


Head over Heart

by Lexkru



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan, clexa - Fandom
Genre: Anya & Clarke Griffin Friendship, Anya & Lexa Friendship (The 100), Arkadia, Azgeda, BAMF Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Badass Clarke, Bounty hunter Clarke, Camp Jaha | Arkadia, Clarke Griffin and Lexa in Love, Clarke is a badass who doesn't take shit from anyone, Clexa, Commander Lexa (The 100), Death, Earth, F/F, F/M, Grounder Clarke Griffin, Grounders (The 100) - Freeform, Heartbroken Clarke, Hunting, I don't even know what to tag!, Jaha being annoying, Jealous Clarke, Jealous Lexa, Kane being out ranked, Kane may be evil?, LGBTQ Character, Lexa being adorable, M/M, Mercenary Clarke, Multi, Nia is a bitch, Nightbloods, Other, Polis, Sankru is evil, The100 reimagined, Wars, battles, broody Lexa, no Allie, no flame, ranya, raven being raven
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:42:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 183,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27461398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexkru/pseuds/Lexkru
Summary: Clarke in an attempt to save a friend makes a deal with Kane to be sent to the ground with a few others to see if it is survivable, once there she realizes nothing is what it seems. Along the journey Clarke meets this a badass Commander who she instantly feels a connection with but things take a turn leaving the blonde conflicted and lost.whileLexa is trying to navigate a broken heart when a mesmerizing blonde woman falls from the sky and changes her whole life-the 100 reimagined
Relationships: Anya/Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 406
Kudos: 565





	1. The Mission

**Author's Note:**

> hi and welcome to my newest story! i missed writing in the 100 universe and not just my au so here we are. Prepare yourselves because there is lotsssssss of drama and angst coming your way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bold text means they're speaking in Trigedasleng!

* * *

* * *

“Repeat the mission.”

“Take the dropship down to earth confirm if it is survivable within 48 hours and wait for the rest of you to join us.” Clarke recited, she only heard it a million times.

“You forgot survive taking a hundred-year-old tin that can possibly fail as soon as we take off.” Raven added,

“Ah yes, that too.” The blonde smirked at her best friend,

“Girls this is a not joke.”

“Mom calm down, we know what we need to do you just have to let us.” Clarke loved her parents, but they worry to much, not that they don’t have good reason too, but this is the endgame, they needed to save their people.

“I know, I just-.” Abby sighed, “This is dangerous.”

“Abs this is necessary, we need to know if we can live down there. It’s our only option.” Raven hugged the older woman; Clarke has been her best friend since they were kids in turn Abby and Jake were like her parents. They took care of her when no one else would and she would always love them for it.

“I just wish it didn’t have to be you two.” The older women said sighing into the hug,

“You know it has to be us, plus we owe it to Octavia and Bellamy.” Clarke replied, “We promised we wouldn’t let her live in the sky box or be floated so this is for her too.”

Abby stared at the two girls who were women now, they were adults and as much as it hurt seeing them leave, she was also beyond proud of them. They were doing what others on this ship were too afraid to do even if it meant saving our people.

“I’m so proud of both of you.” Abby smiled,

“We know.” Raven grinned,

“If we want to land on the right mark we need to go soon.” Clarke announced and Abby nodded,

“I’ll get Jake and Kane, you two get your friends, we’ll meet at the ship.”

The girls nodded and walked towards the training station of the Ark. Their whole lives they’ve lived on this ship and today they would be leaving it forever. For Clarke she wasn’t sad to leave the Ark itself, she was sad to leave her parents, but she had faith that this wasn’t goodbye. They were going to make it to earth, and no one was going to die, that was the plan.

When Jake had first discovered the flaw in the air system the councils first call to action was a culling. In layman’s terms they were going to float the citizens they deemed useless to give the upper class more time to find a solution.

Thankfully, the new Chancellor Kane and the Griffin’s came up with a different plan and that was to send 100 citizens to the ground to find out if the earth was survivable. In a sense it would still provide them with more oxygen, but it would also give them a long-term option. If the ground was habitable, they could save everyone and not die in space.

After debating and deliberating the Chancellor approved the mission the only problem was finding the citizens. Council member Jaha proposed sending 100 prisoners from the sky box since in his eyes they were expendable, but Kane wouldn’t allow it. He proposed to let their people volunteer, that in a time of crisis they would step up. Unfortunately for him he was wrong, but he still refused to send kids down to earth unwillingly.

With the Ark still dying and the council pushing for a culling Kane needed a solution asap and luckily, he got it thanks to a very convincing blonde. He knew the girl had her own motives for volunteering, but he didn’t mind. The deal they made wasn’t the most orthodox, but it was necessary, and if anyone found out it could ruin Kane. He wasn’t proud of it but at the time he had no choice, the important thing was now he had his volunteers.

Clarke and her friends were the only ones to step up and they were running out of time. So, he accepted her terms, and he got his mission.

Now here they were seven crazy ass slightly above teens risking their lives to save everyone. Hopefully.

When they reached the training room everyone was waiting like they planned, and this was it. They were going to earth in less than 20 minutes.

Clarke looked around the room seeing the people who were in this with her, who weren’t letting her do this alone. They were doing this to save their people but mostly to save their friend. The people in this room with her she would protect with her own life and that includes Octavia.

She met a seven-year-old Octavia on accident when she was ten and Bellamy, Octavia’s brother was thirteen. On the ark you aren’t allowed to have more than one kid, if you did the consequence was death and the child would be sent to the sky box. When Clarke met Octavia, she was hiding in the floor and she discovered her by accident. She had gone to see Bellamy a newer friend she had made while he was in the med center where her mom is the head doctor. The boy was sick, he had a cold and Clarke thought he was being quite the baby about it. He complained a lot, but Clarke kept him company and asked to be his friend. They would usually hangout in her home but one day she decided to visit him.

Her dad had just built her a new toy and she was excited to show him, so she raced to Factory station in hopes of finding him and she did. Her eagerness to get into the room caused her to see the young girl trying to get into her hidden spot in the floor.

Bellamy begged her not to tell anyone especially her parents who were on the council and she kept that promise. She would visit the siblings bringing Octavia clothes and books to keep her busy, she even introduced her to Raven, and they all became fast friends. Ten years later she was keeping her promise to protect the girl and her family.

“You guys ready?” The blonde asked the group, initially it was just her Raven, Bellamy and Octavia but a week later they got a few more volunteers.

Let me introduce you, Raven is the brains, Clarke is their fearless leader, Bellamy is the protective big brother, Octavia is the firecracker, Finn is the lover boy, Wells is the heart of the group, and lastly Murphy is the humor.

“Ready to possibly die?” Murphy asked,

“Precisely.” Raven replied,

“Never been more ready then.”

“Listen guys, especially Wells, Finn and Murphy this is your last chance to back out of this.” Clarke started, “You know my reasons for being here and I appreciate you volunteering to come but I won’t feel bad if you decide to back out. This is your last chance to.”

Clarke looked around the room at her friends, they showed no sign of fear or second thoughts and her heart felt full knowing they would stand by even in their impending death.

“We’re with you Clarke.” Wells spoke first,

“I’m not leaving your side and you know that.” Raven added throwing her arm around the blonde,

“I’m with you till the end.” Bellamy smiled,

“Me too.” Octavia added, “Plus it’s not like I have much choice but if I did, I would still be with you.”

“I’m in it for the free trip to earth.” Murphy shrugged,

“None of us are backing out.” Finn said, and Clarke wished if anyone would stay it would be him if not for her sake then for Ravens.

“Ok, then it’s time.”

They made their way to the dropship that Raven, and Jake had prepared, where the Chancellor and Clarkes parents awaited them.

“Raven the pressure regulator has been replaced and the radio is there as we discussed.” Jake told the girl who nodded,

“Got it Jake.”

“You guys know but I’ll reiterate, you have 48 hours to make contact or the council will call a vote for the culling and I won’t be able to stop it.” Kane told the group,

“We got it.” Clarke nodded, “I expect you to keep your end of the deal as well.”

“I will.” He nodded,

“Then this is goodbye.” The blonde turned to her parents, “For now.”

“For now.” Abby nodded pulling the girl into a hug, “Don’t forget the wrist bands, they’re our connection if you take it off it will look like you’re dead.”

“Keep wrist bands on, we got it.”

“Love you kid.” Jake hugged Raven,

“You too.” Raven smiled, then hugged Abby while the blonde hugged her dad.

Soon they were in the small dropship strapped in and Raven was counting down the launch. Clarke chose to think about what earth would look like, would there be trees or animals? Would there be any buildings left or did the bombs completely fuck up everything?

It didn’t take long for her mind to wonder back to the reason she was even thinking about these things. Her mission.

The mission was simple, go down to earth try and save the human race and live happily ever after. Sounds easy enough right? Well here they were in a hundred-year-old dropship on their way. They have no clue if they’ll survive or make it past launch, but they were here now and there was no turning back.

“Raven, what’s happening?” Clarke asked her friend

“We’re landing.” Raven said,

“So, we made it?” Bellamy smiled,

“We didn’t burn up in a fiery explosion when we entered the Earth’s atmosphere so that’s good, but the earth could still be a radiation playground for us to play and die in.”

“The humming stopped.” Octavia pointed out, “Does that mean?”

“We’re here.” Raven looked to Clarke, “We made it.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t open the door.” Finn said causing everyone to roll their eyes, to say no one wanted him to come was understatement. It wasn’t because he was a bad guy or unlikable, he just said stupid things and didn’t think very rationally.

“We have to eventually dumbass.” Murphy scoffed,

Clarke unbuckled herself from her seat and moved to the door, this was it. Moment of truth, could they survive here or will they die once the doors open.

“Together.” Raven joined the girl,

“Together.” They grabbed the lever pulling it bac, instantly they were blinded by a bright light and Clarke saw this as their possible demise. But after a second her eyes adjusted, and she saw it.

Green everywhere, trees and bushes, flowers it was all there. The sky was bright and blue how she imagined and so far, the air was breathable.

“Holy shit.” Octavia gasped taking in the sight,

“How about you do the honors of being the first person on earth in 100 years.” Clarke smirked at the girl; she slowly made her way down the ramp stopping just before the grass.

The wind was blowing, and Clarke could even swear she heard birds chirping, finally the young girl jumped down her boots crunching the leaves and sticks around them.

“WE’RE BACK BITCHES!!!!” The girl yelled and the others ran to join her, earth was survivable.

For a second the mission was a lost thought, all Clarke could think about was the fact that they were on earth. Breathing real natural air from the trees and feeling cool wind run through their hair and over their bodies.

This was real, they did it.

“Clarke, we fucking did it!” Raven jumped on the girl who instantly caught her squeezing her the tightest she could,

“I can’t believe this is real.”

“We need to make contact.” Raven remembered,

Clarke and Raven entered the dropship and found the radio jake packed for them, when the brunette picked it up, she saw the wires and cords spewing out of the box. She wasn’t a technical genius like Raven, but it didn’t look good.

“Shit.” Raven picked up the box examining the damage, “The landing was a little rough it must’ve gotten thrown around.”

“But you can fix it right?”

“Of course, I can, it just may take a minute.”

Clarke could hear rustling outside and maybe even whines, but she wasn’t sure, surly the group hasn’t found trouble already. She was expecting wimpy Finn to have trip on a stick or something and scraped his knee. He wasn’t the toughest of the group even with their training.

Unfortunately for her that isn’t what she found at all.

“Uhm Raven, I don’t think we have a minute.” Clarke mumbled to the girl while scanning the dropship for any kind of weapon.

“What? Why?” Raven asked joining the blonde at the door and seeing their newest problem. “Oh shit.”

Surrounding their friends were at least twenty darkly dressed warriors with swords and face paint gracing their faces. They had the others on there knees, knives pressing against their throats.

“We’re not alone.”


	2. Grounders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold means they are speaking in Trigedasleng

**_THE ARK_ **

It had been 24 hour since the dropship left and they still hadn’t heard anything from Clarke or Raven. Jake tried to justify saying maybe there was damage in landing, or they needed to find shelter first and all of them tried to believe it. They tried to stay hopeful especially since the wrist bands showed they were alive and well, but it wasn’t easy with the council breathing down their necks.

“I say we follow through with our plans, if they haven’t made contact then they probably died during launch.” One council member said,

“No, we agreed to give them 48 hours, they still have 24.” Kane replied, “Plus the wristbands show they are all perfectly healthy, there is no signs of radiation or sickness.”

“People are getting sicker here Marcus; we need to do something.” Jaha pushed,

“Your son was on that ship, or do you not even care?” Kane asked the man, but he already knew the answer. Jaha was a selfish man the only thing he truly cared about was getting the Chancellor pin back.

“He made his choice now we must make ours.”

“We did and that is to give them 48 hours, end of discussion.”

“And if they don’t make contact?” Another council member asks,

“I want everyone in this room to hear what I’m saying.” Kane stood up, “If they don’t make contact there is no other option. You can float as many citizens as you want, and the problem will never go away. The Ark is dying there is no fixing it the only way is Earth. And if they don’t make contact then I’ll hand over control. Everyone in this room seems to think they can find a solution my eyes can’t see.”

Kane could see the glint in Jaha’s eyes at the thought of being in control and he almost regretted his words. But he had faith in Clarke and in Earth he just needed them to make contact.

* * *

**_EARTH_ **

Darkness that was all Clarke could see, the grounders had taken them, and she had no clue where she just knew they had been walking for at least 20 minutes.

Clarke had tried reasoning with them, but they didn’t listen, she didn’t know if they didn’t speak English or just didn’t want to hear her out. Clearly, they thought she was weak, they thought all of them were and that was fine for now. They needed to play their cards right if they wanted to make it out of this alive.

After 10 more minutes of walking they finally stopped, she could hear talking but the language was something she’s never heard before. From lessons on the ark she knew at least 3 foreign languages but this one was different. If she had to guess it would be close to Latin, but she didn’t understand a word. 

Soon her hood was pulled off by one of the grounders, her eyes took a minutes to adjust and when they did, she saw they were in a room lit with candles and grounders surrounding them.

“Who is your leader?” One of them asked, the women was jaw dropping her hair dirty blonde with cheek bones carved by the gods. Her face was also painted, and she had a sword on her hip.

“I am.” Clarke said causing the women to turn to her, “I’m Clarke.”

The women looked at her taking in her appearance, in comparison they were quite different. Clarke with her cool toned clothing and the other with her black clothes fitted for a warrior.

“Clarke, your people have intruded our lands today.” The women said, “Your contraption landed in the middle of our village blocking trading routes.”

“I apologize for the inconvenience; we weren’t aware that there were people inhabiting Earth at all.” Clarke replied, it was still crazy to her that people have been living here possibly this whole time.

“Apologies solve nothing, you put everyone at risk here today. The mountain men have noticed you falling from the sky. My scouts have a ready spotted several of them headed to your contraption.”

“Mountain men?” Clarke asked,

The women looked at Clarke curiously wondering what she should do in this situation. Killing all them was an option, it wouldn’t be hard they seemed harmless enough. Or she could wait for orders from the commander but that could take days.

“Get them up.” The women ordered; the guards grabbed the others. “Take them back to the cages.”

“Wait!” Clarke yelled at the women trying to get her attention, but she ignored the blonde. “Please.” They need to radio Kane and if she had to say they had less than 12 hours to do so.

The guards locked them in two cages, the girls in one guys in the other.

“Fuck.”

“What are we going to do?” Octavia asked the blonde,

“I don’t know.” She mumbled, “But we need to do something quick, we have 12 hours to get to that radio or everyone we know dies.”

“No pressure or anything.” Murphy said from the cage next to them.

Clarke took in her surroundings trying to notice every little detail, they only had a view of a small room with a counter and the rest was hidden by a wall. The locks were secure, as good as Clarke was, she wasn’t getting through that. But giving up also wasn’t an option so she just had to think, what could she offer or how can she at least get the door open so the others could run.

“We’ll think of something.” Raven said as if she was reading the blonde’s mind.

* * *

**_THE ARK_ **

_10 hours remaining_

Kane spent most of the past 38 hours in the control with Abby and Jake while they waited for the kids to make contact. He had to admit it wasn’t looking very good, but he still had hope. The wrist bands were still showing that they were alive so that was something. Hope was the only thing keeping his people alive, so he refused to give up.

‘Come on Clarke.’ He whispered to himself as he waited by the radio.

* * *

**_EARTH_ **

Three hours had passed, and Clarke was getting antsy, the women from before had yet to come back and she was losing hope. Her friends put their faith in her and she couldn’t get them out of here. She failed them, like she said she wouldn’t do.

“ **Put him here**.” Clarke heard one of them say in their language, they were carrying a dark-skinned man.

From what Clarke could see the men could barely hold him with the amount of thrashing around he was doing. Clarke wasn’t a doctor, but her mother was, and she has spent many hours in the med center helping out. Before all of this she probably would’ve even finished her schooling and became a doctor but now here they were.

The group watched as they tried to help the man to no avail, Clarke recognized some of the symptoms, but she couldn’t be sure without taking a closer look.

“Drugs?” Raven whispered to the blonde clearly spotting the symptoms too.

“That’s what I was thinking.” She watched as what seemed to be the doctor tried and failed to help the man and it gave Clarke an idea.

“Hey.” She called trying to get the girls attention, “I can help him.”

Finally, the woman turned her attention to Clarke and her friends for the first time since she caged them up.

“How?”

“I’m a doctor.” She lied, even if she wasn’t a doctor she still could help.

“You’re a healer?” The girl asked skeptically,

“Back home I was.” Clarke said confidently, “I recognize some of his symptoms I can help him.”

“What do you want in return?”

“Just for you to let us go back to our ship so we can contact our people.”

Clarke watched as the women thought over her deal, she had no clue if she could save this man or what would happen if she didn’t, but she had to try.

“Let her out.” The woman ordered,

“I need her help.” Clarke pointed to Raven and the woman nodded allowing them to exit the cage.

Now that she was closer, she could the man was seizing which wasn’t good. She only assumed drugs was the issue but now she wasn’t sure, there could be many different things poison being one.

“What’s your name?” Clarke asked the woman,

“Anya.”

“Do you know him Anya?”

“Yes.” She looked at the man, “He’s a friend and he lives in my village, his name is Lincoln.”

“What happened to him?”

“Mountain men.”

Clarke still hadn’t learned who the mountain men were but that was a problem for later, she had roughly 5 hours to save him so they can get back to the dropship.

“Withdrawals?” Raven asks and Clarke shrugs,

“It could be, tell me about these mountain men.” Clarke examined the man while waiting for Anya to explain.

“They are our enemy’s; they’ve tormented the woods for decades taking our people and turning them into reapers.” She answered,

“Reaper?”

“Like Lincoln many have come back from the mountain as reapers, they’re animalistic.” Anya gulped, “They recognize no one and they kill. We’ve never been able to save someone from such a fate.”

“We’ll save him.” Clarke assured, “I need cloths and warm water, if I’m right he’s on a sort of drug we just need to get it out of his system.”

Anya ordered her people to get what she needed and watched Clarke look over the boy pointing to something on his neck and talking to the other girl.

“What is it?” Anya asked,

“Needle marks.” Clarke points to his neck, “He’s been injected with something, something strong. He has a fever, but he should be fine when the drug leaves his system.”

“That could take a while Clarke.” Raven whispered to the girl, “We don’t have a while.”

“Don’t you think I know that?”

* * *

**THE ARK**

_4 hours remaining_

“We need a plan B.” Abby said pacing the room,

“There is no plan B Abby.” Kane sighed, “There is nothing!”

“They still have time.” Jake pointed out, “They’ll come through they have to.”

“I should’ve never let them go.” Kane murmured, “None of this should be happening.”

“Well it is, and we need to do something.” A voice said behind them,

The trio turned seeing Jaha enter the control room with his same all-knowing look on his face.

“What are you doing here?” Abby asked,

“I came to tell you that the council has conducted a list for sector 17.” He answered,

“Let me guess who is on it.” Jake rolled his eyes, “Working class, Factory station anyone who doesn’t matter to you.”

“Decisions need to be made and we need a Chancellor who can make them.” Jaha said,

“If that were you, you would still be Chancellor don’t you think?” Kane asked the man who smiled,

“All things will be set right soon.” He smiled, “Sooner than you think I’d guess.”

They watched the man leave before turning back to the radio, 4 hours that’s all they had. Sitting here waiting wasn’t doing them any good but there was nothing else he could do. There were a possibility 300 people were going to die today and there was nothing he could do. But he had to try and save them.

“I have an idea and I need your help.” Kane turned to the couple.

* * *

**EARTH**

_2 hours remaining_

Hope was running thin on the ground as much as it was up at the ark, Lincoln hadn’t gotten better or worse leaving Clarke and the others still basically prisoner. She tried everything she knew but without medication or a proper med center all they could do was wait.

“Clarke.”

 _But they couldn’t wait, they needed to get back to the dropship_.

“Clarke?”

_Maybe she was wrong to have hope._

“Clarke!”

_Maybe she was wrong to think she could save anyone._

“CLARKE!”

“What?” The blonde turned to her friend,

“Something’s happening.” Raven pointed to Lincoln who was seizing again.

“Get that side, we need to turn him on his side.”

“Clarke.” Both girls looked at the man, he stopped seizing and stopped breathing completely.

“What is happening?” Anya asked,

Clarke turned him back on his back and went into to full doctor mode, he was not dying. She wouldn’t except that

“Clarke he’s dead.” Raven watched the girl trying to resuscitate him,

“Lincoln you need to stay with me.” Clarke straddled the man giving him CPR and mouth to mouth, “Please you have to stay with me.”

“Clarke.”

“No Raven I’m going to save him.”

“Stay with me.” CPR wasn’t working but she couldn’t stop, she continued mouth to mouth and finally it took. He was breathing and the trashing and flailing stopped he was just lying there. “Lincoln can you hear me?”

“Lincoln?” Anya hesitantly approached the man; he wasn’t thrashing or violent, but she was still weary.

“Anya?” the man asked, his voice hoarse and his eyes strained, **“Who are they?”**

The woman laughed, **“Your saviors apparently.”**

 **“Thank you.”** the man said to the blonde who didn’t understand a word,

“They come from the sky Lincoln; they don’t understand.” Anya told him, and his eyes went wide.

“Clarke, we need to go.” Raven reminded,

“I saved him now you let us go.” Clarke turned to the women,

“Very well, I’ll escort you.” Anya nodded before ordering her guards to do something the others didn’t understand. “Let’s go.”

The trip back to the dropship was fretting, Anya escorted them as she said but all Clarke wanted to do was run. She had no clue if there was even anymore time left but they had to try.

It was almost dark by the time they got back, and Raven went straight to work on the radio.

“Thank again Skai girl.” Anya said to Clarke,

“What happens from here?” Clarke asked, “I can’t imagine you’re just letting us go.”

“That looks like exactly what I’m doing.” The girl smirked,

“And when the rest of my people get here?”

“The fate of your people is not up to me Skai girl, but I can talk to my commander. You Skai people seem harmless enough.”

‘Some of us.’ Clarke thought to herself,

“Thank you, Anya.” Clarke looked behind the woman seeing a white suit, like a space suit but different. It was moving towards them and she could see something shiny, _a gun._ “Anya duck.” The blonde quickly grabbed a knife from the other girl’s belt and threw at the figure landing straight in the chest.

Everything after that happened quick two more men appeared but were quickly taken out by arrows. Clarke had no clue where they were coming from, but she was thankful they were there.

“Are you ok?” Clarke asked the girl who nodded,

“You’re a good shot.”

“Let me guess, mountain men?” Clarke asked,

“Yes, more will come if those don’t return. We try not to kill them for that reason but sometimes it’s unavoidable.” Anya explained, “You won’t be safe here, you’re welcome to come back to my village after you’ve contacted your people.”

“Thank you, I’ll go see if Raven’s made any progress.” Anya nodded while ordering her people to keep watch,

Clarke entered the dropship where her friends were waiting,

“Heard you being a badass out there.” Raven smirked, “Who were they?”

“Mountain men whatever that means, how’s the radio?”

“Do we even have anytime left?” Bellamy asks,

“If my watch is right, we have 5 minutes.” Wells adds,

“Rae” Clarke urged,

“I’m going as fast as I can this thing really took a beating.”

The group watched as Raven did her thing connecting wires and testing the connection.

“I got it.” She turned the dial to the tuning Jake told her to set it and waited, “Alpha station this is Raven Reyes do you copy?”

Nothing.

“Alpha station this is Raven Reyes do you copy?”

“Raven?”

“Kane? It’s good to hear your voice are we too late?”

“You cut it close.” The man laughed, “Status?”

“The earth is survivable there are even grounders.”

“Grounders?”

“People have been living here this whole time.”

“Wow.” The other man gasped, “Are they friendly?”

“Uhm, sort of.” Raven replied, “Right now we’re good but Earth isn’t as simple as we thought. Just get everyone here will ya?”

“The council will meet as soon as possible so we can plan our next move.”

“Copy that.”

“Kane wait, where are my parents? Can I talk to them for a second?” He heard the blonde ask and he knew she wouldn’t be happy,

There was a long pause before he said anything,

“They’re not here.” He sighed,

“Go get them.”

“I can’t Clarke.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” Clarke yelled, “Where are they?”

“Halfway to earth I’d assume.”


	3. This Is How We Survive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold within " " means they are speaking in Trigedasleng!

**THE ARK**

“Are you sure about this?” Jake asked

Kane’s plan was absolutely crazy, but he refused to let 300 people die if there was a chance, they could all be saved.

“Yes.”

“You know they’re going to come for you if you do this.” Abby said and the man nodded,

“I took an oath to protect everyone on this ship, even if they can’t see it this is better than the alternative.”

“How did you even get the list?”

“Jaha isn’t as smart as he thinks.” Kane smiled, “I need you to gather everyone and meet me at the dropship. It was built to hold 350 people so as soon as you get everyone in you take off, don’t wait for me. Also, I ordered for prisoner 023 to be released in your custody, take them with you.”

“Where are you going?” Jake asked,

“To send a message, as soon as you land use the radio.”

Being Chancellor was never something Kane planned, he always worked best behind the scenes. But that changed the day Jaha lost his damn mind and went completely off book. He leadership had always been questionable but when the engineers discovered the discrepancy with the air system, he lost it.

He started recommending preposterous plans like floating every station besides Alpha and Mecha so they could live off the air longer. Lower class was something he didn’t think about twice, to him they were nothing. It didn’t matter if they lived or died and if it benefited the wealthier stations then it was a plus.

Luckily, Kane got him voted out with the help of a few council members and another person, but he still remained on the council. It wasn’t a complete win but in comparison to being the chancellor he was powerless.

Everything they did they do by vote, except for what Kane was doing at this moment. The only people who knew what he had planned was Jake and Abby and until take off he planned to keep it that way all he needed was a distraction.

He entered the control room barricading the doors behind him before heading to the monitors. What he was about to do he couldn’t come back from, none of them could but this was the right thing.

“Citizens of the Ark, for 100 years we have lived and thrived on these stations. Once separate then together and what we’ve achieved in that time is incomparable to what anyone could’ve imagined. As a people we’ve accomplished so much and overcome all obstacles and the way we did that was together. And it’s knowing that knowledge that gives me the confidence to tell you what our latest obstacle is. The Ark, our home is dying. There is no other way to put it. The air system is failing, and our amazing engineers and mechanics have tried around the clock to find a solution but there simply isn’t one.” Kane sighed,

“I know this may sound harsh or hopeless, but I assure you I have not lost hope yet and I never will. 4 weeks ago, myself and a few council members sanctioned a plan to send 100 citizens to the ground to see if it was habitable. The plan was approved, and it was recommended that those 100 citizens be underage teen inmates, but I refused. This plan would only go through if I had willing participants and that caused a roadblock. The council does not want you to know the ark is dying, they thought it was cause chaos and maybe it will, but I have faith it won’t. I know this will only bring us closer.

Thankfully for all of us a very brave young women came forward and volunteered to complete my mission. She and 6 other people left for earth just under 47 hours ago. They haven’t made contact yet, but we can see from the wrist bands made by our head doctor Abigail Griffin that they are alive. Radiation has not killed them, and all their vitals are normal. In one hour if they don’t radio confirmation that the earth is habitable, the council has decided to float 300 lower class citizens. I believe in our plan and I believe earth is our new home, you just have to believe it to.”

He could feel the ship shake and he knew Jake had did it, he got them on the dropship. He knew the council would be here soon, but he wasn’t running. Instead he stood by the radio and hoped this last hour would prove him right.

It wasn’t long before the council was beating down the door and he contemplated his options. Wait out the hour or let them in and risk being arrested and floated, even with the choices looking bleak he had no regrets.

“Marcus we’ll get in sooner or later.” He heard Jaha yell,

“I guess I’ll be here waiting.” The man quipped back before going back to the radio.

The hour was almost up when he heard the door opening, he blocked the entrance good enough to buy him the hour. Even if this doesn’t go to plan, he could at least say he did all he could. He tried every option and ran every solution given to him to see if it would work and it’s all he could do.

When Jaha and the others entered he planned to surrender, there was no use fighting.

“Do you even know what you’ve done?” Jaha asked the man,

“I did what you wanted, I floated 300 people to save air.”

“You know that was not the plan, you sanctioned another mission without council approval and that is a crime.”

“I did what I thought was right, I’m trying to save our people.”

“The only thing you’ve done is add to the body count on Earth.” Jaha replied, “I vote the Chancellor be removed from his position and floated for his crimes.”

Kane wasn’t surprised this was the route he was taking, he still had supporters on the council but without the Griffins it would be all bad.

“Alpha station this is Raven Reyes do you copy?”

Everyone in the room froze as the static voice filled the room around them, Kane was sure this was a hallucination caused by the possibility of this demise via the air chamber. But then he heard it again and he looked at the faces around him and he knew it was real.

“Raven?” He answered nearly in tears,

“Kane? It’s good to hear your voice are we too late?”

“You cut it close.” The man laughed, “Status?”

“The earth is survivable there are even grounders.” Kane couldn’t help but let out a breath he’s been holding for the last 6 months then he digested the second half of that sentence.

“Grounders?”

“People have been living here this whole time.”

“Wow.” The other man gasped, “Are they friendly?”

“Uhm, sort of.” Raven replied, “Right now we’re good but Earth isn’t as simple as we thought. Just get everyone here will ya?”

“The council will meet as soon as possible so we can plan our next move.”

“Copy that.”

“Kane wait, where are my parents? Can I talk to them for a second?” He heard the blonde ask and he knew she wouldn’t be happy,

There was a long pause before he said anything,

“They’re not here.” He sighed,

“Go get them.”

“I can’t Clarke.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” Clarke yelled, “Where are they?”

“Halfway to earth I’d assume.”

“What are you talking about Kane?”

“It’s a long story Clarke and right now I don’t have time to tell it. We need to meet with the council, but they should be landing soon. Keep the radio near by I’ll let you know when Jake gets back to me.” Kane said turning the radio off so that she couldn’t reply. He knew he owed her an explanation but right now they have bigger problems.

“This changes nothing.” Jaha announced, “You will still be floated for your crimes.”

“Hold on Jaha.” Ira one of the council member said, “Kane’s missions were successful even if he didn’t go about it the proper way he still came through.”

“Ira is right, Earth is habitable. Our only worry now should be joining our people.”

“He broke the law!” Jaha yelled,

“And if he hadn’t, we would’ve killed 300 people for nothing.”

“As if those people deserve to see Earth.” He rebuked, “And thanks to you they’ll get to see it before us!”

“I think we’ve heard enough Jaha.” Kane warned, “I vote to remove council member Thelonious Jaha from the council and have him locked in Sky box as he is a possible threat to the future of ALL of our people.”

“That is preposterous! You’re more diluted than I thought Kane.” Jaha scoffed.

“I second your vote Chancellor Kane.” Ira raised her hand,

“I second the vote as well.”

“I do as well.”

Kane was overwhelmed by the support he suddenly gained; he still didn’t trust these people, but it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was getting down to the ground and once they were settled, he’d deal with the council.

* * *

**EARTH**

“I’m going to kill him!” Clarke growled; she had been fuming ever since Kane cut off their call. She wanted to punch him or kill him for the simple fact that he sent her parents here without waiting for their call.

“Calm down.” Bellamy said, he knew better than to push the blonde, but he also needed levelheaded Clarke not I’m going to kick someone’s ass Clarke.

“This wasn’t the fucking deal!” The blonde yelled, “And I swear if he doesn’t uphold our agreement, I’m going to kill him as soon as he lands on this planet.”

“I don’t like scary Clarke.” Finn murmured,

“Well there’s the fucking door Finn!” Clarke said pointing to the opening in the dropship, she knew she needed to calm down, but she couldn’t. Her anger was something she sort of had under control, ok not really but that’s irrelevant right now.

“Listen to my voice.” Raven grabbed the blonde forcing her to stop the pacing she hadn’t realized she was doing, “They’re going to be fine.”

“Why are you not pissed?” Clarke asked the girl who sighed, “This is our fucking parents Raven!”

“I know Clarke and I am pissed; I’m scared I’m everything, but I know they’ll be fine. I know it they have to be.”

“Guys come look!” Octavia yelled,

“Pull it together.” Raven said before walking outside, Clarke took a deep breathe before joining them. “It’s them.”

Clarke watched in silence as the ship flew through the sky, she had no clue where they would land or if they would be safe, but she wasn’t waiting around to find out. She went back into the dropship and grabbed her bag she packed on the ark, it held the only things that were important to her and she wasn’t letting it leave her side.

After getting everything, she needed she went back out avoiding the looks from her friends and approached Anya who had joined them in watching the ship which was landing.

“Can you tell where that is?” she asked the women,

“I could estimate, probably a few hours walk, still in Trikru territory.”

“Can you point me in the direction, I need to get there before anyone else does.”

“You’d never find it on your own Skai girl, you don’t know the woods. You’ll die before you even make it.” Anya said plainly, “Wait until morning.”

“Just point me in the direction I’ll figure it out from there, and if I die it’s one less problem for you to deal with.”

Anya sighed looking at the blonde, she admired Clarke’s confidence and strength no matter how stupid she was being. The girl surprised her, and people didn’t do that too often. Any other time she’d leave these people to die but she had a feeling, whether it was good or bad these people would play a huge role in all of their futures. More of them were coming and she needed to learn everything she could, the commander would want every detail especially if they could be a potential threat.

“We’ll stop at my village for supplies then I will take you.” Anya said before starting the walk not leaving time for Clarke to reply.

“Clarke what’s happening?” Wells asked the girl,

“She’s going to take us to the ship.” She answered, “I need to get there as soon as possible, I need to know.”

No one questioned her they just nodded and followed her back to Anya’s village. If she was thinking clearly, she would wait until morning, but her parents were here possibly dead in landing or dead because they were attacked and that was the only thing on her mind.

The walk back to the village was silent and Clarke was happy about that, she didn’t need Finn saying something dumb or Murphy trying to lighten the mood with a dark joke.

When they arrived Anya grabbed a few of her warriors to journey with them, she had no clue if she could even trust these people but Anya had honored her deal and saving her life from the mountain men seemed to earn some trust but she was still cautious.

“Everyone stays except Bell and Raven.” Clarke told them, she knew Octavia would be the one to fight back,

“No!” the girl scolded, “You guys are not going without me!”

“Octavia, I need you safe and we’re the only ones with any fight training.” Clarke sighed, “I need to know you’re ok, please don’t fight me on this. Anya promised you’d be safe here until we get back just trust me.”

“You know I trust you.” She mumbled,

“It’s for the best O.” Bellamy added,

“Fine.”

“Plus, I need you to keep and eye on Lincoln, make sure he keeps getting better.” Clarke adds, “Wells will help.”

“Why do I have to stay?” Finn asked,

“Because we don’t have time to answer stupid questions all night.” Clarke replied walking past the boy and outside. Anya allowed the ones who were staying to stay in the house they were previously in where Clarke saved Lincoln. And also, where they were imprisoned for several hours but water under the bridge?

“Can I have a sword?” Clarke asked Anya who almost laughed,

“You want me to give you a weapon?”

“Yes?”

“Ooh me too.” Raven adds,

“No.”

“Why?” Clarke asked, “I saved your life.”

“And I’m repaying you more than I should.” Anya barked back, “Trust is earned Skai girl, you’ve helped me, but I have also helped you more than I needed. I won’t give you a weapon.”

“Fine, then we’re ready.”

* * *

**THE ARK**

The council meeting was in session and the trip to Earth was under way, they still hadn’t heard from Jake, but it didn’t matter. Raven confirmed they could survive down there and that’s all they need.

If all goes to plan, they will be on Earth with the rest of their people in two days’ time. The latest issue was space, not everyone could fit on the exodus ship, but Kane had a solution. Before he sent Jake down, he had him confirm they could break the stations apart and launch them. 

“The ark holds 1,800 people with 308 of them now on the ground that leaves 1,492 of us here. The exodus ship will hold 750 leaving 742 of us here on the ship.” Kane explained, “Jake Griffin our head engineer confirmed to me that we can break apart the stations launching Alpha and Mecha stations to Earth. The only problem is we have no way of knowing if the stations will make it.”

“Who goes on exodus?” Ira asks,

“We know the human race has been thriving on Earth and we know our people are down there and will need reinforcements. I vote we fill the exodus ship with our Doctors, Farmers, Engineers, Mechanics, and other essential workers. The rest of the spaces will be drawn by lottery.”

“And you will be on Exodus?”

Kane shook his head, “No, I will be heading Alpha station. I know you’ve had your doubts, but this was always about saving our people. Everything I’ve done has been for that, if I don’t make it, I’ve already given orders for Jake Griffin to fill in for Chancellor until a proper election can be held.”

“Any objections?”

Kane waited but no one objected to his surprise.

“What of Jaha?” One council member asks,

“He will be on Alpha station also, no matter how far gone he deserve a chance like all of us.” Kane said.

* * *

**EARTH**

“Where did you learn to fight?” Anya asks, they had been walking for almost an hour and most of its Clarke spent trying not to think.

“My dad and old videos.” Clarke answered, “And old Roman Empire movies believe it or not, sword fighting is a good outlet.”

“What is a movie?” Anya asks,

“It’s like-.” Fuck no ones ever asked her that,

“A movie is basically a bunch of people acting out different words and feelings while being recorded and sold for entertainment.” Raven buts in,

“Interesting.”

Clarke sped up her walking leaving Raven and Anya to discuss useless things like movies or music. Her head needed to stay clear.

“I still can’t believe we’re here.” Bellamy says joining her speed walking,

“It is surreal.”

“Talk to me.”

“I am.”

“I mean really talk.” Bellamy says, “No bullshit just talk.”

“I need them to be here.” Clarke said finally, “I need them to be safe because if they’re not I don’t know what I’d do.”

“They’ll be there.”

“I know, they have to be and I’m letting my mind think about if they’re not.”

“You know I never thanked you.” Bellamy said,

“Because you don’t need to.”

“Clarke what you did-.”

“I know what I did to get us here Bell.” She interrupted, “And you don’t have to thank me for it we’re family I would do it again for this outcome.”

“Do you think Kane will do his part?” He asked her hesitantly,

“Yes, and if he doesn’t, I’m going to kill him.” Clarke said matter of factly,

* * *

“So, cheek bones are all the grounders as naturally this hot?” Raven asks Anya, they had been talking a while and Raven would admit she was very attracted to her,

“Hot?” She asks,

“Attractive, sexy, banging.”

“You’re saying you find me attractive.”

“Uh, yeah.” Raven smirked, “You’re probably the most attractive person I’ve ever met.”

Anya hummed a reply trying to digest the girl’s words, was she flirting or is this casual conversation for sky people?

“You are very attractive as well.” Anya nodded, “I’m sure you have many suitors back on your home.”

“Nope, no one at home.” Raven replied, “I did date dumbass Finn but that’s a whole other story. Surly you have a partner though.”

“No, as the leader of my village I don’t have much time to court anyone.”

“You seem to have a lot of time since we showed up.” The brunette points out,

“When foreign people land in my territory, I make time to deal with the situation.”

“Is helping us dealing with the situation?”

“For now, yes.”

“Why help us at all?”

“I find you people very intriguing, plus your blonde friend saved mine and Lincolns life and it seems I’m feeling charitable today as well.”

Anya stopped walking looking ahead, there was smoke clouding the skies around them and a burnt smell.

“Must be the old engines.” Raven points out before joining Clarke to search the ship.

It was quiet, too quiet for Clarkes liking. If people were here, there would be more talking more excitement but instead there was dead silence. The closer Clarke walked the more dread filled her heart. Was she about to see her parents burnt bodies?

She walked slowly into the crash sight watching her step just in case but there wasn’t any debris. The ship was intact meaning the landing was clean so where was everyone. Clarke walked towards the door Bellamy and Raven trailing behind, they went inside climbing every floor, but it was empty.

“What the hell?” Raven said picking up a canister,

“What is it?” Clarke asks,

“I think it’s some sort of knock out gas.”

“Mountain men.” Anya said, standing by the entrance.

“You’ve seen this before?” Clarke asks,

“They use it to put our people to sleep so they can kidnap them and take them to the mountain.”

“Are you saying the mountain took everyone on this ship?” Bellamy asks and Anya nodded,

“It is what they do.”

“What happens when they take them there?”

“No one has ever survived to tell us, but we know they turn our people to reapers as for the rest.” Anya sighed, “They probably kill them.”

“No.” Clarke whispered,

* * *

**POLIS**

Lexa had been in meeting since she opened her eyes and finally it was night. The ambassadors were never satisfied, they always seemed to find new to complain about and today it was the borders. This clan had too little territory or this one too much and all she wanted to do was tell them to be grateful she allowed any of them to have land at all, but she can’t.

She’s commander and that means everyone voice and everyone’s opinion mattered to her and it does. Everything she’s done during her time as Heda has been to improve life for every clan and she did. It wasn’t easy and she lost a lot trying but her plans were coming to fruition. Soon she will have all 12 clans in her coalition and true peace will flourish all the lands. All she had to do was deal with the Azgeda or better put Queen Nia her self-proclaimed enemy.

Before Lexa took commander all the clans were at war and had been for decades, finally after years of campaigning and fighting she got 11 of the clans to join her coalition. Joining meant better trade agreements and border patrols. There were no more wars and no more fighting. They could rebuild their lands and expand if they wished and all that was because of Lexa. She never gave up and she never stopped trying even when Azgeda tried to force her hand. And even now on the brink of a possible war with them she won’t falter, she will finish executing her plans. Whatever it took.

Her last meeting was over, and she was in her throne room when she heard a knock. A part of her wanted to tell them to go away but alas, she does not have that pleasure.

“ **Enter.”** She yelled, a second later Indra her war chief entered the room. “What is it Indra?”

“ **Anya sent a message**.”

“ **And?”**

“ **The thing we saw fall out of the sky landed in her territory**.”

“ **Any casualties?** ” Lexa asked,

“ **No Heda, but there were people in it. Anya says they come from the sky**.”

“ **I see.** ” Lexa stood from her throne making her way to the balcony, “ **Are they a threat?** ”

“ **So far no**.”

Lexa thought over her options, she could leave this for Anya to handle or she could go handle it herself. Skai people, an interesting concept that she honestly never imagined.

“ **Send word to Anya, I will be traveling to her village in a few days’ time**.” Lexa announced **, “I need to see these sky people for myself**.”

“ **Yes Heda.”** Indra bowed before exiting.

She didn’t know if this Skai people were a threat and even if they weren’t, they she still needed to handle them carefully. They landed on her lands and no doubt expected to take it for their own something she wouldn’t allow. In a few days she would know what intentions these Skai people have and for their sake, it better be pure ones.


	4. Mountain Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick note to say this story will not resemble the show through and through meaning mount weather may not be the same and the last battle might not be exactly like the show!
> 
> also
> 
> Bold within " " means they are speaking in Trigedasleng!

**EARTH**

Two days had passed since they found the dropship containing Abby, Jake and the others abandoned. Clarke had no plan or no solution, her parents were taken and there was nothing she could do. All she could do is wait for Kane, the reason they’re in this mess. If she wants to take down the mountain, she needed an army and guns, lots of guns. There was no way she was letting these people get away with this.

“Clarke it’s been two days, you need to come back to Anya’s village where the rest of us are.” Raven sighed, the blonde hadn’t left the dropship since they returned the other day. All she would do is sit by the Radio and wait, according to Kane he would be coming down today so she would be here waiting.

“I’m fine, you should go back.” Clarke said to the girl, “When Kane and the others arrive, I want to be here.”

“We have no clue where they will even land Clarke.”

“It has to be somewhere near here.”

“Look, Anya says the commander is coming here tomorrow, maybe she will help us get them out of there.”

“Why would she help us Raven?” Clarke snapped, “They don’t have to help us we’re not one of them.”

“According to Anya-.”

“Anya this Anya that why don’t you should just go back to her fucking village and stay there!” Clarke yelled, her and Raven didn’t fight ever not even after what happened with Finn. They always remained solid and they always will, but this was not a good time. Both of them were hurting and both were worried about Abby and Jake.

“Fine.” Raven grabbed her bag and started off for TonDC, they both needed time to chill out so she would give her that.

* * *

**THE ARK**

Kane and the others were all prepped for take-off, the exodus ship had launched already now it was time for risky part of the mission. There was no guarantee anyone of the two stations would survive after launch bunch Kane was content. He knew that even if he didn’t make it some of their people did and that was enough.

“Chancellor, the stations are prepped for launch.” Sinclair the lead mechanic said, “Just waiting for your orders.”

Kane took one last look around him; The Ark wasn’t much but it was home and even if he wasn’t sad to leave, he still appreciated the chance to live here.

Before giving the order, he made sure everyone was strapped in and prepared, he looked at Jaha briefly who wasn’t happy but what was new. He hoped the man would learn that this was about more than him. That he couldn’t be selfish and lead people at the same time but looking at him he knew Jaha would never change. He would always be the egotistical dictator that almost ran the ark in the ground but end here. He won’t let him ruin them anymore especially on Earth.

“We’re a go for launch.” Kane told the mechanic before taking his seat. He closed his eyes and felt and listened as all the stations broke apart. The next time he opened them he hoped it would be on Earth.

* * *

**EARTH**

Clarke watched as the exodus ship landed, Luckily It was only a 1 hour walk from the dropship, so she made it there quickly. When she arrived, everyone was exiting the ship, some she recognized others she assumed were from different stations.

“Clarke?”

Clarke turned around seeing Monty and Jasper some old friends on The Ark, granted she hadn’t seen them since they got locked up, but she was happy to know they made it.

“I’m surprised they let you two out of sky box.” She smiled hugging the boys,

“Our parents refused to go without us and seeing as they’re in charge of Farm station Kane needed them on the ship.” Monty said,

“Where is the Chancellor?” Clarke asked, she knew better than to openly argue with him in front of their people, but she needed to talk to Kane.

“He’s not with us.” Jasper answered, “He’s on Alpha station.”

“Of course, he is.” Clarke growled, always playing Martyr, “This is everyone?”

“No, when we landed about an hour ago a group of people decided to find a water source.”

“I think some people took off on their own as well.” Monty added, “Not that I blame them, I wan to explore this place too.”

“It’s amazing but there are dangers, they should’ve waited.” Clarke sighed, of course people were being stupid. “When was Kane supposed to launch?”

“They already have it seems.” Jasper said pointing to the sky seeing what looks like Alpha station enter the Earths atmosphere. Alpha was the biggest, so Clarke knew from the size it had to be them.

Looks like she’ll get her chance to talk to Kane sooner than she thought.

“Everyone should start packing up, once Alpha station lands, we need to head in that direction.” Clarke said to the group of people that was left from exodus. She could see that maybe only 100 out of the 700 left which was still a good number. All she needed to do was get them to safety wherever the hell that is, it would probably do good to go back to the dropship and see if Kane has access to radio so she can get a location on where he is.

First, she started gathering all the supplies giving them to people to carry and double checking they weren’t leaving anything behind.

“The pod we took down to earth is an hour walk, it has a radio I think it would be good to go there first and wait for Kane to radio is exact location. After we get there we can start searching for water and food to add to the rations you brought.” Clarke hope no one would object to her taking over the leadership role, control was the last thing she wanted but she also didn’t want anyone to die out here, so she took on the responsibility.

As she was making sure everyone had the bags and supplies, she noticed a canister rolling near her foot, the same one from the dropship. A second later white fog started pouring out and she knew what was happening, but she couldn’t move.

“Clarke what’s going on?” she heard Monty asks and all she could get out was,

“Mountain Men.” Before falling to the ground.

* * *

 **EARTH _-_** _RAVEN_

“I can’t believe you two fought.” Octavia said to an annoyed Raven, “You never fight.”

“I know Octavia.” Raven replied, they watched what they assume was the exodus ship and Alpha station land, so they started walking to the dropship to find Clarke.

“She’s not here.” Finn said checking the inside but there was no sign of the blonde,

“She probably already went.” Wells guessed, the others agreeing.

Raven had been in a bad mood since she left Clarke earlier that day. She wasn’t mad at the blonde she understood why Clarke was mad because she was mad too. Jake and Abby might not be her birth parents, but they are the only ones who ever cared whether she ate enough or had clothes to wear. They took her in and thinking they could be dead made her sick. But no matter what Clarke is her best friend and sister, they can fight and scream at each other but that will never change.

“You and Clarke seem close.” Anya says, once again the women volunteered to lead them to the crash sights. The past couple of days Raven had gotten to know the girl and actually liked her. She was different and she could keep up with her which was something a lot of people couldn’t do.

When she told the girl, they were going to search for their people Anya jumped at the opportunity to take them. Raven didn’t know how to feel about it because she didn’t know if she was doing because she also felt their connection or if she was doing this out of duty. For now, she decided not to question it.

“We are.” Raven says, “We’re really close.”

“Like, as romantic partners?” Anya asked and Raven laughed,

“Careful Anya it almost sounds like you care.” The brunette quipped causing the girl to roll her eyes. “Clarke and I have been best friends since we were 5, her parents basically raised me so yes Clarke and I are close. We’re practically sisters.”

“I see.”

“Do you have any siblings?” Raven asks,

“No but I to grew up with someone who sort of became my sister.”

“Why haven’t I met her? Does she live in your village?”

“Not anymore, but I’m sure you’ll meet her soon.” Sooner than you think, Anya thought. “So, you say you don’t have any suitors amongst your people, but you dated the floppy haired boy. What happened with him?”

“You’re quite interested in my dating life Anya.” Raven smiled, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were interested.”

“Well what can I say Raven of the Skai people, you intrigue me.” She smirked, “But you don’t have to answer if you don’t want.”

“It’s fine, Finn and I dated for a few years back on the ark. He was pretty much my first everything and I loved him. About three years into the relationship I started to feel like maybe I didn’t love him in the way I was supposed to. No matter how much I care about him I wasn’t in love with him anymore and unknown to me he felt the same. He started getting feelings for Clarke which weren’t returned but it was a good enough reason to break up with him, so I did. I didn’t want to be with him anymore and he gave me an easy out.”

“Clarke didn’t like him at all?”

“No, honestly they barley knew each other. Clarke is from a different station so we would go there to see her, they talked a few times, but it was always friendly for Clarke. She actually hated Finn when I first introduced them, she said he was childish and stupid, and I could do better. Along the way they got along more but she never even entertained the idea of liking him, that was all Finn. So, when he confessed his feelings for her, she stayed away from him. It wasn’t until we were coming here that I seen her even look at him. She knows towards the end I wanted out of the relationship, but she still didn’t like the fact that Finn liked her. She was beyond annoyed when he volunteered to come on the mission and so was I honestly but despite that Finn is a good guy. Even if we’re not together he’s a friend and I’ll always care about him. Now tell me about your dating life.”

“There isn’t much to say, I had a partner once, but it didn’t work out.” Anya said plainly,

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be, something tells me there is someone more fit for me out there.” The girl smiled,

“Guys come look quick!” The heard Bellamy yell and they ran to catch up Anya drawing her sword just in case.

When they reached the crash site Raven gasped, there were bodies laying everywhere but the ship was intact.

“Are they… dead?” Octavia asks seeing all the bodies,

“That’s Monty’s mom.” Raven went over to one of the bodies Anya close behind, “Mrs. Green?”

Raven lightly shook the women hoping she was injured or worse, finally the woman’s eyes fluttered open.

“Mrs green?”

“Raven?”

“Yes, it’s me.” Raven smiled, “Come on, let’s sit up.” She helped the women sit up giving her water from her tin. “What happened here?”

“I- we landed fine and everything was well.” Mrs green said rubbing her head, “A few people took off not long after we landed but Clarke showed up to help. We were preparing for her to take us back to your ship when this smoke cam out of nowhere.”

Raven felt her stomach tighten when she saw Anya’s face, the mountain men struck again. Wait did she say Clarke?”

“Clarke was here?” Raven asked,

“She was and-.” The woman paused, “Wait where is my son? Where is Monty? Do you see him, he was right here before I passed out.”

“Raven.”

“I know.” She said barley above a whisper, “They took them.”

“Who?” the woman asked frantically,

“The mountain men.” Anya answered the woman who looked at her confused,

“You said Clarke was here?” Raven said to the woman, “Did she leave before the fog started?” Please say yes, please say yes,

“No, we were all preparing to leave when it started.”

Raven was sure she couldn’t breathe, or she had already stopped breathing. It was bad enough Abby and Jake were taken but Clarke too. They took everyone from her, and she didn’t know if they were alive or worse. She had no plan or recuse mission; the grounders were scared of them and they’re freaking warriors. What the hell was she supposed to do.

“Raven we’ll get her back.” Bellamy said, “All of them.”

“How?” Raven yelled, “What the hell can we do?”

“We’ll get them back Raven.” Murphy added, “We’ll find a way.”

This isn’t happening she thought, there was no way this was happening right now. She couldn’t sit and listen about how they were going to save people when they were powerless. They had no weapons or anything, they had nothing. Clarke was gone and the last time she saw her they fought, and she can’t have that be it. It couldn’t be it.

“Raven.” Anya murmured to the girl, “Raven.”

“What?” she looked up wiping her tears,

“Your people are going back to your contraption to use something called the radio to contact your leader.” Anya said and Raven couldn’t even acknowledge how cute it was that she was so clueless about simple technology,

Raven looked around at the other people starting to wake up now that the effects of whatever was the canister is wearing off. She recognized some people but not enough to forget that her real family was taken from her.

The walk to the dropship was silent and all Raven could think was the people she loved could be dead right now. They could be gone, and she was still here.

Bellamy and Wells started trying to figure out how many were taken while Octavia, Finn and Murphy got everyone water and food.

“Anya, Heda has arrived. She expected you to greet her.” One of the warriors said to Anya who hadn’t left the girls side since she found out Clarke was taken.

“I’ll be there when I can.” She replied,

“Heda?” Raven asked,

“The commander.”

“Oh, you should be going then.”

“I don- I can stay for a while.” Anya said,

“You’ve done enough for us already Anya and I appreciate it, but you have your own people to worry about and from what I’ve heard the commander isn’t someone you let wait around.” Raven didn’t want her to go but she understood that she needed to.

“You’re welcome to come back to the village tonight if you want.”

“Do you want that?” Raven asked looking at the girl’s dark eyes searching for anything, any tiny hint that this isn’t all in her head. That Anya feels what she feels too.

“I’m starting to realize that maybe I do.” She said hesitantly,

“As much as I want to, I need to find Kane and start forming a plan to kill everyone in that dumbass mountain.”

“Your idea sounds intriguing, but the mountain has been around a long time, no one has been able to defeat them.”

“They’re not me and I’m not giving up.” Raven said, “I hope we meet again.”

“We will.” She smiled, taking in the brunette one last time before joining her guard to go back to TonDC. She decided to leave one of her guards behind just to keep watch incase anything else happened.

* * *

**MOUNT WEATHER**

Clarke wasn’t sure where she was or what was happening, all she knew was that she woke up in a white room with an IV in her arm. She remembered the smoke bomb going off but nothing after that.

After ripping the needle out of her arm, she went to the door and shook the handle, obviously it would be locked but she had to try. There was a small glass window but all she could see were a row of identical looking doors down a white hall.

Maybe she died and this was hell, although would hell be so white?

There was nothing in the room besides a small bed and the IV drip, no other door or exits just a vent. If this was mount weather as she suspects then she needed to keep her guard up, these people were dangerous and maybe these white room are where they turn people into reapers or worse. Her mind was running wild with ideas, she hoped her parents were ok, that it wasn’t to late to save them. Even if it wasn’t, she was in here too now, so now they all needed saved. She knew Raven wouldn’t easily give up getting them back. Even if their last words to each other weren’t the best they were family and Raven would fight to get them out of her.

She decided the best thing she could do is to wait for the door to open, it was actually the only thing she could do. Fortunately, she wouldn’t have to wait long, she heard keys jingle and the door swing open revealing an older man maybe 60 with pure white hair and a suit on. He was smiling but something about it made Clarke uncomfortable.

“You must be Clarke.” He smiled,

“How do you know that?”

“Your parents told me of course.” What? Clarke thought,

“Where are they? I want to see them.”

“Of course, first how about a tour.”

“No, I want to see my parents and get the hell out of here.” Clarke demanded, she would admit this isn’t what she was expecting but she doesn’t know this man and she’s not going anywhere with him.

“Clarke, I promise you don’t need to be afraid; no one here is going to hurt you.”

“Why would I believe that you kidnap us and bring us here against our will and not to mention what you do to the grounders.”

“I understand your confusion, but this is a safe place, the savages out there are the dangerous one.” The man says seriously, “If you come with me, I will explain.”

Like she even had a choice, nothing mattered as long as her parents were safe and alive. Once she found them, they could get the hell out of there.

“Fine.” The blonde said exiting the room.

“My name is Dante Wallace, I’m the president of Mount weather.” He said smiling, “I’m sure you’ve heard many things about us from the savages, but I can assure you none of it is true. The citizens here in the mountain have been here since the bombs went off a hundred years ago and the people you call grounders have been tormenting us ever since.”

“You turn there people into reapers.” Clarke said matter of factly causing the man to stop walking,

“We only do that if the savages attack us first.”

“So why kidnap us?”

“We were trying to save your people.” Dante says, “Those people out there are dangerous Clarke. They don’t care about you and as soon as the opportunity arrives, they will turn there backs on you and kill you.”

“If that’s true why not come talk to us instead of knocking us out and bringing us here?”

“Unlike the savages we cannot go outside, to you the air may seem normal, but the radiation levels are still very high. The savages had natural selection and your people were born in space, so the radiation levels down here don’t affect you. If we leave the mountain, we have to wear our suits and oxygen masks.”

Clarke took note of the fact that they can’t leave the mountain, it’s a good advantage to have when she gets out of here.

“So, you took us because you wanted to help us?” Clarke asked and the president smiles,

“Yes, I think our people could coexist beautify Clarke and hopefully throughout your stay here you will think the same.”

Before Clarke could reply she heard her name and running towards her, when she turned, she saw them.

“Oh my god.” Clarke cried sinking into her mom’s arms, “I was so worried when Kane said he sent you down here.”

“We’re fine.”

“I’m so happy to see you kid.” Jake smiled throwing his arms around the girl,

“You too dad.”

“Where’s Raven?” Abby asks looking around franticly,

“She wasn’t with me.” Clarke murmurs,

“Well, where is she?” Jake asks,

“I-.” Clarke didn’t know how much to say and what not to say especially in front of The President. She knew Raven and the others were safe with Anya no matter how much the president tries to dehumanize the grounders. “I don’t know, I went to look for the exodus ship and then I woke up here.”

“Abby, Jake why don’t you show Clarke to your room.” Dante interrupted, “I’m sure you want to catch up and clean up before dinner.”

“absolutely.” Abby smiled at the man clearly, they were buying into what mount weather was selling,

“Thank you, Mr. President.” Clarke smiled, might as well draw any suspicion away from her. Maybe he’ll actually believe she’s grateful to be here.

“It’s my pleasure Clarke, I’m sure we’ll talk soon.” The man smiled again before walking off.

* * *

 **EARTH** - _LEXA_

It had been a couple of days since Lexa sent word to Anya informing her, she would be there, and she finally arrived. With Azgeda being a constant threat, she doesn’t get to travel often so she hasn’t been back in her home village in a while.

She expected Anya to be here to greet her but apparently, she was with the famously talked about Skai people. After sending word for her to return she entered the woman’s home and went to her usual room. She got rid of all of her swords and knives and sat on the bed.

Being in this room reminded her of the other reason she doesn’t travel here often, it held too many memories. Memories that she refused to let herself relive, there was no use now.

“You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?”

Lexa knew it was Anya before she even turned around, she was the only person who knew Lexa enough to know what’s going on in her head. She found it quite annoying actually especially at times like this.

“I expected you to be here when I arrived.” Lexa said, her Commander masks intact.

“I’m sorry Heda, I came as soon as Ryder told me you were here.”

“What Is the latest on the Skai people?” Lexa asks, “Will they be a threat, should we prepare for war?”

“My experience with them hasn’t been violent.” Anya says truthfully, “From what I’ve learned they lived in space, but their home was dying so they came here.”

“You seem to have taken a liking to them.”

“I don’t know if I would say that.” Anya mumbled,

“Why have you helped them so much then?” Lexa asks, “You give them food, a place to stay and apparently you’re even their tour guide. So why?”

“Their leader Clarke saved Lincoln, he was a reaper and she brought him back.”

“Impossible.”

“It’s true, I was there and not to mention she also saved my life from the mountain men.”

“I know it’s been a few months since I’ve seen you, but I didn’t realize you turned into a damsel.” Lexa smiled slightly, “Since when do you need saving?”

“It was a rare occurrence, but she saved me I felt it was the least I could do giving them somewhere to rest.”

“No, there’s something more.” Lexa looked at the girl she’s known since she was a child, she was hiding something.

“They interest me.” Anya shrugged,

“They or this leader who saved you?”

“Clarke? No.” Anya said quickly,

“Well then one of the other ones.”

Anya huffed walking over to the bed and sitting down, she could never get much past Lexa so why try and start now?

“Raven.” She said quietly, “Her name is Raven.”

“And you like her?”

Anya looked up at the green eyes expecting a hard-stone-cold commander look but instead she just saw Lexa. Her Lexa the one before the burdens of the commander became her life.

“She’s… different and not just because she comes from the sky.” Anya sighed, “I think I do like her.”

Lexa smile sitting next to the girl on the bed,

“I haven’t seen you interested in anyone in a very long time _strisis_.”

“I know.” She groaned, “I’m not used to this.”

“I have to meet this Raven, she has you very smitten.”

“I don’t get smitten.” She glared,

“Either way, I must meet these Skai people. We have much to discuss, I’ll send for this Clarke so we can meet.”

Anya sighed standing from the bed,

“You won’t be talking to Clarke anytime soon.”

“Why?” Lexa asked looking at the women,

“She was taken by the mountain.”

Lexa knew what that meant, she was probably dead or worse. Many had been lost to the mountain over the decades. Besides themselves the mountain was their biggest enemy and for a while it was their only common foe.

Now with the clans united Lexa wanted nothing more than to defeat the mountain for good. The coalition was almost solid and without any outside threats it could flourish and bloom the way she wanted. But no one’s ever been able to defeat the mountain. They had technology and weapons they could never dream of defeating.

“And I don’t think Clarke is their leader, from what I heard Raven say someone called Kane is.”

“Then we must meet with this Kane, they can’t just assume they can live on my lands without asking me first.”

“I’ll send riders to inform them.” Anya said before exiting the room leaving Lexa to her thoughts.

Never in her 23 years did she ever imagine she would meet people who come from the sky, cure reapers and make one of the toughest warriors she knows weak at the knees. A pity about this Clarke, she would’ve liked to meet the person who saved said warrior, but she’s lost to the mountain now.


	5. Family Ties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold in " " means they are talking in Trigedasleng!

**MOUNT WEATHER**

It was dinner time in the mountain and Clarke had no clue how to feel about anything that was happening. Seeing these people sitting and eating as if it’s the most normal thing is unnerving.

Unnerving because despite what the president says and what her parents think she knows something is not right here. Everything seems way to perfect and the way their leader brushed off them creating reapers didn’t sit right with her.

There was something she didn’t know, something between the lines she just couldn’t see it yet.

At dinner she was reunited with Monty and Jasper who actually seem to be enjoying there time here, that could be due to the fact that Jasper found a girl to flirt with and Monty loved the chocolate cake. None of her people seemed bothered to be here, even though they were basically kidnapped.

None of this was right, she needed to find a way out of here.

Back in her parents’ room she found a map of the mountain, but it didn’t tell her much except for the fact that there were no exits on it. Why they would even give maps out is beyond her but that was a red flag. 

Then when she asked her parents why they hadn’t asked to leave to find her and Raven they said Mount weather hadn’t seen the pod the 7 of them came down in. Which obviously was a lie because she killed one of them the same night. That information told her they didn’t want them to leave. Obviously but why is the bigger question.

“Clarke honey eat.” Abby said taking the girl out of her thoughts,

“I’m not really hungry.” Clarke sighed, “I can’t even think straight not knowing where Raven and the others are.” Clarke obviously knew where they were, but she also knew the president who was sitting a table over was staring at her and possibly listening.

“I know sweetie, we’re worried too.” Abby said,

“Ravens probably worried sick.” Jake sighed, “Where did you say she was?”

“We got split up searching for the exodus ship so I’m not sure.”

“I’m sure they’re all fine.” Abby said, “We have to think the best.”

“Still, until I know for sure I’m going to worry.” The blonde sighed,

“How about I ask the president if he knows anything?” Jake proposed, “Surely he would know.”

“Would you dad?”

“Of course, kid.”

She looked down at her food sneaking glances at the president who was whispering something in one of the guard’s ears before going back to his food. He took the bait.

After dinner Clarke and her parents waited for the dining hall to clear out before approaching the president. Clarke put her best worried face on and queued up her acting skills.

“Mr. President, we were wondering if you had a moment?” Jake said as they walked up to the man’s seat.

“Absolutely, what can I do for you?” He asked, his creepy smile planted on his face.

“We were wondering what the status was on our other people.” Jake started, “Beside Clarke we also have Raven who is family and we’re all worried about her.”

Dante sighed, “I’ve been trying to figure out how to discuss this with you throughout dinner, but we got some news from our ground team. There were several ships that landed today but unfortunately there were only survivors found were from the people we brought in today including Clarke.”

Clarke could here her parent sigh and gasp, but she didn’t believe a word this man was saying. She saw Alpha land and if there were any issues or crashes, she would’ve seen smoke or fire, but she didn’t.

“What about my friends?” Clarke asked, “The ones I came down with.”

“There were bodies found near your pod as well, we think the savages killed them not longer after we found you.” Dante sighed as if this was the worst news he’s ever given,

“No.” Abby gasped chocking back a cry,

“Are you sure?” Clarke asked trying to sound as distraught as she can.

“I’m sorry, I know this isn’t news you hoped for but if anything, I hope it makes you realize how dangerous the savages really are.”

There was only so much Clarke could entertain for the sake of getting information and this was going on for too long. She knew everything the man said was a lie, but her parents didn’t, and they truly think Raven, and everyone is dead.

When they got back to their room Clarke made sure to turn the radio up that sat on the desk before talking to her parents.

“He’s lying.” Clarke whispered to them, “I saw Alpha station land there was no rough landing or puff of smoke and Raven is fine.”

“Clarke what are you talking about?” Abby asked,

“Shh, they could be listening. I know it sounds crazy but he’s lying and somethings not right here. The grounders haven’t been violent to us once, but I can’t say the same for the people in this mountain. I had to kill one on our first night on earth.”

“You killed someone?!” Abby gasped and Clarke rolled her eyes,

“They had guns mom, I know you think this place is great, but something is wrong and they’re lying to us.”

“But why would they do that Clarke?” Jake asks, looking at her parents she knew they didn’t believe her.

“I don’t know.” She sighed, “But I’m going to find out.”

“Clarke, I know you’re upset about Raven and your friends we are too but going around sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong won’t solve anything.” Abby sighed,

“If you don’t believe me just say that.”

“Clarke we’re not saying we don’t believe you we’re saying causing trouble here may not be a good idea. Especially if they truly are the dangerous ones in the situation.”

“So, we sit around and live happily ever after here?”

“I’m not saying that.”

There was no use for the back and forth, she needed proof and she was going to get it. She was going to prove this place wasn’t right, she just needed to figure out why.

* * *

**EARTH-RAVEN**

It had been a couple of hours since they found The Ark citizens on the exodus ship and Raven contacted Kane. He gave them coordinates of where Alpha station landed and they were headed there now. She didn’t want to just leave without seeing Anya first, but they didn’t have a choice. They needed a plan and quick, so she left a message with the guard she left behind with the coordinates and led their people there.

The walk was agonizing for Raven because all she would hear was everyone talking about how amazing Earth was, but she couldn’t enjoy any of it. She refused to, until her family was by her side, she couldn’t think about anything else.

She had taken the lead walking further ahead of the group just to avoid conversation, but the Blake siblings took the liberty of joining her.

“Rae?” Octavia said,

“What?”

“When you talked to Kane did, he say anything?” Octavia asked hesitantly, “Anything about... her?”

“No, but he promised Clarke he would keep his end of the deal.”

“Do we even trust that?” Bellamy sighed,

“I don’t trust any Ark council member, but we don’t have a choice but to hope he honored the deal.” Raven said, for his sake she hopes he did

“What did Clarke even have to do?” Octavia asked, “She wouldn’t tell me.”

Raven sighed thinking about the deal Clarke made with Kane, on the outside it was innocent enough, but it was messy and disgusting when you knew the details. Details Kane probably doesn’t even know and if she finds out Clarke did what she did without the man keeping up his part, she was going to kill him.

“Clarke should tell you that.”

“It was bad wasn’t it?” O asked,

You have no fucking idea, Raven thought.

“It doesn’t matter O, she saved you and that’s all that matters.” Raven said firmly hoping the girl wouldn’t question her more and she didn’t.

After hours of walking and breaking they finally made it to the location and Raven was in awe. The station had fallen in what looked like the perfect position with little to no damage.

Admiring metal was the last thing on her mind though, she made her way to the sea of people that were outside her eyes looking for Kane. They needed to talk **now**.

After ordering the others to make sure the people they brought were ok she made her way inside where low and behold the Chancellor was. She could see he was meeting with the council, but she didn’t care.

“Kane.”

“Raven.” He smiled, “It’s good to see you, is everyone here?”

“Yes, I need to talk to you.”

“I’ll be out in a moment.”

“No, right now.” She demanded, causing the man to stare at her then nod ushering them to a private room.

“I know you’re worried about Clarke and the others Raven but you can’t just boss me around.”

“When are we attacking?” She asked,

“Raven from what you’ve said the Mountain Men aren’t just someone we can easily knock down we need to plan.”

“Ok then let’s plan.”

“We will but first we need to get our people settled and find food and supplies.”

“Unbelievable.” She laughed, “Why am I not surprised this isn’t a priority for you? What did you get all you needed from Clarke so now you don’t care if she dies? You have no clue what she went through to do what you asked. What about Jake and Abby do they even know what you had her do?"

“It is a priority Raven but so is making sure our people can survive past today.” Kane sighed,

“Chancellor Kane.” A guard called from the door, “Jaha is requesting to see you.”

Raven shouldn’t have been surprised Jaha was amongst the people who survived, if anyone should be taken by the mountain it’s him.

Kane nodded sending the guard away before turning back to Raven,

“We’ll get our people back Raven, but we need to figure out how to do it, just give me the day to get everyone settled.”

She knew that was a reasonable request, but her anger didn’t understand that. Her anger wanted them to march up to wherever this damn mountain was and burn it down after getting her family back.

“Where is she?” Raven asked, she knew he would know what she meant and by the look on his face he either didn’t honor the deal or something worse.

“I sent her down with Abby and Jake.” He sighed and Raven wanted to kill him even more,

“So, she’s in the Mountain too?”

* * *

**MOUNT WEATHER**

It had been two days since Clarke arrived in Mount Weather and she still had no plan. Her parents didn’t believe a word she was saying and all she could do is watch as they grieve people who she knew weren’t dead. They couldn’t be.

She did however learn something new from Jaspers friend Maya about the containment system. After innocently wondering how they deal with power outages during storms or harsh weather she learned they have a back up generator. Which ruined her plan of finding a way to cut the power so the oxygen generators wouldn’t work. It was a harsh plan seeing as it would kill them all but desperate times.

The only other idea she had was to befriend Maya and learn as much as she could which is why she was currently walking the halls with the girl. She felt a little bad because Maya was a genuinely nice person, but she needed as much information as she could get.

“So how was life growing up stuck in these walls?” Clarke asked,

“It sucks knowing there is a whole world out there that we will never get to see but this is also all we know.”

“I understand that, growing up on the Ark could feel constricting.”

“I’m sure the view was great though.” Maya smiled,

“Probably the only good thing about it.” She said honestly, the ark was barley a home more… a prison in a sense.

As they continued their walk an ear bleeding alarm went off signaling something she didn’t understand but Maya seemed to know.

“What is that for?”

“Emergency in medical, I have to go. Maybe we can hangout later?” Maya asked,

“Sure.” Clarke smiled watching the girl run towards the medical wing and on a whim, she decided to follow.

She stayed behind the corner but still had enough room to see what was happening. Someone was definitely hurt, man and he had their hazmat suit on, but she could see burns on his skin. Radiation she assumed; he must’ve gotten a tear in his suit.

“Status?” she heard Maya asks as they wheeled the man down the hall,

“Breech in the suit due to gun shot wound.”

Gun shot? She hadn’t been around the grounders long, but she knew they didn’t use guns. Which could only mean one thing, her people shot him.

She made her way back to her room to figure out her next move, they needed to go soon but there was no way all three of them could sneak out of here together.

When she was back in the room, she found the folder containing the maps out mount weather memorizing everything she could. Her parents clearly weren’t going to believe her without out solid proof. Saying she saw someone with a gunshot wound wasn’t enough.

After spending hours looking through the maps and searing them into her brain it was time for dinner. If it were up to her she would skip it all together, but she had appearances to upkeep. She couldn’t let the president, or his son think something was up.

So, after changing she made her way to the dining hall passing a few of the other Arkers waving and smiling. She found the table her parents were at and sat with them smiling slightly making small talk.

Honestly, her mind was every where and when she saw a man enter the dining hall, she was sure she was hallucinating. But after staring for what felt like years, she knew it was real. She was looking at the same man she saw wounded with radiation burns and a gunshot wound not even 4 hours ago. Except now he looked perfect, not a burn or scratch on his body. It was impossible to recover that quickly from any injuries that severe.

“Clarke what’s wrong honey?” Abby asked the girl who was still staring at the man,

“What?” She asked, “Nothing, I just zoned out.”

After dinner Clarke made her way back to her room wondering what she should do next. Obviously, she needed to escape but it was impossible, there were no exits without armed guards and leaving voluntarily isn’t an option.

She also needed to figure out what kind of magic they have in the medical department because whatever it is isn’t normal. The only way she could even get near medical is if she was injured so she formed her next plan.

When she was safe in her room, she wrote a quick note for her parents hiding it in her dad’s pants pocket. She knew they wouldn’t believe her and even if they did, she couldn’t get them all out, she needed help which meant she needed to get to Kane.

“Let’s pray this scar isn’t ugly.” She whispered to herself, taking a sharp piece of glass she broke from a picture frame and slicing down her arm. Her medical training helped her avoid any important arteries, but it was enough to make her bleed. She saw the door opening right before the blackness took over everything.

The next time she opened her eyes she was in an unfamiliar room, but she could assume it was where they kept patients. The walls were decorated with pipes and small circle shaped windows. Her arm was bandaged, and the IV drip was back, she quickly ripped it out before sitting up from the bed. That’s when she noticed she wasn’t alone, looking over she saw a couple other patients sleep in their beds.

She knew it was probably her parents who found her, and she felt terrible because she knew they’d be worried, but this was the only way. Sure, somewhere deep in her mind a better less dangerous plan could possibly be waiting for her to discover but time was wasting away. Days had already passed since she’s been in this place and that was too long.

She made her way over to the other occupants of the room, the first being an older women. She didn’t look ill or injured but she did have tubes connected to her chest running into the walls. The substance in the tubes was a mystery but the dark red liquid very much resembled blood.

Moving on to the next patient she noticed this one had small burns and patches adorning his skin. Radiation burns. He too had the tubes coming out of his chest and because his hospital gown hung lower, she could see the small metal piece on his chest that the tubes were connecting to. After following the direction of the tubes, she saw the pipe that was suppling the liquid led to a door. As expected, the door was a no go so, she went for the vent. Surprisingly, it wasn’t that hard and in minutes she had it open all she had to see was where it leads.

As she climbed through the thought hit her for the first time that she could be crawling straight to the president’s office or the dining area and not the source of the mysterious liquid. She had no clue what was waiting on the other side and when she got there her stomach dropped instantly.

From the beginning she knew Mount Weather wasn’t what it seemed, that no matter what they said or did underneath it all they had nefarious intentions. But never, ever did she imagine this but now that she is seeing it, it made sense.

It made sense how the man from earlier had a miraculous recovery and how they treated radiation burns. It was blood transfusion, an innocent enough medical procedure but from the two grounders hanging upside down, their blood draining into a machine it obviously wasn’t voluntary. They were unclothed only medical bandages giving them any sort of coverage, and Clarke was sure they were dead or almost there. There was nothing she could do for them, so she decided to tread on being stunned by her next sight. Cages, lots of them filled to the brim with what she could assume were grounders.

The more she walked she heard moaning and groaning form every direction, she wanted to assure them. She wanted to scream that she would be back with an army to free them all, but she couldn’t do that. There was no assurance she would even make it out of here alive let alone hundreds of others.

She walked carefully through the sea of cages avoiding hands reaching for her and pleas for help. Half of them looked like they were on the brink of death barley able to sit upright in their cages. She felt sick at the thought of people being able to do this to other humans. The people here who live in this mountain weren’t human, they were monsters and Clarke would make sure everyone of them got what they deserve.

The cages ended and she noticed a door reading ‘End Containment Area’, surprisingly it opened revealing a rusted room with nothing in it. But she had nothing to lose, just as she was stepping through the entrance, she heard a voice. Not just a voice, a voice she knew, and they were saying her name.

She left the door opening walking back to the cages trying to follow but the voice was low, then she heard it again. Slowly she bent down to the bottom cage revealing the source, shocking Clarke.

“Aurora?”

* * *

**EARTH** _-LEXA_

It had been a day since Lexa had arrived in TonDC and she wasn’t enjoying her stay much at all. This was her home village and she loved it beyond words but the memories it held made it unbearable at times. It was very good at reminding her what she’s lost, rather who she’s lost. It would remind her how she met the love of her life sitting outside of this very house. Or how she learned the girl with crazy brown curls and wild hazel eyes name was Costia by making Anya ask her because she was shy. She would look at the purple flowers and remember how they were always Costia’s favorites. Then she would think how she lost Costia and none of the good memories are good anymore because she’s not here to re-live them with.

Visiting her home would send her down a deep spiral and as Commander that was something she couldn’t afford. Luckily among her skillset was expertly pushing down her emotions and putting on her mask.

Just as she felt that mask melting away, she heard ringing sound in the distance causing commotion outside. Quickly she grabbed her sword and ran down the stairs exiting the home.

People were gathered everywhere, and whispers and gasps filled the air.

“ **Gustus, what has happened?** ” Lexa turned to her most trusted guard,

“ **An attack Heda,”** He answered,

“ **Details?”**

“ **Not many Heda**.”

Lexa clenched her jaw searching the crowd for Anya who she found rushing towards her. From her look she knew this wouldn’t be good news, so she silently slipped her mask back on preparing to deal with whatever the girl was about to say.

“ **What is it Anya?”**

 **“An attack in the next village.”** Anya answered,

 **“Azgeda?”** She asked and the girl shook her head.

**“It appears to be Skaikru.”**


	6. Power Imbalance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for all mistakes i suck:)

_10 hours before the attack_

**ARKADIA**

Raven had given Kane the time he asked for, not that she had much choice but still. Instead she tried to fill her time helping establish power and electricity in the fence they were building. It was a good distraction, and she was helping speed up the process of getting their people settled.

Despite the obvious gap in missing people and Mecca station still not making contact everyone was settling fine. They found a water source and started rationing supplies similar to how they did on the ark. Until they learned how to hunt and kill animals like the grounders, they needed to space out their supplies.

Raven was also trying to keep busy to avoid question from the Blake siblings about her talk with Kane. They obviously weren’t going to like the news and she didn’t want to be the one to deliver it, unfortunately for her luck was not on her side.

“There you are.” Octavia huffed sitting next to the girl by the wired fence, “You’re fixing this place up pretty quick.”

“Don’t ever doubt my skills little Blake.” Raven smiled as the girl groaned,

“You know I hate that nickname.”

“I do.”

“Do you think Anya will come here?” The girl asks, “I know you told her guard where we were traveling to.”

“Don’t pretend you aren’t just curious to know if Lincoln will be making an appearance.” She smirked, during the time Octavia spent back in TonDC while the other went searching for the griffins Octavia had taken a liking to the sick Lincoln. “Miss playing nurse already?”

“Oh, bite me Reyes.”

“No thanks, but I’m sure Lincoln would love to!” she laughed, “Seriously though you seem to like him.”

“Well seeing as he’s the first boy I’ve ever talked to besides, you guys it’s all pretty new to me.” She blushed, “Lincolns incredibly sweet and caring, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to see him again. What about you, I know you and Anya have something going on.”

“Not really.” She sighed, “I think I like her, but she seems to have a lot going on I mean she’s the leader of a whole village.”

“Technically she’s co-leader, a women named Elena is the leader, but she travels often.” Octavia said, Raven giving her a look. “Lincoln told me.”

“Well either way, she’s probably not interested and the only thing I care about right now is getting our family back. I can’t think past that goal.”

That sat in silence for a few minutes mostly due to Octavia trying to figure out if she wants to ask her next question finally deciding to just bite the bullet.

“I want you to know that I’m a lot stronger than any of you might think.” Octavia said, “I know you guys try and protect me from everything, but you can’t always do that. So, if Kane left her on the ark or floated her just tell me now because I know she’s not here.”

Raven sighed heavily running her hands through her hair,

“He didn’t float her or leave her on the ark, he sent her down with Abby and Jake.”

Octavia smiled before realizing what that meant, “They’re all in the mountain.”

Raven nodded,

“Ok, then it’s just one more person we have to save.”

Raven looked at the girl and for the first time she realized Octavia was far from a damsel or a helpless little girl. She wasn’t the same 8-year-old girl she met when Clarke dragged her to factory station for a ‘surprise’. She was almost an adult and she was happy to have her by her side especially when everything was falling apart.

“We’ll get them back Raven.”

“I know.”

The two girls sat a little longer enjoying each other presence before going back to the real world. Octavia volunteered to talk to Bell about what they discussed while Raven decided to find Kane.

The inside of the Ark was eerily quiet as she made her way to the Chancellors chambers. She hated being back in this stupid tin can and she couldn’t wait to get Clarke back so they could do what they planned when they first decided to come to earth.

Neither of them was too keen on living under the Arks rules and especially the leadership. Even though Kane wasn’t a bad guy or a malicious leader they both knew how far he was willing to go to keep his position. He proved that when he made the deal with Clarke. So, after they contacted the ark, they planned on disconnecting from them finding their own home on earth only keeping contact with Abby and Jake and their friends. Clearly life had different plans for them.

When she reached Kane’s designated office, she saw he wasn’t alone, in the room was one Thelonious Jaha. Everyone’s least favorite Chancellor. Raven had her own gripes with the man that were completely personal but after a certain string of events she wanted nothing more than for the man to die a painful death.

Jaha wasn’t a good man and it completely baffles her how he created someone as amazing as Wells. Wells is one of the most kind, compassionate guys she’s ever known so to know his father is a cold-hearted snake is perplexing.

She decided their conversation wasn’t important enough to warrant privacy, so she entered the room not bothering to knock or announce herself. Instead she sat in a chair behind them drawing their attention. She hoped Kane knew better than to push her right now and from his lack of words to her she knew he did.

“As I was saying your fate is to be decided by the council, but for right now we have bigger problems to worry about.” Kane said to the man.

“This is barbaric Kane; I deserve to enjoy what the ground has to offer.” The man spat, “It’s my birth right.”

“You thinking you deserve anything is comedic at best.” Raven quipped causing the man to look at her in disgust, “Kane I need to talk with you.”

Kane nodded ushering for a guard to take Jaha back to his cell,

“You’ll regret this Kane.” Jaha warned, “Everyone in the camp will regret this.”

“No one visits him, I’ll bring his food and water.” Kane said to the guard who nodded before taking the man. “What is It Raven?”

“The fence is built; the electricity should be done by tonight I have to get into the wiring under the station, but it won’t take long.”

“That’s great.”

“Now you need to tell me what you have planned for the mountain men.”

Kane sighed before sitting across from the girl,

“Until I know what we’re dealing with there isn’t much to do, I was hoping you could set up a meeting with the grounders that helped you. Maybe they can give us some insight on these people.”

“I can contact Anya; their commander is in her village.” Raven nodded,

“Good, we’ll start there. I’m sending a team out tomorrow to find an old supply depot not far from here. According to the records it should be stocked with supplies including weapons. Once we figure out what we’re dealing with we’ll start planning our attack.”

“Maybe the grounders will help us.” Raven said, “They have lost many people to the mountain too, maybe they would be open to an alliance.”

“You can get the message to their leader?”

“Yes.” She nodded,

“Ok, get it done and hopefully we can set up a meeting.”

Raven practically ran out the ark searching for Bellamy and Wells, for the first time in days she actually had some sort of plan and it felt good. Hopefully, the grounders would be willing to align with them so they could take down the mountain for good.

“Bell.” She yelled getting the boys attention, “I need you and Wells to do something.”

“What’s up?”

“I need someone to go to TonDC and give Anya a message, Kane wants to set up a meeting with her to discuss an alliance. We need their help to get our people back, they know more about our enemy than we do, and you and Wells know your way back.”

“I’ll grab Wells and we’ll leave now.” Bellamy said,

“Be quick and be safe.” She said hugging the boy before returning to her earlier tasks.

The wires in Alpha station were a mess, it took her almost three hours just to untangle them all before she could do any real work. By the time she was done it was mid-day and Bellamy and Wells had been gone for a few hours. If her calculations were right, they would be arriving to the village soon.

She gave them a radio to keep in contact, but they had yet to use it which meant nothing had gone wrong.

After gathering all her tools and materials she made her way back into the Ark stopping when she heard yelling. The guards were running around frantic chasing someone she couldn’t see. It wasn’t long until she heard gunshots but not from the guards, from none other than Jaha himself.

Somehow this idiot got his hands on a gun let alone out of his damn cell, her confusion settled when she saw a group of dumbasses surrounding the man shooting at the guards trying to apprehend him. Of course, he had loyal follows just as diluted as him.

People were running everywhere, and she scanned the area for Kane but couldn’t find him. She helped people get inside avoiding stray bullets as they ran. The Ark guards were still trying to get Jaha, but his followers weren’t letting them anywhere near. When they got close enough to the gate, she saw Jaha run out his people not far behind.

When the sound of gunshots finally stopped Raven ran to check on the injured, as far as she could see no one was dead but there were at least twenty people injured.

Slowly she made her way through the people making sure their injuries weren’t fatal but most of the were. As wild as the shots were, she was surprised more people didn’t get hit.

* * *

Hours after the attack Raven and Octavia were helping the remaining doctors from the ark take care of their wounded. So far 5 people had died including one child who was playing outside during Jaha’s escape. Another one of the injured was Murphy who had been shot in the leg while helping people inside.

Raven was pissed when she saw him amongst the injured, Murphy was family and Jaha could’ve killed him today. She wanted him dead, he deserved to be dead more than anyone especially after this.

“Jackson says the remaining fifteen should be ok besides scaring and pain.” Octavia said to the older girl who nodded.

“I’m going to check on Murphy.”

Raven made her way over to the boy who rolled his eyes at the sight of her, granted this was her fourth visit in twenty minutes but she was worried.

“Still fine doctor mechanic.” He groaned leaning back on the makeshift cot,

“I’m going to kill him.” She murmured,

“Not if I do first.” Murphy said sporting a small smile,

Before she could reply she heard the crackling of the radio coming from the table near the boy. She quickly grabbed it adjusting the tune until she heard the voice clearly.

“Raven, this is Bellamy do you copy?”

“Bell what’s going on? Is everything alright I expected you to arrive earlier.”

“We did.” He sighed, “There was a road bump.”

“Get out with it.”

“Jaha and a group of people attacked a grounder village close to TonDC. They caught everyone but Jaha. Raven they think this was an attack from all of us. The commander is not happy.”

“Fuck!” Raven yelled flipping over a chair, the list of things Jaha can ruin just keeps getting longer. “Where are you?”

“We’re still in TonDC, and sort of prisoners. Anya allowed me to radio you but I’m trying to explain this wasn’t us. The commander wants to meet with Kane, we’ll be in Arkadia by tomorrow.”

“Raven?” she heard a familiar voice say and her heart melted,

“Anya, I-.”

“We’ll be arriving by afternoon tomorrow; I have to take this from them, so you won’t be able to contact them.” The girl said turning it off before Raven could reply. She understood why the girl was being cold, but it still hurt.

“Great, we’re all going to die.” Murphy sighed,

* * *

**MOUNT WEATHER**

Clarke carefully helped the women out of the cramped cage still not believing what she was seeing.

“How are you here?” She asked the women,

“I don’t know, I was in my cell one day then on a ship another with your parents.” The women answered,

“That wasn-.” Clarke sighed feeling her anger rise once again at the fact that Kane couldn’t stick to the plan.

This was not how it was supposed to be, when she made the deal with Kane, he promised to have Aurora put in the sky box instead of having her floated. Then when they confirmed earth was survivable, she was to come down on the exodus ship. Clearly Kane didn’t stick by that deal.

“Wait, if you came down here with my parents why aren’t you up there with them?”

“When we landed, we were immediately knocked out by those men in the white suits. I don’t remember much but I remember being brought in here with a huge group of Arkers.”

Clarke looked around the cages once more not even thinking that some of her people could be in them. Truthfully, it made the situation clearer, she asked her parents why not all 300 of them were in the mountain but according to them they had died during landing. Obviously more lies from Dante.

“What did they do to you?” Clarke asked her to examine the bandages and bruises that littered her body,

“All they do is take blood, they take and take from all of us.” She saw the women’s eyes fill with tears,

“It’s ok, I’m going to get us out of here.” Clarke started to push the women towards the door she found when she felt a hand tug on her shirt sleeve.

When she looked back, she saw a dark-skinned women with dim eyes and wild hair staring back at her.

“Please.” She groaned, “Help me.”

“I promise I’m going to get you out of here, I’ll be back with an army and guns and I’ll kill everyone in this mountain.” The blonde whispered to the girl, “I swear it.”

The girl stared back at her for a minute before slowly nodding her head and letting her grip on the shirt go.

“Stay strong and hold on ok, I promise you will see the outside of this place again.”

Clarke quickly grabbed Aurora before heading towards the door closing it once they were completely inside. A loud beeping started before Clarke felt the floor disappear from under her. The next thing she remembers is screaming until her body slammed against something hard.

Opening her eyes, she saw the dead bodied that cushioned their fall and she almost puked. Looking over she saw Aurora wasn’t doing any better.

Quickly she pulled herself and the women out of the cart, grabbing some clothes for the later to put on before they keep moving.

From what she could tell they were in a cave or some sort of tunnel which meant there had to be an exit somewhere.

Once Aurora was dressed, they started their journey, it wasn’t long until the came upon and exit. The opening led to a water fall with over a 30-foot jump also adding to the fact that they can’t swim doesn’t help.

“We have to find another way.” Clarke said watching the water flow loudly below them,

“I don’t think we have a choice.” The other women said pointing to the guards running towards them. “We have to jump.”

Clarke looked at the guards who were holding guns clearly, they were supposed to kill them. She looked back at the water before turning to the women who took her hand.

“When you hit the water try to use your arms and feet to kick to the surface, don’t freak out you can drown that way.”

Clarke nodded taking one last look before stepping off the cliff and down to her possible demise.

When Clarke opened her eyes, she was underwater and for a minute she couldn’t help but notice hoe beautiful it was. Then she remembered to do what Aurora told her and she started kicking and moving until she finally reached the surface taking in a huge breathe.

The shore wasn’t too far but she still couldn’t swim, she grabbed a log floating near by so she can stay above water. Her eyes searched finding Aurora floating near by on a broken tree trunk.

After what felt like hours, they finally made it to land catching their breathe before starting their journey. Clarke had no clue where they were going but she hoped she would recognize something to at least point her to the dropship. At least from there she could plan her next move.

* * *

**TONDC**

“So, you mean to tell me this group of people who killed 18 of my people is a defector group of you clan?” Lexa asked the two boys who had been willing answering all her questions since they arrived,

“Yes, according to Raven they stole the guns and broke Jaha out before attacking them as well.” Bellamy answered, “He killed five of his own people and injured fifteen more.”

“And you say he was your leader?” Anya asked questionably

“He was before Cl-.” Bellamy paused, “Before Kane took his place.”

“And you’re the son of this maniac?” Anya asked Wells who sighed,

“I haven’t considered that man my father in a long time, my only family are my friends.” Well answered, “I can’t apologize enough for his actions though, your people didn’t deserve that. I wish they would have left him on the ark, so we could’ve avoided off of this.”

“What will happen to us?” Bellamy asks them mostly Lexa,

“Tomorrow we will talk with your leader, this Jaha must be caught and punished. After that happens, we discus the fate of your people.”

* * *

**ARKADIA**

**The next day**

The commander would be arriving any minute and Raven was beyond nervous. There was no way of knowing what would happen after today if they would be wiped out or shown mercy. Raven hoped for the latter, but she was losing what little hope she had left quickly.

Her family was sitting in that place possibly dead and Jaha was the number one priority. Unbelievable.

“Still no sign of him.” Octavia said to the girl, they had people out searching for Jaha to no avail.

“Maybe we got lucky and he died in the woods somewhere.” Raven replied,

“I don’t believe in luck.”

“Yeah... me either.” She sighed,

“God you two are more depressing than me.”

They turned seeing Murphy limping towards them with some makeshift crutches that Raven made for him.

“What the hell?” Raven yelled, “I told you to go lay down.”

“Calm down mom.” He rolled his eyes, “I got bored, have you talked to Bellamy or Wells yet?”

“No, only Anya and all she said was they were on their way.”

“They’re going to kill us all aren’t they?” Murphy asked,

“It’s possible.” Raven admitted,

“Probably.” Octavia shrugged,

* * *

Clarke and Aurora had been walking for hours and she was sure they were lost, obviously they were lost because Clarke had only spent a few days in the woods and most of it was around TonDC. She had no clue where they were and there was nothing, she could do about it.

So far, they hadn’t come across any grounders which seemed weird, but it was pretty early in the morning so maybe they were still sleep.

Her mind wondered back to the mountain, mostly back to her parents and if they got her note. If they understood why she had to leave because even if they hadn’t seen it yet the people in that mountain were their enemy’s. They were kidnapping people and draining them of their blood for survival and to make matter worst, none of them really seem to mind it.

Surly the people there know what is happening, she thought back to Maya who was a nurse there, so she definitely has to know. Maya the one person from there that she thought was genuine but she’s just as bad as the president. All of these people were compliant.

“Clarke.” Aurora said taking the girl out of her thoughts.

“Yes?”

“Look.”

She followed the direction the woman was pointing in and saw it, the ring from the Ark. It was huge in the sky and Clarke almost wanted to cry when she looked at it. Not because she missed the ark but because it was the first hopeful thing to happen in days. She could tell they still had a ways to walk but now they had a direction and that was more than they had all day.

“Come on.”

* * *

Their arrival to the Skai people’s lands was quick, not even a five-hour ride and Lexa was glad for it. She would admit that the sky people called Bellamy and Wells intrigued her and maybe under different circumstances she could befriend them, but she can’t. Technically at the moment they were prisoners of war, potential war that is.

They set up their camp right across from the Skai peoples large scrapes of metal and Lexa prepared herself for the meeting. She put on her war paint and medallion on as well as her pauldron.

She needed these people to know that there was only one leader on these lands, and it was her. Even if they hadn’t attacked her people, she would still be here doing this. They fell from the sky expecting to have free reign and that is not the case. If there was anything to come from this meeting, she would make sure they knew that.

“Anya.” She called sitting on her throne awaiting the girl,

**“Sha Heda?”**

**“Send for Kane and Raven, I’ll only talk with them.”** She replied and the girl nodded exiting the tent.

A few minutes later her Guards Gustus and Indra entered taking their positions by her side.

 **“They’re here Heda.”** Gustus announces and Lexa nods.

**“Send them in.”**

Silently she sat in her throne as a middle-aged man with dark hair entered the tent followed by a young Latina women not far behind. Lexa took a long look at both of them but mostly Raven and she could understand Anya’s interest, she was very beautiful.

“Kane of the Skai people, Anya tells me you’re their leader.” Lexa says to the man who nods,

“I am the Chancellor yes.” He smiles, “It is very nice to meet you.”

“I can’t say the same.” Lexa replied, “One of my villages is morning the loss of not only our elders but children as well because of one of your people.”

“I understand that, and I do apologize, Jaha’s actions do not reflect us as a people. I can assure you our intentions are pure; we just want to find a way to live peacefully.”

“You want peace?”

“We do.” Kane nodded,

Lexa took the opportunity to scope out the room, expectedly her people looked unimpressed. Raven looked… bored with the whole thing and Anya was looking at Raven so she couldn’t get her feel on the situation.

In reality Lexa had no time for war with yet another clan but on the other hand she couldn’t just forgive and forget. Her people needed closure and justice for the crimes committed even if they don’t reflect the whole clans’ actions.

“I will give you the opportunity to discuss a possible peace but only after you bring me the one you call Jaha.” She said, “He will die for his crimes but only by the hands of my people.”

Kane’s face drained completely and Raven saw this as a win, the sooner they found Jaha and turned him in the faster they can focus on the mountain.

“With all due respect Commander, I can’t just hand over one of my people for slaughter.”

“Are you serious right now?” Raven turned to the man.

“Raven we can’t just let them kill him; I know what he did was horrendous but he’s still a person.”

“If you don’t turn Jaha in by the end of day I’ll take that as a declaration of war.” Lexa said confidently causing Kane to pale once more,

“You seriously think Jaha’s life is worth all of ours?” Raven yelled at the man, “He killed 23 people Kane! Some of them kids.”

“I know what he’s done Raven, but he deserves to be put on trial at least.” Kane defended,

“Don’t think for a second if the roles were reversed, he wouldn’t string you up and drag you into this tent.”

“It’s a good thing he isn’t the Chancellor anymore then.”

Raven looked at him then to the commander who had been watching their whole exchange. If all it took was for Jaha to die to get what she wants, then she was going to make that happen even if she has to hunt him down herself.

“I’m sure if the people our there knew just exactly how you became Chancellor; they wouldn’t want you anymore than they wanted him.” Raven said before exiting the tent leaving Kane,

“Like I said, you have til the end of today to make a decision.” Lexa reiterated, “I’ll leave a guard at your gate for your answer.”

“Thank you, commander.” Kane nodded before exiting leaving Lexa and her guards,

 **“They’re stupider than I thought.”** Gustus said and Indra nodded,

 **“Clearly it’s the leader, I don’t think any of them care what happens to the murder**.” Anya added,

**“Bring in Wells and Bellamy maybe they can shine some light on the situation.”**

* * *

Hours had passed since the meeting with the commander and Raven was still fuming. She should’ve known Kane would be stupid and suddenly try and play the moral high ground card. But it didn’t matter, Kane’s words meant nothing to her and if the grounders wanted Jaha that’s exactly what they would get.

With Murphy hurt her only options were Octavia and Finn to help her find the man. Finn could barley hold a gun but luckily Octavia was an up and coming badass so there was some hope.

She grabbed a couple of guns and rope just in case and headed to the place she asked the pair to meet her. The fence was electrocuted thanks to her but with the help of a friend from engineering she would have this specific section cut off so they can sneak out.

“Ready?” Raven asked the pair handing Octavia a gun and Finn a shock stick she stole from a guard,

“Hell yes.” Octavia answered taking the gun,

“Please don’t hurt yourself Finn.” Raven sighed,

“Have some faith Rae.” Finn smiled holding the shock stick,

“We don’t have much time we need to go before the fence kicks back on.”

She quickly opened the broken piece of the fence ushering them through and shutting it, so the opening wasn’t noticeable. Before they could get very far, they heard yelling mostly from the grounders.

“What now?” Raven groaned running towards the chaos, she could see Lexa and Anya outside of the tent looking at something, but she had no clue what.

Her eyes scanned the trees and bushes until she saw a flash of yellow run into view,

“No fucking way.” She whispered to herself, in all her blonde-haired glory it was Clarke and someone else too that she couldn’t see yet.

“Wait is that-.”

Octavia didn’t give anyone a chance to say anything before she started running towards the people Raven not too far behind.

She couldn’t believe she was here, after days and hours of worrying she could be dead she was here in front of her.

Her feet didn’t stop until she felt yellow clouding her vision and tight arms wrapped around her waist.

“Clarke!” Raven couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks as she felt her friends embrace. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” Clarke smiled trying to hold back her tears because even if she knew Raven was ok, she still missed the girl like crazy.

“Abby and Jake?” She asked hesitantly looking into the blondes deep blue eyes, mostly searching for grief,

“They’re fine for now but we need to get them out of there.”

Clarke couldn’t help the smile that took over her face as she watched Octavia embracing her mom. They hadn’t seen each other since Octavia was discovered and Aurora was taken to sky box to await execution.

Obvious that never happened mostly because of Clarke and her deal with Kane, her whole reasoning for making the deal was to save not only Octavia but Aurora too.

“You got so big.” Aurora cried taking in the sight of her daughter. “I’m missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.”

“Where is Bellamy I must see him.”

Octavia looked to Raven with the desperate look on her face,

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked her clearly noticing the tension,

“A lots happened since you’ve been gone.” Finn answered giving the girl a quick hug,

Before anyone else could say anything a nearby string of gunshots got there attention. Clarke and Raven both scanned the trees looking for the shooter finally spotting him.

“What the fuck?” Clarke said looking a very disheveled Jaha with a riffle in his hand,

“He’s officially the biggest idiot I’ve ever met.” Raven murmured,

“You!” He yelled, pointing to Aurora, “Both of you.” The closer he walked the angrier Clarke was getting. She knew Jaha was crazy and a creep, but this was on a whole new level.

Clarke could see Aurora pulling Octavia behind her to shield her and she went over to the pair standing in front of both of them.

“Back off.” Clarke growled at the man who smiled,

“Clarke Griffin, glad to know you made it safely to the ground.”

“I’m sad to here you didn’t die in landing or better yet on the ark of oxygen deprivation.” Clarke replied, she could feel Octavia nudging a cold piece of medal against her back and she knew it was a gun, “What do you want?”

“First I’m going to kill these criminals.” He said pointing to Octavia and Aurora, “Then I’m going to take back the ark and run as it should be.” The guards were slowly starting to join them, but Clarke wanted to handle this on her own. Really, she just wanted to kill him bur she couldn’t so she would have a little fun first, she silently took Octavia’s gun putting it between her belt and pants before turning back to the man.

“As much as I would love to hear your ‘I’m the villain.’ Monologue, I really have better things to do.” She smiled kicking the gun out of his hand before knocking him to the ground, “I really wish I could kill you right now, but something tells me karma will be coming for you sooner or later.” She took the gun from her back taking the end of it to knock the man out.

Lexa watched in awe as the mysterious blonde easily took out the man with the gun who she learned was the shooter.

“Is she from the sky too?” Lexa asked Anya who was watching by her side,

“That would be Clarke.” Anya slightly smiling as she was too impressed with the girl once again,

“You said the mountain took her.”

“They did.”

“Interesting.” Lexa watched as the sky people took the unconscious man back into their camp. The blonde lingered talking to Raven who seemed to be catching her up to speed. After a minute of talking Lexa felt the blonde’s gaze and returned it feeling this trance fall over her. The girl was beautiful even with the cuts and scraped on her face, Lexa couldn’t deny her beauty, but it felt like there was something else about her.

She watched as they walked into there and camp and Lexa went back into her tent to wait. The sun would be setting soon, and she expected an answer from the sky people any minute.

* * *

“What do you mean he killed 23 people?” Clarke asked Raven,

“He had people break him out of his cell, I don’t know why he killed the grounders, but he killed and shot our people during his escape.”

“Some of us didn’t die though.”

She turned to see Murphy walking on his crutch and her blood turned hot instantly.

“I should’ve killed him when I had the chance.” She said gritting her teeth.

“Glad to know you care.”

“Shut it.” Clarke hugged the boy before returning to her spot beside Raven, “You know I do and Jaha will pay for what he did I’ll make sure of it.”

“Clarke it’s good to see you.” Kane said joining the group,

“Kane.” She really didn’t have much to say to the man seeing as there was no point to argue, all she wanted now was to get her parents out of the mountain. “We need to discuss getting our people out of the mountain, and to do that we need the grounders.”

“I’ve tried to talk with the commander but I’m not willing to hand over someone for slaughter Clarke and I won’t apologize for that.”

“I’m not asking you too.” Clarke said plainly, “We’ll talk to the commander together, maybe offering to take down the mountain together will sway her towards an alliance.” She could see Kane’s shock about her words, but she ignored it. “Let’s go over there now, the sooner the better.”

Kane nodded,

“I’ll meet you at the gate, I’d like to change.” Clarke waited for the man to leave before turning to Raven, “I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything.”

Clarke explained what she needed before quickly throwing on some new clothes and heading towards the gate. She had no clue what to expect walking into this tent, but she hoped for the sake of everyone in that mountain they could come to an understanding.

They waited outside before a huge man covered in tattoos and armor came to usher them in. The tent was not what she was expected it was very, decorated and could honestly be someone’s home.

She looked around the tent scanning everyone before landing on her. Her heart skipped a beat seeing the amazing green-eyed woman sitting in front of her. Her hair braided flawlessly, and her face painted to perfection; Clarke was in awe.

“So, you’re Clarke of the Skai people.” Lexa says as she lazily plays with her dagger, “Anya has told me much about you although I am confused as to how you are here. She told me you were taken by the mountain.”

“I was, but I escaped.”

“No one’s ever escaped the mountain and suddenly you fall out of the sky and achieve it in days.”

“What can I say, I don’t give up.”

Lexa hummed a reply before turning her attention to Kane.

“Are you here to give me an answer Kane of the Skai people?”

“We’re actually here to discuss an alliance.” Clarke answers,

“An alliance?” Lexa says almost laughing, “Why would I align with someone who won’t even turn over a murderer to pay for his crimes.”

“We both have people in the mountain, and I know together we can get them out. Some of my people are being considered guest there but there are cages filled with both of our people and the Mountain Men are using them for their blood.” Clarke could see the confusion on everyone’s face,

“Explain.”

“During my escape I came across a room where two of your people were strung up giving blood transfusions to the people who live in the mountain. The Mountain men can’t come outside because the air is still radiated from the bombs, so they use your people’s blood to filter out radiation. Like I said before there are hundreds of cages filled with people basically waiting to die and they will if we don’t get them out of there.”

Lexa thought over her options, it is likely that they could take down the mountain together but there is still Jaha to deal with. She couldn’t just let him get away with what he did.

“Together I know we can take down the mountain men and save our people.” Clarke added, “Even the reapers can be saved, I’m sure Anya told you of Lincolns recovery we can do that for everyone.”

“Your offer is intriguing Clarke but unless your people hand over Jaha we have nothing more to discuss.”

“I completely understand.” Clarke said before grabbing the Radio, “Bring him in Rae.”

Kane looked around in confusions as the tent opened and Raven and Octavia escorted a handcuffed Jaha in.

“This is Jaha, the one who attacked your village.” Clarke said nodding for Raven to hand him over to the grounders.

“Clarke what the hell are doing?” Kane yelled at the girl who stayed calm,

“I’m only going to say this once Kane, I’m done taking orders from you and from this point until I get my parents out of that place I am in charge.” She said, “Don’t forget you’re only the Chancellor because of me and you no idea what I went through to do it so here’s what going to happen. He’s going to die and then we’re going to get our people back. Afterwards I’ll forget our deal and you’re free to lead as you want.”

Lexa was once again impressed by this mysterious Skai girl, it was fascinating watching her boss her own leader around. No one would ever dare talk to her life that, but she could understand why Kane’s people would go against him. Even if he was a decent leader, he clearly lacked vision of a bigger picture.

“You let a twenty-year-old girl boss you around?” Jaha scoffed, “You’re more pathetic than I thought you were.”

“I’m almost jealous of you Commander.” Clarke said turning to Lexa, “I’d love to have the honor of killing Jaha but he’s all yours.”

“I won’t let you do this Clarke; this is barbaric.” Kane said moving towards Jaha only stopping when Raven pointed her gun at him.

“You can fall in line now or I’ll walk out there and tell all of our people how noble and honest our Chancellor truly is.” Clarke smiled, she almost liked having this over the man’s head even though she also hated it too. The last thing she wanted was power but for some reason it was always the thing she needed to get what she wanted.

“You don’t understand Clarke, if you do this his blood will be on your hands and living with something like that isn’t easy.”

“I think I’ll be just fine living with it, how about you?” Clarke shrugged pointing to Raven,

“I won’t loose any sleep over it, O?”

“I’m all good here.” She smiled,

“You may feel guilty because you were up there floating people for as little as stealing extra food but we’re punishing a murder.” Clarke said, “You can go now.”

Kane sighed looking once more at Jaha before leaving the tent backing down from fighting in further with Clarke.

“So, commander do we have a deal?” Clarke looked back to the piercing green eyes and what seemed to be a faint smirk,

“Our alliance starts with his death.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My intention for writing this story was never really focus on Mountain Weather so i'm thinking by chapter 10 we'll have the battle. I don't know yet and don't worry it won't be rushed i just have so much plot after mount weather that i'm more excited to get to.
> 
> also
> 
> the characters in this story are very different from the ones in season 1 of the 100, they're not kids and they're a lot tougher. They can handle more and they don't back down from a fight, throughout the story you'll see them do things and make choices maybe even some you won't like. This is who they are and as our lord and savior Heda Leska said "We are what we are"


	7. Ashes to Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok hi hello your lovely author here and i have a lot to say. First of all thank you so much for the support and love i've received on this story you guys are amazing! Second of all i got a comment last night from a bellarke stan basically telling me i ripped the title name off from a Bellarke dynamic? apparently he's the heart of the show and Clarke is the head?? I don't know! I don't get involved with stan drama but i will say i won't tolerate any sort of negativity or homophobic behavior anywhere near my stories!! Not happening!!!!!!!!!!  
> Not to say they were being homophobic but they also called Clexa stans freaks and i didn't know how else to take that soooooo? The comments are on chapter one if you want to read them i was very confused the whole time anywho on to the story!!!!!!!!!!!

Today was Jaha’s execution day and Clarke couldn’t be more thrilled, not because the man was dying although she didn’t mind that but because it was one step closer to destroying the mountain.

She watched silently as the grounders tied the man to a tree post where he would eventually die. The night before Anya had explained a little about what would happen, he would suffer 18 cuts before the commander ends his life with her sword. Clarke didn’t pity him, if anything she thought he deserved it not just for the massacre but for what he did-, what he almost did to her too.

“It’s starting soon.” Raven said sitting beside the girl,

“Are Bellamy and Wells back in the camp?”

“Yeah, Bell was excited to see his mom and I don’t think Wells wants to watch this.”

“I can’t blame him for that.” Clarke sighed; Wells has always been one of her best friends but a huge strain in their relationship was always Jaha. He was controlling and manipulative but eventually Wells broke free from him and started living his own life.

“Have I mentioned how happy am I that you’re here?”

Clarke smiled turning to her friend, “Tell me what I missed besides the bad stuff.”

“It was all bad stuff.” She sighed,

“What about Anya? Any new developments?” she smirked,

“Yesterday we accidently touched hands, her face was tomato red.” Raven laughed, “It was adorable, other than that our focus has been on everything that’s going on.”

“Maybe when this is over, you’ll get to focus on other things.”

“Maybe.” Raven shrugged, “Come on, let’s go join the others.”

* * *

Clarke had yet to talk to Kane, she knew he was upset but right now that didn’t matter. It confused her why he would even care, it’s not like they were friends and Kane had him basically overthrown so why he would want to spare Jaha is a perplexing.

Her and Raven joined their friends as they stood by waiting for the grounders to start. The crowd was huge even some Arkers standing at the gates to watch.

Clarke had visited medical the night before to check on the patients Jaha and his group shot, and it was hard to see. Most of them looked drained and others were even scared to go outside. She even met the victims of the people who died, there was a little girl no older than 7 who was shot and some older people who were trying to get to safety.

Jaha wasn’t a stranger to her in fact she would say she knew him quite well and although his actions don’t surprise her, she still never thought he would do something like this. His radical beliefs and dictatorship ways were one thing but what he did here was despicable and his follows were just as guilty.

She listened as the commander gave a short speech before the grounders started cutting the man who screamed in agony. He pleaded for them to stop but no one did and when the time came the commander plunged her sword into the man’s heart. Clarke watched as he took his last breathe before slumping motionless on the tree. She could see Kane standing by the gates his face horrified before he walked back inside, she hoped one day he would understand this was necessary.

“Clarke of the Skai people.”

Clarke turned around seeing the commander in all her badass wonder woman glory standing in front of her. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t attracted to the women but that should be the last thing on her mind.

“Commander.”

“We will be traveling to TonDC to finish the ceremony; you may pick a group to travel with. After this is done, we will start discussing the destruction of the mountain.”

“Ok.” Clarke nodded, “We’ll be ready.”

Lexa nodded before walking back to her tent and Clarke walked back to Arkadia to gather some things.

First, she needed her bag, she knew she left it at the pod before she went to find the exodus ship, but she hoped someone would bring it.

“Here.” Raven handed her the bag clearly reading her mind, “I grabbed it from the pod.”

“You’re the best.” Clarke smiled taking the back making sure everything was still there and It was, “We’re traveling to TonDC with the commander soon so pack anything you need.”

Raven nodded, “What do you think of her? You think we can trust her?”

“Honestly, I don’t trust anyone but you and our friends.” Clarke said, “But we need them Rae, there is no way we can get them out on our own.”

“And what about Kane, you really think he’s going to just sit back and let you take reigns?”

“If he wants to keep the Chancellor pin, yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell him what happened with Jaha?” she asks causing the blonde to flinch,

“Do you really think it would’ve mattered?”

“Yes.” Raven said honestly, “Kane may be stupid but despite everything he is a good guy. If he knew there is no doubt in my mind, he would’ve left Jaha on the ark or floated him.”

“Well now he’s dead so it doesn’t matter.”

“You’re right but I also think you need to at least tell Abby and Jake.”

“Raven I don’t really want to talk about it, I just- I want our family back so let’s focus on that.”

Raven watched the blonde continue packing before mumbling about meeting her at the gate. She knew Clarke didn’t like talking about what happened but keeping it bottled up wasn’t doing her any good either.

She quickly packed up a few clothes and a tablet she was fixing before joining the blonde outside.

“Who’s coming with us?” Raven asks her,

“Bellamy, Octavia, Aurora, and Wells.” She answered, “Finn’s going to stay to look after Murphy much to his annoyance.”

“You know he doesn’t like Finn.” Raven laughed,

“Wells wanted to come, and I can’t just leave Murphy unattended.” She shrugged, “He’ll be fine.”

“Kane’s not coming?”

“Kane has things to take care of here, once we have a solid plan him and the others will join us.”

They stood at the gate for a few minutes talking and waiting and finally Anya appeared to tell them it was time. Clarke didn’t know what was left of this ceremony and truthfully, she didn’t care. The only thing she cared about was taking down the mountain.

* * *

About 3 hours into their travels Lexa felt her eyes wonder to Clarke who was walking in front of her with Raven and Bellamy by her side. She still hadn’t had much of a real conversation with the girl, but she couldn’t understand why she wanted to so bad. Sure, Clarke was beautiful but that couldn’t be why she felt this pull towards her. Over the years she’s met many beautiful girls, and none peaked her interest quite like Clarke. Granted that could be because her eyes were always on Costia, so she didn’t care about anyone else.

 **“You think too loud.”** Anya said, her horse was directly beside hers as it usually was when they traveled. **“What is it?”**

 **“Nothing.”** Lexa said choosing to focus on the trees instead of the blonde in front of her.

* * *

“Ro did Octavia tell you she has a boyfriend?” Raven smirked while Octavia went pale and Bellamy looked confused,

“No, she doesn’t.” He says,

“Oh, Bellamy leave your sister alone, she can have a boyfriend if she wants.” Aurora says,

“She’s too young!”

“I’m 17!” Octavia defended, “And I don’t have a boyfriend, Lincolns a friend.”

“Lincoln as in the man Clarke saved?” Bellamy asks,

“Wait I really did miss a lot.” Clarke laughed,

“The grounders are all insanely hot or am I the only one who noticed?” Raven asked,

“Nope they definitely have some good genes.” Clarke agreed her mind wondering to the commander, she was definitely hot.

“Maybe you should focus on your own love life Bell or lack thereof.” Octavia smiled,

“Oof.” Clarke laughed,

“Whatever.” He mumbled,

“You two leave my baby alone, Bellamy is a lady’s man I’m sure he’ll find someone soon.” Aurora ruffled the boy’s hair,

* * *

**“Are they romantically involved?”** Lexa asks pointing to Raven and Clarke who were walking with their arms around each other and laughing at something Bellamy said,

 **“I thought the same.”** Anya says, **“But Raven says they are like sisters, Clarke’s parents raised her.”**

 **“How are things with Raven?”** Lexa asked,

 **“Fine, we haven’t really talked much.”** Anya said sighing, **“I don’t know what I’m doing.”**

 **“Don’t tell me you want relationship advice from me.”** Lexa smiled,

**“I’m venting more than asking, I just don’t know how to do this.”**

**“You take it one step at a time, let your feelings be known and go from there.”**

Anya nodded focusing back on the brunette who’s laugh made her heart palpitate like crazy and Lexa once again tried not to focus on the blonde, but it was proving to be harder than she imagined.

Her raspy laughed filled the air and her voice vibrated through her body and as much as she loved the feeling, she also wanted it to stop.

Clarke wasn’t hers and she would never be, she can’t do romance it only makes things harder. So, she decided to from this point on she would push down any feelings she has for the blonde and never think about it again. _Only if she knew just how hard that would be._

When they arrived to TonDC they were greeted by the citizen cheering ‘Heda’ which Clarke learned meant Commander in their language. The energy was interesting, and she could see the people truly adored their leader.

She still had yet to learn the woman’s name only calling her commander, but she must be one hell of a leader to make thousands of people follow her like this. She watched as the woman held up her hand stopping the cheers before speaking.

“People of TonDC today we cleanse the pain of the past, Murderer and murdered join by fire only then may their souls find peace.” Lexa said, “The Skai people have turned over the murder and he suffered far more than your loved ones did I can assure you that.”

Lexa nodded for Indra and Gustus to place the bodies on the logs and start the fire. Once it was done Lexa was handed the torch but in a last-minute decision, she decided to ask Clarke to join her.

 _“Ogeda.”_ She said motioning for Clarke to join her, “Together.”

Clarke nodded putting a hand on the torch as Lexa moved It towards the logs filled with the bodies of Jaha and his victims.

Everyone watched as the flames dimmed to nothing but ash and everyone went either into their homes or gathered in different groups talking.

Clarke opted to watch the ash, for what she didn’t know. Maybe to claim this as a moment for justice for herself, for not letting Jaha make her a victim. Or maybe she wanted to make sure he was really gone as if she didn’t watch his lifeless body burn to the very ash she’s staring at.

“There will be a feast soon.” Lexa said from behind her startling her a little bit, “I’ve set up accommodations for you and your guest while you are here.”

“Thank you.” Clarke smiled and Lexa had to look away,

“I admire your strength Clarke.” Lexa said, “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as willing as you to openly defy their leader.”

“Kane’s hardly a leader.” She mumbled, “But sometimes you have to take what you want and I’m not letting anything stop me from taking the mountain down and getting to my parents.”

“I understand that.”

“Did you lose someone to the mountain too?” Clarke asked seeing the girl tense up, “Sorry.”

“I did.” She replied, “Her name was Costia and she was very special to me. Last year while she was traveling the mountain men attacked and she was captured.”

“Then this is for her too.” Clarke said, “We will take down the mountain and you will get justice for her as well as all of your people.”

Lexa nodded not sure if she could trust her voice, she never talks about Costia and when she does, she almost never says her name but for some reason she wanted to tell Clarke. She didn’t mind opening up for even just a second and she was kind of glad she did.

“Not that I don’t like calling you commander, but do you have a name?” she smiled,

“It’s Lexa.”

How could a name make someone so much more appealing, Clarke thought to herself as she stared into those big green eyes. Again, she had her war paint on, and her hair braided, and Clarke was sure those two things could make her bow down to this woman in an instant.

“Well Lexa, should we join the others.”

Lexa nodded ushering for Clarke to take the lead mostly so she could get herself together.

The feast was nothing like Clarke imagined it would be not that she has expectations, but she was still a little surprised. There were kids running around everywhere and grounders were playing instruments while others danced. It was very lively and under different circumstances Clarke would’ve had a great time.

“This makes me miss music.” Raven sighed from beside the blonde,

“Alpha station probably has the old records and tablets filled with the music library.” 

“Way ahead of you.” Raven smiled holding up her bag, “I took one of the tablets to fix up, if all goes well, we’ll have the music and movie library from the arks database.”

“Sounds exciting.” Clarke said, she had been trying to catch Lexa’s gaze all night for what she had no clue, but she liked having the woman’s attention.

The thought of those green eyes piercing into her made her knees weak. The effect this woman had over her after only a few conversations was unbelievable. Maybe it was just an attraction, Lexa was good looking it could just be lust and nothing more. But as soon as her eyes found the green ones, she knew that wasn’t true, it wasn’t more yet, but it could be and that was scary.

Relationships weren’t something Clarke had a lot of expertise on seeing as she’s never even kissed anyone before let alone dated. Of course, there were people on the Ark who asked her out, but she always refused for the simple reason that she just wasn’t interested. No one’s ever peaked her interest in this way but for some reason Lexa did. Lexa made her wonder how her lips would feel on hers or how it would feel to share a night together and cuddle or hold hands all things she’s never thought about doing with anyone. Sure, she considered what her first kiss would be like, but she never dwelled on it too long.

Lexa was doing something to her, something she didn’t know if she was ok with yet.

“Clarke look.” Raven nudged her pointing toward the group of people dancing two of them being Octavia and Lincoln. “Bell looks pissed and I’ve never wanted to have a camera more in my life.”

Clarke laughed spotting Bellamy watching the pair dance and grind on each other while Aurora was beaming looking at her daughter. She never doubted going through with her plan but seeing Aurora here with her kids she knew it was worth it.

* * *

Not long after Clarke found herself at the table trying to figure out which drink, she would like best. Alcohol has never really been her thing mostly because the ones she tasted came from Monty and Jaspers still and that shit was always gross, but it did the trick.

The grounders seemed to have a lot of variations of different drinks, some had fruits in it other were just straight clear liquid with a very strong smell.

“Having trouble?” Lexa asked joining the blonde at the drinks.

“I’m not sure what I like.” Clarke answered, “Any recommendations.”

“Try this.” Lexa handed her a cup, it was red and filled with different fruits, “It’s called Fayowoda, literally means fire water.”

“Fire water?” Clarke inspected the drink skeptically,

“The name is intimidating but it’s actually quite sweet, try it.”

Clarke slowly took a sip from the cup delighted by the taste that followed, it was very sweet, and the alcohol wasn’t too strong.

“It’s good.” She said and Lexa smiled,

“I would never lie about such things Clarke of the Skai people.”

For the first time Clarke realized how relaxed the woman looked, she didn’t have her paint on or her hair in braids. Instead she had light eyeliner and her hair flowing down her back in waves. She still had her pauldron and she still looked badass, but she also looked sexy and amazing and Clarke needed to get her shit together.

“I’ll never doubt you again commander.” She smiled, sipping her drink again trying to get her dirty thought to leave her alone!

“You’re not dancing with your friends.” She looked over at O who was still dancing with Lincoln and Raven who had joined them with a girl she didn’t know.

“As much as I enjoy dancing, watching is good enough for me tonight.” Clarke had no clue what Raven was doing but she saw Anya who looked a mix between jealous and pissed, “You don’t dance?”

“I do.” Lexa nodded, “But tonight I guess I to would rather watch.”

“Do you guys have feasts often?”

“We have sacred holidays we celebrate but unless something happens that calls for a feast like winning a war, we usually don’t have to many.”

“Maybe you’ll be having one soon then when we take down the mountain.”

Lexa smiled, “You’re very confident.”

“I told you I don’t give up.”

Lexa once again felt her heart speeding up and her eyes drifting to the blonde’s lips and she knew she needed to go.

“Right, well I hope you enjoy the rest of your night Clarke. Tomorrow we plan our war.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” She smiled, and Lexa rushed off quickly to the Anya’s house and ran to her room.

She tried to slow her breathing, but it was proving to be harder than she thought. This girl was doing things to her and she hated it, she hated it and she needed it to go away.

All she had to do was push it away, that always works but right now it wasn’t working.

“Why isn’t it working!” Lexa mumbled to herself. “Love is weakness, love is weakness, love is weakness.”

“Yongon what have I told you about that?”

Lexa turned to the voice surprised as usually she would at least here someone enter a room. She was surprised to see the woman standing there but happy that it was her.

“It’s good to see you after so long.” The woman smiled pulling Lexa into a big hug,

“You too nomon.” Lexa sighed, “I didn’t know you’d be back so soon.”

“Well you wouldn’t know seeing as you don’t ever visit anymore.”

“I’m very busy nomon.”

“I know, I know but that doesn’t mean you can’t still come see your own mother.”

“I’m here now.” She smiled,

“How long?”

“A few days at least, war is coming nomon we have to prepare.”

“Oh, Lexa don’t be so ominous, there is no doubt in my mind you will beat the mountain.”

“That is the plan.” She nodded,

“Are you going to tell me why you’re in here chanting Titus’s tired old-fashioned teachings?” The woman asked gesturing for Lexa to join her on the couch and she did.

“It keeps me grounded.” Lexa said,

“You mean it keeps you from facing feelings you don’t want to face.”

Lexa had never been good at hiding much from her nomon especially after Costia’s death. Her mom refused to leave her side afterwards until Lexa ordered her back to TonDC to relive Anya of her duties.

This was Lexa home village, and her mom Elena was the chief and has been all of Lexa’s life. People looked up to her mom and Lexa admired her from a very young age praying she could be as great as her nomon. She still hasn’t figured out if she is or not.

“What is it Leska?” her mom asked, “Costia?”

For the first time it wasn’t about Costia and that made her feel even worse, she was thinking about someone else.

“I’m fine nomon, I promise.” Lexa stood up straightening out her shirt, “Roshop nomon, we’ll eat breakfast together in the morning.”

Lexa hurried to her room before her mom could say anything else, she stripped her armor and clothes deciding a bath would take her mind off things.

The warm water felt amazing, but her thoughts followed her everywhere she went. She sighed silently slipping her head under the water wetting her curly hair and lathering it with soap.

Maybe all she needed was a good night’s sleep surly that will make these thoughts go away. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 8 coming to you tomorrow!! Thanks for reading you're the bestest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> also im not going to change the title but that person kind of pissed me off lol !!!!!!!! I’ve never dealt with that before!


	8. Foggy Weather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa get to know each other and also start to realize they might like each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> important note: Some dialogue is taken straight from the show just using it for context!!!!!!
> 
> bold in "" mean it's Trigedasleng
> 
> sorry for all mistakes i suck :)

Finally, it was time to discuss their plan to take down the mountain and Clarke was beyond excited. She knew by now her parents will have found her note she just hoped they wouldn’t believe whatever lies Dante will most likely feed them about her disappearance. Soon enough those people will get exactly what’s coming to them.

The war meeting was exactly what Clarke was expecting, the scene she walked into looked straight out of a movie. Maps were laid out across the table and warriors surrounded it while Lexa stood at the head looking amazing as usual.

Clarke only brought Raven in with her mostly for support since everyone in this room were six-foot gods and goddesses it was a little bit intimidating. Not that she was scared but it didn’t hurt having her best friend by her side.

“Today we’re here to discuss the take down of the mountain.” Lexa said getting a few cheers, “As you know we’ve aligned with the sky people who also have people trapped in the mountain. Clarke the sky people’s leader was also captured but she escaped.”

Clarke watched as the grounders looked at her in awe, but some also looked at her with what she could only describe as disgust. Clearly some people weren’t too keen on the alliance and she was sure that had everything to do with Jaha.

“According to Clarkes information the mountain men cannot breathe our air which means we have the upper hand in that sense.” Lexa says, “She also informs me that they have our people in cages using them for their blood and discarding them like trash afterwards. Today we not only plan a war but retribution as well, and when we’re done there will be no more mountain men.”

The room busted out in cheers and all Clarke and Raven could do was look around and observe before the commander held up her hand.

“First we need to discuss setbacks.” Lexa turned to Clarke, “The reapers will be an issue.”

“And the acid fog.” Another woman adds,

“Acid fog?” Raven asks,

“A weapon from the mountain men, they release it into the air. It is very lethal and kills almost instantly.”

Great, Clarke thought. One more roadblock they had to figure out.

“Surly it can be shut down from the inside.” Raven whispers to Clarke,

"Yeah but we can't talk to anyone on the inside." Clarke sighed, “Can you establish a radio connection strong enough to reach the mountain.” She had an idea, not a good one but they needed something.

“There’s literally nothing I can’t do Clarke.” Raven smiled, “But I’ll have to go back to Arkadia to do it, we didn't bring anything with us." 

The last thing Clarke wanted was to be away from Raven, but this was important, they needed that radio.

“Take Wells, and radio me when you get back, I’ll come as soon as I can.”

Raven nodded hugging the girl before leaving the room, Clarke turned her attention back to Lexa who was staring at her.

After the meeting Clarke went searching for Bellamy and Octavia but was stopped before she could reach them.

“Clarke.”

“Lexa.” She smiled her eyes still searching for the siblings,

“When I enter an agreement with people, I need to know what’s going on at all times.” She replied, “Where did you send Raven off to?” 

“She went back to Arkadia to work on a radio and I’m not trying to keep any information from you I promise.” Clarke said finally facing the commander, “Whatever plan we come up with will be mute until we figure out a way to shut down their defenses and that can only be done from the inside. My dad is the lead engineer on the ark, he can shut the acid fog down without an issue the only problem is we can’t talk to them.”

“And you have a solution?”

Clarke sighed, running her fingers through her hair. Technically she did have a solution she just hated it beyond words.

“We need an inside man, someone who can do what we need done without the mountain men knowing he’s there.”

“People can’t just sneak into the mountain Clarke.” Lexa said, “I know your escape may seem easy but this-.”

“Actually, my escape wasn’t easy Lexa.” Clarke interrupted, “I left my parents behind and I almost died so no it wasn’t easy and I understand getting someone inside won’t be but until someone else has a better idea this is what I’m doing.” She quickly walked off in the direction of the house Bellamy was staying and luckily him Octavia and Lincoln were all sitting outside.

“Hey.”

“Hey Clarke, we saw Raven and Wells rush off everything ok?” Bellamy asks,

“For now, but right now I need to talk to you.” She was glad Aurora wasn’t outside with them because she knew she would be very upset with even suggesting what she was about to, but she didn’t trust anyone else.

“Ok, what’s up?”

Clarke explained the situation as quickly as she could hoping he would understand why this was important, but she knew Bellamy, she knew he would come through for her.

“So, you want me to be the inside man?” Bellamy asks,

“Yes.”

“Clarke that’s crazy he could get killed!” Octavia said butting in,

“I know but I don’t trust anyone else with this, you don’t have to give me an answer now I need to wait for Raven to finish the radio anyways.”

Bellamy nodded but he already knew his answer was yes, especially if it meant getting Clarke’s parent back.

Clarke spent the rest of her day thinking out a plan that will work once the acid fog was taken out of the equation. She knew the dam was their power source and they had a backup generator so they would have to do something about that. The most aggravating part was figuring out whether she truly does want to kill everyone in the mountain.

There are absolutely people in there who deserve to die but there are also children and small kids and she can’t kill them. They don’t have a choice in the matter so they can’t be punished and ideally, she didn’t want to kill anyone, but she would if it came down to it.

“Skai girl.” Anya joined the girl as they sat by the training grounds,

“Anya.”

“Raven left?”

“Yes, but she’ll be back.” She smiled seeing the other girl blush slightly, “I’m not good at giving out relationship advice but if you like Raven you should tell her. We’re going into a war that we might not make it out of so don’t waste any time.”

“I won’t.”

“Good.”

“I actually came over to give you this.” Anya pulled out a sword gently setting it on the girl’s lap,

“You’re giving me a weapon?” Clarke asks examining the sword, “Does this mean you trust me now?”

“This means I think you have the potential to be an amazing warrior and I want to train you.”

“Wait really?” Clarke asks shocked staring at the older girl who nodded,

“Only if you want.”

“Yes! This is like in Karate Kid when Mr. Miyagi starts training Daniel so he can beat up the bullies from the dojo!” Clarke exclaimed and Anya looked lost,

“I have no clue what you just said.”

“It’s a movie, we’ll watch it one day.”

Clarke continues talking with Anya about all the different movies they used to watch on the Ark. There were many but her Raven and Jake always like the fighting action ones while Abby gravitated towards romance. It was a huge divide in their household.

Lexa watched as Clarke and Anya talked, she wasn’t sure what they were talking about, but she saw Anya laughing which made her the tinniest bit jealous. She wished she could sit and laugh with Clarke or with anyone, but her duties come first and there is always an issue that needs solved and she has to do it.

 **“So that’s the sky girl I’ve been hearing of all day.”** Elena said joining Lexa **, “She really escaped the mountain?”**

**“Yes, nomon she did.”**

**“Impressive and I hear she cures reapers.”**

**“Her people are going to cure the reapers after we defeat the mountain.”**

**“That’s great, I’m really proud of you Lexa.”** Elena smiled **, “You’re an amazing Heda and I know once you defeat the mountain, Azgeda will be the next to fall.”**

**“I hope so nomon.”**

Elena watched in silence as her daughter’s eyes stayed glued to the blonde Skai girl. Could it be that her daughter was starting to open her heart again after having it broken in the worst way? By the way Lexa followed Clarkes every move she knew there was something between the two, even if it’s just a connection. She would have to ask Anya about it later but for now she would let her daughter pine after the Skai girl in peace.

**“I have to travel to Luna’s village tonight, but I’ll be back before you leave.”**

**“Is everything ok?”**

**“Yes, but winter is coming soon yongon and we need to stalk up on supplies.”**

**“Right, give Luna my best.”**

**“I will.”** Elena gave her daughter a quick kiss and hug before going back inside.

Lexa continued watching Clarke who was now swinging around a sword that Anya had given her. After watching for a few minute, she decided to take her leave, it was clear they were done planning for the day.

* * *

A few days had past since Clarke had sent Raven to Arkadia to work on the radio and she was finally on her way back. The radios were done, and she decided to bring some more supplies so she wouldn’t have to travel back to Arkadia anytime soon.

Clarke had been training with Anya for 3 days now and she was really enjoying it, even though Anya was beating her ass constantly she was learning. Anya was not an easy trainer and Clarke was glad for it, she really wanted to be a good warrior or gona as she’s learned. Her and Anya also had formed a sort of bond and friendship which was nice, besides the small group she had and loved she didn’t have many friends. So, she was excited to have a new one and it also gave her the opportunity to talk up Raven as much as she could.

“Ready for your first match Skai girl?” Anya smirked helping the blonde off the ground and handing her, her sword.

“We’ve already had many matches Anya.” Clarke gasped trying to catch her breath, she was pretty in shape, but this was a lot.

“I mean with someone who isn’t me, someone has challenged you.”

Clarke looked around wondering what big scary grounder wanted to kick her ass now, to say some of them didn’t like her was an understatement. It wasn’t that they didn’t like her they didn’t like the Skai people because of what Jaha did.

“Who?” Clarke asked,

“Me!”

She turned seeing Octavia with a sword and her hair in braids, full grounder mode and Clarke loved it. The girl had been training with Lincoln and she was quite good, she was proud of her.

“Really?” Clarke smirked watching the girl twirl her sword,

“Why not?” Octavia shrugged,

“Have it your way baby Blake.”

“I hate you!” She yelled swinging her sword at Clarke who blocked it with a laugh,

“I love you too!”

* * *

Lexa thought it best if she kept her distance from Clarke, but she did see her training sessions with Anya and she was learning fast. She wanted to be around the blonde and eventually she would have to, but she also needed to get her feelings under control, and it was proving harder than she thought.

She watched her fight with Octavia who was also a good warrior, but Clarke was better, probably because she had previous training. Clarke expertly knocked the younger girl’s sword out of her hand kicking her to the ground then using her own sword to press against her neck. It was a quick fight but impressive.

After training was done, she decided she couldn’t avoid the blonde anymore, so she went down to the training grounds where she was sitting watching the others train.

“You did well.” She said standing next to the girl with her hands planted firmly behind her back,

“Thanks, Anya’s a good teacher.”

“You’re a much faster learner than I was when Anya started training me, and she wasn’t as patient.”

“She trained you?” Clarke asks finally looking up at the girl,

“She did, I was her second before I was called to lead my people.”

“She doesn’t look that much older than you.”

Lexa smiled, “She is 27 and I am 23, I became her second when I was 12 and she finished her training with my nomon.”

“Your mom trained her too?” Clarke asked and Lexa took note of her knowledge of their language,

Lexa nodded, “My nomon is the chief of this village and every so often she takes on a second, Anya was one of the lucky ones. I'm glad you’re learning from a warrior like her.”

“Me too.” She nodded,

“I also wanted to apologize for what I said the other day, I know it wasn’t easy to escape the mountain and I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s ok.” Clarke got up facing the brunette, “Heat of the moment I get it.”

Before Lexa could say anything, they heard a frantic Raven running towards them holding something she couldn’t see.

“Clarke! Thank god, why the hell didn’t you answer me I’ve been trying to radio you!?” Raven asked trying to catch her breath,

“I’m sorry I’ve been out here pretty much all morning what’s wrong?” Clarke asked hesitantly, “Did something happen in Arkadia?”

“No, Arkadia’s fine but you need to hear this.” Raven turned a few switches on the radio turning the volume up so they could hear.

“If any ark survivors are hearing this, this is Head engineer Jake Griffin, there are many of us trapped in the mountain and we don’t know how much longer we have left. Clarke and Raven if you are hearing this, we love you and stay strong.”

Clarke didn’t notice she was shaking until she felt someone touch her hand and give it a small squeeze before letting go. She didn’t even have time to question it before her brain flooded with questions.

“It’s repeating?” Clarke looked to Raven,

“It’s some sort of recording, it’ll play on a loop unless they find a way to get a radio.” Raven replied,

“You need your inside man.” Bellamy chimed in, “We need to do this now more than ever.”

“Bell-.” Octavia started,

“No O, Clarke risked everything to save you and mom we owe her this.” Bellamy said interrupting her and Octavia nodded,

“How are you even going to get in?” Raven asks,

“I can get him in.” Lincoln says,

“No way!” Octavia looks at him, “No.”

“I can get you through the reaper tunnels.”

“Lincoln you’re not ready to go back yet.” Octavia pleaded with him,

“This is about more than just me.” He smiled, “I’ll be fine, Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim.” Octavia sighed, this was clearly a losing battle

“When you get in you need find Jake, he’ll know what to do from there to make contact.” Raven said and he nodded,

Clarke who hadn’t said a word felt her hands shaking once again, this was her fault, she left. Maybe they started being violent to her people because she left maybe this is all her fault!

“Clarke.”

Clarke looked up finding green eyes searching hers and she tried with everything in her to get her hands to stop shaking but she couldn’t.

“Follow me.” Lexa said softly guiding her into Anya’s home and onto her couch,

Once she had the blonde settled, she went and grabbed her a glass of water before returning sitting next to her.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Lexa said,

“That it’s all my fault.” Clarke mumbled,

“But it’s not, if you hadn’t escaped our people wouldn’t have this alliance and we wouldn’t be any closer to taking down the mountain.” Lexa explained not noticing her hand rubbing the blondes back soothingly,

“I left them, I- I should’ve done more or tried to make them to believe me more. What if-.”

“No, you can’t think that way.” Lexa interrupted, “Bellamy will get in and we will take down the mountain and save our people. Say it.”

Clarke looked at the girl for the first time she didn’t see the commander or this intimidating person she just saw a woman, trying to help her.

“Say it Clarke.”

Clarke smiled, “Bellamy will get in and we will take down the mountain and save our people.”

“Good, now here.” Lexa handed her the water their fingers briefly touching, and Clarke pulled her hand away quickly looking frightened, “Relax Clarke, I’m not going to tie you up to a tree because we accidently touched.”

“Something tells me I wouldn’t mind being tied up by you.” Clarke said before she could catch herself, “God why did I say that out loud.” She groaned and Lexa was silent beside her, her cheeks crimson, “I should go- I gotta go I mean- I should see Bellamy before he leaves.” Clarke stood up quickly setting her water down, “Thank you for... this.”

“You’re welcome Clarke.” Lexa said avoiding eye contact with the girl, but Clarke was already half out the door to even notice,

As soon as the air hit her, she took a deep breath and exhaled until she had enough. Did she really just insinuate she wouldn’t mind if the commander tied her up in a sexual sense.

“I’m an idiot.” Clarke mumbled,

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Anya says startling the girl, “You have some redeeming qualities.”

“God Anya, maybe announce yourself before you speak!”

Anya looked at the girl, she was clearly flustered something obviously happened but what?

“Usually I don’t have to announce myself to someone outside of my house.” Anya says,

“Oh, I didn- I mean I assumed it was Lexa’s- the commanders I mean.”

“She stays with me when she’s here.” Anya smiles trying to figure how what she was missing; it couldn’t be Clarke and Lexa… Or could it? Did she miss something?

“Right well then I’ll leave you to it, I’m going to go see Bellamy before he leaves.” Clarke walks off,

“Uh Clarke.” Anya calls,

“Yes?”

“Bellamy’s that way.” Anya pointed in the opposite direction and Clarke sighed before changing direction,

“Right, thanks.” Clarke hurried off before the humiliation could continue even more.

An Anya entered her house with a smile when she spotted an equally as flustered Lexa sitting on the couch.

 **“Interesting morning?”** Anya tries to hide her smile to no avail, something about this was hilarious to her.

 **“What?”** Lexa asks, **“No, not really.”**

 **“Right.”** Anya smiled, **“Well the war meeting starts in an hour.”**

 **“I’ll go change.”** Lexa rushed off to her room leaving a smirking Anya on the couch.

“Skai girl and the commander, interesting.”

* * *

“Don’t do this just because you think you owe me Bell.”

It was time for Bellamy and Lincoln to leave and everyone was saying their goodbyes.

“I’m not Clarke, I want to help, we’re family this is what family does.”

“Be careful and be safe.” She hugged the boy, “I love you Bell.”

“I love you too, take care of them.”

“I will.”

“And take care of you.”

“I will.” She smiled,

She watched as everyone else said there goodbyes and she tried not to notice Lexa who was standing with Anya not too far from them. She had no clue how she was supposed to be around her after what she said, it’s embarrassing. Never has she ever said anything like that to anyone before and its worse cause she meant it. In no world would she mind being tied up by Lexa but why the hell couldn’t she just keep that to herself?

“Ready for this war meeting?” Raven asks drawing her from her thoughts,

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Clarke replied, “Are you ok?”

“I am, we’re going to get them back and that’s all that matters.”

Clarke nodded grabbing the girl’s hand before walking towards the room where the meeting will take place. Clarke ultimately decided to avoid all eye contact with Lexa as possible and for the most part it was easy.

She didn’t talk much other than explain how the containment system works and how they draw power from the dam and possible plans to take it out. There were a few grounders giving her trouble, but Lexa shut it down quickly which she appreciated but didn’t need, she could handle herself.

When the meeting was over, she dragged Raven out of there and to the spot Lexa had given them to work on their electronics.

“When I was in the mountain a girl Jasper friended Maya told me the mountain, has an electromagnetic locking system but it has one flaw. When the power goes out, it disengages. They think we can’t open the door but under the right circumstance we could.”

“Meaning if we take out the dam, we could get the door open.” Raven finished, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Raven Reyes finally gets to create not only one bomb but at least five.” Clarke smiled,

“I’m going to blow that dam to ash!” Raven cheered, “How did you get her to tell you that that seems like something you shouldn’t know.”

“I was being nosy, and fake concerned about how they handle power outages during bad weather.”

“My little actress.” Raven smiled, “Oscar worthy?”

“Golden Globes at best.”

“That’s my girl.”

“You think you can do it?”

“Stop doubting my skills Clarke, plus I’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment!”

* * *

It had been a day since Clarke sent Bellamy and Lincoln to infiltrate mount weather and so far, there was nothing. Not that she expected to here from him this soon, but she was worried. So many things could’ve went wrong, and she didn’t know what to do. Waiting was agonizing and it didn’t help that the grounders were questioning her ever word.

“This argument is a waste of time. It is simple. They can't breathe our air why not just open the door and be done with it? Let them burn.” One of them said,

She had been trying to explain her plan since the meeting started but none of them would shut up long enough to listen.

“No, because they have a containment system, Multiple airlocks just like we had on the ark. Our inside man can shut that down.” Clarke responded trying her best to keep her cool, and the man sighed exhaustedly,

“If he gets inside” One of them says,

"What if we shut it down from the outside? You say the dam gives them power. Let's take that away.” Lexa suggested trying to calm the conversation down, she knew Quint had some issues with the sky people, but she hoped he’d put it aside for the greater cause.

“That dam withstood a nuclear war, commander. I highly doubt-.” Clarke started but was interrupted by a huge bang on the table.

“All she offers is no!”

“Quint.” Lexa warned,

“Apologies, commander, but the biggest army We've ever had waits for us to give it a mission. The longer that takes, the more of our people Die inside that mountain.” He explains,

“We all have people in the mountain.” Clarke turned to him,

“We’ve lost thousands!” he spat, “It doesn’t compare to what you people have lost. She says she has a plan. I say waiting for one man to get inside Is not a very good one.”

“Quint is right, we have an army let’s use it.” Another leader chimed in,

“We will once Bellamy lowers the defenses and turns off the acid fog, I don’t care how many men you have. If you can’t get to your enemy, you can’t win.”

“You are the enemy.” He replies and Clarkes had enough,

“I’m sorry have I done something to offend you?” She says moving towards the man,

“Yes, your people killed my brother in our village.”

“Jaha is not my people and he paid his price, I’m sorry about your brother but that has nothing to do with me. All I care about now is getting all of our people out of the mountain so perhaps you should start focusing on that and not someone who’s already dead.” Clarke could see she struck a chord, but it didn’t matter, this whole meeting will be anti-productive if they don’t stop arguing.

“You know you’re very brave under the commander’s protection.”

“I can assure you I don’t need anyone’s protection.”

“Enough!” Lexa yelled, “If you two don’t mind I’d like to get back to the plan.”

 **“Sorry Heda.”** Quint nodded,

“I need some air.” Clarke said before exiting the room and going outside.

Not that she expected planning a war to be easy, but she didn’t expect her every word to be questioned to no end. She understood people’s lives were changed forever because of what Jaha did but that wasn’t her fault. It was up to her Jaha would’ve been dead a long time ago.

The further she walked into the woods the more she thought that maybe if she had told Kane what happened then they could’ve prevented this. If she told then Jaha would’ve been punished and maybe these people would still be alive, but she didn’t. She couldn’t.

“You shouldn’t let Quint, or anyone else’s words discourage you.” Lexa said from behind her,

“I’m not.”

Lexa studied the blonde trying to read her expression, it wasn’t sad or mad maybe somewhere in between. They hadn’t talked properly since Clarke’s comment on tying her up, but Lexa knew the girl was worried about her family and she wanted to give her some sort of solace. She knows how it feels to lose someone to the mountain but if all goes to plan, they can actually save her parents.

Planning this war against mount weather has made her think if it was possible all along. Like maybe there was a chance she could have saved Costia if she had tried but she didn’t. Instead she excepted her loss as everyone does when a loved one is taken by the mountain and tried her hardest to get over the pain even though she knew she never would.

Except now she didn’t know that because the past few days the pain has been a little easier to handle without having to push it down and she didn’t know why. She couldn’t admit to herself that a certain blonde might have something to do with that, that maybe her heart found someone new to care about even if it shouldn’t. She’s trying to stop it, but she can’t.

“I understand his grief, but the dead are gone, we still have people we could save instead of arguing about it.” Clarke added,

“I agree but I also understand their concerns.” Lexa said, “As much as I want to believe Bellamy will get in, we don’t know that for sure.”

“I know.” Clarke mumbled, “But I believe in Bellamy he’ll get this done, I know he will.”

“If he doesn’t make contact soon, we need to start thinking of a plan b.”

Before Clarke could say anything there was a huge roar and trees plummeting to the ground.

“What the hell is that?” Clarke asked,

“Pauna.” Lexa replied clearly frightened, “Run!”

Lexa quickly grabbed the blondes hand pulling her through the woods as quickly as she could. They had a small lead on the creature but Lexa knew it would catch up fast, they needed somewhere to hide. She couldn’t draw it towards the village, that would just cause more havoc, instead she ran in the opposite direction.

Suddenly she saw a yellow mist in the corner of her eyes, and she knew it was the fog. Now they were out running two enemies, she continued pulling Clarke, but she felt their hands slip from each other. When she looked back Clarke was on the ground.

“Clarke, we need to hurry!” she grabbed the girl helping her off the ground, but she didn’t move. “Clarke!”

“Wait.” Clarke got back on the ground knocking her fist on it and Lexa thought she must’ve hit her head because she was being crazy, “There’s something here.” She quickly moved the grass and sticks until she found a rusted door. “Help me open it.” Lexa quickly grabbed the bar using all her strength until she heard to door pop. “It’s a bunker, get in!” Clarke could see the fog catching up to them so as soon as they were both inside, she slammed the door shut.

The bunker was small probably built for one person, but it looked unused, maybe the person who owned it didn’t make it in time. She found a small lamp and turned it on, luckily it was battery operated and it hadn’t been used.

“This place is pretty stocked up on supplies.” Clarke said as she continued exploring, there were books and notebook. She even found colored pencils which was something she’s never seen in person before. On the ark they just had dark led or charcoal and that’s what she used to draw.

“Do you draw?” Lexa asks watching Clarke admire the pencils,

“I do, before all of this I taught a few Art classes on the Ark when I wasn’t helping my mom in medical.”

“Anya said you were a healer.”

Clarke smiled remembering her little white lie, that feels like forever ago, yet it had only been a couple of weeks.

“Officially I’m not a doctor, I never finished the schooling, but I picked up a lot helping out.” Clarke explained,

“Do you think you would have become a doctor if your home wasn’t dying?”

Clarke thought over the question as she walked to join the girl on the bed,

“That was always the plan, but now that I’m down here I’m starting to think medicine is not my calling.”

“Perhaps you should be the official leader of your people, you’re very good at it.”

Clarke smiled, “I’m not a leader and when this is over, I plan on letting Kane run things the way he wants.”

“What will you do when it’s over then?” Lexa asks searching blue, they were sitting really close together and Lexa’s heart was beating out of her chest, but she ignored it.

“I have no idea.”

Lexa nodded fidgeting her fingers in her lap, this was frustrating she was not a nervous person, but the blonde was doing something to her, and she hated not being able to control it,

“Well what do you want?” Lexa asked,

“My parent’s back, I can’t past that.”

“You should visit Polis.” Lexa said, “It’s our Capital, I think you would enjoy it there. We have lots of art from the old world and even some supplies. Maybe- maybe I could show you around.”

Clarke looked up at the commander falling apart at the sight, she seemed so vulnerable and genuine. Did she really want Clarke to visit her home? Does that mean Clarke isn’t alone in feeling whatever it is that they were feeling?

“I would like that.” She smiled, her eyes catching sight of her plump lips and she wanted nothing more than to know if they would feel as amazing as she imagined,

Lexa nodded seeing Clarkes eyes flicker to her lips and she wanted to run, she needed to run but she couldn’t unless she wanted to die from acid fog so instead she got up from the bed and started looking at the books.

“Do you like reading?” Clarke asked her and Lexa nodded,

“I have many books in my home in Polis, many of them survived even after bombs and some were written over the years by local writers.”

“What’s your favorite genre?”

She could see Clarke getting up to join her on the floor by the books and she wanted to run again.

“I like most genres.”

“Even romance?” Clarke smiled,

“Especially romance.” Lexa admitted, some of her favorite novels were romance but she did enjoy other genres.

“You and my mom would get along well, she loves anything romance book, movies you name it.”

“Movie?”

“Oh god.” She laughed, “Anya asked the same thing and I completely blanked, it’s like people acting out words. Maybe I can show you one soon if Raven gets it to work.”

“Sounds interesting.” Lexa replied, she was still very new to all the technology the sky people used but it did intrigue her.

“If you like romance you must have many people banging down your door trying to court you.” Court? Why the hell did I say that Clarke thought. Clearly, she’s fishing for information but what is this the 1800's?

“If there are, I haven’t noticed, I haven’t been with anyone since Costia.” Clarke instantly hated herself for bringing any of this up,

“I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

“It’s ok. I’m sure you have many suitors though.”

Clarke laughed, “None I’m interested in.” she moved closer to Lexa hoping she wasn’t overstepping, Lexa didn’t back away she just stared her eyes flicking to her lips every so often.

She wanted to kiss her, but she’s never kissed anyone before, and this wasn’t just anyone. This was the leader, The Commander of 11 clans and what if she messed up, or her lips did something weird or Lexa pulls away? She knew she couldn’t handle a rejection so last minute she pulled away looking back to the books, catching Lexa sigh out of the corner of her eye. ‘Probably a sigh of relief.’ She thought to herself.

“The fog should have passed by, now right?” Clarke asks standing up and walking to the latter.

“Yes.”

Clarke climb the latter opening the door and the air was clear so she got out, in the distance she could see a huge animal laying in the middle of the woods.

“The Pauna.” Lexa said closing the door to the bunker, “The fog probably killed it when it was chasing us, pity it would’ve been good meet and fur.”

The walk back to the village was quiet, annoyingly quiet, Lexa wanted to say something, but she didn’t know what. She was sure Clarke was going to kiss her but then she didn’t, and she wondered if she read the situation wrong. Not only had the blonde said she wanted her to tie her up, but she was almost going to kiss her and now everything’s all confusing and Lexa didn’t know what to think.

When they returned Clarke saw Raven sitting by the radio, but it didn’t look like good news.

“Nothing?” she asked, and the brunette shook her head,

“Not yet but he’ll get It done. Where have you been?”

“Me and Lexa got caught in the acid fog, so we had to run, we found a bunker and hid there.” Clarke explained,

“Was the fog as bad as they’ve said?”

“It killed a 10-foot gorilla on steroids, so I’d say yes.”

“Oh.” Raven replied, “Why does Lexa look like a sad puppy?”

Clarke turned around seeing the woman talking with Anya, she did look sort of sad and Clarke wondered if it was because of her. Maybe she was sad because she brought up Costia then almost kissed her like an idiot.

“I don’t know.” She mumbled and Raven eyed her suspiciously, something was definitely up. “How are the bombs coming?”

“Not good. Everything I need is back in Arkadia, so I’ll have to go back.”

“We’ll go together then.” Clarke replied, “Just let me grab a few things and talk to Octavia and we’ll go.”

“I can go alone you know, and Octavia isn’t here she’s out training with Indra.”

“I want to come; I need a change of scenery and we have a plan we just have to wait for Bellamy to make contact.” Plus, she wanted to give Lexa space, clearly, she upset her so a couple days apart might make things better.

It was still light outside which was good, they could probably make it back before dark if they left soon. She packed a few things and grabbed her bag before meeting Raven out front.

When she got out, she saw Lexa and Anya still talking so she took it as the opportunity to tell Lexa they were leaving.

“Going somewhere Skai girl?” Anya asks and Lexa looked confused,

“Yes, me and Raven have to go back to Arkadia. She is making bombs that will disable the dam and she needs some supplies.”

“How long will you be gone?” Lexa asked,

“I’m not sure, but we should be back soon hopefully Bellamy will make contact.” Clarke went in her bag pulling out a small radio, “Here, we can talk using the radio just in case there’s news. Anya can teach you how to use it.” Lexa nodded taking the radio from her hands,

“I’ll send guards with you; you’ll get there faster on a horse.”

“I was thinking maybe we could send Indra to the Skai peoples camp with some warriors so we could all train together.” Anya suggested, “It would be good for use to learn to fight together.”

“I agree.” Lexa nodded, “Discuss it with Indra when she returns.” Anya nodded,

“Ready?” Raven asked joining them,

“Yeah.” Clarke nodded taking one last look at Lexa who was already looking at her, but she couldn’t decipher the look, it was like her eyes were saying something that she couldn’t understand. Maybe it was sadness? But why would she be sad?

Being away from each other might be exactly what they needed, they both had feelings they didn’t know how to handle. They needed to figure that out, but they were in the middle of a war and of all the important things going on that would have to wait.

As Lexa said she supplied them with two guards and a horse for her and Raven, she wanted to give them separate ones, but Raven was too nervous to ride alone. Clarke had only ridden twice with Anya and she enjoyed it even though the first time she almost fell off and Anya laughed at her. Now she could at least ride on her own which was a plus.

An hour into the 3-hour ride Raven asked to take a break, something about motion sickness and needing water.

“You’re so dramatic.” Clarke watched the girl bend over catching her breath as if she just ran a marathon. 

“I think I hate riding horses.”

“You think?” she laughed,

She handed Raven her water laughing more at the girl’s antics, they continued talking for a second before mounting again. They started moving when Clarke heard a groan behind her, she turned seeing one of the guards slumped on the horse with a gun shot would on his chest.

“Raven get down now.”

“Who the hell?” Raven asked as they hid behind the horses for cover while the other guards scanned the woods.

“Mountain men.” She mumbled,

She heard another groan then a man in a white suit appeared with his gun, before she could react, she saw a knife fly in his leg. She turned around seeing Octavia and Indra running towards them.

“Finish it.” Indra yelled to her and Octavia took her knife from the mans leg slitting his throat.

 **“We got another one!”** Another grounder brought a different man from out of the trees, he had a white suit on to but his had a tear and she could see he was freaking out.

“Kill him too.” Indra ordered Octavia,

“Wait” Clarke said moving towards the man, “Don’t kill him, he’s from mount weather we need to take him back to Arkadia and question him. Find a patch kit.” Raven found the kit and Clarke patched him up quickly hoping she was making the right call.

“Clarke.” Octavia called holding a paper,

“What is that?” she asked walking over to the girl,

“Clarke, I think you and Lexa were the targets.” She said before handing over the paper.

It was a picture of her and Lexa standing in the woods with a circle over their faces, and as crazy as it sounds her first thought wasn’t about them being hunted. It was how beautiful looked the girl looked and that’s when Clarke knew.

_She was fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm off to wash out the coconut oil that's been in my hair for literally 10 hours hope you enjoyedd!!!!!!!!!!


	9. Line of Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> long chapter enjoyyyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trig terms  
> Branwoda- stupid/idiot  
> skaiprisa- sky princess
> 
> Kane is kind of like Abby is season 2 where she's like Clarke you're not in charge but like she really was also if it wasn't clear Jaha is not a good person in this story like at all!

As soon as they crossed into Arkadia Clarke was barking out orders first she needed Jackson, the man had radiation burns and she needed him to do a transfusion. Then she sent Raven off to rig up an airlock chamber so they could actually help the man. She also had the grounder that was shot ran off to medical, but it wasn’t looking good.

Indra and Octavia went back to TonDC to warn Lexa since they were the ones these people were actually looking for and Clarke wasn’t sure what to think about that. The whole ride to Arkadia she stared at the picture wondering if Dante and his people were afraid. If they were sending people out to kill them, they must actually be scared that they’ll lose so they must be doing something right.

“Clarke it’s done.” Raven said running up to her,

“Ok, Jackson get him into the airlock and start.” Jackson nodded before running off, “You go to the radio just in case Bellamy makes contact.”

“What will you do?”

“Help Jackson, with my mom gone and most of the other trained medics taken to mount weather he needs all the help he can get.”

“Ok, I’ll let you know if I hear anything.”

* * *

The transfusion was successful, and the mountain man was in the airlock chamber radiation free. Raven did a good job as usual. He still hadn’t woken but Clarke was prepared to wait.

“Clarke, you have to see this.”

She walked over to Jackson peering over to the papers he was holding filled with medical jargon she could barley understand.

“What is it?” she asked,

“This is his blood, there are genetic marker anomalies that can only come from someone who was born on the Ark."

“Ok, it’s from the transfusion.”

“No, I took this before and that’s not it, if what you say is true about them needing transfusions every so often just to survive in the mountain, I’m afraid we have a problem.”

“What do you mean?” The last thing she needed was more problems,

“Since we were born on the ark our blood can metabolize radiation far greater than the grounders because we’re used to solar radiation. If what I think is true, then our blood could be a cure all for them but it’s all hypothetical. He had a suit on so he’s still effected by the radiation but with a few treatments I think it could work.”

“Do you think they know that?” Clarke asked,

“It’s likely.” Jackson sighed,

“So there bleeding our people as well as the grounders.” Clarke was falling down the rabbit hole now,

“If I’m right they won’t need the grounders.”

* * *

Clarke rushed to Raven hoping Bellamy had radioed or if anything had changed since they last spoke. She was freaking out and she didn’t know what to do, they were bleeding their people and probably to death. They were running out of time.

“Anything?” She asked Raven who shook her head, “Anya radioed though, Lexa's sending Indra and her team here to train, and she didn’t say this but also to protect us. What’s wrong?”

“Jackson found traces of our people’s blood in the man from mount weather.” Clarke explained, “He said it’s possible our blood could cure them, like they won’t need treatments anymore.”

Raven soaked in her words trying to excuse every bad thought, they needed to be positive but the longer this went on the harder it was getting.

“It’s over Raven.”

“No! You don’t get to give up Clarke! They took you and I didn’t give up, we’re getting them back.” She yelled,

“What if they’re already dead?”

“They’re not.”

“You don’t know that!” Clarke yelled, “I shouldn’t have left.”

“Well you did and now we have to fight so stop being so negative we don’t know anything for a fact yet.”

“Raven, this is Bellamy can you hear me?”

Both girls froze turning to the radio,

“Raven, this is Bellamy can you hear me?”

“Bell?” Clarke said grabbing the radio as quick as she could,

“Clarke?”

“You made it.” She had to stop her voice from cracking and the tears from running down her face, “Are you ok?”

“I’m ok but that’s it for the good news, I can’t talk long but things aren’t good here. Our people are disappearing, and they’ve been locked in a separated room.”

“But they’re alive?” Clarke asks,

“For now, Maya says they’re using our blood for transfusions but Clarke they have people outside without suits. Maya says our blood is curing them.”

Clarke sighed hoping it wouldn’t be true,

“Maya is there?” She asked confused,

“I would be dead if it weren’t for her, she also helped your dad set up the SOS message.”

“Is he there?” She asked looking up at Raven who looked as nervous as her,

“Clarke!” she heard Jake say and instantly both of them started crying

“Dad? Are you ok?”

“I’m ok for now, I’m so sorry we didn’t take you more serious Clarke. You were right about these people. Please tell me Raven is with you.”

Clarke smiled handing the girl the radio,

“I’m here Jake.”

“Thank god, I was so worried about you. Bellamy tells me you’re fixing everything up.”

“They couldn’t survive with out me Jake.” She smiled,

“Damn straight,”

“Where’s Abby is she ok?”

“She’s with the others for now, Maya got me out before they locked down the dorm. I’m going to stay with Bellamy and start working on getting that acid fog down. Maya is also going to work on getting up a portable radio so we can check in when we need to.”

“Anything else you guys can give us?” Raven asked,

“The grounders have at least a thousand people in here, basically a whole army if we can free them, we’ll have help on the inside.” Bellamy said,

“Trojan horse, smart.” Raven smiled, “Worry about the acid fog first then we’ll discuss that.”

“Look guys it’s only a matter of time before they notice Jake is gone and I don’t belong here and when they do, we need to be ready.”

“We’ll try to keep them looking at us but the faster the acid fog gets turned off the quicker we can attack.”

“Got it, we have to go I’ll try to contact soon.” Jake said,

“Ok, we love you dad.”

“I love you too girls, take care of each other.”

“Always.” Raven replied before the radio cut off,

Clarke felt a little bit of the pressure lift from her shoulders, she had confirmation that her parents were alive and that was enough for right now. They were ok. She hugged Raven who was wiping her own tears, this was the first time she had talked to Jake since they left for the ground and she was glad they got this moment.

“I knew Bell would come through.”

“You’re the optimist, I worry about what could go wrong.” Clarke smiled,

“It’s a good balance.”

“Hey,” Octavia said entering the room, “Anything?”

“He made it.” Clarke said seeing the relief flood the younger girls face,

“And he’s ok?”

“He's with my dad right now.”

“Lincoln still hasn’t come back; he should’ve been back by now.”

“I’m sure he’s fine O, if he’s not back soon we’ll look I promise.” Clarke said and the girl nodded,

“Kane told me to tell you the prisoner isn’t talking; he just keeps repeating his name and rank.”

“I’ll go there now, are the grounders here?”

“Training with the guard right now.” Octavia said,

“Ok, Raven radio Anya and let her know we made contact I’m going to talk to our friend.”

* * *

“Carl Emerson, Mount Weather security detail.” The man said for the 100th time it seems like,

Clarke sat back patiently watching Kane repeatedly ask the man questions only for the same response. At this point it was getting annoying especially since they had no time to spare, every minute was precious.

“He’s clearly not going to tell us anything.” She groaned, “I say we open the door.”

“We’re not killing him Clarke.” Kane said firmly and she rolled her eyes,

“We need information he clearly is not going to give us; I don’t have time to entertain this. You have to make hard choices to lead Kane.”

“Except you’re not the leader, I am!”

“Then act like it!” She yelled back, “You think I give damn about the title? I don’t want to be Chancellor Kane I want to get our people out of that place alive and I can make the decisions you’re not willing to.”

“What like killing Jaha?”

“Exactly, you were willing to let us all die to save a murderer among other things. You lack back bone Kane; I think you’re a good guy but you’re not a good leader. Our people need someone strong who is willing to do whatever it takes even if it means killing someone for a greater purpose.”

“And that’s you?”

“I meant what I said, I don’t want the title, but I will do whatever it takes to take down the mountain even if it means defying you.” She moved towards the airlock chamber Kane blocking her,

“I won’t let you kill him, not this time.”

“You’re quick to defend Jaha, Kane but if you knew- there are things you don’t about him and if you did you wouldn’t care that he’s dead.” Clarke said trying to push her feelings down, Kane clearly noticing.

“What did he do?” he asked, “Clarke what did he do?”

“It doesn’t matter, I’ll leave him for now but if he doesn’t talk soon, I’m killing him.”

She made her way back to Raven hoping had something for her to do, sitting around waiting wasn’t doing her any good.

When she arrived, she saw her and O sitting at the table looking at some device she didn’t recognize.

“What is that?” Clarke asked sitting with the girls,

“A tone generator.” Raven answered turning it on, “They found it with Emerson’s stuff.”

“What is it for?” Clarke asked,

“Reapers.” Octavia answered, “I don’t know for sure, but Lincoln said they use this high-pitched noise to subdue them while they get injected.”

“That makes sense, it’s a pretty high frequency.”

“Can you make more like this?” Clarke asked, “If we can use this to restrain the reapers, we can knock them out until we can cure them, and it will give us another entrance to mount weather using the tunnels.”

“This is easy if we have the supplies, I should have them done soon with wicks help.” Raven shrugged, “What going on with our prisoner friend?”

“He’s useless and Kane won’t let me kill him.” She huffed,

“Kane’s back on his high horse then.”

“He’s getting to be quite annoying, when this is over, I really think they should hold an election to get him out.” Clarke sighed,

“Kane’s not so bad he’s just stupid, and he’s better than Jaha.” Raven pointed out,

“Jaha was a psycho and Kane is a pussy, clearly the ark knows how to pick em.” Clarke added and the other girls laughed, “Seriously, his moral high ground isn’t going to get us anywhere, and I still need to figure out how to get the mountain to keep their eyes on us and not Bell.” Clarke thought of all her options not that there were many, there never was these days.

“Maybe Emerson will be good for some after all.” Clarke said smiling to herself, “Octavia get Indra and her warriors tell her to meet me at the airlock chamber in an hour.”

Octavia nodded running off and Raven looked at the blonde questionably,

“What do you have planned?”

“We’re going to send Mount Weather a little message.” She smiled, “I need your brain.”

* * *

An hour later Clarke and her small grounder army were storming through Arkadia straight to Emerson’s airlock. She knew Kane wouldn’t be happy, but his happiness has never been a priority for her, so she didn’t care.

When they arrived, she saw a guard raise his gun,

“Don’t.” She ordered him, nodding for Octavia to point a gun at him, “He’s coming with us. Get dressed the door will be opened in 2 minutes.”

Emerson looked at her skeptically before putting on the hazmat suit making sure the patch was fixed before nodding.

They got to the gate and Clarke could see Kane standing with his own little army trying to block her.

“What the hell are you doing now Clarke?” He asked almost exhaustedly,

“Something you’re too weak to do, it’s called being the leader. Emerson here is going to send a little message for us.”

“That’s not happening, Guards take the prisoner back to the airlock.” The guards moved towards the man but where stopped by the grounder’s swords and Octavia gun which she pointed directly at Kane. “Tell them to stand down.”

“Not happening.” Indra told him and Clarke wanted to smile so bad,

“I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt since you’re an older man and your hearing may not be what it used to, but this is the last time I’ll say it. You may be the Chancellor, but I am in charge. If they move Octavia will shoot you and the guards will be taken out as well.” She watched as Kane stared at her, but she wasn’t bluffing, she could tell he was pissed.

“Stand down.” He yelled,

“Good choice.”

She waited for the guards to move before they preceded to the front gate,

“Listen up can you hear me cause I won’t be repeating this.” Clarke turned to the man,

“Loud and Clear.” He replied,

“I have a message for your President, I’m coming for him. You're watching us, but you haven't seen a thing. Our army is bigger than you think and if even if you could find it your acid fog can’t hurt them. He has one last chance, let our people go and maybe I’ll let your people live if not I have no problem seeing how well your people can breathe when I irradiate the whole mountain. So, let our people go or die or it’s just that simple.” She smiled,

“I got it.”

“It’s an eight hour walk to Mount weather? “She asked looking at the oxygen tank,

“Yes.”

“Well you’ll do it in six.” She let out two hours of air before letting the tank go,

“Six hours? That's not enough. How am I supposed to deliver your message?" he said,

“Sounds like you’ve got a problem Carl Emerson.” Clarke replied, “Oh and if that wasn’t incentive enough to hurry my friend made you this.” She took the bracelet out of her bag and snapped it on the man’s arm. “Consider it a parting gift, It was designed to take vitals, but I had her turn it into a bomb of sorts she has a thing for explosives, we have no clue if it will actually work but if I were you, I wouldn’t want to find out. It’s set to go off in six hours and thirty minutes, see I even gave you time to try and get it off.”

“You’re crazy!”

“You better go, I’d recommend running it’s the perfect weather for it!” Clarke waved at the man as he started running into the trees.

“How is that supposed to help Bellamy?” Octavia asked,

“I just told them we have a secret army, if they’re smart, they’ll start looking for it.” Clarke said before walking off ignoring Kane’s glare and the other people who stood around watching.

* * *

**_The next day_ **

“Anything?” Clarke asked Raven who was making tone generators with Wick and Murphy was helping out,

“Not yet.” Murphy answered,

“Stop worrying, aren’t you supposed to go back to TonDC today?” Raven asked,

“Yes, but I’d rather be here I want to know what’s happening.”

“I’ll radio you, anytime I find out something you’ll be the first to know. They need you in TonDC to start going over plans, this is sort of the endgame Clarke. As soon as Bellamy turns off the fog we’re going.”

She knew Raven was right, but she still wanted to stay and sit by the radio all day just in case her dad or Bellamy have any new developments.

“Raven you there?”

“I’m here Bell, what’s up?”

“They’ve started taking our people two at a time from the dorms, we tried to follow but they went to a restricted area. Maya thinks we could get them out using the trash shoot.”

“What about the fog?” Clarke asks?

“Your dads working on that, listen I need to get them off level five. Maya says there is an upper level that they don’t use if I can get them up there and barricade them it will buy us time until we disable the acid fog.”

“How do you plan to do that they’ll be guards everywhere.” Clarke replied,

“I know that’s why I’m going to irradiate level 5, they can’t breath the air and it will give me enough time to get them out.”

“Your going to kill them?” Murphy asked,

“They evacuated level five, it’s only our people and their guards.”

“Well get it done, Raven will help you once you reach where you need to go.” Clarke said, “After that you guys need to get that acid fog down.”

“Where are you going?” Raven asked her,

“To talk to our lovely Chancellor.”

* * *

Kane wasn’t her biggest fan and vice versa but they needed to start working together. She needed to know when this is done, he’ll be the leader everyone needs because she doesn’t plan on being around to find out. The last thing she wanted was to stay in Arkadia and once her parents were safe and here, she planned on finding her own path. Wherever that may be.

“Kane do you have a minute?”

Kane who was sitting at his desk sighed and nodded for her to come in.

“I’m not here to argue with you so relax.” Clarke said before sitting across from the man. “I’m leaving to go back to TonDC tonight and I need to know things will be good here. I need to know you’ll do what it takes to take care of everyone, I know you’re a good guy Kane but it’s time to start being a good leader. You got us here, you saved us now help us survive or everything we did was for nothing.”

“I know what you think of me Clarke, but I can make tough choices, how we lived on The Ark shouldn’t have to be how we live here. You grew up there and maybe that is why you’re so tough but now we can do better. We can be better and when this war is over, and we get our people back we will.”

Clarke nodded, “What we do to survive doesn’t define us Kane, I hope you remember that.” Clarke got up to leave,

“Wait.” Kane said stopping her, “I don’t know what Thelonious did to you but I’m sorry for even putting you in that situation. You’re an extraordinary mind Clarke with a lot of life to live and when this is over, I hope you take advantage of that.”

“I will.” She nodded, “Now I’m off to win a war.”

Kane smiled, “Then may we meet again.”

“I’m sure we will.”

* * *

**TONDC**

It had been a couple of days since Clarke left and confirmed Bellamy was inside and everyone was ready to fight. Lexa would admit she was eager to march on the mountain to, but they needed to wait. The fog wasn’t down yet, and they needed to wait. With nothing to do Lexa called for the clan leaders to join her in TonDC, Clarke would be back soon, and they needed to smooth out the details of their plan.

“Raven radioed, the fog is still up but she thinks they will have it down soon.” Anya said,

“Any word on will when Clarke will be arriving?” she asked ignoring the look Anya was giving her,

“No, she didn’t say.”

Anya knew something was going on between the two, but she didn’t know what and Lexa wasn’t talking. Granted she didn’t ask but she knew how fragile the conversation would be if Lexa was opening her heart again. But she also couldn’t ignore the fact that her friend was clearly going through a difficult time.

“You care for her.” Anya said more as a statement than a question,

Lexa looked down fidgeting with her hands because apparently that was a constant thing for her when it came to the blonde. Her feelings were a mess and love is weakness wasn’t helping like it did before.

“I don’t want to.” She murmured and Anya sat next to her,

“I know it’s hard Lexa, but you are allowed to love again, do you really think Costia would want you to live like this forever? Not letting people in and only focusing on being Heda, you deserve a chance at happiness, but you won’t get it if you push everyone away.”

“I don’t want it to seem like I’m forgetting her and when I see Clarke the pain of losing Costia doesn’t hurt so much and that’s not right. I loved her and being with Clarke would only dishonor that.”

“No, it won’t, you’re not meant to mourn forever and if there is someone who is making it even the slightest bit easier you should cherish that.”

“It doesn’t matter, Clarke doesn’t share my feelings.” She sighed remember the almost kiss they had in the bunker,

“Did she say that?”

“Well not with words but I thought she was going to kiss me then she didn’t and after that she left to go back to her camp.” Lexa explained, she sounded like a child with a crush and she hated it. Everything about this she hated, she hated being vulnerable she hated not being able to control her own feelings and she hated not having control period.

“Don’t assume anything before you actually talk to her.”

“We in the middle of a war Anya, my feelings should be the last thing to worry about.”

“You’re wrong, if anything it should make you want to tell her more.” Anya said, “Clarke gave me this advice about Raven, and it applies to you too, we’re going into a war that we might not make it out of so don’t waste any time.”

Lexa’s never been shy, and she still isn’t but thought of actually telling Clarke how she feels makes her nerves frenzied. With Costia she initiated the conversation but now it would be her move. In days’ time they would be going to war and they could die, or they could win either way Lexa knew she wanted Clarke by her side if she would have her.

The blonde captured her heart unexpectedly and quickly and even if it wasn’t love yet she knew it wouldn’t be long until she got there. Clarke intrigued her beyond belief, and she wanted to know everything about the girl down to her favorite color. She wanted to be with Clarke so if she had to make the first move that is what she will do.

* * *

**ARKADIA**

“How’s the tone generator?” Raven asked Wick, he was one of the only other competent people that made it to the ground, and she needed all the help she could get.

“We got 4 but supplies are low, I’ll go see if I can scrounge for parts. Maybe I’ll find something.” He shrugged before exiting the room Clarke quickly replacing him.

“Anything new?” she asked sitting with the brunette,

“We may only be able to make 4 tone generators, but the bombs are almost ready for the dam.”

“And the fog?” she asked,

“Nothing yet but Jake will get it done.”

_Radio_

“Rae come in,”

“What’s up B?”

“I’m almost there.”

“What’s going on?” Clarke asks,

“He’s in the vents, he’s going to irradiate level 5 so the others can get to the top floor. I’m going to talk him through it.”

“I’m here.”

Raven talked him through the process if she was right all they needed to do was pull the outside air in to reverse the air filtration system.

“How do I know if it worked?” he asked,

“WARNING WARNING CONTAMINATION BREECH.”

I’d say it worked, get out of there.”

Bellamy continued moving through the vents until he stopped hearing a noise coming from under him.

“Is that a drill?” Raven asked and Clarke pales,

“For bone marrow extraction” they listened hearing other voices ones Clarke didn’t recognize,

"You ready for the last treatment you'll ever need, Lieutenant?"

"You have no idea. I've waited my whole life to breathe fresh air."

“That’s Emerson.” Clarke noticed, “Guess the bomb was a no go.”

“You’re lucky that bracelet only took off a couple of fingers, you could’ve lost your whole hand.”

“Yay! Win for Raven.” The brunette cheered,

“The blonde leader is crazy; I wouldn’t underestimate her Mr. President.” Emerson replied,

“They turn people into reapers and hold people in cages and I’m crazy?” Clarke scoffed,

"Let's get back to this secret army that she claims to have. Did she tell you anything that might help us find it?"

“That sounds like the president’s son, not Dante.” Clarke points out,

"Stop drilling, please."

"The window for extraction after death is incredibly short."

"I only need a minute."

"No, sir. Nothing about the army. She did say she was coming for you and that if we let her people go, she might let our people live."

"It's a little late for that."

"I'm sorry I failed, sir but we have more of their people in the cages. We could easily get their blood without killing them, maybe they would even be open to a deal.”

“Do you really think they would make a deal with us after all of this? We use the bone marrow from the people we have and kill the rest along with the savages. After that we take the ground.”

“I’m killing him.” Clarke mumbled to herself,

“Tonight, marks the first step, Whitman and Thompson just radioed in. Apparently, there's a war council meeting happening tonight in one of their villages, and all the leaders are gonna be there."

"Sir, I feel good. Let me take a team out and support them."

“No, you’re injured from now on you’re in the control room. Plus, they have a better chance not to be spotted alone.”

“Sir, Whitman and Thompson are good snipers, but they can't take out that many targets alone."

“They only have two targets, Clarke and the commander if she dies the coalition does too and the savages will start killing each other again instead looking at us. Maybe we’ll even get lucky and they kill the rest of the people from the ark. We just have to wait for him to confirm they’re both in TonDC. Once those two are dead they have grenades and bomb launchers maybe do a little damage to the village.”

“What if they get spotted sir?”

“As long as the commander and Clarke are dead I don’t care.” 

“Shit.” Raven murmured,

“Please tell you heard that.” Bellamy said as soon as he was out of ear shot,

“Loud and Clear.” Clarke answered, “Just worry about getting our people to safety and getting the acid fog down, we’ll deal with the sniper.”

“Be safe.” He said,

“You too, radio when you can.” She said before turning off the radio, “Radio Anya give her a heads up.”

“On it.” Raven picked up the radio, “Anya it’s Raven do you copy?”

“Anya it’s Raven are you there?”

The pit in Clarke’s stomach was growing the longer there was no answer. Could they be too late? Did the sniper not wait for Clarkes appearance before taking out Lexa?

“Anya, it’s urgent so I really need you to pick up.” Raven repeated, “She always answers on the first call. Something must be jamming the signal.”

“But we were just talking to Bellamy two seconds ago.”

“That’s because we’re using Mount weathers towers, when the Ark first landed me, and Wick set up a beacon. Mostly to see if we could find Mecca station but it’s what I’ve been using to connect our radios too. They’re jamming our signal and if they find Bellamy, they’ll cut his radio too.”

“If the radio won’t work then I have to go warn them.”

“Absolutely not Clarke! You’re a target too, if they see you, they’ll shoot, and we have no clue where either of them is or where to even look.”

“I can’t just sit here Raven.” She sighed, “We can’t warn them without the radio, and I can’t just let her die.”

For the past few days Raven had been trying to figure out if there was something up with Clarke and Lexa. Sure, Clarke could just be worried about her, but it seemed like more.

“Do you like her?”

Clarke froze at the question not expecting it at all, was she that obvious? Sure, she just met Lexa, but she did like her, they had a connection one that she didn’t know if the other girl felt but she had to put her feelings aside. She couldn’t let Lexa die because that meant the alliance would break and they would never get their people back. That’s why she was worried and that’s why she needed to go warn them, not because of her feelings but for her people. Right?

“Raven, we need her to get our people.” She said finally, and Raven just stared. Raven knew her better than anyone obviously she didn’t believe that.

“Fine then I’m coming with you.”

“No, you need to stay here and finish the bombs once it’s done all we need is the acid fog down and we can attack.”

“You’re not leaving me Clarke!” She yelled, “Especially when I can’t even radio to know if everything is ok.”

She sighed pulling the girl into a hug,

“I have to go alone Raven; I need you here to finish your job. Once it’s done come to TonDC where I’ll be waiting after I kill these fucking snipers and save the day.” She smiled,

“I hate this.” She said sounding defeated, “I hate all of this.”

“Me too, but soon it will be over, and we’ll have them back and we can finally do what we planned. We can get out of here and go wherever you want, even though I have a feeling that you might want to go to a certain someone’s village.” She smirked,

“And I have a feeling you’d follow a certain commander just about anywhere.” She said back and Clarkes face instantly went red, but she tried to cover it,

“I hate you.”

“We’ll discuss your crush on the commander later, be safe and don’t die.”

“I won’t.”

* * *

**TONDC**

The leaders were arriving one by one and Lexa greeted them all shaking their hands and gesturing them into the meeting room. She hated this part of being the commander, pleasantries weren’t her thing she typically like to get straight to the point and not waste any time. It isn’t often that she meets with the leaders most of the time she is dealing with their ambassadors back in Polis. She knew today would be filled with questions and concerns, but she hoped to put their minds at ease. They had their inside man and soon they would attack the mountain and free their people. For the first time in decades the mountain would no longer cast fear over them and taunt them with reapers, they would take back their power for good.

“Heda.” Elena bowed winking at Lexa who smiled,

“Chief Elena kom Trikru thank you for joining us.” Lexa replied,

“It’s an honor, will Skaikru’s leader be joining us today?” she asked wondering if there had been any new developments between her and the blonde since she left,

“Clarke should be here soon.” Lexa said but she had no clue if that were true, Raven wasn’t picking up the radio and Clarke had still not made an appearance. Maybe she wouldn’t come until the battle starts, which meant they couldn’t talk like she had hoped.

“She’ll be here.” Anya mumbled to her, “She said she was coming.”

She wanted to believe that, but they would just have to wait and see.

They stood and greeted the rest of the leaders until the last one being the dessert clan arrived. Clarke still hadn’t appeared so Lexa figured she would just have to start without her.

“I can go keep them distracted if you want to wait a few more minutes.” Anya suggested seeing Lexa’s face fall,

“No, we have to start they’ve been waiting long enough.” Lexa said motioning for her to walk.

“Heda.” Octavia bowed before walking closer to the girl,

“Octavia.”

“I need you to follow me, it’s urgent.” She said quietly trying to not to alarm anyone, but Lexa was already on edge especially with all the clans together like this.

“Why?” Anya asked,

“I don’t know specifics, Clarke asked me to find you and bring you to the back. She said to be careful try not to be noticed.”

Lexa nodded, “Follow me.”

She had no clue what was happening, but she trusted Clarke and clearly something wasn’t right.

They quietly walked to the side of Anya’s home before sneaking out the back and into the woods where she saw the blonde waiting. She looked stunning her blonde hair tied up in a ponytail and a blue jacket that matched her eyes perfectly. Lexa couldn’t help but admire her but one look at her face and she knew something was wrong.

“Clarke.”

“Thank god you’re ok.” She said more to herself, but everyone heard.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Lex asked,

“Me and Raven overheard a conversation in mount weather while we were talking to Bellamy. He has two snipers in the woods with orders to kill us and pretty much bomb TonDC with grenades and other things.”

Lexa digested the information; this would be the mountains second attempt to kill her and Clarke in a week. And wait, was Clarke worried about her?

“We need to get you both out of here.” Anya said breaking the silence,

“No, we can’t run.” Clarke said, “If they don’t see us, they’ll know somethings wrong.”

“Then what do you suggest?” Anya asks,

Clarke looked at Lexa who was in deep thought herself, there was no way she was letting her die today.

“You get Lexa to safety and I’ll take Wells and look for the snipers, they’re here somewhere I just need to kill them before they cause any damage.”

“Absolutely not!” Lexa looked at the blonde, “They are looking for you too Clarke, that’s a suicide mission.”

“Not If I don’t die.” She smiled and Lexa sighed,

“I’m not letting you do that we’ll come up with a different plan.”

“No, we don’t have time to sit here and form a perfect plan we need to do something now.” Clarke argued,

“Me and Anya know the woods, we have a better shot at finding them before you do.” Lexa said,

“No, you could get killed too Lexa!”

Anya and Octavia sat back and watched the two girls go back and forth about how they were going to save each other and if their lives weren’t on the line it would’ve been cute.

“Enough.” Anya interrupted, “You two going back and forth is wasting time.”

Lexa sighed there was no way in hell she was letting Clarke do things her way, but she knew the blonde would continue to fight her every word.

“Fine you can take Wells and go.” Lexa said, “You can't use guns though, it will be too noisy, come inside I’ll give you a sword.”

Clarke nodded a little shocked at Lexa’s words but none the less they had no time to waste. She followed her back inside Anya’s house and up to a bedroom that she assumed was for Lexa. The walls were plain, and it lacked color, but the bed was a good size, and it was filled with furs and pillows.

“Mount weather is jamming us so we can’t talk on the radios anymore.” Clarke said watching Lexa search through a closet. “When the radio wasn’t working i-.” she stopped as she felt green eyes burning into her skin. “I thought I was too late.”

Lexa nodded moving towards the bed with her bag,

“Are you saying you were worried about me?” She asks too scared to look at the blonde,

“I was.”

“Why?” Lexa asked finally facing the girl looking more vulnerable than she’s ever looked,

“Because i- I don’t want anything to happen to you.” She gulped feeling Lexa’s body heat getting closer to her. She couldn’t move all she could do was watch the girl move closer to her until finally their faces were almost touching.

Clarke closed her eyes as she felt the girl’s breath on her lips,

“I don’t want anything to happen to you either Clarke.” She whispered before pressing her lips onto the blondes, her lips were soft and melted into her own perfectly. She wanted this feeling to last forever, but it can’t, not yet. “Which is why I need you here where I know you’ll be safe.” She backed up watching as Clarke realized what she did.

“Lexa!” she yelled feeling the cold metal around her wrist, Lexa handcuffed her to the bed, “Don’t do this, please.”

“I’m sorry Clarke.” Lexa grabbed her sword and a cover for her head and took one last look at the girl before running downstairs and out of the house ignoring the blondes screams.

She took the back exit again finding Anya who was talking with a few guards,

“Come on.” She handed the girl a sword and cover for her head, Anya took it reluctantly not really sure what was happening.

“What did you do?” she asks, she knew Clarke and she also knew she wouldn’t just concede to Lexa without a fight.

“Doesn’t matter we need to go before we lose day light.” Lexa started off for the woods, Anya close behind her.

* * *

“Dammit!” Clarke yelled, it had been 20 minutes since Lexa left and she still couldn’t get the handcuffs off. She recognized them from the ark assuming they must be the ones they used to turn Jaha in.

She tried everything from trying to squeeze her hand through to breaking the bed post, but neither were working. If it came down to it, she would break her damn wrist if she had to.

How could Lexa do this, was their kiss only a distraction so Clarke wouldn’t realize what she was doing? Or did she actually want to kiss her, her feelings were already confusing now this happens.

“My first kiss and I get handcuffed, and not even in the good fun way.” She said to herself,

Clearly getting out of the handcuffs wasn’t happening but all she really need was to get out of the house. She examined the bedframe, it was wood, but she could see one piece was coming lose. Her wrist was already red from pulling but she wasn’t giving up. She continued pulling, the wood getting loser until it finally come off.

“Yes.” The cuffs were still on her wrist, but it didn’t matter, she’ll worry about that later. She grabbed one of the swords from Lexa’s room before running outside. It was getting dark and that didn’t help, she wasn’t as familiar with the woods and she couldn’t alarm the citizens. Luckily, most of them were either inside or occupied with the clan leaders.

She looked around trying to pick a direction to start end, but she had no clue what to do.

“Clarke?” Octavia ran over to the girl grabbing her flaming red wrist, “What the hell?”

“Long story, do you know which direction Lexa went?” She asks,

“No, I thought you were going to look for the shooters.”

“Yeah.” Clarke sighed, “Plans change-.” She was cut off by the sounds of gun shots then a large boom. They started using the grenades. “I have to get to Lexa.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“No!” Clarke yelled, “I need you to get Indra and start evacuating, get as many people as you can into the woods.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Octavia please just do what I say, if you don’t get them out of here, they’ll die. They won’t stop blowing things up until they run out.”

“How do you know the woods are safe?”

“The shooting is coming from over here, start evacuating towards Arkadia I’ll meet you once we kill the shooter.”

Octavia nodded hesitantly,

“Do you have a gun?” Clarke asks,

“Yeah, here.”

“Thank you be safe.” Clarke took the gun before running towards where she heard the gun shots.

It was getting darker and harder to see but she had an idea of where she was, she walked as quiet as she could her gun in her hands. Only stopping when she heard rumbling in the bushes.

Quietly she made her way over to it ready to shoot, but it wasn’t the snipers.

“Lincoln?” the man was hunched over grunting, very much like he was when they first met when he was a reaper. “Lincoln look at me.” She moved closer to the man bending down reaching out, but he grabbed her hand. “You need to fight this.”

“I can’t, you don’t understand.”

“Yes, you can because you’ve done it before, and you don’t have to do it alone.”

"I betrayed Bellamy. He's a prisoner in the mountain because of me."

“Bellamy is fine Lincoln, he made contact he’s helping inside the mountain now. Now you need to get up and fight this because if you don’t, I’ll have to explain to Octavia how you chose to be a coward rather than fight.”

The man looked up releasing Clarkes hand before standing up, she could see his eyes were bloodshot and he had blood covering his clothes.

“We’re under attack from the mountain, Octavia is getting people into the woods towards Arkadia you should go help her.”

“What about you?”

“I’m fine, she needs you more than I do right now.”

“Ok.” He nodded before running towards the village and another explosion went off and Clarke ran in the direction of the noise.

She pushed away any thoughts of Lexa possibly being hurt or worse she couldn’t think about it.

* * *

“It’s getting dark Lexa, maybe we’re not in the right place.” Anya said, they had been walking for twenty minutes but there was no one,

“Unless you have a better plan we have to keep searching.”

“Clarke seemed to be very worried about you when she arrived.” The girl smirked,

“I think we should stop talking.” Lexa said trying not to think about the kiss she just shared with the blonde. It was amazing and passionate, and she ruined it, probably forever.

“Fine.”

“Wait.” Lexa held her arm out stopping the girl nodding to a figure up ahead, it was a man with dark hair and some sort of uniform on. He had a huge gun propped up on a rock and he was talking into a radio.

“Whitman, are the targets confirmed, over.”

“Only one so far. Over.”

“If the other doesn’t show up in then take the shot. Over.”

“Copy that.”

They watched the man tuck the radio into her pocket before looking through something on the gun.

“Do you want the honors?” Anya whispered, “He is here for you and your skaiprisa after all.”

Lexa rolled her eyes before moving towards the man, she was trained for things like this. How to move quiet enough to sneak up on your enemy undetected and kill.

Once she was right behind him, she grabbed his head slitting his throat before he could figure out what was happening. She let him fall to the ground before turning back to Anya.

“Lexa watch out!”

The next thing she knows there a burning feeling in her arm and Anya is pushing past her to the man. The pain was quick, but she could feel blood rushing down her sleeve, and she knew that wasn’t good.

“What have I told you!” Anya yelled, “Always confirm your kill before you turn you back!” the girl frantically looked at Lexa’s arm tying a piece of cloth over it to stop the bleeding, “I’m getting you out of here.”

“No!” Lexa objected, “We’re not leaving until we find the other one.”

These were her people, and they were counting on her, she couldn’t just run like a coward when there’s a chance she could prevent deaths.

“You’re such an Idiot!” Anya sighed, “Come on branwoda.”

They marched on through the woods and Lexa could feel herself getting woozy, likely from all the blood she’s lost.

“Lexa please.”

“I’ll be fine Anya we have to keep going.”

“At least let me tie it up better.” Anya stopped her, taking her head covering and tying it as tight as she can over the other cloth which was already soaked. “Let me go, you need to get back to Clarke and let her help you.”

“Clarke probably doesn’t want to see me right now.” Lexa sighed, “I sort kissed her then used the handcuffs Raven used for Jaha to trap her to the bed post so she couldn’t leave.”

“You really are a branwoda.” She sighed,

“I know.”

“Either way you're going to die if you don’t deal with this soon and I’m not letting that happen.”

Lexa ignored her continuing to walk forward when an explosion went off rocking the whole ground. Smoke covered her vision for a minute but when it cleared, she saw part of the village on fire, they needed to hurry.

She ran forward Anya close behind, but It was becoming hard to keep her balance and her vision was blurred. Then there was another bang which completely knocker her off her feet.

“You have to go kill him.” Lexa said feeling Anya’s arm catching her when she hit the ground,

“I can’t just leave you here, I need to get you out of here first.”

“No, Anya there’s no time please go find him.”

Anya’s head snapped up hearing branches snap and leaves crunch loudly,

“Looks like he found us.” She murmured, she thought through everything she could possibly do but there were many options.

“Can you walk?” she quietly asked Lexa who shook her head,

He walked closer and Anya shielded Lexa the best she could trying to think of something.

“Leave me.” Lexa pleaded, “Both of us don’t need to die here.”

“Not happening.” Anya turned back around facing the man who was raising his gun she quickly got her sword throwing it before picking Lexa up and running. She could here the gun shots behind her, but she zoned it out.

She ran until she reached a spot where the trees were thickest, she could no longer see the man and she didn’t want to run into his line of fire. She sat Lexa down who was barely conscious, and she tried to think of something.

“You do not get to die Lexa!”

Lexa smiled taking the older girl’s hand,

“I was honored when you asked me to be your second you know.”

“Yeah and look where it got you.” She sighed looking at the girl, she was loosing a lot of blood,

“Thank you for picking me.”

“Stop, I know what your doing Lexa. We’re not saying goodbye.”

“Can you tell Clarke-.”

“No!” she interrupted, “You’re going to tell her yourself when I get you out of here so stop talking!”

Anya peaked her head from behind the trees hoping the shooter lost them, but another shot rang out hitting the tree. She reached over grabbing Lexa’s sword and taking a deep breath before running to the next tree over climbing it quickly before the man could notice.

When she was stable on the branch peering down on him, she jumped down landing on his shoulders knocking his gun out of his hands trying to snap his neck, but he was fighting back hard.

Anya has been training her whole life, but this guy was huge and stronger so as quickly she gained the advantage, she lost it. He threw her to the ground wrapping his hands around her neck.

Everything was cloudy and she could barely breath, and he wasn’t letting up. Her smacks and hits didn’t affect him, and she knew soon she’d be dead.

“Die you bitch.” The man said,

“You first.” She heard someone else say before another shot rang out and the hands around her neck disappeared.

“Anya.” Arms rushed to her side and she caught a flash of blonde,

“Clarke?”

“Yes, it’s me are you ok?”

Her vision finally cleared up enough for her to fully see the blonde in front of her.

“I’m fine but Lexa-.”

“Where is she?” Clarke asked looking around the darkness, but she didn’t see anyone else.

“Over here.” Anya led her to a tree where a barely aware Lexa was laying.

“What happened to her?”

“She was shot in the arm.”

Clarke rushed to the wound seeing all the blood, there was so much that it looked black and she needed to get her out of here.

“Clarke?” Lexa smiled at the blonde, “I should’ve known you would get out.”

“Yeah well when I said you could tie me up that’s not what I meant.”

Lexa laughed until everything went black and she felt herself slipping away.

* * *

The next time she opened her eyes she was back in Anya’s house in her room with her arm bandaged and some sort of needle in her arm. Most likely something Clarke did.

“She told me not to let you touch that.”

She looked up seeing Anya sitting across from her bed smiling,

“How do you feel?”

“I’m fine.” She looked outside noticing it was daytime, “Have I been out all night?” Anya face turned worried, “What?”

“Lexa it’s been 6 months.”

“WHAT?!” she yelled, and the other girl laughed,

“Raven told me to try that, she said it would be funny.” She laughed, “She was right.”

“That’s not funny.” Lexa sighed laying back in bed, “How long has it been really?”

“You’ve been out for maybe 16 hours, Raven arrived last night with the bombs for the dam. We’re just waiting for the acid fog to come down.” 

“How many casualties?” she asked hesitantly,

“Under one hundred, Clarke told Octavia to start getting people out so that saved a lot of people.”

Clarke, she remembered seeing her briefly before she passed out, but she couldn’t tell if she was upset or not.

“She’s downstairs, I can send her up.” Anya said,

“Is she upset with me?”

“I wouldn’t say upset, I think she’s mostly trying to figure out if that kiss was real or a ploy so you could trap her.”

“Of course, it was real!” Lexa defended and Anya smiled, “I was trying to keep her safe.”

“Yeah then she ended up saving us.” Anya laughed, “This is the second time she’s saved me, maybe I am a damsel.”

* * *

Meanwhile downstairs Raven and Clarke were waiting anxiously by the radio while Lexa’s mom made them tea. For the past 16 hours she’s been glued to this house just in case something happened with Lexa. She was able to remove the bullet and stopped the bleeding, but she had still lost a lot of blood and once they were back inside where she could see properly, she realized Lexa really did have black blood. Without any knowledge on it she didn’t know if she could use O negative or if it would hurt her. Luckily, one of the clan leaders Luna shares the same blood and was willing to help.

“Here, I promise it’s good.” Elena smiled handing her the cup, she took it with a smile taking a small sip.

“I like it, you make these flavors yourself?” Clarke had been spending a lot of time talking to Elena since they met the other night. She liked her a lot and in so many ways she could see where Lexa got her leadership qualities from.

“Yes, I have a garden and I grow different sorts herbs. Mostly for cooking but I save the sweet ones for tea.”

“I’ve never planted anything before, it sounds relaxing.”

“It is, I will teach you when all of this is over.” Elena smiled,

“Really?” Clarke asked looking at the woman,

“Of course.”

“Look who’s finally awake.” Raven points to the stairs where Lexa is standing,

“You shouldn’t be up yet.” Clarke jumped up walking to the girl, “And I told you not to let her take the needle out!”

“I’m sorry but she is Heda after all.” Anya smiled making her way over to the couch,

“You shouldn’t be up.” Clarke said to Lexa trying to look everywhere but into her eyes, she had been trying to not to think about their kiss but truthfully it was all she could about. She was even almost dreading Lexa waking up because she was sure Lexa would tell her what she already knew. The kiss meant nothing.

“I can’t stay in bed forever Clarke.”

“Well you should at least rest for today.” She said grabbing the girl, “Come on.”

Lexa sighed allowing the blonde to drag her back up the stairs and into her room to put her back in bed again.

“I gave you some medicine so it should help with the pain, I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.” Clarke tucked the girl in her covers before attempting to rush out the door,

“Clarke wait.” Lexa called after the girl, “Can we talk?”

Clarke sighed; she hated those words. Anytime anyone says can we talk it’s almost never good. As much as she would like to run, she knew she would have to face the music sooner or later, she just wished it could be later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i struggled hard because i knew i didn't want to do the missile but i also knew that was a bit of a turning point for Clexa so i hope this made up for that. The next chapter will be very Clexa filled and maybe some Ranya also more Elena trying to be cupid. The battle is almost among us and i think it will surprise a lot of you! 
> 
> i love reading your comments let me know what you think!!!!!!!!!!!


	10. The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter but i hope you enjoy!!!

It had been a day since Lexa had woken up and she still hadn’t gotten to talk to Clarke. They almost did until Raven interrupted and called Clarke downstairs and they haven’t had a moment alone since.

Today they would be moving closer to the mountain which meant they were leaving TonDC. They sent their wounded to Arkadia to be treated and Elena assured them they would be fine until after the battle. Most of TonDC was still standing but they had a lot to rebuild.

“I’ll see you soon yongon.” It was time to leave and Lexa was saying bye to her mom.

“After we win this will be my first stop.” Lexa smiled,

“I’ll be here.” Elena hugged her daughter, “Maybe you could use the walk to talk to Clarke, she’s such a lovely girl.”

Lexa stepped back looking at her mom questionably wonder how she knew of her feelings for Clarke, surly she wasn’t that obvious.

“How do yo-.” She sighed, “Anya.”

“Anya didn’t say a word, it’s written over both of your faces.” She smiled, “I haven’t seen you this infatuated I don’t think ever. It’s refreshing, we don’t have to talk about it, but I just want you to be happy Lexa so try to talk to her.”

“I will.” She nodded, giving her one last hug, “Ai hod yu in nomon,”

“I love you more yongon.

* * *

“You’re being ridiculous just so you know.” Raven said looking at Clarke who had been glued to her side for the past 3 hours of walking. “You have to talk eventually.”

“After the battle I will.” Clarke shrugged; she would admit she’s spent the past day running from every opportunity to talk to Lexa. She was scared, no terrified that the woman regretted the kiss. “I’d rather have her reject me after we’ve won, that might cushion the blow a little.”

“Why do you think that?” Raven asks, it was clear as daylight to everyone but Clarke how Lexa felt about her,

“Because” she sighed, “She’s The commander, and stunning and could probably get any girl she wanted and I’m just a nobody who came from space who up until two nights ago had never kissed anyone before. I’m inexperienced and so below her it’s embarrassing.”

“Ok stop.” Raven grabbed her arm pulling her aside letting the grounders past them, “You’re one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met Clarke, and even if you didn’t notice people have been trying to beat down your door for years. So, stop thinking you’re not wanted because it’s not true. If you like Lexa, you need to allow yourself to let her like you back and stop filling your head with excuses.”

“But what if-.”

“Nope.” Raven interrupted,

“But-.”

“Uh uh, I will drag your ass into her tent if I have to.”

“Fine.” She huffed,

“Good girl, now lets go.”

* * *

They arrived at the stop a couple hours later and Clarke was helping Raven and Wick go over the plan for the dam since they would be the first team to leave.

“Are you sure you be able to blow the power with this?” Clarke examined to bombs, she trusted Raven, but these looked very… homemade a little too homemade.

“When you doubt me, it hurts just so you know.” Raven said grabbing the bomb, “I blew that guys fingers off after only working on that bracelet for an hour, I think I can build a bomb properly.”

“Wait what?” Wick asked,

“Anyways I think we should bring a few extra people with guns just in case they are patrolling the turbine.”

“Ok, take Wells, Murphy and a few Ark guards.” Clarke said,

_Radio_

“Raven come in.”

“I’m here Bellamy, did Jake do it?”

“Not yet, we got our people secured on the top floor, but they’ve started taking them from the cages and I don’t know how much longer we can hold them off. Jake is working on the fog now when you see a red flare it’s off.”

“Red Flare got it, what about the army have you worked on getting them out?”

“I’m heading there after this; I won’t be able to radio it’ll be too risky. When the fog is down, and you blow the power you need to hurry and guys there are kids in here so let’s try not to kill everyone.”

“That’s up to them, be safe we’ll see you soon.” Raven clicked off the radio turning to Clarke, “That means it’s time for us to go.”

This was part of the plan Clarke hated, her Raven and Octavia couldn’t all be in the same place. Raven would be at the dam, Octavia in the tunnels and Clarke at the door.

“Here, you need this to blow the door.” Raven handed her the container. “Be careful with it, we only get one chance at this.”

“I don’t like this part.” Clarke sighed,

“Me either, but the next time I see will be with Jake and Abby.” She smiled,

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

“Time to go already?” Anya asked picking up Raven’s bag handing it to her,

“Yep.”

“Well good luck and i- uh.” Raven interrupted grabbing the girls face connecting their lips before backing away, “Oh.”

“Don’t die.” Raven smirked seeing how red the girl was getting,

“You either.” She managed before the girl walked off with the others.

“Are you ok?” Clarke asked trying to hold in her laugh,

“What?” she asked, “I’m fine, that was just-.”

“Unexpected?”

“Yes.” Anya nodded, “I know you’ve probably heard this a million times, but you should really talk to Lexa.”

Clarke could feel her stomach fill with butterflies, but this was the end of her avoiding Lexa, it had to be. They were about to fight a war any minute, better to clear the air now.

“I know, I’ll go now.” Clarke handed her the container Raven gave her before heading to the tent. It was the same one as she used when they came to Arkadia, her throne front and center. The guard let her pass and when she walked in, she saw Lexa standing by the table looking at maps.

“Commander.” She said not knowing if a hey or hi would suffice.

“Clarke.”

“I wanted to let you know that Ravens team left, and my dad should have the fog down within the hour.”

She carefully examined Lexa; she didn’t have her face paint on, but her hair was braided as usual and she looked beautiful. _She always looked beautiful._

“That’s good news.”

“Yeah, I thought I would let you know.” Clarke said and Lexa nodded,

“Anything else?” she asked searching the girl’s eyes,

“I also thought we should have that talk.” Clarke sighed, her hands were sweaty, and her heart was racing

“I think we should too.” Lexa moved closer to her, “First I want to apologize for handcuffing you, and the kiss-.”

“You don’t need to say it.” Clarke interrupted, “I understand if it meant nothing to you-.”

“Clarke-.”

“No please Lexa I can’t- I mean I don’t need to hear you reject me. I get it.” Her hands were getting sweatier and the air was to hard to breathe, she needed to get out of there.

“Clarke can you let me talk?” Lexa grabbed the girls hand stopping her from leaving, “That kiss-.” she sighed taking a deep breathe, “That kiss meant more to me then I can explain, it’s been a long time since I’ve felt anything like this and it scares me and I wish I didn’t kiss you under those circumstances because I ruined it but I wanted to keep you safe because I care about you and I didn’t want to lose you before I even got the chance to explore my feelings.”

Clarke stared at the girl in disbelief,

“You, you’re saying you like me?” Clarke asked needing clarification to make sure this was real.

Lexa smiled squeezing the blonde’s hand,

“I am, and I don’t know what will happen when we march on the mountain, but I do know I needed you to know how I feel. And maybe when this is all over and we won the war I can properly get to know you.”

Clarke smiled widely, “Are you trying to court me commander?”

“I am, only if you’ll have me.”

The blonde didn’t answer instead she wrapped her arms around the girl’s neck pulling her in for a soft kiss. 

“Is that a yes?” the brunette chuckled against the girl’s lips,

“It’s a hell yes.” Pressing her lips back on the girls.

She didn’t know how but eventually they ended in the bedroom compartment of the tent and Clarke was pushing Lexa onto the bed.

Every move was frantic and quick, but Clarke didn’t want to stop but she felt Lexa pulling away.

“What’s wrong?” she asked,

“I just want to make sure this isn’t moving too quick for you.” Lexa said and Clarke smiled,

“I want this, I want you.”

“Ok.” Lexa smiled standing from the bed and kissing the blonde lightly while she gently sat her on the bed. She let Clarke untie of her shirt and under garments letting them fall to the floor revealing her chest.

“Can I take your shirt off?” Lexa asked and Clarke nodded before feeling the come over her head, her bra following. She sat back as Lexa admired her chest and she felt her body shaking and her nerves take over.

What if she isn’t good enough? She’s never had sex before what if she does everything wrong and Lexa doesn’t want to be with her anymore.

“Hey.” The brunette whispered kissing Clarke’s neck and cheek before reaching her kips, “What’s wrong?”

“I- I’ve never done this before.” She whispered and Lexa pressed her hand against her face,

“We can stop if you want to wait.” She smiled

She didn’t know if it was because they were about to go to war and she could die in the next 24 hours or if it was because she really liked the girl in front of her but she didn’t regret her next answer one bit.

“I want to I just- I want it to be good for you to.”

“It will, just sit back and let me take care of you.” Lexa smirked kissing the girl before moving down to her neck leaving small bruises before she finally reached her chest gaining a soft moan from Clarke which was music to her ears. Her hands slipped down to the girls pants quickly slipping them off she could see Clarke was already so wet.

“You’re so beautiful.” Lexa murmured and Clarke smiled,

The blonde watched as Lexa slipped of her panties, kissing her thighs softy making her way to the center slipping her tongue throw her folds.

“Fuck.” Clarke cursed not even caring if anyone heard her moans, Lexa’s mouth was magical, and this was the best feeling she’s ever had in her life.

Lexa continued working her tongue before teasing the girl’s entrance with her finger. She was surprised when Clarke said she hadn’t done this before, but she wanted to make it amazing for her. She wanted to ruin anyone else for her because she never wanted this blonde to leave her side. She slowly slid her finger in as Clarke’s moan vibrated through her.

Clarke was sure nothing could feel better than this, she craved more as Lexa pumped her fingers in and out of her. She had never felt anything like this, and it was incredible. Her moans grew louder and louder and she didn't care if the others heard.

“Lex-ah.” She moaned as the girl’s tongue flicked her clit repeatedly and she knew she wouldn’t last much longer. She could feel herself tightening around the girl’s fingers before her body started to shake and she was unraveling completely at Lexa’s mercy.

Lexa slowed down her pace as the girls shaking slowed, she’s never been more turned on by anything as much as she was watching Clarke come. When she removed her fingers, she licked them generously before making her way back to the blondes’ lips.

“That was amazing.” Clarke smiled lazily against Lexa’s lips, “You’re amazing.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed.” She smirked, “But I’m not done with you yet Skai girl.”

* * *

Clarke was settled in Lexa’s arms still catching her breathe from everything they managed to do in such a short time. Lexa was an amazing lover and if she could, she would spend all night in bed with her, but they couldn’t. Any minute her dad would give the signal and they would be off to war so for now she would enjoy the warmth of the girl’s arms.

Can I ask you something?” Lexa asks as they lay in each other’s arms

“Of course.”

“What exactly was your deal with Kane?” Lexa could feel Clarke tense up at the question, “It’s just I heard you and Raven mention it and I was curious, but you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.”

“No, it’s fine. About 6 months ago I overheard my dad discussing the arks air supply with Kane and how there were no solutions. Kane ordered my dad to keep trying everything before they went to Jaha because they knew he would make the brashest decisions. So about 4 months later my dad told him there was nothing they could do so Kane started forming an alternative plan to send 100 volunteers to the group to see if the ground was habitable. The council approved the plan, but they didn’t want to tell the citizens about the ark dying so Jaha suggested sending the kids from sky box, but Kane was against it. He wanted the people to volunteer but without telling people what was going on that was impossible. So, cut to a month later and the ark throws a party where me and Bellamy decide to sneak Octavia to. Long story short they got, and Octavia and Aurora were arrested because on the ark you’re only allowed to have one child and she broke that law. Octavia was sent to sky box, but Aurora was set to be floated. I promised Bellamy I would do everything I could to help and that’s how I ended up at Kane’s. At first I offered to be his volunteer to confirm earth was safe if he saved Aurora from execution and let Octavia out of sky box but he told me his plan was no longer being considered and that Jaha planned to float 300 lower class citizens to give them more air so they could fix the problem even though my dad told them there was no solution. Jaha wasn’t listening to reason though and he was sure the problem could be fixed they just needed more time.

Then one day everything changed when Jaha started floating people from sky box to save air, he claimed it shouldn’t matter since they would be floated eventually and they shouldn’t waste the air and that’s when he started acting crazier than usual. The day before Auroras execution Kane came to me and made me a deal. He said if I planted some papers in Jaha’s room he would save Aurora and send Me, Raven, Bellamy and Octavia to the ground and I agreed. I had no clue what was in the papers and I didn’t care I just wanted to save my friends and so I did it. I snuck into Jaha’s room and planted the papers where Kane told me but Jaha came in before I could leave.” Clarke stopped sitting up on the bed using the sheets to cover herself, she had only said this out loud once to Raven and she never wanted to again. But she trusted Lexa and she knew she could confide in her.

“It’s ok Clarke.” The brunette sat up kissing the girl’s shoulder before wrapping her arms around her, “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.”

“I want to.” She said pressing into the girl’s arms, “When he came in, he looked surprised to see me obviously but I told him I had plans to hang out with Wells and he said I could wait here for him. He seemed to be ok with that answer because he didn’t press, he just smiled and nodded before sitting next me. He started talking about how sorry he was about Octavia and how he knew she was my friend. I don’t remember how but his hand ended up on my knee and I was completely frozen. He basically told me I could save them by spending one night with him and- and then he started touching me everywhere, rubbing my thighs and back before finally I snapped out of my daze and jumped up. He tried to corner me, but I kneed him and ran until I got home. Raven found me shaking in my room and calmed me down. The next day his room was raided and the next thing I know, Kane was chancellor although for some reason Jaha still got to be on the council so whatever the papers said couldn’t have been that horrible.” Clarke sighed, she could see Lexa fists balled and her knuckles white, so she grabbed them kissing them gently,

“I’m fine now.”

“I’m glad I killed him.” Lexa spat, “He deserved a more painful death.”

“I’m just glad he’s not here anymore to hurt anyone and I’m glad I’m here with you.”

“I’m glad you are too.” Lexa smiled leaning down to kiss the girl’s neck, “Thank you for trusting me with this.”

“Thank you for being here.”

“Always.” Lexa said before her mouth could stop her, but she didn’t regret it and she meant it wholeheartedly,

Clarke just smiled leaning into the girl further enjoying the warm ness and shelter the girl’s arms were providing. She never wanted to leave this bed but now they had a war to win.

They laid silently for a few more minutes before they heard shouting and cheering, and Clarke knew it was time. They quickly got dressed before running outside and seeing the red flare cross the sky.

“He did it.” Clarke smiled,

“You were right to have faith in them.” Lexa said squeezing her hand before turning to her guard, “Sound the horn.”

The guard nodded before pulling out the weird shape instrument and blowing into it releasing a loud noise.

 ** _“Kom Wor!”_** Lexa yelled earning screams and cheers from her army, she smiled slightly at the scene before turning to Clarke. “Now we fight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the battle is next can't wait to post it for ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	11. Dead Doesn't Mean Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of you are probs going to hate me
> 
> disclaimer some dialogue belongs to the writer of the 100

Today was the day, the day everyone has been waiting for, for the past few weeks the day the mountain would fall. Lexa watched as the tent filled up with all the Skaikru and Trikru field commanders and essential leaders. They were camped out at the mountain’s doors, and they needed to make sure everyone knew the plan.

“Field commanders, today's the day we get our people back. The enemy thinks it's safe behind its doors, but it's not. When it realizes that, it will fight back... Hard. We need to be ready.” She nodded for Clarke to speak,

“This is a rescue mission. We are not here to wipe them out but if it comes down to it, we do what have to, to get our people out of there. In saying that there are people inside that mountain that have helped us, children who have nothing to do with this war. We kill their soldiers and their leadership, but we are there to rescue our people.

There are 4 teams. Two of them... at the dam and in the mine... are moving into position already. The third... inside the mountain... is freeing the Grounder prisoners as we speak. It is our job as the fourth team to keep the eyes of the enemy off of them for as long as possible. To do that, we have to be in position here at the main door with our entire army. The mountain men believe the door can't be opened from the outside, so they leave it unguarded. Only it can be, and thanks to our source on the inside, now we know how. According to Maya, the electromagnetic locking system has one flaw. When the power goes out, it disengages. That's where Raven's team comes in. The mountain's electricity is generated at Philpott Dam. By now, they've taken the turbine room.

It's their job to blow the power. Once they do, we blow the lock. There is a catch, a backup generator inside the mountain. If the lock is still functioning when that backup power kicks in, we'll never get that door open, we'll never get our people back.”

“How much time do we have until the backup power kicks in?” One of the grounders asked,

“Our window is one minute.”

“Small window. Why don't we just take out the backup generator, too? Bellamy's inside. Have him do it.”

“Bellamy already has a lot going on besides, we can’t talk to him anymore. Now as the commander said, once the door is open, the shooting will start, and they'll throw everything they have at us, but that's what we want. We want them looking at us because while we're fighting at the front door, Indra's team will be escorting the prisoners out the back, right through the reaper tunnels. Once all our people are free, they'll sound the retreat, in a perfect word things would happen without bloodshed, but their leaders will put up a fight, we just have to show them we’re stronger.”

“The mountain has cast a shadow over these woods for too long. They've hunted us, controlled us, turned us into monsters. That ends today. Thanks to our alliance with the Sky People, the mountain will fall. As Clarke said, we try to spare the innocent. As for the guilty...” Lexa said, “Jus dren jus daun.”

“Jus dren, jus daun!”

* * *

**_At the dam,_ **

“I need two people at the door.” Raven ordered, nodding for two guards to look out while her and wick set everything up.

“3 down 2 to go.” Wick called as he set up the next bomb,

“Detonators are set.” Raven called out,

“Rae, we got problems.” Murphy yelled seeing a group of guards running towards them.

“Always shoot first ask questions never Murph.”

“You’re kind of ruthless.” Wick said while he worked on the last bomb,

“This is war Wick, shoot or get shot. I’d rather not get shot.” She pointed out, “Ok, you ready?”

“We’re good.”

“Ok, let’s get the hell out of here then.” Raven grabbed her bag and made sure everything was in place before they left. She had the detonator in her hand and when they were a safe distance away, she pushed it.

She couldn’t help but smile when she heard the explosion go off, damn she really did love her bombs.

“It’s up to Clarke and Lexa now, we need to head towards the door.”

* * *

Back at the doors Clarke watched patiently as to guards from the ark carefully placed the bomb in the door. They only had one chance at this so they couldn’t fuck it up. Now all they had to do was wait for Raven. She held the denotator in her hand anxiously hoping everything would go to plan.

“When this is over will you come to Polis with me?” Lexa asks still looking at the door, “It won’t be for a few weeks, but I’d love to have you there... With me.”

Clarke smiled watching the big bad commander fidget with her fingers and play with the fabric on her pauldron.

“I think I’d follow you anywhere.” She said realizing Ravens words were true, her and Lexa weren’t exactly a couple and they had a long way to go but she liked her. Really liked her enough to lose all her first and she didn’t want to lose this, not yet maybe not ever?

Lexa’s reply was interrupted by gunshots most likely from the dam and Clarke prayed to god it was her friends doing the shooting.

“They know we’re going for the power, so that also probably means they know we’re going for the door.” Clarke said trying not to worry,

“Raven’s a warrior, she’ll get it done.” Lexa said reassuringly, a few minutes later they heard the explosions and Clarke couldn’t almost imagine Ravens satisfaction with it.

“She did it.” Clarke smiled, “It’s time, together.” She held out the detonator and Lexa grabbed it. “To those we’ve lost.”

“And to those we shall soon find.” She smiled pressing the button, they both expected some large noise but there was nothing, “What’s happening?”

“They’re jamming us.” Clarke stood up walking closer to door pressing the button hoping the connection would be help, “Fuck, come on.” She kept pressing until she heard gunshots and someone grabbing her to pull her back.

“We need another way.” Lexa said, double checking that Clarke wasn’t hurt

“How much time?”

“30 seconds.”

“There is no other way, you know that.” Clarke sighed,

“We don’t need one.” Lincoln said lighting an arrow before pulling the bow back,

“10, 9, 8…. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.” Clarke watched the arrow fly through the air hitting the door igniting the bomb and blowing the door. “It worked!”

The shooting from the bridge was thinning out and she hoped it was Raven’s team that took them out. She smiled to herself as she watched the grounders pulling the door open, they heard a horn going off and Clarke turned to Lexa.

“It’s Anya, I told her to signal once they got the prisoners through the tunnels.”

“Ready to fight?” Clarke smirked,

“Almost.” Lexa smiled at Clarke confused face as she reached into her bag pulling out long shiny sword with a blue gem engraved into the hilt of it. “I know Anya gave you a sword, but I think this one will fit you better.”

Clarke took the sword admiring the beauty, it fit into her hand perfectly,

“You had this made for me?” she asked,

“I did, a couple days after you started training with Anya, I requested it to be made.” She answered, “I thought it would be nice to have your own sword when we went to battle, the blue is the same color as your eyes. Do you like it?”

“I love this, Lexa.” She said honestly not holding back her smile, “Thank you.”

“Of course, now let’s fight.”

They sent the gunman in first to do a sweep before they all entered the mountain. Clarke remembered the tan walls and concrete floors from her brief stay, and it made her sick. It made her sick knowing she was in here while they were bleeding people to death and turning them into reapers right under her nose.

The halls were suspiciously empty and that put Clarke and Lexa on edge, there were no guards or people just silence.

“Somethings wrong.” Clarke murmured, they continued walking down the halls turning the corner running straight into someone and she instantly recognized the smell.

She stepped back seeing her dad Bellamy, Octavia and Monty walking down the halls.

“Dad!” she jumped into the man’s arms who instantly caught her, “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too kid.” He smiled, “Raven?”

“She’s meeting the team at the tunnels.”

Lexa watched the reunion with a smile, she knew how much her parents meant to her, so she was glad Clarke got to see him. Instantly she recognized where she got her eyes and smile two things Lexa first noticed about the girl besides how easily she took down Jaha.

“You must be the commander.” He smiled turning to Lexa who nodded,

“It is nice to meet you, Clarke has told me much about you.” Lexa said,

“Good things I hope.”

“Of course.”

“Ok, sorry guys but we don’t really have time for this.” Octavia interrupted,

“Why is it so quiet?” Clarke asked her dad and Bellamy,

“They moved all the citizens to the dining hall on level 3; the president and his lieutenants are also on that level still doing bone marrow extractions.”

“Did Indra and Anya get everyone through the tunnels?” Lexa asked Octavia,

“Yes, they’re still getting people out, guards are watching the doors but there’s no one patrolling.”

Lexa turned to her warriors ordering them to level 3 to block any exits and wait for her orders.

“Ok, where is the control room?” Clarke asked,

“This way.” Bellamy motioned for them to follow while Lexa ordered the guards to search for anyone in the halls,

“Where’s Jasper?” Clarke asks Monty,

“With Maya, they- her dad was helping us they killed him, after that Bellamy moved all the people who helped us to the upper level.”

“They were going door to door killing anyone who helped us.” Jake added,

“And I’m the crazy one.” Clarke mumbled,

“They called you crazy?” Lexa asked protectively, the others noticing

“Me and Raven kind of blew one of their peoples fingers off but that’s besides the point.” Clarke said dismissively, “We need to get our people and go.”

“Clarke there’s something else.” Jake rubbed his neck, “They have your mom.”

* * *

**_Tunnels_ **

Raven’s team arrived at the tunnels not soon after they took out the shooters on the bridge. She saw a sea of people only wrapped in bandages and no clothes, they looked corpse like, and she wanted nothing more than to blow up the whole mountain after seeing them.

She searched the crowd seeing some people from the ark but not many, mostly she was looking for Anya. Not that she didn’t care that the people from the ark were free, but she knew the ones she loved were still inside.

Finally, after forever she found her talking with Indra and they both looked worried and that made her worry. Was something going on inside? Was its Clarke or her parents, were their leaders waiting for them as soon as they opened the door and killed them?

The uncertainty was killing her because all of those things could’ve happened, and she didn’t know if she could handle any of the outcomes that weren’t the people, she loved coming out alive.

Panicking and assuming weren’t going to get anywhere so she walked up to Anya who looked up and gave her a smile and to her surprise a hug, which she gratefully sunk into.

“I’m glad you didn’t die.” She said smiling,

“You too.” Raven said, “But something is wrong I can see it all over your face.”

Anya stepped back sighing before turning to Indra and her worry tripled,

“If it’s Clarke then- then just tell me.”

“No, as far as we know everything is fine inside the mountain.” Anya said quickly causing Raven to instantly relax.

“Then what is it?” Raven asked,

Raven could obviously see something was seriously wrong but both women were uncharacteristically antsy and apprehensive which put her on edge.

“Anya?”

Anya sighed looking over to someone she couldn’t see and then back at Raven, nervously playing with her fingernail before speaking.

Raven listened as Anya explained what was happening and she couldn’t believe what was happening. She was sure she was hearing things but by both women’s demeanor she knew this is real and that she needed to get to Clarke as fast as she could.

* * *

“Two guards on the door, three on the corner.” Bellamy whispered and Clarke nodded, 

“Bell and O get the corner, me and Lexa will take the door.” Clarke ordered and everyone nodded,

She didn’t have time to waste, the moment she heard Cage had taken her mother she knew she needed to end this. Now.

Lexa went first easily throwing her dagger at one of the guards’ necks and Clarke stabbing the other before he could even raise his gun.

“Easy enough.” Lexa said stepping over the bodies, “What if there is more inside?”

Clarke opened the door with the key card Bellamy had, there were two guards sitting watching monitors and turned as soon as they saw her.

“Hi boys.” She smiled shooting both of them before moving to the monitor.

The screens were filled with live streams from the different levels and rooms of mount weather. She watched as kids played kicking the soccer ball around the dining hall and the parents talking casually as if nothing was happening which pissed her off even more. Even if for some reason they didn’t know what was going on before, she knew they knew now and didn’t care.

Then she looked the bottom of the screen seeing the bone marrow treatments being done. She recognized the person they were drilling currently as one of her teachers in school. He wasn’t the nicest on the Ark but that didn’t mean he deserved this.

“Why did he take her?” Clarke turned to her dad,

“Their doctor was killed when Bellamy irradiated level five.” He sighed, "We thought it was because of that but-.”

“It’s because of me.” Clarke finished mentally kicking herself, “It’s because I threatened them when I sent Emerson back.”

She knew now wasn’t the time to start blaming herself even if it was her fault, she was going to save them and make all of this right.

“The only people in the wrong here Clarke are the ones who reside in this mountain.” Lexa said grabbing the girl’s hand, “They did this, they started all of this anything that happens is on them not you not anyone else.”

Clarke nodded trying to believe that, they needed a plan.

“Where is Dante?” She asked and Bellamy explained everything that happened how Cage overthrew his father and locked him in quarantine while they continued the bone marrow treatments. “Can you get to him?”

“We should be able to.” Bellamy nodded,

“Bring him here, take Monty and O with you for backup.” Clarke ordered and he nodded

“What are you planning?” Jake asked, he’s never seen his daughter like this. She’s always had a sense of leadership, but this was different, and he couldn’t help but notice how close her and the commander seemed. He missed a lot.

“Can you irradiate certain levels, or can you only do one at a time or is it all or nothing?” Clarke asked ignoring the man’s question,

“I don’t know Clarke I would just have to take a look at the system.”

“I need you to figure it out.”

Jake moved to the computer hesitantly not sure if he wanted to do what she was asking.

“Clarke there are kids here.” He reminded trying to make sure she wasn’t suggesting what he thought she was.

“I know that dad, but we have to be prepared.” Clarke said, “And I know that seems harsh, but I didn’t do everything I’ve done just to lose what I came here for.”

He knew it hadn’t been easy for Clarke or Raven knowing him and Abby were both in here, and he also knew they were working hard to get to them, and he couldn’t be prouder. But he also didn’t want his daughter to have to commit genocide, so he was torn.

Clarke waited patiently as her dad typed away on the computer and for Bell to return with Dante. It helped having Lexa by her side, rubbing soothing circles on her back as she watched the screens in front of her. She knew her friends and likely her dad was watching them interact probably wondering what was up, but she would explain later, right now they had bigger issues.

“What do you have planned Clarke?” Lexa asked in hushed tone, she’d been trying to read the blondes face since they entered the room, but it wasn’t giving away anything.

“They give us what we want, or we attack.”

The door opened and Lexa noticed an older man being escorted in by Bellamy and the others. This was the man responsible for so many of her people’s deaths, for the death of someone she loved. Looking at him he didn’t seem like much, and it surprised her how such a scrawny old man could have ordered so much destruction.

“Mr. President.” Clarke turned to the man; he definitely didn’t look like the same man she met a few weeks ago. She was thinner and somehow looked older.

“Clarke.”

“Now that you’ve joined us the show can begin.” Clarke grabbed the radio before turning back to the monitors finding Cage who was interacting with the citizens in the dining hall. She looked around more until her eyes landed on another familiar face. “Carl Emerson, mount weather security detail.” She watched as the mans face studied the radio before replying,

“Who is this?”

“Don’t tell me you forgot me already?” Clarke said, “How’s the fingers, I’ll have to tell Raven to amp up on the power next time.”

“Really Clarke.” Octavia sighed and Clarke shrugged,

“As much as I would love to keep this conversation going, I’m going to need you to give the radio to the president right now.”

They all watched as the man deliberated on what to do before walking into the dining area. The president looked confused before taking the radio and going to the hall.

“Clarke, I presume?”

“Bingo, I’ll make this quick and easy. Let my people go and I’ll let yours live, same offer as before except I’m losing my patience.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Let me rephrase, let my people go or I’ll kill your father, or do you not care about him anymore? We found him in quarantine, you couldn’t’ even leave him a guard or a weapon?” Clarke watched the man turn to Emerson before replying.

“How do I even know he’s there?”

Clarke rolled her eyes moving the radio towards the older man nodding for him to talk,

“Stay the course Cage.”

“Stupidity clearly runs in the family.” Clarke said, “Let our people go and we’ll think about donating the bone marrow. Obviously, you and you followers will die but at least your people will get to live. There are kids on that level with you, if you value their lives even the slightest, you’ll take the deal.” Clarke said, as the man paced around the hall.

“You’re losing so you’ve come to make a deal?” Cage asked almost amused,

“I think you’re mistaken who has the disadvantage here.” Clarke replied,

“Abby is your mother, right?” he asked smiling, but Clarke didn’t budge, “She’s on this level with me, one order and she’s dead.”

“One push of a button and I irradiate the whole level.” Clarke replied,

“You wouldn’t do that.” He mocked,

“You clearly don’t know me, touch my mom and see what happens.” Clarke looked at her dad and he nodded, she figured he could do it she just hoped she wouldn’t need it. “We have every inch of this place filled with our warriors; you can’t win Cage.”

“I’ll die before I ever make a deal with you or those savages.” He growled, and Clarke saw him ordering Emerson to do something.

“I’ll join the group at level 3; we need to attack now.” Lexa said and Clarke nodded,

“Take Bellamy and my dad, they know the halls.”

“Clark-.”

“Please dad.” She begged, “Mom will want to see you when this is over, take this too.” She handed him a radio, 

“Fine.” He sighed hugging her tightly before joining Bellamy in the hall.

“Take care of him.” She whispered to Lexa who nodded, “And take care of you please.”

“I will, I swear.” She squeezed the girls hand assuring before leaving,

Clarke sighed deeply before turning back to the scene where Cage was still talking with Emerson. The decision in her mind seemed simple, she offered him a chance for their people to live but he chose to 

She saw Emerson leaving and Cage walking into the room where the extractions were taking place. He walked out of frame for a minute before walking back with none other than Abby. Clarke sighed because now her decision was cemented.

“Monty are the people that helped us safe on the upper level with the others?” Clarke asked,

“Yes.” He nodded,

“Let my father go or she goes on the table.” Cage said looking straight into the camera,

“You put her on that table, and I kill your dad and everyone you’ve ever known. The choice is yours.” She said into the radio before turning to Monty, “He knows we’re in the control room, Monty can you make his key card not work?”

“That’s easy.” He said going to the computer Jake had been working on previously,

“Clarke come in.”

“Bellamy, what’s wrong?” She asked over the radio,

“We can’t get on level 3; Jake thinks it can only be opened from the inside. The elevator is jammed, and the other exits are blocked from the inside.”

“What are you telling me?” she sighed, staring at her mom on the screen

“I’m saying we can’t find any way to get in.”

She put the radio down staring at the lever she had to pull, the lever that would kill hundreds of people all because of one person’s stupidity.

“Cage I’m giving you one last chance, take the deal let your people live past today.” She said as she put her hand on the lever,

“They will, now I’m giving you one last chance. Let my father go.”

“That’s not happening.” Clarke said watching Cage order his guards to put Abby on the table.

She felt a hand on top of hers, looking seeing Octavia by her side,

“I’m not letting you do this alone, don’t fight me on this either.” She said mimicking words Clarke has said to her a million times, “Together.”

She nodded pulling the lever before turning away from the screen, it was one thing to kill the leaders and even the citizens but her one hope was to spare the kids and she couldn’t even do that.

But she was here, and she made a choice, so she made herself turn around to face it. She watched as the doctors started deteriorating as well as the guards that were patrolling the floor.

Cage was no longer there but it didn’t matter, he couldn’t outrun this especially if the floor was barricaded.

“Let’s go get our people.” She said, she grabbing Dante pushing him forward as Octavia and Monty walked by her side.

When they got to level 3 the doors were open and warriors were flooding the halls. She ran into the room hoping her mom would be there waiting and she was.

“Clarke.” Abby cried enveloping the girl in her arms,

“I tried, mom.” She mumbled into the woman’s chest, “I tried to do this a better way, I tried to be the good guy.”

“Oh Clarke, I know.”

* * *

There weren’t many survivors in the operating room that they could say but the ones who were still alive were cared for immediately. Luckily, they didn’t get to touch Abby before Clarke pulled the lever, so she was fine and helping others.

Clarke found Lexa who was ordering her warriors to sweep the whole mountain, they caught Emerson and Cage trying to escape and put them with Dante. Bellamy got the other Ark survivors from the upper level leaving the mountain citizens until they can discuss donating bone marrow for them as compensation for their help.

Besides the rotting bodies and looming sense of death everything was going as planned. They saved their people and defeated the mountain, even if it wasn’t how Clarke wanted to go about it, she didn’t regret it. She came here to save her parents and friends and she did that now she just had to live with it.

“I’m leaving guards behind to handle the bodies until we can decide what to do with the mountain people that remain.” Lexa said and Clarke nodded,

“We have people who have volunteered to give bone marrow, Skaikru is willing to adopt the remaining mountain people into our people.” Clarke said, “They tried to do the right thing I think this is fair.”

“I agree.” Lexa nodded, “I’m proud of you Clarke, I know the decision wasn’t easy, but you showed true strength today. And although I wish I could’ve at least pulled that lever with you I still don’t plan on letting you live with this alone.”

Clarke couldn’t help but smile at the girl’s words, she didn’t know she needed to hear that someone else would bear this with her. Sure, Octavia helped pull the lever, but Lexa was here saying she would be there for her and she was elated to hear that.

“What will happen to Cage, Dante and Emerson?” she asked,

“They will be executed then we will celebrate our win.” She smiled, “First we get the people who have been trapped in here settled. The war is over but there is still work to do.”

“What’s first Heda?” she asked smiling,

“How about we get out of this mountain.”

“I like that idea.”

She grabbed her parents who were antsy to see Raven before the four of them and a group of others exited the mountain. They would most likely be at the mountain for a couple of days treating people and taking care of all the bodies.

When they exited the mountain, they were greeted with the prisoners who were spread out over the huge space of land. Clarke smiled to herself seeing warriors reuniting with loved ones they believed to be dead. This is what made her decision worth it, the reunions and lives saved were worth the ones lost. Right?

She saw Raven running towards them instantly jumping into her parent’s arms.

“Thank god!”

“Raven!”

Clarke smiled watching the scene before feeling someone grab her hand,

“I’m glad you have them back.” Lexa smiled,

“Thank you for helping me get this far.” Clarke wanted nothing more than to kiss the girl, but she didn’t know if that was allowed. Was the commander aloud to partake in PDA.

“Clarke!” Raven interrupted the two, “We need to talk like now!”

“Rae what’s going on?” Clarke asked but was interrupted by another voice, one she kind of recognized.

“Lexa?”

Lexa’s blood ran cold as she recognized the voice behind her, but it was impossible, there was no way she was hearing that voice.

“Lex?”

She closed her eyes turning around taking a deep breathe before opening them and her whole body became numb for a second.

“Costia?”

The next thing she knew her arms were filled with the girl she loved, the girl she thought she lost but she was here. alive

Clarke watched in agony as Lexa was reuniting with the girl, she recognized her. She was the one who asked her for help when her and Aurora were escaping the mountain. She had no clue it would end up being the same person who Lexa knew as Costia.

Everything went silent as she stood by watching Lexa hugging the girl and crying, the feeling that was happening in her heart was indescribable. Raven moved to her side saying something she couldn’t hear. She was numb, completely and utterly numb and most of all, she was terrified for what was to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter coming very soon. clexa is always always endgame;)


	12. You Don't Die From A Broken Heart, You Only Wish You did

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIG TERMS:  
> nomfi-daughter  
> nontu-father  
> nomon-mother  
> ai hodnes- my love

**_3 months later_ **

_Running._ Clarke decided to add that to the list of things she hated since she got to the ground and right now that list was long.

She ducked under a low hanging branch before jumping onto her latest pray who had decided to run instead of coming with her. Just as she was about to knock the guy out, she heard the earpiece buzzing in her ear. She reached for the radio before pressing the button to talk.

“Not a good time.” She said as the guy squirmed beneath her, she stood up placing her boot on the guys’ neck.

“You sound out of breath, another runner?” Raven smirked,

“For last twenty minutes.” She groaned, “What is it Rae, as you know I’m on a job.”

“Hate to interrupt your mercenary duties-.”

“Bounty hunter,” Clarke corrected,

“Occasional bounty hunter, anyways I’m just calling to make sure you’re coming tonight.”

“I already told you I would be there.” She rolled her eyes, “Can you chill out?” She said to the man who was struggling to escape from her boot,

“What did this one do?” Raven asked,

“Stole from Luna’s village.”

“Since when do you catch thieves?”

“What can I say Rae, money talks.” She smiled, “Can we talk later I need to finish this.”

“Fine but I better see you tonight.”

“You will, bye.” She clicked a button on the radio before turning her attention back to the man. “Ok, where were we.” 

“Usually I’d give you the option of gun or sword but since you made me run, I’ll choose for you.” She smiled taking the hilt of her gun and knocking the man out.

Luna’s village wasn’t far, but it was far enough that she would have time to think and thinking led to _her_ and she refused to do that. Mostly she filled her time with jobs or training and most of the time that worked but when it didn’t her mind would drift right back to that night.

* * *

**_3 months ago_ **

Clarke was still watching Lexa and Costia unable to move and then she saw the girl moving towards her.

“It’s you!” she said smiling, “You said you would come back, and you did, thank you.”

Clarke couldn’t make her lips move and Lexa was staring at her and Costia was in her face and it was all too much. So instead of replying she nodded and walked away because the more she was there the harder it was to breathe, and this couldn’t possibly be happening to right now.

She knew she shouldn’t have allowed this; she shouldn’t have allowed herself to like someone or to be liked because in the end it all just ends the same. Now what was she supposed to do, they just won the war but now there was a new battle for her to face and she wasn’t ready so she did the only thing she could think of, be useful.

There were still people in the mountain who needed treatment and even though she wanted nothing more than to be away from the mountain but that wasn’t an option.

When she entered medical, she let Jackson order her around and it helped, it helped get her mind on something anything else. But that all ended when she heard Lexa’s voice behind her, and she wanted a hole to crawl into.

“Clarke.” She said hesitantly, and Clarke turned around but refused to meet her eyes, “I was hoping Costia could get looked over.”

Clarke looked up noticing the other girl standing beside her, she was now covered in a jacket and Clarke could see just how beautiful she was even now. She didn’t know how long she was staring before someone came behind her.

“I can take a look over her.” Abby smiled warmly and Lexa nodded telling Costia it was ok, and Clarke took the opportunity to leave.

Her whole body was sweating, and she felt like she might die at any moment and why was the air so hard to breathe?

She made her way down the halls and somehow ended up in the dining hall where some of the grounders were removing the burnt bodies of the people, she killed an hour ago. An hour ago, when she made this impossible choice and had someone by her side who was willing to bear that choice with her but now, she had only her guilt and heartbreak keeping her company.

“They should be done soon.” Lexa said from behind the girl and Clarke nodded not bothering to turn around. “Can we talk?” once again the three dreaded words except this time she knew it wouldn’t come out in her favor.

The real question was did they really need to talk? Did she really need Lexa to say the words she already knew. She knew she loved Costia and her supposed death was hard for her but now they had a second chance and Clarke was nothing.

“I uh- I know what you’re going to say so I don’t know how necessary a talk would be.” Clarke said, she turned around, but she still refused to meet the girl’s eyes, she couldn’t.

“I’m sorry Clarke.”

“Don’t be, I understand.”

“Can you look at me?” Lexa stepped towards the girl, but Clarke stepped back shaking her head,

“I’m sorry i-.” Clarke took a deep breathe, sucking in any emotion because if she fell apart now she knew she wouldn’t be able to control it, “I know this is an impossible situation and I know how much she meant to you so you don’t have to worry about this, whatever it was. Now that we won the war, I’m officially stepping back from all of this so Kane will be the one you can deal going forward. Despite my words and actions, Kane is a good guy, and you can trust him.”

“I really want to talk to you about this.” Lexa urged, she could see the hurt all over Clarkes face and it was heartbreaking. This whole situation was heartbreaking, and she had no clue where to go from here.

“I really can’t-.” the blonde murmured,

“Heda.” Anya called from behind the couple,

“I’m busy Anya.”

“It’s important.”

Lexa sighed turning around to face the girl,

“Give me a minute.” Lexa said and Anya nodded but when Lexa turned back around the blonde was gone.

* * *

**_Present_ **

When Clarke arrived in Luna’s village, she gave the man to her guards before entering the woman’s home as she’s done a dozen times at this point. The last three months have been crazy but if there was one good thing to come of it, it was the amount of friends Clarke made. Of course, she had her friends from the ark but now she had grounder friends as well.

Luna and her sort of became friends by accident after Clarke chassed one of her bounties into the woman’s territory. She was still new to the job and this one was unfortunately a runner, thankfully he got caught in a net they use for hunting and Luna turned him over they’ve been friends ever since.

“Honey I’m home!” Clarke smirked, one thing that did surprise her about the ground were how normal the houses were. There weren’t exactly like the ones she seen picture of from the old world but a good replica.

“How was it?” Luna asked pouring the girl a drink,

“Runner.” She sighed and the girl laughed,

“Maybe you and Anya should focus on cardio during training.”

Clarke and Anya continued their training after the mountain, well after a month of Clarke locking herself in Arkadia. Raven and Anya dragged her out of her room and forced her to start doing things again. At first it was helping in medical, then it was riding horses with the pair then she started training again and it was her saving grace.

Training gave her an outlet, one she definitely needed after everything.

“Hell no, knowing Anya she would make me run for miles on end just to torture me.” She loved Anya but she was a hard ass during training,

“Sounds like her.” Luna agreed taking a sip of her drink, “Are you going tonight?”

This was a question she was being asked a lot in the past week and it was becoming annoying. She understood why people would think she wasn’t, but she had said many times she was.

“I am, Raven will murder me of I don’t.”

“Well if anyone deserves to be there it’s you, you defeated the mountain after all.”

“I didn’t do it alone.” The blonde points out,

“Yet you are the one they call the mountain slayer.” She smiled, “And your personal favorite Wanheda.”

After the mountain Clarke developed quite the reputation. Everyone knew she pulled that lever that wiped out the majority of the mountain men and they praised her for it. To them she was the reason the mountain no longer loomed over them even though in reality she didn’t do it alone. Everyone did something to get them there that night but because Clarke killed 300 people that’s all they will remember, the commander of death. Her current occupation didn’t help much either.

“Do you think she will be there?” Clarke asked quietly as she fidgeted with her sleeve.

“I honestly don’t know.” Luna replied placing a comforting hand on the blondes’ leg.

“Do you know her?” Clarke asked, up until this point she’s strayed away from all conversations that lead to Lexa and Costia, but she was curious.

“I did yeah, we never really got along.” Luna replied, “Me and Lexa trained together as Natblida’s and we were close, best friends as you would say and Costia was a very jealous person. Even though things were never romantic with me and Lexa she still didn’t like me.” Luna watched the blonde closely, it had been three months, but the wound was still fresh, “You don’t have to talk to her you know, Polis is a big place with lots of people and I’ll be there. I’d be happy to keep you company.”

“I appreciate that Luna.” She smiled, “I gotta go meet Raven in TonDC, I’ll see you there.”

“I’ll be there.” She hugged the blonde before she exited and hopped on her horse, TonDC wasn’t a far ride but once again it was far enough to make her think.

* * *

**POLIS**

Preparing for the feast had been a long process but Lexa was glad that everything was finally done and happening today. The defeat of the mountain was months ago but the celebration was halted by many things but mostly rebuilding TonDC and re-homing the prisoners from the mountain. Most of them returned to their native clans but the one’s without families were given the chance to find new homes where they were provided with a home and work to rejoin society.

Lexa was proud of everything they had done over the past few months but even with all the good came the bad.

Three months ago, someone she thought she lost forever re-entered her life and someone else exited. Lexa hated thinking about that night for the simple fact that Clarke was hurt and understandably so.

* * *

**_3 months ago_ **

Holding Costia in her arms she was sure this was a hallucination, some sort of trick her mind was playing but as she ran her fingers over the girl’s frail skin, she knew it was real. This whole time she had been mourning someone who’s been alive and as much as she’s relived there’s also another feeling. A bad feeling, something close to dread.

She watched Costia turn and smile and when she followed her eyes she was surprised when they landed on Clarke.

“It’s you!” she said smiled, “You said you would come back, and you did, thank you.”

Clarke was still and Lexa just starred at her in confusion, how did Costia know Clarke? She saw the blonde do something close to a nod before walking away towards the woods. Lexa wanted nothing more than to go after her, she needed to talk to her but what could she say?

“I have imagined this moment for last year _niron_.” Costia said taking Lexa out of her thoughts, “That I would see your face again, and hold you in my arms.”

“Me too.” Lexa said truthfully but in the back of her mind she couldn’t help but think about how just this morning she was in bed with Clarke. Clarke who she liked, she liked so much and the connection she felt for the girl was instant so why didn’t that instantly go away at the sight of her lost love?

She examined the girl in front of her, poorly wrapped in bandages with no clothes just a thin blanket. Her dark skin dull and lifeless and her curls more unruly than she remembers and her hazel eyes dim and drowsy.

“We should have a healer look over you.” Lexa took off her jacket placing it around the girl’s shoulders before walking her towards the mountain. She could feel her apprehension about entering the place rightfully so. “They can’t hurt you anymore, I swear.”

Costia nodded taking one of Lexa’s hands before walking back into her prison for the last year.

When they entered the mountain, Lexa observed her warriors removing the bodies of the mountain men and clearing the dining hall. She silently hoped they would be done by the time Clarke came back in so she wouldn’t have to see the bodies.

They entered the makeshift medical room and Lexa instantly noticed the blonde patching up an older woman and having light conversation with her. She waited patiently with Costia for the blonde to be done wondering if it would cruel to ask the blonde to look over her, but she didn’t know any of these other people.

“Clarke.” She saw the blonde pause before turning around not looking at her at all and Lexa hated this, “I was hoping Costia could get looked over.”

Clarke looked up finally but not to Lexa, to Costia who gave her a small smile while all Clarke could do was stare. Finally, another woman who Lexa recognized as Clarkes mother volunteered to look over Costia and Lexa nodded watching Clarke walk away.

“I’m Abby, Clarke’s mother.” The older woman smiled at both women, “If it’s ok I’m going to take your bandages off and make sure any bruising or scarring you have won’t give you any issues in the future. Is that ok?”

Costia nodded and Abby started her examining after asking one of the other doctors to find the girl some clothes.

Lexa watched in horror as the dark bruises and cuts were exposed on the girls’ body. It made her angrier knowing the people who did this to her were still alive and breathing but they wouldn’t be for long and if anything, she would make sure their deaths are long and painful.

Watching Abby look over Costia reminded her of Clarke, it reminded her that there was this aching in her heart for the girl and she had no clue what to do about it.

“I’ll be right back.” Lexa turned to Costia who’s eyes went wide at the mention of her leaving, “I promise, I just have to make sure the bodies are being taken care of properly.” Costia nodded hesitantly and Lexa felt terrible as she exited the room.

She felt guilty for lying because the only reason she wanted to leave the room was to talk to Clarke.

The blonde was standing at the entrance of the dining hall watching the bodies be carried out and the pang in Lexa’s heart hit again.

“They should be done soon.” Lexa said from behind the girl and Clarke nodded not bothering to turn around. She watched as the blonde’s shoulders tensed at the mention of them talking, and even when she finally turned around, she wouldn’t even meet her eyes.

Her attempt to talk to her was short lived as Anya interrupted and Clarke fled the scene as soon as possible.

“What is it Anya?” she asked annoyed,

“Give her time.”

“What?” Lexa said looking up at her friend, “You said it was important.”

“It is.” Anya sighed, “I know this situation is bizarre and feelings are running high but tonight isn’t the night to talk about it. Clarke needs space and so do you to figure out... everything. If there is even anything to figure out.”

“What does that mean?” Lexa asked angrily,

“With Costia here and alive I- I just didn’t know what that meant for you and Clarke.”

Lexa starred at her friend trying to control her emotions, but she had too many of them and they were forcibly trying to escape her body no matter how hard she tried to hold them in.

“I don’t know either.” She mumbled,

* * *

**PRESENT- POLIS**

The feast was starting soon, and Lexa was dressed in an emerald dress that Costia picked for her with her face painted and hair down her back in waves. For this celebration she could be more laid back which she enjoyed. This was a big night; it was the night the mountain men’s leaders would be executed and their win will be celebrated. She had kept the leaders alive deciding they should endure more than a quick death. She allowed her most trusted guard to issue the punishments only requesting to keep them alive long enough for execution.

As excited as she was for those events, she was also nervous and scared and sad among other things because for the first time in three months she would be seeing Clarke. She had seen her one time since, but it was brief, and the blonde basically ran from her before they could talk.

Being back in Polis with Costia was an adjustment, she was used to being alone especially after losing her but having her again hasn’t been what she thought it would be. For the most part Costia is the same person she remembers, funny, kind, smart, lots of energy but Lexa wasn’t the same person as she was a year ago.

The loss of her love changed her and being heda did too, and as much as she wants to be grateful that the girl is here with her, she can’t help but feel guilt.

Guilt that she’s not the Lexa Costia knows, guilt that she was alive this whole time and she didn’t save her sooner, guilt that no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t get a certain blonde out of her head. Some days she would wake up with a smile from dreaming of Clarke just to realize it wasn’t Clarke in her arms, it was Costia and that made her feel worse.

Costia was getting better, her bruises were healing, and she was gaining back her weight which helped regain some resemblance to her old self. Most of the time she would spend stuck to Lexa which she understood but she also had meetings and work to do so on occasion she had to leave the girl.

After about a month or so after the mountain she returned to her home in Polis from a long day of meetings and Costia was awaiting her with a warm bath and Lexa knew where this was going.

They hadn’t been intimate since her return and in Costia’s mind in was because of her recovery but in reality, it was because of Lexa’s guilt. Guilt that she had been intimate with someone else, someone who she still thinks about daily even while Costia is by her side.

And that night she tried to put that all aside, she tried to enjoy her bath and when the water ran cold, and she was forced to get out she tried to enjoy Costia’s advances. The kisses on her neck and warm hands all over her body weren’t enough to bring her out of her own head even when she told herself this is what they needed. This is what’s going to bring them back together, but it wasn’t, and Lexa couldn’t bring herself to use Costia like that. She couldn’t have sex with the girl in hopes that it would be enough to forget the blonde. So, she ended the night by saying she was tired, but she knew Costia didn’t believe that. She just hoped with time things would be better.

Now it’s three months in and the thoughts of the blonde were still haunting her especially with the ongoing rumors of Wanheda, mountain slayer now mercenary?

All the clans have heard of Clarke and Lexa was almost impressed, but she also wondered if this was her fault. If things turned out differently would Clarke have chosen a different path?

She would talk to Anya regularly and it was almost always about Clarke since Anya was still training her. Anya didn’t tell her much which angered her, but she would say she was fine, and Lexa would just have to believe that.

Tonight, would be the night she would actually see Clarke and a part of her was excited. Even if the girl wouldn’t talk to her she would at least get to see her face and that was more than she’s had in months.

“Ready?” she heard a voice ask, she turned around seeing Costia in a dark blue dress and her wild curls framing her face perfectly. “Indra says people are arriving.”

“I am.” She nodded taking one last look at herself before exiting the room, Costia by her side.

“I’m excited to see everyone.” Costia smiled, breaking the silence, “Especially my parents.”

“They will be very excited to see you.”

Lexa and Costia’s parents hadn’t talked much since the girl was taken, Lexa actually made it a point not to talk to them because it was too hard. Looking back, she realized how selfish that was, but she hoped she could fix it now.

* * *

**SOMEWHERE IN THE WOODS**

Clarke was riding her horse silently beside Anya who had a whining Raven behind her. Raven still hated horses and refused to ride alone to Anya’s behest, but they all knew the girl didn’t mind.

“How much longer?” Raven asked,

“We’re almost there.” Anya replied before mumbling, “Thank goodness.”

“What will this feast be like?” Clarke asked Anya,

“I expect this one to be nothing like any feast we’ve ever thrown. The mountain has been our biggest foe for decades, now that it has fallen, we have much to celebrate.”

“I can’t believe Lexa refused to let me hold the feast at Delinquents.” Raven huffed, Delinquents was Raven’s attempt at an old-world club, and she was spot on. Mount Weather had several off-base camps where they stored cars and supplies. When they cleared them out all was left was this empty warehouse and Raven took full advantage. She rigged it up with all the tech, speakers,’ radios, a bar, the full works. In the end it turned out amazing and all the grounders and sky people loved it since it was in the middle of their territories.

“This isn’t a rave, Raven.”

“How dare you I run a sophisticated business.” Raven defended pinching her girlfriend in the side, “But now that you say that Rave night sounds fun, what do you think Clarke?”

“I could be into a rave.” She smiled, she loved Ravens club the alcohol was always stocked thanks to Mount Weathers endless supply, and the music was always loud enough for her to drown everything else out.

“I’m thinking black light paint, crazy clothes like in the old movies.” Raven said excitedly, “My mind is already running wild with ideas, thanks babe!”

Anya smiled at the endearing term, her and Raven decided to be a couple after Mount Weather, it was hard at first because neither of them wanted to rub it in Clarkes face, but the blonde wasn’t having any of that. She was happy for both of them and loved their relationship, was she jealous sometimes? Sure, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t happy for her friends.

After riding for a thirty more minutes or so they came to a huge gate where several guards were patrolling. Anya spoke to them and they opened the gates letting the girls through.

Polis was huge and not what Clarke was expecting, there were houses everywhere and buildings that stood tall. The main center was filled with trading posts and people everywhere, probably the most people she’s seen in one place that weren’t warriors.

It was getting dark and people were starting to light fires that lit the whole square. This place was beautiful, and all Clarke could think about was how Lexa volunteered to show it to her and how that would never happen now. She was in this amazing village and couldn’t share it with the one person she wanted to the most.

She looked around trying to take in everything when she noticed two figure walking towards them. Obviously, she knew she would have to see them but not now, she needed at least two drinks. Luckily, she spotted Luna,

“I’m going to go talk to Luna.” Clarke told the two girls who nodded understandably,

“Do you think she can handle this?” Raven whispered to her girlfriend who sighed,

“I don’t know, I hope.” Anya wanted to say she wasn’t sure either of them could handle it but Lexa and Costia were already approaching them. “Heda.”

“Anya, Raven it’s good to see you.” Lexa smiled, “Costia I do not know if you’ve properly met Raven.”

Raven smiled at the girl, giving her a wave. This was very awkward, and Raven didn’t do awkward.

“You must be Anya’s partner, I’m glad to see she’s finally been tamed.” Costia smiled,

“What can I say, I can tame even the wildest things.” Raven said and Anya blushed,

“Did you travel alone?” Lexa asked, she hoped Clarke would be here, but she wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t show.

Raven looked at Anya wondering what she should say and luckily, they were saved by Jake and Abby who was calling her name.

“Raven!”

They were walking towards them hand in hand with smiles covering their faces stopping to hug Raven.

“We were wondering when you would be arriving.” Abby said before moving to hug Anya, “It’s good to see you again Anya.”

“You too, Abby.” She smiled; Anya loved Clarke’s parents. They accepted her with open arms when Raven introduced them and were always genuinely nice to her.

“I hope to see you at the next movie night.” Jake said to the girl,

“You will, I really enjoy all the Skaikru films we’ve watched so far.”

“Commander it’s good to see you again.” Jake smiled at the woman.

“You as well Jake of the sky people.” Lexa couldn’t help but feel a ping of jealously at Anya’s close relationship with Clarke’s parents. They all seemed close and she couldn’t help but wonder if things worked out differently if she could’ve been apart of that.

“Where’s our other daughter?” Abby asked Raven who searched around before she found her.

“Over there.”

Lexa followed her finger until her eyes landed on the blonde, her hair was longer and parts of it were even pink. She had on tight leather pants and a cropped shirt that showed her stomach, over it was a black leather jacket that fit her perfectly. Lexa knew she was staring, and she almost didn’t care until she felt a hand on her back which brought her back. She looked over at Costia who just smiled, and Lexa once again felt guilty.

* * *

Clarke was surprised to actually be enjoying herself, the drinks were great and from the music she could tell Raven had some influence since she recognized some of the songs.

Luna was amazing company and she even ran into some other people she knows mainly a girl named Niylah. They met when Clarke was trading at her post and instantly hit it off. She could tell the girl liked her as more than a friend, but she knew Clarke wasn’t looking for anything romantic, so they remained strictly friends.

“Dance with me Skai girl.” Niylah smirked holding her hand out,

“I’d love nothing more.” Clarke shed from her leather jacket before taking the girls’ hand.

They made there way to the area where everyone was dancing, and Clarke couldn’t help but smile when she noticed her parents dancing as well. They looked happy and that made her happy, as happy as she can be anyways.

She decided that wasn’t something she needed to worry about right now, instead she decided to focus on Niylah’s hands on her waist and the music filling her ears. She grinded on the girl behind her expertly noticing the smirks she was getting from Luna and Raven and ignoring the glare from Anya. Of course, she would think she was doing this out of jealously and truthfully, she wasn’t. She was doing this because she wanted to have fun and forget any thought that crossed her mind about a certain green-eyed commander since she crossed into this place.

The song changed and Niylah noticed the commander scowling at her as she danced with Clarke. She didn’t know the full extent of her and Clarkes relationship, but she did know the blonde was pretty hurt by it.

Niylah knew it was no secret that Clarke knew she liked her and even if she didn’t have a chance, she would enjoy this time with the girl while she can. The song continued and Clarke turned around facing the girl smiling as they danced more.

Staring at Clarke in this light she couldn’t help but wonder what her lips would feel like. Without thinking she leaned in kissing Clarke.

* * *

Lexa’s night had been filled with lots of diplomatic discussions and some mingling with citizens. Her heart swelled as she watched her people laughing and smiling and dancing all around. Peace isn’t something they’ve known and even know with conflicts pending she hoped they could enjoy this moment.

Costia hadn’t left her side all night which she expected but hoped wouldn’t be how the night went. Her parents kept them company for a while before heading off to enjoy the festivities, Lexa suggested Costia go with them, but she refused.

More than anything Lexa just wanted a minute to alone but for the last three months that had been impossible.

As she sat on her throne zoned out from whatever conversation Titus was having with her, she noticed Clarke. She was dancing with a woman she didn’t recognize but they seemed quite close. The woman’s hands were touching and grabbing Clarkes waist as if she owned them and Clarke seemed to be enjoying it.

She watched Clarke smiling and laughing then she saw the girl kiss her and the only thing she could feel was pain.

“Lexa!” Costia rushed the girl’s side and Lexa finally looked away from the blonde and down to her hand expecting to see her cup but instead saw the glass from it in pieces.

Her hand was covered in blood and glass was lodged into her skin but she barley felt the pain from it. She sat back silently as the healer picked the glass from her hand then applied an ointment before wrapping it in fabric.

“Are you ok?” Costia asked the girl who nodded,

“Fine I just- I must’ve been holding it too tightly.”

“Right.” Costia said and Lexa looked at her like a child caught taking something they weren’t supposed to. “It’s getting late and my parents will be leaving soon I should say goodbye.”

Lexa watched Costia leave her side and walk into the crowd and instead of feeling bad she felt relieved that she was finally alone which in term made her feel terrible.

Her butt was starting to hurt from the amount of time she had been on her throne, so she decided to take a walk. She ordered her guards to keep their distance as she wanted to be alone.

Before she knew it, she was sitting by the river staring at the moons reflection and her mind wondered right back to Clarke. She refused to let her mind wonder if her feelings were ever real or not, but she knew they were. She felt it when they kissed and when they made love, she felt it every time the blue eyes found hers, so she knows it was real.

It’s not like she expected Clarke to be alone forever, but she didn’t let her mind think about the blonde being with anyone else.

“Yongon.”

Lexa turned around seeing her mother moving towards her,

“I’m sorry I’m late, we’re still rebuilding so I wanted to make sure everything was ok before I left.” Elena stood by her daughter,

“It’s ok, we still have the executions.”

“I saw Costia, she looks better.” Elena mentioned,

“She’s much better now, all the bruises are healed.”

Elena knew her daughter, she knew her better than herself and she knew Lexa wasn’t ok. She knew something was wrong and hoped Lexa would confide in her.

“Talk to me nomfri, I know something is wrong and we never hide anything from each other ai hodnes.” Elena watched as Lexa’s shoulders slumped and her eyes filled with tears that she refused to let leave her eyes.

“I’m the worst nomon.” Lexa sighed leaning into her mom feeling her arms immediately wrap around her, “I have sat up for nights wishing and praying to have her back and the moment I saw her again I was ecstatic, but my heart was also filled with dread and I hate myself for it. I hate myself because every moment I’m around Costia all I think about is Cla- and she doesn’t deserve that, she deserves more and I love her, I love her so much but what if.” Lexa stopped realizing what she was saying,

“What if you’re not in love with her anymore?” Elena asked and Lexa nodded letting her tears fall. “Then you have to be honest with yourself and you need to be honest with Costia. If you both go on this way, it won’t end well, and it will only hurt more.”

“But how can I-.” Lexa looked at her mom, “I love her.”

“First loves aren’t always your last Lexa.” She smiled, “Take it from me, love is sometimes temporary and other times it consumes you and if you’re lucky it last forever.”

“Like you and nontu?”

“Exactly.” She smiled sadly, “I loved him more than anything, but it took me being in love a couple times before I really felt what true love feels like.”

“What if I felt that with Costia?”

“If you did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

Her whole five-year relationship she always felt Costia would be hers forever, and when she lost her, she stopped believing in love completely. If she couldn’t have Costia then she couldn’t have love, then she met Clarke and that changed. She started feeling things she hadn’t felt in a long time and even things she’s never felt, and she tried to run from it, but she couldn’t. Then when she fully allowed herself to accept those feelings life threw her another curve ball.

“I know this is hard Lexa and I’m so sorry you have to go through this, but I’ve always taught you that life is unpredictable. Sometimes the decisions we have to make for ourselves don’t align with other people’s feelings. Talk to Costia then maybe talk to Clarke.”

“Clarke won’t even see me.”

“Give her a reason to.” Elena suggested, and Lexa had an idea.

* * *

The moment Clarke felt Niylah’s lips on her she felt her anger rising and her fist balling up. She stepped back seeing the woman’s apologetic look before walking away ignoring her name being called. She wiped her lips obsessively as if that would erase the kiss from having had happened.

Niylah knew where she stood and yet still crossed that line, she took away the only thing Clarke had left that reminded her of Lexa.

When she thought of Lexa, she thought how she shared her first kiss with the woman and her first time. She thought about how those were the only lips that’s ever touched hers and for some reason that gave her comfort. But now that was gone, now her lips had touched another, and it made her think about everything she didn’t want to think about like how Lexa’s probably forgotten their night together now that she has her first love back.

Being kissed opened the flood gates to every thought Clarke had pushed away for the last three months and she couldn’t take it.

Her breathing was harsh, and she was walking aimlessly until she could barley hear the music anymore. She sat against a tree resting her head in her hands trying to calm herself down. The last thing she needed was a panic attack, especially after she had just got control over them again.

She allowed herself five minutes to get it together before she got up to head back for the executions. She wasn’t walking for long when she felt a hard knock on her head and overtaken with darkness.

* * *

When Clarke opened her eyes, she was in a room she didn’t recognize, and her hands were tied behind her back. When her eyes fully adjusted, she recognized the Azgeda symbol carved into a throne and her heart dropped. She didn’t know much about Azgeda but what she did know wasn’t good.

Her eyes searched for anything else but there wasn’t much to be seen, she tried breaking her hands free, but they were tied too tight.

After sitting silently for five minutes trying to form an escape plan, she heard voices and soon three people entering.

The first were two young girls maybe 20 the first pale with dark blonde hair and the other with deep black hair and scars on her face. Then game another woman dawned in furs and luxury clothes; her face was covered in scars as well, but she had a crown. But surly this wasn’t who Clarke thought it was.

“Wanheda, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” The woman smiled,

“I wish I could say the same, but kidnap is not really my kind of foreplay.” Clarke replied getting a laugh from the woman,

“Make no mistake Wanheda, you are not a prisoner here.”

“Really, I couldn’t tell.” Clarke yanked on her tied up wrists,

“Echo untie her.” The woman ordered and the blonde immediately obeyed, “I do apologize for the confusion, but I can’t exactly have people know my secret hideout can i?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but who are you?” Clarke asked rubbing her wrists before standing in front of the woman’s throne.

“I’m Queen Nia of Azgeda.” She smiled,

“Well Queen Nia, what do I owe the pleasure?” Clarke asked genuinely curious, what had she done that deemed worthy enough to meet the queen of the most feared clan.

“I hear you’re quite the mercenary Wanheda, you’ve got rave reviews all throughout the clans.”

Clarke wanted to correct her and say bounty hunter, but it seemed unnecessary and she didn’t really feel like dying.

“You need someone killed?”

“Not exactly, I need someone taken and delivered to me.”

“Ok.” This was a simple job compared to the other one’s she’s done, “What do you have in mind for payment?”

“Money is no object, but I do think you’ll have a personal stake in this particular job.” She smirked,

“Oh?”

“I hear you and the commander had quite the short-lived fling, and i hear you were quite broken up about it.” Clarke flinched at her words but kept her face straight, “The person I want you to deliver to me could quite possibly make your life easier. I want you to bring me the commanders bed mate, Costia.”

“You want me to kidnap Costia?” Clarke repeated not sure if she heard her right, “Why?”

“Let’s just say she’s the key of getting something I want.”

“What happens if I say no?”

“Say yes and you won’t have to find out.” She flashed her wicked smile and Clarke couldn’t even believe she was in this situation.

“Wouldn’t be easier to ask me to kill Lexa, I know you two have some animosity.”

“Lexa’s demise will come but first she’ll suffer.” Nia answered, “So Wanheda do we have a deal?”

Not like I have a fucking choice, Clarke thought,

“I guess we do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more to come let me know what you think :)


	13. Clarke The Mercenary, I mean Bounty Hunter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a bad habit of typing hoe instead of how and it's getting out of hand anyways enjoy!!!
> 
> all mistakes are mine bc i suck;)

The feast went on as planned and soon it was time for the executions, Lexa felt no guilt as the three remaining mountain men were escorted out to the courtyard. They were battered and bruised mostly likely from the torture, but no one batted an eye.

“Today marks the day that the mountain has no more power over us.” Lexa said getting a few cheers, “Today we get to move on from our pain and hope for a better future. The mountain men have no power over us and now it is us that gets to decide their fate. Death by 100 cuts is too good for them, but I have no doubts that whatever after life they endure will be worst.” Lexa nodded for the cutting to start before sitting back on her throne.

Each clan got 9 cuts the final one going to SkaiKru before Lexa finished it with her sword. The screaming of the prisoners especially the one called Cage could be heard for miles and Lexa thought it was obnoxious. She hadn’t seen Clarke since her kiss with the mystery woman, but she didn’t imagine she would miss this.

When the time finally came for Skaikru to make their cuts Bellamy stepped forward to everyone’s surprise. Surly Wanheda would do it herself everyone thought but she was nowhere to be found.

Bellamy made his cuts before making his way back to his sisters’ side who seemed to be searching the crowd, most likely for Clarke.

Lexa stood from the throne, sword in hand and made her way to the prisoners who were already on the brink of death. Usually this would be the time they asked for last words, but Lexa didn’t think even deserved that sliver of kindness.

One by one she took her sword slowly pushing it into their hearts until their last breaths were taken. When It was done the crowd cheered heavily and Lexa ordered for the bodies to be discarded and burned.

The feast went on and Lexa watched silently searching the crowd for Clarke, but she was nowhere to be seen. At this point in the night Lexa wanted nothing more than to retire to her room.

“Titus.” She called and the man rushed to her side,

“Yes, Heda?”

“I’m going home, make sure the festivities don’t get too hectic.” Lexa stood from her throne, wondering if she should tell Costia she is leaving, “And inform Costia.”

“Yes Heda.”

Lexa walked through the crowd her guards by her side and soon enough she was back at her home. Typically, the commanders reside in the tower, but Lexa opted to live in her own house. Being commander demanded so much so having her own space to herself was one thing she allowed.

In saying that the house was well guarded and only a two minutes’ walk from the tower, but it was enough for her.

When she arrived, she noticed two figures standing on her porch identifying them as Anya and Raven.

“What do I owe the pleasure?” Lexa said opening her door and inviting them in,

“Well, it’s late and we didn’t want to travel so we decided to stay.” Anya answered taking a seat on the sofa.

“And Clarke disappeared probably on a job, but I don’t feel comfortable leaving without seeing her first.” Raven added and Lexa nodded wondering to herself if Clarke disappeared with the woman she was kissing tonight.

“Well you’re welcome to stay here if you want.” Lexa said,

“We’re going to stay with Octavia and Lincoln but thanks.” Anya smiled; she knew something was wrong with Lexa. “Where is Costia?”

“With her parents I think.”

“Oh.”

Raven knew there was more to the story, but she also knew Lexa wasn’t going to say anything while she was around.

“Babe I’m kind of tired so I’m going to head over to O’s.” Raven stood up throwing a yawn in before leaning down to kiss the girl.

“I can come with you.”

“No! It’s fine, you and Lexa haven’t seen each other in a while so hangout for a bit.” Raven smiled, “Bye commander.”

“Goodnight Raven.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Anya smiled clearly knowing what she was doing,

“You two seem happy.” Lexa commented as soon as they heard the door shut.

“We are.” Anya smiled widely, “Raven is well, amazing.”

“And you are close with Abby and Jake?” Lexa asked and Anya nodded,

“They’re really amazing people, we have movie nights and so far, I’ve seen 5 old world movies.” Anya explained excitedly, “Abby always wants to watch romance but me, Raven, Clarke and Jake always vote for action.” Anya continued her rant and Lexa couldn’t help but think that if she were there, she would be on Abby’s side wanting to watch romance instead of action.

“Lexa?”

“I’m sorry what did you say?”

“I said are you ok?” Anya asked looking at the girl who looked like someone just stepped on her heart,

“I’m fine, these movies sound interesting.”

“We will watch one together one day.” Anya smiled, “Tell me what’s wrong, I know something’s not right. Is it Costia?”

Lexa wanted to say yes! But it wasn’t Costia it was her; she was the problem; she was the reason this wasn’t working anymore and the only option it seemed like she had was to break Costia’s heart and she couldn’t do that. Could she?

“I-.” Lexa stopped hearing the door open and the girl in question enter the room.

“Hi.” Costia smiled joining the pair in the sitting area,

“Hey.” Anya greeted, “How are your parents?”

“Fine, same as before surprisingly.” Costia replied, “Everything else feels so different so it was nice seeing they haven’t changed too much.”

Anya eyed the girl then looked at Lexa who was staring in her lap and she wondered if something was going on. Sure, Lexa had asked her about Clarke a few times, but she thought it was out of worry, but seeing how awkward things are with the pair makes her think Lexa chose the wrong girl.

Costia being back made it seem obvious that Lexa would choose her, and she did but there is also Clarke who didn’t feel like she was ever a choice. As soon as everything was done with the mountain the blonde disappeared, even Anya didn’t see her for a month, but she understood why. She understood Clarke needed time to process and try to move on but that was proving impossible. Even if Clarke didn’t say it, she knew her feelings the only question was were Lexa’s the same?

“Well I can assure you TonDC is the same.” Anya said trying to lighten the mood, “You’ll have to visit sometime.” She suggested then kicked herself because Clarke also visited TonDC often and the last thing she needed was to make the blonde feel worse.

“Yeah, maybe I will.” She smiled, “I’m going to head to bed, it was good seeing you Anya.”

“You too.” She called after the girl who was half in the other room, she wanted to talk to Lexa but with Costia here she didn’t want her to overhear anything. “Is everything ok?”

Lexa sighed, “I don’t know.” She mumbled,

“How about we go for a ride tomorrow?” Anya suggested,

“I can’t, I’m calling a meeting with the ambassadors.” Lexa said,

“Oh? Did something happen?” Anya asked,

“No.” she sighed, “I want to make Skaikru the 12th clan.”

* * *

The next time Clarke opened her eyes she was back in Polis and it was the next day. Luckily, the Queen allowed her to stay conscious this time around she just had to where a covering over her head as her guards escorted her back to the capital.

Nia’s words echoed in her mind as she walked through the woods with one of her guards.

* * *

_A few hours before_

“So Wanheda do we have a deal?” Nia asked and Clarke felt trapped, clearly there was no other option but to say

“I guess we do.”

“Great.” She smiled, “Then let me go over a few details, you’ll have a week to get the job done. I don’t care how you do it or even if she’s hurt when she arrives, but she must be alive. Once you have captured her Echo will escort both of you back here to me and we’ll discuss payment. Any questions?”

“How exactly do you expect me to get anywhere near the commander and Costia?” Clarke asked trying not to cringe as she said the girls name,

“It will save a lot of time if you didn’t ask foolish questions Wanheda.” She said rolling her eyes, “I know you have some sort of relationship with Lexa, use that get close to her do whatever it takes I don’t care just get the job done. Anything else?”

“Nope.” Clarke replied,

“Good.” Nia said standing up from her throne and walking closer to Clarke who didn’t flinch, “And if it doesn’t go without saying, if you try and cross me or even outsmart me I’ll make you wish you were never born ‘commander of death’. Echo will be in Polis watching your every move.”

Nia ordered something to Echo in trig before the girl escorted Clarke into the next room which was a bathroom. She looked around seeing a bath drawn and new clothes, it wasn’t until she looked in the mirror that she could see how dirty she was.

She quickly got undressed scrubbing the dirt from her body and nails before drying herself and putting on the new clothes. For ruthless killers they were decent kidnappers supplying her with a warm bath and new clothes.

The door opened and the one called Echo asked if she was ready and she nodded, following her. She couldn’t help but feel like she knew this girl from somewhere, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. Meanwhile it seemed she had bigger problems to worry about.

* * *

_Present_

“If you’re going to be here watching me why didn’t she just order you to kidnap Costia?” Clarke turned to Echo who has been walking with her for the past ten minutes.

“Because unlike you I can’t get anywhere near the commander.” She answered plainly, and Clarke couldn’t help but wonder again where she knew this girl from.

“What happens from here?” Clarke asked,

“You return to your friends, if they ask you had a job to take care of and if they ever see us talking you know me from Delinquents.”

“You’ve been there?” Clarke asked curiously,

“Of course, not but Queen Nia has been watching you for a while now, she knows you frequent there.”

“Fun, I’ve been observed. Why do I feel like I’m in a movie?” She asked herself mostly but noted Echo’s confused face and there was no way she was explaining what the fuck a movie was again. “How do we meet?”

“You’ll meet me at the trading post before sunset in three days to let me know your progress.”

“Ok.” Clarke nodded before walking towards the village,

“And Clarke.” Echo said stopping the girl, “Don’t underestimate Nia, she is ruthless and won’t hesitate to kill you and everyone you know if you betray her.”

“No pressure then.” Clarke replied, she was going to figure out how she knew this girl.

Polis wasn’t a very familiar place to her seeing as her first time here was yesterday and she didn’t see much of it. She had no clue where she was going or even if Raven and Anya were still here, but she prayed to god they were.

Her head was reeling trying to figure out what the fuck she was going to do regarding her latest bounty. It just had to be Costia, any other stranger and Clarke would have happily delivered but this?

No matter what her feelings were she cared about Lexa that much was clear so there was no way she could do this, right? One way or another this leads to Lexa’s death, that much is sure. The queen wants her to suffer first but Clarke refused to have any part in the death of someone she-.

“Clarke, thank god!” Raven walked up to the blonde hugging her then slapping her in the arm,

“What the hell?”

“That’s for disappearing without telling me! Where did you even go, off with the blonde from last night?”

“What?” Clarke asked, she almost forgot about Niylah. “No, I had a job, it took longer than I thought.”

“Runner?”

“Definitely had to travel a while for it.” Clarke said, “Where is Anya?”

“Talking to Lexa, apparently somethings going on I don’t know. She didn’t tell me any details, why?”

“I really need to talk to her.” If anyone could help her that she trusted it was Anya, but she still wasn’t 100% sure she even wanted to bring anyone else into this.

“Ok, I think she’s at the tower, come on.”

* * *

“This is selfish, and you know it!” Anya asserted to an annoyed Lexa who wanted nothing more for this several hour conversation to be over. “You don’t need to bring her in this Lexa she’s not their leader.”

“But she is well respected within the clans, they will accepted Skaikru into the coalition if Wanheda is at the forefront.” Lexa said sitting back on her throne.

“That’s not why you’re doing this, and you know it, plus she won’t even see you!”

“She will if I order it.”

“So, you’re going to force her?” Anya yelled, “Lexa she’s already hurting-.”

“She’s not the only one!” Lexa yelled and Anya stopped staring at the girl,

“Tell me the real reason you’re doing this.” Anya all but demanded, “Skaikru has been nothing but helpful and peaceful since the mountain, Kane could easily get approval from the ambassadors, you don’t need Clarke.”

Lexa paused trying to calm herself down, but Anya was making it impossible, there was no one else beside her nomon that could talk to her this way and get away with it and it frustrated her. It frustrated her that Anya was right, but this felt like her only option.

“I need to see her.” Lexa mumbled,

“This isn’t the way.”

“It’s the only way, like you said she won’t see me.”

“Lexa, I don’t know what’s going on and you know I am always here for you, always but this is not the way. Clarke is-.” She sighed trying to find the words without breaking the blonde’s trust. “It took a lot just to get her to come here for the feast, she wanted to stay behind, and do you know why? She didn’t want you to have to see her, as crazy as that sounds. She’s hurt and of course it would hurt to see you but she knew it would hurt more for you to see her because while Costia was locked away you were with her and she knew you’d feel guilty about that. She knew that so she’s stayed away, she doesn’t ask about you and she tried not to be anywhere you are and as much as it’s for her benefit, it’s for yours too.”

“I never asked for any of this, I don’t want to hurt her Anya.” Lexa said trying push everything back down, but it wasn’t working,

“I know that and so does she but forcing her to meet with you isn’t going to make anything better.”

“I have to.”

“No, you don’t!”

“You’re my family yet you stand here arguing against me.”

“Clarke is my family too now.” Anya said watching Lexa’s face fall,

“So, you would choose her?”

“You would ask me to choose?”

Lexa stared at the girl for a minute trying to figure out how they got here, how after knowing each other their whole lives they were arguing like they never have before. Anya knew her better than anyone and she trusted her with her life, but she needed to talk to Clarke, she had to.

“Of course, I wouldn’t.” Lexa said finally, “But I still have to do this.”

Anya clenched her jaw,

“While you’re so focused on talking to Clarke there is a girl at your house waiting for you. Don’t you think you should be talking to her first cause clearly something is not right. When Clarke shows up, me her and Raven are going back to TonDC.”

Lexa sighed against her throne watching Anya walk towards the door stopping as it opened, and a very annoyed Clarke and Raven were escorted in.

“What the hell?” Anya turned to Lexa who stood,

“Ryder, Alec you can go.” Lexa ordered and they bowed before leaving.

“What’s going on?” Clarke turned to Anya who was still starring angrily at Lexa,

“Anh?” Raven asked her girlfriend who huffed,

“Lexa, please.” Anya tried again,

“What the hell is going on?” Clarke asked again,

“I would like to discuss some things with you Clarke.” Lexa answered noticing Clarke flinch at her words.

Clarke looked around trying to figure out what was happening and why Anya looked so pissed,

“So, you had me escorted here?” Clarke asked finally looking at the green eyes she been avoiding for three months. 

“I’m sorry but it is important.”

“Fine but I need to talk to Anya about something first.” She turned to the girl trying to pull her aside noticing how the guards eyed her,

“It can wait, this won’t take long.” Lexa said motioning for them to sit, she saw how Clarke looked to Anya often and it was almost as if they were communicating without words. _It annoyed her._

“What is this about?” Clarke asked,

“This is about Skaikru joining my coalition.” Lexa smiled before seeing the blondes face turn to somewhere in between annoyance and anger,

Is she kidding, Clarke wondered,

“So, send for Kane. I don’t speak for Skaikru.” Clarke said standing up then turning to Anya, “It’s really important.”

Lexa didn’t know what was going on and that added to the list of things annoying her today.

“Lexa-.”

“No Anya this is important too.” Lexa said facing Clarke who looked at her and rolled her eyes,

“Fine but I can assure you what I have to say takes the cake for importance. I won’t talk to you until everyone leaves this room, besides Raven and Anya.” Clarke stated before sitting down and crossing her arms.

No one demands Lexa, no one.

But as Clarke requested, she sent everyone away if it meant getting to talk to her she’d do almost anything.

Once everyone was gone Clarke sighed trying to figure out if she was doing the right thing, but she had no choice, it was this or actually do what Nia was asking.

“As I was saying-.” Lexa started but Clarke interrupted,

“I was kidnapped last night by Azgeda soldiers who took me to god knows where, where I met Queen Nia and she hired me for a job to kidnap and deliver Costia to her before the end of the week.” Clarke said in one breathe, avoiding Lexa all together choosing Anya who looked blank.

“Shit.” Raven muttered, “What did you say?”

“Well since I had no clue where I was and she pretty much threatened to kill me if I didn’t agree what do you think?” Clarke asked and Raven shrugged,

“You agreed to this?” Lexa said and everyone could hear the disgust in her voice,

“To get out of there yes.” Clarke said standing her ground, “If I was actually going to do it, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

“And you are only here because I ordered it so how do I know you would’ve come to me otherwise?” Lexa asked,

“I guess you don’t.” Clarke replied, was she really accusing her of actually going through with this? “I was coming to Anya.”

“Why, it has nothing to do with her.” Lexa said,

“Because I trust her, and I needed help from someone!”

“So, you don’t trust me?” Lexa asked trying to hide her hurt, but it was useless, Clarke’s face fell, and she suddenly felt like she needed to get out of this room.

“This isn’t helping.” Anya interrupted, “What else did she say?”

Clarke explained every detail down to Echo walking her through the woods, she tried not to leave anything out and when she was sure that was everything she sat back and let everyone digest what she just said.

“Listen, I don’t care what I have to do I’ll kill her myself, but she threatened the people I love so whatever we plan it has to be discrete.” Clarke said and the others nodded,

“Azgeda is at least a two-day trip from here so wherever she took you had to be near.” Anya said, “Did you notice anything or hear the guards talking that could give you a clue as to where she’s hiding?”

“No.” Clarke sighed, “I was knocked out the first time but when we were coming back to polis it was dead silent, the trip couldn’t have been more than two hours though.”

“She could be anywhere.” Lexa huffed, “Are you sure you didn’t hear anything?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Clarke was trying hard not to get frustrated with the woman, she knew this would be stressful for her since it involves her partner but questioning her every decision wasn’t getting them anywhere.

“What about this girl Echo, did she say anything?” Anya asked,

“No, only that she would meet me in three days and to not underestimate Nia.”

“Do you know where she’s staying?” Lexa asked,

“No, just that it’s in Polis.”

“Did she have scars on her face or any tattoo’s?”

“No.” Clarke shook her head.

“She’s a spy.” Anya sighed, “She’ll blend in here most likely telling people she’s from one of the other clans.”

“I feel like I’ve seen her before this.” Clarke admits, “I just have no clue where.”

“You’ve probably seen her at the feast.” Anya shrugged,

“Maybe.” Clarke murmured but that wasn’t it, it was something else. “What am I supposed to do?”

“We have two options; we capture Echo and torture her for the location of the Queen and risk alerting Nia or we try and flip the spy. Azgeda warriors aren’t usually sympathetic enough to warn people like Echo did so maybe we can exploit that. Figure out why she’s a spy and if she is as loyal to Nia as we think.” Lexa said,

“And if she doesn’t help us?” Clarke asked,

“Then we figure something else out.”

“That’s not good enough!” Clarke replied, “She threatened my family, the people I love, and I can’t let them get hurt because of this.”

“What are you saying? You would deliver Costia to Nia if we don’t find another plan?” Lexa asked watching Clarke carefully,

Of course, she wouldn’t, right? She didn’t want to but letting her family die for this is also not a choice for her.

“This is isn’t personal Lexa and I know what you may think but I don’t want to do this and if it were any other stranger they would’ve been delivered by now. I need a plan that works so if Echo doesn’t help us, I’m going to do whatever it takes to insure the people I love stay safe even if that means hunting down Nia myself and killing her.”

“Maybe you should send Costia away for a while?” Raven suggested trying to break the tension between the two, “Make sure she’s safe until we fix this.”

“Sending her away wouldn’t be wise.” Lexa sighed, “It could give them an opportunity to capture her while she traveled, and she would never go.”

Clarke hated being in this room and in this situation, the last thing she wanted was for her latest priority to be keeping Lexa’s girlfriend safe. Was this her penance for Mount Weather? For killing all those people then killing more for hire months later?

It was hard enough being in the same room as Lexa and as much as she tried to avoid the girls gaze, she couldn’t. First it was her eyes, they were still as green and beautiful as she remembered but more tired now, then it was her lips, plump and pink and probably just as soft as before. She needed to get out of this room.

“Clarke.” Anya said touching the girl’s hand, “You ok?”

She nodded trying to regain whatever self-preservation she had left, the conversation continued around her, but she couldn’t force herself to listen. Most of it was about Costia’s safety and she figured she needed to add nothing to that conversation.

As terrible as it was Clarke only cared about the girl’s safety because of Lexa. Costia was someone she cared about and loved, and Clarke cared about Lexa which was the only reason she was here.

She cared about Lexa so much it was painful because she wasn’t hers and she never would be.

Three months later and she’s trying to be ok with that but her body, mind everything won’t let her, now she’s in this mess with seemingly no way out of it. If she knew this was where bounty hunting would lead her she might've reconsidered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you guys think sorry this is shorter my microsoft hates me and i lost a couple files i'm trying to recover so love that for me!!! hopr you guys are having an amazing day/night!!!!!


	14. I could fall in love with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is what you are in for:  
> Annoyed Clarke  
> Jealous Costia  
> Ranya being cute  
> Torn Lexa  
> Badass Clarke  
> Amused Raven  
> Annoyed Anya  
> Flirty Clarke  
> Clexa moments that leave our girls........ well read and find out!

It was hours later, and Clarke couldn’t stand being in the throne room any longer, nothing new was coming from the discussion and seeing Lexa sneak glances at her wasn’t helping.

She could’ve had a clean break, she could’ve never seen Lexa again and let her live out her fairytale life but no, she wasn’t that lucky. Now she was in the middle of it and she couldn’t even leave.

The plan was never to stay in Polis longer than the day and now she has to stay for at least the week if they make it out of this alive. At this rate it wasn’t looking too good.

“Hi Clarke.”

Her body froze at the voice, she didn’t know if it was possible but apparently her day could get worse.

“Hello.” Clarke replied staring at the beautiful woman in front of her, the one she’s supposed to be kidnapping.

“I didn’t know you would be staying in Polis.” The girl said and if Clarke didn’t know better, she’d say she had an attitude about it,

“I have a few jobs here so I’m sticking around for that.” Clarke replied hoping this was the end of this conversation. The whole thing was awkward as hell and clearly Costia isn’t the same thankful girl she met 3 months ago, which made her wonder if Lexa told her about them.

“Oh, right you are a mercenary now.” The girl smiled, “Fitting for someone called Wanheda I suppose.”

“Bounty hunter mostly.” Clarke corrected,

“Right, well how’s that been?”

“Good, though my latest job has been quite the headache.” Clarke smiled,

“Well I’m sure you’ll catch them in no time.”

If you only knew, Clarke thought.

“Anyways I came to see Lexa, we always eat lunch together around this time.”

“Fun.” Clarke said not even trying to hide her distain anymore, if was clear Costia didn’t like her much she just didn’t know why.

The two girls stared at each other for a moment before they heard the door opening behind them. Clarke didn’t bother turning she knew it was Lexa just from the huge smile on Costia’s face.

“Niron.” Costia smiled making her way over to the commander planting a kiss on the woman’s lips completely surprising her.

Clarke refused to watch the rest of this play out, this was torture enough as is. She gave Anya and Raven a look one she knew they’d understand before they joined her walking anywhere but here. She was grateful to have these two by her side, these last three months wouldn’t have been survivable without them.

“That was a little much.” Raven said references the PDA between Lexa and Costia, “I didn’t even know Lexa could do things like that in public.”

“She can’t and Costia knows that.” Anya was no stranger when it came to Costia, she’s known her as long as Lexa had but she also saw a side to her that Lexa was blind to.

Costia was an incredibly jealous person specifically when it came to Lexa, growing up they were close and Costia rarely wanted Lexa around anyone else. She was possessive and at times toxic, but Lexa loved her, and Anya just assumed it was for reasons no one else knew. That maybe Lexa saw a side of her that no one else could but she was still weary of Costia.

She never doubted the girls love for Lexa, it was clear to anyone they loved each other but sometimes love clouds your judgement, and Costia was known to cloud Lexa’s.

Although this time around something was different specifically with Lexa, obviously it involved Clarke she just didn’t know if it meant she wanted to be with Clarke and honestly, she wasn’t even sure if Lexa knew herself.

“I really want to leave here.” Clarke sighed taking a seat at the empty training grounds, “This fucking sucks.”

“We’ll figure this out Clarke.” Raven reassured,

“Or the queen will kill me and possibly you guys since Echo literally said she’ll kill everyone I know.”

“Be positive.” Anya said, “We are going to figure this out, you or anyone else dying isn’t an option.”

Clarke wanted to be positive, but everything was looking bleak.

“Where are we staying?” Clarke asked as an attempt to change the subject.

“Well...” Anya sighed, she knew Clarke wouldn’t like what she was about to say, “Lexa wants you to stay in the tower.”

“Why?” Clarke asked,

“Because it’s safe and also will look like you are getting close to the commander as Nia wants you too. Not just anyone can stay in the tower, I don’t think it’s a bad idea honestly.”

“As long as you guys are there too.” Clarke said and they nodded, “I’m sorry for bringing you guys into this.”

“You’re my sister, you really think I would let you deal with this alone?” Raven smiled, “And Anya loves you too even if she won’t say it.”

“I know.” Clarke smirked as the older girl rolled her eyes, Anya wasn’t big on sentiments except when it came to Raven. “What do we do now?”

“Act like normal, especially you.” Anya said, “For all we know the spy could be watching you right now, so we all need to be careful. No talking about any of this outside of the tower starting now, ok?”

“This is some movie shit.” Raven pointed and Clarke nodded,

“Totally what I was thinking.” The blonde agreed,

* * *

If there was one thing, Lexa could say about today it’s that it did not go as planned and even that would be an understatement. For months she’s been waiting for an attack from Azgeda but there had been nothing until now.

Nia made her move and even though she knew the cold-hearted tactics of the women this was unexpected. If anything, she expected it to be more direct, and maybe in a way it was when she chose to bring Clarke into this.

She knew of the rumors of her and Clarkes brief relationship, it wasn’t like the day on the mountain they were being that discrete. There was no kissing, but Lexa did hold the girl’s hand and show small acts of affection so it’s not surprising people know.

She often wondered if Costia knew but she knew she did, even though Lexa hadn’t come out and said it the woman wasn’t stupid. They didn’t talk about it, they barley talked at all mostly due to Lexa. She knew they couldn’t go on like this and maybe before she learned of Nia plans, they would’ve talk about everything they needed to but how could they now?

How could Lexa even attempt to explain her feelings when she knew they would hurt the girl. The girl who has been trapped in a cage for a year thinking of getting back to her, she couldn’t be that selfish. She loved Costia and eventually things would be back to how they were before she just needed to try harder.

“Why do we have to stay in the tower?” Costia asked as they walked to Lexa’s old room,

Lexa hadn’t told her about Nia’s threat, maybe she should’ve but not tonight. The last thing she needed was for the girl to worry but moving them into the tower seemed to do that anyways.

“It’s just for a few days, with winter coming I thought it would be a good time to fix the roof on the house and other things that need done.” Lexa answered, not a complete lie but also not the full truth.

“I’ve been telling you to that for years.” Costia smiled,

“Well now it’s happening.”

“I heard Clarke, Anya and Raven are staying here too.” Costia pointed out and Lexa sighed, she knew it would come up, but they hadn’t talked much at all since Costia kissed her in front of the blonde which she wasn’t happy about at all.

As Heda she did not do things like that and Costia knows that better than anyone.

“Anya is here doing a few missions for me and Clarke and Raven are her guest.”

“I understand Raven but why Clarke?”

“They are friends, for any other explanation you’d have to ask Anya.” Lexa replied slightly annoyed, a questionnaire was not in her night plans.

“Right.” Costia sighed unpacking her things silently.

Lexa took the silence as an opportunity to escape to the bathroom where she undid her braids and changed into her sleep dress.

When she walked back into the room Costia was in bed, only one light remained on. She knew the woman wasn’t sleep and that meant she was probably going to ask her more questions which she wasn’t in the mood for.

“There’s a few books in the library I’ve been wanting to read, I think I’ll go there before bed.”

“Lexa it’s late.” Costia sighed sitting up, she knew she was fighting a loosing battle and she wasn’t even sure if Lexa was truly going to the library.

“I won’t be long, I promise.” She smiled slightly before leaving the room.

Books were a good escape especially when she had so much on her mind, it gave her an out. Even for a short time she could forget being heda and all the issues she had to fix.

No one ever used to library but her so when she opened the door, she was surprised to see a certain blonde sitting at one of the tables.

At that moment she knew she should’ve turned around but instead she walked past the table to the bookshelf and grabbed a book.

Clarke didn’t hear her enter but she saw her walking to the table which made her stop completely ripping out her headphones.

“Hi.” Lexa said, but it sounded awkward,

“I uh- I can leave Anya said it would be fine if I was in here but if it’s not, I can go back to my room.” Clarke said almost panicky and she didn’t know if it was because she thought she was in Lexa’s private room or if it was seeing Lexa in a dress.

“No, stay.” Lexa replied quickly, “Anya was right, technically it is a public room. Do you mind if I join you?”

Clarke shook her head before putting her headphones back in and returning to her drawing.

Lexa could barley focus on the words in front of her, mostly because her eyes kept drifting over to the blonde in front of her. Her long hair was in one neat braid down her shoulder and she was only in a black shirt and shorts that showed her beautiful pale legs amazingly. _She should’ve never sat down._

“Is something wrong?” Clarke asked almost startlingly Lexa who was zoned out staring at the girl,

“No.”

“Then why are you starring at me?” Clarke asked seeing Lexa’s cheeks turn slightly red,

“I- I was wondering what those were.” Lexa said pointing to the headphones in the blonde’s ears,

“Oh.” Clarke said disappointedly, it was stupid to think Lexa was looking at her especially with her girlfriend somewhere down the hall. “They’re headphones they play music from this.” She held up the mp3 that she took from mount weather because why not.

“Interesting.” Lexa said starring at the device as if it was the most amazing invention,

“Do you want to hear?” Clarke asked walking over to sit on the couch hoping Lexa would join her and she did.

“Is this the same music Raven plays as well?” Lexa asked grabbing one of the earphones,

“Yes, except I have better music taste than her.” Clarke smiled and Lexa realized how much she missed that smile. “This is a good one.” She pressed play and Lexa’s ears filled with the beautiful sounds she wasn’t familiar with.

She listened silently to the lyrics and couldn’t help but wonder if there was a reason Clarke picked this song.

**_I could lose my heart tonight_ **

**_If you don't turn and walk away_ **

**_'Cause the way I feel I might_ **

**_Lose control and let you stay_ **

**_'Cause I could take you in my arms_ **

**_And never let go_ **

**_I could fall in love (in love) with you_ **

**_I could fall in love (in love) with you (with you baby)_ **

**_I can only wonder how_ **

**_Touching you would make me feel_ **

**_But if I take that chance right now_ **

**_Tomorrow will you want me still (baby, do you want me?)_ **

**_So, I should keep this to myself_ **

**_And never let you know_ **

The song continued and all Lexa could focus on was how close Clarke was to her, they were sharing the headphones so they couldn’t be feet apart, but their shoulders were touching, and she could feel the blondes breathe on her bare arm.

They hadn’t been this close since their night together and Lexa couldn’t deny how right it felt, how it’s the rightest thing she’s felt in months. How this small moment can make her whole body come alive in ways it’s never had before, **_in ways it never had with Costia_** _._

Costia who was waiting in her room right now while she was here.

“Do you like music?” Lexa asked softly and Clarke nodded,

“Music and Art are two of my favorite things, I find that in especially music a song can say more than I ever could with my own words.” Clarke said almost hoping Lexa would understand what she meant, but all she did was nod,

“I’m- I’m really sorry about how I acted earlier not only about accusing you of wanting to turn Costia in but also for forcing you to see me.” Lexa said,

“It’s ok.” She couldn’t even be mad, seeing Lexa even though it’s hard is something she’s secretly wanted for months but being here now she knew she was playing with fire. Fire that would only burn her in the end.

“I really just- I mean I knew you didn’t want to see me but-.”

“Lexa?”

Both girls turned quickly seeing none other than Costia standing at the door behind them. Lexa hopped up quickly knowing how bad the whole thing looked but Costia’s face was unreadable which was scary.

“I couldn’t sleep so I thought I would join you, maybe read as well but I see you’re busy.” Costia snarked looking at Clarke with the look of death but the blonde didn’t flinch she just stood up and grabbed her drawing pad and mp3.

“We were just talking, she’s all yours.” Clarke said smiling at the girl before leaving, both understanding the double meaning.

Lexa stood quietly as Costia made her way over to the couch sitting where Clarke sat minutes ago.

“What are you reading?” she asks, and Lexa looks at her confused before searching for the book she had ten minutes ago, “Were you even reading?”

“What?”

“Or did you come here to see her?” Costia asked,

“She was here when I got here and yes, I came here to read.” Lexa answered honestly,

“Do you love me?”

“What?” Lexa gasped thrown completely off guard at the girl’s question,

“Do you love me?” she repeated,

“Of course, I love you Costia.”

“Do you love Clarke?” She asked and Lexa stopped breathing,

“Cos.” She sighed,

“I don’t even want to know.” Costia grabbed her hand pulling the girl closer, “I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you and I knew you were mine forever. I knew you were my love and I know that now too. I know things are different now Lex, but I want this to work and I know you do too.”

That was true Lexa did want this to work she just didn’t know if it could anymore.

“So please can we just try and fix this, I mean really try niron.” Costia begged and all Lexa could feel was her own heartbreaking, no not breaking shattering into a million miniature pieces. Because deep down she knew that no matter how much she wanted this to work there was a huge part of her that didn’t, a huge part that wanted someone else more but how could she say that?

It’s simple really, she couldn’t.

* * *

The next day Clarke woke up in a mountain of furs in a huge comfortable bed that felt to good to leave but life had other plans for her.

“Knock Knock!” Raven chanted busting through the doors, “Wake up bitch, we’ve got work to do!”

“Work?” Clarke groaned,

“Well Anya told me to wake you for training and she might have a potential job for you.”

“Since when is Anya my boss?” Anya usually stayed away from anything that had to do with Clarkes job,

“She’s not but a friend of hers asked for your help.”

“Fine.” Clarke sighed, “10 minutes.” 

Clarke quickly washed her face and threw her long hair into a ponytail before throwing on some leather pants a black sports bra top and her blue jacket. She hadn’t really thought about training, but Anya did say do things as normal, she also hoped this job would be a quick one.

While she walked down to the training grounds, she let her mind wonder back to last night. Her main reason for going to the library that night was to draw and get Lexa off her mind, but we know how that turned out.

The moment she saw Lexa she knew she should’ve left but she couldn’t, her body wouldn’t let her because any chance to be close to the girl she wanted. And when she volunteered to play the girl a song it felt like her chance to try and say how she feels even if it didn’t help.

She knew Lexa loved Costia, but this was her way of knowing in the end she got to tell Lexa how she felt even when the outcome didn’t come out in her favor. She did feel bad when Costia walked in though even if they weren’t doing anything it was awkward, so she fled the scene as soon as possible.

Luna did say she was a jealous person but, in this case, she had many reasons to be.

When she arrived at training Anya was waiting like she always was but there was another person as well, a woman. She wasn’t much taller than her, but she had fire red hair pouty lips and an amazing body from what Clarke could tell. All in all, she was very beautiful.

“Anya.”

“Clarke this is Davina an old friend of mine.” Anya gestured to the girl who was already looking at Clarke,

“Wanheda, it’s a pleasure.” Davina smiled, “You are more beautiful than rumors suggest.”

“Well Davina I know a beautiful woman when I see it and you definitely are.” Clarke smiled ignoring the look she was getting from Anya who was always trying to ruin her fun. Flirting was harmless at least to her it was, “What do I owe the pleasure Davina?”

“Davina is searching for someone and she was hoping you could help her.” Anya answered,

“That’s vague.” Clarke says looking at the girl,

“She said she would explain.”

Clarke nodded asking Davina to follow her to a spot so they could sit alone.

“So, Davina who is this man you would like me to find?” Clarke asked and the girl sighed digging into her bag pulling out a paper and handing it to Clarke.

“His name is Weylin.” She said as Clarke examined the drawing she gave her, “Six months ago he broke into my home in my village and slaughtered my family and then- he came into my room and tried to- but he was stopped by my neighbors and taken. On their way here to polis for punishment they disappeared. It wasn’t until two months ago when I saw him again, I learned he was taken by the mountain men and freed when you and Heda killed the mountain men. I went to the guards, but they refused to hear me out and that is what led me to you. I can’t pay you much, but I must have vengeance for my family, I must.”

Clarke could see how desperate she was, and she couldn’t help but feel a little responsible. It was her who freed the people in the mountain and until this very moment it never crossed her mind that some prisoners may be just as bad as the mountain men were.

“Do you know where I could start looking for him?” Clarke asked, and Davina smiled widely

“Yes, as of the past week he’s been staying in the village over from here.”

“You know where he is?”

“I sort of started watching him.” Davina says guiltily,

“My next question I’m going to need a straight answer, do you want him found or killed?” This was always a question she asked when it wasn’t clear, most of her jobs have just been bounty’s but there have been many where she’s had to kill, and she didn’t feel bad about it. None of them were good people to say the least.

“I want him brought to heda, for prosecution.” She said hesitantly,

“Ok, we’ll leave now.”

“No, it has to be at night. Him and his friends will be drinking like they do every night, he won’t expect it.”

“Ok.” Clarke nodded, “Do you train?”

“Of course.”

“Then we’ll train to kill some time I’m sure Anya would love another person to torture.” She smiled,

When they returned Anya was waiting and Davina decided to sit and watch for a while.

“Do you really have to flirt with everyone?” Anya asked the blonde who smiled,

“What are you calling me a whore?”

“Of course, not.” Anya said seriously and Clarke laughed.

“Relax it’s a joke, you take everything I say so seriously sometimes.”

* * *

Training with the Natblida’s was something Lexa looked forward to the most during her week. She loved the kids and took great pride in getting to train them and so did they.

Unfortunately, today her eyes demanded her to take great pride in something else and that was Clarke who was training with Anya across from them.

The girl had improved tremendously since 3 months ago and she was proud of her. She hadn’t seen or talked to her since the library and she didn’t know if she should or could with Costia breathing down her neck.

After last night she decided the best thing would be to tell Costia the truth, to tell her she couldn’t do this anymore. That for both of them they needed to end this cause she could see what she was putting the girl through and she hated it.

She hated the look Costia would give her when she refused her advances or when they kissed, she felt nothing, and it was like Costia could sense it. She didn’t deserve what Lexa was giving her which wasn’t much, she deserved so much more, and she wanted her to have it.

So that’s why last night all she could say to Costia asking her to try was,

_“I don’t know if I can.”_

_“What do you mean you don’t know if you can.” She spat, “You haven’t even tried.”_

_“I have tried!” Lexa yelled back, “I’ve tried so hard but I- you’re still exactly how I remember you. Your smile still takes up your whole face and you nose still scrunches up when you first open your eyes in the morning. Everything I love about you is still the same but I’m not the same Cos. I’m the one that’s changed, and I don’t blame you, but I also can’t just sit here and act like I’m the same Lexa you knew because I’m not.”_

_“Then let me know this Lexa, let me show you that I can love her just as much.”_

_“This isn’t about how much you love me Cos.”_

_“You’re right it’s about how much you don’t love me anymore, but we can get that back and I’m not giving up.”_

_Lexa sighed,_

_“Let’s go to bed we can discuss this tomorrow.”_

They in fact have not discussed it further, Costia pretty much pretended the conversation never happened giving her a good morning kiss before heading downstairs to get them breakfast. Lexa was at a loss, she figured she could only deal with this properly after they’ve dealt with Nia.

Now she’s at training and Costia decided she wanted to join her for that even though Titus was not happy about it. She didn’t interrupt just sat quietly watching but still.

“Good job Aden, you’ve done well.” Lexa smiled praising the boy who was blushing hard,

“Thank you Heda.” He bowed, “I have a great teacher.”

“Flattery can only get you so far Natblida.” She smiled, “Go join the others.”

Aden bowed before running over to the other kids for their lesson with Titus and Lexa headed over to Costia.

“I’m done, would you like to join me inside too?” Lexa asked almost annoyed but the girl either didn’t notice or didn’t care,

“We should stay, I’d like to see what is so special about the great Wanheda.” She smiled before joining the other in the pit where Clarke was fighting a red-haired woman she didn’t know.

Clarke won obviously but the red-haired woman didn’t seem upset they were laughing and talking Anya joining in.

“Hey Wanheda, up for one more match?”

Lexa watched wide-eyed as Costia made her way down to the pit challenging Clarke who looked somewhat amused.

“You want to fight me?” Clarke asked looking at the girl then to Lexa who looked surprised,

“Why not?” the girl shrugged, and Clarke didn’t know what to do, on one hand she felt like she should refuse but on the other Costia’s smirk was annoying and she figured she had nothing to lose.

“Fine.” Clarke smiled grabbing her staff,

“Clarke.” Anya warned, “You really think this is a good idea.”

“She asked me.” The blonde whispered back,

“You could say no.”

“Are you scared she’ll beat me?”

“No and that’s not the point and you know it.”

“Relax Anh, it’ll be fine.” The blonde winked before turning back to her newest opponent.

“You and Lexa are going to be the death of me.” Anya mumbled to herself going to stand by Raven who was amused by the whole situation.

“You should know Lexa trained me.” Costia smiled,

“Is that supposed to scare me?” Clarke asked seriously,

“No just thought I’d mention it.”

Costia made the first move swinging her staff at the blonde who blocked it without a problem. She wasn’t sure how fair this fight was even if Lexa did train Costia she was trapped in a place that bled her for a year and Clarke’s been training nonstop for months.

A couple minutes in and Clarke was already over it, plus it was getting dark and she could see Davina was getting antsy.

She decided to give Costia a few hits before knocking her staff out of her hand and pinning her to the ground, so they were faced to face.

“This has been fun, and I could really do this all night, but bounties don’t catch themselves hun.” Clarke winked climbing off the girl and holding her hand out which Costia took surprisingly, “We should rematch soon.” Clarke said kind of feeling bad for the girl,

“Maybe.” She said trying to smile but it looked more like a scowl and Clarke took that as her time to exit.

She grabbed her jacket and told Anya and Raven where she was headed before her and Davina went off into the woods.

* * *

Lexa was filled to the brim with dread as she watches Clarke and Costia’s fight if you could even call it that. Clarke was clearly holding back while Costia was giving her everything. She wished the girl had never challenged her, and she wished Clarke hadn’t accepted. Honestly, she wished more than anything none of this was happening, but it was.

The fight ended and quickly as it begun, and she wondered what Clarke said to the girl as she had her pinned. Costia looked upset and Clarke wasted no time grabbing the red head and leaving and Lexa was curious where they were hurrying off too. She figured Anya knew she would have to ask her.

As she made her way down to them Costia walked passed her not even giving her a glance and she felt bad even though she hadn’t done anything. She decided it was best just to give her, her space so she continued her path down to Anya and Raven.

“Heda.” Anya bowed,

“Do I have to do that too?” Raven asked genuinely curious,

“No, it’s not necessary Raven.” Lexa smiled,

“That was quite the fight huh?” Raven said to Lexa, she was curious what she thought of all this,

“That was barley a fight.” Anya said before noticing Lexa’s look, “But Costia fought well.”

“Yeah, totally.” Raven agreed, while Lexa just rolled her eyes,

“I was hoping we could have that talk.” Lexa said to Anya who nodded,

“Of course.” Anya looked to Raven apologetically; they sort of had plans for the night. “I’ll meet you back in our room?”

“Fine.” Raven sighed, “But you owe me babe.”

“I know just the thing to make it up to you baby.”

“Stop you know I love when you call me that.” Raven smirked and Anya was getting flustered while Lexa was watching the whole thing happen uncomfortably

“One hour.” Anya said,

“Take your time I have a few things I can do to kill time.” Raven smiled kissing the girl before leaving them.

“Anyways, how about a walk?” Anya suggested and Lexa nodded,

Lexa was trying to think of all the things she wanted to say and there was so much, but first an apology.

“You were right yesterday.” Lexa said breaking their silence, “I shouldn’t have forced Clarke to see me it was selfish and stupid, but I was desperate to see her and I let that cloud my judgment even if just for a minute. I’m sorry you have to deal with my stupidity.”

“I’ve been dealing with it for this long, I’m used to it.” She smiled, “But honestly Lexa why were you so desperate to talk to Clarke?”

The brunette sighed trying to sort her thoughts, but the answer was simple,

“Are you going to make me say it out loud?” Lexa murmured and Anya sighed, 

“Have you at least talked to Costia?”

“Kind of, she is hell bent on us working things out, but I don’t think we can.”

“You don’t think you can, or you don’t want to?”

“Both.”

“I’ll support you no matter what you do _strisis_ , but you know my stance on Costia.”

“I don’t know your stance on Clarke though.”

“Do you really want to?”

“I think I can come to that conclusion without you saying it.”

“Look I think Clarke is great, she crazy and funny and a pain in my ass but that doesn’t mean Costia isn’t great either. You loved her and she loved you but that doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to be with her because of all that’s happened. The only question that matters now is are you in love with Clarke?”

“I could be.” Lexa whispered thinking back to the lyrics of the song her and Clarke listened too, could wasn’t the best word but she wasn’t ready to say those words out loud. Not yet and not like this, and only to the person who those words belonged to.

* * *

Clarke and Davina arrived at the village where Weylin has been for the past few days. Village didn’t seem like the right word it was more of an abandoned campsite with tattered tents and dim fires spread out amongst the land.

“What is this place?” Clarke asked Davina,

“Nomads land.” She answered, “People who’ve left their clan or who are on the run usually pass through here.”

Clarke underestimated the amount of people that would be here, she was good but not that good, but it was fine she could adapt.

“Do you see him?” she asked,

“There.” She pointed to a drunken man who was laughing and joking with a few other guys.

“Ok, I need to get him away from his friends before I can do anything. Luckily, he’s a man and a creep so I can use that to my advantage.” Clarke took her jacket off leaving her cropped shirt and tight pants as well as her bag. She pushed up boobs up just a bit and took her ponytail out fluffing up her hair.

“Clarke he’s dangerous and- he could-.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” Clarke promised, “Go back to the horses and wait for me there I won’t be long I promise.”

Davina nodded wearily before doing what she was told, and Clarke took a deep breath before making her way over to the men.

It didn’t take long for them to notice the blonde walking over to them and she could see the hunger in their eyes as they racked over her body. _Disgusting._

“What do we have here?” A tall buff man said, he wasn’t bad looking but his lack of disposition when it came to catcalling was gross and the stench of alcohol made it worse.

“Hi boys.” Clarke smiled, “Got room for one more?”

“For you definitely.” Another one of them said smirking,

She eyed Weylin for a second before sitting in one of the empty chairs,

“What’s your name niron?” Weylin asks,

“Clarke.” She smiled, “But you might know me best as Wanheda.”

She watched as the recognition flashed on their faces before they laughed and took a drink,

“What is the great Wanheda, mountain slayer doing down here with us?”

“Looking for a good time and trust me I can command much more than death.” She smirked, she had to admit this was fun

“Well I’m sure we’d be happy to show you a good time.”

“However, would I choose?” Clarke pouted,

“We don’t mind sharing.” _Disgusting._

“Well in that case, how about you and I find somewhere quiet first.” Clarke stood up making her way over to Weylin who had a huge grin on his face,

“You sure you can handle it Wanheda?”

“Let’s find out.” She smirked grabbing his rough hand and leading him into the woods, it wasn’t long before he was roughly pushing her against a tree.

“I was in the mountain, so consider this my thank you for getting me out of that god forsaken place.” Weylin smiled attempting to push Clarke top down but she wasn’t having it,

“Can’t a girl at least get a little foreplay first?” Clarke smiled kneeing him right in the balls before punching him in the stomach, “You really know how to kill the vibe Weylin. Now when it comes to people like you, I usually inflict the most pain possible before turning you in but you’re big as hell and I don’t have time to waste.” She quickly tied the man’s hands and feet before reaching in her bag pulling out a reaper stick, she took from Arkadia months ago. She had a few and used them only when necessary.

“Wait.” Davina called running up to them stopping a few feet short of the man who struggling to get out of the ropes, “Do you remember me?”

The man ignored her completely,

“She asked you a question.” Clarke said pointing her sword at the man’s neck,

“Do you remember me?” Davina repeated and the man looked at her for a second and then smiled,

“You’re the reason I was taken by the mountain.” He spat, “I should’ve killed you along with your other family.”

Davina punched the man repeatedly until he was knocked out and her fist were bloody. She stood back staring at her bloody hand’s tears threatening to escape her eyes.

“I’m sorry.” She said quietly and Clarke wrapped her arms around her,

“Don’t be, he deserves more, and I promise he will pay for what he did to you and your family.” Clarke promised and the girl nodded,

By the time they made it back to Polis it was pitch black out and Clarke hoped Lexa was still awake. She made her way into the tower turning the man over to a guard requesting to see Lexa and to her surprise she was in her throne room.

The guard escorted her after confirming Lexa would see her and when she entered there she was sitting on her throne.

“Wanheda my guards have informed me you caught a wanted murder and turned him in, Is that true?”

“Yes.” Although he didn’t seem very wanted since no one was searching for him, but she kept that to herself, “A girl asked me help track him down and turn him into you.”

“Right, well we appreciate it. I can assure you he will be dealt with accordingly.”

“I’m sure she will love to hear that.” Clarke nodded before turning towards the door.

“Wait.” Lexa called, “There are some other things I would like to discuss with you.”

“Ok.”

“Your meeting with Echo is tomorrow, Anya tells me she informed you of the plan earlier.”

“She did.” Clarke nodded and she hated it, but it was all they had,

“Good so you know what you need to do.”

“Yep.” Clarke said, “Is that all?”

Lexa stared at her for a second before standing from her throne and walking down to where Clarke was standing.

“There is one more thing, about your fight with Costia.” Lexa said, “Why did you do it?”

“She asked me.” Clarke pointed out,

“But why did you say yes?”

“I accept most peoples request to spar.” She shrugged,

“That’s really it?” Lexa asked moving closer to the blonde who in turn took a step back, “There’s no other reason?’

“Why would there be?”

“You had to know it was unfair fight.”

“You act like I hurt her or something.” Clarke couldn’t help but roll her eyes,

“Maybe not physically.” Lexa said and Clarke looked at her,

“She asked me to fight Lexa not the other way around!”

“You could’ve declined.”

“You’re right but I didn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because maybe I wanted to have just a sliver of your attention!” Clarke yelled, “Maybe I wanted to be the one person you see or think of even just for a second because I won some stupid fight.” She whispered, and Lexa just stared.

“You’re all that I think of anyways, you don’t need to get my attention.” She whispered back and Clarke looked at her wildly,

“What?”

“Clarke-.”

“Sorry to interrupt Heda.” One of the guards said walking up to Lexa, “Costia is requesting to see you.”

Lexa could see the defeated look on Clarkes face at the guard’s words and it made her sick.

“Tell her I will see her when I’m done.” Lexa ordered,

“No, we’re done here so you can see her now.” Clarke said rushing out the room before Lexa could say another word.

She wanted to chase after the girl and deep down she knew she should’ve, but her feet wouldn’t move, and she couldn’t move, and all of this was wrong! Every last bit of it was wrong and she didn’t know how to fix it or if she could even fix it.

She needed to talk to Clarke, but she also needed to talk to Costia, and she needed to deal with Nia and Azgeda and make Skaikru a part of the coalition, but she was only one person and maybe this was all too much.

It _was_ all too much for one person, but she was heda and she didn’t have a choice the only way she did it before was with Titus’s teaching, but could she go back to that? Could she really go back to love is weakness?

No. 

_Not now,_

_Especially not now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song is by Selena if you are curious!


	15. Life is Better When You Drink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya! hope you enjoy in this chapter you get drunk Clarke and drown her emotions poor baby:(

Clarke wasn’t sure how many drinks she had at this point she just knew she had a lot and wanted more but someone wasn’t letting her have her fun.

“Really, Clarke?” Raven groaned taking another bottle from the girl, “Being babysitter was not in my plans tonight fyi.”

“Feel free to go, they all do eventually.” She said laying on the bed, she was so sure she was floating, “Or their ex’s come back from the dead and ruin your life and then after three months they tell you they can’t stop thinking about you!”

“God now I’m the one that needs a drink.” Raven took a huge drink from the bottle regretting it immediately.

“I shouldn’t have done it, I knew it, but you were all like tell her your feeling we could die tomorrow, and I was like yeah ok. Next thing I know I’m in a tent with the big bad commander having amazing sex.”

“WAIT WHAT?” Raven screamed loud enough for the whole building to hear, “You said all you did was kiss!”

“Yeah well it was humiliating enough I didn’t need to add losing my v-card to the mix.”

“Shit Clarke.” Raven said plopping down next to the girl on the bed,

“Yeah.” She replied taking the bottle and chugging a good amount, “Now here I am a fucking mercenary-

“Bounty hunter.” Raven corrected,

“Right, Bounty hunter hired to kidnap her girlfriend who’s acting like a total bitch to me, but I don’t blame her. I’m caught up in all this shit and it fucking sucks and now Lexa says that- why would she do that to me?”

“Who did what to you?” Anya asked entering the room, “I heard yelling.”

“That was me, sorry.” Raven said,

“Is she-.”

“Drunk as hell, yes indeed.”

“Really Clarke, getting drunk the day before you have to meet the spy. What happened?”

“She was talking to Lexa and she said, and I quote ‘You’re all that I think of anyways, you don’t need to get my attention’ end quote.” Raven said,

“Oh.” That was all Anya could say, she didn’t expect Lexa to express her feelings this soon.

“Yeah and apparently they had sex before the mountain.” Raven adds and Anya shrugs.

“I know.”

“She told you and not me?”

“No, no one told me but when they came out of the tent it was obvious.”

“Well Clarke had never had sex before that so now she’s given her v-card to someone who’s dead girlfriend wasn’t so dead and now everything is fucked!”

“Oh.” Anya repeated,

“Thanks for the recap Rae.” Clarke groaned, “Are you sure this isn’t a movie or at least a shitty low budget tv show?”

“No, if it were, I’d be the quirky best friend and that sounds awful.” Raven groaned taking another drink from the horrible alcohol,

“Ok, both of you are cut off.” Anya said taking the bottle from the girls, “What did you say back?”

“Nothing, a guard interrupted saying Costia wanted to see her and I’m glad he did. It reminded me where my place is in all of this.” Clarke sighed, “I feel like such a dumbass, I need to get the hell out of this place.”

“And you will when we deal with Nia and that starts tomorrow when you meet with Echo. Now stop drinking and go to sleep both of you!” Anya demanded,

“Geez mom.” Raven rolled her eyes, “Will you at least carry me back to the room?”

“Nope, you can stay here with your drinking buddy.” Anya tried not to smile at Raven face, but it was hard and she was so cute

“Babe!”

“Sleep now!”

“Fine.” Raven huffed pushing Clarke to one side of the bed, “Thanks for getting me in trouble blondie.”

“You’re the one that came to my room!” Clarke replied,

“Less talking more sleeping!”

Anya smiled hearing both girls groan before getting under the covers, she turned the light off and closed the door praying tomorrow wouldn’t be a total disaster.

* * *

“Where is she?” Lexa asked Anya for the fourth time in twenty minutes, Clarke was supposed to be meet them in the throne room an hour ago. It was almost sunset, and she hadn’t seen the girl all day not that she thought she would after last night, but she at least expected her to show up for this.

“On her way Lexa.” She hoped, the truth was Clarke had been a mess all day, but Raven said she would get her here and she knew Clarke wouldn’t abandon the mission mostly because her family’s life was at risk.

“You keep saying that, yet she hasn’t arrived.”

“I’ll just go and get her.” Anya sighed heading for the door just as someone was busting in,

“Party’s here.” Clarke smiled walking into the room, she was dressed in tight pants and a shirt that was basically a bra as it only covered her chest leaving her tight stomach in full view. Clearly, she had no trouble showing off her body, but no one was complaining.

“No.” Anya murmured to herself, there is no way she is drunk right now.

“Clarke of the sky people has honored us with her presence.” Lexa said clearly annoyed,

“Raven what the hell.” Anya whispered to the girl, “Is she drunk?”

“I can hear you.” Clarke said, “And no I’m not drunk.”

“She had one drink earlier, but I’ve been watching her like a fucking hawk ever since.” Raven added, “And next time you’re on babysitting duty.”

“We should get to it then.” Clarke said, it’s true she wasn’t drunk, tipsy maybe but nothing serious. She was still sober enough to do what needed to be done. “First let me start by saying this plan sucks and I say we come up with a better one.”

“You meet the spy in less than an hour there Is hardly time to come up with a new plan.” Lexa pointed out but Clarke just shrugged,

“Well I don’t think luring Echo into the tower and questioning her is going to do any good. Maybe I could seduce her into giving me information.” Clarke smirked, “Flirt with her a little form a bond then maybe she’ll help.”

Anya could practically see fume coming out of Lexa’s ears at Clarkes proposal to seduce anyone.

“I hardly think that would work.” Lexa said,

“I don’t know I’m pretty good at flirting.” Clarke shrugged,

“It’s true.” Raven smirked and Clarke winked,

“No one is seducing anyone; we have a plan and that’s what we’re going with.” Lexa said firmly,

“Pity, seducing is kind of my new jam.” Clarke sighed, “Well if this it I’m probably going to die attempting to kidnap a spy, but it was really nice knowing you guys.”

“No one is dying if you just stick to the plan.” Anya said,

“Fine then I better go.” Clarke got up from her seat,

“Anya and Raven, will you leave us please.” Lexa asked ignoring the stares from the two women, “Now.”

They got up hesitantly shooting looks at Clarke who was staring holes into the ground. She didn’t ask them to stay so they took that as a sign that It was ok to leave even though neither of them wanted to.

“Why are you drunk Clarke?” Lexa asked plainly,

“I’m not, I had one drink like Raven said.”

“Clearly that is not true.” Lexa examined the girls disheveled state, her hair was messy, and her clothes or lack thereof looked thrown on. In this state she wasn’t sure she could subdue a child let alone Echo. “This was reckless Clarke; people’s lives are at stake you need to take this seriously.”

“I am.”

“I can’t tell.”

“Well that’s your problem.”

“Are we really going to do this?” Lexa asked, “Going back and forth every time we talk?” Lexa knew they needed to talk especially about what she said last night, and she planned on talking to her but she hadn’t shown up until ten minutes ago and now they had no time.

“We don’t need to talk at all, listen you don’t need to worry about me, just focus on Costia since she’s the one who needs saved not me.” Clarke said causing Lexa to sigh,

“Clarke-.”

“I should go, the faster I get this done the faster I can leave Polis.” Clarke interrupted before heading to the door before Lexa could stop her.

Echo never told her which trading post to meet her at, so Clarke wondered aimlessly ultimately deciding she might as well look around.

Since she’s been in Polis, she hadn’t really done much exploring or shopping at the post so why not now since she was probably about to die might as well be with some new items.

Right away she noticed Polis’s posts were a thousand times better than the ones she’s been to in other villages. They had so many things like sunglasses which she got a cute black pair. She’s never had any before obviously living in space you don’t need them but with the hangover, she was sporting she needed something to protect her fragile eyes.

Just as she was looking through the clothes, she felt a presence behind her and then a voice.

“Wanheda.”

“You’re finally here.” Clarke said, holding up two shirts, “Which one do you like better?”

Echo stared at her completely confused at the whole situation before pointing to a black shirt.

“You’re right, you can never go wrong with black.” Clarke payed the woman who’s stand she was at before grabbing her shirt and walking to the next one. “No one told me they sold so much amazing stuff here.”

“Polis is the best for trading.” Echo replied trying to figure out what was going on with the girl, “You look terrible.”

“Thanks, I feel it too.” Clarke replied plainly looking through the jewelry, “So what are we meeting for I’ve never had a rendezvous with a spy before.”

“Any progress?” Echo asked,

“Well if you include mixed signals progress yes, I mean who tells someone they’re all they can think of when they have a girlfriend?” Clarke asked the girl, “I mean seriously.”

“Uhm….-.”

“And then that same girlfriend challenges me to a fight and it’s my fault?” Clarke exclaimed, “Do you drink?”

“Uh not really.”

“So, us going to get a drink is off the table?” Clarke asked and the woman didn’t know if she was dreaming or if this interaction was real,

“Yes.”

“Damn.” Clarke sighed,

“Listen Clarke I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I need an actual report not your relationship struggles with the commander.”

“Right.” It was at this moment that Clarke remembered she was supposed to be leading Echo to the tower but in all honesty she hated that plan, going rouge and winging it seemed better, “I’m getting closer to Lexa like suggested and I’ve had a few interactions with Costia, honestly at this point I’m ready to just let the queen kill me.”

“What? You can’t just give up!” Echo exclaimed catching Clarke off guard,

“Relax-.”

“No, I’m not going to relax you are not the only one with something to lose here.”

Interesting, Clarke thought.

“What do you have to lose?” Clarke asked seeing Echo tense up obviously regretting her words,

“Nothing I just mean Nia sent me so if you fail that mean I fail.”

For days since she met Echo, she’s felt like she had seen her somewhere before, but she didn’t know where. She knew it wasn’t at the feast and it’s possible it could’ve been in one of the villages she passes through all the time, but she wasn’t sure. Sure, she could ask but Echo could lie easily.

“Are you scared of Nia?”

“You’d be stupid not to be.” Echo said plainly, “Clarke I know you are probably thinking there is a way out of this but there isn’t. There are no loopholes or plan b’s you either bring Nia Costia or you and your family die.”

“She should’ve asked someone else.”

“You’re probably right but she didn’t she asked you.”

“Why did she ask me?” Clarke asked, “It can’t just be because I can get close to Lexa, from what I’ve seen it would be pretty simple to catch Costia when Lexa is in meetings or if the girl is wondering around alone.”

“Your point?”

“My point is you or any other spy could’ve captured her so why me?”

She could practically hear the gears turning in Echo’s head for what to say next. Obviously, she never thought the queen would just let her go after this, but she also never planned on going through with kidnapping Costia to find out. Now here she was partially drunk, slightly hungover talking to a spy in the middle of town as she shops for clothes with seemingly no way out of this. Everything was fucked.

“You really expect me to go against my queen and give you information?”

“If I fail you fail right?” Clarke said, “So here’s what’s going to happen.”

* * *

Clarke had been gone for almost an hour and hadn’t returned with the spy as they planned, and Lexa was worried. Worried the spy caught onto her and hurt her or worried Clarke went rouge which wouldn’t surprise her. Her recklessness was at an all-time high today and she hated it.

Unpredictability isn’t something she enjoys and this whole situation was just that, unpredictable. Nia had all the cards and she had nothing, sure she could attack Azgeda territory but from Clarkes information she knows Nia isn’t in Azgeda, she closer on trikru lands.

What angers her more is that Lexa had no clue, her biggest enemy was on her lands without her knowledge probably mocking her for it with her people. Laughing about how she is right under the commander’s nose and she didn’t even know it. Nia was cynical in that way.

She wanted her dead and the feeling was mutual for Lexa, she despised Nia and wanted nothing more than to burn Azgeda to the ground and run her sword through the woman’s cold heart and in the beginning of her reign as commander she could’ve. This could’ve all been prevented if she had killed Nia when she had the chance, but she tried to see the bigger picture. She tried to put her personal feelings aside so all the clans can thrive and grow in her coalition but that’s not how things worked out in battle.

The last war with all the clans was the worst many people died in that fight and unbeknownst to Lexa at the time it was very personal for Nia and it started a rivalry that has yet to end. It was petty and drawn out, but Lexa hoped with the death of Nia her plan for peace could finally come to fruition and right now that was depending on Clarke.

She trusted Clarke and knew she could make tough choices, but anyone could see how personal this was for both of them. They were both trying to sort out their feelings, but it was all becoming a mess that neither of them knew how to deal with. The only thing that was clear was they both wanted to be together but there were obstacles they needed to face before that including telling each other they want to be together. But none of that could happen until they deal with Nia.

An hour in and Lexa was ready to go down to the trading post herself just to see what was going on, but she knew that wouldn’t be wise. She sent one of her guards for Raven, she needed to know what was happening and Anya was out on watch.

“You summoned me?” Raven said,

“Where is she?” Lexa asked, “It’s taking too long.”

“I don’t know I went back to my room I thought Anya was supposed to watch.”

“She is but I thought you would be with her.” Lexa groaned annoyed by the whole thing, “I shouldn’t have let her go, she was clearly drunk probably because of me and now she could be hurt or.” Lexa stopped as her mind ran with the possibilities the worst being Echo took her back to Nia.

“Lexa, relax.” She put her hand on the girl’s shoulder, Lexa was breathing hard and clearly panicking like she’s never seen. “Clarke can take care of herself, she’s fine.”

“What if she isn’t?” she asked worriedly,

“If there’s anything I know about Clarke is she’s adaptable, she can flip any situation and come out on top.” Raven smiled, “My best friend is kind of a badass.”

“Damn straight.” Clarke smirked walking into the room, “Talking me up Rae?”

“Always.” She smiled,

“What the hell Clarke?” Anya said stalking into the room after the blonde, “What’s so hard about the words ‘stick to the plan’.”

“I have a new plan.” Clarke said, “And it’s better than kidnapping Echo and hoping she’ll give us information, she did that anyways even though it was unintentional.”

“New plan? What are you talking about?” Lexa asked the blonde who was now in a different shirt and for some reason sunglasses?

“Yes so, I was shopping at the post when Echo arrived, she even helped me pick this shirt cute right?” Clarke asked automatically getting a nod from Raven and plain looks from the other two, “Anyways she asked me how it was going I told her I was ready to just let the queen kill me at this poin-.”

“What? Why would you ever say that?” Lexa said interrupting,

“Spur of the moment the point is her reaction prompted me to think she has something big to lose if I don’t succeed and I was right.” Clarke smiled,

“So then what is this new plan Clarke?” Anya asked very annoyed with the blonde.

“It’s simple really.” Clarke sighed, “We have to give Nia Costia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry you won't have to wait too long new chapter soon;)
> 
> thanks as always for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	16. We Could Die Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has her breaking point but so does Lexa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful people i didn't have time to proof read bc i really want to post it for you but here it is. Enjoyyyy

“What the hell are you talking about?” Lexa yelled and Clarke had to admit it was kind of funny hearing the woman cuss, “You really expect me to be ok with that? Absolutely not.”

“Are you done?” Clarke asked, “Obviously we’re not actually giving her Costia, but she doesn’t know that.” Clarke explained the plan her and Echo concocted hoping Lexa would hear her out, it wasn’t perfect and so many things could go wrong but they had nothing else and the deadline was in two days.

“And you’re sure we can trust Echo?” Anya asked,

“I’m not sure of any of this but I don’t think Echo will throw us under the bus, she’s scared of Nia and what she could lose if this doesn’t go to plan. She knows I don’t plan on delivering Costia and if I don’t do that something, I’m pretty sure Nia’s going to kill her, so she really has no other choice than to help.”

“She could go to Nia right now and tell them exactly what you planned.” Lexa said,

“That’s the thing, Echo doesn’t know where the camp is either.” Clarke said, “Apparently she was hooded just like me, another Azgeda spy transported us here and he’s Echo’s direct link to Nia.”

“So, she isn’t as trusted as we thought.”

“She was very stingy on the details, but I have a gut feeling and I know she’ll keep her word.” Clarke replied hoping no praying she was right about this.

“I hope you’re right about this Clarke.”

“Me too, we have two days to iron of the details. That’s when they will come for me, Echo and Costia.”

“Who will go in Costia’s place?” Lexa asked and Clarke rubbed her neck awkwardly

“That’s the other thing, it really has to be Costia that we take.” Clarke said,

“No, out of the question.” Lexa replied dismissively

“Echo says they know what she looks like if they see it’s not her, they’ll give us on the spot.”

“She could get hurt Clarke; I know you may not care but I do. I’m not letting her anywhere near this.” 

“Fine, then I’m done.” Clarke said, “I’m done being here when I don’t want to be, and I’m done sitting here having to protect **your** girlfriend I mean do you even know how that makes me feel? Do you really think I wanted any of this? I didn’t even want to come here in the first place and fuck I wish I hadn’t! I mean look where it got me.” She said laughing sadly, “You can do whatever you want, there are people that I need protect too and I have to go figure out how to do that without ruining your precious fairytale.” With that Clarke walked straight out of the throne room and upstairs to the room she was given.

She knew maybe she was being a bit dramatic, but she also didn’t care this whole thing was driving her crazy. All the shit she had to worry about was driving her crazy, she’s not a leader but somehow the responsibly of protecting people still landed on her shoulders all because she chose to care about someone. Someone who she couldn’t even have in the end.

As she packed up her stuff, she felt hot tears running down her face that she instantly wiped away. For three months she refused to cry and that wouldn’t stop now, she rarely ever cried but lately it’s all she wants to do.

She never had any expectations for what life on the ground would be, but never did she imagine it would be like this. Waking every day with a broken heart that only broke more when she was forced to see the girl she can’t have. Maybe this is what she deserves for thinking there would be no consequences for killing. This was her consequence, her punishment. After years of declining dates and advances then finally finding the one person who made her feel something only to lose them then be forced to protect the girl they love. _Fitting._

“Where are you going?” Raven asked watching as Clarke quickly packed up her things.

“To stay with O until I figure out what to do.” Clarke was glad she had someone close to escape to, Lincoln lived here, and Octavia moved to be with him and continue her training.

“Clarke slow down.”

“No Raven I really can’t do this anymore.” She quickly moved to wipe her tears, “I can’t this is- I mean fuck. Seeing her face everyday and seeing Costia I can’t do it.”

“I know Clarke, I know it’s hard and I’m sorry you have to do this but it’s almost over.”

“How?” she yelled, “If she won’t let Costia go there is no plan.”

“Just give her time, there is still two days. Lexa will do what’s right and we can leave and be happy.”

“I don’t think I can be happy, not here probably not anywhere.”

“I know the situation is beyond complicated but it’s clear Lexa has feelings for you.”

“Even if she does it doesn’t matter, she’s with Costia she chose her not that I expected different but that’s what happened. Right now, I just need space, so I’ll be at O’s.”

“Fine just let me grab my stuff.”

“No Raven.” She sighed, “Listen I appreciate you and Anya without you guys I don’t even think I would’ve left my room in Arkadia, but I’ve depended on both of you for too long and I’m sorry for that. From now on I want you to focus on you and Anya, enjoy your relationship and be happy.”

“Clarke we’re family where you go, I go.”

“Not this time, you need to stay here with Anya the girl you love, and I’ll be at O’s clearing my head.”

“I want to come.”

“I don’t want you to come Raven!” she hated the look on the girls face but this is what she needed, “I love you so much but I just, I need to go I want you to stay.” She wrapped her arms around the brunette, “I love you baby bird.” She kissed the girl’s cheek before exiting the room leaving Raven.

Raven sighed sitting on the bed looking over to the empty bottles that were filled with alcohol the night before. Her best friend was hurting, and she had no clue how to fix it or make it better. She couldn’t blame Lexa, Costia being alive threw everyone for a loop but its broke Clarke and Raven was starting to think she’d never be able to recover from this kind of heart break.

* * *

Meanwhile in the throne room

“I know it’s not ideal, but Clarke is right Lexa, if they know what Costia looks like using someone else won’t work.”

It had been ten minutes since Clarke stormed off and as bad as Anya wanted to check on her, she also knew she needed to be here for Lexa who hadn’t said a word since Clarke’s little speech.

Lexa honestly didn’t know what to say, she wanted to keep Costia out of this, but she was the center of it, and she didn’t want to hurt Clarke, but it was too late for that. Nothing she was doing was right.

“No matter Clarke’s feelings she won’t let any harm come to Costia, even if she doesn’t care about her, she cares about you, so she’ll protect her.”

Lexa knew she was right, but she still didn’t like it.

“Look Lexa Costia’s life isn’t the only one’s at stake, Abby and Jakes are too and anyone else Clarke cares for. We have to do this.”

“I need to talk to Costia.” Lexa said finally,

“About the plan or about your relationship?”

“Both.” She sighed, there was no more avoiding this it had to be done and there was no time like the present.

* * *

After talking to Lexa Anya decided to go up and check on Clarke, she knew Raven went but she wanted to see if she was ok. She cares about Clarke, from the first moment she saw the blonde she was intrigued, and they became fast friends and now she’s like family. To her Clarke and Raven were like a package deal and she didn’t mind that, she loved Raven and her family welcomed her with open arms, so she did the same.

When she entered the blonde’s room there was no sign of her at all just a crying Raven sitting on the bed.

“What happened?” Any said rushing to the girl’s side, “Raven what’s wrong?”

“She pushed me away, she fucking benched me!” she cried, “We don’t bench each other ever! And then she called me baby bird! She hasn’t called me that since we were kids.”’

“What, where did she go?”

“To fucking Octavia’s and she didn’t want me to come can you believe that?”

“She has a lot going on Rae maybe she just needs some space.”

“This is so fucked Anya.” Raven sighed, “I mean she was crying and in the past three months she hasn’t cried once, I hate seeing how broken she is about this and I can’t do anything to help her.”

“You have been helping her Raven, she wouldn’t even leave her room until you showed up. Being here is helping but you can’t mend someone else’s broken heart that’s not how it works.”

“Why not?” she groaned,

“It’s just not possible baby.” She smiled wiping the girl’s tears,

“I know this is horrible of me to say but apart of me wishes Costia did die.”

“A small part of me does too.” Anya admitted, it was a terrible thought, but its reality things would be so much simpler if she was but she’s not. She’s here and a huge part of her is glad because she knows how broken Lexa was when she did think she was dead and even if her feelings were no longer romantic, she knew Lexa was glad she was here.

“What do we do know?” Raven asked sinking into the girl’s arms,

“There’s nothing we can do; they need to work this out on their own.”

“But they’re both being idiots!” Raven said, “That could take forever.”

“That’s true.” Anya agreed, “But it’s out of our hands, let’s just wish for the best.”

* * *

The next day Lexa woke up early, early enough so Costia wouldn’t wake, she needed time to herself mostly to think and sort out all the things she needed to say to her. It was clear they couldn’t go on like this well Lexa couldn’t, it was driving her insane and seeing Clarke breakdown in front of her last night was a wake-up call.

At the beginning and end of everyday she is Heda first and her priority was taking out Nia, but she could only do that with a clear mind. There has been too much smoke around this whether it’s her feelings or Clarke or even Costia’s. Everything was so messy making it impossible to focus on the threat a head but that ends today.

Today she was laying everything on the table including her feelings for Clarke and informing Costia of the Queens threat. They all needed to be on the same page for what’s to come. But in order to have those talk Lexa needed a clear mind so she did what relaxes her most at times like this. She went for a ride.

Ever since she was a child riding her horse always gave her a sense of peace and helped her think. In general, she loved most animals and even had a few as pets growing up, but horses were her favorite. They were amazing creatures and being on top of one going full speed through the woods was liberating. Sometimes she even swore she could feel her problems being carried away by the winds.

After changing into her riding clothes, she made her way to the stables to get her horse Frankie.

“It’s been a while.” Lexa smiled petting the horse’s nose, she hadn’t seen him in a few weeks which made her feel bad. Usually she would ride once a week and when everything was handled, she could get back to that.

After putting the saddle on she led the horse out of the stalls and in front of the tower.

“Heda.” Gustus bowed,

“Gustus, I didn’t know you were back.” Lexa smiled, Gustus was one of her most trusted guards but recently he had been in TonDC over seeing the repairs and helping Elena with the citizens.

“Your nomon was practically begging me to leave.” He smiled, “She says hello by the way, still waiting for your return.”

“I’m sure I’ll visit soon.”

“Going for a ride?”

“Yes, I’ll be at my spot I’m not to be disturb unless it is extremely important.”

“Of course, heda.”

Lexa mounted Frankie pulling the reigns tight before guiding him onto the path she always takes. Since she became Commander at seventeen Lexa found different ways to help her escape. There was training, reading but her favorite was riding, and she always went to the same spot.

It wasn’t a secret spot many people also enjoyed it but if it was early enough like today Lexa could enjoy it alone.

As soon as she smelled the salt, she couldn’t help but smile, it wasn’t until her first trip to Polis at fourteen that she had ever seen the beach, but once she did it was love at first sight.

The water was always a perfect temperature and the sand always felt amazing under her feet, but it was also one of those things she liked enjoying alone. Sitting and listening to the waves and the birds chirping it was freeing, and that’s what she needed right now.

The past three months have been what she can only describe as a mess, between Costia and Clarke she had so much to sort out and finally she had. It was always clear but admitting to herself was hard and now she had to admit it to others. The thing she’s wanted or thought she wanted wasn’t it at all. In her heart she always knew but now it’s real now she **has** to say it out loud because after tomorrow everything changes.

Queen Nia will be defeated _hopefully_ and Lexa’s full vision for peace will be attainable in less than a years’ time if she plays her cards right. She wanted Skaikru in her coalition and Azgeda once a new leader is chosen. Traditionally it would be Nia’s son Roan, but he was banished from his clan years ago and no one has seen him since, he could very well be dead. But that was a problem for another day right now she needed to sort out her relationship woes and first on her list was Costia. The thing she’s been dreading the most, but she can’t run from this anymore she had to face it.

So, after a couple hours on the beach she made her way back to the tower, apart of her wished the ride was longer because she had gotten there entirely too quick. She put Frankie back in his stall and went up to her room to change, Costia wasn’t there surprisingly usually she would still be sleep at this time. Quickly she washed up and put on her clothes and braided her hair.

Her guards informed her that Costia was in the study, so she headed straight there. This was it; this is the moment everything changes, and her life will never be the same because of it but in saying that it could be better. Her future after this could be amazing if she was lucky enough to still have a chance with the person she wants. She prayed she did.

She was surprised to learn Costia was in the study since in the five years she had the girl here with her she never spent any time there but lately she also hasn’t really payed much attention to where the girl went.

When she got to the room there was no guard patrolling which was strange since she always had them placed all over the tower but opening the doors, she now understood why there wasn’t.

The guard who she recognized as someone who’s been there for years was standing in between none other than Costia’s legs and she sat on the table attacking his lips.

Lexa wasn’t even sure how long she was standing there before she cleared her throat getting both of their attention. Both were equally as horrified and she was sure the guard would pee himself at any moment, Costia on the other hand couldn’t even look her in the eye.

“Heda i-.”

“Leave us.” Lexa told the man not taking her eyes off the girl, the man sprinted out of the study obviously fearing his life leaving both girls in a thick uncomfortable silence.

Lexa didn’t know what to say or even how she felt because in all honesty she felt nothing. There was no anger or hurt or tears threatening her eyes there was nothing.

“Lexa i- I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. Lately you’ve barley even looked at me let alone touched me and I just felt so neglected and he was here and I’m sorry.” She was crying hysterically at this point and Lexa almost felt bad because she was valid in feeling that way. Lexa did barley show her any affection and if she could she avoided all conversation with her completely all because of her own guilt. The guilt she felt because every moment she was with Costia she wanted to be with Clarke and instead of doing the right thing she dragged this relationship on hoping one day she would wake up and it work again. Now here she was, catching her lover with someone else and the only thing she felt was relief.

“He has worked here for years have you- been with him before?” Lexa asked,

“Absolutely not Lexa I swear.”

Lexa nodded moving to sit at one of the chairs motioning for Costia to do the same.

“There are some things we need to discuss mainly and obviously us but first I need to tell you something.” Lexa said, “The day after the feast Clarke came to me with some very disturbing information. As you may know she is a bounty hunter of sorts and she was hired to kidnap you.”

“Me?” Costia asked surprised, “What? Why, for who?”

“Queen Nia, she is trying to get to me and by doing that she wanted to take someone from me who I care about.”

“Then she should’ve taken Clarke.” She scoffed, “I mean seriously Lexa you just saw me kissing someone and you don’t even care!”

“So, you did this to get a reaction from me?”

“No! Of course, not but I at least expected you to care whether that was by yelling at me or crying or anything! It’s like I’m a stranger to you and trust me I feel like it! I went through a year of torture just to be recused and subjected to more, I come back, and the love of my life is in love with someone else and that fucking hurts me Lexa! I know it doesn’t hurt you-.”

“It does hurt me!” Lexa yelled interrupting, “For three months I’ve been trying Costia I really have and I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’ve made you feel this way and I’m sorry for pushing you away I’m sorry for it all but I can’t keep living like this.”

“What are saying you saying? You don’t want me anymore?”

“I’m saying I can’t be with you anymore.” Seeing the hurt on the other girl’s face reminded her why she avoided this for so long, she had already hurt her enough and now she was hurting her more.

“You’re leaving me, someone you’ve known for half of your life, someone who knows every part of you good and bad for someone you met three months ago?”

“I’m ending things because it’s the right thing to do for both of us.”

“How is this the right thing for me?” Costia asks wiping her tears,

“Because you deserve to be with someone who will make you happy and make smile instead of constantly making you sad.”

“That used to be you.”

“I’m sorry that it’s not anymore.” Lexa sighed, “I love you Costia, I always will you’re apart me and that will never change. Meeting you is one of my best memories and I’ll always have that with me.”

“If you love me then why are you doing this.”

“Because no matter how much I love you, I’m not in love with you.”

“Then be honest, do you have feelings for Clarke?” she asked hesitantly,

“I do.” She nodded, and Costia sighed “but she is not the only reason I am doing this.”

“But she is one.”

“Yes.” Lexa said honestly, she’s the biggest reason. The blonde won’t get out of her head and she can’t keep breaking her own heart anymore.

“Then she must be happy Nia wanted me captured.”

“No, she’s tried to do everything she could to save you.”

“Don’t pretend that’s for my benefit.” She sighed,

“Maybe not but I’m not letting anything happen to you ever no matter what Nia wants.”

“So then what is the plan, I go on the run?”

“No, we have a plan to take down Nia we just need your help.”

* * *

Clarke had woken up very earlier mostly due to the fact of she couldn’t fucking sleep but also because her mind wouldn’t shut off long enough for her to even close her eyes. Her and Octavia stayed up for a little while talking and it helped, it helped talking to someone who wasn’t around her every second like Raven and Anya. She loved both of them to death and she knew she could count on them, but it was refreshing knowing she could count on other people too.

Octavia was practically her little sister and they would be there for each other always, but the girl also had her own life and Clarke wanted her to live it because for the first time she could. It made her happy seeing her new life and how much she’s changed, a part of her wondered if she would ever get that.

Would she ever be happy with a partner, living in the same home with a set lifestyle? Her mind was telling her no, she didn’t deserve any of that and maybe that was true. At this point she wasn’t even sure she’s live past the week so thinking about her future happiness or lack there of seemed pointless.

“Clarke!”

Clarke looked up seeing Davina in front of her, she was sitting at the training grounds watching and completely zoned out not even noticing the girl approaching.

“Davina! How are you?” she smiled standing to hug the girl, they hadn’t talked since they caught Weylin, but Clarke hoped they would see each other again soon.

“I’m good, I actually was hoping to see you. I know I can never repay you for what you’ve done for me, but I made you this.” She reached into her bag pulling out a dark navy leather jacket with tassels decorating the shoulder lining. Clarke was in love, “I know it isn’t much-.”

“Isn’t much?” Clarke gasped grabbing the jacket admiring the beauty, “Until this very moment I would’ve have sworn love at first sight was bullshit but no, I feel it right now!”

“You really like it?” The girl asked shyly,

“I fucking love it.” She smiled hugging the girl, “Thank you this must’ve took forever to make.”

“Only a day, dying the leather was difficult but I think I finally found a good method.”

“A day? That’s crazy, is that your job here a seamstress?”

“I wish, I mostly help my Aunt at her post. She sells food.”

“Do you like that?”

“I hate it actually, but she took me in, and I want to help.”

“Davina this jacket is incredible, you could do really well selling and trading your own designs.”

“I wish I could.” She smiled sadly, “Right now I have to help my Aunt but hopefully in the future.”

“Then maybe I could pay you to make some clothes for me, as a side job.” Clarke suggested,

“You would do that?”

“You’re talented and you’ve seen my style I trust you.” She shrugged,

“Wow, well what would you like?”

Clarke sat with the girl for an hour discussing clothes and the trading post, it was a nice distraction but as we know those never last too long.

“Clarke.”

Her eyes closed at the sound of the voice, why right now? She thought.

“If you are not busy right now, I would like to talk to you.” Lexa said, looking at the red head beside her. It was the same one from the other day, were they friends? Or more?

“We can talk later.” Davina smiled standing up,

“We’ll meet before I leave Polis.” Clarke suggested and the girl nodded before walking away,

“You are leaving?” Lexa asked,

“When all this is over yes, there is nothing for me in Polis.” She replied trying to avoid the gaze of those beautiful green eyes,

“What if I said there was?” Lexa murmured and Clarke sighed,

“You can’t keep saying things like that to me Lexa.”

“I know and- I know there is a lot going on, but will you sit down and talk with me when this is all over? Before you leave.”

“As much as I want that I can’t, you’re in a relationship so it wouldn’t matter.”

“What if I said I wasn’t.” Lexa asked,

“Wasn’t what?”

“In a relationship.”

“What?” Clarke asked wide eyed and confused, there was no way Lexa broke up with Costia. There was no way that happened, this had to be a dream. Or her lack of sleep was allowing her mind to drum up illusions and hallucinations because this was not real. “You- you’re not- but-.”

“I want to talk about this, I want to tell you so many things and I will I promise but all that matters right now is me and Costia aren’t together and she agreed to go with you when you return to Nia.”

“She did?” Clarke didn’t know what was more shocking or if all of this was just one big complete mind fuck,

“Yes.” Lexa nodded, “I’m gathering everyone in the throne room right now so we can go over the plan and make sure everything is perfect for tomorrow.”

“ok.” Is pretty much all Clarke could think to say, what the hell was happening.

She walked in silence beside Lexa would sneak glances at her and Clarke didn’t know how to feel about any of this. Was it really true, did Lexa break up with Costia and if she did was it for her. Did Clarke cause a relationship to end, did Lexa feel that strongly for her to end her years long relationship? There were so many questions, but they would have to take the back burner.

When she entered the room her eyes immediately went to Costia, she could tell the girl had been crying which made her feel shitty. No matter how bitchy she was the last thing she wanted was to hurt the girl and she tried not too but in a situation like this it was inevitable that someone would end up suffering Clarke just thought it would be her. But she shook those thoughts away moving her thoughts to Raven who was sitting by Anya’s side. They hadn’t talked since last night and even though Clarke didn’t regret her actions, she knew it hurt her best friend and that wasn’t ok.

“Am I kicked out the trio?” Clarke asked the girl who just shrugged,

“It’s pending.” She said flatly, Anya rolling her eyes. “You benched me it’s only fair I return the favor right.”

Clarke sighed squeezing into the spot in between both girls,

“I didn’t bench you Rae I just needed space to think, but I am sorry to both of you.” She said grabbing both Raven and Anya’s hand, “For the last three months I’ve been in the middle of your relationship and I’m sorry for that. I love you guys for taking care of me and always making sure I’m ok but now I need you guys to focus on you. Enjoy your relationship without me and be happy.”

“What makes you think we’re not already happy?” Anya asked,

“I know you guys are, but I also have been too dependent on both of you.”

“Clarke, we love you, you’re my family and I have never once felt like you were too involved in our relationship nor have you ruined anything. If you need us, we’ll be there no questions asked and it’s never a bother but I understand sometimes you need space and I’ll respect that I just want you to know you can count on me.”

“I know that, does this mean I’m apart of the threesome again?” She smiled,

“Of course.”

“Well I have some conditions for my return.” Clarke smirked turning to Anya, “You have to say you love me.”

“What?”

“You know you do so just say it.”

“Come on babe.” Raven smirked looking at how annoyed her girlfriend was, it was fun to torture her sometimes. “It just three words.”

“Three words.” Clarke smiled, “Say it, we could die tomorrow let me die knowing you love me even though I’m a pain in your ass.”

“That is very true, you are a pain.” Anya agreed,

“But?” Clarke said smiling,

“But I do love you.” Anya said begrudgingly and Clarke cheered,

“This might be the best day of my life.” Clarke yelled getting Costia and Lexa’s attention who were sitting a few feet away. It didn’t cross her mind that it might seem like it was the best day of her life because of their breakup.

“Ok can we talk about why we’re actually here.” Anya said trying to get the attention off of her and Lexa agreed.

“I thought we should catch Costia up on the plan.” Lexa said and Clarke could feel Costia’s eyes on her, this was going to be awkward.

“As far as the plan goes me and Echo will take Costia, I’ll knock her out with one of the reaper sticks and you all know what happens from there.” Clarke says,

“Shouldn’t I know what the plan?” Costia asks the plan her voice thick with annoyance,

“No.” Clarke said plainly, it wasn’t her way of being petty, but they were on a need to know basis with this plan and she simply didn’t need to know. “All you need to do is stay quiet act scared and adapt. If for some reason something goes, I’ll get you out of there.”

“And I’m supposed to trust you?” Costia scoffed, “You’re a mercenary for crying out loud.”

“Bounty hunter.” Clarke, Raven and Anya said in unison,

“And it really doesn’t matter if you trust me or not, there is more at risk here than just you.” Clarke could tell the girl was not happy with her responses, but she wasn’t here to please her, so it didn’t matter. “Everyone who needs to know the plan knows, tomorrow I meet with Echo in the morning to discuss final details then at sunset the guard from Azgeda will arrive we need to be ready.”

“We will be.” Lexa nodded,

“Good, now I need to talk to you about the radios.” Clarke turned to Raven, “I need something discreet maybe even something like a wire can you do that?”

“Easily but not here, they have no tech and the only place that does is probably Arkadia.”

“I’m way ahead of you.” Clarke smiled, “A specially delivery should be here for you very soon.”

“Oh, I like the sound of that.” She smirked,

The group continued talking and Clarke listen to Raven discuss how the radios would work and the whole time all she could focus on was the eyes she could feel searing into her skin. Thirty minutes in and Costia was staring into her as if her eyes were beams of fire. Saying the girl hated her seemed like an understatement at this point and honestly, she didn’t care but the starring was too much so finally she suggested her, and Raven go somewhere else and talk.

Once they were at a safe distance Raven finally started spewing off the questions she’s been holding in for the past hour.

“Why the hell was that so awkward? Did it look like Costia had been crying to you, surly she didn’t breakdown because Lexa told her about Nia. If looks could kill I think you’d be dead, I mean did you see the look she was giving you what the hell is going on?!”

“They broke up.” Clarke said abruptly cutting off the girls’ questions,

“WHAT?” Raven yelled, “Really?”

“Really.” Clarke nodded,

“That’s amazing!” she cheered, and Clarke laughed,

“Not for Costia.”

“Yeah sucks for her but she’ll get over it!!!”

“Rae that’s mean.” She laughed,

“Don’t act like you care, so are you and Lexa together?”

“No! She literally just ended her relationship, and we haven’t even had a chance to really talk about it yet.”

“But if she wanted to be with you, you would totally do it, right?”

Clarke wanted to say yes but was it even a good Idea to jump into a relationship with Lexa after everything? Even if their feelings match, they still had so much to figure out and Clarke was more than willing too. For months she wished for even the slightest hint that Lexa felt anything for her and now she knew for certain the brunette did and she actually felt happy. There was no doubt in her mind she wanted to be with Lexa and when the time was right, they would talk about it.

“If she wanted to be with me I would do it in a heartbeat.” Clarke answered, “Only after we’ve discussed everything though and take care of Nia.”

“Speaking of are you sure bringing Costia is the best plan?”

“It’s the only plan and it’ll be fine.” She said, “Hopefully.”

They walking out of the tower and into the busy commotion that is Polis, everyone was also in a rush here it seemed, it reminded Clarke of big cities like in the movies.

“So, what is this surprise of mine?” Raven asked and right on cue Clarke saw Octavia nodding for them to follow her,

“You’ll see come on.” Clarke smiled walking towards the direction Octavia was walking. She missed being around all her friends at once, for the most part they all live in different places. Finn and Bellamy still stay in Arkadia and Wells and Murphy both met two girls they seem to be in love with, so they were off somewhere in the woods. Raven lived in TonDC with Anya, Octavia in Polis and for the most part Clarke was a drifter. She hated staying in Arkadia and only ever went to visit her parents or for movie nights, as for where she lived in depended on her job, sometimes she would stay in TonDC others with Luna in her village. There was no one place she felt like she belonged in but maybe that would change soon.

When they got to Lincolns home Clarke opened the door with a smile waiting for her friend to walk through first.

“AH!” Finn yelled jumping out to scare the girl, Raven instantly punching him in the face, “Ugh.”

“Oh my god, Finn you idiot.” Raven yelled reaching for the boy who was now cradling a bloody nose. “You know I don’t like that shit!”

“And I’ll never do it again.” He scoffed,

“Don’t worry Finn I’m sure that punch will have fixed that beak you got there.” Murphy quipped and Finn just ignored him going to get a bandage for his nose.

“Glad you came.” Clarke smiled hugging the boy, “Now that you’re all in love now I never see you.”

“Emori keeps me quite busy.” He winked,

“What did you do summon the whole Avengers squad?” Raven asked looking around, not only was Finn and Murphy there but so was Bellamy, Wells and even Monty who was there at Clarkes request she needed all the brains she could get.

“What can I say, we have some amazing friends who come as soon as I call.” She smiled; it was true the minute Clarke needed them they came she got very lucky in the friend department.

After talking with Wells and Murphy for a bit she made her way over to Bellamy who had been looking miserable since the moment she saw him.

“Sad boy isn’t really a good look for you.” She smiled joining the boy on the couch, “What’s wrong Bell.”

“It’s nothing.” He shrugged,

“He’s heartbroken.” Octavia said as she was walking by,

“Thanks O.” he said rolling him eyes, “I’m not heart broken by the way just confused.”

“What happened? I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”

“I’m not.” He sighed, “Do you remember while I was in the mountain I told you I met a grounder who was helping me free everyone in the cages?” he asked and she nodded for him to continue, “Well after the battle we talked some more and I actually thought we- well it doesn’t matter what I thought because when I seen her today she completely ignored me.”

Clarke did vaguely remember seeing Bellamy that night with a girl but honestly her mind was mostly focused on the fact that the woman she liked just had a reunion with her dead girlfriend and her life sucked.

“Well what did you say to her? Maybe she didn’t hear.”

“She heard me Clarke I think everyone in the damn village heard me and Echo isn’t exactly a common name, so she knew I was talking to her.”

“No fucking way” Clarke yelled causing the boy to freeze up, she knew it! She knew somehow, she had seen Echo before and now she knew when. The night at the mountain after Lexa attempted to talk to her before being interrupted by Anya Clarke made her way back outside. She had no real destination in mind, but she needed to get away from the situation completely, so she walked and walked, and, on that walk, she passed Bellamy who was talking to a woman. It made her happy seeing her friend actually enjoying a conversation with a woman but after the mountain he never mentioned her, and Clarke forgot about the whole thing. Truthfully, she wanted to forget that whole night all together and for awhile she could until she came here, and it all started unraveling.

“Clarke? Do you know her or something?” Bellamy asks bringing the blonde from her thoughts.

“You could say that.” Everything really was fucked.

* * *

“Not that everything has been entirely blissful and serenity around here, but something is different.” Anya said to Lexa, after Clarke and Raven left Costia excused herself leaving the two girls to talk. “Did something happen?”

“I ended things with Costia.” She said plainly ignoring Anya’s shocked gaze,

“Oh.”

“Are you really that surprised?” Lexa asks, it wasn’t as if she hadn’t expressed her lack of interest in continuing her relationship with Costia.

“Honestly, I am.” She nodded, “I know you told me how you felt but it still surprises me that you ended things. I was sure you would try and force yourself to enjoy that relationship again.”

“I tried that for three months, it was never going to work.”

“So then what changed?”

“Seeing Clarke.” She said trying to force her smile away, but it was useless, “I want to put it into words how I feel but I want to do that with Clarke. What I can say is after trying so hard not to think about her and failing seeing her again made me realize I don’t have to do that anymore. That I haven’t been happy in over a year and even with Costia’s return I still was unhappy but Clarke, I don’t know what it is about Clarke that makes me feel like I could be so happy as long as she’s by my side. And I can’t have her by my side unless I chose so I did now I just have to hope she’ll choose me too.”

“She will.” Anya smiled, finally she thought. “You haven’t talked to her?”

“We are going to talk once all of this is over.”

“Probably a good idea, and Lexa I’m really happy for both of you.”

Lexa smiled to herself thinking of what’s to come, she had no clue what tomorrow would bring she just hoped that whatever came after that the blonde would choose to be by her side.

* * *

It was passed sunset when Clarke finally made it back to her room, she decided she would stay in the tower mostly because Octavia had a full house. Talking to Bellamy was a complete mind fuck and she had no clue what to even say to the boy. She figured the truth would probably be best so she told him everything since he would be there helping tomorrow anyways. To say he was surprised is an understatement, obviously he didn’t know she was a spy, but Clarke felt like there was more to Echo than the obvious. Sure, she was working for Nia, but it was evident that she didn’t have a choice and maybe when this is over, she’ll get to choose a better path.

Clarke quickly got undressed putting her shorts on and leaving her black cropped shirt she was already wearing. She knew people always looked at her like she was absolutely out of her mind by the clothes she wears but honestly, she didn’t care. If you got it flaunt it right?

Just as she was about to get into bed, she heard a soft knock on her door thinking it Raven.

“You just can’t get enough of me, can you?” she smiled opening the door revealing it wasn’t Raven at all, it was Lexa. Once again, she had a beautiful dark green silk sleep dress and her hair in waves down her back. She was beautiful always, but Clarke couldn’t help but admire just how beautiful she was like this.

“I’m sorry were you expecting someone else?” the brunette asks insecurely, maybe she had a guest and didn’t want her there.

“No, I thought you were Raven, is something up?” Clarke asks, trying to keep her eyes from wondering but it was impossible, damn her.

“No, I just- I just came to see you.”

“Oh.” Clarke said surprised, Lexa came to see her?

“I can go if you want, I shouldn’t have just shown up here.” Lexa said before turning away but Clarke caught her hand.

“No, come in.” she smiled, and Lexa did the same entering the room and sitting on the small couch that was in the room.

“I’ve been wondering what happened there.” Clarke said pointing at the girl’s hand, it was bandaged tightly like It had been for the past week.

“It’s quite embarrassing actually.” Lexa looked down at her hand remembering how the glass decorated her hand when she smashed it.

“I love embarrassing stories.” She smiled, and Lexa sighed

“The night of the festival I was sitting at my throne watching over the festivities when I glanced over at the dance area when I saw you.” She said quietly, “You were dancing with a woman and you two seemed very close and she was touching you and then- she kissed you and I – well I don’t really remember smashing my glass cup but it happened and now I have this.” She said holding up her bandaged hand. “But it’s better now and it seemed like you were having fun so-.”

“I didn’t want her to kiss me.” She whispered avoiding Lexa’s gaze, “I didn’t want anyone to kiss me honestly because that would mean I would possibly forget how your lips felt and I didn’t want that.”

Lexa was speechless, she didn’t want to admit it then for Costia’s sake, but Lexa felt like she could physically feel her heart tearing apart at the sight of another person kissing ~~her~~ Clarke. But now knowing Clarke didn’t want that kiss and adding the fact that Clarke didn’t want anyone’s kiss besides hers made her heart do indescribable things.

“I’m so sorry for all of this.” Lexa murmured taking the girls in her own, “I’m sorry for hurting you-.”

“Lexa stop, I know you never hurt me on purpose.” She smiled, “No one could’ve predicated Costia would be alive and I never expected you to choose me, even then, I could’ve reacted better and actually talked to I just- I couldn’t.”

“I know.” She nodded, “And I know there is so much more we need to discuss and we will but the whole time I was in my room I couldn’t stop thinking about you and on a whim I decided to you come here. Mostly because I wanted to see you but also because this whole situation has been very confusing and hard for both of us and I know I said a lot of things and I just ended things with Costia but it’s important to me that you know where I stand.”

“Ok.” Clarke said reluctantly,

“Clarke, I don’t even know if it’s possible for me to describe what I feel for you mostly because I’ve never felt this. Just seeing you can put a smile on my face and when you laugh, I can feel my heart physically grow. You’re an amazing person and before I met you, I felt like I was just surviving, surviving life being Heda, everything but you make me want to actually start living and that excites me. You excite me and I need you to know there is no choice I only want you and I have since I met you and I hope it’s not too late.”

This information was overflowing Clarke’s whole being and for the first time in months she actually felt alive because until now she was just surviving too. She was running from her feelings and running from her thoughts but now she’s here with Lexa who is pouring her heart out to her and her voice won’t work.

Silent tears were rolling down her cheeks and her damn voice still wouldn’t work!! Lexa wiped her face leaving her hand softly cupping the blondes face and the only thing Clarke could do was lean in. Since her voice decided to completely give out on her, her lips would have to do the talking.

As soon as the brunette lips touched her, she could feel more tears streaming down her face and down Lexa’s too. This is what they both wanted for months and to an extent they both excepted they couldn’t have it but now they were here, and it felt right, it felt amazing.

“Will you stay?” Clarke murmured wiping the girls face as she nodded a reply.

Lexa led them to the bed her hand still intertwined with Clarkes, she was too afraid to let it go because she still wasn’t sure this was real.

Once Clarke was settled under the furs Lexa climbed in behind her instantly wrapping her arms around her sighing in relief, this was definitely real.

Tomorrow they took down Nia and there were endless ways that could end but right now that didn’t matter. All that mattered now was Lexa’s arms wrapped around her like a barrier of protection and their bodies intertwined so elaborately as if they were scared it could end any minute.

Tonight, they would enjoy this moment and tomorrow they fight their battle, but they would do it together and that’s what mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First i just want to say thank you for dealing with Costia, after the next chapter i don't think she'll make many more appearances so i know a lot of you will be happy about that!!!!!!!! Next I want to say thank you for reading and if you guys have any questions about the story feel free to ask and I'll answer. 
> 
> Coming Up In Chapter 17:  
> Bad ass Clarke (Obvi)  
> Bad ass Lexa;)  
> Snarky Costia  
> Queen Nia....  
> Maybe some fighting, maybe some killing probably both!  
> next chapter coming very very very soon!


	17. The land of the dead Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok guys so finally we face Nia and this chapter was originally 15,000+ words which is crazy so i split it up don't worry i'm posting them both at the same time! 
> 
> sorry for mistakes ya girl needs an editor or something because i suck at proof reading,

The next morning when Clarke woke it was to an empty bed and cold sheets and the sun was shining entirely too bright for her liking. Last night was playing vividly in her mind and if it wasn’t for her sore eyes and Lexa amazing lavender scent on her she would bet it was all a dream, but it was real. Lexa did come to her room last night and confess her feelings and just knowing that Clarke couldn’t wipe the smile from her face. It was a little disappointing that Lexa wasn’t there when she woke up, but she figured it was for a good reason she was Heda after all.

BUT, what if there is no good reason and Lexa left because they were moving too fast or she was having second thoughts and went to go talk to Costia? Ok no, she couldn’t over think, it would do her no good, right now she needed to get up and get ready for her meeting with Echo.

Quickly she washed up before changing into some jeans she found at one of the trading post and a tight blue shirt. Her hair was slowly getting out of control, it was almost touching her waist at this point and she needed to cut it. For now, she threw in two French braids before brushing her teeth and heading out. 

They had no real meeting time Clarke just told her she would be at the training grounds all morning and she could come by then. She hadn’t trained with Anya in a couple of days and she could use the distraction.

When she got to the pit, she saw that Anya was training Raven, miss I don’t need to be a badass warrior I’m the brains of the operation. It’s not that she wasn’t a good fighter, she could defend herself pretty well, but she almost never trained with her and Anya, so Clarke was surprised.

“Brains and she can fight.” Clarke smiled approaching the girls, “She’s a keeper.”

“Someone thinks I’m fragile.” Raven said rolling her eyes and Anya sighed,

“I didn’t say fragile, all I said was she needed to brush up on her fighting skills.”

“Looks good so far.” Clarke offered,

“Praise from the great Wanheda.” Raven cheered, “Now I can die happy.”

“Oh, shove it Reyes.” Clarke smiled, “As you were don’t let me interrupt and Anya don’t go easy on her.”

“Bitch.” Raven mumbled.

Clarke sat back and watched the couple fight it was almost entertaining, Anya wasn’t giving her all her strength and Raven used that to her advantage. Flirting and smirking until finally she disarmed Anya who seemed genuinely surprised by the action.

An hour or so passed and Clarke was already starting to get antsy, she knew today would get nerve racking, but she never imagined this. Her leg wouldn’t stop shaking and her hands wouldn’t stay still, doing this all day seemed impossible.

“I heard a certain commander spent the night in your bed.” Anya smiled sitting next to the girl,

“What?” Raven gasped, “Details.”

“All we did was sleep.” Clarke assured, “How do you even know?”

“I went to your room last night to see if you were there and I saw you guys.” Anya said, the scene was adorable.

“Yeah well she wasn’t there when I woke up, so I don’t really know what to think.” Clarke sighed,

“She is Heda, her mornings start early.” Anya said trying to reassure the girl, if she knew anything, she knew how much Lexa wanted to be with Clarke and vice versa. “And with everything going on tonight there is a lot to sort out.”

Clarke nodded, she figured she didn’t leave because she didn’t want to be there, but it was nice to here someone else say it.

“How do you guys feel about tonight?” Clarke asked, everyone involved knew how risky this plan was but as usual they didn’t have weeks to plan an attack, they had days, and this was the best Clarke could do.

“Generally, I try and hope for the best but it’s impossible with you two pointing out every flaw or everything that could go wrong.” Anya answered,

“What you mean like how we could die?” Raven said,

“Or how Nia and her men could kill us the moment we walk into the camp.” Clarke added,

“Or how something could happen that we don’t account for like a tornado wiping through here killing us all.” Raven adds,

“Or-.”

“Ok I get it.” Anya interrupted,

“I like to think of every possible outcome of a situation and remain neutral, that means no being positive or negative.” Clarke said, “It helps ease disappointment, but we can’t fail so as far as I’m concerned there is no other outcome.”

Right on cue Clarke saw Echo walking into the village looking at her briefly before walking into the woods.

“She’s here, I’ll find you after.”

“Be careful.”

“I will.” Clarke nodded before following the path the girl took, she hadn’t gone far into the woods just enough for them to be covered by the trees.

Echo looked stressed; it was clear she wasn’t entirely ok with what they were going to do tonight.

“Just before sunset you need to meet me here with Costia, we’ll have a few moments before Ilio will arrive. He won’t be to early or late he’ll arrive at sunset and we’ll leave immediately. Everything has to be in place.”

“It will be.” Clarke nodded,

“It’s still time to do this right.” Echo said,

“This is right.” Clarke said and Echo sighed defeatedly, “I didn’t realize until we were walking into Polis, but I knew I’ve seen you before.”

“I didn’t think you would remember.” Echo sighed,

“I probably wouldn’t have if I hadn’t seen Bellamy, what’s the deal anyways?” Clarke asked, “Flirt it up with him and once your free never talk to him again?”

“What?”

“You ignored him yesterday, from what he said it seemed like you actually liked him.”

The fight between her own emotions was clear on her face, Echo was an enigma and Clarke weren’t a huge fan of the unknown. She needed to figure out what her deal was.

“I did.” She whispered finally, “Like him I mean.”

“Then what happened.”

“My life is very complicated Wanheda.”

“Ok chill out with the Wanheda shit, just call me Clarke and I can handle complicated. I know Nia has something over you and you’re scared but I want to help. I want you to be able to be live your life how you want after this and I will do everything I can to help you just have to trust me.”

Trust was a foreign concept for Echo, her whole life she trusted no one and was used in anyway she could all for the sake of loyalty to her clan. The only time she was free was ironically when she was taken by the mountain. Even that torture was better than what she had to endure under Nia’s reign and if it weren’t for one thing she would’ve ran for the hills after the mountain fell.

“My sister.” She mumbled, and Clarke scrunched her brows in a sigh for clarity, “You want to know what Nia has over me, it’s my sister. Her name is Ontari, she- she’s special and Nia keeps her close because of it. When I was taken by the mountain Nia started using her for tasks, she used to give to me. She’s only 17 and innocent in all of this but Nia couldn’t care less.”

“What does Nia make you do?”

Echo seemed uncomfortable with the question and Clarke was ready to change the subject when she finally replied,

“As a spy your mission can be many different things, infiltrating a clan or staying in the shadows for information but mostly Nia would use me for other things.” She sighed, “If there were clan leaders who she needed… swayed to her side she would send me to seduce them. For the most part that was my role, anyone who could be influenced by sex for her cause I was the one she’d send. After I was taken by the mountain, she started using Ontari and when I found out I wanted more than anything to leave. Just take her and flee but it’s not that easy, I needed to earn Nia’s trust back so I could regain my freedoms then I was going to escape.”

Clarke knew Nia wasn’t a good person but hearing this was jarring, Echo was practically a sex slave and Nia was perfectly ok turning a seventeen-year-old into one and there was no way in hell Clarke was letting that happen.

“The other girl at Nia’s side, that’s your sister?” Clarke asked thinking back to the day she was taken, she hadn’t realized Echo and the other girl were siblings but it’s not like they all had a chance to introduce themselves.

“Yes, that is Ontari.” She nodded, “Nia keeps her close and if she finds out I betrayed her she’ll kill me and do unspeakable things to her.”

“I won’t let that happen, when we take down Nia, you’ll be free both of you.”

“Even if we do take her down Nia’s reach is farther than you think, she has loyal supporters and followers who want take her downfall well at all.”

“Then we’ll fight them too, I’m going to protect you. I’ll talk to Lexa; you’ve been helping us I’m sure she can offer you and Ontari protection in Polis.”

“I can’t ask you to do that Clarke.”

“You aren’t, I want to do this you’re risking everything to help me it’s the least I could do, just do me a favor.”

“What is it?” she asks,

“Talk to Bellamy when all of this is over, he’s an amazing guy and he likes you. Don’t waste this chance.”

Echo nodded with a small smile, now all Clarke needed to do was talk to Lexa before tonight.

* * *

From the moment Lexa opened her eyes she had been on the go, waking up was hard because all she wanted to do was stay with her arms wrapped around Clarkes but she knew Titus would be at her room first thing in the morning so she had to go.

So reluctantly she kissed Clarke on the cheek before sneaking out of her room and down the hall to her own. The last thing she needed was a speech from the man she heard many already when it came to Costia. Luckily, it wasn’t Titus waiting at her door it was Anya who was smirking harder than she’s ever seen. She knew it would be a long morning.

Meetings with the ambassadors ran later than usual while they argued over what to do with Azgeda. Lexa hadn’t informed them of the plan they had in place tonight, mostly because everyone was already on edge and she didn’t want to add to that. Hopefully when the day is over, she will return with the illusive Queen in shackles and she will pay for all the things she’s done.

Once the meeting was over Lexa decided she needed to talk to Costia, they weren’t together, but things still felt unfinished and she didn’t like that. She wanted to talk to her properly and lay everything out on the table for the sake of closure.

She found the girl reading a book outside in the same place she would often find her after her meetings in the past.

“1984, this must be the 100th time.” Lexa says making the girl jump slightly before relaxing,

“Yet each time it gets more interesting.” She smiles slightly, “Is something wrong?”

“No, not all I just figured we should talk.” Lexa replies taking the seat across from the woman,

“I was sort of dreading this but it’s necessary.” She sighed,

“I know these last few months haven’t been easy and I’m sorry I didn’t make them any easier. If I could describe the feelings I felt when she didn’t come back to me a year ago I would, but I can’t. I’ve never felt anything like that, and I still feel it sometimes even though you’re here and safe. I became someone you wouldn’t even recognize, and I think that’s where the disconnect started. I know you think it’s because of Clarke but really, it’s because of me. Coping with losing you was hard, and I let Titus into my head which made it worse and before I knew it was just Heda there was no Lexa left. I’m still learning how to get back to myself and maybe I never will, but I am trying, and I was trying for you. Even if it doesn’t seem like it, I was trying really hard, but I was failing.”

“Lexa, I know you were, this whole situation has been hard, but I knew you were trying. Being gone for a year I imagined so many times what it would be like, what our reunion would look like and I honestly think it kept me alive.” She smiled, “What I didn’t think of was how things would be like when I was back because in my mind I thought It would go back to like before and I never took into account you thinking I was dead and how that made you feel so for that I’m sorry. I know you wish we could still work, and I do to more than anything, but life is more complicated than that.”

“It is.” Lexa agreed, “Also I know it seemed like I didn’t care that you kissed that guard, but it did hurt. I understand you were feeling neglected rightfully so, but I was never unfaithful and seeing that was shocking. Even if we’re not romantic I still trusted you and that felt like a betrayal.”

“I am sorry for kissing the guard, but I think that even if you didn’t physically cheat, emotionally you did. Emotionally you haven’t been mine since I’ve been back and that hurts but I understand. We can’t control who we fall in love with.”

In all of this confusion Lexa could honestly say she never thought that, but it made since, her thoughts and emotions did belong to Clarke even if she tried to push it away. The constant guilt she’s felt for months because of it didn’t help but she was setting right now, she was trying to fix it.

“You are right and I’m sorry, I just hope even after this you won’t disappear from my life.” Lexa said looking into the girl’s hazel eyes, Costia was her best friend and has been since they were kids the thought of that ending felt wrong.

“I won’t but after tonight I am going back home, I think staying with my family for a while will give me some time to get back to myself as well.”

“But you’ll come back to Polis?”

“To visit of course but Polis was never my home.” She said smiling sadly and Lexa understood, she was only there for her. “Do you think everything will work out tonight?”

“I hope.” Lexa said honestly, so much could go wrong she just prayed it didn’t. “It has too.”

“And you really think Clarke will protect me?”

“I do.”

“Speaking of.” Costia said, Lexa following her eyes to the blonde who walking through town talking to Wells. Lexa didn’t know he was in Polis; she became quite fond of him while having him as a prisoner when his dad was on the loose. “Everyone loves her it seems.”

Lexa couldn’t help but smile seeing the blonde laughing and talking with her friend, she was somewhere beyond beautiful, and her laugh could cure sadness easily and damn, she really liked this girl.

No matter her own feelings Costia couldn’t help but smile at her ex fawning over the blonde who was thirty feet away. The way she was looking at her was something she had never seen from the woman; it was like the blonde was an angel because Lexa was in awe. Even though it hurt it also made her happy because she knows how much Lexa has given up and lost over the years so if Clarke is the cure all then she was ok with that.

“I’m going to go.” Costia said breaking the brunette from her trance. “Finishing this book for the hundredth time is high on my list seeing as all could go to hell later.” She smiled, “Someone will come get me when it’s time?”

“Yes.” Lexa smiled,

“I’ll be ready.”

Lexa nodded before watching the girl walk away and quickly, she turned her attention back to the blonde, but she was gone and so was Wells.

“Hey.”

Lexa jumped turning to see a smiling Clarke behind her,

“I didn’t see you sitting here, I went inside looking for you, can we talk?” She asks and Lexa nodded,

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up, I have meeting quite early.” She explained,

“It’s fine Lexa I didn’t expect anything.”

“Oh.” She replied quietly, didn’t expect anything?

“I was actually hoping to talk to you regarding Echo.”

“Ok, let’s go inside.”

They walked in silence both sneaking glances, it wasn’t awkward just quiet, very quiet. When they finally reached the throne room Lexa pulled out a chair that Clarke assumed was for herself but when Lexa looked at her confused, she realized it was for her.

“Sorry no one’s ever pulled a chair out for me before.” Clarke said making her way over to the chair, “My dad maybe.” She stopped seriously trying to think if anyone’s pulled a chair out for her before. “One-time Raven pretended she was pulling out a chair for me but really she pulled it all the way back making me fall on my ass in front of our whole class.”

“I believe Raven would do that; I assume you did something equally as humiliating to her back?”

“Of course not.” Clarke smiled innocently, “Ok, I might’ve put green dye in her shampoo so she would look like disgust from Inside Out. She wasn’t very happy.”

“Inside Out?” Lexa asks,

“It’s a movie, maybe we can watch it one day along with hundreds of other films. My family sort of loves movies, Anya’s definitely been converted to an avid movie lover.”

“I would love to see a movie.” Lexa smiled; she couldn’t describe how happy it made her at the thought of being a part of the movie nights Anya gushed about not too long ago.

“It’s a date then.” Clarke grinned,

“A date, like a romantic evening?” Lexa asks for clarification and Clarke laughs,

“If you’ll allow it.”

“Of course.” A date with Clarke sounds like the best thing to happen to her in years, “I would very much like to have a date with you Clarke.”

“Good, we’ll talk more about it later.” On the outside Clarke was chill but inside she was freaking out, did she really just casually ask Lexa out on a date and she said yes?

“Ok, now you said you wanted to talk about Echo. Did something change?”

“What? No, I mean- no the plan is the same this is more about what comes after.” Clarke said before explaining all that Echo told her, about her role with Nia and her sister and the prospect of Echo and her sister being allowed to stay in Polis. Lexa face stayed blank the whole time and Clarke honestly didn’t know what was going to come out of her mouth.

“If Echo keeps her word and continues to assist us then I can find a place here for her and her sister.” Lexa said and Clarke was a little shocked,

“Really?”

“Yes.” She nods, “What did you expect me to say?”

“I don’t know honestly, as far as I can tell most people here aren’t too fond of the Azgeda and they are both from there.”

Lexa sighed,

“Azgeda isn’t very popular in any of the clans but once Nia is no longer a threat, I plan to offer Azgeda the chance to join my coalition. Just because they were led by a tyrant doesn’t mean there aren’t good people who live there.” Lexa said knowingly, she knew for a fact there were.

“Can I ask, what exactly is Nia’s problem with you?” Clarke asked and Lexa sighed deeply,

“She believes I took something from her and as revenge she took something from me… - I want to say more I just-.”

“I understand.” Clarke took her hand intertwining their fingers, “Do you have any more meetings?”

“No.”

“Come on.” She pulled the girl out of the throne room and upstairs to her room where Lexa stood awkwardly with her hands behind her back, while Clarke took off her jacket and boots. Afterwards Clarke moved to take off Lexa’s sword holster and her jacket as well, it wasn’t sexual, but it did relax Lexa which she appreciated. Once they were both out of their uncomfortable clothes Clarke pulled them towards the bed and cuddled as close as humanly possible to the brunette.

They didn’t talk, they didn’t need to being in each other’s arms was enough and they had a few hours to enjoy it. An hour in Clarke finally broke the silence,

“Are you allowed to sneak off like this?” she asks while playing with one of the woman’s intricate braids, “I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“Not really but I’m in charge here and to some extent I can do what I want.” She smiled, “And all I want is to lay here with you.”

“I have to go back to Arkadia tomorrow.” Clarke blurted out causing Lexa to sit up,

“What, why?” what she really wanted to say was no, you can’t leave me I just got you.

“When I saw Bellamy yesterday he was telling me my parents weren’t happy I haven’t returned which is fair because I did promise to visit at least once a week and I obviously can’t tell them about what’s going on and I just need to explain. Plus, I promised my mom I would help in the clinic and I feel bad for never showing up and I have a few jobs I have to do as well.” Clarke said, she hated seeing Lexa’s disappointed face but also loved that she cared, “But I’ll be back as soon as I can, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok Clarke I understand you had priorities and commitments before you came here, I never expected to be one right away.” She hated how that sounded but she already said it,

“Lexa you are a priority to me.” Clarke sits up in the bed, Lexa following, “You told me where you stand, I think it’s only fair I do the same. Before this I’ve never liked anyone before, not even on the Ark I’ve always avoided any sort of romantic gestures or notions because I simply just wasn’t interested. For a while I was convinced, I wasn’t capable of feeling those things but then I met you and I understood. I finally understood what romcoms meant when they would describe these overwhelming emotions for another person or what Raven felt after her first kiss with Finn. What I’m saying is the moment I saw you I felt something awaken in me and since the mountain I’ve been trying to make it go away but I can’t, and I don’t want to. I want you and now that have the chance, I’m going to do whatever it takes to keep you.” “I’ll be back as soon as I can, I’ll run if I have too.”

“As long as you come back, I’ll be ok.” Lexa smiled; hearing Clarke verbalize her feelings made the word of difference even if she knew she had them hearing them made it all the more real.

“I will, I promise now let’s talk about something lighter like your favorite color. What is it?”

Lexa laughed at the question, no one ever asked her trivial things like her favorite color. In fact, for hours her and Clarke talked about tons of trivial things like favorite food, books, everything and anything they could think of. Lexa even learned Clarkes favorite food is something called Pizza, apparently, they had it on the Ark. She made a mental note to search her library for any old cookbooks so her chefs could attempt the dish when the blonde returned to Polis.

Halfway into Clarke describing some of her favorite movies they both noticed it was it was getting late which meant Clarke had to go. Neither wanted to move but this was it, once again they didn’t have a choice.

Lexa watched silently as Clarke changed into her typical leather pants and black cropped shirt. She couldn’t help but notice how confident Clarke was in herself, she always wore what she wanted, and she didn’t bat an eye at changing in front of her which was mute since they’ve seen each other naked but still. That was one of the many things she liked about Clarke, she simply didn’t care what others thought.

“Can I?” Lexa asked motioning to the blonde who was attempting to braid her hair,

“Please.” She smiled sitting on the floor sighing as soon as Lexa fingers were in her hair,

Lexa’s touch was light almost as if she was afraid to hurt her, but Clarke felt this may be one of the most intimate moments they’ve had yet. She knows Lexa probably doesn’t think she knows much grounder culture, but she knew some. Like how a woman would always braids their partners hair before battle as a show of affection. Calling Lexa her partner felt like an overstep but she didn’t care and maybe she was reading too much into it, maybe Lexa simply was just trying to help her minus the gesture.

“I can practically hear your thoughts you’re thinking so loud.” Lexa knotted the French braid gently setting it down the girls back, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing i- I’m just- nothing.” Clarke shook her head before heading to the mirror, the braid was far better than anything she could’ve done, “It’s beautiful, thank you.”

Lexa moved to the girl standing behind her admiring the girl in the reflection,

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Lexa whispered peppering kisses down the girl’s neck,

“It’s nothing really.” Clarke leaned into the kisses, “Just hoping all of this works out in our favor.” She lied, pushing away the thought about asking Lexa her motives for braiding her hair.

“You haven’t disappointed yet; I know you won’t this time either.”

“I hope.” Clarke whispered before turning around coming face to face with captivating green eyes, “I need you to know that I won’t let anything happen to Costia.” Even though she felt like Lexa already knew that she needed to say it out loud, “I know she doesn’t think it, but I will protect her.”

“I know.” She smiled, “I trust you Clarke, 100%.”

Clarke leaned in capturing the brunette’s lips in hers wishing more than anything to just stay here in this moment, but a knock at the door solidified that could never happen. She pulled out of the kiss hesitantly resting her forehead on Lexa’s.

“It’s probably Raven with the tracking device.” Clarke sighed, “Come in.”

Raven and Monty enter the room both a little surprised at Lexa’s presence, Raven smirking instantly.

“Look what we have here, did we interrupt?”

“Yes actually.” Lexa said surprising everyone, “But for good reason, I should probably go prepare as well.” Lexa turned to Clarke who was already looking at her and she smiled, saying a proper goodbye now seemed out of the question since they had an audience.

“I’ll see you soon.” Clarke smiled understanding her plight,

“See you soon.” She replied squeezing the blonde’s hand before exiting the room.

“Save it.” Clarke said holding up her hand to Raven who she knew was preparing her next inappropriate comment,

“Fine.” She surrendered, “But all I was going to say was you two look cute together.”

“It’s true.” Monty chimed in and Clarke smiled,

“Thanks.” _They were cute_ , “Now explain to me how all this is going to work.”

“Ok, so this is the wire you asked for although aren’t they just going to search you?”

“Yes, but I have a solution for that, what about the tracking.”

“Last minute this is the best we could do.” Monty held up what Clarke could only describe as a microchip of some sort, “Realistically a beacon would be better but it’s too big even if the grounders didn’t know what it was, they would still take it when they searched you.”

“So that’s why we went with a chip.” Raven explained, “It’s discrete and should work for the most part.”

“For the most part?” Clarke questioned, and Raven sighed which un-nerved the blonde,

“It has some flaws, we tested it earlier and as soon as Monty got maybe a thirty-minute walk away the signal cut out.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning in order to keep your location we have to trail you, no more than a few miles apart.”

That wasn’t the plan, it was always for them to wait an hour out and follow but plans change in battle.

“Fine, it’ll be dark that will help with cover, but we need warriors who know how to walk in the woods and travel by trees quietly, tell Lexa and Anya that. Leave a trail for Skaikru warriors to follow after, they’ll make the most noise. According to Echo the last time she was there, they only had about twenty Azgeda guards in the camp. We won’t need too many people but it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“Ok.” Raven nodded, “Wells can come in with the Rover, by the time he arrives they’ll already know we’re there so the noise won’t matter.”

“Alright then it’s time.” Clarke said,

“There’s another thing, you can’t get the chip wet.” Raven added, “We had little to no time to make it so the protective layer is basically non-existent, any sort of moisture could very well disintegrate it.”

“No sweating got it.” The blonde nodded placing the chip in the lining of her jacket before buttoning it. “Anything else?”

“One more thing.” Raven reached in her bag pulling out a small knife and a few daggers with coverings, “Their small enough to hide in your hair, innovative I know.” She untied the end of Clarkes braid securing the biggest knife before redoing the braid, so the hair covers it, it was bulky but un-noticeable. She secured the smaller daggers at the base of her hair as well.

“I knew all this hair would come in handy.” Her braid that Lexa did for her was ruined but now she had a weapon, which was a plus.

“Don’t die.” Raven said wrapping her arms around her best friend, “We say that to each other too much you know.”

“I agree.” She smiled, “Life on the ground and all though.”

“Yeah, dangers and all that fun stuff.”

“Stuff we live for.” Clarke smirked, “Are we sure we aren’t in a movie?”

“At this point it’s hard to tell.” Raven sighed, “Just in case let’s make it an ending where we come out on top yeah?”

“You have no clue how much I wanted to make a sex joke there.”

“I half expected.” Raven shrugged,

“It’s too late now the moments ruined.”

“God, I love you.”

“I love you too, I have to go Echo is probably already waiting. Will you save me the awkwardness and ask Costia to meet me out back?”

“Of course.”

“Then until later.”

* * *

Fifteen weeks breathing fresh air and living on the ground and Clarke had already fought and won one war, killed over 300 people, become a bounty hunter/mercenary hybrid and now she was attempting to take down a kingdom. She knew she was crazy, but this was insane, what was even more insane was she wasn’t even scared. The moment she walks back into Nia’s hide out she could be killed but that didn’t matter. She may not be the most positive when it came to discussing possible outcomes of her battle plans but no matter what she always believed in them.

Like marching on the mountain or sending Bellamy into Mount Weather, she knew they could die but she didn’t doubt herself even when she wanted to even when everything seemed hopeless, she kept fighting. That was no different now but if she could admit anything, she was tired of having to make battle plans and having enemies, for once she just wanted simple. It was the main reason she started bounty hunting, the task was always simple, and she genuinely enjoyed it. She enjoyed tracking down people and as much as she hated running a part of her did enjoy the chase. The feeling of catching her prey and taking it back to the client was liberating, making battle plans and fighting useless enemies was suffocating and for the love of anything good she hoped this would be the last time she would have to do this.

“Wanheda.”

She turned seeing Costia in all of her curly hair amazing skin perfect glory, she was dressed in dark pants and a green shirt that brought out her hazel eyes beautifully, Clarke couldn’t help but wonder why Lexa would choose her. Costia was practically a model and Clarke was… well not but that didn’t matter there were bigger problems at play.

“Ready?” was all the blonde could figure to say I mean it’s not like any of them have a choice. The girl only nodded as a response and Clarke didn’t know what else to do other than walk.

The meeting spot wasn’t far, but it was deep enough in the woods where most citizen wouldn’t be passing by. A few feet away she could see Echo pacing, she knew she was nervous, but she looked terrified.

“You really need to chill.” Clarke said when they finally reached the girl, “Everything’s going to be fine.”

“You don’t know that.” Echo snapped, “You don’t know Nia like I do.”

“You’re right, but Nia nor you know me as much as you think. She may have had people watching me, but she doesn’t know a damn thing. You don’t have to trust me Echo but I do want you to know this, I don’t give up and I will get you and Ontari out of this alive and back here where Lexa said you can stay.”

“She said that?” Echo asked snapping her head up, similar to a deer in headlights,

“Yes, you just have to keep your word and she’ll keep hers.”

“Fine.” She sighed, “Ilio should be here anytime, you should knock her out.”

Clarke turned to Costia who was already looking at her expectedly, Clarke expected some sort of comment or snark but there was nothing.

“Listen I know me and you will probably never be friends and I understand that, this whole thing is shitty and I’m sorry for my part in it but we’re here now and if we want to get out of this we have to work together. I swear I will do everything in my power to keep you safe, I won’t let Nia, or anyone touch you.”

“I trust you Clarke.” Costia said totally surprising the blonde,

“Really?”

“Well I trust Lexa and she trusts you, that’s enough for now.” She shrugged, “And if this all goes to hell, I’m not too sure I’ll be that bothered... I’m pretty sure I died a year ago.” 

“Don’t say that.” Clarke said quickly, “You survived what so many didn’t, and I know things are different than how they were but that’s life. The things we cherish and care for most can change and we find new things to cherish and love, you just have to be open to it. So after this live your life because you can, try new things and meet new people because since I fell from the sky I’ve discovered so many things and I know you’ve been here your whole life but there is a lot out there to still see.”

“Amazing fighter, crowd pleaser and motivational speaker. You really do have it all.” The girl laughed, Clarke wasn’t as bad as she thought which she didn’t know if that should be assuring or annoying,

“You seem pretty cool as well.” Clarke smiled,

“If you two are done with girl talk, we need to get back on track.” Echo interrupted,

“Right.” Clarke pulled out the reaper stick, “This is only half a dose if anything you’ll be out for an hour, when you start to wake you need to stay calm don’t move too much ok?”

“I got it.”

“Will they search her?” Clarke asked Echo,

“Probably not.”

“Good.” Clarke took the small wire Raven gave her and handed it to Costia. “Clip it to your pants and run the wire over your shoulder and down your shirt.”

The girl took the radio and did what Clarke told her,

“Ok, this is going to sting.”

It had been a while since Clarke had used the reaper stick and she forgot how instant it was having to catch Costia before she hit the ground. Echo tied her wrist and legs and put a wrap over her mouth, it truly looked like Clarke actually kidnapped her.

“When we get there, I want you to get Ontari by your side as quickly as you can ok?” Clarke asked the girl quietly; she could see the man approaching on his horse and a small cart trailing him.

Echo nodded,

The man Echo referred to as Ilio wasn’t the same man to bring them back to Polis, but he looked equally as scary.

“Get her in the cart.” He ordered Echo who obeyed quickly while he moved towards Clarke.

He removed her swords and her gun as expected before moving to pat her down. Clarke felt him getting a little too handsy groping her thighs and even her butt which made her instantly knee him in the stomach.

“Sorry.” She shrugged, “Reflexes.”

“Get in.” He growled moving to get back on his horse.

She got in the cart sitting across from Echo who looked worried, and at first, she didn’t know why but then she realized. He didn’t tie their hands or cover their heads this time and that only meant one thing, Nia didn’t care if they saw where her hideout was. For Clarke that definitely meant she planned to kill her for Echo she didn’t know, but what they both knew was this whole thing just got a little more frightening.

* * *

After leaving Clarke’s room Lexa went to change into to something more lowkey, something that wouldn’t draw attention to the fact that the commander was leaving Polis. So, she dressed in simple pants and a plain shirt and put a covering over her braids. There was no face paint or pauldron just regular citizen clothes something she never looked like anymore.

She grabbed her sword and walked downstairs to her throne room where Anya and the others were waiting. Upon entering she knew right away something was wrong.

“What is it?” Lexa asked Anya and Raven who were already walking towards her,

“We need to go now; the tracking chip can cut out any minute.” Raven said, “We tried to fix it, but we couldn’t, so we need to leave in the next ten.”

Battle plans were always at rick of changing Lexa knew that very well seeing as she’s fought three wars since being commander. She didn’t waver at the even the thought of one of her battle plans failing and she wouldn’t now.

“Then we’ll go now.” Lexa said, she gathered her most trusted warriors and led them towards the back exit. “How long has Clarke been gone?”

“Twenty-five minutes maybe.” Raven answered,

“What direction?”

“East, opposite of the post.”

* * *

An hour and a half in Clarke could see Costia starting to wake, she didn’t move much like Clarke told her, but she could see the girl open her eyes for a second and look at her. Clarke tried to give her a reassuring smile, but nothing was really reassuring about any of this that became clear when Clarke heard raindrops hitting the wood of the cart.

“Fuck me.” She muttered to herself, the chip was in her jacket, but Raven specifically said don’t get it wet and now it was pouring rain, and everything was fucked. Quickly she took the jacket off balling it up as much as she could before moving toward Costia.

“I need to put this under you, try not to move it can’t get wet. “she whispered stuffing the jacket under where the girl was laying before Ilio looked back ,

“What are you doing?” he yelled,

“Her head is hitting the wood, I just put my jacket under her.” Clarke said, it was the best she could do.

“Oh well, get back to your seat.”

The blonde rolled her eyes muttering ‘asshole’ under her breath before sitting next to Echo who didn’t look at her. At this point the rain was relentless, she could barley see ten feet ahead of her at this point.

The cart felt like it was barley holding on, the wheels were getting stuck in mud and all of them were drowning in water. Clarke considered saying something about them stopping or at least finding shelter until the rain stops but one look from Echo and she knew that wasn’t a good idea.

Finally, after suffering through more bumpy terrain and cold rain one of the wheels on the cart broke off causing one side to collapse. The noise of it must’ve terrified the horse because not a second later Ilio was on the ground and the horse was nothing but a blur.

Clarke considered running, she could see lights ahead so she knew they must be close, and the rain would give them some leeway but that wouldn’t be wise. First, she would have to kill Ilio then they could go from there.

“Get up, we’re walking the rest of the way.” Ilio said, Clarke could tell he was a little disoriented from the horse, she could use that.

Echo and Clarke got Costia up and out of the cart, she was awake, but she was still tied up. One look at the jacket and Clarke knew it was soaked which meant the tracking had probably cut out, if anything she hoped they were close enough behind. She pushed away all thoughts of the rain throwing them of course or the tracking cutting out too soon her anything negative because she needed to think clearly.

“Hands.” He demanded using rope from the cart to tie Clarkes hands behind her back as well as Echo’s.

Clarke could see the panic in Costia’s eyes, and she wondered if that was acting or if she was truly terrified and maybe for a second Clarke was too.

* * *

“We’ve been following for an hour, do either of you have any clue where they could be going?” Raven asked Lexa and Anya who were walking by her side,

“No, from here you can to a number of clans there’s the glowing forest, shadow valley, you could even get to TonDC from here.” Lexa sighed, it bothered her that Nia has been here this whole time, right under her and she didn’t know it. She imagined what their reunion would be like, she hadn’t seen the woman in years, and she had no desire to but tonight would be the end of their feud. Tonight, there would be real justice for all Nia has done over the years.

“Wait.” Raven stopped watching the tablet for a minute, “They made a turn finally.” For the most part they had been walking straight ahead, she turned to the tablet Lexa who looked like she knew something, “What is it?”

“Nothing, It’s just-.” Lexa paused, “There’s nothing that way, not anymore.”

“There has to be for them to be going there.” Raven said still starring at the screen. Anya leaned over tasking at look before looking back to Lexa who had started walking a few paces ahead. “What don’t I know?”

Anya sighed turning to her girlfriend, “She’s right, there is nothing there anymore and hasn’t been for a long time.”

Raven could tell it was something more, something Lexa nor Anya wanted to talked about, so she knew it had to be serious. She watched as they both walked silently wondering what the hell was going on.

A few more minutes into their silent walk and Ravens nightmare was coming true.

“No.” she mumbled watching the small drops of water land on her screen, “No, No, dammit.”

“It’s just rain Rae.” Anya said earning glare from the girl,

“It’s not just rain!” she yelled, “I specifically told Clarke the chip couldn’t get wet or it would basically die. Fuck I knew I should’ve tried harder to create a protective layer or at least made a casing. Dammit why didn’t I make a fucking casing!”

“It’s going to be ok.”

“No, it’s not! This is my best friend and she trusted me to make the tracking chip and I failed I fucking failed and unless we run and catch up, we have no clue where their going.” Raven was full blown panicking and Anya had never seen her like this, but she knew how much Clarke meant to her, so she understood and the harder the rain fell the more anxious she could see the girl getting and she didn’t know what to do to help,

“Lexa.” Anya caught up to the girl who was still staring ahead fighting against the heavy water in their path, “Do you think-.”

“Don’t you?” She interrupted already knowing what was going to come out the girl’s mouth, “How could I not have thought of it?”

“Because no one goes there.”

“They don’t go there because I ordered it!” Lexa shouted, “When has Azgeda ever followed my orders, of course that’s where she would be it’s perfect.”

“Where?” They heard Raven ask, “If you know where they are then good because the tracking is fucked, and we need to find them so where?”

The one place Lexa never wanted to return, the place she almost lost everything, the place someone she loved more than anything never returned from all because of someone else’s jealously and spite. The place all her nightmares lived the one place she hated more than anything because of what it took from her.

“ _terra mortuis_.” Lexa said, “The land of the dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> go read part 2 !!!!!!!!!!!! comment and tell me what you think!


	18. The land of the dead Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's part two!

The lights were getting brighter and Clarke knew it was now or never if she wanted to make a move. Ilio was walking in front of her and Echo as he dragged Costia along a little too roughly, clearly not please he was picked for this job.

The rain was making the rope looser around her wrist, but it was still taking longer than she liked so she tried something else. She grabbed one of the daggers Raven thankfully put in her hair and started cutting and after a few minutes she felt the pressure release and the ropes drop.

She smiled a bit rubbing her wrists ignoring the glances from Echo, with the dagger still in her hand soundlessly she sauntered close to the man kicking his knee from behind as hard as she could and slitting his throat with the dagger. He dropped to the ground lifelessly his blood mixing with the rain. Clarke moved to untie Echo who looked pissed then untied Costia who was confused.

“What the hell?” Echo spat, “Why did you kill him we need him to get into the camp.”

“Plans change, he didn’t cover our heads or even tie our hands in the cart clearly Nia wasn’t planning on letting me go after this I didn’t expect that but I also can’t walk in there and die on the spot.”

“Then what now?” Costia asked trying to dissipate some of the tension between the girls,

“Now we scope out the place and I’ll form a plan from there.” The blonde replied taking the swords and any other weapon off the dead man in front of them.

The rain wasn’t letting up, but Clarke thought of that as having the advantage, the closer they got to the camp the more she realized it wasn’t much of a camp at all. The place looked like someone took a flame thrower to it, the grass was dull and short and there was only one standing house that looked like it was built into the rocks that stood behind it.

There weren’t many guards standing post maybe six and they were pretty spread out, Clarke could easily take them out but there were likely more inside or spread out in the woods.

Before she could think of another way, she felt someone grab her shoulder and scream, when she looked back, she saw a frightened Costia being grabbed by a man who was twice her size. His face was covered in cuts and instantly she knew he was Azgeda, she drew her sword running after them slicing the man in the leg, but it did nothing.

“Shit.” Clarke muttered seeing the man throw Costia down before moving towards her, she fought back the best she could getting a few cuts in, but it was like the man was made of steel.

He knocked her sword from her hand picking her up by the neck and started squeezing, her vision was getting blurry and with one more squeeze she knew he could crush her throat effortlessly. Her hands were thrashing everywhere and last minute she remembered her hair. She reached for the other dagger ripping a piece of hair out in the process before jamming it in the man’s neck.

Blood splattered everywhere mainly on Clarke before the tight grip around her neck let up and she dropped to the ground. Quickly she reached for one of the knives she took from Ilio and pierced it through the man’s heart which killed him instantly.

“You saved me.” Costia said rushing to her side,

“I said I would protect you didn’t I.” Clarke could already feel her voice giving out, she wouldn’t be surprised if the mans grip permanently damaged her vocal cords. “Where the hell is Echo?” Right on cue the girl came into her view covered in blood as well,

“I was a little busy.” She said pointing to another dead Azgeda guard across from them,

“Oh.”

“Now would be a good time for a plan.” Echo said and Clarke had no clue where to go from here.

“Are you sure Nia only has twenty or so guards here?”

“I’ve never seen more than that, but the house isn’t big inside and I wasn’t allowed outside so I don’t know for sure.” Echo answered, “I need to get my sister out of there Clarke if we don’t show up soon Nia will know something’s wrong, the rain gives us some time but not a lot.”

“I know, I know.” Clarke stood up trying to think of a way out of this, “Costia give me the wire.” The girl quickly unclipped the small box from her pants and fished the wire from her shirt before handing it to Clarke.

She took it and walked a few feet away before clicking the small button and grabbing the mic at the end of the long wire.

“Rae I don’t know if this is even working or if you can hear me but if you can then I’m sure the tracking cut out by now, I tried to keep it dry but it’s pissing rain and luck isn’t on our side.” She laughed, “Look we don’t have many options here, and I don’t know how far out you are, but I could really use some saving, I think my badass powers are giving out on me.”

* * *

Lexa listened to the device Raven was holding as Clarke’s voice poured out of it, the rain was loud, and the voice was staticky, but it was audible.

“I promised Echo I would get her sister out of there and I can’t do that without going inside and we have no clue what is waiting for us there, so I’m stuck. I guess I’m not what everyone thinks, or maybe I am. I can command death perfectly fine but saving people, that’s not in the description. I have no clue where we are but it’s very strange, the place looks burned down and there’s one standing house. I know we passed a small river and huge rocks on the way here but other than that I have no clue where we are. I wish I had more to help you find it but that’s it.”

Lexa sighed as she heard Clarke describe the place she was at; she was hoping she had been wrong, but they were there. 

“How far?” Raven asked,

“Ten minutes if that.”

* * *

Clarke looked back at Echo and Costia before turning back to the radio,

“I’m going to let Echo take me as a prisoner to get inside, once I’m there I’m going to kill Nia and kill everyone else to get out of there, hopefully. I’m sending Costia back towards the way we came, I’m not going to let her get hurt please tell Lexa that.”

She walked back over to the girls who were waiting and handed the wire back to Costia.

“Here.” Clarke took the sword from the guard Echo killed and handed that to the girl as well, “You need to walk back in the direction we came, stay alert and go as quickly as you can.”

“What? You want me to leave?”

“Yes, the plan was fucked from the beginning honestly. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way, we were supposed to get inside and I was supposed to stall but the fucking guy didn’t put hoods on us and that threw me off and it’s raining like I’ve never fucking seen and I killed Ilio and everything’s getting pretty bleak.”

From the beginning the plan was for the guard to take the three of them to the camp while Raven was tracking them. Lexa and her group were going to follow with warriors and a few Skaikru would come in rovers as back up. Lexa was supposed to take the camp while Echo and Clarke secured there selves in the room with Nia until Lexa came. It wasn’t a bulletproof plan, but it was something and now Clarke had nothing as they stood five minutes away from where the Queen was waiting.

“That’s the negative talk I mean.”

Clarke froze at the voice wondering if it was only a hallucination her brain created because she badly needed saving, but she could hear the footsteps approaching and she knew it was real.

“Thank god.” She heard someone say before she felt arms around her, “Glad we got here before you went off to be stupid.”

“Me too.” She said honestly returning the hug before she pulled out, “How can you look this good after walking in the rain for hours?”

“It’s a gift.” Raven smiled,

Clarke looked around seeing Anya lingering behind and Lexa who was hugging Costia.

“I need a wake-up call.” Clarke murmured closing her eyes, “I need you to tell me I’m not a total failure and this whole thing isn’t ruined because of me.”

“It’s not.” Someone said and when she looked up, she saw it wasn’t Raven but instead Lexa who’s braids were unraveling and her clothes were soaked but she looked gorgeous, “And you’re not a failure.”

“I’ll give you a minute.” Raven said before walking off,

“You can’t start doubting yourself now Clarke, we’ve gotten this far, and we still have a battle to win.” Lexa said as she moved the wet strands of hair from the blonde’s face, “Now I need Clarke, badass sky warrior and mountain slayer not a doubtful child who has given up.”

“I haven’t given up.” The blonde whispered, “Ok, maybe I did for a second, but your pep talk worked.” She grinned,

“Good.” The brunette smiled slightly, “Now come, we need to make a plan.”

Being back on this land after so many years made Lexa feel nauseated and she could see Anya was the same, she banned these lands for a reason yet here she was. But the past is the past and right now she needed to put her feelings aside for the collective as always.

The rain was finally slowing into a drizzle which soon turned into to nothing more than a sprinkle.

“Then what’s the plan?” Anya asked,

“You see the rocks that the house is built are built into?” Lexa pointed, “They’re hollow on the inside essentially making it a tunnel, it leads to TonDC which is a couple hours east of here. When the house was built it was built specifically made to be an entry point for the tunnel. There’s an entry point about ten minutes from here, I’ll take a group through there while the rest of you deal with the guards. Anya you make sure every point is covered. We have twenty-four people which means we can take the front and the back; I want every corner covered no one gets away.” Lexa ordered, “I want Nia alive, any Azgeda guard in your way you kill them with the exception of one.” Lexa turned to Echo, “Will your sister be by Nia’s side?”

“Most likely.” She answered before adding, “Heda.”

“Anya make sure everyone has a description of her she is not to be harmed, Raven have you made contact with Skaikru?”

“No, the tablet’s fucked so I can’t get the coordinates for them to follow since our trail was ruined by the rain, I’m radioing with Bellamy now.”

“Is Lincoln or Indra with them?” Lexa asked,

“Yeah I think both are.”

“Tell them we’re at the Wonkru safe haven, he’ll understand, and he’ll know where we are.”

“Got it.”

“How do you know so much about this place?” Clarke asked her,

“I’ll tell you later right now we need to go, with the rain clearing they’ll send more guards out for watch and maybe even to look for you.”

“They’re about thirty minutes out, in the rover they should be quick.” Raven said,

“Wait for them in the tree line, stay low and only use your gun when necessary do you understand?” Lexa asked,

“Yes, I get it.” Raven said before noticing the way some of the warriors tensed up at the way she talked to Lexa, “I meant yes commander.”

“Good Costia is with you, Echo you’re with me as well as-” Lexa started naming a few of her guards who would join her in the tunnel, “Ok let’s go.”

Lexa and her team started their journey towards the tunnels before Lexa stopped noticing one person was missing. When she turned back the blonde was starring at them,

“What are you doing?” Lexa asked, “Come on.”

“I’m going with Anya’s team; she’ll lead the front I’ll lead the back.” Clarke answered, by the look on Lexa’s face she could see she didn’t like that idea, but Clarke didn’t need her permission,

“You’re coming with me to the tunnels.” Lexa said matter of factly,

“Lexa-.”

“Clarke don’t fight me on this, I need you by my side I can’t let her-.” She paused adverting her eyes anywhere but in front of her where she knew the blue eyes were waiting for her, “ **I won’t** let her take you from me too.”

Clarke wasn’t sure what she meant but she knew her past with Nia wasn’t a great and she could tell it had something to do with the place they were in.

“She nor anyone else could ever take me from you I promise, Anya needs me until Skaikru guards arrive with reinforcements.”

Lexa knew it was true but a part of her didn’t care, she selfishly wanted the blonde by her side,

“We’ll take the outside you just worry about the inside I promise I’ll be right there waiting for you.” She smiled grabbing the girl’s hand, she knew pda wasn’t something they could do right now but neither of them cared, “To seal the promise I want you to have this.” Clarke took off her watch putting it on the girl’s wrist, “This is really special to me and so are you, so I know you’ll keep it safe until we see each other again, ok?”

Lexa nodded looking at the watch before looking back to Clarke,

“Ok, be safe.” She wanted to say more but everyone was already starring at them and she needed to go,

“You too.” Clarke squeezed her hand one last time before the girl walked away into the woods leading her team to the tunnels,

“You could’ve went you know.” Anya said standing next to the blonde, “Ryder could’ve easily led the other team,

“I know but if I’m with her she’ll be distracted trying to protect me and I’ll be trying to protect her too so it’s better if we’re in two different places.” Clarke sighed, she didn’t know if her and Lexa were in a relationship because they haven’t had that talk yet, but she knew she’s was already all in. She knew without a doubt her feelings for Lexa were stronger than they should be at this point and even though it was scary it felt right, and she wasn’t losing that because of a miserable ice hag.

“Good call.” Anya nodded, “We’re going to move into the tree line until Lexa radios that they’re at the entrance. Once she’s there we’ll attack from the outside drawing most of the warriors out, so they take inside.”

“Ok, now we wait.”

* * *

The tunnels were just as Lexa remembered as a child, dark and scary but also exciting and interesting. She remembered always wanting to travel through them, but her mom wouldn’t allow it, not until they went through and made it safe for kids which never came to fruition.

The more she walked the harder the air was to breath and the faster the memories came back. She hated this place and now the person who made her despise it, is also the person who made her return when she vowed never too.

In her mind it was perfect, almost as if Nia planned it this way. If anything, her main goal was Lexa’s undoing, they’ve been playing this game for half her life and she was over it. Eventually one of them would have to make the first move, the first real action that wasn’t a petty threat and when Lexa reached the familiar small crawl space, she knew it would be her.

She pulled out the radio Raven had given her and pressed the buttons how she was told too.

“Raven this Lexa, we’re at the entrance in the tunnel. Tell Anya she’s up.”

There was a short pause before she heard a small click sound and a static filled voice,

“Got it commander.”

* * *

Clarke led her team of grounders towards the back of the house and they were greeted with some very angry Azgeda warriors. Saying these men were huge was an understatement.

“Fuck, are you people built by the gods or something!” Clarke exclaimed while running her sword through one of the men and blocking an arrow from another. Anya training paid off and the warriors accompanying her were skilled which helped. “Anya, we got the back how many in the front?” she said into the radio Raven gave her before they left

“We’re all good here, any casualties?”

Clarke looked around at her team, they had no dead just injured but nothing fatal,

“Nothing that can’t wait, I’m going in.”

“Clarke, wait for her signal.”

“Does this seem a little easy to you?” Clarke asked looking around, it was quite and that was a bad sign surly Nia knew they were attacking by now so why haven’t they seen more warriors-. “Do you think she’s barricading herself?”

“I wouldn’t put it past her.”

“Then I’m going in, Lexa could be ambushed the minute she opens the door from the tunnels.”

“Fine, stay alert and remember-.”

“Confirm your kill yada yada yada I know Anh.” She interrupted,

“Such a headache I swear, just be careful.”

“You too.” With that she clipped the radio back onto the belt loop of her pants and drew her sword, “Be prepared for anything when I open this door.”

They all nodded drawing their swords as well preparing for what’s to come, Clarke kicked open the door that already barley looked secure. They were met with silence, but Clarke still didn’t move. After a minute she took one step towards the entrance huge shadow figure jumping at her, she dodged it in time slicing the man’s stomach before slitting his throat. Slitting throats had never really been her thing but today it might as well have been her specialty.

She let a minute or so pass before she went to enter the house and the inside was nothing like she expected, not that she had expectations, but it looked very…. preserved? Which seemed odd for the whole situation.

* * *

Once Anya gave them all clear Lexa entered the house through the crawl space and into the hidden room that was built to conceal the door. It was dark and she could barely see but the light under what she remembered as a bookshelf gave them some illumination.

She listened carefully hearing running and feet shuffling, she assumed it was the guards running outside to defend against her warriors. Once it was quiet for a few minutes she slid the shelf back allowing her to see into the house. The hall was empty only occupied by the torches that gave the space light.

Quietly she pushed the shelf giving them enough room to exit and once they were all in the hall, she closed it. What she saw only angered her more because as she looked around everything was how she remembered. What she thought would be old and molded and dusty is clean and vibrant as it was thirteen years ago. It was like someone had been living here this whole time infuriated her further. The only thing on her mind was finding Nia and killing anyone who dared get in her way and she was about to her first victim.

Footsteps filled the hallway and Lexa drew her sword preparing for what was to come. A man twice her size came into view and as soon as he saw them his expression changed readying his already drawn sword.

“No.” Lexa growled seeing Echo move towards the man, “He’s mine.”

The man smiled at her before running towards her swinging his sword, but Lexa blocked it. By any standards this would be an unfair fight, the man was incredibly huge and had more strength, but fighting was something Lexa not only trained in but studied. There was more to fighting then learning how to use a sword, you also had to learn body language how to read it and how to use it against your enemy. Already Lexa could tell he was an aggressive fighter, he used his appearance and strength to intimidate most likely to distract from the fact that he wasn’t a good fighter. Therefore when he struck his sword Lexa dodged it seeing his arms tire which gave a her an angle so the time he struck she used all of her strength to knock his sword from his tired hands and buried her own weapon into his heart killing him.

Once he was down, they move through the halls Lexa anger rising each time she saw something that was the same and not molded and old like she wanted. Finally, they reached a pack of men and they wasted no time getting to the fight. She took out two of the easily as the other made their kills. Lexa could see they lost a warrior which added to the anger.

“Yu gonplei ste odon.” Lexa whispered to her dead warrior before continuing her course down the hall. The house wasn’t huge, but it was a lot of ground to cover so Lexa split them off into groups, Echo would lead one while she led the other.

They still had to upstairs to cover but they needed to clear downstairs first so Lexa made her way through the halls before stopping. She heard struggling around the corner from them thinking it may be Echo’s team she turned it quietly seeing a man struggling against someone and when she saw a flash of blonde, she knew exactly who. Her sword acted before she could even think decapitating the man’s head and freeing the blonde who turned around looking utterly lost.

“That was gross.” Clarke murmured looking at the disfigured body that was just strangling her, “I totally had it by the way.”

“You could just say thank you.” Lexa said trying to fight her smile, but the girl was just too cute even covered in blood,

“Thank you, commander.” She winked, “Anya should have the front of the house secured.”

“Ok, I’ll check the rest of this side if you finish out the back then we’ll go upstairs together.” Lexa hadn’t even considered what Anya would think of this place. Like Lexa Anya lost a lot here if not everything, Nia didn’t only hurt her she hurt many others with her actions here.

“Yes Heda.” Clarke smiled before taking her warriors and following Lexa’s orders

The rest of the house was clear as far as the first floor went, so she made her way to the stairs when she heard a scream. Her feet moved faster than they ever have stepping over dead warriors mostly Azgeda until she reached the room.

She paused at the door pushing down everything that was being forced out of her, her emotion every memory, everything. She took a deep breath before entering the room seeing the face that has haunted her dreams since she was ten.

When she walked in, she saw four warriors three of them holding knives to Echo, Clarke and another girl she didn’t recognize but assumed it to be Ontari’s sister.

“Lexa!” Nia smiled, “I’m so glad you decided to join us.” The guard that wasn’t holding a knife to anyone moved towards her, but Lexa simply grabbed one of her knife throwing it at him landing directly in his eye.

“That was unnecessary.” Nia sighed boredly,

“Let her go.” Lexa growled not taking her eyes off the cold woman who was sitting in a throne, this was the only room that was different than she remembered it still had a small window and the walls were still plain beside the drawn on Azgeda symbol but nothing else was the same.

“Do you like what I did with the place?” Nia asked as if she was reading the girls mind, “I kept everything the same, but this room needed a little update. Franklin was good at many things interior design not so much.”

“DON’T.” Lexa yelled, “You don’t get to say his name, let her go now!”

“You know Lexa it’s quite a shame what happened here, I think your father’s vision could’ve really worked.” She smiled, “Safe haven for all who needed it, too bad about the fire it was a nasty one.”

Lexa wouldn’t here this, she moved towards Clarke seeing the mans grip get tighter and the knife drawing a small drop of blood from her neck.

“Go any closer and she dies, you know it’s a shame I really wanted Costia here for this. Wanheda and the commander’s ex love dying in the same place your worthless father did that is vengeance.”

“You haven’t seen vengeance.” Lexa snarled at the woman; she knew she had guards patrolling downstairs, but she couldn’t risk calling for them when the woman she- not while Clarke’s life was still in danger. “Let her go, now!”

“WHY DO YOU THINK YOU GET TO MAKE DECSIONS HERE?” Nia yelled losing her cool for the first time. “You’re not in charge here ‘Heda’ and since you decided to turn one of my spies against me, I’ll add torture to the long list of things I plan to do you and Wanheda. I plan to have a lot of fun with you two.”

Clarke was quiet during the whole exchange seeing Lexa seething at the woman’s words and she felt helpless. She let her eyes drift from the queen to the man holding Echo, there was a small red dot on his forehead. Clarke looked to the window seeing and hearing the glass shatter before three loud boom sounds filled the room. When she felt the knife fall from her throat, she grabbed it quickly throwing it at Nia’s hand as she reached for her own sword. Clarke ran over to the woman taking the knife from her bleeding hand and kicking the woman’s knees willing her to the ground as she held the knife to her throat.

“We’re not really into threesomes but thanks for the offer.” Clarke snarked before looking around the room, the guards were dead and echo and Ontari were embracing in the corner while Lexa was wondering what the hell just happened.

“Might want to invest in some curtains next time.” A voice said from the radio that still clung to Clarke’s belt loop. She smiled recognizing Bellamy’s voice.

“Sniper.” Clarke said hoping that would answer Lexa’s question, she nodded understanding before turning her attention to Nia who was being held on her knees by Clarke and the knife.

“You’ll pay not only for what you did today but what did then to.” Lexa said looking right into the viper’s eyes,

“Maybe she should pay now.” Clarke smiled pressing the knife against the woman’s throat, “Can I kill her?”

“No Clarke.”

“Please!” Clarke begged getting an eye roll from Lexa,

“I can assure you her fate will be far worst than death.” Lexa smiled,

“Promise?” Clarke asked,

“Of course.” Lexa smirked,

“Fine.” Clarke said letting up on the woman’s neck, “You’re lucky.” She whispered to Nia before grabbing her by the hair and hitting her head on the throne knocking her out cold. “What?”

“Was that necessary?” Lexa asked and the girl shrugged,

“Let me have me fun.” She looked over at Echo was for the first time ever looked relieved, “All good?”

“All good.” She nodded leading her sister downstairs leaving Lexa, Clarke and the unconscious queen on the ground.

“We won.” Clarke smiled wrapping her hands around the brunette’s waist,

“We did but don’t think I’m not mad at you for running up here on your own.”

“Echo screamed my name and I promised to protect her, I’m sorry for worrying you though.” She said pulling Lexa closer,

“You’re very honorable Clarke of the sky people.” Lexa smiled, “It’s one of the many things I like about you.”

“Ooh, you’ll have to tell me the rest of these things you like.” The blonde smirked,

“I will, but first we get out of here.”

* * *

All in all, Lexa didn’t lose many warriors and the ones she did lose died a noble death fighting for their people and will be remembered for as much. Skaikru had arrived with he reinforcements which she was happy about since Bellamy pretty much saved them all with his gun.

Their dead were transported back to Polis in the Rovers as well as Queen Nia who was accompanied by Indra who she trusted with the task. The rest of them walked, they hadn’t brought any horses, but the walk wasn’t far, and all needed the time to clear their minds.

An hour into the walk Lexa looked over to Clarke who hadn’t left her side the whole walk. She knew the blonde had questions and finally she was prepared to give her the answers.

“Wonkru Safe Haven.” She said getting the blondes attention, “It’s the name of the place we were at, for many years the land was empty. Never colonized on it just sat there. For decades all the clans were at war, there was no coalition or alliances just years of anarchy. Finally, after some years some of the clans decided to form a truce mostly the clans that border the waters, it made for good trading and provided them with supplies, and they weren’t losing more people from the war. Time passed and more clans grew tired of the constant fighting which prompted more people to want to form a truce but the one clan that thrived off of chaos didn’t want that.”

“Azgeda.” Clarke said and Lexa nodded,

“Nia didn’t want peace she wanted power, she wanted to rule over all of the clans and the way she chose to do that was through fear. So, the wars continued, and Nia began conquering the weaker clans. Those who escaped fled to other clans but were refused but my nomon allowed people to seek refuge in TonDC. I was about eight at this point and I remember our village overflowing with people but my nomon refused to turn people away even when our supplies were running low. As I’ve said the tunnels their lead to TonDC and one day during a hunt my nontu and Anya’s parents discovered them and followed them to the land that would soon become The Wonkru Safe Haven.”

Clarke had never heard Lexa or Anya discuss they’re absent parents, she knew Elena raised Anya since she was young, but she never asked questions. She also never asked about Lexa’s father, so she was shocked to here her mention him.

“When my father returned home that night he spoke with my mother about the lands and how they could build a refuge for people trying to escape the war. My nomon immediately loved the idea and they started building within the next few days. The refugees helped with the building and a year later the safe haven was built. My nontu had built a house to house many people and that connected to the tunnels so the refugees could travel to the camp without going through other clans. Being eight or nine I thought it was the greatest thing ever playing in the tunnels and helping build homes for people and seeing my parents face when they saw how happy everyone was. I was proud of them and for a year the haven thrived accepting more people and helping others who were passing through. I spent most of my time there until I was ten and moved to Polis to train with the Natblida’s. I missed my parents and the haven when I was away, but I was allowed to visit, and I always looked forward to it.”

Clarke could tell this was the end of the happy bits of the story,

“You don’t have to tell me Lex, only when you’re ready.”

“I am I just, it’s hard.” She sighed, “During my break from Polis I stayed in the haven with my parents who were there to build more homes because it was becoming crowded and they needed more space. During one of the nights something happened that woke me from my sleep. It was pitch black outside, but I could see glowing orange and smoke out of the small window that was in the room. I ran downstairs in a huff wondering what was happening that’s when I felt my nomon grab me. She told me they were being attacked and that I needed to grab Anya and go to the tunnels and wait for her and nontu, so I did. I did what she told me even though every inch of my body wanted me to go and help them, but I didn’t. So, me and Anya waited and waited for what felt hours until finally we both decided we needed to go back. Everything- all that we had built was ash except one house and there were bodies scattered everywhere some burnt some not. I remember feeling my stomach tighten because I couldn’t find my parents in the small group of people who were left but then Anya screamed and I saw my nomon and she fine but- in her hands was a body and her cries were deep and loud and I saw Anya towered over two bodies crying but I was numb and I couldn’t move. All I could do was stand there and watch as she held the body of my nontu, I’ve never felt so powerless but finally I could move and I sat next to my nomon and I grabbed her hand and we sat there and sat there until it was day light and my nomon said we had to take his body home and give him a proper ceremony so we did. It wasn’t until later I learned the extent of the attack, apparently Nia wasn’t happy that my parents started the refuge and she wanted to ruin. She killed my nontu and her warriors killed almost everyone in the village and sat it on fire destroying everything. For years I assumed the attack was just that, because Nia didn’t like that people were escaping her grasp but that wasn’t it at all.”

“When I was seventeen and I won my conclave my nomon traveled to Polis for my ascension and that’s when she told me the truth. She told me that me my nontu was born Azgeda and fought in the wars and during one of them he met her, and they fell in love. When that war ended, he had to go back to Azgeda, but he promised her he would return. And when he went back, he decided he wanted to leave his clan live in my nomon’s village. Before he left, he was approached by an ex-lover who begged him to stay, she was in love with him, but he didn’t love her and when he left it broke woman’s heart. For years, her broken heart stewed into something more sinister and hateful leaving nothing but the want for revenge. So, over the years the woman married but not for love solely for and heir and when her father died, she was given the crown to her clan.”

“Wait, Nia is the woman?” Clarke asked wholly shocked,

“Yes, during my nontu youth he was a royal guard it’s how he met Nia and although he never loved her she loved him and didn’t take his leaving for my mother very well.” Lexa answered, “So for years she waited for the perfect opportunity to get her revenge on him and when she heard of the haven she finally could. When she killed him, she told my nomon that she would get to live but only because living with the fact that her love was dead was more painful than a knife. I hadn’t been back to the haven since that night and no one rebuilt it and when I became commander, I banned the lands from being lived on or even passed through, but Nia clearly had no regard for that.”

“I’m so sorry Lexa, I can’t believe someone as evil as Nia even exist in real life.” Clarke grabbed the girl hand, “Now I really wished I had killed her.”

“Like I said, a fate worse than death awaits her and finally I feel like a part of my life has been closed for good.” Relief, that’s what she felt knowing a piece of land and a vile woman no longer had any power over her. She was free.

“I’m glad you could have closure; I’m sure you father would be proud of you and I know Elena will be.” 

“I couldn’t have done without you.” She smiled, since Clarke arrived in her life, she achieved so many things she never thought she could. Taking down the mountain, achieving peace and bringing down Nia, without the blonde there wouldn’t have been an opportunity and for that she was forever grateful.

“You would’ve done it without me.”

“I’m glad I got to do it with you.”

“Me too.”

* * *

Their arrival in Polis was greeted with a beautiful sunrise and cheers from all the citizens who had been waiting. The rovers were sent a head so there was no doubt the word spread of what transpired a few hours prior. People were ecstatic to hear of Nia’s demise and Lexa was happy to announce it.

She held meetings with her ambassadors all morning deciding Azgeda’s fate but that couldn’t be done in a day. Instead Lexa opted to send warriors to their territory to contain until they could deal with it.

Her next objective was making Skaikru a part of the coalition and as Anya told her before it didn’t take much persuading mostly thanks to Clarke. Her people loved Wanheda some even feared her, so they were more than happy to welcome her clan into their alliance. Lexa was happy about that and once she dealt with Azgeda she would finally have the peace she’s craved for years.

Once all of her meeting was concluded Lexa went up to her room to changed and see Clarke off on her trip to Arkadia. As much as she didn’t want the woman to leave, she had to share her which sucked but she was coming back which made it better. She could survive a few days without out the girl…. Right?

A knock at the door drew her from her thoughts, she quickly put her shirt on before yelling enter and to her surprise it was Costia.

“Hey, I’m leaving I wanted to say bye.” She smiled entering the room,

“Already?” Lexa asked, “I didn’t know you meant you were leaving right away.”

“Well now that my life is no longer in danger, I thought why not plus Wells one of the Skaikru volunteered to give me a ride home in his automobile. I’m mostly excited for that.”

“It does seem very intriguing, that is very nice of him.”

“It is, apparently he is dating one of the girls from my village, so he doesn’t mind the detour.”

“Well will I see you anytime soon?”

“I’m sure you will.” She smiled hugging the woman tightly, “I love you Lexa.”

“I love you too Cos, take care of yourself.”

“I will.” She smiled before walking to the door, “And Lexa, Clarke seems really good for you don’t let her get away.”

“I won’t.” she smiled watching the girl nod, “And Costia, I really hope you find your happiness again.”

“I will.” She repeated with a smile before leaving the room.

Lexa hoped her and Costia could still remain friends and still be in each other’s life, she knew it would take time, but she hoped it was still possible.

“Hi.”

Lexa jumped at the voice seeing the blonde standing In her room the same place Costia was a few minutes ago, she was dressed in cargo pants with a corset style top and Lexa could only admire her beauty.

“Sorry I knocked, and you didn’t answer, and I wanted to see you before I left.” Clarke explained waiting for Lexa to say something but all she did was stare, “I shouldn’t have just walked in-.”

“No, no it’s fine I’m sorry you just-” Lexa stopped laughing nervously, “I’m not very good at this, I’m trying to say you look very beautiful.”

“You’re flirting with me.” The blonde smirked moving closer to the woman

“I’m complimenting you, but flirting works.” She replied moving her hands to the blonde’s waist pulling her closer,

“Well I think you’re very good at it.” She smiled pecking the girl’s lips, “I’m going to mis you.”

“I’ll miss you too, but it’s just a few days, right?”

“Right, I’ll be back before you know it, soon you’ll get tired of me.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.” Lexa said honestly, she was excited to spend time with Clarke and know everything she could about her even the small stuff like her favorite animal. “But I do want as much time with you as I can have before the summit.”

In two weeks’, time Polis would be hosting a summit to welcome Skaikru into the coalition. Most of the sky people will travel to Polis and a huge feast will be held afterwards, Lexa was excited as were the citizens.

“I promise I’ll be back way before the summit.” Clarke said, “Now I would really like to give you a proper goodbye kiss, Raven’s waiting for me and I don’t need her sass about taking my time.”

“Fine, I guess I can let you go.” Lexa pouted before pulling the girl in for a kiss, it was long and sweet and maybe the best one they’ve had yet and when they pulled away it felt way too soon.

“Walk me out?”

Lexa nodded taking the girls hand as they walked through the halls of the tower, ignoring the looks from especially from Titus as they walked passed the throne room, she knew she would be hearing of it later, but she didn’t care. She was tired of her role as leader getting in the way of the things, she wanted, and she wanted Clarke. She wanted to hold her hand and kiss her whenever she wanted without her subjects having a fit. Being Heda is everything to her but she had a feeling the blonde next to her would soon become everything to her too.

“You’re not coming?” Clarke asked Anya who was standing by the rover seemingly saying goodbye to Raven who didn’t look very happy.

“I’ll be there in a couple of days.” She answered before turning back to Raven, “I promise, you really think I would miss movie night?” she smiled, “It’s finally my turn to choose!”

“Yay for you.” Raven said flatly rolling her eyes,

“Don’t be bitchy, give me a kiss and cheer up I’ll be there in two days I promise I never break my promises to you.”

“I know.” The girl sighed, “I don’t like being apart.”

“Me either but I’ll be back-…”

Clarke watched the exchange with a smile, she loved Anya and Raven separately but especially as a couple. They were amazing together and she was glad Raven found someone to tame he.

“Don’t miss me too much.” Clarke smirked turning to Lexa who was also watching their friends exchange,

“I can’t make any promises.”

“I’ll radio you every day until I return.”

“I’ll look forward to it.” She smiled, giving the girl one last kiss before escorting her to the rover where she took her seat next to Raven. Bellamy was driving and even he seemed to be saying goodbye to someone, Echo.

“Bye commander.”

“Bye Skai girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment comment comment! i'm so excited for all the Clexa shit your going to get from now on!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> ps this chapter kicked my asss!!!!!!! love you for reading!


	19. The Legend of Wanheda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skaikru joins the coalition but only if Clarke agrees to one term that is non-negotiable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! i have to say i'm living for writing this story! Some of you are heartless and wanted me to kill poor Costia!! i love it but no Costia lives and she will find her happiness, i mean it's what we all deserves after all. 
> 
> sorry for all mistakes i suck:) stay tunned for my rant in the end notes!!!!!!!!

Two weeks, that’s how long it’s been since Clarke left Polis with the promise to be back in a few days but clearly that didn’t happen. The first week she was stuck in the clinic helping her mother, apparently a sickness had broken out in Arkadia, so she stayed to help. It wasn’t anything serious just people with colds and potentially something she called the flu but after a few days they got it under control. Then the next week she was out doing bounty hunter jobs and barely had time to radio.

Lexa missed her like crazy but thankfully the suffering ends today, it was the day of the summit and she assured the brunette she would be back in Polis with the rest of Skaikru. The summit was a lot to plan mostly because Lexa wanted it to be big, she wanted it to be a true celebration maybe even the best one they’ve ever had. She even tried incorporating some Skaikru traditions like their horrible alcohol and foods Clarke told her about. Now that they were joining her alliance, she wanted them to feel as welcome as possible. She had hoped Clarke would be here to help her in deciding how best to include Skaikru culture, but she wasn’t, so she tried her best.

It was a few hours until the summit and Lexa was in her throne room awaiting Skaikru’s arrival. According to Anya they would be here soon, and she was beyond excited.

“Heda, they’ve arrived.” Gustus announced,

“Thank you Gustus.” She nodded waiting for him to leave before going over to her small mirror and checking herself over. Her braids were perfect and her skin was clean of any face paint, when she was satisfied with her appearance she made her way outside.

A huge crowd had formed outside as the sky people walked towards the tower; Lexa was greeted by Kane along with Clarkes parents but there was no Clarke.

“Commander, thank you for having us.” Kane bowed,

“It is my pleasure.” Lexa smiled allowing her eyes to wonder over the huge crowd of Skaikru in front of her finally she saw Raven and Anya making their way to the front. “My guards will escort you to the Inn, it is sort of a … motel if you will, the summit will begin in a few hours until then feel free to explore.”

“Thank you.” Kane smiled before ushering everyone to follow him and Lexa had her eyes on the two girls approaching her and by their faces told her everything, Clarke wasn’t here.

“Ok let me explain.” Raven said approaching her, “She’s on the way a job ran a little later than she thought but she’ll be here.”

“She even had us bring this.” Anya said holding up something Lexa didn’t recognize, “It’s a projector we watch movies on it, Raven’s going to set it up.”

She smiled slightly at the thought of watching a movie with Clarke like they planned but she did wish the blonde was the one to gift her the machine in person.

“Did she say when she would be here?” Lexa asked, in her mind she felt that it didn’t even matter she had already failed to show up numerous times when she said she would. It made Lexa wonder if Clarke was reliable, that if she needed her here would she come?

“Soon, don’t worry she has some help.” Raven smiled

* * *

“Remind me to never volunteer to help you again.” Octavia yelled, over the running water she was currently standing under

“This one might make me retire.” Clarke replied, currently they were washing up after her latest bounty ran them into what can only be described as a swamp. Luckily, he wasn’t as smart as he thought because right after that he ran into a cougar’s den which sent him running scared right into Clarke’s arms,

He was wanted in a village close to Polis which made it easier since she was already running late. She promised Lexa she would arrive with the other and once again she broke it because of a job. Since she was already late, they washed up quickly in a nearby waterfall before journeying to Polis.

When they arrived, they went to Octavia and Lincolns where the girl was letting her borrow clothes. She changed as quickly as she could before running to the tower where the woman she’s been waiting to see is.

Polis was packed like she’s never seen, and people were setting up for the nights event. This feast she was actually excited for since she would get to enjoy it hopefully by Lexa’s side. She imagined this night for the past two weeks, Lexa showing her different foods and exploring the post together, she just hoped Lexa wouldn’t be too upset with her.

The guards at the door let her in and she roamed to the throne room hoping that’s where she could find the girl. Octavia’s clothes were tight and so not her style and she wanted nothing more than to go to the post to find something else but more than anything she just wanted to see Lexa.

* * *

“Heda I must ask you to reconsider.”

“There is nothing to reconsider Titus, Clarke is my guest she will stay here with me.” Lexa replied, for the last two weeks she’s had to hear about how a relationship with Clarke would be her undoing and love is weakness blah, blah, blah.

There was a time when she believed that to be true, that his teachings helped but it took meeting Clarke to know it wasn’t helping at all.

“Frankly, Titus it is none of your business, you can go.”

The man sighed but listen bowing before exiting the room finally, today she wasn’t dealing with this. Today would be a good day even though Clarke had still not arrived she tried to remain positive luckily being Heda keeps her very busy.

“Anya to see you Heda.” Gustus announced before the girl entered the room giving her a look that she ignored,

“Titus?” she asked knowingly, “Let me guess he doesn’t like Clarke.”

“Titus doesn’t like anyone.” Lexa smiled, “Where is Raven?”

“Setting up your projector, I thought I would come see if your alright. You looked extremely unhappy when Clarke didn’t show up with us.”

Lexa sighed leaning back on her throne, were her feelings really that transparent? She would have to work on that god forbid the commander show any sort of emotion.

“I’m fine, she has just made promises she can’t keep.” Lexa said trying not to sound bitter but also trying not to be emotional because it’s not something she is completely comfortable with, “I just miss her is all.”

“She misses you too, I’m sure when she gets here everything will be fine.”

“If she gets here.” She mutters,

“She will.” Anya insisted, “Have you mentioned to her what has to happen tonight?”

“No.” truthfully Lexa had been avoiding it, she wanted her time on the radio with Clarke to be lighthearted and nice. She didn’t want to talk politics or about the summit she just wanted to talk about them so that’s what they did.

“Well, when do you plan to? The summit is in a few hours.” Anya said,

“I know and when she gets here, we will discuss it, do you think she will refuse?” Lexa asked playing with her hands anxiously,

“Not if you explain to her the situation, despite her unwillingness Clarke is a natural born leader she’ll do what’s right.”

“But this is a lot to ask.”

“It is.” Anya nodded, “Just discuss it with her.”

The topic made Lexa’s hands sweat, she had been avoiding it, but she couldn’t anymore.

“Have you decided what to do with Azgeda?” Anya asked,

“No, the ambassadors want me to dissolve the monarchy completely and merge Azgeda with the other clans.”

“And you don’t want that?”

“I wouldn’t mind dissolving the monarchy but taking away a person’s clan is taking a part of them and I would never ask that of any of my people. We are all one people but within our clans we have a bond to take that from them would be cruel.”

“Then what will you do?”

“I’m not sure, there is always the option to try and find King Roan.”

“But no one has seen him in years.”

“I know.” Lexa sighed, “Finding him could very well be impossible.”

“Not if you know a very skilled and very badass bounty hunter/mercenary.” Clarke smiled walking in the room not even noticing Anya just the beautiful green-eyed girl sitting on her throne.

“Bounty hunter/mercenary?” Anya asked,

“It’s called self-acceptance Anh, and I’m still thinking of a good title.”

Lexa couldn’t help but stare as the blonde made her way towards her throne, she noticed the girl got a hair cut since they last saw each other nothing drastic but noticeable. She also noticed the girl looked kind of wet? Like she just had a bath which was weird, but she didn’t care the blonde was finally here and they still had a few hours to be alone.

“Why do you look so…. Disheveled?” Anya asked,

“I fell into a swamp Anya and I had to wear Octavia’s hideous tight clothes now if you’re done with the questionnaire, I’d really like a moment alone with the commander.” Clarke said taking her eyes off of Lexa for the first time to look at the girl,

“Very well.” She smiled before leaving the room leaving the two woman to stare at each other,

Neither of them said anything, Clarke not knowing what to say or if Lexa was upset and Lexa because there was so much, she did want to say she just had no clue where to start.

After another minute of staring Lexa finally stood from her throne and walked closer to the girl.

“Come, I’ll run you a bath.” Lexa held out her hand, Clarke taking it hesitantly not sure how to respond so instead she let herself be led up to Lexa quarters where the woman ran her a bath.

She learned on her last visit that the grounders had running water which surprised her but that was the extent of their modern technology if you will.

As Lexa ran the bath Clarke sat on the bed awkwardly waiting not sure what she should do, a common theme for their reunion it seems.

The water stopped and Lexa reappeared guiding her to the bathroom where the huge tub awaited. She was greeted with amazing scents of citrus and lavender oils that relaxed her instantly.

When she felt hands on her back and her jacket being pulled off, she decided she needed to speak up,

“You’re upset with me.” She whispered enjoying the feeling of Lexa’s hands grazing her body, “I’m really sorry I tried to be here, and I wanted to more than anything, and- I’m just sorry.”

“I know.” Lexa replied still removing the girls clothing, peppering soft kisses along her upper back,

“I missed you.” Clarke didn’t fully understand what was happening, but she wasn’t opposed to it what’s so ever,

“Me too.” The brunette whispered kissing way her to the girl’s neck and making her way to her front kissing down her chest, finally traveling her way to the girl’s lips, “So much.” She sighed into the kiss finally feeling some sort of relief after two full weeks of dreaming of this.

The blonde leaned into the kiss eagerly her hands wrapping around the girl’s waist until the brunette pulled away, unbuttoning her pants so Clarke could step out of them leaving her fully naked. Seeing the way Lexa’s eyes raked over body did amazing things to her and she hoped this would go the way she thinks they both want it to.

“Get in.”

“Come with me.” Clarke didn’t wait for and answer instead going to take the girls shirt off throwing it to the floor along with the rest of her clothes until she was fully unclothed.

Clarke got in moaning at the feeling of the warmth as the water covered every inch of her body. After a minute she felt warm hands washing her with a cloth,

“This is amazing.” Clarke turned to face the brunette who was staring at her with loving eyes, “Thank you for doing this.”

“Of course.” Lexa replied taking the cloth and running it over her chest and down her breasts, “That is what you do for your partner after they’ve had a long day.” She smiled moving closer toke she could see was stunned at her words, “You help them relax, so sit back and relax.” Her hands moved over the blonde’s wet body practically pinning her to one side of the tub. Lexa explored every inch of the woman’s body leaving bruises down her neck as if she was marking her territory.

“Wait.” Clarke breathed feeling Lexa’s hands parting her thighs and as much as she wanted this, she also didn’t want to distract the woman up just incase she had any commander related duties to fulfill, “I don’t want to hold you up or get you in trouble if you’re meant to be anywhere.”

“I’m meant to be here.” Lexa smiled pecking the girl’s lips, “Plus Clarke I thought I told you I’m in charge around here.”

* * *

Neither of them were sure just how long they were in the bath for but when they finally managed to leave both girls wanted nothing more than to just lay in bed together. They still needed to get dressed but right now enjoying each other’s company was their number one priority.

“You called me your partner.” Clarke said breaking their silence as she laid in the woman’s arms,

“Is that ok?” Lexa asked insecurely wondering if she overstepped,

“It is.” Clarke said quickly, “We just haven’t had the time to really discuss what we are but being your partner sounds perfect.”

“I think so too.” The brunette smiled kissing the girl’s forehead, time was running out and she knew she needed to discuss the summit, but everything was so perfect right now.

“What’s wrong?” Clarke shifted turning so she could face the woman, “You think loud to you know.”

“I need to talk to you about something relating to the summit.”

“Ok.” Clarke said sitting up using the sheet to cover herself. “Did my people do something wrong already?”

“No, it’s nothing like that.” Lexa said sitting up as well, “As you know my ambassadors and pretty much all of clans have a lot of respect for you. Wanheda is not a title easily given and I know you may think it simply just means commander of death but it’s more than that. There have been very few people given the title and the ones who have were heroes to their people much like you, but the title also hold a lot of weight among the clans.” Lexa sighed, “In saying that the ambassadors also feel that the citizens may see you as my superior or may think you are a risk to the succession of the commandership.”

“Well, that’s ridiculous surly you told them I’m not a threat to you.”

“I did but my ambassadors tend to be very stubborn.”

“So then what I am supposed to do?” Clarke asked staring at the brunette,

“As a show of respect and togetherness if you will they would like you to bow to me at the summit.”

“Bow to you?”

Lexa knew this may not be something Clarke was ok with and she respected that, although a simple action it still held a lot of significance.

“Yes, as a show of respect.” She repeated,

“They want me to submit to you.” Clarke sighed, getting out of the bed. She wasn’t upset just confused,

“No, they just want to be sure you are not a threat.” Lexa said following the girl who was wrapping herself in a towel.

“Do they know we’re together?”

“Well, no but-.”

“They want me to bow to you in front of all of our people to show I won’t be a threat.” Clarke interrupted, “What happens if I don’t?”

“Then some ambassadors may choose not to back Skaikru joining the coalition.”

Lexa knew she should’ve talked about this with the girl sooner because now she’s ruined it. Their reunion is spoiled by this and that’s the last thing she wanted.

“You don’t think I’m a threat to you, do you?” the blonde asked quietly not sure what to make of all of this.

“Of course, not Clarke.” Lexa rushed to the girl’s side grabbing her hands, “It’s just a reassurance for them not for me.”

“Fine.” She replied barley above a whisper, “I should probably get dressed.” Clarke sighed at the realization that she didn’t have any clothes,

“Raven delivered this for you.” Lexa walked over to her table retrieving a bag handing it to the blonde.

“Thank you.” She smiled slightly before going into the bathroom to change, mostly just needing a second to process. In hinds sight bowing to Lexa didn’t seem like such a big deal and in a sense, it wasn’t, all the citizens bow to her, but this was different. They were together, they were partners and now she had to kneel to her individually as a show of submission, that’s what it felt like at least.

Once she was dressed, she re-entered the room where Lexa was fully dressed as well,

“I need to see my parents; I’d love to reintroduce you.” She smiled, “As my partner.”

“I would love that.” Lexa grinned, it warmed her heart that Clarke wanted her parents to know about them, “Perhaps at the feast? I have to get ready for the summit.”

“Of course.”

“There is a dress I had made for you; it will be in your old room whenever you get ready.”

“You didn’t have to do that Lex.”

“I wanted to.” She smiled, “I know what I’m asking of you is a lot but are we... ok?” Lexa asked hesitantly,

“Yes.” Clarke nodded, “We’re ok I’m just processing is all, I will see you at the summit.” She gave the girl a small peck before leaving the room and heading for the Inn.

It was true, they were ok, but millions of thoughts were filling the girls head and she needed air. The inn wasn’t but a few minutes’ walk from the tower and when she arrived, she saw her parents sitting hand in hand outside laughing about something.

Love isn’t something Clarke had much experience with, romantic love that is but seeing her parents and how they love each other always gave her some hope that maybe love is something she will get to enjoy one day. Maybe love isn’t like the movies where it’s perfect and flawless but instead it’s messy and unpredictable two things Clarke has never liked much. But as time goes by, she’s realizing maybe those two things aren’t so bad when the person you love is worth it and maybe it’s too soon to love Lexa but if anything, she knows her feelings are strong, stronger than she knew how to explain and maybe that’s why bowing to her seems so conflicting. Will this act make their relationship unbalanced, will Clarke feel lesser than or was this just for political reasons and it won’t effect their personal relationship?

“Clarke?”

She looked up seeing her parents looking at her confused,

“We said your name a couple of times, are you ok honey?” Abby asked worryingly, motioning for the girl to join them

“Fine just tired.” Clarke replied smiling as she took a seat with them, she hadn’t seen them much the past week,

“Difficult job?” Jake asked,

“Thought you guys didn’t want to know about my work.” Clarke said, Abby and Jake didn’t quite approve of their daughter’s lifestyle. They didn’t shame her for it they just felt she could be doing something better like in art or even finishing her medical training, but she didn’t want that. Bounty hunting was something she enjoyed, it was fun and unexpected, no jobs were the same and it kept her on her toes. 

“Just trying to ask about your life.” Jake said throwing his hands up in surrender, “Besides work how is everything?”

“Fine, everyone excited for the summit?” Clarke asked trying to change the subject,

“Yes actually, the commander has been very generous, and Polis is quite the place.”

“Speaking of the commander.” Abby smiled, “Raven says you two are together.”

“Raven should learn to keep her mouth shut.”

“You didn’t want us to know?” Jake asked,

“No, it’s not that I just would’ve liked to tell you myself, me and Lexa are together it’s all new and we’re figuring it out.”

“So that means Costia and her ended things, aren’t you afraid it’s too soon for her to be in a relationship?” Abby asked,

“Not before you just mentioned it no.” She was so happy to finally get to be with Lexa she never thought about it being to soon, was it? Were they rushing things?

“Look Abby.” Jake pointed to Clarke’s face, it was somewhere between scared and anxious, “You’ve filled her head with doubts.”

“It was just a question; I’m sure Lexa is competent enough to determine when she is ready and if she wants to be with you then that’s great!” Abby smiled hoping that would help, “We’d love to meet her, is she allowed to talk to us?”

“Of course, mom.” Clarke laughed, “She actually mentioned all of us spending some time together at the feast.”

“That sounds great.” Jake said,

“I can’t wait to get to know her, if she’s anything like Anya I’m sure we will love her.”

“She’s better than Anya.” Clarke joked, “They’re both great and close friends so they share a lot of similarities, you’ll see later.”

“Can’t wait.” Abby smiled,

“I have to go get ready I just wanted to see you guys before the summit.” Clarke got up from her seat hugging her parents wondering if she should mention that she has to bow to Lexa, but they’d find out in an hour or so anyways.

-When she arrived back to her old suite in the tower a few woman were there who were apparently sent to help her get ready. She didn’t ask any questions she just sat down and let herself be worked on. First was the hair, the braids were intricate definitely not something she could replicate but were incredibly beautiful. Next came the makeup, on the Ark they didn’t have much makeup with the exception of some homemade lip balms and eyeshadows. The grounders on the other hand had those things as well as eyeliners and different face paints which is what Clarke was currently getting. The design wasn’t like Lexa’s it was more complex, and the paint was a navy color. When they were finished Clarke could barely believe it was her in the reflection, her hair was flawless and the design that decorated her face was very badass aka very on brand for her. It made her think how amazing Lexa would no doubt look.

“Your dress is in the washroom Wanheda.”

“Ok, thank you.” She smiled, “All of you it looks great.”

Clarke could tell the women were probably scared of her which is something she was used to at this point. Most of the grounders saw her as Wanheda the mountain slayer not simply just Clarke Griffin and they never will.

When went to the bathroom she saw a gorgeous charcoal grey floor length gown hanging on the door. The middle was adorned with a corset and it had thick spaghetti straps, very much Clarkes style.

As she put it on, she couldn’t help but smile because Lexa picked this which meant the girl knew her style and knows what she would like. Once the dress was on, she looked over herself one more time before returning to the bedroom where to her surprise Anya was waiting.

“What do you think?” Clarke said twirling around,

“I think this is the most clothes I’ve seen you in before.” She smiled, “You look great.”

“Thanks.” She said sighing as she sat on the bed.

“I’m guessing she told you.” Anya said joining her,

“You knew?” she asked turning her head towards the girl, “Of course you did.”

“I didn’t know until a few days ago and I haven’t exactly seen you much this week plus it’s something you and Lexa should discuss not me.”

“What do you think about it?”

“Honestly, I think the ambassadors are branwoda’s who feel like they need control over every aspect of Lexa’s coalition.” She says, “We all bow to Lexa, she’s our commander and it really is a show of loyalty and respect.”

“Then why does it feel like more?” Clarke asks,

“Because you lo-.” She paused, “Because you are in a relationship with her, tell me why you are hesitant.”

“I’m not hesitant.” She sighed, “If I don’t do it SkaiKru is fucked and once again it feels like I don’t have a choice when it comes to making decisions. On the Ark I didn’t have a choice, At mount weather I didn’t have a choice, with Nia I had no choice and now I still don’t. Lexa is my girlfriend and I’m expected to walk into that room where no one knows we’re together and bow to her to show essentially, I’m under her control. I guess what I’m realizing is this relationship will never be fifty, fifty she will always be above me and I can never be her equal.”

“That is true, politically you will never be her equal but in your personal life and behind closed doors it will always be fifty, fifty. There will be no Heda and Wanheda just Clarke and Lexa, what you need to figure out now is if that is something you can be ok with.”

Clarke nodded; she didn’t know what to say she wanted Lexa, so she had to be ok with this. She is the leader of her people and that won’t stop because they’re together, duty comes first, and she also has to be ok with that.

“You’re sort of my best friend you know.” Clarke smiled turning to the girl,

“Don’t tell Raven she’ll throw a fit.”

“Raven is my sister, you’re my best friend.” She corrected, “You’re the first friend I’ve made in years and I don’t think I could’ve survived the ground without you.”

“That is true.” Anya said smirking, “I knew you would make my life more interesting Skai girl and you definitely don’t disappoint.”

“Never do.” She winked, “When I get down there what’s going to happen?”

“The guards will open the door you’ll walk up to Lexa and kneel pledging your loyalty to her and the coalition.”

“Easy enough I guess.” She sighed, “It’s now or never.”

Nerves, that is all she could feel as she walked downstairs, why the hell was she so nervous for? It’s just kneeling it’s not that serious, it’s nothing to stress over it’ll be fine.

When they arrived at the door, she felt a warm hand in hers that calmed her down thankfully,

“Relax.” Anya whispered to her, “I have to go in there, are you ok?”

“I’m fine.” She nodded, “Go.”

Ok, calm down Clarke you got this all you have to do is this one thing it doesn’t mean Lexa is above you or outranks you in anyway, you’re doing this for your people. Right?

When the doors opened Clarke could feel all the oxygen leave her lungs, the room was packed full of Skaikru and grounders who were all looking at her. The confused faces didn’t ease her and when she looked ahead seeing her green-eyed gorgeous girlfriend in an amazing floor length black and red gown, she could only feel one thing. Love.

Her palms were sweaty as she walked, and she was sure she would trip and fall in this dress, but she didn’t. The closer she got the more she could see Lexa and once again she was breathless, the way the girl was looking at her was indescribable and for a second this felt like something it wasn’t, it felt like a wedding. From Anya walking her to the door to the dresses and the looks of intensity it felt like a fucking wedding and as scary as that was Clarke wasn’t scared.

The fact that she was having all of these feelings didn’t scare her because from the beginning her and Lexa seemed so quick. Everything fit into place and once they could be together it was all or nothing and that should scare her. It should scare her that she couldn’t imagine being alive without the brunette by her side and it should scare her that her feelings were stronger than any emotion she’s ever felt but when she reached the end of the aisle and Lexa’s face was in full few, she wasn’t scared at all.

She could feel the intensity in the room, and she wondered if anyone else could or if it was just her, and maybe it was. Or maybe they didn’t understand because they didn’t see them as partners and Clarke had to remind herself that right now, they weren’t. She was Wanheda so she pulled in a breath quietly before falling to her knees and bowing her head.

Her mind drowned out whatever was being said and once it stopped, she got up and walked over to her parents who were standing with Kane. She knew they had questions but that would have to wait, right now she needed to figure out how to get hands to stop shaking. It was a nervous tick, one she’s always had and hated but normally she could control it, today not so much.

Quietly everyone watched as Kane took the brand of the coalition, his skin steamed, and the smell was terrible. In all honestly, she was surprised he didn’t cry, Kane has never been the strongest person, but a brand is painful surprisingly he kept it together.

Her hands were still shaking, and she could hear Lexa talking but she wasn’t listening, she needed to get out of this room she needed air.

“Clarke.”

The blonde looked up noticing Ravens hands in hers,

“Breathe.”

“I can’t.” she murmured feeling hot tears sting her eyes,

Raven looked around noticing Lexa staring and she could tell she was worried; Raven had seen Clarke like this plenty of times. Clarke is strong but even she has her moments, when she’s too stressed or scared or worried she starts to panic. First, it’s her breathing then it her hands after that it’s a full-blown panic attack but she hadn’t had one of those in a while and Raven wanted to keep it that way. So, when Lexa finished her speech and called for the feast, she got Clarke out of there as quickly as possible.

Once they finally got outside, she could see Clarke calming down a bit, she had no clue what set the girl off but if she had to guess it was probably the extreme looks and both girls were exchanging minutes before.

“Listen to my voice.” Raven grabbed the girl’s shoulders forcing her to stop her pacing, “Breathe and count to ten.”

“Raven.”

“Do it.”

Clarke sighed and did as the girl told her,

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I- I’m fine I just it was stuffy in there and it was a lot.” Clarke sat on the ground not caring if she would get dirty or not, she hasn’t had a panic attack in a really long time and she wasn’t completely sure what set her off. The bowing or the intense looks or her obsessive overthinking, all of the above?

“Gave me wedding vibes honestly. “Raven said sitting next her,

“Ugh, so you felt it too?”

“It was very powerful; I mean Lexa was looking at you like you were a snack and she desperately wanted a bite.” She said smirking,

“God.” Clarke squealed putting her head in her hands, “She so was.”

“Don’t think you were any better.” She said nudging the blonde, “If you’re a snack Lexa was the whole damn meal plus dessert.”

“Do I even want to know what you two are talking about?” Abby asks from behind the girls,

“Just Clarkey’s heated exchange with her girlfriend.”

“Fuck off.” Clarke sighed,

“Language, is that how you talk with mama G around?” Raven gasped,

“You say worse.” Clarke pointed out, causing the girl to shrug

“Anyways I came to check on you.” Abby said, “What was all of that, the bowing and stuff.”

“As Wanheda I have to pledge my loyalty to the commander as a show of respect.” Clarke answers hoping they wouldn’t press on the subject, “Anyways we should get to the feast, I could really use a drink.”

“Drunk Clarke 2.0, can’t wait.” Raven snickered, “Which reminds me your birthdays in a few weeks I’m thinking huge party at Delinquents, it’ll be crazy and fun and wild three things you love.”

“I do love those things.” She smiled, “I’ll think about it.”

“I do hope you are coming to Arkadia on your birthday, me and your father barley see either of you anymore.” Abby added, “My babies are growing up.”

“We visit every week mom.” Clarke said,

“I wish it was every day.” Abby replies, “But I understand you two are busy with your own lives, at least let us have a dinner for you. All your friends at the ark it’ll be nice.”

“Sure, mom that’s fine.” Truthfully, Clarke hadn’t thought much about her birthday. Her time lately has been filled battle plans bounty hunting and trying to balance everything, but now that things have calmed down there would be more time to think.

* * *

The summit went off without a hitch and Lexa could tell the ambassadors were pleased with the outcome. The only thing she wasn’t sure of was Clarke, she could tell something was wrong with her and the way Raven rushed her out of there was alarming. Everything before that seemed fine, the looks were passionate and even if no one else in the room knew what was going on they did. This was more for them it wasn’t just a pledge; they were together, and she hope this wouldn’t make Clarke feel less than.

As soon as she dismissed for the feast, she ignored Titus’s pleas for her to greet the clan leaders and went to search for Clarke. She needed to make sure she was ok.

The square was already packed full of people drinking and dancing, which always pleased her to see. She loved giving her people an evening of escape, where there are no worries and that’s what feasts did.

After searching the square, she decided to look by the drinks and that where she found the blonde. It reminded her of the first feast in TonDC after Jaha’s demise, it was the moment she realized she liked Clarke and it scared her. She vowed to stay away form the girl but clearly that is not what happened. As much as she tried, she couldn’t stay away from Clarke and she didn’t want to not then and unquestionably not now.

She smiled seeing the girl pick up the same drink she gave her in TonDC, _Fayowoda_. Slowly she gathered herself before joining the girl at the drinks table.

“My personal favorite.” Lexa says causing the girl to look up to her,

“It’s a good choice.”

Lexa knew something was wrong and she wanted to know but she also couldn’t fully comfort the girl here among her people, no matter how much she wanted to. It’s one thing to hold hangs in the tower or a quick peck but her people expected something from her, and it wasn’t loving partner it was fearless leader.

“What’s wrong?” Lexa asks wanting to reach for the girl’s hand but stopped herself, “You left quite quickly, are you ok?”

“I’m fine it- I mean the room was stuffy and it was just a lot.” Clarke said, “I needed air.”

“I know that is not it.” Lexa says and Clarke sighed, “Can we at least talk about it privately tonight?”

Clarke nodded taking a huge gulp of her drink,

“You look amazing.” Clarke said trying to change the subject, “Breathtaking actually.”

“You look gorgeous as well Clarke.” She smiled moving closer to the girl, “I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Yeah.” Clarke mumbled taking another drink, pda for the commander was a major no-no, ‘Later.’

Before Lexa could reply two figures appeared behind the girls getting their attention.

“Commander.” Jake bowed, “It is very nice to see you again.”

“You as well Jake.” She smiled,

“I know we met briefly at the mountain but I’m Abby, Clarke and Raven’s mom.” Abby smiled holding out her hand which Lexa took giving it a firm shake,

“It’s nice to properly meet you Abby, I hope you both are enjoying Polis.”

“Very much so.” Abby beamed before listing off all the things she seen in Polis and Lexa listening eagerly.

Clarke couldn’t help but smile watching their exchange, she was glad they were getting along.

“There you are.” A voice said, Clarke and Lexa turning to see Elena. “Ah both of you!” she gave Lexa a bow before giving Clarke a big hug. After the mountain Clarke mostly stayed in TonDC with Anya which meant she saw a lot of Elena. At first it was hard because she reminded her so much of Lexa but then spending time with Elena became her way of feeling close to Lexa. And as she promised the woman did teach her how to garden which she quite enjoyed. Elena was an amazing woman and she liked Clarke a great deal.

“Nomon, this is Clarke’s parents Abby and Jake griffin.” Lexa said introducing them, “This is my mother Elena.”

“Oh! It’s so good to meet you both.” She smiled hugging the couple, “I’m so glad I get to meet the people who raised this amazing young lady.”

Clarke blushed at the compliment feeling Lexa’s eyes on her,

“Looks like my nomon might steal you for herself.” Lexa whispered watching her mom interact with the couple.

“She doesn’t stand a chance.” Clarke smirked,

“You two must dance.” Elena said interrupting the girls talk,

“Nomon-.”

“Don’t nomon me you dance all the time during the feast no one minds.”

That was true, Lexa had been known to dance during celebrations but mostly with kids and never with a romantic partner. She could already hear Titus and her other advisors’ angry words now.

“It’s fine Lexa.” Clarke said clearly seeing the turmoil on the girl’s face,

“We’re going to go have some food.” Jake says, “We will catch up with you later.”

Clarke nodded turning back to refill her cup, looking around her eyes landing on Luna who she hasn’t seen in few weeks.

“I’m going to go say hi to Luna.” Clarke said to Lexa before walking over to the girl,

Lexa watched as the two girls hugged and laughed about something and she wondered how the two even knew each other.

“They’re friends.” Elena says practically reading the girls thoughts,

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to.” She smiled, “Your face says it all yongon.”

“You and Clarke seem close.” Lexa says turning towards the older woman,

“Indeed, she spends a lot of time in TonDC and I’ve grown quite fond of her. She’s smart and funny and we garden together when she has time.”

“Clarke gardens?”

“I taught her.” She nodded, “She was very excited about it, I think she liked being around me because it was close to being around you. We formed a bond, and I couldn’t have been more excited when Anya told me you two were together! How is it going?”

“She has been gone for the past two weeks so we have not had much alone time together.” She answers with a sigh, “It does not help that I can’t hold her hand or kiss her or dance with her while we’re in public.”

“Clarke understands.”

“Even so, it is hard.” Lexa eyes the blonde who is now dancing with Luna, it was innocent nothing inappropriate, but it made Lexa resentful. Not at Luna, her and the girl were close friends, and she knew her intentions were pure. She felt resentment because she couldn’t do that, she couldn’t grab Clarke and dance and move with her to the loud music that filled the air.

“Being Heda is a huge burden, you give everything for us, and you’re expected to take nothing in return, but I think you should. You should allow yourself this one thing because you’ve given up so much already Lexa, don’t let Titus or any of them take this too.”

The song changed to a slower paced beat and Lexa watched as all the couples grabbed one another and started to sway in each other’s arms. She saw Clarke look at her briefly before looking back to the ground and watching the other couples.

Without thinking she walked over to the blonde who was now standing alone,

“Dance with me.” Lexa said catching the girl off guard,

“What?”

“Will you dance with me?” Lexa asks holding her hand out, “I want to be selfish and have this one moment with you without caring what our people will think, so please dance with me.”

Without another word Clarke took the girls hand letting her lead them to the dance floor. She felt the brunette’s strong hands on her waist pulling her close as they sway to the beat.

Clarke rested her head on the girl’s chest closing her eyes as Lexa hummed to the beat that was playing. Both could feel the eyes on them but neither cared, it was one dance they deserved that at least.

“I’m sorry.” Lexa whispered as they rocked together,

“Don’t be, I knew who you were before starting this with you.”

“Still.” Lexa sighed,

“How about we just allow ourselves to enjoy this moment.” Clarke looked up at the waiting green eyes, “Can we do that?”

“Yes.”

And so, they did, the swayed and rocked and enjoyed each-other’s arms until the very last note of the song played forcing them to pull apart. People were staring most were smiling and clapping but Lexa could see Titus and the other advisors faces as they sat on the stage and for once she didn’t care.

“Thank you for the dance Heda.” Clarke smiled giving a small nod,

“It was a pleasure Wanheda.”

The rest of the feast Lexa spent on her throne, her time was either spent talking with Clan leaders or greeting citizens who have bestowed her with gifts. Truthfully, she loved the gifts she would get, and she kept them all from necklaces to paintings she even has been given a horse at one point. Her citizens loved her and that made it worth being Heda, knowing she was doing something right.

Polis feasts were known to run late which was fine, but Lexa usually left quite early from them and tonight was no exception. Any other time she would be leaving out of boredom or tiredness but today she was eager to get to her chambers and have her alone time with Clarke. She wanted to talk to the girl especially about earlier, if anything she wanted to make sure she was ok.

She could see the blonde talking with Echo and Ontari and didn’t want to interrupted, she ordered one of her guards to inform the girl of her leaving before heading towards the tower. Construction was still being done on her home, so the tower was where she resided.

* * *

“So how is Polis treating you?” Clarke asks the girl; she hadn’t seen Echo since she left for Arkadia two weeks ago and she hoped she was adjusting fine.

“It has been good, Heda has been very generous giving us a home here.”

“How about you, I don’t think we properly met.” Clarke turns to Ontari, she didn’t look much like Echo, but she could see the similarities with the eyes and the nose everything else was completely different.

“Wanheda is good to meet you, big fan.” Ontari smiled,

“Ah you should join the fan club then.” Clarke joked,

“How do I do that?” Ontari asks seriously,

“What- no I was, it was a joke anyways is Polis treating you well?”

“Anything is better than Azgeda freezing cold, I mean freezing your ass off 24/7 is not fun. People are a little strange here they smile a lot but other than that it’s great.”

“I’ve noticed that too.” Clarke agrees, “I’m glad you guys are enjoying, and Echo I heard you and Bell boy are hitting it off.”

“Ugh it’s all she talks about.” Ontari groaned, “Bellamy did this, Bellamy did that, I mean kill me already.”

“I like you.” Clarke smirks at the girl, she reminded her of herself with a splash of Raven.

“Wanheda, Heda has asked me to inform you she has retired to her room for the evening.” A guard says to the blonde who nods,

“Thank you.”

“Speaking of the commander, that dance was a little intense.” Ontari said, “Now that’s a relationship I wouldn’t mind hearing about. The fearless powerful commander and Wanheda the mountain slayer.”

“Well too bad for you I don’t kiss and tell.” The blonde winked, “See you tomorrow ladies.”

The whole walk into the tower Clarke could feel her hands starting to shake again because she knew it meant her and Lexa would have to talk, and she didn’t know how to explain. But she knew she needed to try because if she didn’t it would be a bad start to their relationship, and she didn’t want that.

She arrived at the huge wooden doors quicker than she’d like to giving the door a knock before hearing enter.

When she walked in, she could see Lexa in a robe undoing the last of her braids letting her unruly curls flow down her back.

“You don’t have to knock Clarke.” Lexa smiled at the girl, “This is your room now too unless you prefer staying in your other room in that case I understand.”

“No, I want to be here with you.”

“I want that too.” She smiled grabbing the girl’s hand, “I’ve been wanting to kiss you since the moment those doors opened, and I saw you walking towards me. I couldn’t believe you were mine and I still can’t believe.”

“I can’t believe you’re mine either, I- I never thought I would get this chance but I’m glad I did.”

Lexa leaned forward connecting their lips in a soft gentle kiss before the brunette pulled back,

“Me too.”

“I’m going to get ready for bed.” Clarke said before heading for the bathroom.

She washed her face getting the blue paint off before undoing her braids leaving a wavy mess on her head. She took off the dress putting a short lingerie style sleep dress she found at the post in a village she was passing by. It was cute and she thought Lexa would love it, it was a silk green color and reminded her of the girls’ eyes.

Before entering the room, she did one last look in the mirror fixing her hair and taking a deep breath. Lexa was waiting on the edge of the bed her robe gone leaving her in a short lacey night gown that stopped just above her knees.

Clarke was once again speechless at how utterly beautiful the woman in front of her was.

“I want to talk about today.” Lexa said standing from the bed and walking to the girl, “When I asked if we were ok before you left earlier was that the truth?”

“Yes.” Clarke answers quickly, “We are ok I just, this whole bowing to you thing got to my head and I was feeling inadequate I guess.”

“Why didn’t you stay and talk to me about it?”

“Because in the end it didn’t matter, I would’ve still bowed to because I didn’t have a choice. I had to do it for Skaikru to enter the coalition and so I did but in doing it I let myself overthink which led to me panicking.”

“Panicking about what?” Lexa asks reaching for the girl’s hand for comfort,

“About feeling like our relationship would never be equal that bowing to you felt like a submission. That the whole time I was walking down that aisle I was thinking about much I care about you and how strong my feelings for you truly are and then my brain would go back to the political part. I know being commander comes first and I respect that, I know this is your duty and I’ll never stand in the way of it, it’s just an adjustment. I know you feel it to, whenever I want to grab your hand or give you a kiss, but we can’t. I guess what I’m trying to say is I was panicking because I was feeling so many things and I didn’t know how to handle it and sometimes panicking is all I can bring myself to do but Raven calmed me down and I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be the one to calm you down.” Lexa sighed, “I know this isn’t a typical relationship, but I am always going to try and make it as normal as possible.”

“I know Lex.”

“As for rest you are my equal Clarke there will never be anything other than half and half. I don’t hold any power over you and vice versa, you bowed to Heda, the leader of the coalition and the twelve clans not Lexa. And I know you are in a relationship with me and I am both of those people, but it doesn’t all run together. There will be no more politics with us, just me and you.” Lexa says to the blonde before letting her hand go and dropping to her knees hearing a quiet gasp form the girl, “I swear fealty to you Clarke kom Skaikru I vow to treat your needs as my own and your feelings as my feelings.”

Clarke had no words seeing the commander drop to her knees just as she did hours before. Heda bows to no one but for her Lexa did and she knew how much that meant.

She held out her hand feeling the girl take it as she stands, and Clarke presses their lips together. Both girls moaning into the kiss and moving to the bed where Clarke presses the commander against the soft furs. The look of passion and yearning in her eyes as Clarke removed her gown only made her want the girl more.

Lexa had this hold over her and she loved it, with just one look she could have her weak at the knees. She removed Lexa’s gown admiring the woman’s body as she straddles her leaving soft kisses down the girl’s neck. She could feel her own excitement practically dripping down her thighs, but she wanted to enjoy this moment. She wanted to memorize the way Lexa’s body looked under her and how her greens eyes were fixated on her body. She wanted to freeze this moment and enjoy it forever and if she was lucky she would get to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i just wanted to clear something up, Costia was never a villian in my story. She jealous rightfully so and she went through a lot being tortured for a year. I don't condone cheating but if i could change anything it would be for me to make it clear that her headspace wasn't right she was locked away for a year praying to be with Lexa and when it finally happened it wasn't what she expected. Lexa was trying to figure her own feelings out and in turn neglected Costia out of guilt which didn't help. She needed comfort and after being tortured for a year and seeing her love wanting someone else she was hurt and lonely and she made a mistake. Costia was not a scapegoat and her cheating wasn't either, her and Lexa were always going to breakup seeing the affect of her actions gave Lexa the push she needed to do so. Hope that explains where i'm coming from! more chapter soon i'm currently trying to find a new job and getting College shit together so yay for me! love you for reading.
> 
> also let me know if you guys want more of the other characters! i love Ranya they are here to stay who else would you like to see more of!


	20. This Ship Is Not Sinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa run into a problem in their relationship  
> Kane's annoying  
> Clarke breaks a heart,  
> Octavia makes a friend  
> Lexa shows someone the amazing view from her balcony  
> And Anya is a mind reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter but i wanted to get something up because it's been a few days since my last update!

“I don’t understand.” Lexa says quietly, “The piece of wood looks like it is quite big, why wouldn’t they both lie on it?”

“The age-old question.” Clarke giggled; they were currently locked away in Lexa’s room watching Titanic on the projector Raven set up for them. Lexa didn’t have any meetings and Clarke promised her a movie date so why not a four hour one, right.

“You say this actually happened?” Lexa asked,

“The Titanic sinking yes, Jack and Rose probably not.” Clarke remembered learning about the boat on the Ark. She always found history interesting especially when they all thought they were the last of the human race. There was something about knowing their own history would most likely live and die on the Ark. But now that isn’t exactly true since they are back on the ground.

“Interesting.” Lexa mumbled fully enthralled by the movie, usually Clarke was annoyed by people asking questions during movies, but Lexa was so cute and the way her brows wrinkled every time something happened was too adorable. 

The movie neared its end and Clarke was going suggest watching another when there was a knock on the door.

“Heda.” They both recognized the voice, Titus.

Clarke had never officially met the man, but Elena and Anya told her some things like how he is very much against Lexa having any romantic relationships. It didn’t bother her though mostly because it didn’t seem to bother Lexa much either.

Clarke paused the movie allowing Lexa to get up from the comfortable position they had been laying in for most of the day. Lexa gave her a look to apologize but Clarke smiled nodding for her to answer the door. When it was opened, she could see the bald man didn’t look to happy.

“Yes Titus.” Lexa said trying to sound too annoyed with the man,

“Heda, the ambassadors have called a meeting. I know you asked to cancel all your meetings today, but they wish to discuss Azgeda most importantly Queen Nia’s fate.”

“Very well, tell them to come to the throne room in an hour.” Lexa said and he man nodded, throwing Clarke a quick look before leaving.

When the door was closed Clarke sat up and gave Lexa a look,

“What?” she asked,

“You told me you didn’t have any meetings today.” Clarke replied, “Not that you cancelled them.”

“Well, I did not have any meetings because I cancelled them.” She smiled joining the girl on the bed,

“Lexa, he already hates me and now your canceling things for me won’t make it better.”

“The meetings weren’t important, just trade agreements and other stuff that can be handled tomorrow and don’t worry about Titus.”

“Still Lexa.” She sighed,

“I just wanted one day with you, you have been gone for two weeks and I’ve missed you.” Lexa said quietly staring down at the covers, being with Clarke was easy but being emotional and wearing her heart on her sleeve was still new to her.

“I missed you too.” Clarke smiled, “But I don’t want you to let me get in the way of your duties, I can entertain myself until you return.”

Lexa nodded before climbing back into her spot in Clarkes arms,

“I have an hour and I’d really like to finish this movie; I must know what Rose does after being saved.”

Clarke chuckled before pressing play and wrapping her arms around the girl and finishing the movie. Lexa wasn’t too happy with ending claiming Rose was a bit selfish not letting Jack on the door with her so he could live but other than that her first movie experience was good.

The blonde watched silently as Lexa changed into her commander clothes as Clarke called them. She had no clue what she would do while the girls was gone, draw perhaps or go see her parents while they were still in Polis.

“Before I go there is something, I wanted to discuss with you.” Lexa said sitting on the edge of the bed, “Each clan in the coalition gets to choose an ambassador to represent them, they are provided with a home in polis and I was hoping you would take that role for Skaikru.”

Clarke wasn’t oblivious, she knew she had good leadership skills, she knew if she woke up and decided she wanted to be Chancellor people would back her because they’ve seen what she can do. They know that she can get shit done and lead well but being a leader is not what she wants. Her whole life she spent it doing what she was supposed to or what was expected and when she needed to, she took the initiative to lead because she wanted to save her family, but everyone is safe and now. Now she just wanted to do whatever she wanted, she wanted to live however she chose because for the first time in twenty years of being alive, she can.

“Lexa, I don’t want that.” Clarke said finally trying to read the woman’s expression, “I don’t want any official role honestly, but I can talk with Kane maybe suggest some people.”

“Very well.” Lexa replied before standing from the bed and walking towards the door,

“I’ll see you later?” Clarke said quickly before the girl could leave, she didn’t understand why she would be upset, or if she was even upset.

“Yes.” Lexa smiled before exiting, leaving the blonde in the big room all alone.

Clarke just sighed; she couldn’t let herself think too much about it. If Lexa was upset, they would talk about it later when she returned. For now, Clarke decided she would get some air, maybe go see Kane about choosing an ambassador.

She changed into her cute leather pants and typical cropped shirt before combing through her messy waves with her hands and heading out the door. Winter was coming and soon she wouldn’t get to wear her cute, cropped shirts but she was excited to see things like snow for the first time.

Polis was busy as usual; the sun would be setting soon which made her realize just how long her and Lexa had been hiding away in the comfort of her room. It was nice and what they both needed after two weeks of not seeing each other.

“Look who it is!” Raven smirked seeing the girl walk towards them, “Finally leaving your little love shack, what did you wear the poor commander out?”

“She’s in a meeting.” Clarke replied rolling her eyes, “Anyways maybe I just wanted to see my best friend?”

“Aw!” Raven cooed,

“That’s why I walked over here, because I noticed Anya was here.” She smirked,

“Rude.” Raven murmured, while secretly loving the friendship between her girlfriend and bestie.

“You look like somethings wrong.” Anya said to the blonde who shrugged,

“I’m fine.”

“Liar, I can read you pretty well.”

“Apparently you can’t because I’m fine.” Clarke replied,

“Ok.” Anya shrugged while still eyeing the blonde,

“You guys are being annoying.” Clarke huffed before walking towards the Inn where her parents hopefully were hearing a faint ‘What the hell did I do?’ from Raven,

Nothing was wrong she was absolutely positively fine; everything was great, and life was good so Anya can stop assuming she knows it all because everything was fine.

When she reached the Inn, she saw Kane sitting with a woman she recognized from the ark but didn’t know her name. As she approached, she could see Kane looking at her, they hadn’t talked much at all since Mount Weather and Clarke was fine with that. As long as he was doing what needed to be done, they had no problems.

“Kane.”

“Clarke.” He nodded,

“Do you have a minute?” she asked seeing the worry on his face, “Calm down Kane it’s nothing bad.”

“Very well.” He got up from his seat before turning to the woman he had been talking to, “Give me a minute.”

The pair walked to an empty area before Clarke started to speak,

“The commander wanted me to inform you that you need to pick an ambassador to stay here in Polis. They’ll be provided a home and be cared for it’s up to you who to choose.”

“Oh, and why are you telling me this?” He asked and Clarke had to resist rolling her eyes, “Why wouldn’t she come to me, the chancellor?”

“Oh, fuck off Kane, a power trip is the last thing I’m in the mood for I told I would step back after mount weather and I did so chill out. The only reason I’m here is because she asked me to fill the position, but I don’t want it.”

“Why would she ask you instead of coming to me first?” Kane pressed, “If I’m supposed to pick someone I should not her.”

“Ok let me explain something to you, and I’ll even use small words.” Clarke mocked, “You are not in charge here, you just entered a coalition which states that Lexa is the one and only leader over the clans. Your role as chancellor is take care of our lands and make sure Skaikru can thrive and contribute to the alliance. Which means Lexa doesn’t have to come to you for anything if she wants someone specific to fill Skaikru’s role as ambassador than she will, no one needs your permission Kane, especially her. You make it so hard to like you I swear.” Clarke huffed before walking away from the man, a part of her wished they would hold an election and find a new chancellor because Kane could be insufferable. Sure, he was a decent person, definitely better than Jaha but there was no doubt in her mind that there is someone better for the role and maybe one day her people will see that.

It was getting late, but Clarke wasn’t ready to go back to the tour, so she decided to visit her friends. Since becoming a Mercenary/bounty hunter she hasn’t had much down time so seeing them would be nice. None of them were at the Inn so the only other place she thought to look was Octavia’s and she wasn’t disappointed.

The house was alive and filled with people most of them were her close friends, other were kids from the Ark who she knew but wasn’t close with and even some grounders as well. It looked like a house party straight from the movie screen, there was dancing and alcohol and laughing, all in all it looked like a good time.

When she entered, she was greeted by Lincoln who explained they decided to have a few friends over which turned into a rager, he didn’t say rager but that’s what it was.

“Clarke, did think you would make it.” Octavia said handing her a cup filled with god knows what,

“I wasn’t invited.” She replied smelling the cup before taking a sip, _vodka definitely vodka_

“Well Raven said you were playing Rapunzel shacked up in the tower, so I thought you’d be busy.” She smirked,

“Yeah, well even Rapunzel left her tower eventually, who are all these people?”

“Truthfully, I don’t know.” Octavia answered, “Obviously I only know a hand full of people from the ark, so I assume Finn, Wells, Raven and Bell are responsible for the Arkers present. The grounders on the other hand are Lincoln friends, they’re all nice though.”

“Are you making new friends?” Clarke asked,

“I’m… trying.” She shrugged, “A lot of Lincolns friends have welcomed me with open arms and training I meet a lot of people but it’s all a lot. A year ago, I was hiding in the floor only knowing my mom, my brother and you and Raven so being around all these people and trying to be out going enough to make friends is hard.”

“I know it’s overwhelming but for you have a lot of amazing qualities people would love to have in a friend. Like your hilarious for starters, I mean seriously your one of the funniest people I know! You’re smart and beautiful and you’re an amazing warrior and you were all of those things before we got here O. Don’t be scared of letting people see who you are.”

“You’re right it’s just intimidating right now.” Octavia sighed,

Clarke understood the girl’s hardship, she spent her whole like literally in the dark and at 17 she finally got to finally start living.

As she continued talking to the younger girl, she got a flash of Ontari who looked very annoyed. Granted she was sitting next to a very happy Echo and Bellamy so she could understand the girl’s annoyance.

Ontari and Octavia were the same age and from what Echo told her for the most part Ontari spent most of her life being hid too which gave her an idea.

“Hey Ontari!” she yelled getting the girls attention who smiled and waved before walking over,

“Wan- I mean Clarke.” She said correcting herself as Clarke glared at her,

“You look miserable, so I thought I’d save you.”

“Being around those two is insufferable, it’s like what I’d imagine hell to be.” She groaned,

“I agree.” Octavia chimed in, “All Bellamy talks about is Echo this Echo that and no offense I know she’s your sister but if I hear him say her name one more, I might cut his tongue out.”

“I understand completely, those idiots need to get a room. One far away from here.”

The conversation between the pair flowed easily to Clarke’s delight, both girls needed a friend so why not each other. Silently she slipped away neither noticing which she wasn’t offended by at all. She took the opportunity to talk to some of her other friends.

Murphy was first, he was still the same old gloomy boy she knew and loved but now he was all in love and it was adorable. His girlfriend would be coming to Polis soon and she was excited the person who turned John Murphy into a softy.

Next on her friend’s tour was Wells, her oldest friend beside Raven and the one she’s known the longest. She was glad to see him doing well and even he has found love too, her name was Ira and that about all Clarke knew but he was happy and that’s all she cared about.

Finn wasn’t someone she felt she needed to catch up with seeing as he was barley a friend, but he stopped her, so she tried to have a conversation with him. She remembered when Raven first introduced them, they were still dating at the time and Finn made some joke about space that made her instantly dislike him. It wasn’t funny in general seemed really childish, but Raven loved him, so she tolerated him. The more time she spent with him he was ok, still not very likable and it was hard to understand what Raven saw in him. Sure, he was decent looking, but he was weak and almost cried when he scraped his knee while they were working out. Raven said it was cute, but Clarke added it to the list of reason not to like him.

The last straw for Clarke was when he confessed that he had a crush on her, she knew Raven had been considering breaking up with him before his confession, but it still angered her. To even have the nerve to consider the idea of them being together when he was already dating way above him boggled her mind, but Raven asked her to let it go instead of kicking his ass, so she did. Anytime he was around she never said much and when he volunteered to come down with them, she considered floating him just get him to stop talking.

In hindsight all of that was pretty harsh but she didn’t care much, she wished Finn the best but a friendship between them would never work.

“So, you’re dating the commander now?” Finn asked, up until this point Clarke had been mindlessly sipping her drinking nodding at whatever the boy was saying but this question for whatever reason caught her off guard,

“What makes you say that?” Clarke asked, honestly, she didn’t really know if she could tell people her and Lexa were together. People knew about her and Costia so surly it wasn’t an issue, but she would discuss before telling anyone.

“You two seem pretty close and that dance last night seemed pretty intense.”

“I dance with many people.” Clarke shrugged, taking another sip from her cup.

“So, then you’re still single.” He smiled moving closer to the blonde, “That means you’ll consider giving me a chance.”

‘He isn’t doing this.’ Clarke thought to herself but when she noticed the boys flirty smile and constant nervous hair flip, she couldn’t help but audibly laugh.

“You’re joking.” Clarke said still laughing which confused Finn,

“Why would I be joking?” he asked seriously,

“Really Finn?” Clarke asks seeing the boy wasn’t budging,

“Raven’s moved on, so I figured you have no reason not be with me now.”

“Oh my god you’re actually doing this, ok Finn listen I don’t want to be with you and that wasn’t because you just broke up with Raven it was because I don’t like you.”

“But... but on the Ark, you would always flirt with me saying snarky comments and throwing me looks.”

“Finn I barley ever wanted to speak two sentences to you on the ark and if I was ‘throwing you a look’ it was most likely a glare because you said something idiotic and made my brain physically hurt.”

“This is embarrassing.” He sighed, “I knew I shouldn’t have listened to Murphy.”

“Murphy?” Clarke asked, this couldn’t be good.

“He said the insults and snarky comments were your way of flirting because you weren’t good at telling people how you feel, and since he’s known you longer, I figured he was right.”

Clarke wanted to laugh, that was typical Murphy, he didn’t like Finn much, so this stunt doesn’t surprise her at all, but she does feel a little bad for the boy.

“Look Finn, I’m sure you’re great and I know your at least a good guy if Raven loved you but I’m not the one you should be going after. In all honestly, I don’t like you much but I’m sure there is a girl out there who can appreciate your annoying jokes and emo 2000’s hair.”

“You don’t have to insult me Clarke I get it.” He mumbled,

“Right, but I meant what I said you seem like a good guy and this is a big world. You’ll find someone.”

With that Clarke walked away feeling uncomfortable trying to give him any sort of uplifting advice. Typically, she was good at it but with him she was failing hard so as they say stop while your ahead.

“There you are!” Raven exclaimed running into the girl, “Why is your face so red?”

“Could be from laughing but could also be from the sheer embarrassment of being hit on by your ex.”

“No!” Raven grinned,

“Yes!” Clarke laughed, she explained the whole situation and even Raven couldn’t help but laugh at Murphy’s antics, but she did feel bad for Finn, she would have to talk with him later. “Where’s your girlfriend, it’s rare no not see her hanging off your arm.”

“She’s meeting with Lexa about TonDc’s supplies something like that I don’t I just need entertainment until she returns.”

“Consider yourself entertained because I myself was looking for a bit of a distraction.” Clarke smirked,

* * *

“I understand the frustration many of you share but dissipating the monarchy will only do so much.” Lexa restated, “Stripping people of their clan is not something I would ask from any of you so why would I do the same for them?”

“Azgeda has caused nothing but strife and despair to all of us, they should be so lucky that the only thing we do is abolish their clan.” Torin seethed, he was from the desert clan and probably one of Lexa’s least favorite ambassadors.

Throughout her years as Heda she has always tried to give her people a say in her decisions, it was the main reason for forming the role of the ambassador. But over the years people like Torin mistake her giving them an option for giving them power. In the end every decision is her own, does it help to have the clans on her side of course, but it is not necessary. She refused to allow people to order her around and she refused to let anyone think they have any power over her.

“I will remind you Torin there was a time when all the clans did the same things Azgeda has done but I didn’t hold that against you all did I?” Lexa asked but didn’t expect an answer, “I formed this coalition for all of us, to end the fighting and to allow our children to see a world where fighting and misery isn’t all they know. That includes Azgeda, Queen Nia has been captured and soon we will know who was loyal and who was simply scared. One thing I know for sure is abolishing Azgeda as a clan is out of the question, I won’t ask them to give up their clan.”

Clearly her choice wasn’t well liked especially by Torin, but it didn’t have to be, even if they don’t understand now they will soon.

“I say you only care because your own father was from Azgeda.” Torin spat, “As Heda you are not supposed to let your personal feelings get in the way of leading.”

“I’d say you’re the one with personal feelings in the way Torin and as an ambassador for your clan you are asked to leave said feelings at the door.” Lexa replied coolly, 

“My feelings have nothing to do with this! You entertaining the thought of giving Azgeda anything is unseemly! Clearly we need a commander who can lead with her head!” He yelled causing most of the others to wince but not Lexa, she sat on her throne calm and collected.

“There’s no use arguing about this.” She said standing, “Please join me so we can discuss the matter privately.”

Torin didn’t reply he just stood from his seat and joined Lexa as she walked to her balcony. She looked down seeing the posts were clearing, which was good, she’d hate to ruin to many people’s day.

“Heda-.” He started but was quickly interrupted by Lexa’s boot piercing his chest and knocking him off the tower and to his death,

“Would anyone else like to question my decisions?” She asked turning back to the others and was given no reply, “Good, we will resume this discussion tomorrow morning.”

Lexa sat back on her throne watching as the others left until no one remained but Titus and her guards.

“Send for a new ambassador for the desert clan.” Lexa ordered to Indra who nodded,

“Sha Heda.” She bowed before exiting the room,

“Let me guess, you don’t approve.” Lexa said to Titus who still remained,

“No Heda, Torin was not the right choice for his clan that much is clear.”

“Then what is it?” Lexa knew it was something, Titus only hovered when he had an opinion to give or news to share.

“Some of the ambassadors have been discussing the possibility to find Prince Roan.” He said,

“He has been missing for years Titus, there is no way of knowing he is even alive.”

“There have been whispers since Nia was captured, sightings, people saying they seen him in their clan.” He explained,

“That could be lies, people trying to start gossip.” Lexa said dismissing the whole thing,

“It could be, but it could also be true Heda.”

“So, what would the ambassadors have me do?” Lexa asked,

“Seeing as there aren’t many trackers as skilled and renowned as Wanheda, the ambassadors think it would be wise to hire her to find the king.”

Of course, Lexa thought. Of course, this had something to do with Clarke, a ploy perhaps to get the blonde to leave Polis.

“No.” Lexa said standing from her throne, she wasn’t hearing this

“Heda-.”

“I said no Titus!” she yelled, “Clarke is not a pawn in whatever game you intend to play here.”

“This is about the coalition Heda, finding Roan could be the key to getting Azgeda into the coalition without dissolving the clan as a whole. Like you want.”

“Then hire someone else.”

“Wanheda is the best.” He pressed,

“Find someone better.”

“The ambassadors want her-.”

“I don’t care what they want Titus!”

“Even if you don’t approve it is well within their rights to hire her anyways.” Titus said causing Lexa to stop walking completely,

“You would go against me?”

“This is not about me Heda and believe it or not it is not about you and Clarke. This is about the wellbeing of all the clans.” Titus replied, “It is my job to inform you of things like this and I have, it is up to you how you handle it.” With that Titus left the throne room leaving Lexa to her thoughts.

As Heda she was more than capable of separating feelings from duty, she did it every day. She did it when she thought Costia was dead, she did it when her mom told her the truth about what Nia did to her father and she could do it now with Clarke.

She could, she just needed to digest everything.

If she gave herself the chance to fully think about it without ambassadors and Titus barking at her she could do it. But even after minutes of thinking and pacing it was the same conclusion, she didn’t want Clarke to do this.

“Heda?” A voice called getting her attention when she turned, she saw Anya staring at her,

“Yes?” she asked pulling herself together and her mask all the way on,

“Elena told me to come talk to you about- you know what that can wait what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Lexa.” She pushed, “Is this about Clarke, she looked like something was wrong too. What happened?”

“Clarke said something was wrong?” Lexa asked,

“No but I can read her like a book, perks of spending way too much time with her I guess.” She shrugged, “Did something happen before your meeting?”

“No, we watched a movie before Titus called me for the meeting. I did ask her to be the Skaikru ambassador, but she refused.” Lexa sighed, she really hope the girl would accept,

“Oh.” Anya said knowingly, “That it explains it.”

“What?” Lexa asked, since the feast to celebrate their win over mount weather Lexa couldn’t help but envy Anya and Clarkes relationship. The pair was close, and it annoyed her, it annoyed her how with one look Anya could see what was wrong with Clarke or how Anya was the first-person Clarke chose to come to when it came to Nia. She wanted that connection.

“Clarke is hell bent on being no where near any sort of role when it comes to politics.” Anya explained,

“I don’t understand why, she has natural leadership skills. She showed as much at the mountain.”

“I agree, but she doesn’t want it she should explain to you why.”

“So, you know.” Lexa said annoyed,

“It’s not that I know I just can assume why based on things she’s said in the past. Now tell me what is wrong with you? And don’t say nothing just like Clarke I can read you like a book too.” She smiled and Lexa rolled her eyes.

“My ambassadors are branwoda’s.” she said plainly.

“Ah yes, I saw them scraping poor Torin off the concrete on my way in.” Anya laughed,

“He deserved his fate, but the others they are conspiring quietly where as Torin openly expressed his thoughts.”

“Conspiring how?”

Lexa sighed, “They want to hire Clarke to find the Prince.”

“Oh.” Anya said trying to find an issue in the problem, “Well if you think she won’t accept I’m sure she will.”

“I know and that’s the problem.”

“Why are you against it?”

“There are many reasons for starters he could be dead, and this could be a wild goose chase that lead nowhere.”

“Clarke can take care of herself if she thinks she can find him she will. So why are you really against it?” Anya asked again this time getting a low growl from the younger girl, 

“She just got back Anya, I’ve had one day with her and already she could leave.” She murmured,

“That’s why you wanted her to be the ambassadors, so she would have to stay in Polis.”

“I know it’s selfish, but this is what I wanted for the last four months and already it’s slipping away.”

“Lexa, you need to talk to Clarke about this. Let her know how you feel because clearly it is something you’ve put a lot of thought into.”

“I will.” She replied, it was a problem for later but for now she had other problems to deal with, “What did the chief of TonDC send you here for?”

* * *

“I can’t believe you did that!” Raven laughed,

“I was bored.” Murphy shrugged,

The three of them were currently sitting out by the training grounds after having enough of the drunk teenagers overcrowding Lincolns house,

“It’s still mean Murph.” Clarke added trying to take up for Finn in some sense,

“My only regret is not being there when you rejected him.” He smiled, “I’m sure you tore him apart!”

“I wasn’t that bad.” She shrugged, she had thought about saying worse, so he got off easy,

“Clarke Griffin breaking hearts, nothing new. “Raven smirked,

“Who’s poor heart have you broken now Clarke?” Anya said joining them, Lexa was with her, but she didn’t sit she just stood and looked at Clarke,

“No one really.”

“Finn!” Raven answered, the girl was slightly buzzed

“The floppy haired boy?” Anya cringed,

“That’s the one.” Murphy laughed, “Clarke destroyed him,

“Ok that’s enough I didn’t destroy him you guys are dramatic.” Clarke said wiping the dirt off her pants before walking over to Lexa who hadn’t said a word since her and Anya arrived, “Hi.”

“I’m sorry my meeting was so long.”

“Don’t be.” She smiled, “These two kept me entertained for the mean time.”

“Don’t forget Finn too.” Raven yelled,

“Finn?” Lexa asked, wondering who this person was and why Clarke broke his heart apparently,

“Raven’s annoying ex who for some reason likes me but he knows I don’t feel the same.” She explained, “I was getting ready to head to bed.”

“We can go together.” Lexa nodded,

The walk was silent and when they reached the room each girl went their separate ways to change for bed. The silence was killing both of them, but they still said nothing. instead, they got into their night clothes.

Lexa was done before Clarke, so she sat on the bed and waited until the blonde appeared from the washroom.

“Anya says you are upset with me because I asked you to be the ambassador for Skaikru.” Lexa says bluntly, “Is that true?”

“Anya thinks she can read thoughts, and someone should really tell her that she can’t.” Clarke said rolling her eyes,

“But it’s true.”

Clarke sighed, “I’m not upset with you Lexa I just need you to understand that’s not something that I want.”

“I respect your decision I just don’t understand, you could be an amazing leader Clarke. Someone people can pour their hopes and dreams into.”

“Maybe but that will never be something I want.” Clarke reiterated, “For the first time ever I get to choose how I’m going to spend my day. There isn’t some planned out schedule where I have to got to class then eat lunch like on the Ark and live everyday doing the same things. Being on the ground has given me my freedom and I’m going to take it a do whatever I want with it.”

“And that’s bounty hunting?”

“For now, yes, I enjoy it and it takes me all over the place which is amazing.” Clarke smiled, “It makes me happy and I hope you can understand that this is how I want to live.”

Before Lexa could reply there was a knock at the door that she considered ignoring and was going to but after the fifth knock she finally opened it.

“What Titus?” she yelled, this was not the time and she was not in the mood.

“Sorry to bother you Heda but I came to inform you that a decisions has been made; the ambassadors have decided to hire Wanheda to find Prince Roan of Azgeda.”

Lexa knew what he was doing, she knew exactly what his intentions were because any other time this would be something, he could tell her in the morning, he wanted Clarke to hear.

“What is he talking about?” Clarke asked,

“I’ll deal with you later Titus.” She growled before closing the door,

“Lexa.”

“The ambassadors have decided to go against my orders and hire you to find Prince Roan.” She said not looking at the blonde instead choosing the ground

“What do you mean go against you?” Clarke asked,

“I don’t want you to do this Clarke, If it wasn’t clear.”

“You don’t have to patronize me, why is this up to a vote I don’t understand.”

“It’s not up to a vote, not really. “she sighed, “If they chose to hire you for any job, I can’t stop them, if you worked for me that would be different. It is the same as Luna hiring you to find a thief, I can’t control it they could say hiring you to find Roan is for their personal gain.”

“Were you going to tell me about this?” Clarke asked,

“I just learned of it before we came here to bed.”

“Why don’t you want me to take the job?”

“Is that a serious question?”

“Is it because you don’t think I can handle it, or because you think I’m not strong enough-.”

“Clarke, I don’t think either of those things!” Lexa said interrupting,

“Then why?”

“Because I don’t want you to leave!” she yelled catching Clarke off guard, “You just returned from a job and I just got you back. I want you to be here with me is that so bad?”

“No Lexa it’s not but instead of hiding that concern under offering me roles I don’t want and openly not wanting me to take jobs you could just talk to me!”

“I know.” She murmured,

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because you don’t seem to share my concerns Clarke.”

“Lexa, I don’t want to leave but I also have responsibilities, there are times where I will have to leave for a job or to see my parents, but I will always, always come back to you.” She grabbed the girl’s hand carefully intertwining their fingers, “I know it’s not the same, but I would never be upset with you if your role as Heda took you away from me for a short time. I understand that this is your job I’m just asking you to understand that this is mine can you do that?”

“Yes.” Lexa knew that was reasonable and she did respect Clarke career path she just wished it didn’t take her away from Polis, away from her.

“Let’s go to bed, we can talk more about it in the morning.” Clarke pulled her towards the bed moving the furs for her to get under before joining her on the other side. She placed her head on Lexa’s chest who gladly welcome her into her arms, “Everything will be fine Lexa.”

She wanted to ask how she was so sure, she wanted to say they didn’t know that, but she didn’t. The choice to enjoy her lover in her arms sounded better than thinking about all the ways everything could in fact not be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****We will learn more about grounder politics in the future.***
> 
> i can't wait for next chapter it's a fun one!! someone's birthday is coming up and we might get to see a different side to the commander than we have so far!


	21. Saskia and Natasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It Clarkes birthday and here's what you are in for: (in no particular order;) )  
> Clexa smut  
> Clexa fight  
> Raven being dramatic as usual  
> Delinquents  
> and as promised a very different side to Lexa or maybe it's not Lexa at all want to know what i'm talking about? Read and find out!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a long one hope you enjoy and i am so so so sorry for mistakes!!!!!! i suck;(

A few weeks had passed, and Clarke and Lexa were living happily together in Polis. There was still an unspoken tension mostly because Clarke hadn’t accepted or denied the job to find Roan yet. They hardly discussed it and Clarke avoided it all together. Truthfully, she didn’t know what to do, Lexa clearly didn’t want her to take it and she didn’t want to upset her, but this was also her job and she rarely turned jobs ever. Basically, she was stuck, and it didn’t help that she was leaving for Arkadia today, but she promised her parents she would come. She could tell that Lexa was sad about the visit, but she assured her it was only for two days which seemed to help.

Her and Raven would be leaving soon, and she was currently laying in bed with Lexa. 

“We need to discuss Roan.” Lexa said as she mindlessly played with blonde locks,

“I’d rather just lay here with you instead.”

“The ambassadors are getting antsy Clarke; you need to either accept or decline.” Lexa sighed,

“What would you have me do?” Clarke asked setting up on her elbows, waiting for an answer but one never came, “Let me ask you this, do you think it is remotely possible to find him? And don’t just say no because you don’t want me to take the job, I want your honest answer.”

“Truthfully, Clarke I don’t know.” Lexa answered,

“I don’t understand Roan and Nia’s relationship, why was he banished?”

“Love.” Lexa whispered,

“Love?”

“He fell in love with someone Nia didn’t approve of, when they planned to leave Azgeda together she killed the girl and banished him.”

“So why would they want him to be found?” Clarke asked, “What if he’s as bad as Nia, for what you said her evilness spurred from being burned by love?”

“Roan is nothing like Nia, that much is clear.”

“Then you know him?”

“We’ve met once, before his banishment he stopped an assassination attempt against me.”

“What?” Clarke said jumping up, “Someone tried to kill you?”

“Yes, it’s not an uncommon thing for commanders to be target especially when people don’t agree with certain choices I make.”

“Who was it?”

“I can’t be sure.” Lexa answered, “This was around the time I started to form the Coalition, so it could have been a number of people, if I had to guess I’d say the desert clan.”

“The desert clan has an issue with you?”

“The desert clan and Azgeda have much in common, both leaders do not like me, and both want control. The only difference is the desert people conceded when they knew they couldn’t win where as Azgeda refused any part of the coalition.”

“Maybe they should’ve joined forces then, you know common enemy.”

“The only thing the desert clan hates more than me is Azgeda.” Lexa explained, “Long ago they were one clan but after a disagreement in leadership part of their people split off deciding to colonize their own lands. The only problem was the only land left was the dead zone, so they became the desert clan and have hated Azgeda since.”

“How do you allow people who openly dislike you into your coalition?”

“Being Heda is not personal.” Lexa said, “My only concern since my ascension has been peace, not just for Trikru, for everyone. Since the bombs there has been nothing but death and chaos and fighting, don’t we deserve more than that?”

“Maybe we do.” Clarke whispered giving the girl a kiss, “I’m proud of you Lexa, you’re a visionary and even if I don’t want to be a leader, I want to help you achieve your dream. So, if finding Roan gets, you one step closer than I want to help.”

“Then you are accepting the job?”

“No, I’m going to vet the sources that say they’ve seen him and if there is some truth to it then I will accept.”

Lexa nodded not really knowing what to say,

“But I don’t want to do this without your approval, I know you are not my boss but you’re my girlfriend and I do want to start including you in my life choices. You don’t have to give me an answer now just think about it while I am in Arkadia.”

“Ok.” Lexa nodded, smiling slightly at Clarke calling them girlfriends. It reminded her of the first time she called her baby a few weeks ago. She had heard Anya and Raven using the term and asked Clarke about it. It was a term of endearment and when she called Lexa it for the first time, she couldn’t help but blush. 

“I have to go.” Clarke sighed, she didn’t really want to leave the comfort of Lexa’s arms, but she had to, “Hearing Raven bitch is not what I need today.”

“I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too baby.” Clarke smiled straddling the girl and giving her some kisses, “Two days.”

“It better be.”

“It will be promise.” With that she gave the girl one more kiss before getting off the bed and grabbing her stuff, she wasn’t taking much just her sword and a few weapons just in case. Also, a jacket because fall was finally setting in and it was getting cold.

Lexa also got off the bed watching the girl preparing to leave, noticeably she wanted her to stay but they’ve had three full weeks together so what is two days right?

“I’ll walk you down.”

Luckily, Bellamy was still in Polis with a Rover so they wouldn’t have to ride all the way back to Arkadia. Clarke didn’t mind but Raven always complained too much when they rode horses so that saved her from the headache. 

“One more thing before I go.” Clarke turned to the brunette, “Is it possible that you can choose Bellamy to be Skaikru’s ambassador? It will annoy Kane and he really got on my nerves a few weeks ago.”

“Don’t you think that is a little petty Clarke?” Lexa asked,

“Completely but Bellamy is also a great candidate, he’s diplomatic and head strong and enjoys time in Polis. You know Bell, he’s a perfect fit.”

“I like Bellamy.” Lexa agreed, “I will discuss it with him when he returns.”

“Yay, just make sure I’m there to see Kane’s face when you do it.” Clarke cheered, “And maybe you can insult him a little in the process.”

“I can’t just insult clan leaders because they got on your nerves Clarke.” Lexa chuckled,

“It’s just Kane.” She shrugged,

“Still not a good defense ai hodnes.” Lexa smiled,

“Fine, as long as he’s annoyed with you choosing Bellamy, I’ll feel some satisfaction.” Clarke pouted making Lexa laugh at her,

“What am I going to do with you Wanheda?”

“I know a few things you could do Heda.” The blonde smirked,

“Don’t make me throw up.” Raven gaged,

“Hello to you too.” Clarke said looking at the girl, “Ready?”

“Whenever you are.” Raven answered, “I’ll be in the Rover whenever you’re done being disgustingly cute.”

Clarke smiled watching her friend walk off leaving the two girls alone,

“She’s probably annoyed Anya isn’t coming.”

“Then you shouldn’t keep her waiting.” Lexa sighed, “Radio me when you arrive.”

“I will.” With one last kiss the blonde was off leaving Lexa to watch as the Rover drove away.

* * *

“So princess are you excited for your birthday?” Bellamy grinned from the driver’s seat.

“I guess.” She shrugged staring out the window watching the trees speed by,

“You’re going to be 21! I’ve already got people setting up Delinquents for your party tomorrow, it might be our biggest event yet.” Raven snickered, “I’m thinking project X realness.”

“I still can’t believe you didn’t tell Lexa it was your birthday.” Bellamy added, and Raven agreed,

“Yeah, why did you decide not to tell her?” Raven asked,

“I planned too.” Clarke huffed, “But the more time passed I didn’t and then you wanted to throw me a party and my parents wanted me to come to Arkadia for dinner and I didn’t want to put her in a position where she had to tell me she couldn’t come. I mean the commander of twelve clans can’t be out clubbing with her girlfriend or travel to a clan for a birthday dinner. So ultimately I decided there was no point.”

“You could’ve still given her the option.”

“So, she could tell me no? Plus, she’s busy in Polis dealing with the ambassadors and Azgeda.” Clarke replied.

What she said was true she didn’t think there was a point since she wouldn’t be able to come. And another part of her didn’t want her to be upset about that but talking to her was probably the better option. And even though all those things were true she knew there was more, a more complicated reason that she didn’t tell Lexa, but it didn’t matter now.

All of that aside maybe Clarke was a little more excited for her birthday than she led on. On the Ark her birthday usually consisted of movie night and dinner but on the ground the possibilities were endless, and she was actually having a party.

When Raven first proposed the idea of a party at her club, she wasn’t so sure, but she’s had a lot of fun nights at Delinquents and a fun night couldn’t hurt.

* * *

It had been hours since Clarke left and Lexa was keeping herself busy, first was training with the Natblida’s then meetings which actually went ok. The ambassadors weren’t too annoying and the new ambassador for the desert clan seemed decent, but she was still weary. You can never be too safe when it comes to shady clan members.

The sun was setting, and she still hadn’t heard from Clarke, but she assumed she was just speaking with her parents. Polis was quiet without the Skai people lingering luckily, she did have Anya keeping her company for the day at least.

“Is everything settled?”

“Yes, this should be everything. If anything is missing, I’m sure Elena will tell me.” Anya replied,

“That is true.” With TonDC still being rebuilt Lexa volunteered supplies to them that will hopefully speed up the process and help them through the next few weeks, “When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow, I’m going to drop this stuff off to Elena then head to Arkadia for Clarkes dinner.”

“Clarke’s dinner?” Lexa asked confused,

“Her parents are having a dinner for her birthday.” Anya says knowingly and also equally as confused, “You don’t know this?”

“I did not even know it was Clarke’s birthday.” The brunette murmured,

“Oh, I assumed you knew but just could not leave Polis.” Anya explained feeling bad and sad for Lexa, and also awkward about the whole situation.

“She never asked me.” Lexa felt terrible for many reasons, **one** she didn’t know it was Clarkes birthday, **two** she wasn’t invited to what seemed to be a celebration for her and **three** she didn’t understand why. Were they having issues? That couldn’t be because everything was fine when she left. Looking back it did seem strange that all of her friends were traveling to Arkadia too.

“Lexa are you there?” both girls turned to the crackling noise coming from the small radio that laid on the nearby table,

“What are you going to say?” Anya asked, but Lexa didn’t answer instead she picked up the small radio and walked into her private room.

“Lexa?”

“I’m here.” Lexa replied, “Did you arrive ok?”

“Yeah, Bellamy’s kind of a rough driver but we’ll blame on space.” She laughed, “How has your day been?”

“Fine.” She answered,

“Just fine? Are you missing me already?” Clarke teased,

“Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?” Lexa asked abruptly not wanting to continue on like this, she could act like she didn’t know or that she wasn’t hurt but she did know, and she was hurt. And from the long pause she could tell the blonde wasn’t expecting it.

“I- it wasn’t important.” Clarke said finally,

“It’s your birthday Clarke, if it wasn’t important you would not have traveled for it.” She defended,

“My parents asked me to Lexa, they wanted to have a dinner for me.”

“Ok then you didn’t want me there and that’s why you lied.”

“That’s not true!” Clarke exclaimed, “I know it seems that way but it’s not Lexa I promise.”

“Then explain to me why Clarke.”

“Fine.” She sighed tiredly, “Us being in a relationship is new territory ok and with your position I don’t really know what is appropriate and what isn’t. Even though we haven’t publicly stated we are together people still know and I know what they think especially Titus and the others. If I would’ve told you about my birthday you would’ve figured out a way to come and your people would not have been happy about it. I don’t want to be the reason more people find a reason to dislike you Lexa.”

“That is my choice Clarke, not telling me and finding out isn’t any better.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to hurt you I swear.”

“I believe you, but you did.”

“Lexa-.”

“I need to go; I have to finish for the day we can talk to tomorrow or when you return.” Before waiting for a reply Lexa turned the radio off Clarke could reply.

She needed to process, she needed to think about all of this because even if she understood Clarke’s concerns it didn’t make her feel better. Having the explanation actually made her feel worse.

Being Heda was her burden and that was something she accepted long ago and since she started seeing Clarke, she made it her personal mission not to let that come between them. She’s tried to voice her concerns about the girl leaving in hopes to talk it through, she tried to always make sure Clarke knew they could talk about anything. Most importantly she tried to make Clarke understand that when it came to their relationship, she didn’t care what Titus, or anyone thought because It wasn’t their concern.

As commander she has refused herself many things that wasn’t for the soul purpose of being Heda, for the past seven years she has put being Heda above all, and she will continue to do so but now she was going to be selfish and allow herself this one thing no matter what people thought. She just needed Clarke to understand that.

* * *

“Fuck.” Clarke groaned slamming the radio down nearly breaking it,

“What the hell?” Raven scoffed, picking up the device and checking it over, “Those don’t grow on trees I have to make them!”

“Sorry.” She murmured walking off to her room,

“What happened?” Raven called after her, but she ignored it, “Clarke.”

It wasn’t until they reached the small room that Clarke said anything,

“Lexa’s pissed at me because I didn’t tell her about my birthday.”

“Oh, how did she even find out?” Raven asked laying next to the girl in the twin bed,

“It doesn’t even matter, she did and now it seems like it was some big secret when I should’ve just told her and now, she’s upset because she thought I didn’t want her here and I’m so stupid!” Clarke groaned,

“You are.” Raven agreed,

“Not helping.”

“Just talk to her about it.”

“She hung up on me and turned the radio off.” Clarke wined,

“Damn, she is pissed then.”

“Just leave your making me feel worse.” Clarke groaned pushing the girl off the bed,

“I refuse to let you be sad on your birthday.”

“It’s not until tomorrow.”

“Still.”

“What if she breaks up with me?” Clarke asked seriously,

“She won’t Clarke, you guys just need to talk.”

“But what if she does?”

“She won’t Clarke!” Raven repeated, “She literally looks at you like you’re a god! This woman would probably fight an army for you so no I don’t think she is going to break up with you. Communication Clarke! First rule always you know that!”

“This is my first relationship.” She muttered in her defense,

“So, you lack common sense?” the girl asked quirking her brow,

“Maybe.”

“Cut the shit Clarke, take responsibility and fix it and once you fix it make sure your lack of communication doesn’t ruin it again.”

“Ugh, you’re right.”

“I know.” Raven smiled, “Now go to sleep, tomorrow’s a big day!”

* * *

After the call with Clarke, Lexa decided to call it an early night and go to bed. Over thinking wouldn’t make the situation any better so she tried to clear her mind and the best way she knew how was meditating

Meditating was something she learned in Nightblood training; it was taught as a way to unwind at the end of the day. For the most part Lexa abandoned the craft a few years into her commandership, but it was something she needed to reintroduce into her life because it did help her.

When meditating she finds that the place, she often focuses on is her home, well her home before Heda more specifically before her father died. Before TonDC became the epitome of a reminder to what she’s lost.

She thinks of her nontu’s voice and how calming it was and his laugh, which could bring a smile to anyone’s face. Next, she pictured his fair colored hair and eyes like the forest, same as her.

At the beginning of her commandership, she even tried to imagine what a conversation with him would be like, but she never could.

She hoped he was proud of her, she hoped he understood the choices she had to make and the people she had to kill to get where she is but even without conformation, she knew he did because he was a warrior. He knew the cost of war and he spent his adulthood trying to help people who were tired of fighting.

His vision was peace and Lexa vowed she would make that come to fruition and she will.

“I haven’t seen you do that in years.” Anya said interrupting the girl, “I knocked.”

“Usually when someone doesn’t answer they don’t want to be bothered.” Lexa replied, sitting up from her pose.

“I just came to check on you.”

“I’m fine.”

“I also came to convince you to come to Arkadia with me tomorrow.” Anya said,

“Any-.”

“Just here me out.” She interrupted an already annoyed Lexa, “TonDC is still undergoing construction and as Heda you are to see that it is being built at a generous pace and to your satisfaction. That being said all Titus and the others need to know is you’ll be in TonDC.”

“They will very easily hear I also traveled to Arkadia.” Lexa said plainly,

“Then tell them you decided to see Arkadia’s progress in building their lands up, the two are close together and you do need to speak with Kane about trade deals and the Skaikru ambassador. Which is also two very good reasons to go there besides the obvious.”

She was right and Lexa knew it but even if those excuses were enough to leave Polis, she still wasn’t sure she even should. Clarke didn’t ask her to come and if she really wanted her there, she would’ve. And then there is the possibility that maybe her parents don’t want her there. What if she didn’t make the best first impression at the summit? There were so many unknowns.

This was the over thinking she was trying to escape.

“I’ll consider it.”

* * *

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Raven screamed as she jumped on the blonde’s bed who wasn’t very happy with her antics.

“Kindly fuck off please.” Clarke groaned into her pillow, god knows how early it was and she needed her sleep birthday or not.

“No can-do Sleeping Beauty, I have a long day planned for you!” Raven snickered, “Get up and get dressed, if you’re not ready in an hour I will return with a megaphone! And before you sass me yes, I have a megaphone.”

“Ugh.”

“Get up!” the brunette yelled one more time for good measure before leaving,

Clarke laid dead to the world for twenty more minutes before dragging herself out of bed. She had no clue what Raven had planned for her besides the club tonight and truthfully, she wasn’t in the mood to celebrate. Not when her relationship was on the rocks.

Quickly she washed up desperately missing the hot running water in Polis, she had no problem heating the water for a bath but staying with Lexa spoiled her and she was lazy. Once she was clean, she threw on some comfortable pants and a crop before returning to her small room.

She checked the radio hoping Lexa had turned hers back on, but she hadn’t yet and maybe she never would. Clarke hated that she hurt her but she wished they could at least talk about it so she could fix it.

After sulking for the remainder of her hour Clarke exited her room and down the metal hallways until she reached the dinning hall where seemingly all her friends and parents were waiting.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” They yelled, and Clarke couldn’t help but smile. Everyone she loved was there for her and the aching realization that another could’ve been didn’t go unnoticed by her, but she pushed it down.

* * *

“I’m glad you decided to join me.”

“I guess we will find out soon if I am glad, I joined you as well.” Lexa sighed,

The decision wasn’t easy, but she couldn’t wait for Clarke to get back to talk to her and a radio conversation wouldn’t cut it. So, early this morning she decided she would join Anya on her journey. To her surprise Titus had no objections only wishing her a safe journey as he should.

While packing her things she had second thoughts and almost talked herself into staying. There was still the possibility that she wasn’t wanted there and that alone made her want to stay but with Anya’s reassurances she decided she needed to go.

The journey was long, but they left early enough to reach TonDC by noon therefore they were making good time. Birthdays wasn’t something her people celebrated but she knew from Anya’s words that it is highly celebrated in the sky. They give gifts and have parties and Trikru did that as well just probably not to the extent of Skaikru. And even though she didn’t know how Clarkes birthday beforehand she very well couldn’t show up empty handed even if she was upset with the girl.

While Anya and Elena were dealing with the supplies Lexa went inside their home and up to her room that she has there. Most of her belongings stay in Polis with her but this item she chose to leave here for safe keeping. She hardly ever took it out of its secure place but after today it would have a new home. She wrapped it tightly and stored it in her coat before returning to Anya who was waiting.

“Ready?” she asked, and Lexa nodded,

“Leaving without saying goodbye?” Elena called stopping Lexa who waved for Anya to go ahead,

“Sorry nomon.”

“Don’t be, where did you disappear off to? I was hoping to show you the new homes we built.”

“I had to go inside, it’s Clarke’s birthday and I needed a gift for her.” Lexa explained hoping her mother wouldn’t press but this was her mother and she definitely would.

“Oh?” Elena said curiously, “And what have you chosen to give her?”

Lexa’s silence was deafening, and it only made the woman more curious, finally Lexa pulled the small item from her pocket and Elena was stunned.

“Really?” Elena asked knowing the weight that one item held to her daughter,

“I want her to have it.” Lexa answered putting it back in her pocket while trying to avoid her mother’s gaze.

“You love her.” Elena smiled knowingly, “I remember all those months ago when you stood right over there watching her train with Anya. I knew you were still heartbroken but the way you watched her; you would think she was some sort of angel I mean you were in a trance. I hoped you would open your heart to her and I’m so happy you did, I’m happy for you yongon and he would be too.”

Lexa nodded not trusting her voice only wondering if her feelings for Clarke have always been this transparent. They met almost five months ago on the brink of war and in such a short time the blonde had completely captured her heart and she was ok with that. More than ok.

“Don’t keep Clarke waiting.” Elena smiled giving her a quick hug before sending her on her way,

It wasn’t until she was walking to her horse, she realized that her nomon just accused her of loving Clarke and not one bone in her body thought to deny it. She loved Clarke and even if she wasn’t ready to admit it out loud it was there, and she felt it. It was probably the most real thing she’s ever felt in her life. Meeting Clarke has caused her to feel things she never has, and it was scary but nice. This wasn’t something she was used to and since being in a relationship with the blonde her emotions have been way more visible. She’s been needy and she’s wanted to be loved and this was a vulnerability that only Clarke could draw from her.

_She was in love with Clarke Griffin,_

* * *

Dinner was in a couple hours and besides the constant worry of her relationship it had been a good day. They watched movies and talked and laughed and Clarke drank, not enough to get drunk but enough to feel it. She was missing Lexa, but Raven had a distraction for her left and right which helped.

Current distraction, darts!

Raven built a small bored and hung it in the common area where the pair were currently throwing small dagger at it.

“I’m thinking I’m going to skip out on Delinquents tonight.” Clarke said throwing her makeshift dart,

“WHAT?” Raven yelled catching everyone else in the common room by surprise, “Hell no! Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Uh-.”

“Don’t even answer that you bitch!”

“It’s my birthday Raven.” Clarke pointed out,

“Do you even know what I went through to plan this and you’re just going to take it away from me?”

“Do you even hear yourself?” Clarke chuckled, “You’re ridiculous.”

“I think you’re the ridiculous one.” She scoffed throwing her dart hitting the center for the first time since they been throwing,

“Oh, look being angry makes you good at darts.”

“Fuck off!” Raven muttered, “Is this because of your fight with Lexa because if so, I don’t think she would want you to miss a party your best friend put a lot of work in just because you had a fight.”

“She doesn’t even know about the party because I’m an idiot and now she won’t talk to me.”

“Is this a birthday party or a pity party?” Anya asked joining the pair Raven sighing in relief and Clarke ignoring the comment all together instead continuing to throw her darts,

“Thank god, maybe you can talk some sense into the princess here.” Raven said,

“There’s nothing you can say Anya.” Clarke replied still opting not to face the girls,

“I wasn’t talking about Anya.” Raven smirked pulling her own girlfriend out of the room,

Clarke finally decided to turn around to see what Raven was blabbing about and the sight was shocking to say the least.

“Hello Clarke.” Lexa said, taking in the blonde her hair was in messy waves and her clothes were the usual skintight cropped duo that the girl loves,

“What- I didn’t know you were coming.” Clarke asked still shocked to see her girlfriend since she assumed, she was still in Polis ignoring her.

“It was a last-minute decision.”

“I’ve been trying to radio you.” Clarke said trying not to sound annoyed but failing miserably,

“I wanted to talk in person.” Lexa replied, “I hope that’s ok.”

“Of course, it is Lexa.” She sighed, “I’m sorry and I just, I’m an idiot.”

“I would like to talk about this, but I have to meet Kane to discuss some things, it will give us both time to think about what we want to say.”

Clarke nodded, biting her tongue wanting to say Kane can fucking wait but opted not to.

“I will be in my room; Kane can tell you where.” Clarke said bitterly, Lexa only nodding before exiting leaving Clarke to wonder if any of that truly happen or is her mind creating delusions because she desperately wanted to speak with Lexa?

“Now that you’ve talked, we can party right?” Raven asked re-entering the room with a smile,

“We haven’t talked yet and do you really think Lexa can just walk into your club?” Clarke asked irritated, everything was frustrating.

“I have a solution for that.” Raven smirked,

* * *

Lexa’s meeting with Kane was dragging, it had already been an hour and it was leaving her with too much time to think. This could end so many ways like with Lexa breaking up with her.

Finally, after cleaning her room neurotically four times she finally heard a knock at the door. She took a second, running her fingers through her hair and smoothing out her shirt before opening it.

“Hi.” Clarke smiled letting her in, her guards staying by the door

Lexa examined the room seeing some art on the wall even spotting some drawings of herself there. Her nerves were all over the place and this room was quite small, she wondered how anyone could live here. This was her first time inside of Arkadia and it was different. She had no expectations, but she also didn’t thing everything would be so… regular?

“Do you want to sit?” Clarke asked breaking their silence, Lexa nodding in return taking a seat on the small bed,

Clarke sat staring at her hands wondering who would speak first but since she’s the reason they’re in this predicament she knew it needed to be her.

“How was your meeting with Kane?” Clarke asked catching the brunette off guard,

“You were quite right; Kane is rather annoying, but it went fine.” Lexa answered seeing Clarke smiled slightly, “Is there a part of you that didn’t want me to come here and that’s why you didn’t ask?”

“No.” Clarke answered quickly hating seeing how clearly hurt Lexa was by her actions, “What I said is true, I didn’t want to give people another reason to dislike you as a leader because you came here specifically for me. I hear what they say Lexa, they basically think I’m your bed warmer-.”

“You’re not!” Lexa interrupted,

“I know that, but I still hear the whispers and I see the looks especially from Titus and I don’t want to put you in a position where you have to defend me.”

“That is my choice Clarke!” Lexa replied, “It’s my choice and I will always defend you because I… it’s what you do for your partner and that is no different because I am Heda. I know I can’t give you a normal relationship and hold hands in the courtyard with you or kiss you goodbye when we’re out in the open, but I am trying Clarke. I’m trying to make this as normal as I possibly can.”

“I know.” Clarke whispered, “And I’m sorry, I’m sorry for lying and hurting your feelings and for not talking to you. I’m a hypocrite for scolding you for not talking to me about bounty hunting and not wanting me to leave Polis when I did the same here.”

“We both need to work on our communication.” Lexa moved closer softly caressing Clarkes face, “And I need you to know I don’t care what anyone thinks, not our people not Titus no one. You are mine and I am yours it doesn’t matter what they say because they aren’t going to change that, ok?”

Clarke nodded leaning into her touch feeling a tear leave her eye and Lexa wiping it away quickly. All day she had been afraid she couldn’t fix this, and hearing Lexa say she was hers made all of that fear fade away.

“Don’t cry ai hodnes.” Lexa whispered kissing her cheeks where the tears left their path,

“It’s birthday and I’ll cry if I want to.” Clarke murmured,

“Is that from a movie?” Lexa asked and Clarke chuckled,

“Close, a song.” She smiled, “Does this mean you forgive?”

“I can’t be mad at you on your birthday, can I?” Lexa smiled,

“Even when I’ve been an idiot, no you can’t.”

“Then it’s settled, I forgive you but going forward we have to start talking to each other. I always want you to come to me with any concern little or small, ok?”

“You’ll do the same.”

“I will.”

“Good.” Clarke took the opportunity to steal a kiss, “I missed your lips.”

“Just my lips?” she asked smugly,

“And your face.” Clarke added straddling the girl who’s hand went straight to her butt, “And your hands, and this special spot on your neck I love to mark, and you hate.” She smiled,

“I don’t hate it, it’s just very noticeable today especially I can’t have a love bite when I could run into your parents.” Lexa says and the blonde laughs,

“Fine.” Clarke says standing up, “We should probably head to dinner anyways.”

“I can stay behind if your guest would prefer that.” Lexa said sheepishly,

“You’re coming, my parents wanted me to invite you anyways.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Clarke smiled at the way Lexa’s eyes lit up knowing her parents wanted her to come, “Now come.”

“Can I change first?”

* * *

“Only the princess would be late to her own birthday dinner.” Raven huffed stealing some icing from the poorly made cake sitting on the table,

“Stop complaining.” Abby said swatting her hand from getting more icing, “and stop that too.”

“I’m sure she’ll be here soon.” Jake added laid back in his chair.

“Who made this cake?” Anya asked looking at the poor creation, the middle seemed to be caving in and the blue icing was messy. A child from her village could probably make one better.

“If I have to hear about this cake one more damn time I’m going to implode.” Murphy commented, to his defense he had never made a cake in his life like everyone else on the ark so in his eyes this was a win, “You try baking with limited ingredients!”

“Relax.” Anya replied, “It looks…. like you worked really hard and it’s the effort that counts.”

“Good one babe. “Raven smiled licking more icing before Abby removed the cake from the table completely,

“I hate everyone.” Murphy grumbled, slumping down in his seat.

“Finally.” Octavia called seeing the blonde and the commander enter the room,

“Sorry we’re late.” Clarke said seeing everyone straighten up at the sight of Lexa, “Chill out everyone, tonight there is no Heda just Lexa.” She said smiling at the woman who grabbed her hand, “So treat her like normal she’s here to enjoy the night.”

“In that case sit the hell down Lexa.” Octavia smirked, “And spill all the tea on Clarkey here.”

“Tea?” Lexa confusedly asked as she took her seat,

“It means information or gossip.” Clarke answered, “Baby Blake here just discovered slang it seems,

“Oh, fuck off Clarke.” She said,

“Language!” Aurora called from the parent side of the table,

“I’m sure you know all the ‘tea’ on Clarke.” Lexa said to the girl feeling silly using the word, “You’ve known her longer, perhaps you should spill the tea on Clarke.”

“What?” Clarke turned to her girlfriend,

“You’re so right.” Octavia smirked, “What would you like to know, embarrassing stories, drunken tales of one Clarke griffin, I mean in the first three months on the ground alone there’s a lot.”

“So true.” Raven laughed,

“We don’t need to share stories about me.” Clarke interrupted but Lexa was already amused,

“What are these drunken stories I must know.” Lexa smiled,

“Lexa!” Clarke protested but the brunette was already invested,

“So, this one day-.”

“You know I can’t say I want to hear inappropriate stories about my daughter’s drunken escapades.” Abby interrupted, “Maybe save it for tonight?”

“Fine.” Octavia sighed,

Dinner went amazingly, everyone treated Lexa like she was one of them and Clarke saw a different side of her that she’s never seen. She was talkative and funny her friends had no problem entertaining her so that was a plus. The adults loved her just as much especially Abby, both having a love for literature gave them something to discuss and Clarke almost had to pry her girlfriend away they would stop talking so much. Seeing how well Lexa was with everyone made her feel worse for not inviting her but she was here and that’s all that mattered.

“Who made this cake?” Clarke asked causing everyone to laugh except an annoyed Murphy,

“Next time I’m contributing nothing.” Murphy said,

“I love it Murph.” Clarke smiled looking at the lopsided caved in masterpiece in front of her,

“We don’t have candles, but we can still sing.” Abby pointed out,

“Sing?” Lexa asked,

“On The Ark if it’s your birthday we sing a short song wishing that person happy birthday.” Clarke explained, “But it’s not necessary guys.”

“We’re doing it.” Abby rephrased gathering everyone by the table, “Ok ready.”

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!......”

Lexa and Anya watched curiously as everyone one around them sung this strange tune. They definitely don’t sing on birthdays; the whole concept seems odd and the song is repetitive but interesting to watch none the less.

When the singing was over Clarke spent a few more minutes talking to her parents before they retired for the night along with Aurora. All the ‘kids’ would be going to Delinquents, so they stayed put and chatted for a little longer. Clarke wasn’t sure If Lexa would agree to go even with Ravens solution but there was no time like the present to ask.

On the way back to her room they were quiet, but it was nice, Lexa’s guards were trailing them which was weird for Clarke since she has never really been out with Lexa anywhere, so she’s never had to deal guards following them but after a while she forgot they were even there. Once they were inside the room Clarke kicked off her boots and turned to the woman.

“So, have you heard of Delinquents?” Clarke asks sitting next to the brunette on the bed,

“Ravens bar?”

“It’s a night club but yeah, she’s having a party for me there tonight.” Clarke explained trying to read he expression,

“Oh, ok.”

“And I want you to come.”

“Clarke.” Lexa sighed, “It was nice taking the night off inside these walls with your family but I’m still the commander. I can’t go to a bar, I’m sorry.”

“What if I said no one will know it’s you?” Clarke smiled,

“They will.”

“Not if you wear this.” Clarke retrieved the mask and handed it to the woman, “This is a masquerade mask, Raven found a bunch of them in Mount Weather. The mask plus the darkness and the alcohol mixed together no one will know it’s you.”

Lexa examined the mask it was black with a shimmery fabric covering it, it was pretty, but she still wasn’t sure of this idea.

“I don’t know Clarke, even with my identity concealed I still have guards and they will be impossible to get around.”

“Let me worry about that.” Clarke grabbed her hands, “Take the night off with me, please baby!”

Lexa had no weaknesses and she prided herself on that but since meeting the blonde she could say her one and only weakness was her. She found it hard saying no to her and even though this plan was crazy she couldn’t help but say…

“Ok.”

“Yay!” Clarke cheered jumping in the woman’s arms, “It’ll be so much fun, but you can’t wear this.”

“What’s wrong with my clothes?” Lexa looked down at her black pants and shirt she changed into for dinner,

“Nothing, you look amazing in anything, but Delinquents is laid back and chill whereas your current outfit is semi formal.”

“I only brought clothes like this.”

“Don’t worry, I have just the thing.” Clarke smirked,

Clothes were her thing, she enjoyed them, and Davina was damn good at creating clothes that matched her vision. Clarke would draw something up and give it to the girl and without hesitation she would make it, in the old world the two probably could’ve made a business out of this.

She dove into her closet knowing she left some stuff behind on her last visit, Lexa was always very covered up so tonight Clarke was going to showcase just how smokin’ her girlfriend is.

* * *

“I don’t know about this.” Lexa changed into the outfit Clarke picked for her and it was like nothing she’s ever worn. The pants were a tighter leather than she was used to, and the shirt was corset based and showed her stomach and cleavage.

“If you’re uncomfortable you can change.” Clarke assured her,

“I’m not uncomfortable I’ve just never worn anything like this.” Lexa said still staring at herself in the mirror, her hair was unbraided and in waves down her back and she felt like a different person.

“Well, I think you look hot.” Clarke smirked wrapping her arms around the woman’s waist,

“Are you sure no one will recognize me?” Lexa asked again, “Someone could still see me as the commander.”

“They won’t because tonight you aren’t the commander.” Clarke smirked, “Tonight you aren’t even Lexa, tonight you are gonna be…… Saskia a Skaikru warrior whose looking for a goodtime with her girlfriend of course.”

“Saskia?”

“It was the first thing I thought of and it’s a hot name.”

“Then what will your name be?” Lexa asked looking at the blonde who was also in similar clothes except her pants had rips and her shirt was a mesh material that also had sporadic tears in it. It was very similar to her everyday ware, but it showed more. “If I need a new name, I think it’s only fair you have one as well.”

“I’d hate to feel left out.” She smirked, “What do you have in mind?”

“Hmm, how about Natasha?” Lexa suggested,

“I knew you were a Scar Jo fan!” For weeks since they watched the first Avenger movie Clarke had been trying yo get Lexa to admit that Natasha Romanoff was her favorite character, but she denied it saying it was Captain America. Now Chris Evans was hot, but Scarlett Johansson takes the cake or did a hundred years ago before the world went to shit.

“As you Skai people say she is very hot.” The brunette smiled,

“I agree completely.” Clarke grinned, “Ok, Saskia and Natasha it is we should probably go.”

“Wait.” Lexa said remembering she hadn’t given Clarke her present yet, “I got you something, well I want to give you something as a gift.”

“Really?” Clarke asked watching the brunette dig in her jacket pocket before pulling out a white cloth, “You didn’t have to Lexa.”

“I wanted to.” The brunette replied opening the cloth to reveal a bronze necklace with a small pendant hanging from it, “I know how much your watch means to you and it means so much that you want me to have it so in turn I wanted you to have something that means a lot to me too.”

“It’s beautiful, will you tell me about it?”

Lexa nodded pressing her finger over the small pendant,

“Growing up many of us don’t learn to read until we are much older but my fathers nomon taught him very young. In their home they only had one book and it was about Greek mythology, so she used that to teach him. He told me he would read the stories every night about all the gods, but his favorite was always Eirene the goddess of peace and when I was born, he shared those stories with me. He would tell me that if my Nightblood deemed worthy enough to be the next commander then I could bring a peace to our lands. My father fought in many wars, but his one hope was peace, he thought fighting would achieve that but as the years went on, he learned it didn’t. Then the day I left for Polis to start my training he said I was his hope, and he gave me this.” Lexa handed her the necklace, “The woman on the pendant is Eirene, when he died, I couldn’t bare looking at it. I hid it away at my nomon and Anya’s home, but I never forgot his vision but now I want you to have it.”

“Lexa, are you sure, I know how much he means to you.” Clarke said taken aback by the weight of the situation,

“He does mean a lot to me and having you wear it would mean a lot too.”

Clarke nodded looking at the metal in her hands, “Will you put it on me?”

Lexa took the jewelry back unclasping the hook before placing of the blonde’s bare neck. She gasped slightly at the cold metal but once it was on, she couldn’t help but have this dopey smile. Frankly, she couldn’t believe Lexa trusted her so much with something this special.

“I love it.” Clarke murmured turning around to face the brunette who was already looking at her, she pressed her lips against the brunette’s pouty ones. She knew they had to leave soon but she wanted to stay in this moment for a little while longer. She wanted to drown in everything that is Lexa kom Trikru because this woman was like nothing she has ever experienced. Meeting Lexa awoken something in her, something that she couldn’t live without not now that she knows how amazing it is.

“Now tell me Natasha how do you plan no getting us out of here without alarming my guards?” Lexa asked breaking the kiss,

“If knowing baby Blake taught me anything, it’s floors make amazing hiding places and, in this case, great escapes.” Clarke moved the small rug that decorated her room and pulled up a loose floorboard. “Come on.”

Lexa grabbed her mask and put it on climbing into the floor, it was dark and creepy, but she trusted Clarke, so she went along with it. Once the floorboard was placed back, they started their journey. They didn’t have to walk far before they stopped. Everything looked the same to Lexa but not to Clarke, she knew exactly what board to knock on and a second later it was opened by none other than Raven.

“I was starting to think you weren’t coming.” The Latina said helping the girls climb through before shutting the board,

“It takes time looking this good.” Clarke said, looking around. Everyone was already there all of them wearing masks as well, so Lexa didn’t stick out.

“Wow Lexa you look hot.” Raven smirked checking out the girl, she definitely didn’t look like the commander.

“That’s not Lexa.” Clarke smiled looking at her girlfriend, “Guys this is Saskia hot Skaikru warrior by day, sexy club inhabitant by night.”

“Saskia huh?” Anya looked over her friend she’s known her whole life, she never imagined seeing Lexa like this, but she liked it. She liked the idea that she would get a break from everything even if it was just for tonight.

“For night yes.” Lexa replied pulling Anya aside while Clarke and Raven discussed something about a designated driver, “Tell me the truth, do you think this is ridiculous?”

“Honestly yes.” Anya smiled, seeing the girls face fall, “But I think you could use a little ridiculous in your life _strisis_. You look great, tonight your only duty is being Saskia and having a good time with your princess.” She smirked,

* * *

Nerves, nerves were also something that she didn’t experience much before Clarke came into her life. But sitting in the rover driving to this ‘nightclub’ as the sky people call it made her a little nervous. What if someone recognized her or what if she’s not ‘fun’ enough. What if she hates it and Clarke notices and she ruins her birthday? What if-.

“Lexa?” Clarke whispered finally getting the brunettes attention, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” she shook her head, but Clarke wasn’t buying it,

“Baby, talk to me I know something is wrong.”

Lexa sighed looking around the rover at the others, they weren’t paying any attention which was a relief because she felt incredibly vulnerable.

The rover stopped and the others got out, Clarke telling them to go ahead without them. Once they were alone Clarke turned all her attention to the brunette who was staring down at her hands.

“I’m so sorry if you feel like I forced you to come here.” Clarke said finally breaking the silence, “We can go back to Arkadia, we still have many more Marvel movies to get through so we can do that instead.”

“You would do that?” Lexa asked looking up at the girl,

“Of course, as long as we’re together I don’t care what we do.” She smiled,

“It’s not that I don’t want to go in it’s just, I don’t know if this is my thing I guess.”

“That’s how I felt the first time I went inside too.” Clarke admitted,

“Really?”

“Yeah, on the Ark we didn’t have clubs or even a bar. Sometimes we had dances, but it was nothing like this, so I didn’t know what to expect. The only thing I had to go off of were movies and so did Raven and that’s what she used to make this place. It’s not perfect but people love it and it’s a good escape for the first few months after the mountain it was my only escape.” She murmured,

“I’m sorry.” Lexa whispered,

“For what?”

“I wasn’t there for you after the mountain like I said I would be.”

“You’re here now and that’s all I care about.” She replied, not wanting to think about their time apart let alone that time in her life. “So, what will it be Saskia, Delinquents or Marvel marathon?”

“I want to go.” Lexa nodded, “If anything I’d like to see what all my citizens love so much about this place.”

“It’s another world.” Clarke smirked grabbing her hand and helping her out of the rover, “If you decided you don’t like it, we’ll leave, ok?”

Lexa nodded studying the building in front of her, like most it was worn bricks falling off overgrown branches and trees. There were huge windows where flashing lights were streaming through and she could practically feel the base from the music vibrating the ground beneath her.

When they entered the place was packed, people were dancing everywhere some clearly intoxicated others just having a good time. The music was Skaikru music which Lexa didn’t mind, she found some of it strange but most songs she liked.

She held on to Clarkes hand tightly as they wove through the crowd some people barley letting them through which she wasn’t used to. Normally when she walked people parted like the red sea but here, they had no clue they were bumping into their commander.

Finally, they reached the bar where them were some rickety stools, so they sat and waited to get a drink.

“What do you think?” Clarke asked trying to yell over the music but failing, finally she just moved her stool closer so she could whisper in the girl’s ear, “Thoughts so far?”

“Everyone looks like they’re having a good time.” Lexa smiled, they had only just arrived, but it wasn’t as bad as she was expecting. She also wasn’t expecting everything to look so nice but with Raven at the forefront she shouldn’t have expecting anything less. The lights were flashing different colors and the bar was built finely even the handwritten menu was nice. All the drinks had weird names and Lexa knew what none of them were so when the bartender came over, she was at a loss.

“Clarkey it’s been a while.” She smirked giving the blonde a hug over the bar,

“The mask did nothing for you?” Clarke smiled seeing her disguise isn’t so incognito as she thought,

“I know a hot blonde when I see it, but it could also be the fact that I’ve known you for years.” Harper smirked, “This one however I don’t know.”

“This is Saskia.” Clarke said winking at Lexa, “My hot date for the night.”

“Just for the night?” Lexa quipped,

“I guess we’ll see where the night takes us.” The blonde grinned,

“Lucky you.” Harper said, “What can I get you ladies to drink?”

“Depends, are Monty and Jasper on the distillery tonight?”

“After last time they are officially banned.” She laughed, “I’m mixing all the drinks tonight, I wrote all the ones we can make but if you have something in mind, I can mix it.”

“What are you think?” Clarke turned to her girlfriend who was lost, “How about a cocktail? They’re sweet similar to Fayowoda.”

“Sounds good.” Lexa smiled, her eyes drifting back to the dance floor seeing Anya and Raven dancing as well as the others.

“What are you thinking?” Clarke asked the smiling girl beside her,

“That this might be the most people I’ve ever seen completely happy all in one place.” Lexa said truthfully, even though this couldn’t be a weekly thing for her she was glad her people had somewhere they could be happy and free.

“Delinquents has that effect, clans and wars and alliances don’t matter here. Everyone is welcome and the only rule is to have a good time, like I said a good escape.”

Lexa wanted to think more about that, more about her people but she was turning the political side of her brain off for the night.

When the drinks came back Lexa was surprised at how good it tasted, maybe even better than Fayowoda. The alcohol was noticeable, but she didn’t mind it.

“Wanna dance?” Clarke asked standing up recognizing one of the songs, she could see Lexa was hesitant but nodded grabbing her hand as they walked to the floor,

“I have to admit I’ve never danced to music like this.” Lexa said in the blonde’s ear,

“Just listen to the beat,” she said grabbing the girl’s waist from behind, “And move, I’ll help you.”

The brunettes back was pushed against Clarkes front and as promised the blonde guided her. The floor was packed and there were dozens of people surrounding them but the only thing on Lexa’s mind was Clarkes hands exploring every inch of her body as they danced pressed against each other. Every touch was like fire to her skin and when the song was over, she was happy the next one started playing so they could stay like this.

Four songs in and she was comfortable enough to where she could just enjoy Clarke without relying on her help. They moved fluidly and were joined by their friends, but they were only focused on each other. Stealing glances and kisses until ultimately it turned into a full blown make out session. It was sloppy and the alcohol was catching up to them but neither cared. Clarke did notice that Lexa had caught the attention of a few people and not because they recognized her. Clarke was absolutely jealous even though Lexa was oblivious to the whole thing.

“Follow me.” Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand locking their fingers before leading her through the crowd until they reached a door. Behind the door was a small room with just a couch and some boxes.

“Trying to get me alone?” Lexa grinned watching the blonde’s eyes rake over her body in the brighter lighting.

“Yes, and away from prying eyes.” Clarke said as her fingers graved over the zipper that held up the brunette’s shirt, “People were staring at you, you know.”

“Were they?” she smirked watching her own shirt be unzipped and discarded leaving her chest in full view,

“Yes.” Clarke rasped, running her fingers over the already pert nipples. 

“So, you’re jealous?” Clarke nodded peppering kisses down the woman’s chest, “You shouldn’t be, do you want to know why?”

“Mhmm.” Clarke hummed lightly pushing Lexa onto the couch and straddled her, looking into those big green eyes she loved.

“Because I only have eyes for you and as long as you have me, I’m all yours Clarke.”

“So, forever.” Clarke breathed kissing her neck lightly, “You’re mine.”

“Mhmm.” Lexa nodded letting out a soft moan as the girl’s cold fingers ran down her chest, “No teasing.”

“I would never.” She smirked removing her own shirt, Lexa immediately palming her boobs with her hands taking one in her mouth, “Fuck.” “Pants.” Clarke finally mumbled as Lexa unbuttoned her own pants before kicking them off,

Clarke wanted to treat her, she wanted to show her that even if she didn’t care about any of the other girls staring that they could never make her feel this way. Jealously was not something she experienced only with Lexa and tonight she would make sure that everyone knew she was hers, starting with making the brunette scream her name.

She flipped them over so that she was sitting, and Lexa was straddling her and she could already feel the woman’s dripping center.

“Someone’s excited.” The blonde grinned running her finger through the wetness gathering as much as she could before sucking every last drop moaning at the taste,

“I said no teasing.” Lexa groaned needing more than what Clarke was giving her,

“Yes Heda.”

“I’m not Heda remember.” Lexa smirked,

“Roleplay huh? Yes Saskia, no more teasing.” With that Clarke pulled her into a bruising kiss, allowing her fingers to run through the wet heat running lazy circles over the girl’s clit. “I want you to ride my fingers, ok?”

Lexa’s moans were answer enough so after a few more rubs she slipped two finger in letting the moaning girl adjust before she moved. Being with Lexa during intimate moments like this always amazed her. The way she can make the girl moan and the way her boobs slightly bounced as she bounced on her fingers was enough to make her come just from watching. Making her girlfriend come undone like this was her favorite thing to watch and like everything else with Lexa she never wanted it to end.

“Faster.” The brunette moaned and Clarke obliged adding a third finger before speeding up her strokes,

“Like that baby?”

“Yes, ah just like that.” She cried feeling herself tightening around the blonde’s fingers,

“Tell me how it feels.” Clarke mumbled against her skin taking one of the pert nipples into her mouth, “Does it feel good baby?”

“Yes, so good.” She moaned grabbing onto blondes’ neck to keep herself up, at this pace she wouldn’t last much longer,

“Who’s the only person who can do this to you?” Clarke asks grabbing the girl’s hair forcing her to look at her,

“You.” She moaned, if this is what jealously did to Clarke, she wanted more

“Can any of those other girls do this to you?”

“No, only you Clarke!” she answered all remembrance of roleplay out the window,

“Why?”

“Because I’m you- uh I’m yours.” She cried feeling herself building up to what was destined to be the best orgasm of her life,

“That’s right baby, now come for me.” She sped up her pace as the girl above her moaned and screamed until finally coming all over the blonde’s fingers. Clarke slowed her pace holding the shaking girl as she came down from her high. When her breathing calmed, she removed them getting one last moan before licking them clean as Lexa watched. “Wanna taste?” Lexa didn’t hesitate kissing the blonde tasting herself on her lips as well as the drinks they had the mix was intoxicating,

“That was amazing.” Lexa sighed resting her head in the crook of Clarkes neck, “Who knew you were the jealous type.”

“They shouldn’t look at my girlfriend even though it’s hard as hell not to.” She smirked,

“If it makes you like this maybe they should,” she smirked pushing the blonde down so that she was laying, “But now it’s time to make you feel good birthday girl.”

“Mhmm, yes please.”

* * *

After another hour of pleasurable screams and love making Clarke and Lexa, or Saskia and Natasha finally rejoined the outside world that was packed into the club. Their hair was a mess, and their clothes were thrown on but neither cared as they rejoined their friends who noticed immediately.

“Looks like someone enjoyed the back room.” Raven smirked, both girls had dopey smiles that only good sex will give you, “How was it?”

“I never kiss and tell but if I could say one thing it’s that Saskia here is a very satisfying lover.” The blonde grinned and Lexa laughed when usually she would be completely embarrassed,

“As expected just remind me to clean that couch.” Raven winked, “How about a few shots before we head back?”

“Can’t say no to free alcohol.” Clarke shrugged pulling Lexa towards the bar where everyone was waiting.

Harper lined up the glasses enough for her, Lexa, Raven, Anya, Octavia, Lincoln and for a laugh she filled Bellamy’s with water because he was the DD.

“To Natasha!” Raven yelled, the other repeating before downing the dreadful liquid,

Lexa still was too sure of the plain Skaikru alcohol was Clarkes lips on hers and the dancing made her forget the taste entirely. After a few more rounds and more dancing they all piled back into the rover and an annoyed Bellamy drove them back to Arkadia.

The whole ride Lexa held a very drunk Clarke in her arms and even with the pounding in her head and the horrid taste in her mouth she couldn’t help but feel like this was one of the best nights in her life. Dancing and drinking with people who have no clue who she is and the girl she loved was something she didn’t know she needed. For a night she was free and being Saskia was something she would remember forever and if she was lucky would get to repeat one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys enjoyed and i want to thank everyone for your lovely comments and even the not so lovely ones lol! i love you for reading!!! Don't forget to let me know what characters you want more of. i always have something else i want to say then when i go to post i blank completely someone get me a new brain asap! also you can blame my marvel marathon for the name but Scarlett lives rent free in my mind but i'm not mad about it! 
> 
> also also 
> 
> who wants more Saskia?


	22. Hunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New years everyone i hope all of you had a safe and fun New years and hopefully 2021 is great for all of us! 
> 
> i am so sorry for mistakes i suck;)

The next morning could only be described as painfully unbearable, hangovers were the newest plague of Arkadia, and the commander was the forefront. In her 23 years Lexa was never one to drink for the soul purpose of getting drunk. Typically, she would have a few sips at a celebration or with dinner but never has she consumed as much alcohol as she did last night. Admittedly, being Saskia was fun for the night, but the blaring headache and sore stomach was quite the opposite so waking up was not very pleasurable.

Thankfully, Clarke was very attentive giving her medicine for her headache and something called coffee which helped. They would be traveling back to Polis today and any kind of cure would be beneficial for their trip.

As they were packing their things Lexa silently relived last night thinking about how freeing it was. For once she was a normal person with not a care in the world and that was something, she never imagine she could feel. Obviously, she didn’t think it was something she would like to do all the time, but it was a nice escape. She was also happy to give Clarke a night where they could be so public, it did make her wonder if having that moment would make Clarke want more of them.

That thought scared her because she knew it was something, she wouldn’t be able to supply. Before her thoughts could spiral, she decided to put it on the back burner, when they returned to Polis, she would share her concerns with the girl.

“Feeling better?” Clarke asked as she wrapped her arms around the taller woman,

“Yes, thank you for taking care of me.” Lexa smiled,

“It’s a pleasure Heda and the least I could do since I dragged you out.”

“It was your birthday and I wanted to celebrate with you, and I had a good time.”

“I’m glad, it was nice seeing that side of you.”

“Can I ask something?” Lexa asks,

“Sure.”

“When you used to go to Raven’s club did you ever- we went to that room and I just wondered if you ever took anyone else in there.” Lexa said hesitantly not fully knowing if she wanted to know the answer and Clarke face wasn’t giving her any hints as to if she did or didn’t.

“No.” Clarke answered, “You’re the only person I’ve ever been intimate with in my life and up until Niylah kissed me you were the only person I ever kissed. I did go to delinquent’s a lot and I did dance with people and flirt, but it was harmless, and I needed the distraction. I only know about the room because I helped Raven set up the place and I’ve passed out on that couch more times than I’d like to admit.”

“Why didn’t you?” Lexa said, “Be with anyone else I mean.”

Their three months apart wasn’t something they discussed much and to be honest Clarke wanted nothing more than to forget that time. She wasn’t good and she spent most of it taking jobs and getting drunk to drown her thoughts. It wasn’t Lexa’s fault, and she knew if they discussed what Clarkes life was in those months that Lexa would feel guilt.

“I’ve never been the type to have meaningless sex, it’s basically the reason I had never had sex until I met you. I told you on the Ark I was never interested in anyone and that’s true. I will admit there were times when I first started going to Delinquents that I thought sleeping with someone would be good, but I couldn’t. it didn’t feel right because my heart only wanted one person. So, I never got with anyone and I don’t regret that.”

“Thank you for being honest with me.” Lexa smiled,

“Of course, now are you ready to face the outside word?”

“Not yet.” Lexa said grabbing the girl and giving her one last kiss while they were still in the privacy of the blonde’s room. “Ok, now I am.”

“Lead the way commander.”

The horses were waiting for them when they arrived outside along with Raven and Anya who would be traveling with them. They would be stopping through TonDC but afterwards they were off to Polis where Clarke would discuss finding Roan with the ambassadors. After talking about it more Lexa agreed to her vetting the sources and if they found them to be true, she would embark on her journey for now they researching.

“Great.” Clarke murmured seeing Kane make his way over to them as they readied their horses,

“Commander.” He bowed, “I hope your stay here in Arkadia was adequate.”

“It was, thank you for having me chancellor Kane.” Lexa replied, “One more thing before I go, I have already discussed it with Bellamy of the sky people, but he will be assuming the role as Skaikru’s ambassador in Polis effective immediately.”

Clarke couldn’t help but internally cheer at the look on Kane’s face,

“That is news to me commander since Bellamy and I never discussed that.” Kane said catching Lexa off guard,

“You didn’t need to the decision was mine and for future reference you’d do well to remember your place Kane, we both know how your last leader met his end when he crossed me.” Lexa sneered, watching the man quiver at her words.

“That’s not what I meant-.”

“Don’t question my decisions, next time a nod will do.” Lexa interrupted, “You may go now.”

Kane nodded before practically running inside and out of Lexa’s sight while Clarke and Raven who was nearby couldn’t help but laugh.

“Was that good enough for you Clarke kom Skaikru?” Lexa asked, a hint of a smirk on her face.

“That was perfect.”

* * *

Once they arrived at TonDC they were greeted by Elena who couldn’t have been happier to see them together. Elena was definitely a Clarke and Lexa fan, more than anything she loved seeing her daughter happy.

“This looks amazing nomon.”

Construction in TonDC didn’t come quickly but with the help of everyone and even some Skaikru members they were able to rebuild most of what they lost and more. There were more homes for people and even some new stands for posts and trading. In time Lexa wanted every clan to undergo new improvements but it was all one step at a time.

“I’m glad you had time to come back and see the progress.” The woman smiled, “I see you gave Clarke the necklace.”

“I did.” Lexa nodded looking over at the blonde who was playing with a few kids, as far as she could tell they were in some battle with their wooden swords. Seeing Clarke with kids was so normal and domestic, it made her wonder in their future if they too would have a family,

“Did she give you something of hers as well?” Elena asks curiously staring at the watch on her daughters’ arm,

“The night we defeated Nia.” Lexa said looking down at the watch, “It’s from her family like my necklace.”

“You two might as well exchange bonding vows.” Elena snickered,

“Nomon!” Lexa knew a big part of bonding was the exchange of a meaningful object but to them at this moment is was merely a promise and that was good enough.

“I’m teasing you yongon.” Elena winked, “Come, I want to show you my garden before you go. Your favorite flowers have started sprouting a couple months ago and they’ll die soon when the cold hits.”

Once Lexa had seen everything ever mom wanted, she gathered her guards and Anya and Raven so they could get back on track to Polis. Clarke was still playing with the kids, so she walked over to retrieve her.

“Wanheda.” The kids jumped at the voice and sort of relaxed when they saw Lexa, she was from the village so many of them had seen her before, but she was still the commander and that came with a lot of people especially kids being afraid of her.

“Yes, heda?” she asked trying to hide her smile,

“We’re leaving.”

“Sorry little gona’s but the war will have to wait.” Clarke smiled turning back to the kids,

“Will you be back Clarke?” One of them asks,

“I will, but until then all of you keep training ok?” she said and all of them nodded, she waved them goodbye before joining the others at the horses. It wasn’t until a few minutes later that she noticed the looks Lexa was giving her. “What?”

“Nothing.” She shook her head, “It’s just nice seeing you with kids, I didn’t know you liked them.”

“Why because I’m the ruthless cold-blooded commander of death?” Clarke asked watching the brunette face quickly turn to worry.

“Of course, not Clarke that is not what I meant!”

“I’m joking Lexa.” She chuckled, “On the ark I wasn’t around many kids but being in TonDC so much I had the opportunity to be. In the beginning I never really had much interest but once I learned they were scared of my I wanted to change that.”

“Seems like you succeeded.”

“We have fun, right now we’re at war Floukru.” She smiled, “Sometimes Luna brings some kids from her village and they’ll duel, it’s adorable.”

“Sounds like it.”

“You know Luna’s told me some stories of you.” Clarke snickered seeing the worried look on the commander’s face,

“And what might those stories be?” Lexa asked, her and Luna grew up together, so she was sure there were many stories to be told.

“I’ll never tell.” Clarke mocked, “I do recall one though involving a bee’s nest.”

“Ugh.” Lexa groaned, she hated that story and would definitely scold Luna for telling her lover it, “In my defense it looked hollowed.”

“She said you’d say that.” Clarke laughed,

“Whatever.” Lexa grumbled,

* * *

Their arrival in Polis was warm welcomed as the citizens cheered Lexa’s return while they rode through the village. Lexa was well loved, and it was interesting for Clarke to see it in action. Her girlfriend was the fucking commander, and it took this very moment for her to realize how cool that was.

Lexa handled the crowd with ease, occasionally waving and smiling at people which excited them more. Once they reached the tower Titus greeted them which both girls loved so much. _Not_

“Welcome back to Polis Heda.” He bowed giving Clarke side eye that she ignored,

“Summon the ambassadors Titus, I want everyone in the throne room in thirty minutes.” Lexa said before walking passed the man signally for Clarke to follow.

The room was empty except for the occasional guard of course but other than that for the moment it was just the two girls. They had discussed calling this meeting, but Clarke didn’t know it would be as soon as they walked through the doors.

“This is happening quicker than I thought.” Clarke said standing in front of the woman as she sat on her throne,

“The sooner we do this the sooner we get it over with.” Lexa replied, “There is one thing we should discuss before they arrive.”

“And that is?”

“Our relationship, evidently it is no secret that we are together as we both know people tend to talk throughout the tower. The only question is would you like to disclose that to the council.”

“Disclose?” Clarke said with a tinge of annoyance in her voice. “Our relationship isn’t a business deal.”

“That’s not what I meant Clarke.”

“Then what is it that you mean Heda?” she asks staring back at the woman, of course there was no time for a reply.

“Heda, the ambassadors.” Titus said before letting the group of people into the room.

This was the first time Clarke had ever been privy to one of these meetings and having a group of people sit around her with knowing looks was slightly intimidating. The only upside was one familiar face which was Bellamy who also looked like a fish out of water. She knew he was nervous about the job, but she was glad he took it because it meant having one more friend in Polis.

“Ambassadors I’ve called you here to discuss your hiring of Wanheda to find Roan, prince of Azgeda.” Lexa said seeing fear on some of the members faces, it was clear this was something she didn’t share their stance on, but the point of the council wasn’t to have yes men so even if she didn’t agree, she respected their view. “Wanheda has agreed to take the job only after vetting these so-called sightings of the prince. If the accusations hold any weight only then will she take the job.”

“So, because she is your bed warmer you agree with what we’ve been suggesting for weeks?”

Lexa looked up eyeing Arla, ambassador of the shadow valley clan and proprietor of the words that caused the room to fill with uncomfortable silence.

As commander Lexa was good at keeping calm and on any other occasion her next move would’ve never crossed her mind but seeing the look on Clarkes face only made her angrier. So, without thinking she grabbed her dagger from her belt and threw it piercing the woman’s throat.

Everyone turned watching their fellow associate bleed out, but no one said a word.

“Wanheda is my partner, if anyone of you refers to her as my bedwarmer inside these walls again you will meet the same fate. “Lexa growled, “Is that understood?”

It was rhetorical and she knew they got the message,

“Whoever knows anything about the sightings or anything useful to find the prince you will tell Indra and she will give the information to Wanheda.” Lexa nodded for her head guard to lead them out, noticing Titus remain “You are dismissed as well.”

“Heda.”

“Now Titus.” She ordered and finally the man hesitantly took his leave following the others out the door.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Clarke said once everyone was gone, she didn’t like the woman’s words either, but she could handle it.

“I won’t let anyone refer to that way, not anymore.” Lexa said calmly, or as calmly as she could,

“Killing her doesn’t make the situation better Lexa and threatening them won’t make them accept me as your girlfriend.”

“You don’t need their acceptance!” she yelled standing from her throne.

“Then why kill her? Why threaten anyone if you didn’t feel the need for people to be ok with me?”

“I don’t care if they are ok with you and I being together and I don’t need their acceptance, but they will give me their respect.” Lexa said, “Do you see a future with me Clarke, a real future not just a short romance.”

“This isn’t a fling for me Lexa.”

“Then I need them to know if they attack you that is attacking me even if it is just with words, I won’t allow it.” 

The blonde couldn’t help but smile at Lexa’s over protectiveness, she still didn’t agree with killing the woman, but she understood her anger she just wished she had gone about it differently.

“You can’t kill everyone who says something to me you don’t like.” Clarke said finally,

“Yes, I can.” Lexa smiled lightly,

“I won’t let you; I can defend myself and when it comes to anything official like me doing a job for you, we have remain professional. We’re just Heda and Wanheda not Clarke and Lexa because if we mix the two then things will get complicated. I know Titus will have something to say about this and I don’t want our relationship causing you issues as the commander.”

“I can handle it Clarke, this is what I was trained to do.”

“I know that but until I finish this job, we need to separate business and pleasure, promise me you will do that.”

“If that is what you want.” Lexa nodded sitting back on her throne,

“On another note, seeing you go all protective badass warrior commander on my behalf was a little hot.” Clarke whispered with a smirk,

“A little?” Lexa said raising her brow,

“Maybe a lot.” The blonde admitted, “Seeing you on this throne in full commander mode is pretty hot too.”

“What were you saying about business and pleasure?” Lexa quipped,

“Let me have my fun.” Clarke pouted, “Please tell me you don’t have anything to do right now and we can escape up to your room.”

“Unfortunately, I can’t, but I won’t be long you should go see Indra and discuss what she’s found out.”

“That doesn’t sound as fun as my suggestions but ok.” She smiled, “Heda.” She bowed,

“Wanheda.”

* * *

The courtyard was more silent compared to usual as Clarke made her way to see Indra. Usually with a job Clarke had some inkling of where it would lead her but this one, she was going in completely blind and if she was being honest that kind of excited her.

When she found the woman, she was watching Octavia during a training session with one of the guards. Octavia turned out to be an amazing warrior and Clarke couldn’t have been prouder.

“You trained her well.” Clarke said to the older woman joining her,

“She’s a natural.” Indra replied, “The other sky people I’ve encountered have been weak and can barely pick up a sword.”

Clarke laughed, “Space spoiled them.”

“But not you or Octavia it seems.”

“The ark is filled to the brim with people who don’t have to worry about a thing, they get to wake up and life is an easy as breathing. That’s not how it was for Octavia, she’s a good fighter because she’s been fighting her whole life.”

“Then what is your excuse Wanheda?”

“I don’t know, luck?”

“That’s not it, you’re special and with Anya’s guidance you’ve also become a good warrior.” Indra said, turning to the blonde. Before this they haven’t had many interactions, but Clarke had always respected the woman and admired her for taking Octavia under her wing. “The ambassadors see that too and that is why they came to you for this tasks.”

“I’m sure they wish they hadn’t now.” Clarke murmured think about to not even thirty minutes ago when Lexa killed one of them.

“On the contrary, I think you doubt just how much our people respect you with the exception of a few. You’ve showed your strength and we’ve all seen it don’t doubt yourself now. As for your relationship with the commander, well if I am being completely honest most people simply do not care.”

“Really?” Clarke asked,

“As I said with the exception of a few.” Indra said, a small smile gracing her face, “I’ve known Lexa since she was a child, she was born for this and there will never be another like her. Like most commanders she has sacrificed a lot and many us believe she deserves her happiness, clearly that is you. Don’t let Titus or anyone else get into your head.”

“I won’t.” Clarke nodded; it was nice to know that there were people besides their friends that support her relationship with Lexa.

“Now back to the task at hand, according to the sources Roan has been spotted in the desert clan and into the dead zone. The closes clans to them are the boat clan and Ice nation, there a few in between that might have further information but other than sightings there are no solid leads.”

“So basically, they have nothing.” Clarke sighed, this was more difficult than she thought,

“If anyone can do something with nothing it is you.”

“You have to much faith in me.”

“I don’t think so, the best thing to do is use what you do know. Luna is the leader of the boat clan so go to her first, from there take it one step at a time.”

Clarke nodded, “Thank you Indra.”

“Good luck.” She nodded before walking back to the tower,

If Clarke was going to do this there was no way she could do it alone, she needed help but not just from anyone, from someone who had seen Roan before.

* * *

The sun was setting, and Lexa was done with all of her tasks for the day. She had meetings with the head agriculture which went well, If all goes well, they will be fully stocked on supplies and food for the winter. The meeting left her feeling excited because this year she would be able to guarantee all the clans are well overtaken care of for the colder months ahead. In the passed they had lost many citizens due to lack of food and simple things like not having enough blanket for warmth, but Lexa refused to let that happen.

This year they had technology on their side, with the food taken care of the next thing on Lexa’s mind was keeping everyone warm. Her people were good at building homes but the one they lacked was insulation so in the summer they would overheat and in the winter they would freeze. It was the main reason she stayed in the tower close to winter over her own home but this year that wouldn’t be necessary. After talking with Raven, the girl had volunteered to create something called it a heater. Apparently, they are supposed to heat small spaces so that would be good for everyone.

After her meeting Lexa was feeling good and thinking about getting to her room made her feel even better but of course that had to be interrupted.

“Heda.” Titus said, catching Lexa just as she was leaving the throne room,

“What is it Titus?” she figured she would have to hear this eventually so hearing it now would at least get it over with,

“Today I am asking you to remember my teachings, to be commander is to be alone.” He said and Lexa listened having heard this hundreds of times before, “What you did today was emotional and reckless, you just showed everyone in that room that you have a weakness, and they will use that against you.”

“If they try, they pay will the price.” Lexa said calmly,

“Clarke will get you killed; you can’t tell me it’s worth it.”

“No one is getting me killed Titus and what I said today goes for you too, you will not speak of Clarke in a bad light and if you do, you’ll pay the price. I respect you Titus, but I am your commander, and you need to trust me, if you don’t then you’re not who I thought you were.” Lexa said before walking around the man to continue her path to her room.

No matter the method Lexa knew Titus meant well, his whole life he trained to be Flamekeeper much like her to be commander. Unlike her he is stuck in his ways and will always stand by his teachings and she can respect that even if she chooses not to live by them.

The mantra of Love is weakness drowned her for way to long and she can’t let it reclaim her, she won’t. Even if technically, it is true, as commander her life will always be in danger and so will the people, she holds dear. Loving Clarke makes her target, but she refuses to let anything happen to her and she knows Clarke can take care of herself. The only thing she could do is hope Titus and whoever else can understand one day why she’s choosing to love over a lifetime of solitude and unhappiness.

* * *

The chances of finding someone who knew Roan before he was banished didn’t seem likely. To Clarke’s knowledge there weren’t many people who left the clan mostly because Nia didn’t allow it and if there were any Azgeda in Polis they definitely wouldn’t be publicizing it.

Luckily, the blonde didn’t have to search high and low because she knew just the person.

“Wanheda, to what do I owe the pleasure.”

“Really Echo, we talked about this Wanheda shit.” Clarke rolled her eyes walking into the girl’s small house.

“I know, it is funny to see you annoyed though.” She smiled,

“Glad I can bring you some joy then.” Clarke replied, “Is Bell here?”

“No, he’s training why is everything ok?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to ask you a few things.”

“Ok.” Echo said hesitantly motioning for the blonde to follow her to the living-room. “What is it?”

“During your time in Azgeda did you know Roan well?”

“I did, I lived with Nia in her home so me and Roan crossed paths a lot. For a short time, he trained me, and we even became friends. Once Nia found out shew didn’t let us around each other often, she claimed we were distractions to each other.”

“So, then you know about his banishment. Lexa told me it was because he planned to run away with a woman.” 

Echo sighed heavily before nodding,

“That is true, Nia didn’t approve so she ordered me to kill Klara that was her name. I didn’t want to but if I didn’t, she would hurt Ontari and I couldn’t let that happen, so I did as I was told. The night they planned to leave I snuck into her home and slit her throat. That was the first time Nia had me kill anyone, up until that point I was just seducing and spying on Clan leaders.”

“So, after you killed her Roan was banished?” Clarke asked,

“I assume so, I don’t know the exact conversation but one day he was gone, and I haven’t seen him since. Why are asking me about this?”

“I’ve been hired to find him, and I have nothing but a few sightings to go on, I know it’s a lot to ask but it would help if I had someone there who has seen him before.” Clarke explained trying to read the blank face in front of her, “You can say no, I’m not going to force you Echo.”

“Who hired you?”

“In conclusion technically Lexa, she’s the reason I’m taking the job anyway.”

“I will come with you; the commander has given me a home here if I can help her in any way then I want to.”

“Before you agree I need to make sure you know that I’m going in completely blind. I literally have no clue where this will lead to even how long it will take.”

“I understand Clarke, and I want to help you.”

“Ok.” Clarke nodded,

After discussing their trip further Clarke headed back to the tower since it was getting late and she wanted to inform Lexa of her plan. When she arrived at their room the brunette was sitting at the small table reading a book but when she saw the blonde, she quickly put it down.

“Have you been waiting a while?” Clarke asked joining her at the table,

“No, I just got in.” she smiled, “How was your meeting with Indra?”

“Truthfully, I’m no better than before but I do have somewhere to start, and I even have a partner.”

“Who might that be?” Lexa asked curiously, she couldn’t imagine Raven joining her for days on end in the woods, Octavia maybe.

“Echo, she knew him before he was banished and she’s a former spy which means she knows the lands. I’m hoping having her will speed up the progress.”

“I definitely like the idea of you not doing this alone, have you two discussed when you’ll leave?”

“Tomorrow.” Clarke said slightly cringing at the look on the brunette’s face,

“That’s soon.” She murmured closing her book,

“We’re just going to check our leads and then we’ll be back to form an actual plan. I’m thinking I’ll be gone a few days and then we’ll have a couple days alone before I leave to find him.” She explained, before walking over and kneeling in front of the woman, “I know it’s not ideal, but this is what we agreed to.”

Lexa nodded pulling the girl up to her feet as she stood up from her chair, once they were both at full height, she pressed her lips on the blondes waiting ones.

“Let’s enjoy tonight then before you leave.” Lexa said pulling back from the kiss and guiding the blonde to the huge king bed. She pushed her lightly watching Clarke fall back on the bed. She wanted to cherish this moment even if she would only be gone a few days. It didn’t matter she planned to make love to her for as long as possible to make up for the impending lost time. Clarke’s body was like her own personal temple and planned to worship it for the rest of her life but especially tonight.

* * *

The next morning everything was packed and ready to go for Echo and Clarkes trip. Their first stop was the boat clan, since she knew Luna personally it seemed like a good place to start. Bellamy volunteered to drive them in the rover, Clarke new it was just to be with Echo longer, but she didn’t care. The rover was quicker, and she wanted to get this done as fast as possible.

Her and Lexa said their goodbyes in private so when the time came for them to board the rover, they both just stared longingly. It was only a few days, but they had grown too fond of each other’s company to be apart.

“Be safe.” Raven said hugging the blonde,

“I will.”

“Take care of her for me.” Clarke whispered to Anya who was at Ravens side, she would be gone a few days, but she knew Lexa and her tendency to mope.

“Always do sky girl.” She smiled, “Don’t take to long.”

“I’ll try not to.” She smiled before walking over to Lexa who was waiting alone by the door, “We’re leaving now.”

“Then I shall see you soon.” Lexa said but Clarke new it really meant, ‘Please hurry back to me.’

“You will.” Clarke nodded and Lexa knew that meant, ‘I’ll do everything humanly possible to make it back as soon as possible.’ “I trust that Raven has given you the radio for updates on my search for king roan.”

“She has.”

Clarke nodded taking one last look at her beautiful, gorgeous girlfriend before making her toward the rover.

* * *

They arrived at Luna’s clan just before nightfall, it was unexpected seeing as Clarke had no real way of warning the girl that they were coming but Luna welcomed them with open arms.

“This is unexpected, are you hunting someone on my lands?” Luna asks giving the blonde a hug,

“Sort of.” Clarke replied, “This is my friend Echo by the way.”

“Hi.” Echo waved and Luna smiled greeting her as well,

“It’s nice to meet you Echo.”

“We’re hunting someone and according to a lead someone in your clan has seen him.” Clarke said,

“Well, you know you’re welcome to ask around it is late though, so I do recommend waiting until morning. You and Echo are welcome to stay here for the night.”

“Thank you, Luna.” The blonde smiled, she had stayed with the woman before while on other jobs and always appreciated the hospitality.

Once they were situated in their rooms Clarke pulled out her radio,

“Commander.” It was possible Lexa was still in a meeting or around others, so she tried to keep it official, 

“Clarke?”

God, she missed that voice already,

“Hi, are you busy?” Clarke asked,

“I am never too busy for you Clarke.”

“I miss you already, is that pathetic?”

“If it is then I am also pathetic.” Lexa smiled, “How is going?”

“We arrived pretty late; we took a detour to Arkadia for fuel so Bellamy could get back to Polis, so we have to wait til morning to talk to people.”

“I hope you learn something.”

“Me too baby.” Clarke sighed, “Tell me about your day?”

* * *

The next morning Clarke woke up beyond eager to get out and investigate so after a quick breakfast that’s exactly what her and Echo did.

“Maybe I can help, who are you looking for?” Luna asked them as they walked through the village,

“Prince Roan of Azgeda.” Clarke answered,

“Oh.” Luna said looking around, “I guess I do know someone, but before I take you to her you have to promise not to harm her.”

“We’re not here to hurt anyone Luna, if someone here knows something it would be helpful.” Clarke said, “You know me Luna, I always keep my word.”

“Ok.” She nodded finally, “Follow me.”

It was still early but most people were up and about either setting up their posts or doing laundry some even just lounging around. Luna’s clan was always calm and peaceful no matter what was going on outside of it, it was one thing Clarke loved most about being here.

For the most part there were no warriors just families some of which who have sought out a home in the clan because they were tired of fighting. In a way Luna had created her own haven similar to the one Lexa’s father created many years ago.

They arrived at small house where Luna told them to wait outside while she went in.

“Do you trust her?” Echo asked lowly examining the house and their surroundings,

“Luna’s a friend she wouldn’t do anything to us.”

Echo nodded still opting to keep her guard up just in case,

When Luna returned a few minutes later she invited both girls inside where another woman was sitting. The house wasn’t big, but it was nice, and Clarke could see wooden kids’ toys scattered around the floor so it must be a family home.

“This is Ysobelle, before joining us she was a part of small group of nomads that travel through the clans.” Luna explained,

The woman was young maybe a few years older than Clarke, she had long black hair and piercing blue eyes. She was beautiful but Clarke didn’t understand what she had to do with Roan.

“I’m Clarke.”

“I’ve heard stories of you, the mountain slayer.” She said examining the blonde thoroughly, “I expected you to be more intimidating.”

“You caught me on a good day.” She smiled, “Luna says you may be able to help us, how exactly.”

“You’re looking for Roan, as Luna said I was apart of a group mostly filled with people who decided to leave there clans. The leader of that group is Roan.”

“I don’t understand a Prince is the leader to a group of ex clan members?” Clarke asked,

“They don’t know who he is, most people outside of Azgeda have never seen him before.” Ysobelle explained,

“It’s true.” Echo said, “People weren’t allowed into Azgeda territory and few were allowed to leave.”

“But you know who he is.” Clarke said to the woman,

“Many years ago, I was Azgeda but when the commander ended the last war I fled, Roan was a teenager then and we never crossed paths, but I knew who he was everyone there does.”

“So, then you know where they are?”

“Not exactly but I know where they were.” She said, “A month ago we were traveling through the dead zone and I came across a child. It was abandoned because of a defect and I couldn’t leave her, so I brought her along. She was a baby, and we had no supplies to take care of a yongon, but I refused to leave her behind. Once we got to the spot that was chosen to settle in, I realized there was no way I could take care of a baby and be on the move as much as we were, so I left. I found this place and I haven’t looked back. The way the group works is we never stay anywhere permanently only a month at a time. I can give you directions to the place they were settled but there’s a possibility they might already be gone.”

Clarke pulled out her map giving it to the woman who drew them directions. Once they were done Clarke thanked her and they headed back to Luna’s for their things.

“You know this is the opposite direction of Polis, right?” Echo said and Clarke nodded,

“I know, finishing packing the stuff I need to use the radio.”

It was early and Clarke new Lexa was awake she just hoped she wasn’t training because they really needed to talk. The day definitely didn’t turn out as planned but she got her lead and she needed to take it.

“Commander it’s Wanheda are you there?” Clarke said waiting by for a reply, she knew Lexa would understand but she was dreading having this conversation right now.

“Clarke, I’m here?” Lexa said, sounding a little out of breathe,

“Are you ok?”

“I may have ran in order to reply to this call.” She said and Clarke couldn’t help but laugh, “Is everything ok?”

“It’s fine we got a lead, a really good lead and even a possible location on Roan.”

“That’s good, why do I feel like there is something more?” Lexa said and Clarke sighed on the other end,

“This lead has a time limit and if he want to catch him, we have to leave now, which means I can’t come back to Polis.” Clarke said hearing nothing but silence,

“Oh.” The brunette finally said,

“But this is good because if we catch him them, I can be back sooner we just have to go now. We’re stopping by Arkadia for some supplies and Luna is lending us a couple of horses. I promise I’m doing everything I can to get back to you.”

“I understand Clarke, just be carful and I lo-.” Lexa paused catching herself, she would Clarke she loved her when she got back not over a radio call, “I’ll be here when you return with Roan.”

“I’m glad you believe in me.” Clarke smiled; she was sure Lexa was going to say something else, but she probably heard wrong.

“Of course, I believe in you I wish I could be by your side but even though physically I am not you have my necklace which means I’m always with you.”

Clarke gripped the necklace around her neck tightly, smiling at the comfort it gave her.

“You have my watch so know that means the same, I have to go but we’ll talk soon I promise.”

“We’ll talk soon.” Lexa reassured,

By the time Clarke made it outside Echo was waiting with the horses and their bags. Hunting people wasn’t knew to her, but the stakes were higher on this one. She needed to see this through and find the prince but mostly she needed to hurry so she can make it make to Lexa.

“Ready?” Echo asked,

“Let's get this shit over with." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed, i'm enjoying flipping the script and having Clarke hunt Roan this time around! Let me know what you guys think and as always i love you for reading!!!


	23. The Order

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meet Roan  
> Clarke being stupid  
> And Lexa being well HEDA
> 
> sorry for mistakes!

It had been only two days since Clarke had left for her mission and Lexa was fine. Truthfully, she missed the girl, but she knew this was something that needed to happen in order to further her agenda and that is peace. She needed Roan, without a leader Azgeda will become unruly and they couldn’t have that. The last thing any of them needed was a war but she knew Azgeda, she knew their ways and if they didn’t do something soon, they would make the first move.

Then there was the matter of Nia since her demise she has been living out he days in the dungeon with little to no contact. Lexa knew what she wanted to happen to her, she wanted her dead she wanted revenge. But as commander she cannot let revenge fuel her ambitions, she has to think out every choice down to the detail because she can’t make mistakes.

Every choice has to be perfect and with the ambassadors already breathing down her neck she knew there was no room for error.

“Heda.”

Lexa looked up from her book that she had been trying to read for the better part of the morning to find Anya. Her best friend and confidant, if there was ever anyone, she could share her doubts and concerns with it’s her.

“You sent for me?”

“Yes.” Lexa said motioning for her to take a seat, “I wanted to discuss some matters with you.”

Anya nodded signaling for her to continue.

“First, I have a question, do you plan on making Polis your permanent residence?”

“What?” the blonde asked clearly taken a back,

“I know TonDC is your home, but you’ve been spending an ample amount of time here.” Lexa explained, “So I was wondering if you would be relinquishing your duties as the chiefs second.”

“Lexa, I don’t understand the purpose of this conversation. I’m still Elena’s second.”

“Are you saying you will be returning to TonDC?”

“Is this you subtly telling me I should?” she rebuffed,

“No, you are being way too defensive about this.” Lexa points out, “This is me genuinely asking where you plan to live.”

“My responsibilities are in TonDC.” She states matter of factly,

“But?”

The older girl sighed leaning back in her chair,

“But Raven is here, and she tends to want to be wherever Clarke is and….”

“You want to be where Raven is.” The brunette finishes,

“I’m pathetic.” She huffed,

“You’re in love, and I understand that’s why I’m giving you the option. You can return to TonDC and help my nomon run the village or you can stay here and be my second.”

Anya gasped as soon as the words left the younger girl’s mouth, commanders rarely take seconds and when they do is considered the most honorable position in the ranks.

“I trust you with my life Anya and right now trust is running scarce within these walls. Having you by my side would be an honor but ultimately the choice is yours, no matter what I’ll respect it.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Anya said still shocked,

“Say nothing, I don’t need an answer right away for now think about it discuss it with Raven do what you must just make sure you’re choosing the best choice for you.”

“I will.” She nodded, “Have you spoken with Clarke?”

“No, she warned me that the connection for the radio would be in and out. She’ll contact me when she can.”

“And you’re ok?”

“I’m fine Anya.” She answered, the older girl giving her a look, “I can’t sit here and worry about Clarke, I trust that she can get this done and there are things here that need my focus.”

“I’m just checking in, plus Raven’s been worried about the no radioing thing.”

“Clarke is fine.” she says not only trying to convince Anya but herself, “She’s a warrior and she’s strong she can handle this.”

Lexa would lying is she hadn’t been the tiniest bit concerned, thinking of Clarke in woods with unknown dangers made her worry and she couldn’t do that. She had to stay above and focus on the tasks ahead.

“I wonder what their doing right now.” Anya said, causing Lexa to shrug.

She had no clue but if she had to guess probably fighting their way through the forest.

* * *

* * *

“So, let me get this straight.” Echo said, “Katniss volunteered for her sister in the first book so she wouldn’t die only to have her die in the last book anyways?”

“Essentially yes.” Clarke answered, they were two days into their journey, and they were nearing the destination marked on the map. They hadn’t run into many people or danger which was good but also left them with a lot of time to talk.

Clarke hadn’t really had time to get to know Echo before, but this time allowed for a lot of getting to know each other and it was nice.

That was until they were hunting, and Clarke said Echo looked like Katniss with her bow and arrow and that spiraled into her explaining all three hunger games books as they walked back to their horses. Honestly, she didn’t mind much, it filled the time, and it was funny to see Echo’s reactions to different plot points.

“Did Katniss at least get her revenge?” Echo asked,

“Yes, she killed Coin who was responsible and never talked to Gale again because he knew it was going to happen.”

“Good.” Echo said whole heartedly, “Skai people books sound very intriguing.”

“They are, I’ll bring you some the next time I visit Arkadia.”

“Really?” Echo smiled,

“Really.” She nodded, “My brain hurts from spilling all my knowledge of three books, let’s talk about something else. Like you a Bell boy.” She smirked, “How’s that going?”

“Me and Bellamy are good.” She answered,

“That’s all I get? You’re good, give me all the deetz!”

“Deetz?” she asked confused by the term, “I’m not sure what that one means.” Since their journey began Clarke had been saying words Echo had no clue existing which led to a lot of explaining.

“It means details.” She laughed,

“Oh, well I really like Bellamy he’s nice and caring. He respects my boundaries and that’s something I’ve never had. He doesn’t make me do things I don’t want to do and he perfect.” She smiled, “not to mention he is very satisfactory in bed.”

“Good for you.” Clarke smirked, she was happy Bellamy found someone and happy for Echo as well.”

“You and the commander seem to be moving quite fast.” Echo said taking Clarke by surprise.”

“Fuck you!”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” Echo laughed, “Sometimes I feel like everything with Bellamy is happening fast too, not in a bad way, but my feelings are becoming more than I’d expect in such a short amount of time.”

Clarke sighed, she definitely understood that,

“When I first met Lexa, I felt something between us and now that we’re together I do think things are moving at a quick pace.” Clarke said honestly, “For a while I didn’t think that scared me but it’s kind of does. My feelings for her are stronger than I thought possible but being with her makes me happy and happiness seems rare these days. So, I think we both need to stop questioning it and enjoy it.”

“Wanheda, mountain slayer and love expert.” Echo grinned,

“Yeah, yeah just don’t tell anyone I’m already losing my fear factor apparently.”

“I think you’re pretty scary.” She smiled,

“Duh.” Just then Clarke felt the wind being knocked out of her and the next thing she knew she was twenty feet up in the air looking at the trees suddenly in the sky somehow. “Fuck.”

“Hunting trap.” Echo says lowly scanning the area for scavengers,

“I think I’m going to puke.” Her head was spinning, and everything was sort of blurry from hitting her head on the way up. One leg was stuck on the rope with was holding her up but she still had her weapons so it should be easy to get down.

“Stay calm.”

“I’m going to cut it.” She reached for her knife that was holstered to her waist before trying to reach the rope to no avail, “Dammit I should’ve done sit ups like Anya told me.”

“Wait.” Echo ordered reaching for her bow and an arrow, “Someone’s coming just stay calm and I’ll be back.”

“You can’t just leave me!” Clarke hissed,

“Just trust me Clarke.” She sighed before carefully walking into the woods leaving the blonde to dangle from the tree.

A minute later Clarke could hear voices coming towards her, they were speaking Trigedasleng, but she could understand some words since she was still learning.

The voices were faint, but she could hear them saying hainofa which she knew meant prince.

“Roan.” She murmured to herself, what could they want with him? It’s possible they could be apart of his group but Ysobelle said they didn’t know he was the prince.

Another second later she hear Azplana and she knew these people couldn’t be up to anything good if they were talking about Nia.

“Look what we have here.” She heard her eyes snapping to the voice, she was so caught up in her own head she didn’t even know they had gotten so close. There were four of them.

Her stomach turned instantly as she saw their scarred faces and white face paint, there was no question in her mind. _They were Azgeda._

“Seems we made out better than we hoped boys. It’s the all-powerful Wanheda.” He grinned looking up at the blonde,

“So, you’ve heard of me.” She yelled back getting some laughs from the men,

“Our Haiplana will be happy to see we’ve captured you.”

“Hate to break it to you but your queen probably will never be happy again unless dungeons and gross food is her thing.”

“You think you know more than you do Wanheda but don’t worry the order will be restored soon.” He smirked.

 _What the hell does that mean_ , Clarke wondered but obviously it couldn’t be good.

“ ** _Breik em au_** _!”_ he said ordering two men towards the tree and Clarke was starting to panic, she was good but not fight four huge Viking’s all alone good.

“Right now, would be a good time for you to do something Echo.” She murmured looking for the girl to no avail. The men were already hard at work lowering her down from the tree when she saw something fly past her then a loud groan a second later. Before She could process what was happening she felt the tight grip of the rope loosen and a second later she was crashing to the ground.

“Ahh.” She groaned; her head hit the solid ground hard causing her to feel disoriented. She tried to stand but everything was blurry as she looked around her, there were three large lumps slumped over on the ground that she assumed were the bodies of the Azgeda but there was one missing.

Right on cue she felt rough hands grab her by the hair forcing her to her feet,

“So much for the intimating all fearful Wanheda.” He snickered, but Clarke could barely make out his face, “Intimidating is the last word I use to describe you sky girl.”

“Fuck you” She mumbled,

“I would kill you, but I need a prize to return with but don’t worry your death is coming and it will be painful.” He smiled.

“So, will yours.” She heard a voice say before the blurred sight of the man disappeared and she felt herself falling back to the ground,

“Clarke!” Echo caught the blonde cradling her checking for injuries, “Are you ok?”

“Thought you were leaving me behind there for a second.” She smiled lazily,

“Never, did he hurt you? What happened?”

“Nothing, I- I’m fine I fell headfirst so I’m a bit out of it, but I’ll be ok.” She assured, her vison clearing but her raging headache only getting worst.

“You don’t look fine Clarke.” Echo replied watching as the blonde squeezed her eyes shut and cradled her head,

“I just need a minute.” She sighed, “They were talking about Nia.”

“I heard, I also heard them discussing Roan before they approached you.” Echo said, “Listen Clarke, I don’t recognized them, but they seem to be from Azgeda which I’m sure you pieced together, if I had to guess I’d say they were loyal followers of Nia.”

“He said the order will be restored soon; I don’t know what that means but Nia’s in Polis. The way they were making it seem like they were going to break her out.” Clarke said noticing the other girls face turn dark, “What?”

“That’s what they were saying.” Echo murmured before quickly walked over to the now dead men, “If what I’m thinking is right then these people actually aren’t Azgeda.”

“What the hell are you talking about Echo?” the blonde asked watching as the girl grabbed one of the mans lips peeling it back revealing something Clarke couldn’t see but Echo gasp told her it wasn’t good. “Echo.”

“When he said the order will be restored, he didn’t mean Nia he literally mean _the order_ , they’re a group.” She explained,

“I don’t understand.” Clarke walked over to the body looking at the man, to her they all looked Azgeda.

“Long ago Azgeda and Sankru were one.”

“Lexa told me.” Clarke interrupted, “She said after years of fighting a group broke off and became their own clan.”

“That is right and ever since Ice nation and the desert people have hated each other. Sankru feels as if they were banished to unlivable lands, they think Azgeda is their birth right.”

“So, they want the land?” Clarke asked,

“They want revenge Clarke.”

“The way Lexa explained it seems like they left on their own.”

“They did but only because the king refused to meet their requests, they felt unheard and abandoned by their leadership. So, they made the decision to leave. The details are foggy this is seventy years ago, but one thing is clear, Sankru has something planned.”

“I still don’t understand Echo, what the hell is the order?”

“They’re a group formed to restore what they call the rightful order; they want to kill Nia and take back what they think is rightfully theirs.”

“But he said his queen will be happy to see me.” Clarke points out, “So maybe they are Azgeda and they work for Nia.”

“Look at this.” Echo motioned for her to get closer, she pulled back the man’s lip again revealing a small tattoo on the inside, “This was the symbol for Azgeda before the two clans split.”

Clarke looked down at the small symbol, she recognized it except the desert clan mark was intertwined with the Azgeda mark forming one singular symbol.

“When he said hid Queen, he didn’t mean Nia.” Echo added, “He meant the leader of the order.”

“So, what does this mean? How do you know so much about this?”

“I was an Azgeda spy Clarke.” She pointed out, “Plus I was the one who killed half of the members.” She sighed, before explaining further. “About six years ago word spread of a group that was vowing to end Nia’s reign and restore Azgeda. At first it seemed like some sort of uprising Azgeda citizens were starting because they wanted to overthrow Nia. But after the first attack it was clear that wasn’t the case, Sankru had spies inside posing as Azgeda warriors and one night they attacked the castle almost killing Nia. She captured two members who were siblings and tortured them. She threatened to kill one of the other didn’t tell her everything, but they refused. So instead, Nia made one watch as the other got tortured only stopping when he decided to talk. He gave up the location where the other where hiding and Nia had me, and a couple others kill them. That was the last I heard of the order until today.” 

Clarke’s head was spinning and wasn’t sure if it was because of her fall or because of the information dump she just received. When she accepted this job, she didn’t expect it to lead to new of a rebellion, she thought it would be simple. Find the prince and deliver him but now everything was so much more complicated, and she couldn’t focus because her head was still aching beyond explanation.

“Clarke?”

_It’s like should feel her brain physically throbbing in her skull begging to be freed from all the pressure._

“Clarke?”

_God, and there’s a ringing a stupid deafening ring filling her ears and she can’t make it stop. Where the hell is it even coming from?”_

“CLARKE!” Echo grabbed the girl’s shoulders shaking her a bit so she would regain focus, Clarke could see the worry in the girl’s eyes, but she was fine, “You’re not ok.”

“I’m fine Echo.”

“I said your name several times Clarke and it was like I wasn’t even there, and you keep holding your head and squeezing your eyes shut! You’re not fine!” she yelled, “I’m taking you back.”

“No!” Clarke yelled, wincing at her own voice “We’re only hours away from the location, we have to finish this.”

“If I’m right about this Clarke we need to warn the commander and you need a healer.”

“We also need to find Roan, give me the radio.”

“It hasn’t worked for days Clarke.”

“Because we’ve been trying to radio Polis, it’s far. We’re closer to Arkadia and they have a beacon so it should be strong enough for them to hear. They can warn Lexa we can get Roan, if not already too late.” She sighed waiting for the girl to hand her the radio from the bag.

“Here, tell them to tell Lexa to find Ontari she’ll be able to explain.” Echo said hanging her the receiver, Clarke silently wincing as she reach out for it. Her muscles felt weak and she was dizzy and nauseous, and her head felt like it was about to explode but she had fight it. They needed to finish this.

“Arkadia this is Clarke Griffin is anyone there?” She asks releasing the button only to hear static on the other end, “Arkadia this is-.”

“Clarke Griffin yeah, yeah we know.” 

“Wells.” She smiled hearing the voice,

“It’s good to hear your voice Clarke, I hear you’re out on a mission. My oldest friend is a badass who knew?” he joked,

“Everyone.” She smirked,

“Cocky as ever, I assume you called for more than an ego boost.”

“I did.” She sighed, “I need you to get a message to Polis, Raven will probably answer tell her this is important.”

* * *

* * *

Training ended for the day and the yards were emptying out leaving only Lexa and Gustus who was her lucky spar partner today. Training has always been a good outlet and she never backed down to a challenge so when Gustus asked she accepted. She knew it was more about spending time together than actually training but she didn’t mind.

“I see your skills have only improved strikon.” He coughed, picking himself off the after Lexa successfully disarmed him for the fifth time.

“Maybe you are just getting too old.” She smiled, putting her stick with the others before taking a seat in the patchy grass,

“Could be that.” He laughed joining her, “What is one your mind strikon?”

“Azgeda.” She said truthfully, “We have yet come up with a solution and I fear waiting will only make Azgeda citizens and warriors want to attack.”

“What do the ambassadors want you to do?” he asks,

“Dismantle Azgeda as a clan and divide the land.”

“But you don’t want that?”

“I want what I’ve always wanted and that peace.” She said wholeheartedly, “I want all of the clans to be one but that doesn’t mean I don’t want them to embrace their own clans as well. I would never asks any of my people to disassociate themselves from their clan and wont do it to them either. Our clan is what we are if someone took Trikru from me I would feel lost.”

“So, then Heda what is it that you want to do with Azgeda?”

“I want to appoint a new leader and bring them into my coalition, I expect there will be loyal Nia supporter, but I am prepared for them to suffer the same fate as her if they try to stand in my way.”

“You formed the council as a way to appoint input not for people to tell you what to do. You are commander, _you are Heda_ and what you say ranks way above anything they say.” Gustus said, “You asked for their input not a solution, the ambassadors feel they have too much power, it’s time for you to take it back.”

“LEXA! shit I mean commander!”

The brunette turned seeing an out of breathe Raven running her way,

“Raven what’s wrong?” she asked,

“I just got a radio call from Wells.” She said, “He has message from Clarke.”

It was then her stomach dropped, a message from Clarke a message. From Ravens urgency alone she could tell it wasn’t good.

“I’ll explain everything inside, but I need to find Ontari, Clarke says she’ll be able to clarify everything.” Raven said,

“Gustus, Anya and have her retrieve Ontari and bring her to the tower. Make sure she knows she is not in trouble and tell her it is about Clarke and Echo.” She order the man,

“Sha Heda.” He bowed before heading off in the opposite direction.

“Let’s go.” Lexa order the younger girl who followed no questions asked.

* * *

* * *

When to Lexa’s private study she ordered all of the guards out before allowing Raven to explain. She listened patiently to every detail as the girl reiterated what Wells told her.

She knew something was coming but if this information was correct, she was wrong about whom it would be coming from. Her and Sankru don’t have the best relationship and when it came to their loyalty, she knew there was none. They accepted her invitation into the coalition because they were backed into a wall not because they agreed with Lexa’s vision. Like Azgeda, Sankru was selfish and power hungry and only craved success and prosperity for their own whereas Lexa wanted it for them all.

She was surprised to hear about this group ‘the order’ as she’s never heard of it before, but she assumed that was Ontari’s part in this.

When the young girl arrived Lexa could tell she was scared, and she felt bad for worrying her, but this was important.

“Lexa what’s going on?” Anya asks as she escorted the girl in,

“We heard from Clarke and Echo.”

“Are they ok?” Ontari asked quickly,

“As far as we know they are fine, but they have given us some information.” Lexa stated, “Apparently they have come across some people who are apart of a group called the order.” She watched as the girl’s eyes went wide before confusion washed over her face,

“That’s not possible.” She finally said, “Nia had them all killed years ago.” 

“What the hell is the order?” Anya asked,

They all sat as Ontari told them everything she knew, starting with the attack and how Nia tortured two member to seeing Echo arrive home from what could only be described as a massacre of the order members.

“Echo says they killed them all.” Ontari said wrapping up the story,

“Apparently they regrouped.” Raven said,

“How do we not know about this?” Anya asked, mostly looking to Lexa,

“If it was six years ago It must’ve been as I was still forming the coalition.” Lexa said, it also must’ve been the reason they joined so they could regroup.

“If they are back then I wouldn’t be surprised if they had spies in Polis.” Ontari added, “They’re main goal was to kill Nia and any other person of royal blood, they will come for her. If they knew where Roan was, they’d probably hunt him down too.”

Roan, Lexa thought, if they had the same lead as Clarke that could explain how they crossed paths and there could me more and she could be in danger.

“It would be impossible to know who was a spy here in Polis.” Anya said breaking Lexa’s thought. “People of all the clans live and visit here every day, if they are here it could be easy for them to attack.”

“They do have a tell.” Ontari said, “A tattoo, it’s on the inside of their lips. It the Azgeda symbol before Sankru split off.”

“We can’t exactly go around opening people’s mouths.” Anya replied and Ontari rolled her eyes,

“I’m just trying to help.”

“And you have.” Lexa assured, “Thank you Ontari, this information is very useful.”

“Your welcome heda.” She bowed before turning to Raven, “I want to talk to her on your device.”

“The connection isn’t strong enough wherever Echo and Clarke are.” Raven said sadly seeing the desperation on the kids face, “I can try and radio Arkadia and maybe Wells will be able to get through to them.”

Ontari nodded,

“What are you going to do?” Anya asked Lexa who had been incredibly quiet the past few minutes. She knew her brain was working on some plan by now.

“I’m going to talk to the desert clan’s ambassador.” She said plainly, before turning to Raven, “Bring the radio here, if you hear anything let me know and ask Bellamy to come and see me.” 

“Ok.” Raven nodded grabbing Ontari before leaving the room,

“I don’t say this often, but you are kind of scaring me.” Anya had no clue what Lexa had planned but by her face she knew someone was probably going to die.

Lexa only gave her a small smile before yelling for one of her guards, tonight she would be doing just as Gustus said. She was taking her power back. 

“Ask the fleimkeppa to summon the Sankru Ambassador, I want her in my throne room in ten minutes.” She ordered before turning to Anya, “Consider this a trial run as my second.”

“This definitely isn’t good.” Anya mumbled to herself before following the brunette of the room.

* * *

* * *

The word headache could no longer be used to describe the amount of pain Clarke was feeling right now. She wasn’t even sure migraine could, but she kept telling herself to fight it.

The sun was setting, and they were almost to the location they were given which gave her hope. Hope, that she could finish this and take an incredibly long nap in Lexa’s arms back in Polis preferably with pain killers.

“Wait.” Echo whispered, crouching down behind a tree Clarke following suit.

_“Prince Roan, hiding among nomads like a coward.”_

“Did you hear that?” Clarke asks trying to get a good view moving a couple trees ahead,

_“If you’re here to kill me just get it over with.”_

Clarke could feel Echo behind her as they both peered through the trees trying to get a good look to no avail.

“Here, hold this I’m going to see if I can get numbers and we’ll go from there.”

Clarke took her bag and bow watching the girl easily scale a tree before disappearing into the darkness. She tried to listen further, but the voice had become lower and the only thing she could hear was once again the throbbing.

“Dammit not right now.” She cursed quietly,

A minute later she felt a hand on her shoulder looking over to see Echo,

“I counted six not including Roan, I can get four from the trees but the other two might be out of range.”

“You saw him?” Clarke asked verifying that she heard right,

“Yes, he was there.” She nodded but her face didn’t look like they were close to completing their mission, “There are bodies everywhere Clarke, I don’t know what happened here, but it was bad.”

“Too many bodies for six men to kill?”

“Yes.”

“Then we need to hurry, there could be more. Worry about the shots you can make I’ll deal with the others.”

Echo nodded grabbing her arrows, a part of her didn’t want to leave Clarke alone. Despite what the blonde kept repeating Echo could see clear as day that she hit her head harder than she’s letting on, but she also knew Clarke wouldn’t stop until they did this. So instead, she went over the plan before once again scaling the tree once more.

Clarke hid their bags before retrieving her sword and some other weapons she packed. Quietly she made her way through the forest hearing the voice become louder until finally she could see the men.

Three were checking over the scattered bodies while a few feet away a man was being held to his knees by two men while another stood in front of them.

Roan.

Clarke had no expectations for how the man would look but she knew he’d be huge like every grounder which he was. His face was scarred like many Azgeda and his dark brown hair hung just above his shoulders. Just by his face alone Clarke could tell he looked defeated, like he had no sense of hope left. She didn’t know what happened here but whatever it was must’ve broken him.

She took a deep breathe before looking down at her sword, more specifically the blue jewel on the handle. This was the sword Lexa gave her before mount weather and for months she could barley look at it but right now she needed all the strength the brunette could give her.

“My head is making me crazy and I think I might actually throw up, but I promise I’m going to get back to you.” She whispered, placing a small kiss on the jewel before standing up.

On cue she watched arrows pierce the three men looking over the bodies before killing one of the men holding Roan.

Clarke grabbed one of her daggers before running towards the two outstanding men throwing the dagger landing in the eye of the last one holding Roan before running her sword through the remaining man. For good measure she slit both of their throats before checking on Roan who was still on his knees unfazed by what just happened.

“They’re dead you can get up.” Clarke said not really sure what to say, “Hello?”

“Roan.” Echo said from behind the blonde finally getting his attention, a sea of recognition washed over his face before he looked to Clarke who gave him a simple wave.

“Echo?”

“It is good to see you again hainofa.” She held out her hand to him which he took after a second of thinking, “What happened here?”

“The order.” He said knowingly, “They killed them all, they were innocent. All of them they didn’t deserve this.”

It was then that Clarke pieced together that this was the ex-clan group Ysobelle told them about. There had to be at least twenty bodies surrounding them.

“I’m sorry about your friends.” Clarke said getting the man’s attention, “But we need to go, there could be more, and I’d rather not fight anyone else today.”

“I’m not coming.” He said,

“I think you misunderstand.” Clarke replied, “I’m not asking, you are coming with us and we’re leaving now!”

* * *

* * *

“Heda, you sent for me?”

“Yes, Sivara please take a seat.” Lexa offered, gesturing to the chair opposite of her, “I don’t think we had the chance for formally meet since you’ve taken over for Torin. I do apologize for that; I hear he was a friend of yours.”

“Yes, me and Torin trained together as children in Sankru but I understand he’s never been good at biting his tongue.” The woman replied coolly,

“Yes, well I’m sure he understood it quite well as he was falling from my tower.”

“I’m sure.” She agreed,

“It’s late and I know you probably want to go to bed soon so I’ll make this quick.” Lexa said, “My purpose for calling you here was solely based on me wanting your input on Azgeda.”

“Shouldn’t all the ambassadors be here?” She asks and Lexa could see a hint of worry in her expression,

“The ambassadors have made their stance crystal clear and since you are new, I wanted to know yours.” Lexa could see she wasn’t budging so she cranked up the volume, “History is no secret among our people, and we all know the tyranny Azgeda has been issuing for decades. But what most people don’t recognize is no matter how much we’ve all suffered by the hands of Azgeda, Sankru has suffered the most.”

Bingo!

“I’m glad you recognize that Heda.” She said a tinge of happiness in her voice, “Many Sankru citizens would be happy to hear it as well.”

“That is a big reason why I’ve called you here, throughout all of this discussion of what to do with Azgeda never once has the option to reintegrate Sankru to the lands come up. As commander I want all of my people to be happy and I know the desert isn’t the ideal place for a home. So, tell me Sivara, do you think that sound like something your clan will consider.”

“Absolutely Heda.” She practically cheered.

Lexa flicked her eyes to Anya who was behind her, this was too easy, and she didn’t even have her fun yet.

“The people of Sankru have waited decades to reclaim our home.” She continued, “We have been waiting for justice to be implemented.”

“I would like justice to be implemented to Sivara, I’m hoping together we can make it happen.” She smiled, “What would you say is justice?”

“Punishing those responsible.”

“You mean Nia.”

“I do.” She nodded, “You want her dead as well and she deserves to die.”

“I agree, she does indeed.”

“Then there is the prince, he needs to pay too.” Sivara spat,

“Hm.” Lexa hummed, nodding at Anya before looking back to the woman, “Seems like you have this all planned out Sivara which makes me believe you may just be apart of something I’ve just learned existed. I’m sure you’ve heard of it though it’s called the order.”

The woman’s faced paled as the name left the commanders lips,

“You don’t have to confirm, your face says it all.” Lexa smiled, watching the woman rise from her chair only to be pushed back down by Anya “We’re not done.”

“What the hell is this?” she yells,

“This is me being tried of my ambassadors thinking they can come into my home and undermine me during meetings and betray me by going behind my back.”

The woman was still struggling to move but Anya’s grip was tight, Lexa on the other hand was in no mood for the woman to be squirming around. She stood from her chair walking over to another table that held her weapons.

Slowly she chose two of the sharpest daggers before walking back to her seat,

“Hold her hands out.” Lexa said and Anya obeyed,

Lexa took both daggers stabbing them into the backs of the woman’s hands so that they were stuck to the table.

“That’s better.” She said before sitting back in her chair, blood was covering the table and Sivara’s cries were filling the room to Lexa’s annoyance. “Stop your crying or I’ll do your feet too.” That seemed to do the trick as the cries subsided, but the clear look of pain was there. “Now what was I saying?”

“I think you left off talking about your branwoda ambassadors.” Anya replied,

“Ah yes, much like you Sivara my other ambassadors think their clans deserve something or their owed something, but have I not given you all more than need be?” she asked, “That wasn’t rhetorical.”

Anya took one of the daggers and twisted causing the woman to scream,

“The answer was yes.” Lexa snubbed, “I have and what I get, disobedient ungrateful subjects but that all ends today. So, let’s find out is Sivara apart of this elusive ‘Order’? What do you think Anya?”

“I think she’s too weak to be apart of group let alone one created to ‘restore order’.” She quipped causing the woman’s head to fly back in an attempt to head but the woman, but Anya was quicker as she grabbed her loose braids tightly.

“Weak but definitely spirited.” Lexa laughed, “Alright the mystery is killing me.”

Lexa leaned forward and while Anya hold the woman’s head still, she grabbed her bottom lip checking for the tattoo Ontari told them about.

“Looks like you were wrong Anya.” She said staring down the symbol, “Maybe the were running out of people willing to join.”

“Must be it.” Anya smirked throwing the woman’s head forward.

Just then Bellamy and Murphy entered with two of her people in chains,

“It’s done Heda and I also have what you asked Raven for.” Bellamy said before kicking both men to their knees.

“Very well, thank you both.” She nodded, “Take your seat Bellamy the others will be joining us soon Anya will take Ravens package, and Murphy you are more than welcome to stay for the show.”

* * *

* * *

“Who is this?” Roan asked turning towards Echo,

“This is Clarke, she was hired by the commander to find you.” Echo answered,

“The commander.” He mumbled to himself, “Why?”

“Your mother has been captured leaving Azgeda with no leader.” Clarke replied,

“I left that all behind me for a reason, plus this is where me being a leader led these people. Azgeda is better off.”

“What do you mean you left?” Echo asked the man who sighed,

“After my mother ordered you to kill Klara I ran, I knew what my life would be from there on out and I didn’t want it.” He said, “When I heard the whispers of my banishment it didn’t surprise me one bit that she was trying to control the narrative.”

“Your mother is very good at control.” Echo sighed, “And I’m sorry-.”

“Don’t Echo.” He interrupted, “I understand Ontari’s life was at stake plus I left that behind me years ago.”

“Still, I am sorry, and I know you may not want to, but we need you. Azgeda needs hope, you know what it’s like there. Warriors aside there are good people there and they need help.” Echo pleaded, “If it wasn’t for Wanheda I’d still be there and so would your mother ruining lives but she’s not and they need their king.”

“I’ve heard of Wanheda Echo and I’m glad she could do that, but I can’t help.”

“Then I did it for no reason.” Clarke spoke up, “If you don’t come with us everything me, echo, Lexa and so many other did was for nothing.”

“You?” he looked her up and down before turning to Echo who nodded, “I expected someone more…….. menacing.”

“For fuck sake.” Clarke groaned,

“At least he didn’t say intimidating.” Echo chuckled,

“Sorry I’m not the big scary monster you imagined but here I am.” The blonde shrugged,

“You defeated the mountain.” Roan said in awe still surprised by the blonde’s identity, “There are rumors you are a mercenary.”

“On a good day.” She winked; it was getting old correcting everyone so mercenary it was.

“Interesting.”

“As much as I would really like to sit here and discuss me, we really need to go.” Clarke said,

“I appreciate you saving me, but I still can’t go with you.”

“Alright listen Roan, I know you may not want to be king and we don’t even know if that is Lexa’s reason for having found but it’s time for you to cut pity party. I understand the pain you must for all you’ve lost and for all of these people.” She said motioning to the bodies surrounding them, “But the dead are gone and there are still people who need saved. Maybe you never wanted to be King and I understand. I never wanted to be Wanheda, I never wanted to pull that lever at mount weather hell I never wanted to get into a hundred-year-old spaceship risking my life to come here but I did, and I would do it again if it meant saving my people. Clearly you have the desire to help people if you created your own faction but now it’s time to help _your_ people. And if you say no, I will use this, and you won’t have a choice.” She said reaching in her pocket for the reaper stick she took from Arkadia, “But I’d prefer not to because the thought of having to carry your obnoxiously huge unconscious body to the horses **_and then_** strap you in is making my head throb even more so please can we do this the easy way.”

It was silent for a second before Roan smiled slightly at the blonde who was taken aback by the action,

“Maybe you are a bit menacing, in a non-threatening but sort of threatening way.” He said finally,

“I’ll take it, so what do you say?”

“I will come with you, but I am not saying I will be the king, I’m coming to talk to Lexa.” He states but Clarke takes that as a win.

“I can work with that.”

* * *

* * *

“They are here, Heda.” Titus announces looking at the scene before it before looking back to Lexa,

“Let them in.” she ordered leaving her seat across from a still crying Sivara and sitting on her throne.

She watched quietly as the ambassadors filed in, all of them gasping at the sight of Sivara but none saying a word. Once everyone was seated Lexa ordered the doors closed and crossed her hands in her laps.

“You’re all wondering why you’re here and I would ask Sivara to explain but I don’t think she’ll be doing much talking anytime soon, or ever.” Lexa looked over to the woman who’s hands were still stuck to the table and a nail pinned to her lip which made the tattoo visible for all of them to see. “So, allow me, many of you in this room feel it is your right to tell me how to lead my people. You all think you can come here and disrespect me and order me to do whatever it is you feel should be what is implemented. But I’m here today to tell you- no remind you that all of you are here because I allowed it. All of your clans are alive and thriving because I gave them what they need to do it not because of you and not because of their leaders. **I am the only leader** and what I say will be final, so after today whoever is left will find that the counsel will operate like you’ve never seen. But first we have matters to attend to.”

Lexa nodded for the guards to bring forward the two men Bellamy escorted in.

“Both of you have been accused of posing as guards to my royal guards in a plot to kidnap the queen.” Lexa said eyeing both men, “How do you plead?”

“ ** _Wamplei kom heda!_** ” one of them spat, (death to the commander)

“How about you.” Lexa asked the other who simply spit on the ground before turning his head away, “That makes this quicker then.” Lexa stood from her throne, her blade in hand and walked down to the men. She made quick work of slitting both of their throats before returning to her throne.

“Tonight, I have discovered much more than my fleeting toleration for most of you in this room.” Lexa said, “Tonight I have discovered traitors and maybe even some spies.” The gasps were loud and the whispered had already started, “I won’t be interrupted!” she yelled, “As I was saying, I know who I can trust the only question who I can’t. Anya and Indra will be coming around to check something more me. All of you are to remain still and let them do as they were told.” She nodded for the woman to start.

She sat back and watched as they pated every ambassador down before checking their lips as well for good measure. Thankfully, there were no more tattoos but that still didn’t mean she trusted them.

“You’ve seen what happens to people who betray me and if I find out one of you has, I won’t hesitate to kill you.” She stated before turning to Indra, “I want Sivara bandaged and in a cage guarded by Gustus and no one else.”

“Sha Heda.”

“The rest of you get out of my sight.” She ordered watching as they all rushed out of the door leaving only a few.

“I’m impressed.” Murphy smirked, “But how do you know they aren’t still working against you?”

“I don’t but now thanks to Raven they’ll tell me themselves soon enough.” She smiled, she wasn’t well versed on much technology at all, but she remembered during their attack on Nia, Clarke wore something called a wire which recorded her voice so they could hear it. Luckily, she had a few left so while Anya and Indra were checking everyone, they slipped the wires on a select few ambassadors. Only the ones Lexa knew for a fact she couldn’t trust like Shadow Valley, Plains Riders, and Blue cliff people. They were the one’s besides the desert clan who always gave her the most trouble.

“Nice.” Murphy complimented after Bellamy explained the wires,

“What now Heda?” Anya asked, she couldn’t lie as much as she feared Lexa’s dark side, she also loved it. It made her realize just how perfect Clarke was for her since they both seem to have a teasing manor whilst holding people’s lives in their hands.

“Now you guys rest, I will join Raven by the radio and hope we get some news soon.”

* * *

* * *

Clarke, Echo and Roan made quick work of getting as far away as they could with the hopes of avoiding anymore desert people. They traveled through the night Clarke and Echo on one horse while Roan rode the other. It wasn’t until well into the next day they decided to break.

Clarke volunteered first watch so the other could rest, her head was getting worse and so was all the other symptoms. If medical training taught her anything it was how to diagnose, and she didn’t know specifics, but she was sure she had some sort of head injury. The smart thing would be to stop by Arkadia, but it was out of their way and she needed to make it Polis. She had clue what was going there or if Lexa got her warning. They couldn’t radio because Roan stupidly smashed the radio as he was getting on the horse so that wasn’t an option. But it was fine, Polis was less than a day’s ride and she could hold off that long she just needed to push through.

“You should rest Clarke.” Echo told her; it had been an hour since they stopped but Clarke had no plans to rest.

“I’m not tired.” She replied, but really, she was exhausted she just didn’t know what would happen once she closed her eyes.

“You’re too stubborn.” Echo huffed, “Clarke I am really worried.”

“I said I was fine!”

“I know what you said but it’s clearly not true!” she yelled back, getting Roans attention, “You obviously hit your head harder than you lead on.”

“I’m fine Echo, if you two are done resting I would like keep moving.”

She heard echo sigh as she walked back to the horses waiting for the pair to follow. She was fine, it was only a few more hours.

* * *

* * *

“Anything?” Anya asks setting down food for Raven, Lexa and Ontari who all refused to leave the radio all night and now into the day.

“Unless you want to hear stupid conversations about how crazy Lexa is then no.” Raven huffed,

“What about from Clarke?”

“Don’t you think I would’ve mentioned it if they had contacted?” Raven barked back,

“I won’t ask again.” Anya huffed before leaving the room,

“Ugh.” Raven sighed,

Lexa got up from her seat following after the woman,

“We’re all a little stressed right now.” Lexa offered, “She’s probably tired.”

“She is tired but that’s not the only reason she has an attitude with me.” Anya sighed before sliding down the wall, “I told her about your offer to be your second and to stay here.”

“She didn’t want you to take it?” Lexa asks,

“She does that’s the problem, she doesn’t understand why I would even need time to think about it. She doesn’t get that TonDC is my responsibility too, the only thing she cares about is being where Clarke is which I understand but not all of us are allowed to be that selfish.”

“Make her understand when the stress of all of this is over. Sit down and talk to her and explain how you feel and listen to her as well.”

“Heda the love guru.” She snorted, “Who would’ve thought.”

“I know.” Lexa laughed, “The world must be ending again.”

“We’re here so did the world ever really end?” Anya smirked,

“Lexa, we got something.” Ontari said from the door causing both girl to jump up,

The radio was silent, but the other machine Raven had was making noises,

**_ “Tell Visha we need to move now; the commander killed two already and has captured Sivara. If we don’t move now, they will kill her too.”  _ **

**_ “That is a few lives, we are fighting for all of us.”  _ **

**_ “Do you really think the commander will stop at Sivara and the to others? She will find us all out soon enough! Just get her the message!”  _ **

“Who is that?” Lexa asked, “The voice I don’t know it,”

“Shadow Valley.” Anya said, “I heard him talk yesterday while we were checking him. That’s his voice.”

“Ok.” Lexa nodded, “You know what to do.”

Anya nodded before leaving the room.

“Who the hell is Visha?” Raven asked,

“Head of the Desert clan army.” Lexa answered, she had the displeasure of meeting the woman a few times during feasts or war meetings. The last time she saw her was during mount weather and they didn’t exchange many words.

The shadow valley member didn’t have the tattoo last night which must’ve been purposeful, but it was clear he was a part of this group.

“What now?” Raven asked,

“Stay with the Radio, I’m going to talk to my friend Sivara.”

* * *

* * *

The gates of Polis were opened, and Clarke couldn’t have been happier to be back. They left their horses and walked to the tower, many people staring at them most staring at Clarke or Roan who they’ve never seen.

“Prepared to be the talk of the town?” Clarke asked him?

“Do I have a choice?” he quipped,

“Guess not.”

When they reached the tower Clarke could feel her body giving out on her but she almost there.

“Clarke.” Echo whispered,

“I’m ok.” She said holding her head fighting the current fit of throbbing she was having.

“Wanheda.” Titus greeted looking her over before turning his attention to Roan,

“Prince Roan as promised.” She said gritting her teeth, in hoped that would help the pain but it didn’t.

“I will take you to Heda.” He said ushering for them to follow.

They made their way to the throne room and Clarke was sure if it wasn’t for Echo’s hand on her back, she wouldn’t have had the focus to make it. The pain was amplifying, and she knew she wasn’t fine.

She heard Titus announce them before her eyes found Lexa, she looked tired but still beautiful.

“Heda-.” Clarke groaned grabbing her head and closing her eyes feeling Echo’s hand still on her back. She took a deep breath before opening her eyes seeing a worrying Lexa staring back at her.

“Prince Roan of Azgeda as promised commander.” Echo said motioning for the man step forward,

“Heda.” He bowed,

“Clarke?” Echo whispered worryingly watching as the blonde clutched her head with her eyes once again squeezing her eyes shut.

“I’m sorry.” Clarke mumbled,

“Come on.” Echo looked up to Lexa hoping she would understand her plight as she escorted Clarke into the hall where the girl burst in tears, “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“My head.” Was all Clarke could say as she pleaded with herself to calm down, but her head felt like it was on fire and her anxiety was rising as she realized grounder healers probably wouldn’t be able to help her.

“It’s going to be ok.”

“Clarke!” Lexa said running over to the woman, “What happened?”

“Lexa.” She smiled seeing those beautiful green eyes staring back at her, she wanted to say more but her eyes were tired and all she could see was darkness after as she felt her body fall limp presumably in her girlfriend’s arms.


	24. Hold onto Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter sorry but i wanted to get something up
> 
> srry for mistakes i suck;)

“What the hell happened?” Raven busted into the room seeing an unconscious Clarke laying on the bed surrounded by what she assumed to be healers, “Clarke.”

“She hit her head; really hard they’re trying to help.” Echo told her but it was useless, the brunette was could barley hear anything she was saying. All she could see was her best friend, her sister lying there, and she couldn’t do anything.

She could see Lexa pacing the room clearly just as distraught as her and this was too much.

“Lexa, what did they say?” Raven asked walking up to the woman who wouldn’t even meet her eyes.

“Nothing useful.”

“Then I’m radioing Abby, she the best doctor on earth she can fix her.” Raven said before leaving the room, leaving Lexa to her own damning thoughts.

Since the moment Clarke walked into the throne room, she knew something was off. Her face was pale her eyes tired and she was holding her head as if it was on the cusp of exploding. Her worry only intensified when the blonde collapsed in her arms. What happened next was cloudy, she just remembered yelling for the guards to get the healers and they took her upstairs to their room.

Echo explained what happened, how she got caught in a hunting trap and the false Azgeda warriors who were responsible and how she fell and hit her head. She wanted every last detail, so she knew who to punish for this, it didn’t matter if the people responsible were dead. They belonged to something bigger and Lexa planned on making them pay.

The healers couldn’t tell her much just that her head had some swelling so when Raven decided to radio Abby, she was all for it. Clarke needed something more than roots and medicinal flowers, she needed technology and a well-trained doctor, and they simply didn’t have that here.

The healers left after doing all that they could which was giving her some medicine that was supposed to help with the swelling. Lexa excused Echo so she could be alone with the blonde who was still unconscious.

She took one of her chair from her reading table and sat as close the bed as she could get it. 

“I need you to wake up my love.” She whispered intertwining her fingers in the Clarkes,

“Lexa.” Raven said joining her, “Abby is on the way, she packing all the medical equipment she can into the Rovers. It should only be a couple hours, but she told me what to do in the meantime to keep her stable.”

“Ok.” She nodded still looking down at the blonde,

“Heda, I’m sorry to interrupt but something needs your attention urgently.” Indra said from the opening door.

Anyone with eyes could see the conflict in Lexa’s eyes, she didn’t want to leave Clarke, but she was still commander and she had to hold that above everything personal.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be here with her if anything happens, you’ll be the first to know.” Raven assured.

Lexa nodded, cautiously letting Clarkes hand fall from her own before joining Indra in the hall.

“We have pathways cleared for the Skaikru doctor’s arrival; they’ll have easy access to the tower.”

“Thank you, Indra.” Lexa said, “What has happened?”

“We captured Shadow Valley’s ambassador Zoran and his messenger Alec; we have them chained up in the meeting room, but they aren’t talking.”

“Bring Sivara to the meeting room.” Lexa ordered before making her way to the room herself.

Any way she thinks about it these people are responsible for what happened to Clarke there was no way in hell she was letting that go unpunished especially if she died. But she couldn’t think that Abby was on the way and she was going to be fine.

When she walked into the room that was holding the prisoners, she recognized the so-called messenger immediately, he was apart of her guard. She really couldn’t trust anyone.

“Heda.” Anya bowed before walking closer, “Clarke?”

“Later.” Lexa shook her head, “Tell me about these two.”

“As you’ve probably realized he’s a guard here in polis and that is Arla’s replacement for shadow valleys ambassador.”

Arla, Lexa killed her not even a week ago for calling Clarke her bed warmer.

“Who sent for him?” Lexa asked, usually she would send Indra for such things, but she never asked her to send for a new ambassador.

“I did heda.” Titus spoke up, “I asked head guard Garon to request a new ambassador from Louwoda Kliron.”

“Bring me Garon.” Lexa said to Titus, as he was leaving Indra was entering with a bandaged Sivara. She could tell instantly she knew the men who were currently chained up in front of them.

This plot ran deep, and she needed to unravel every part of it, clearly, she couldn’t trust anyone which meant she needed new guards. Only from clans she trusted which meant Trikru, Floukru, Delphi kru and Skaikru. Her guards would only come from there from this day forward and the current ones will be questioned and depending on the circumstance let go or executed with the rest of the traitors.

Sankru was now her enemy which meant they could possibly be on the brink of war and there was no doubt in her mind who would win.

“Do you know them Sivara?” Lexa asked the woman who was currently avoiding her gaze. “You can answer my questions or die there’s no other option.”

“You’re going to kill me anyway.” She spat,

“How else would you have me punish traitors?”

“We’re traitors because we want a better lives for our people?” Sivara asked,

“You’re traitors because instead of trusting your commander you went behind my back and tried to take something that doesn’t belong to you.”

“That land does belong to us!” one of them men chained up said his voice filled with rage and anger,

“Is that what Visha tells you?” Lexa asked, “Your ‘Queen’ does she say that?”

“Visha isn’t a coward like you.” He spat, “She’s not afraid of Azgeda, she’s not afraid to give her people what they deserve.”

“For years, our have fought endlessly all because each of them thought something belonged to them or because they deserved it but those how’d rather steal and take deserve nothing.” Lexa seethed, “Visha led you here and she’s not coming to save you. Now you’re going to tell me what I want to know, and it be easy or hard either way it doesn’t matter.”

“Go to hell.”

Lexa sighed walking over to her weapons, “Put Sivara on the table.”

Torture wasn’t something Lexa took any joy in but in desperate times such as this her own enjoy was the last thing that mattered. She needed information and they were going to give it to her.

“Do you have any family Sivara?” Lexa asked as she chose her knives from the broad assortment. “Take her bandages off.” She order Anya who obeyed,

“Here’s how this is going to work; you’re going to answer my questions, or we’ll add to your injuries it’s up to you.” Lexa said turning to the woman who was now laid out on the table, “Do you have family?” she repeated, a few seconds pass and still no answer so Lexa took one of her knives jamming it into the still red cut in her hand from the previous night.

Screams filled the room and so did chains raddling, the guard had been silent the whole time, but the ambassador seemed to be mouthy and upset with Sivara’s treatment. Maybe they were family, if not close friends because they clearly know each other, and she could use that.

“This is how you treat your people?” He yelled,

“No, this is how I treat traitors.” Lexa said simply before repeating the same to the woman’s other hand. “Answer my questions or there’s more to come, better yet answer my questions or I start piercing his skin next.”

Sivara’s eyes darted to the chained-up man, conflict waging on her face clearly, she didn’t want him to get hurt but she also didn’t want to talk.

“Is Visha the leader of the order or does that honor belong to someone else?” Lexa asked as she chose new knives, once again silence filled the room, “Clearly none of you are taking me seriously which is fine.” She walked over to Anya whispering something in her ear before the woman nodded and left. “The real fun is only beginning.”

* * *

Meanwhile a few floors up a very emotional Raven was still sitting with Clarke, she still hadn’t woken up, but her breathing was fine, and she checked every Abby told her too. As much as she hated to admit it, she was losing hope, this couldn’t be good not with her being practically comatose like this.

“Come on Clarke you’re not allowed to leave me.” Raven whispered stroking her long blonde hair, “We made a promise you can’t brake it, not like this.”

“Raven.” A small voice behind her grabbed her attention, she turned seeing Octavia staring blankly at Clarke, “I just- Echo said-.”

“She’s going to be fine.” Raven interrupted, “She’s fine, Abby will fix her.”

Both girl sat there silently in each other’s arms at Clarke’s beside, the possibility of Clarke not being ok weighed heavy in the air, but they ignored it because she would be fine.

An hour later they could hear screeching sounds a noises coming from outside, Octavia went to the balcony seeing two rovers outside.

“She’s here.”

“Thank god.” Raven murmured,

It only took a few minutes for people to start rushing in with different equipment that Raven couldn’t identify if she tried. Finally, Abby entered going straight to Clarke checking over her thoroughly before ordering her assistants to ready the equipment.

“Abby what is that?” Raven asked watching them attach something to Clarkes head,

“I need to do a brain scan.” She answered, “I think you girls should wait outside.”

“No way!” Raven said but she felt a hand grab her own turning to see Jake, “I can’t leave her.”

“We have to let them help her Raven.”

“I promised I wouldn’t leave her.” She murmured feeling hot tears run down her cheeks,

“We’re not leaving her; we just have to let them help.” Jake said grabbing the crying girls face, “We’ll be right outside that door, ok?”

Raven turned to see what they were doing, and Abby was hard at work, she didn’t want to leave but she knew Jake was right, so she nodded and followed him into the hallway where she sank to the floor.

“Come here kid.” Jake sat next to the brunette pulling her into his arms, he too was worried but part of being a parent was comforting your kids first. If he worried Raven would, and he couldn’t do that. “Where’s Anya?”

“I don’t know.” She sighed wiping her tears, she hadn’t really talked to the woman since their argument. In the six months that they have been together Anya and Raven had never really fought but yesterday they did, and it wasn’t the best.

Raven knew she was being selfish when she told Anya to take the position Lexa was offering her even if she didn’t want it. TonDC meant the world to Anya and she was asking her to give that up without a second thought because she wanted to be where Clarke was, but she had to be. Her and Clarke stuck together always, they promised each other, and they never broke their promises.

An hour passed before the door opened and Abby walked of the room and Raven, Jake and Octavia all jumped up.

“What is it Abby?” Raven asked,

* * *

The room had been dead silent since Lexa had sent Anya off for what she needed. She could tell that each of them were frightened and they should be, the chance to come clean has passed and now she was doing whatever it took to get her answers.

The doors swung opened and Anya walked through whispering something in Lexa’s ear before standing back at her post.

“Now we can get started.” Lexa said standing and walking over to the chained men, “You’ve been a guard here for at least a year which makes me wonder how long this little scheme to take Azgeda has been going on. Were you put here for that purpose?”

The man was avoiding all eye contact as Lexa stood on front of him,

“We’re not telling you anything.” The other man said causing Lexa to shrug,

“Have it your way.” She replied walking over to her weapons, “The beautiful thing about Polis is all the different people you meet here. This is where all the clans can interact as one and over the years some even find a love connection. You’d know something about that right, Alec was it?”

The chained guards’ eyes went wide as the doors opened and two warriors escorted a woman with tan skin and short brown hair into the room.

“it didn’t take long to find out that you had a lover, people in Polis tend to gossip trust me.” Lexa said turning to face the man whose face had paled, “Now that everyone’s here we can really begin. Every question that goes unanswered she gets a cut, tell me everything you know she lives.”

“She has nothing to do with this.” Alec murmured as he watched his lover take Sivara’s place on the table,

“So, you do speak.” Lexa replied, “Tell me everything you know, and she walks out of here unharmed.”

“Fine!”

* * *

Machines were beeping throughout the room as Raven sat holding Clarkes hand. She was still unconscious, and the brunette felt so powerless, her whole life she’s been smart enough to build bombs and radios and freaking engines for hundred-year-old spaceships, but she couldn’t find a way to save her best friend. Someone who saved her and gave her a family, someone she needs because earth would be nothing without her.

The whole day she told herself Abby would come in a fix it and she’ll wake up but that didn’t happen. Abby was here and she was doing everything she could be it wasn’t enough.

The door opened but Raven didn’t bother looking to see who it was assuming it was Abby or Jake coming to convince her to go rest but that wasn’t happening.

“She’s still not awake.” Lexa murmured as she slowly walked over to the bed, Clarke was there and beautiful but not how she wanted not how she needed. It almost seemed as if she was just asleep but unfortunately it wasn’t as simple.

“No.” Raven sighed,

“What did Abby say?”

“Her fall was worse than Clarke led on apparently.” She sighed, wiping her stray tears “Abby said it’s a TBI, traumatic brain injury it can have delayed symptoms and since she waited so long to be looked at Abby thinks that’s why she fell unconscious.”

“But she’s ok.” Lexa said, more as a statement than a question. Clarke had to be ok there was no other option.

“I don’t know, she’s comatose and she doesn’t even know when or if she’ll wake up. I can’t lose her.”

“You’re not Raven she’s going to be fine; she’s going to wake up and it’s going to be fine!” Lexa said her voice harder,

“We don’t know that.”

“She’s a fighter, she will fight this, and we can’t give up on her so pull it together because she’s going to be fine.”

Raven didn’t reply, she couldn’t, she couldn’t be strong not when her other half was laying like this. Her tears were pouring out of her eyes when she felt hands wrapping around her. She didn’t have to look to know it was Anya, she just leaned into her arms and cried.

Lexa watched in silent as the two comforted each other, she could see the fear in Anya’s eyes as they looked over the blonde. This was serious and although Lexa wanted to remain optimistic, on the inside she felt like she was slowly dying.

She didn’t need years to know Clarke was it for her, she knew it the moment she saw her knockout Jaha with barely any effort. She knew it when she walked into her tent and immediately took control from Kane as if was nothing. Most of all she knew it the moment they kissed that day in TonDC just before the mountain men attacked.

Clarke was someone she was always meant to find she knew that in her heart and this simply could not be the end, not for them and definitely not for Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok question, would you guys prefer longer chapters that take a few days or shorter chapters? usually i write about 5000-8000 word chapters and ive been wondering if that's too much. let me know down below!!!
> 
> as always love you for reading the next chapter will be a little different


	25. No One Ever said Your Subconscious was Good Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke wakes up but soon finds that nothing is what it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> sorry for mistakes

Clarke opened her eyes being greeted with the harsh blue tone lights that lit her cramped room. She begged her dad or Raven to fix them, but they found her misery too funny to help.

Her alarms were ringing incessantly, and she knew she had to get up, but the bed was way too comfortable. She was surprised Raven hadn’t busted in yet declaring it was time for breakfast as she did every morning. She’s probably just running late.

Finally, she got up dragging herself to the small bathroom across from her room, their water rations only went so far so she quickly brushed her teeth and threw some water on her face before going to get dressed.

Her calendar was set for A day which meant she had a couple hours of medical training before her art class. Being a doctor wasn’t something she was too sure about, but she didn’t hate it. She got to work with her mom and help save lives and that should be fulfilling but for some reason it wasn’t.

At first, she thought it was because she’d rather being doing art but then Ms. Taylor offered her a class to teach and she loves it but even that feels like it’s not enough.

She was starting to think she didn’t have a purpose, not on The Ark at least but this was all they had, and she had to make the best of it.

On the bright side A days also meant amateur fight training with her dad and Raven. Since Jake had some guard training from before he became an engineer, they were able to actually learn to fight and there was also informational videos the ark had on file from the old world, so they became pretty good. There was no doubt in any of their minds that they watched way to many action movies but pretending to be badasses was a great escape.

After getting dressed in her same boring grey pants and white polo type shirts students had to wear, she made her way to the living portion of her family’s suite.

“If you see Raven tell her I already left for breakfast.” Clarke yelled as she walked toward the door but there was no answer in fact it was dead silent which was strange. Nevertheless, Clarke shrugged it off as maybe her parents left early.

Entering the halls, the silence continued, everyone on the ark had a set schedule which meant people were always wondering about and rushing to work or class or a meal if it’s their block but today there was no one. The halls were empty and only the soft buzzing of the air ventilation system filled the air.

“What the hell?” Clarke whispered as she followed her path to the mess hall,

Something wasn’t right that much was clear and seeing the usually full and lively cafeteria completely empty and quiet for no apparent reason was frightening.

“Hello?” she yelled walking over to where the food is usually served but even that was empty, “Is anyone here?” nothing.

She ran through the halls checking every room she passed by for people but there weren’t any. It was as if everyone vanished over night but how?

This was like one of the movies that depict what old word religious books would call the rapture. Where everyone vanishes leaving only the non-believers behind while they go meet some greater power. But this wasn’t a movie, and it wasn’t a book written to give people hope that there is more after death this was real, and Clarke was here but everyone was gone.

“This has to be a dream.” She mumbled to herself as she stood in the middle of the health center where she hoped her mom would be.

“I wouldn’t say dream per say.”

Clarke jumped hearing the first sound let alone voice she’s heard since she woke up. Immediately turning she was greeted by someone she never expected to see again.

“Josephine?”

“In the flesh.” She smirked, “Well sort of.”

“But I don’t understand, how- you were-.”

“Floated, yeah.” She shrugged,

“Then I don’t understand how you’re here.” Clarke said still attempting to wrap her mind around what was happening.

“Only you would know. “she said plainly still seeing the confused look on the blonde’s face, with a sigh she walked closer and grabbed her hand dragging her out of the medical center,

“Where are we going?”

“To make you understand.” She smiled,

The walk was short but when they stopped, they were at the observation deck where Earth was in plain view.

“How old are you Clarke?” Josephine asked,

“19.”

“No.” Josephine sighed grabbing the girls head forcing her to look at the big blue and green planet, “How old are you?”

“I-.” Clarke didn’t understand any of this but staring at Earth she knew something was missing. Something she couldn’t think of but what? “What’s happening?”

“You’re remembering.”

Clarke was about to ask what she was remembering when a wave rushed over her explaining everything. Earth, she went to earth, the ark was dying, and they found a home on earth. There were grounders and mountain men and queens and princes and-.

“Lexa.” She murmured,

“And we’re back bitches.” Josephine smiled,

“Josie.” She whispered staring back at the girl in front of her, she looked exactly the same her hair was in its signature middle braid and her dark brown eyes were had the tiniest bit of silver glitter on her lid. She was here but that wasn’t possible because she was dead, Clarke watched her die three years ago. “How am I here, how are you?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I was delivering Roan, but something was wrong.” Clarke squinted trying to think, “I saw Lexa and then everything was black.”

“You hit your head really hard and fell unconscious.” Josephine explained,

“Oh my god, I’m dead aren’t i?”

Josephine laughed before seeing the blonde’s serious face,

“You’re not dead, I guess you could call this the mind space.”

“So, I’m in my subconscious?” she asked,

“Now you’re getting it!” the other girl cheered,

“So why are you here?”

“I can’t exactly answer that.” She shrugged, “If you think about it technically, I’m something your mind created which means I’m just you and you’re essentially having a conversation with yourself.”

“This is weird.” She groaned, “I don’t even have time to dissect everything going on I need to go. If I’m not dead, I need to wake up how do I do that?”

“Follow me.” Josephine said before walking back down the hall, Clarke followed still wrapping her mind around how wacky this was. Maybe she really was just dreaming. “It’s not a dream Clarke.”

“How did you do that; I didn’t even say that out loud!”

“What part of I’m you don’t you understand?”

“This is crazy, I’m crazy.” She sighed,

“I wouldn’t say crazy, it’s just your minds way of trying to sort through all your thoughts just as it would if you were awake.”

“Yeah, but if I was awake, I wouldn’t be talking to myself.”

“Maybe not but you’re not awake, you’re unconscious which means you have no way of properly sorting through your thoughts because you’re quite literally stuck in your own head. It’s why your using me as a way to talk it out.”

“Why you though?” Clarke asked,

“Only you know that Clarke.”

“But you are me.”

“I am but, I’m the part of that can answer things you already know.” She explained, “If you haven’t figured out why you chose Josephine to see while you’re hear then I won’t know. Think of it this way, you asking me a question is your way of physically saying what you think while I help you figure out what you know. Just like you knew something was wrong you just didn’t know what until I appeared to make it clearer.”

“So, you only know things I know?” Clarke asked,

“Yes, I’m just here to help you work things out in your mind.” She smiled before stopping at a door,

“I’ve already looked through all the doors in Alpha station no one else is here.”

“Look again.”

Clarke sighed before walking over to the metal door, she knew this room it was one of the classrooms she used to teach her art lessons in but that isn’t what she saw.

“What the hell?” Clarke murmured looking around, this wasn’t her classroom, it wasn’t even the ark it was mount weather.

She watched quietly as little kids ran around giggling and showing each other their drawings. This was a memory, but she didn’t understand.

“Do you remember this day?” Josephine asked but Clarke was too immersed to answer, “It was the day before you escaped the mountain, and you were looking around for any possible exists when you came across the school. You were shocked to see the place had so many kids and that they were happy despite not knowing just how they survived but that doesn’t matter because a few weeks later they would be dead without even really knowing why, slowly the air was ripped from their lungs and their skin was burning off-.”

“Why are you doing this?” Clarke interrupted watching the room slowly turn into the dining hall where hundreds of burned dead bodies laid after she pulled the lever,

“You’re doing this Clarke.”

“I don’t want to do this, make it stop!” she screamed watching the room slowly fade back into the tin walls and metal desks and chairs she was used to seeing.

“You asked me how to wake up Clarke.”

“So, this is some sort of guilt trip?”

“This is your mind telling you, you have some stuff to sort out.” Josephine corrected, “You think you have a way for dealing with your guilt and your grief, but you don’t. You handle by pushing it aside and telling yourself not to think about it, it’s why even months later you don’t think or talk about mount weather or Jaha or even Josephine. You bury your guilt with humor, you want everyone to think your above it all but deep down you know your not.”

“So, then what, I have to relive all my worst memories to wake up? Repent and say sorry or something.”

“This isn’t about repenting; this is about truly accepting who you are and what you’ve done. You don’t regret it because your main goal has always been to protect your family but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel bad for what you had to do to achieve that.”

“Ok, fine then I accept what I had to do.” Clarke said looking around waiting for something bug to happen some white light to appear so she can wake up,

“Look at the door straight ahead.” Josephine pointed,

Clarke looked seeing a wooden door, something they didn’t have on the ark but did have on the ground specifically in Lexa’s tower. It must be her way out.

Quickly she ran to it twisted the knob, but it wouldn’t open, she shook it more even kicking at the wood, but it was unaffected.

“This is your way out, but it will only open when you’ve truly found peace with yourself.” Josephine said, “It won’t be as easy as saying you accept something you have to actually feel it.”

Guilt was nothing new to Clarke, especially after everything she’s done but to choose now to punish herself for it seemed beyond cruel.

“Go to the next door.”

The blonde huffed before walking over to the metal door, this time there was the Blake quarters and seeing herself as well as Octavia and Bellamy standing there, she knew exactly what day it was.

“The last comet viewing.” Josephine said, “There was a dance and lucky enough masks would be worn so you had the great idea to sneak Octavia in so she could have one night of fun. Bellamy was against it; he knew if Aurora found out she’d be pissed and if they got caught it would be worse, but you assured him it would be fine. So, you took an excited Octavia with you to the dance while Bellamy was out on patrol. You danced and laughed; it was the happiest you had ever seen the girl in the ten years you knew her. Then just as the night was ending an alarm was tripped so the guards did a check. The fear in Octavia’s eyes was indescribable because she didn’t have an id bracelet because technically, she didn’t exist. You’re eyes scanned the room for Bellamy as you tried to figure out what to do but it was too late. Octavia didn’t know her way home and one of the guards cornered her.”

Clarke watched the scene play out remembering Bellamy’s words about how he told her not to do this and how she was the reason their mom would be floated, and Octavia would be in sky box until she was eighteen where they would probably float her too.

“You knew you needed to fix it, but you didn’t know how, but that night you overheard a conversation between your dad and Kane that gave you an idea.”

The room faded changing into the day after the dance where Clarke asked Kane for help and ultimately where they formed their deal.

“You needed Kane’s help and he needed yours, so you did as he asked, you planted the papers in Jaha’s quarters.”

Clarke moved to the next door where she could see herself in the Jaha room, somewhere she had been hundreds of times to see Wells but this time it was for something far more sinister than a friendly hangout.

She watched herself as the memory played out, this was less than a year ago, but she looked so different, weaker more innocent.

“Your heart practically dropped when you heard keys in the door so you did the only thing you could and that was sit on the sofa. If it was wells you could’ve explained, he would understand because his relationship with his father wasn’t good, but it wasn’t wells it was-.”

“Jaha.” Clarke murmured, she remembered the feel of his hand moving up her thigh and his words and how she had never expected something like that from him.

“His hands were ice cold and you could feel his breath on your neck as he moved closer to you. You tried to move but you couldn’t all you do was let it happen. His hands groped your chest as well as your thighs and that’s when you jumped up. You could tell he was getting upset as you continued to back away until he cornered you. His hands tried to regain their former placement, but you wouldn’t let them, instead you used any strength you had and struck him enough so you could get away.”

The room became foggy as the image of Jaha’s execution came into view,

“I don’t feel guilty about what happened to him.” Clarke said turning to Josephine,

“You may not guilty he died but you do feel guilty that you didn’t tell anyone what he did to you. When you escaped the mountain and learned how many people, kids her killed you thought it was your fault. That if you would’ve told Kane the truth that he would’ve been punished but you didn’t, you couldn’t. This is about your guilt Clarke but it’s also about your grief.”

“My grief?”

“What Jaha did that day, it took something from you, and it changed you. Although you were never naive or obvious to the way things can be in life what happened took a sort feeling of virtue from you. Feeling that you can’t trust the people you know or even the people in charge. It made you weary of things and in a way, it made you angrier. After you injured Jaha to get away you ran to your room and cried, but when it was over you were angry. With him but mostly with yourself, that you put yourself in that situation, but it wasn’t your fault. What he did to you he chose to do; you didn’t deserve that no matter what you think.”

Clarke wiped her tears as the memory faded and once again all that was left was tin walls. She did blame herself for what happened that day, because she was there doing something bad and in turn something bad happened to her. She shouldn’t have been there, but she was and that doesn’t excuse Jaha for his actions.

“Go to the next one.” Josephine pointed, this was the last door before the wooden one, Clarke silently moved until she could peer through the small window,

“Year 12, every Arkers dream.” Josephine smiled, “You were 18 and you met a girl in biology who for some reason you had never noticed before. Clearly you were both from the same station and the same age but had never talked until this day. She had blonde hair like yours except she styled the same every day in a middle braid and wore silver sparkly eyeshadow that you loved. Class began and you took the only empty seat which was beside the mystery girl. Mrs. Green announced the first project which was a partnered one, so you asked the girl if she wanted to partner up and she said yes and that’s when you learned her name was-.”

“Josephine Lightbourne.”

“You leaned her dad was head of farm station and the science department and it was why you had never seen her before. But with her dads help she was able to get permission to attend class in Alpha station since the one in Farm Station was overflowing with people. Instantly you two got along and you made a friend. For months you got to know each other and even hung out outside of class on occasion. Then one day everything came crashing down when Josephine showed up in the rec room where you were sketching before your class. She looked frantic and instantly you were alarmed, she was talking quickly about some experiments. It wasn’t until you got her back to your room that she slowed down enough to explain. She had been in her dad’s office doing homework where she accidently picked up some of his files. It wasn’t until she returned home and opened them that she realized they weren’t hers. Instead, they were official documents explaining in detail experiments that had been performed in her parent’s lab. The specifics were horrifying and when her dad got home, she confronted him. At first, he wouldn’t explain but when Josephine wouldn’t let up, he told her had to do it. That someone important was making him. The experiments were radiation exposure tested on live subjects. He explained that the person who was making him to do it needed to know if the earth would be survivable if the radiation had reduced over the last hundred years. When you heard this, you were shocked but what shocked you even more was when Josephine said she was going to expose the council. Even though she didn’t know who was threatening her dad it had be someone with power someone like the chancellor or any elected official. Josephine had recorded a video explaining everything and she needed your help broadcasting it since your dad worked in the engineering department. But you refused because you knew she would get floated. You tried to get her to think things through before doing anything rash and after hours of talking it finally seemed like you calmed her down. She thanked you and gave you a hug before leaving. The next day you heard your dads radio go off, but he was out for breakfast, so you picked it up. You heard voices explaining a breech in engineering someone had tried to brake in and was caught. Automatically you knew it was Josie so you ran as fast as you could but at this point it was already too late. You watched as the guards ushered her and her parents into the airlock and pulled the lever. Jaha told everyone it was because the family was stealing supplies, but you knew the real reason.”

“I should’ve talked to yo-.” Clarke paused turning to the girl who looked like her friend, but it wasn’t, “I should’ve convinced her better or helped her or something I could’ve helped.”

“There was nothing you could’ve done Clarke; Josie had already made her choice and if you would’ve helped you would’ve been floated too.”

“But I could’ve tried to save her!”

“You can’t save everyone Clarke, and because of what happened to Josie you fought hard to save Octavia. For years you have blamed yourself for her death, but it wasn’t your fault.”

“She came to me for help.”

“And you tried to help it just wasn’t the help she was looking for. You want to know why Josephine’s face is the one you’re seeing it’s because she’s the place your guilt first started to grow and she’s first person you think you killed. Even though you didn’t pull the lever or out her you still blame yourself, but she wouldn’t blame you and you need to stop blaming yourself.”

“I know you’re not really her and I’m basically talking to myself, but I am sorry Josie. I’m sorry that I couldn’t help you and I’m sorry about what happened to your family. You were an amazing, smart, and beautiful person who I wish could’ve seen the ground. You deserved to see it and study it and grow up and I wish you had gotten that chance. I’m sorry you didn’t but I’ll never forget you and I’ll make sure people know what actually happened to you.” Even if it’s metaphorical Clarke could truly feel a weight lift from her shoulders after all of this.

She looked up to see a smile on Josephine’s face as she pointed ahead where the wooden door was now slightly ajar.

Clarke took a step towards it more than ready to go back but there was still one last thing she needed to know,

“It was Jaha wasn’t it?” she asked the girl, “He was the one making Josie’s parents do the tests and the file Kane had me put his room was proof.”

Josephine shrugged, “I only what you know but, in this case, the only one who truly knows is Kane.”

Clarke sighed biting her lip before nodded, she took one last look at her old friends face before finally stepping through the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had this idea in my head and i wanted to explore it. Clarke is a badass but even badasses have trouble handling guilt so i wanted to touch on that also the radiation experiments is something that happens in the books so i thought i draw some inspiration from that. I hope you enjoy i heard the feedback on longer chapters so the next one will be lengthy!!! love you for reading don't forget to let me know what you think in the comments


	26. Awaking from a Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for mistakes

Lexa had spent her morning using all the information Alec had given her to round up all the suspected order members who had infiltrated her city. Unfortunately, there were many, this plan was something that was put in place years ago and they were waiting for their chance. So, when they defeated Nia it was perfect timing for them to push forward the plot. Some had gotten away though when they heard of Lexa’s meeting with the ambassadors and of course Sivara and the other member’s fate. And now all they could do was build a battle plan, Sankru obviously wasn’t backing down and neither was Lexa.

“Heda.”

“What is it Titus?” Lexa asked still staring off of her balcony, Clarke was a few feet away still unconscious and a sleeping Raven was next to her. True to her word the girl hadn’t left the blondes side and she was almost grateful for it. If Raven wasn’t there, she knew for a fact she would’ve broken down by now and she couldn’t do that not now. It had been three days since she returned and there was still nothing, but Lexa wasn’t losing faith, Clarke was waking up she had to.

“May I speak with you?” He asked, “Privately.”

Lexa nodded escorting him into her study that connected to her bedroom, she hoped this was news from the scout she sent to the dead zone. The more information they got the better.

“Any word from the scouts?” she asked,

“Not yet Heda.”

“Then what is this about?” She asked aggravatedly,

“You.” He said firmly, “Now is not the time for distractions, a new enemy has arouse and it needs every ounce of your attention.”

“What are you implying Titus?”

“I know you care for Wanheda, but your main focus cannot be her recovery it must be winning our war. Now more than ever, you need to remember my teachings, love is weakness and being commander means putting head before your heart, always.”

“Titus I am more than capable of separating feelings from duty, I know how to be commander I don’t need you to tell me how. I respect you because you were my teacher, but this isn’t Natblida training anymore, I am the commander, and I will do things how I see fit. This is the last time I say this, Clarke is none of your concern and as for the impending war, I won’t let that dictate my agenda. Sankru will fall just as Azgeda did and I won’t rest until they do.” She said calmly moving closer to the man, “Don’t bother me again unless it is about Sankru.”

She walked the man and back into her room was Raven was now awake and tinkering with some technology she couldn’t identify. She looked raged and tired and Lexa was sure she didn’t look any better.

“I am going to speak with the king.” Lexa told her as she grabbed her jacket, “Radio me if anything changes.”

“I will.” Raven nodded looking over at the sleeping Blonde,

Roan had been shown to a room the day Clarke and Echo delivered him. Lexa hadn’t had much time to speak with him with everything going on, but she made sure he was treated well and given anything he needed.

Once she got to his door the guards greeted her, but she knocked on the door, of course she could just walk in this was her tower, but she wanted to be respectful.

The door swung open and a scruffy Roan greeted her, his beard was grown out and his hair was wild. It was then that Lexa realized it was still quite early in the day and maybe he was still sleeping.

“Heda.” He bowed before allowing her inside,

“Sorry If I have woken you from your slumber.” She says clearing her throat before entering the room, “I hope you are settling in well.”

“It’s been years since I’ve slept in an actual bed, so this is great.” He nodded, “Thank you for the hospitality.”

“Well thank you for not giving Clarke too much trouble for bringing you here.”

“Wanheda is very convincing, I hope her recovery is speedy.” He said sincerely and Lexa only nodded, she couldn’t get into this right now.

“Echo tells my you started a group for nomads.” Lexa replies eager to change the subject, “How did that happen?”

“After I fled Azgeda I had nothing and no where to go. I couldn’t go back and so I just walked and walked until I came across a group. They had also left their clan and were looking for a new home and that’s hoe it began. We’d all been together for years until a few nights ago.” His jaw clenched angrily as he thought of all his comrades and how their bodies still remained bloodied and abandoned at their last camp site.

“I’m sorry about your people and swear those responsible will pay.” Lexa said firmly and he nodded, “What do you know of the order?”

“Probably as much as you, they invaded Azgeda a few months before I left. They wanted the queen dead and me as well. Anyone of royal blood was to be killed and they would regain control over Azgeda territory. It was my understanding that was their main objective.”

“I think revenge is their main objective.” Lexa sighed,

“How did you get mixed up in this?” Roan asked,

“Sankru is a part of my coalition, any attack against another clan even if they aren’t apart of my coalition is an act against me. They had plans to abduct the Queen from this very tower and if I had to guess they were waiting for Clarke to deliver you so they could do it all at once.”

“She is still alive?” Roan asked referring to his mother,

“Yes, there is no question her fate will be death, but it will be when I say and not a minute before. If you would like to see her, I can have it arranged.”

“No.” he said plainly before walking to his balcony,

“Then I think it’s time we discuss what’s come and most importantly the date of Azgeda once the dust has settle.”

* * *

“Abby says it looks like your doing better today.” Raven says focusing on the warmth of Clarkes hand, “Apparently your brain showed a lot of activity or something I don’t know but she said it was good. In a situation like this movie doctors say the person in a coma can hear you if you speak to them, so I hope that’s true, if it’s not I’ll feel like an idiot.”

“This is the longest we’ve ever gone without talking in the sixteen years that we’ve known each other, and I hate it. I’m sort of failing without you, me and Anya have barley talked and nothing is right. Abby and Jake are here, and I know they’re trying to be strong for me and for you, but I can see through them. So, in other words you need to wake up because you’re causing a lot of stress and I’m so mad at you right now.” She sighed wiping her tears, “You promised you wouldn’t leave me.”

“I would never leave you.” A voice cracked and Raven’s heart stopped, she looked up seeing the blonde slowly coming to.

Her eyes were sluggishly opening as if they had been sealed shut by glue but a few seconds later they were open, squinting at the morning sun gleaming in from the curtains,

“It’s really bright in here.” Clarke groaned trying to use her hands to block the sun but her whole body felt heavy,

Raven quickly went to shut the curtain before practically running into the blonde’s arms,

“Don’t ever scare me like that again!” she yelled her arms hesitant to leave Clarke’s embrace,

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked groggily, a few minutes ago she was having the weirdest dream of her life and now she was here with a crying Raven and needles in her arm.

“You hit your head and instead of getting it looked at you were an idiot and trudged all the way to Polis where you passed out three days ago and have been unconscious since.”

“Oh.” She mumbled, her head was killing her, and her body felt impossible to move but other than that she felt ok.

“Abby didn’t know when you would wake up.”

“Mom is here?” Clarke asked looking around the room, she was in Lexa’s room surrounded by medical equipment that could only be from Arkadia, so it made since that her mom was here.

“I called her the day you passed out, no offence to the grounders but their healers were useless and there was no way I was letting you die.” Raven replied, “I should go get Abby so she can check on you.”

“Wait.” Clarke said but the brunette was already out the door before she could finish, she wanted to say get Lexa too, but she figured if the woman wasn’t here it must be for something important.

The more she waited the more she remembered, her fall from the tree, Echo and her finding Roan, her raging headaches and nausea and finally seeing worried green eyes just as everything else faded away.

She knew her injury was bad, and she underestimated just how much she could handle. She had everyone worried which she hated but she was ok now and everything would be fine. She also couldn’t shake the dream she just had, about the ark about her life, about Josie.

“Clarke!” Abby ran into the room and straight to her daughter, she had been worried sick. Yes, she was a doctor and her job entailed staying calm but working on her own daughter was nerve racking enough and the thought of not being able to fix her scared her beyond belief,

“Thank god.” Jake sighed seeing his little girl awake,

“You scared us to death.” Abby said while checking over the girl to see if everything looked ok,

“I know and I’m sorry.”

“You’re brain injury could’ve been worse Clarke, it could’ve killed you and if you’re lucky it wont have any lasting damage.” Abby scolded, she hated her daughter’s choice of work, but she respected her choice and tried to be supportive but seeing her like this is something she never wanted,

“I feel fine mom, really.” She smiled trying to be assuring even though it probably didn’t do anything to ease their minds.

“Don’t ever scare us like that again Clarke.”

“I didn’t exactly set out to fall from a tree, but I won’t dad.”

“Then this means no more bounty hunting?” Abby asked hopefully,

Raven couldn’t already see this see this conversation going south just by the slight twitch of Clarkes eye which she meant she was fighting an eye roll.

“Abby are her vitals ok?” Raven asked changing the subject and hopefully derailing that conversation for at least the day.

“Everything is fine for now.” She assured,

The next half hour was spent talking about light subject but mostly everyone finally catching their breath now that the blonde was awake. There was still a recovery ahead, but this was a huge improvement.

She could see the blonde was feeling smothered so finally Raven convinced Abby and Jake to get food since Clarke was probably hungry leaving the two alone.

“I should radio Lexa, she told me to if anything happened.” Raven remembered; she had been so caught up in the fact that Clarke was awake that she forgot.

“Where is she?”

“Talking to Roan, a lot of shit has gone down in the last few days.”

“Don’t call her, let her finish what she’s doing first.”

“Clarke, if she walks in here and you’re awake she’s going to kill me.” Raven replied, “Like literally take her sword and plunge it into my heart.”

“I’ll protect you.” She smiled, “It’ll be fine, I’ll explain when she returns.”

“Fine it’s only my funeral we’re talking about.” She mumbled sitting back in her chair.

“Where’s Anya?” It was weird the woman wasn’t here or even come by in the hour she had been awake, not because of her but because of Raven. Those two were stuck like glue and never away from each other for too long.

“I- uh she-.” Raven sighed absent mindedly playing with her ponytail, “Honestly I don’t know, she’s been helping Lexa the past few days.”

“Something is going on, what happened?”

“We got in a fight.”

“You and Anya got in a fight?” Clarke was shocked, those two didn’t fight really ever. “And what was this fight about?”

“In a nutshell Lexa offered her a position to be her second here in Polis.”

“And?”

“And when she told me so I assumed she would take it, but she said Lexa gave her time to think about it because of her duties in TonDC.”

Clarke nodded trying to find the missing link in this story, “So what exactly was the fight about?”

“We fought because I wanted her to take the position in Polis and she said I was being selfish because I didn’t respect the fact that she has duties in TonDC.”

“So, it’s because you don’t want to live in TonDC?” Clarke asked, “You love TonDC why does it matter if you stay in Polis?”

“Because you’re here you idiot!” Raven yelled thinking that was obvious, “The day I found out you were going to the ground we made a plan. We said we would finish the mission and find a new home together. We stick together always which means wherever you are I am and that’s how it has to be she needs to understand that.”

“Rae.” Clarke sighed grabbing her best friends’ hand, “I love you to death, you come before anyone always, but even if you’re in TonDC it doesn’t mean we’re apart. Our whole lives we’ve kept each other alive one way or another and that will never stop but now you have someone else who loves you and I want you to put that first. Finn was a total idiot and I never understood why you were with him but when I see you with Anya, I understand it completely. Every time she looks at you, I can see how much she loves you and I won’t be the person holding you back from that-.”

“Clarke-.”

“No let me finish, I would never make you choose because it doesn’t have to be a choice Raven. Anya would give up anything for you and you should be willing to do the same.”

“I am I just- if she chooses to go back how am I supposed to leave you especially now?”

“You won’t be leaving me; I’m always everywhere you know me.” She smiled, “You were scared I wouldn’t come back to TonDC, but I always did. Being Elena’s second is important to Anya and you know that you know what it means to her so don’t disregard it just for your own personal gain. I know it’s hard because we see each other everyday and talk everyday but love is sacrifice. You need to talk to her and apologize and support her decision. She obviously told you because she wanted to decide together but that doesn’t mean you making one choice the only one.”

“If I knew you would wake up and give me a speech, I might’ve saved some of my tears.” Raven replied, a small smile on her face. Of course, Clarke was right, but she was still scared. Scared to be away from her and scared that her selfishness may have caused her Anya.

“Wake up calls are bitch but I’m happy to deliver, so go talk to her.”

“Right now?”

“Why not?” Clarke shrugged, “No time like the present.”

* * *

“What is it exactly that you want from me?” Roan asked Lexa who was now sitting across from her at the table,

“If I am being honest the only logical thing would be for you to become King of Azgeda. The citizens need hope, they need a leader but as it seems you don’t want that. Why exactly?”

“I’m not a leader.” He said plainly,

“You’ve been leader people since you left, it seems like you did well.” Lexa replied, the battle of emotions was clear just by the mans face. He seemed broken and that isn’t what anyone needed.

“Look where it got them.” He scoffed, “When I told Wanheda I would come with her I made it clear I was not coming to be King, just to talk.”

“So, talk.”

“For decades Azgeda has been ruled by the monarchy and that needs to end. I respect you Lexa, you are a good person and a good leader but not everyone is and not everyone can handle all that power. Azgeda has been ruled by tyrants since the beginning and that needs to end.”

“What are you saying that there should be no more kings and no more queens?”

“Every other clan has a chief and an ambassador why should Azgeda be any different?”

“Then there is still the matter of finding a Chief, either way someone needs to be appointed to lead.”

“Then I will help you find that person.”

“You remind me of Clarke.” Lexa says softly, “Both clearly born to be leaders but neither want it.”

“Like I said, not everyone can handle all that power.” He responded,

Dissipating the monarchy didn’t sound like a bad idea, making Azgeda like any other clan with a Chief could work. It limits power and that is exactly what Azgeda needed, now they just needed to deal with the desert people and get on with it.

“We will talk more after I’ve dealt with Sankru.” Lexa announced as she stood form her seat, “For now, enjoy Polis but I’d recommend doing it cautiously it’s getting harder to tell enemies from friends.”

“Thank you, Heda.”

She nodded before making her way back to her room on the upper level. Going in she had no expectations, but she felt that the conversation went well.

When she arrived at her room, she took a deep breath at her door, she knew what she would see and everyday it got harder. She was trying to be strong and only once did she allow her guard to slip. It was last night in the shower, she allowed herself one tear but after that she pulled it together. Clarke didn’t need her to be weak, she needed her to be strong and that’s what she would do.

After another breath she opened the door, and the sight was more than she prepared for. Blue eyes caught her own and her heart felt like it might not be ready to take the sudden fullness of joy.

A small smile was on the blondes face as she someone how managed to walk closer to the bed. She had barley registered Raven sitting there the only thing she could think was that Clarke was awake. _She was awake._

And seeing her awake made her realize how angry she was at the woman, how scared she had been which in turn made her angrier. Clarke knew she was hurt and chose to ignore it; she chose that, and she almost lost her life because of it. She couldn’t even fathom how the girl could be so reckless and the angrier she got the guiltier she felt that she was even angry in the first place. She was awake and right now that’s what mattered.

“I guess I better go do that now.” Raven said giving Clarke a hug before leaving the room,

The room was silent as Lexa stared long and hard at the blonde trying to let herself realize this is real. This isn’t something her mind conjured up out of grief, this was happening. She was awake.

Once again, her feet found a way to move and she walked closer to the bed sitting at the edge as the blonde watched.

“I’m sorry.” Clarke murmured watching as the brunette’s hard tired face turned soft and soon enough into something, she’s never seen from the brunette and that pure sadness.

Tears rolled down Lexa’s face silently as Clarke pulled her into her arms,

“I’m so sorry baby.” Clarke repeated trying to keep her own tears at bay, seeing Lexa cry broke her heart especially because she knows the brunette has been strong this whole time. That was something no one had to tell her, she knew Lexa she knew how she processed things and to other people that may seem like she’s not showing any emotions, but Clarke knew better.

Lexa couldn’t speak, her voice was untrustworthy, and days of tears were streaming down her face that she couldn’t control and she hated it.

“I thought I lost you.” She managed to mumble in between sobs,

“Never.”

* * *

Raven made her way to the place the guards said Anya would be full of nerves and fear. They hadn’t shared many words in the past few days mostly due to Raven, but they needed to, and she knew that.

Minutes later she arrived at what she could only describe as an indoor training area. She spotted the girl instantly; she was the only person in the room, but Raven would’ve noticed her first either way.

“Hi.” Raven said startling the girl,

“Hi.” Anya replied setting her staff down before turning back to the brunette,

“Uhm, Clarke is awake.”

“What?” she gasped, “Ok, I- I need to go see her.” Anya said rushing towards the door,

“Wait.” Raven yelled causing the girl to stop, “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Ok.”

“I-.” Truthfully, she had no clue where to start and the only thing that made since was to just go to the beginning, “When I was five was the first time that I realized my mom was sort of the worst. She would sell our rations for drugs and whatever else which on the ark rations aren’t exactly something you can just get more of. Finn was my neighbor so he would sneak me food but Factory station wasn’t exactly the upper echelon, so he didn’t have much either. One day I decided I would go to the dining hall and steal food, obviously I didn’t think it through, and everything was locked with key cards. Just as I was giving up a little blonde girl came in and I was so scared. She had shiny hair and decent clothes so it was clear she was from Alpha station or Farm and I figured she would tell on me, but she didn’t. Instead, she took me back to her home and shared some food with me and her dad showed us how to do some lame science project that seemed so cool back then. Ever since they have been my family and I haven’t looked back. When Clarke told me, she agreed to be Kane’s test bunny I was so pissed, but I wasn’t letting her do it alone because we always do everything together. We protect each other and for a long time the Griffins were the only family I had until I came here.”

“Coming to the ground was the craziest thing we’ve ever done but also the best thing. It’s where I saw real trees and breathed real air and it’s where I met you.” She smiled thinking of the first time they met, “Granted the first time we met you were kidnapping us, and I thought you were going to kill us, but I still thought you were hot.”

Anya couldn’t help but roll her eyes and smile at the comment,

“What I’m trying to say is you’ve always respected my relationship with Clarke, and I love you for it. Even when she was a mess you helped her, and I know you love Clarke, but I know you helped her for me, and I don’t know if I could’ve done that without you. Constantly you have put my needs before your own and the one time I could've done that for you I was selfish and I’m so sorry. If living with you in TonDC has shown me anything it’s how much you love it. You love training the other seconds, you love talking to the other citizens and I love seeing you there. I love you and I will literally follow you anywhere so whether you choose to stay in Polis or go back to TonDC I’ll be by your side no matter what.”

“Really?” Anya asked moving closer to her girlfriend, the thought of this conversation has scared her for days but only because she imagined it would end with Raven choosing Clarke over her, but she wasn’t.

“Yes, and I’m sorry it took Clarke waking up for me to realize how wrong I was.” She sighed, “But I was scared, Clarke has been a safety blanket for me my whole life and that was scary because I’m used to it only being her that’s there for me but that’s not true anymore. Now I have you too and we’re family. So even though I’ve been the worst girlfriend ever I really hope you can forgive me.”

“Raven I just wanted you to understand why the choice meant so much to me. I wanted to talk about it because I don’t know what to do. I love TonDC but I also love being here and I know it may not seem like a big deal to you but the commander taking a second is a huge honor, but it also requires a lot of time and responsibilities that I needed to figure out if I was ok with and you completely ignored that.”

“I know and I’m so sorry, I was selfish and stupid and I just- I’m trying to fix it because I understand now and I’m here because I _**need**_ to fix this.” Raven knew she was breathing hard and she was freaking out, she hoped explaining and apologizing would be enough but what if Anya didn’t want to fix it. What if she waited too long to fix it,

“Raven calm down.” The older blonde said grabbing the brunette’s shaky hands,

“Just tell me what I have to do to fix it please.” She begged feeling hot tears roll down her face,

“If you truly understand why I was upset then there’s nothing to fix ok so please just breathe.”

“Tell me that I haven’t lost you.” Raven murmured staring into to dark brown eyes,

“I’m still here aren’t i?” she said tightening her grip on the brunette’s hands, “When all this is over, and I need to decide we’ll do it together that’s all I wanted. Both you and Clarke are my family there never has to be a choice, please remember that.”

“I know.”

“I love you so much Raven, more than I thought I could ever love anyone honestly. You falling from the sky was the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” She smiled pulling the crying girl into her arms,

“I love you too.”

* * *

Not long after their reunion Clarke had cradled a crying Lexa into a light sleep. She knew their conversation was far from over, but she was glad the girl was asleep for many reasons. One she looked like she hadn’t slept in days, so she knew she needed the rest and second it gave her time to collect her own emotions.

There was no way to have expectations for what Lexa’s reaction would be once she saw that she was awake but what the reaction she did get was not what she expected. She figured they’d hug and smile, but she wasn’t the one who had to sit and watch Lexa be unconscious for days not knowing if she would ever wake up, so she understood.

A couple hours into the nap and Clarke could feel the girl stirring, her eyes were still closed but she knew she was awake. A few more minutes passed before she decided to speak first,

“I know you’re awake, are you just not going to speak to me?” Clarke asked causing the brunette to sigh before sitting up and facing her. Her eyes were puffy and red, and her cheeks were stained from the tears. “I said I was sorry.”

“I know.”

“So then say something.”

“What do you want me to say Clarke? That I was scared you were going die or that even though every bone in my body is so happy you’re awake I’m still so upset with you.” She confessed, “You should’ve went to Arkadia.”

“I know.” She sighed,

“But you didn’t instead you chose to ignore your injury, an injury that could’ve killed you!”

“I was being stupid.”

“You were and you almost died because of it, why didn’t you just stop?”

“Because I- I just I- thought I was ok enough to make it back.”

“Don’t Clarke, Echo told me she could tell you knew how bad your injuries were. You knew and you didn’t stop.” She said angrily getting up from the bed,

“I wanted to make it back to you.” She yelled, scared the brunette was walking away,

“You know I would’ve told you to stop at Arkadia had I known.” Lexa replied, her voice cracking.

“I know and I should’ve went to Arkadia, but I was scared because I didn’t know what was wrong or if I would be ok, but I knew that if I had the choice, I wouldn’t die at Arkadia I needed to see you.” She professed, wiping her tears. “I had to make it back to you.”

“And you almost didn’t Clarke!” she yelled, “You almost didn’t, and I almost lost you. You passed out in my arms and I didn’t know if-.”

“I’m sorry Lexa, I-please just- please come back to bed.”

“What if you died trying to make it back to Polis when stopping at Arkadia could’ve saved you?” Lexa asked ignoring the blonde’s pleas, “Trying to come back for me wasn’t worth the risk Clarke.”

“It was.”

“No, It wasn’t!”

“IT WAS, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!” she yelled loudly, immediately grabbing her head as it throbbed. She watched as Lexa’s face filled with worry but also shock at the three words she just said,

“What’s wrong?” she asked rushing toward the bed,

“Nothing it’s just a headache I’m fine. “she sighed, trying to fight through the pain but it was slowly becoming unbearable.

“I’ll get Abby.” Lexa said before rushing out of the room leaving Clarke who was currently in pain in more than one way.

She wanted to tell her to wait, she wanted to finish talking but she was already out the door and tears were flooding her eyes. Her head was on the verge of exploding and her heart was on the cusp of breaking.

It didn’t take long for Abby to rush in and start her medical magic. Clarke didn’t talk much only enough to describe the pain. Abby gave her a pain killer which she took before deciding to lay down. Lexa was there but they didn’t talk, she could barely think let alone talk.

The pressure in her head was letting up so she knew the pain killer was working but she still laid there silently. It was clear they wouldn’t finish their talk tonight, but they also didn’t acknowledge the three words Clarke had blurted an hour before. It wasn’t that she was saying them to hear it back, but not even talking about it was making her anxious. Even if Lexa didn’t love her she knew her feelings so she wasn’t doubting their relationship, she just hoped they could fix this because she didn’t know what she would do if they didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing this with all of my stories but i just want to ask you guys if you're still interested! Sometimes i truly don't know so i just want to make sure people still want more chapters!! If you do just let me know! 
> 
> also thank you for reading!


	27. The Calm🌤

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter today but the next will be a long one.
> 
> also i am very sorry for mistakes i'm trying to get better at proof reading i just get so excited to post but you guys deserve the best so i'm working on it!

“I’m really glad you’re awake.” Anya smiled,

“Thanks Anh.” It was the next morning and Clarke was still in bed, nursing a minor headache but she felt fine.

“I missed you getting on my nerves during training.” She added,

“Well don’t worry you won’t have to miss me too much longer.” Clarke smiled, ignoring the disapproving look from Lexa who was sitting across the room pretending to read a book. They hadn’t talked much since last night and it was driving Clarke crazy.

“Did Abby say you were ok?” Anya asked,

“I’m fine.” Clarke replied ignoring the sound of Lexa’s book slamming against the table, “I think I’m going to get in the shower.” Clarke announced before getting out of bed with Anya’s help.

She hadn’t walked much since she woke up yesterday, so her legs were a slightly numb. On her way to the bathroom, she felt her balance become a little shaky. Lexa was moving to help her, but Clarke stopped her.

“I got it.” she said lowly before entering the room. She understood Lexa was upset but they couldn’t just go on like this. They needed to talk because if they didn’t things would only get worse.

* * *

* * *

“Is everything ok?” Anya asked, the room had been filled with tension since she entered but she didn’t know why. “Did Abby not say she was fine?”

“Abby couldn’t say much of anything.” Lexa snapped, her voice filled with anger but mostly sadness, “She said there could be lasting damage, but Clarke doesn’t seem to be worried.”

“She seems better.” Anya said trying to be assuring but she knew Lexa so she knew no matter what she said it wouldn’t matter, “At least she’s awake now.”

Lexa sighed going back to her seat at the small table in her room. She was happy Clarke was awake, but she was still worried. Her head was still hurting especially after their fight last night, which she should’ve never started. She was upset with Clarke’s actions, but she didn’t want to cause the girl to be in more pain. And then there was the fact that she told her she loved her and like an idiot she didn’t say it back.

“I just need her to be ok.” Lexa mumbled,

“She will be Clarke is to stubborn to die.” Anya quipped,

“She is definitely stubborn.”

* * *

* * *

After the longest and hottest shower her skin could take Clarke slowly got dressed in shorts and an oversized sweater. Her whole shower was spent going over her and Lexa’s fight and she concluded that she couldn’t do it anymore. It had barely been 24 hours, but they had been avoiding the conversation too long.

So, after she cleaned up her mess and fixed her wet hair into a messy bun, she made her way back to the bedroom. Anya was gone and Lexa was fixing the bed with new sheets and furs. She wasn’t even sure if the brunette slept last night but it was clear that she was tired.

“I figured you would like fresh covers.” Lexa said pulling the furs back enough for Clarke to climb in,

“Thank you.” She smiled cuddling into the softness, “I know you’re still mad at me, but will you please come to bed.”

“I have a meeting soon.” Lexa sighed, ignoring the first half of the girl’s sentence.

“Just for a few minutes.” Clarke said pushing the covers back,

“Ok.” Lexa relented, slipping off her boots and jacket before climbing into the bed.

Clarke cuddled into her arms sighing at her warmth, she knew they needed to talk but enjoying this moment seemed so much more enticing.

“We need to talk.” Clarke finally murmured a few minutes later, hearing Lexa sigh.

“I know.”

Before Clarke could reply a knock at the door interrupted and Anya walked in,

“They’re here.”

“I’ll be down in a second.” Lexa nodded, waiting for the door to close before standing.

“Who’s here?” Clarke asked curiously watching the brunette redress,

“I’ve asked a few clan leaders to join me in polis, only the ones I trust fully seeing as we could be on the brink of another war.”

“Is Kane among those leaders?” Clarke asked, she needed to talk to him about her dream. Well not about the dream itself but she needs clarity on a few things.

“Yes, don’t worry I know you have your doubts about him, but Bellamy will also be joining us.”

“Ok.” She nodded watching as Lexa walked towards the door, “Wait.” She called getting up to follow, “Promise me that we will talk later.”

“I promise.” She nodded, leaning into the blondes touch as she cradled her cheek.

“Ok.” Clarke whispered before leaning in to connect their lips, it was short and sweet, but it was enough for her for now. They hadn’t kissed since the day she left to find Roan over a week ago, so she was thankful for even a peck.

Without another glance she turned and walked to bed hearing the door shut before the covers even hit her skin. She hated this, she hated everything about this, the fighting, the boring bedrest, the not being able to help with their latest enemy. Being cooped up in this room with her thought was the last thing she needed, maybe a walk would help.

“Clarke!”

The startled blonde looked up to see an excited Octavia running her way,

“I’m so glad you’re ok.” She exclaimed climbing into the huge bed to give the girl a hug, “I was so scared, but I knew you’d pull through. I tried to see you this morning, but Lexa said you were sleep and she looked pissed when I knocked.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re here now. “she smiled, “I feel like I never see you anymore, I miss you.” On the ark Clarke would make it a point to see the girl at least once a week but down here the younger girl could have her own life and Clarke wanted that for her. She wanted her to explore new things and meet new people and actually live so as long as she was doing that, she was happy, but she needed to make it a point to see her more.

“Me too, but like you said I’m here now, so you better take advantage of me. “she smirked, “What should we do?”

“I was thinking a walk.”

* * *

* * *

Lexa watched as the clan leaders filled into the meeting room, it was refreshing to see faces of those she knew she could trust. These clans were ones aligned with Trikru well before the end of the last war. They were her biggest supporters and allies during her early staged of creating the coalition. Every decision she’s made they stood by it so she knew they could be trusted.

“Heda.” Luna smiled bowing slightly,

“Hello Luna, how have you been?”

“Good, better than you it seems.” She quipped, “I see you’ve managed to gain a few more enemies.”

“It seems so.” She said smiling slightly, her relationship with Luna was a tricky one.

They had met in Polis when they were both training as Nightblood’s, at the time Luna was the only Nightblood who didn’t see her as an enemy which fueled a friendship between them. They trained together but also managed to have some fun to Titus’s dismay.

He hated their friendship, claiming it to be unproductive and did everything in his power to pit the two against each other and it worked. When the previous commander died, and the conclave began their friendship might as well have never existed. They fought each other like enemies until it was just the two of them and Lexa almost killed her before Luna conceded leaving Lexa the victor.

Although she had won, she didn’t feel like the winner, she had almost killed her best friend all because she let Titus’s teaching go to her head. After that, their friendship endured a long stint of recovery before they could even be friendly to each other. It helped a lot when Luna succeeded her father and became floukru’s new chief. It gave the woman more reasons to come to Polis and for them to mend their friendship and although they both know it will never be the same, they still care for each other and consider the other a friend.

“Thank you for coming.” Lexa added,

“You don’t have to thank me, I’m here for you always and so is Floukru you know that.” She smiled before taking her seat,

As the rest of the members took their seats Lexa decided to take hers at the head of the long table.

“I want to thank all of for coming, I know you are all curious as to why I’ve summoned you and I will explain everything. As many of you know Wanheda was hired to find Prince Roan of Azgeda by me and on her journey, she came in contact with what appeared to be rouge Azgeda members. Under further investigation Wanheda and her companion discovered that a bigger plot was at hand.” She paused gazing over everyone seeing they were all listening closely, “I’ve been made aware of a group calling themselves the order, they are from Sankru and essentially they want to take over Azgeda territory. They planned to kidnap the Queen and assumably the prince in order to kill them. Many members of this group were placed into Polis and possibly other places as spies. We’ve captured many already and they are being held for prosecution. The reason you all are here is because I’m expecting Sankru to fight back and when it come time to pick a side the people in this room are the only ones I expect to be on mine.”

“Has Sankru attacked Heda?” Mitus leader of the Delphi Clan asked,

“Not directly, we’ve tried to keep the problem contained but for all we know someone had warned Visha already.”

“Visha is a part of this?” Luna asked surprised,

“According to my source she is the leader, or shall I say their Queen since that is what she is calling herself.”

“Fitting.” Erie mumbled; she was here on the behalf of Trikru since Elena could not make it. Usually that job would be Anya’s but seeing as the woman was doing other things for Lexa, she was unavailable. “Visha has always had a way about her.”

“I agree.” Mitus said, “Sankru has never been trustworthy, it doesn’t surprise me that they have started an uprising.”

“Does Silas know of this?” Luna asked, Silas was the leader and Chief of Sankru.

“I can’t confirm that he does but it is unlikely all of this is going on and he is completely blind to it.” Lexa answered, “Now that you know what has happened over the past week I need to know if it comes down to a battle you will stand with me and honor not only my coalition but our friendship.”

“Floukru is with you Heda.” Luna said almost immediately, her clan was a peaceful one but if the commander needed them, they’d be there no questions asked.

“Delfikru as well.”

“Do I even have to say it?” Erie smirked; Lexa was Trikru it was a given they would stand with her.

The only one who had yet to say anything was Skaikru, Lexa noticed Kane’s silence but said nothing of it. He was the odd one out everyone else has known each other for years but she knew Clarke’s reservations with the man, so she made it a point to keep an eye on him.

She could see Bellamy nudge the older man who stood and also pledge his allegiance.

“Very well.” Lexa nodded,

They spent the remainder of the meeting going over possible strategies and other things pertaining to the current problem. Lexa couldn’t shake the fact that Kane looked a little uncomfortable as the meeting progressed. So, when it was over, and she dismissed everyone she went to talk to the man catching the end of him and Bellamy’s conversation.

“I just don’t understand what this has to do with us.” Kane murmured to the boy who looked exhausted with the man altogether.

“I’d be happy to explain it.” Lexa said catching the man off guard who’s face filled with fear at the sight of the commander,

“Commander-.”

“Or maybe you shouldn’t have never entered my coalition if you don’t understand the extent of what you were getting into.” Lexa interrupted,

“I meant no disrespect commander.”

“And yet here we are.” She said plainly, “Once again I have to go out of my way to explain to you why you shouldn’t be questioning my decisions. This is last warning you get, either you are my people 100% and we fight our battles together or you’re not and I’d hate for your people to pay the price of your stupidity.”

Lexa didn’t give the man a chance to reply before she was halfway out of the door. She already had too many problems and she refused to let Kane be yet another one.

With a deep breathe she made her way to her room where she knew a certain blonde was waiting. She knew they needed to talk, and she wanted to, but she knew by waiting this long to it added more confusion and uncertainty than intended. She was upset with Clarke because she almost lost her but that was unfair, she was just scared and now she was awake, and all that fear turned to anger that the blonde didn’t need or deserve.

Lost in her thoughts Lexa walked passed the open windows of the lower levels seeing a flash of blonde that caught her eye. Surly it wasn’t Clarke, but not many people had hair like the sun in Polis. She turned around and walked back to the window and sure enough there she was. Granted she was just sitting there with Octavia watching as the others around her trained, but she was meant to be in bed.

With a huff she made her way outside trying to calm herself down, but Clarke made it quite hard. All she wanted was for the woman to be safe and healthy and it’s like the blonde was against that.

“Clarke.” She said as calmy as she could, the blonde turning around before standing.

“Hey.”

 _Hey? Hey? That’s all she has to say is hey_?

“What are you doing?”

“Getting some air, with O.” she pointed to the younger girl who was trying her hardest to act like she wasn’t listening.

“You should be in bed; you just woke up not 24 hours ago.” Lexa replied,

“I feel fine-.”

“Clarke you have a head injury you need to rest.”

“It’s my body Lexa I think I know when I’m fine.” She sighed,

“Clearly.” The brunette scoffed, seeing the blonde roll her eyes before turning around. She watched as she whispered something to Octavia before hugging her and walking off straight passed Lexa and into the tower.

Lexa sighed before following, they didn’t talk or even look at each other and when they got the room Clarke ignored her all together. She changed out of her pants that she put on to walk with Octavia and climbed into bed closing her eyes.

“Really Clarke?” Lexa huffed taking her own jacket off,

“You wanted me in bed here I am.” Clarke replied, “Feel free to ignore me like you have all day.”

“I haven’t ignored you.”

“You barely look at me unless I’m in pain or need something, so I’d say that’s ignoring me.”

“I’m not trying to ignore you Clarke, you asked if we could talk after my meeting and I want that.” She replied, her voice softer.

“So, talk.” Clarke replied sitting up in bed, “I put everything out there I apologized I even-.” She sighed, “I don’t know what else you want from me Lexa.”

“I want you to care about yourself!” she yelled seeing Clarke wince, her heart ached because she did it again. “I want you to care about your health Clarke. I want you realize you could’ve died.”

“I do realize that Lexa! I made a mistake it was stupid, and I know that. I should’ve went to Arkadia instead of traveling here but I didn’t and i can’t go back and redo it!”

“You really scared me Clarke.” The commander whispered as she sat at the edge of the bed, “I was trying so hard to be positive, but I’ve never been more frightened in my life and when I saw you awake, I was so happy, but I just couldn’t understand why you would make that decision not to help yourself.”

“I’m sorry for scaring you but I never meant to, I underestimated how bad my head was. I thought I could handle it but more than anything I just wanted to come back here to you.” Clarke admitted taking the brunettes hand into her own, “The radio wasn’t working, and we couldn’t talk and after I hit my head and we found out about the order I was worried about you. I was worried they would attack Polis or even you and that made me want to hurry back even more. There’s no excuse in that moment made a stupid decision but I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?” Lexa asked, crippling fear running through her body was Clarke- no there’s no way- they weren’t breaking up but what if-.

“Fight and be mad at each other.” Clarke said and Lexa let out a sigh of relief, “There’s already so much happening, and I don’t want you being mad at me, just tell me how to fix it.”

“There’s nothing to fix Clarke.” she sighed, “I was upset because you weren’t putting your wellbeing first which almost caused me to lose you and I- I can’t lose you. I need you here and alive with me-.”

“And I will be.” Clarke interrupted moving towards the woman and hugging her from behind, the smell of her lavender oil invading her senses, but she loved it. She peppered kissing down the back of her neck along her infinity tattoo before reaching around to kiss her cheek, “I’m here with you and I don’t plan on going anywhere ever.”

“I do love you Clarke, I hope you know that.” Lexa whispered, her heart was beating out of her chest, “Being this- being vulnerable is new to me but I am trying, and I want you to know how I feel and I’m sorry if sometimes I don’t make it clear.”

“Look at me.” Clarke said turning the brunette around, so they were facing each other, “These past three months have been the best and you have been amazing. I don’t need you to vocalize how you feel about me because I know I can feel it. When you look at me, I get butterflies and when we kiss it’s like fireworks every single time.”

“Like in the movies.”

“Exactly like the movies.” Clarke laughed, pushing their foreheads together, “I never want you to apologize for who you are because I know. I understand and I love everything about you. I love the annoyed face you make when Titus interrupts our make out sessions. I love seeing you be Heda and how much you truly care for your people. I love how much you care about me and take care of me especially now. I love making you laugh because you’re so beautiful and I love seeing you smile as much as possible. We’re so different yet we have so much in common and it’s why you never have to explain yourself to me, I already know.”

Lexa could feel tears stinging her eyes, but she wasn’t letting them fall, instead she took her girlfriends lips into her own sighing at the feeling. No one’s ever said anything like that to her before not even Costia when they were together, but it wasn’t because they didn’t feel that way it just wasn’t something they did. But with Clarke she’s finding herself doing many things she never would’ve thought she’d do, and she was ok with that.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Clarke grinned giving her another peck neither hearing the door open,

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Abby squeaked seeing her daughter entangled with the commander,

“It’s ok mom.” Clarke chuckled moving to sit next to Lexa who's face was beet red, “What’s up?”

“I came to check on you and give you your medicine.” She answered holding up her bag.

“Do I need it?” Clarke asked practically hearing Lexa roll her eyes beside her, “I just mean my head hasn’t hurt much today.”

“And that’s good but that doesn’t mean you’re all healed Clarke.” Abby sat her bag on the table before pulling out a few bottles of pills, getting two out and handing it to her daughter, “The other two I don’t want you to take until later because they will make you drowsy.”

Clarke nodded grabbing her cup of water from the nightstand and swallowing the two small blue pills putting the other ones on the nightstand for later.

“Has anything bothered you today?” Abby asked, “And be honest please.”

“Not really, I woke up a little nauseous, but food helped and if I start getting a headache the ringing sound will start.”

“Are you sure nothing’s wrong Abby?” Lexa asked,

“From what we could tell there was only swelling which was causing her brain to press against her skull most likely causing the headaches. Usually those are fixed with surgery where you remove a piece of the skull but her swelling has gone down significantly over the past few days so I don’t think that will be necessary.” Abby explained, “As far as lasting damage everything seems fine but TBI’s can be tricky, so far Clarke is doing well. Her speaking and motor skills are fine and her memory as well which are all good things.”

“How long do I have to stay in bed?” Clarke asked, she was already tired of it she missed being active and training and everything.

“A few more days, it wouldn’t hurt to take short walks or get some air but lets start that tomorrow.”

“What about training?” she asked eagerly,

“Clarke, I think I would be best to wait at least a couple of months, you were just in a coma sweetie and who knows what would happened if you got hit in the head or worse.” Abby replied hating the disappointed look on her daughter face, but this was about her safety. “We’ll talk more about it as you recover, I’ll leave you girls but don’t hesitate to come and get me if something changes.”

“We won’t.” Lexa assured,

Clarke only nodded a reply before slipping under the covers of her and Lexa’s bed.

“Knock, knock!” Raven cheered walking in the room with Bellamy by her side just as Abby was leaving, 

“Visitors galore isn’t it.” Clarke mumbled,

“Grumpy I just came to see how you were doing.” Raven said,

“And I came to apologize for Kane’s behavior.” Bellamy said mostly to Lexa,

“What did he do now?” Clarke groaned, as if she wasn’t already starting to doubt Kane.

“He’s an idiot, he doesn’t have to do much.” Bellamy huffed,

“Lex, what did he do?” Clarke asked,

“I think he just needs to realize how things work here is not how things worked up there in the sky.” Lexa replied,

“Maybe I should be the person to make him realize that.” Clarke said,

“I can handle Kane Clarke.” Lexa assured,

“I don’t doubt that at all, but I also have some issues I need to work out with him.”

“And that would be?” Raven asked curiously,

“I think I need to tell my parents about what happened with Jaha and the real deal that I made with Kane.” She said seeing Raven and Bellamy’s eyes go wide,

“Really?”

“Yes.” She nodded, “I don’t know how to explain this, but I had the craziest dream and it just made me realize things. I’ve always tried to give Kane the benefit of the doubt but I’m starting to think he’s no better than Jaha and Arkadia deserve a good leader for once.”

“Are you saying that is you?” Lexa asked wondering if Clarke was finally embracing her leadership qualities.

“I don’t want to be chancellor but if that is the only way to push Kane out then I’ll do what I have to.” Clarke shrugged, “But I’m thinking there is someone way more qualified for the job, we just have to find them.”

“We can worry about that after we’ve dealt with our current threat.” Lexa announced, “For now you recover.”

“Dinners soon, will you two be coming down?” Raven asked,

“Am I allowed to leave the bed commander?” Clarke asked a teasing smirk on her face, “Just for dinner and I’ll rest.”

“Fine.” Lexa relented hiding her smile at the excited blonde, Abby said it was fine for her to be up for short amounts of time and she knew Clarke was getting restless.

When they got downstairs Lexa ordered her guards to set up a big, long table so all of them could eat together. She knew Clarke missed her friends and family, so she wanted them all to enjoy this meal together similar to the blonde’s birthday. Once everyone was seated and eating, she couldn’t help but smile a little at how happy her blonde looked. Loving someone this much felt like it wasn’t humanly possible but yet here she was fully in love with her Skai girl and as impossible as it felt it also was the realist thing she’s ever felt.

Clarke looked over seeing Lexa starring lovingly at her and she couldn’t help but smile. She connected their hands under the table and that’s how they remained the rest of the meal. Once they got back upstairs Clarke made Lexa join her in bed, she hated seeing how tired the brunette looked and tonight she would make sure she got a good night’s rest.

Both woman rested in each other’s arms safe and soundly unaware of the storm that was brewing and coming their way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so conflict is heading our way i haven't decided if everyone will make it out alive or not hmmmmm............. decisions decisions
> 
> as always thank you so much for your comments and kudos! i love you for reading!!!


	28. The Build Up🌦

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter because i Thought i'd give you some fluff before the angst.....

It had been a week since Clarke woke up from her limited stay in her subconscious- which she was still trying to figure out if that was a crazy elaborate dream- and she was going stir crazy. Lexa barely let her get a cup of water in her own let leave the tower for long periods of time. Her headaches were manageable and for the most part she felt fine, but they were still fighting an unknown enemy and Lexa wanted her to stay safe. And she understood that, but she was bored and more than anything she wanted to train.

What little time she did spend outside of her room was in the training grounds watching and when that became too depressing, she would go up to the library and draw but soon enough that got boring.

Today was one of those days where Lexa was in meeting and she was left in their room. Everyone else seemed to be busy too so she decided to go see someone she hasn’t seen since she arrived back in Polis.

Once she got to their room, she knocked a few times before the big burly man came to the door.

“Wanheda.” He said upon seeing the blonde,

“Just call me Clarke.”

“As long as you don’t call me Prince.” He replied a slight smile on his face,

“Deal, I was wondering if you would like to take a walk with me.”

“Did the commander send you?” Roan asked curiously,

“No, we haven’t had much time to talk since I brought you here and if I’m being honest, I’m quite bored and you seem to be the only person not doing anything.”

Roan nodded suppressing a smile, he grabbed his jacket before following the blonde down the empty halls. The first few minutes were quiet but comfortable as they made their way through the towers. Finally, they made it to the ground floor where there was seating with a clear view of the training grounds.

“Lexa told me you saved her life once.” Clarke said breaking their silence. “She thinks it was Sankru who sent the assassin after her.”

“It was my mother.” Roan said plainly, “Lexa was on the verge of forming her Coalition and killing her would’ve stopped that and most likely the wars would’ve continued.”

“Why did you save her?”

“Lexa is special.” Roan replied, his eyes still trained on the warriors outside, “I was raised to be ruthless, to be everything that my mother wanted me to be, but I never wanted any of it. I’ve killed and spied all for the simple fact that mother wanted power. I could tell Lexa was different, she didn’t crave power, but she wielded it easily she is a natural born leader and that’s what we all needed. The clan wars were killing more people than it was worth and if you ask people why they were fighting they couldn’t give you a straight answer if they tried. Lexa wanted to end that, she wanted peace and even though I knew my mother would never enter her coalition I also knew that if it went through it would limit her power. Saving Lexa was the easiest choice I’ve ever made because it saved so many other people when she finally ended the wars.”

“I don’t know how you dealt with Nia all those years.” Clarke sighed, “I was only dealing with her for a week and I was ready to slit her throat.”

“That was just my life, it was all I knew it took falling in love with a pacifist to see I could have more if I decided I wanted it.” Roan replied, his voice filled with sorrow. “Klara changed everything for me, I never believed in anything my mother did over the years, but Klara made me realize I don’t have to be like her. I never knew I had a choice and to fault I didn’t, the moment my mother saw me straying from the path she wanted for me she took everything. When Klara was dead for a moment, I thought that meant I had to stay but I knew I had to leave, or she died for nothing.”

“I’m sorry about Klara.”

“Me too.” Roan sighed,

“Now that you’re here what do you plan to do?” Clarke asked as an attempt to change the subject,

“I suppose I am going to help the commander with Azgeda.”

“Then what?”

“I don’t know, I guess I haven’t thought about it.”

“Would you ever go back to Azgeda?” Clarke asked, and the man shrugged.

“When I left, I never thought I would but now that my mother is gone, I don’t know.”

“What’s snow like?” Clarke asked curiously,

“Cold but beautiful, the gifted Azgeda citizens can even make sculptures from it.”

“Like a snow man?” Clarke smile but Roan seemed confused by the term, “Oh come on like when you roll three big balls of snow and stack them on each other and use a carrot for the nose and rocks for the eyes.”

“I’ve never heard of this.” He replied, his brows furrowing as he tried to imagine what Clarke described,

“Have you ever seen a movie?” Clarke smiled getting the best idea,

“Movie?” he asked, and Clarke sighed,

“Come on.” She huffed standing up, “It’s better if I just show you.”

* * *

* * *

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Me and Raven have talked, and I think this is the best choice for both of us.” Anya replied,

“I don’t need you to think I need you to be sure about this decision Anya.” Lexa stated, adjusting in her throne.

“I am sure.” Anya enforced, “This is what I want.”

“Ok.” Lexa nodded, “When do you leave?”

“Not until Sankru has been dealt with, then me and Raven will make arrangements to go back to TonDC.”

“For how long?”

“A month or two.” Anya replied, “I’ve spoken with Elena through the radio and she wants me to train Erie as my second before I return to Polis to become yours.”

“I don’t mean to be repetitive but are you sure this is something you want Anya. This is not an easy job to be burden with.”

“I know but it’s a change I need, I love TonDC, but I want to be here with you by your side.”

“Then you shall.” Lexa said a slight smile on her face, truthfully, she assumed the Anya would choose to return to TonDC for good, but she was glad she would have her here. “We’ll discuss it more after our war.”

“Speaking of, are there any new developments?”

“No.” Lexa huffed standing from her throne, “My scouts tell me everything has been quiet but that only puts me on edge more. For all we know Visha could be planning something, I want to be prepared for that.”

“Until then?” Anya asked,

“Meetings have concluded, and dinner will be soon, I know Clarke is dying to get out of the tower so I ordered Indra to have food brought to my private garden so we can eat outside. You and Raven should join us.”

“We’ll meet you.” Anya nodded before leaving the room, Lexa following suit after grabbing her pauldron.

She made quick work getting to her chambers, she knew Clarke was getting impatient with her recovery and she tried to be with her as much as possible but right now it proved impossible with everything going on. Most of her days were spent with the war chiefs trying to discuss battle plans and whether they should attack Sankru or let them move first. She did however always make it to bed which was something her and Clarke agreed upon. Unless there was something dire, Lexa would be in bed every night even if she couldn’t sleep. Having Clarke in her arms always calmed her mind.

As she approached her room the guards bowed before opening the door, Lexa walked in expecting to see Clarke in bed or drawing at the table, but it was empty.

“Where is Wanheda?” Lexa asked one of the guards,

“In your study Heda.” He answered and Lexa walked over to the door that connected to her private study revealing a strange sight.

“So, because Elsa loved Ana that thawed her heart?” Roan asked curiously as the ending of the movie continued playing out,

“Yep.” Clarke replied, “An act of true love, other movies will have you believe that means you need a man to save you but in this one it’s all about family.”

“Interesting, these movies are very peculiar. You watched stuff like this on your home?”

“Yeah, on the ark there is a data base with files backed onto from the old world. So, we have music, movies, school lessons, instructional videos pretty much everything. Raven managed to restore it back in Arkadia and she backed everything up on these tablets.”

“Hm.” He hummed digesting all the information,

“Alright I have to know which song was your favorite?” Clarke asked excitedly neither of them noticing Lexa watching from the door,

“They were all interesting, but I think I liked the one about building a snow man.” Roan replied plainly and Clarke laughed, “How about you?”

“Definitely first time in forever.” Clarke nodded,

Lexa wanted to make her presence known but she was finding it rather entertaining seeing a man such as Roan talking very casually about what she learned is called a cartoon. Finally, when they started to discuss how much of a branwoda Hans was she decided to cough causing both of them to turn.

“Heda.” Roan said hopping up to bow at the woman,

“Roan, I see Clarke has shown you the magic that are movies.”

“Yes, I am very impressed with Skaikru and their gadgets. Clarke has opened my eyes to many things I didn’t know existed. Like snowmen.” Roan replied causing the blonde to chuckle,

“We made plans to build one once winter has started.” Clarke adds, “Are you finished with your meetings?”

“Yes, I’ve come to get you for dinner it’s nice out so I thought we could eat in the garden.” Lexa said, her heart warming at the huge grin on the blonde’s excited face,

“That sounds perfect.” Clarke smiled,

“Roan would you like to join us?” Lexa asked the man who shook his head quickly,

“No heda, I would hate to be an intrusion.”

“You wouldn’t Anya and Raven will be joining us as well.” She insisted,

“Come on Roan, you can pick Ravens brain on all the technology stuff she’ll live for it too.” Clarke smiled, poking the man. In the past few hours, they seemed to become something close to friends. She thought he was funny even though most of the time he wasn’t trying to be, and he thought she was interesting which added to the dynamic.

“Ok.” Roan nodded, “I will go change and meet you there.”

Both girls nodded waiting for the man to leave before Clarke practically jumped into her girlfriends waiting arms.

“I missed you.” Clarke smiled kissing the girl,

“I was only gone a few hours.” Lexa laughed,

“Still too long.” Clarke murmured over the brunette’s plump lips that she loved, until a realization hit her, “Oh god, am I becoming that girl?”

“That girl?” Lexa furrowed her brow, most of the time she can decipher Clarkes little phrases but this one she could not,

“The clingy girl who always wants to be near her girlfriend.”

“I don’t think you are clingy.” Lexa said honestly, “I love your excitement when I return to our room.”

“Yeah, that’s because you’re trying to turn me into a housewife.” Clarke grinned before giving her one last peck and heading into the bedroom,

“I am not I just want you to recover.” Lexa said following her, “But what is wrong with being a housewife?”

“Can you seriously see me being a housewife?” Clarke asked quirking her brow,

“No.” Lexa knew Clarke was way too proactive to ever do something so taming, “But until you recover fully, I just want you to be careful doesn’t mean I’m turning you into a housewife. Plus aren’t housewives supposed to clean?” Lexa asked looking around their messy room, drawings were scattered everywhere as wells as clothes all from the princess herself.

“Like I said not a housewife.” Clarke joked, “I was looking for my necklace and, in the process, I may have disrupted a few things.”

“A few?”

“Ok Shhhh, I’m going to get it but for now let’s go eat.” Clarke said excitedly dragging Lexa out of their room.

Clarke was excited to be spending time outside, not that she hasn’t, but it’s been limited thanks to the newest threat, but she planned to take full advantage while she can.

Lexa’s private garden was something straight from a movie, the flowers were beautiful and perfect along with different types of plants. There is also a barn that Clarke had discovered over the passed week. Initially she assumed there would only be horses there, but it also housed chickens and pigs which Lexa informed her are imported from different villages. 

When they arrived in the garden a huge spread of food awaited them on a large fur on the grass. Clarke could see there was a little of everything from different smoked meats and cheeses as well as some fruits and different side such as potatoes and greens.

“Smells amazing.” Clarke said as she took her seat on the fur crossing her legs under her, “Thank you for doing this.”

“Anything for my Skaiprisa.” Lexa smiled, a few seconds later hearing the others arrive.

“Wow this is nice.” Raven complimented as she took a seat on the other side of Clarke, “Thanks for the invite Lex.”

“Yes, thank you Heda.” Roan bowed before also taking his seat,

“Shit, I’m supposed to be calling you that aren’t I?” Raven asked, a few days before she slipped up in a meeting about the heaters she was building, and she was sure Titus was about to cut her tongue out for not calling her Heda.

“It’s fine Raven, as of right now I am just Lexa that goes for you too Roan.”

Roan nodded and Raven hummed a reply as she was already digging into her favorite which was the ham. Clarke to grabbed her favorites which right now were boar and a spicy cheese Lexa introduced her too. She also enjoyed all the fruits so far, the only one she didn’t like was an orange other than that she loved fruit.

The group ate and talked casually for the next few hours, Roan picking Ravens brain on anything technology which she was glad to oblige in. They stayed that way for at least a couple of hours until the sun a fully set. Lexa ordered the torches to be lit so they could enjoy the cool night breeze for a little longer.

Clarke settled into Lexa’s arms as the lightly talked mostly admiring the stars.

“Do you ever miss your home in the sky?” Lexa asked the blonde as she combed through her blonde locks with her fingers.

“The Ark never really felt like a home to me, but there are things I miss like the observation deck or art classes but other than that no.” Clarke replied, “Do you ever miss living in TonDC?”

“Sometimes, mostly I miss my nomon and being in the village. I missed it terribly once I became commander and had to live in Polis. Living in the tower never felt like home but when I built my house here that helped my longing. It is much like my nomon’s home and it helped me not only deal with missing her but also separating myself from being commander.”

“Why don’t you stay there?” Clarke knew Lexa had a house here, she passes it often to get to the training grounds. It’s a nice home but she’s never been inside because since she arrived Lexa has lived in the tower.

“Initially It was because we were dealing with Nia and being in the tower made since until the threat was eliminated but once that was over, I just didn’t want to go back.” Lexa sighed, “That was a home I loved for many years, but I once shared it with Costia and now I just feel like I’ve outgrown it. I want to move on and maybe build a new home, perhaps with you.”

“You want to build a home with me?” Clarke asked turning around to face the brunette,

“We have both declared we don’t want this relationship to end and one day I would like to build a home with you here.” Lexa smiled, “Only if you would like that.”

“Only if you don’t try to make me a housewife.” Clarke replied a smirk creeping onto her face,

“I wouldn’t dare.” Lexa chuckled pulling the blonde back into her arms,

As the night progressed the colder it got so the group decided to retire to their rooms. Clarke and Lexa walked hand in hand- something they did on occasion- to their rooms where the guards were still there and greeted them.

Clarke assisted Lexa with her chest bindings and knives- like the little housewife that she is- before cleaning up her own mess and hopping into to bed. She sat on her elbows watching Lexa slip out of her tight leather pants and shirt and into her soft sleep gown that Clarke got her at the market.

“Enjoying the show?” Lexa teased, as she worked on taking out her remaining braids,

“Mhmm, I sure am.” Clarke smirked, they hadn’t done anything since Clarke incident and she had to admit just seeing Lexa’s body could make her wet, “In fact-.” Clarke said getting up from the bed and walking over to the woman, “I enjoyed it so much, I’d like to see it again.” She whispered, softly pushing off the sleeves of the gown leaving the brunette fully exposed.

Clarke grazed over the soft pink buds with her fingertips causing Lexa to hiss at the coldness, next her fingers smoothed over the flat toned stomach grabbing her waist and pulling her closer. Soon she felt her own clothes being taken off which she happily assisted with and soon they were both naked and staring with dark eyes over the others body.

“Have I told you I loved you today?” Clarke asked as she circled around the brunette taking in the full view, running her fingers down the tattoo that decorated her back and the one on her arm before coming to her neck placing soft kisses on the infinity sign.

“I don’t think so.” Lexa mumbled, feeling her body being explored by cold hands.

“Well, that’s unacceptable.” Clarke smiled, placing a kiss on the girl’s neck, “Let me make it up to you that way I can show you as well as tell you.”

Before Lexa could reply a loud thumping noise rang out from the other side of their door causing both girls to freeze, a few seconds later they heard another, and Lexa’s dress was on and her sword was in her hand.

“Go into the study.” Lexa ordered Clarke as she was slipping her shorts and sweater back on,

“I’m not leaving you.” Clarke said grabbing her own sword once she was dress and walked towards the door feeling Lexa grab her,

“Please.” She begged but Clarke wasn’t budging, “Fine, stay behind me.” Lexa huffed making her way to the door, Clarke close behind. Once she knew the blonde was concealed by her, she opened the locked door using it as a shield hearing footsteps in the hall,

A second later an arrow flew by them landing on their bedpost, someone in dark clothing rushing in. Lexa drew her sword cutting the person on their side before finishing with a blow to his chest. Another one entered as well but Clarke took him off noticing their guard’s dead on the ground.

They didn’t hear any other sounds or movements for a minute until they heard shouting down the halls. It was in Trig, but Clarke and Lexa recognized the voice and step into the hall.

“Anya.” Lexa said rushing to the girl and several other guards, “What is it?”

“Sankru has attacked the tower.”

* * *

[My tumblr🤍](http://lexkru.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next The Storm  
> Thank you for reading make sure to comment it lets me know you guys are still interested!!!!!!!!!


	29. The Storm🌪

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone is stubborn and Lexa gets Challenged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while....... sorry for that anyways hope you enjoy!
> 
> Sorry for mistakes!

“What floors have they taken?” Lexa asks, as she quickly threw on appropriate clothes since not ten minutes ago, she was naked and about to enjoy a very fun night with her girlfriend. To say the least she did not expect the night to go this way.

“Just the first but our guards took out most of them, obviously a few got through somethings off about this Lexa.”

“Where is Raven?” Clarke asked the older woman,

“She’s fine, she’s safe.” Anya assured,

“Where is she?” Clarke pushed, it’s not that she didn’t believe Anya, but she needed to be 100% sure.

“We have the prisoners on the upper level, she is there.” Anya replied, “Octavia and Lincoln are guarding as well as Indra and Gustus so it’s safe.”

“I need to go there then.” Clarke said grabbing her boots not really caring all she was wearing were shorts and a sweater.

“Clarke.”

“Don’t fight me on this Lexa.” They had no clue what was going on and there was no way she was leaving Raven regardless of how many guards there are.

Lexa sighed walking over to the blonde,

“Just let them do a sweep and we will go together.”

Clarke huffed before grabbing some pants and going to the bathroom, if they were going to have to fight, she figured she should be ready. Once her pants were on, she grabbed her knifes placing them in the pockets designed to hold them and then she got her sword. She quickly braided her long blonde locks before rejoining the others in the main room.

“It’s clear.” Anya called from the hall,

Clarke and Lexa joined her as well as a few warriors to the lift that took them to the prisoners. Lexa knew something like this would happen especially with how quiet it had been. She should’ve been more prepared; she should’ve been expecting this but instead she almost allowed Clarke- her love to be harmed.

Looking at Clarke now she could tell the blonde was only worried about her friends, but Lexa was worried about her. This is where love truly makes her weak because she wants to protect Clarke, but she had a duty to her people as well, so she needs to have a clear mind and she needs Clarke safe to do that.

Once they reached the floor where the prisoners were being kept Lexa went to talk with Indra and Gustus while Clarke ran to Raven and Octavia.

“Thank god.” Raven sighed into the blonde’s arms, “Did they-.”

“No.” Clarke shook her head, “We killed them before they could, what about you are you hurt?”

“No, Anya brought me here before anything happened.”

“What exactly is happening?” Octavia asks quietly,

“I don’t know, all I know is it’s Sankru.” Clarke murmured looking over to Lexa who was in full commander mode. She could tell by her face whatever Indra was telling her wasn’t good and that worried her. It worried her that anyone could get so close to killing Lexa and it made her want to run her sword through every prisoner on this floor just for even being apart of this scheme.

“Looks like we’re about to find out.” Raven mumbled seeing Anya walk towards them, “Babe.”

“The commander wants me to escort all of you to a safe room.” Anya said ignoring the looks from nearly everyone, “It’ll be heavily guarded by only our trusted warriors and it’ll be safe.”

“I need to talk to Lexa.” Clarke said attempting to walk over to the girl but was stopped by Anya, “Don’t.”

“Clarke let her do her job, she can’t do that if she doesn’t know you’re safe.”

“I want to talk to her.” Clarke demanded, “I’ll make a scene in here if you don’t let me go.”

“Do you always have to be so dramatic.” Anya grumbled, “You need to learn when to separate your head from your heart because right now is one of those times where you need to.”

“I just want to talk to her.” Clarke said staring into Anya’s eyes, “Please.”

“It’s not up to me.” She sighed, letting the girls arm go.

Clarke sighed looking over to Lexa who seemed to be watching the interaction, Clarke gave her a look which made the brunette huff before nodded her head, so she made her way over. Lexa opened a door to a private room leading the blonde into it.

“I knew you wouldn’t go easily.” Lexa sighed, her hands behind her back and her metaphorical mask on.

“I’m not going anywhere you aren’t.” Clarke said simply staring into hard green eyes, Lexa could try all she wanted to put on her commander act with her, but she saw past it. Clarke saw her, all the time whether she was in war paint or in bed in her arms. She knew Lexa inside and out.

“Don’t fight with me about this Clarke.” Lexa begged,

“Do you really think I can be sitting in some room wondering if you’re ok?”

“I need you safe so I can deal with what’s to come.”

“We’ll deal with it together.”

“No.” Lexa shook her head, “That’s not how this works not with this, I am Heda I bare this alone.”

“But you’re not alone anymore and I refuse to leave your side.” Clarke said grabbing the brunette’s hand.

“As your commander I’m ordering you to go with Anya to the safe room.”

“And if I disobey your order?”

“Clarke.” She said frustratingly, “We don’t have time for this, please just… do what I’m asking you please.”

“People almost killed you tonight Lexa!” the blonde shouted, “They almost killed you and I can’t be in some room wondering if they got another chance to or not.”

“They almost killed you too Clarke! Don’t you understand that’s why I need you somewhere safe, somewhere out of the way while I deal with this.”

“The safest place for me is by your side Lexa, I will stand in the corner and be out of the way just please don’t send me away.”

“I’m trying to keep you safe ai hodnes.” She reiterated resting her head on the blonde’s shoulder, “If something happened to you I-.”

“Nothing is going to happen to me if I’m by your side.”

Lexa sighed; she knew she should force Clarke to go maybe even have guards take her but then the blonde would never forgive her for that even if it was for her own safety.

“Where you go, I go, that’s forever.” Clarke whispered pulling her closer,

“Ok.” Lexa mumbled taking a deep breathe, “But you don’t leave my side and you do what I say.”

Clarke nodded before walking out of the room and back over to Raven and Anya who seemed to be in their own lovers spat.

“You’re so stubborn.” Anya huffed,

“Yeah, well so are you.” Raven rolled her eyes before seeing Clarke approaching, “Let me guess you talked your way out of the safe room.”

“I’m not leaving her side until this is over, but I do need to make sure you’re safe.” Clarke said,

“My lovely girlfriend is way ahead of you.” Raven mocked turning to the older blonde who rolled her eyes, “Just promise me you’ll be safe.”

“You know I will.” Clarke said giving the brunette a hug before watching her walk out of the room with Octavia and the rest of the group. “Don’t even say it.” she said to Anya knowing what was coming.

“You don’t listen to anything I say anyways so it would be a waste.” The older woman said back,

“I listen to you all the time- just not with this.”

“Don’t you think I’m worried about Raven too Clarke, I am but she understands she can’t be by my side through this. Lexa is the commander, you know that, but you need to understand her job comes first always.”

“I do know that.” Clarke barked back,

“Then act like it.” Anya said before walking away and over to Indra and Gustus,

There have been many times where Clarke was scolded by Anya mostly in training but this time it felt…... different. She understood her point, but she wouldn’t apologize for wanting to keep her girlfriend safe.

“Clarke.” A strong voice she knew was Lexa’s caught her attention, she turned seeing her in her pauldron exuding power, “We are going to the throne room.”

Clarke only nodded ignoring the looks she seemed to be getting from everyone as she took her place by Lexa’s side. They walked in silence and surrounded by guards until they reached the floor the throne room resided on.

Lexa immediately took her seat on the throne ordering Clarke to sit in Skaikru’s ambassadors chair while they waited for the others to arrive. Right now, it would just be war chiefs as they devise a method of attack. Sankru officially declared war the moment they marched on Polis land planning an attack on their oldest building and the commander.

For hours they sat and talked, and Clarke was silent the whole time for the most part she was hardly even listening. It’s not that she didn’t care- she did but she was on alert. She sized up every person who walked through the door and anyone who even looked at Lexa because she didn’t trust anyone. It didn’t matter if Lexa said they could be trusted her mind wouldn’t let her accept that.

This plot with Sankru has been going on much longer than anyone knew and there was no telling who was on their side or not so until they figured this out Clarke was watching everyone closely.

For the most part nothing really happened until Titus came in with the new that a nearby village filled with Azgeda citizens was attacked. Lexa had agreed to let those Azgeda take shelter in the village a few weeks ago, they weren’t warriors or fighter most were even elders and now she could only assume the majority of them were gone.

“How many dead?” Lexa asks, her jaw clenched,

“Undetermined Heda, but there is something else.” Titus said,

“Get on with It Titus.”

“The attacker, Visha kom Sankru has been captured.”

Lexa couldn’t help but let her guard slip a little at the news, Visha the leader of all this has been caught just like that? After what was probably years of planning and waiting, she was captured after a small attack. No, something wasn’t right about that.

“Where is she now?” Lexa asked the man.

“Being brought up Heda, escorted by Gustus.”

Lexa nodded thinking everything through, there was no way this was simply just ending after this. Something bigger must be at play she just didn’t know what.

“Call upon the ambassadors, I want them here immediately.” Lexa ordered, Titus bowing before leaving the room. “Clarke come stand by me.”

Clarke obliged walking quickly over to the woman giving her and Anya a questionable look but not even she knew what was going through the brunette’s mind.

“What is it?” Anya asked but Lexa just shook her head,

Slowly the ambassadors filed in and the clan leaders who were in Polis already (the ones Lexa trusted). She watched as they took their seats all confused as to why they were here, but no one said anything.

“Ambassadors of the coalition, there has been an attack on a village near here where some Azgeda citizen were seeking shelter.” Lexa said, her voice filling the whole room. “It has come to my attention Visha, the proprietor of this defector group has been captured.” She nodded for Titus to have her escorted in.

Everyone watched silently as the doors opened and none other than Visha- war chief to Sankru was ushered in her arms and hands bound in chains. Her chocolate brown curls were disheveled around her face and her dark eyes showed no remorse, if anything she seemed smug about the whole thing which intrigued Lexa more than it angered her. Soon she was right in front of Lexa forced to her knees by the guards.

“Visha Kom Sankru you have been accused of conspiracy against The coalition and in the deaths of many Azgeda citizens during an attack today.” Titus belted causing the woman to smirk, “What do you have to say in your defense?”

“I need no defense.” She spat, “For years Sankru has been pushed to the side and that ends here. We will not stand for it anymore, today is judgment day and we will not stop until we get what is rightfully ours. For years we have waited for the all powerful Heda to defeat Queen Nia and restore Sankru to our rightful home, but the moment Nia was defeated all that was considered were Azgeda citizens and I won’t stand for that.”

“Then tell me Visha what is your plan?” Lexa asked curiously, “Because entitlement and secret agendas can only get you so far and I don’t suppose you allowed yourself to be taken for a friendly conversation.” Lexa knew the moment she laid eyes on the woman that she was here by choice. Just from the arrogance in her walk and her smirk, she wanted to be caught and brought here the real question was why.

“You are right commander I am not here for a friendly competition.” She confirmed, “I am here because there are only three way to remove a commander from duty, death, the call of the conclave and a vote of no confidence.”

“So, then you are here to challenge me.”

“Heda you mustn’t entertain this traitor.” Titus seethed but Lexa wasn’t baking down,

“Let her make her make her move.” She said plainly, standing from her throne slowly making her way down to where Visha stood. “If you think me unfit to lead then issue the challenge and let’s get on with it.”

“Fine.” She gritted through her teeth, “You are challenged.”

“And I accept challenge.”

Murmurs and gasps filled the room, but Lexa wasn’t budging, this was their move, the reason she was caught. She wanted to challenge her and remove her from the throne likely to siege power to fuel Sankuru’s plot.

“So be it. Single combat. Warrior against warrior to the death. Chief Visha of Sankru, who do you choose to be your champion?” Titus asks,

“My greatest warrior, Sono kom Sankru.” She said proudly, her head high.

“Heda who will fight for you?” Titus asks and Lexa walks back to her throne, her face hard and her eyes trained on the woman in front of her.

“Ai laik Heda. Non na throu daun gon ai.” She said, her head held high and Visha only smirked because this is what she wanted, and Lexa knew it. **_(I’m the commander, no one fights for me.)_**

“What does that mean?” Clarke whispered to Anya but a part of her already knew, she just couldn’t admit it.

“There will be a fight, to the death.” Anya replied staring straight ahead, of course Lexa had to be stubborn enough not to choose a champion.

“Then it is decreed, by night fall we will have our champion.”

* * *

[My Tumblr💜](http://lexkru.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i never planned to be gone this long i was sort of in a writing rut- hell a life rut but writing always makes me feel better so hopefully i didn't leave this story sitting to long and you guys are still interested! 
> 
> FEEDBACK IS WELCOME AND WANTED!💚💙


	30. Victory stands on the back of Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a hard time dealing with Lexa's fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for mistakes.
> 
> ALSO THERE IS NO ALLIE OR 'FLAME' IN THIS STORY MEANING NO CHIP JUST SO YOU KNOW!!!

It had been thirty minutes since Visha was escorted out of the throne room and Clarke hadn’t said a word. She silently stood on the balcony staring over the city trying to do what she knew she should and that was let Lexa do her job. This was her duty and she really did understand that, but it feels impossible to sit back and watch the person you love constantly walk into dangerous situations when you know there is nothing you can do.

“Is it too late for her to choose someone else?” Clarke asks quietly, seeing Anya walk up beside her.

“No, but she won’t.”

“I figured.” She sighed,

“She has to do this.”

“I know.”

“I know it’s hard Clarke.” Anya said turning towards the blonde, “But Lexa was born for this, she’s done amazing things for all of us and she will continue to do so after she wins this fight.”

“Who’s to say they this will be a fair fight, what if they do something or rig it somehow?”

“Both Lexa and her opponent will be patted down before the fight so it’s highly unlikely that he will be able to do something if that’s what you mean.”

Clarke didn’t reply, instead she just continued to stare out into the city because at the moment that seemed like the only thing she could do.

“The tower is safe?” she asks, 

“Yes, we’ve done a full sweep and all the guards on duty are Lexa’s trusted warriors.”

“ok.” Clarke said before walking out of the room, she could feel Lexa’s eyes on her as she walked by the throne, but she didn’t stop.

In fact, her feet kept moving until she reached Lexa’s room where she stripped from her clothes and got in the shower. The warm water hit her skin and all she could think about was Lexa dying in a fight because of some stupid clan thinks they deserve a piece of land. And to make matter worst as much as Clarke wanted to help or do anything remotely beneficial for her partner she couldn’t. This was Lexa’s duty and no matter how much she wished she could shoulder that burden with her, in the end she will never be able to.

Once the water ran cold, she stood there for a few more minutes until she couldn’t take it anymore and got out. After wrapping herself in a warm towel she made her back into the room where her clothes were stored.

Winter was already in the air; it wasn’t freezing yet but it was coming soon so Clarke reached for pants and a warm sweater she found at the post.

As she was dressing, she heard the door open, she knew it was Lexa since she’s the only one who would just walk in here, but she didn’t say anything.

“The fight will be in a few hours.” Lexa said, her voice easily filling the silent room, but Clarke only nodded as she continued to get dressed. “Are you not going to speak to me?”

“I haven’t figured out what to say.” Clarke admitted turning towards the green-eyed girl.

Before Lexa she was convinced love wasn’t in the cards for her and maybe on the ark it wasn’t but coming earth changed everything. It changed her in some ways for the worst but mostly for the better. She’s stronger and smarter and she found her person who is beautiful and smart and so many other things but also a leader. The person she loves has to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders and no matter what she did there was no real way she could help with that burden.

“You could start by telling me what’s going on in your head.” Lexa said, small smile on her face as she walks closer to the blonde.

“Let me be your champion, let me fight for you.” Clarke replied even though she knew the outcome she had to say it.

“Even if I could do that, I would never allow you to fight for me Clarke and you have a head injury. I know you are an incredible warrior, but I have to do this on my own and you have to let me.”

“But she’s not fighting so why are you?”

“Because Sankru is not the only clan who doubts me, this is my opportunity to prove myself and to prove I am worry of their loyalty. I have to fight for myself, but I need you know if for some reason I don’t win-.”

“No.” Clarke interrupted turning away from the girl, there was no way in hell she was about to hear whatever sendoff message she was about to say.

“Clarke, please just listen.” Lexa said grabbing the girl,

“You don’t get to say some sort of goodbye to me Lexa.” She shouted, “That’s not happening!”

“This isn’t goodbye my love.” The brunette shook her head,

“I’m trying Lexa I really am. I am trying to support your decisions and accept that this your duty, but I won’t talk about your death.”

“Please Clarke- look at me.” Lexa pleaded turning the blonde to face her seeing watery blue eyes in front of her, “I need you to hear this and I need to know I said it, this isn’t goodbye, and I don’t plan dying today, but I need you to know that no matter what happens the next commander will protect you.”

“I don’t want the next commander; I just want you.”

“And you have me forever, no matter what I’ll always be with you and when I win this fight, we will continue our forever...” Lexa smiled pulling the girl into her arms,

“I don’t know if I can watch.” Clarke whispered, their bodies still clinging to each other’s,

“I understand but I really hope you do come.” Lexa said, “I have some time before my training with Anya let’s lay down.”

Neither of them had been to sleep yet since the attack happened late the night before, it was still early in the day but even if they were both tired, they wouldn’t be getting any sleep.

* * *

“Where do you see yourself in ten years?” Clarke asked, it had only been about an hour since they laid down together, but she could feel time slipping away and she couldn’t stand the silence anymore.

“Well, hopefully by then the coalition will be secure and flourishing and we’ll have built a home here in Polis together.” Lexa smiled, running her fingers through blonde hair, “We’ll be bonded and maybe I’ll be ready to call for a conclave and we can be together without the weight of duty in our way.”

“I knew you were trying to turn me into a housewife.” Clarke smiled and Lexa laughed, “What do you mean call for a conclave, I thought that only happened after you were…gone.”

“There are only three ways a commander can be removed from duty, death, a vote of no confidence and simply stepping down. Once a commander’s job has been complete, they are meant to pass the flame down to the next Natblida.”

“The flame?”

“It’s what we call the succession of the commanders, it’s metaphorical really.”

“That’s why Titus is called the Flamekeeper, because he teaches the Natblida’s?”

“Essentially yes,” Lexa nodded,

“So, then the conclave, is it really a fight to the death?” Clarke had heard some of what the fight entails but she made it a point not to know more since she thought it was an event that would only happen once Lexa died, and she refused to think about that.

“It doesn’t have to be but conceding is almost as bad as dying in the fight.” Lexa said, her mind reminding her of the people she killed- people she grew up with.

“But Luna, she’s a Nightblood and I know she trained with you so does that mean she conceded?”

“Yes.” Lexa nodded, “She conceded to me, we were the last two and I’m ashamed to admit that I let Titus get in my head to the point that I almost killed her. We were best friends and I almost did it.”

“But you didn’t.” Clarke said sitting up and turning to the girl, she could see in her eyes that this was something that still bothered her deeply.

“Because she conceded Clarke.” The girl sighed, “If she hadn’t, I would’ve killed her but I’m glad she did. Since then, we have slowly mended our relationship but it’s still something that bothers me, and I imagine it always will.”

“You said conceding is worse than death, but Luna seems to be living perfectly fine.”

“Luna is lucky, her father was the leader of a clan which meant no matter what she would have a clan willing to accept her back and they did. When he died, she became leader, and she is respected for her Nightblood but there are people who see her as a coward.”

“So, if you had conceded Elena would’ve been able to welcome you back to TonDC.”

“Yes, and I’m sure she wished I did.” Lexa smiled slightly, “If she had her way, I’d be one being a housewife right now.”

“As if.” Clarke nudged her with a laugh,

Before either girl could say anything more there was a knock at the door that practically screamed that their time together was over- _for now_.

Clarke tensed up and she knew Lexa could feel it when she felt the brunette pull her closer.

“I have to go.” She whispered but not making any move to get up,

Clarke knew she needed to be the one to make the first move, so she stood up from the bed facing away from the brunette and willing her tears to stay in her eyes. She felt warm hands circling her waist and the brunettes head nuzzling into her neck and she didn’t know how to let her go.

“I love you Clarke.” Lexa said and the way she said it made it sound like the truest thing that’s ever left her lips.

Clarke clamped her eyes shut as she felt warm tears cascading down her cheeks, she felt the hands leave her waist and for a second she was scared that the brunette was gone but she opened her eyes she was there in front of her.

Lexa didn’t say anything, she just wiped the girls tears before pulling her in for a kiss. It was soft and sweet and over way too soon. Clarke kept her eyes closed as she heard footsteps and soon the door open and closing only then did, she allow herself to truly breakdown.

* * *

* * *

When Lexa arrived at the training ground Anya and Indra were waiting as well as some other warriors who she assumed would be her opponents for the session. It wouldn’t be a long training session since the actual fight was in a couple of hours, but it never hurt to warm up.

“Ready?” Anya asks and Lexa nodded.

Her first fight was with her oldest friend and it reminded her of the many times they have fought over the years growing up. Before Anya took her on as a second the woman was still her teacher. Before she left for Polis to begin Natblida training she had Anya’s teachings etched in her brain.

Since she was young Anya was everything she wanted to be so when she turned 12 and Anya asked her to be her second, she was beyond thrilled. That summer lifting rocks as weights and running miles upon miles while balancing jugs were the best days of her life and it all lead to her being the warrior she is today.

“I see you’ve kept up on your training.” Anya smiled, Lexa had disarmed her three times in a row, and she couldn’t have been prouder.

“I had a teacher that told me being a warrior means training never ends.”

“She was right.” The girl smiled picking up her sword, “Indra next, keep your guard up and don’t tire yourself out. Let her make her move first.”

Lexa nodded picking up her sword and preparing for her fight with the other woman, Indra was someone she met once she came to Polis as a young child. The woman was hard and strict, but Lexa respected her to no end. Anything the woman told her to do she did without question, and she was happy to admit Indra was one of her most trusted warriors in her guard.

“Ready yongon?”

“Ready.”

* * *

A long hour later and four warriors down Lexa was sitting on the rocks by the training grounds Anya by her side. She didn’t want to tire herself out, so she decided to call it a quits seeing as the real battle was soon.

“I presume Clarke tried to talk you out of fighting.” Anya said breaking the silence that had consumed them since they had sat down.

“Not particularly.” Lexa said as she stared out into the blue sky, “She did ask me to choose her to take my place.”

“I admit I was ready to ask you the same, wouldn’t be the first time I fought your battles.” Anya said, a snide smirk on her face and Lexa smiled,

“We’ve come a long way from petty childhood brawls.”

“We have. “Anya nodded, “I’m really proud of you Lexa, I know you’re not done but everything you’ve managed to do in the past few years is remarkable and I know your nontu would be proud of you too.”

“Thank you, Anya.” Lexa said firmly, turning her gaze to the older woman, “For everything.”

Anya nodded with a smile, “You’ve told me that the day I asked you to be my second was the best day of your life and I need you to know that it was best day of mine too.”

“Having some kid agree to shadow you all summer was the best day of your life?” Lexa joked but Anya remained sincere.

“No, having my sister who’s strength I’ve always admired agree to have me train her was. We had just lost some really important people to us after Nia destroyed the safe haven and I’m convinced that the only thing that saved me was having Elena take me on as a second. So, knowing that you trusted me enough to do that for you, it means everything.”

“You choosing me meant everything.” Lexa replied, “Thank you for being my teacher, I won’t fail you or anyone.”

“I know you won’t.” Anya smiled, “I’m convinced our Skaikru lovers have made us emotional branwoda’s.”

Lexa laughed, “That may be.”

“I expected Clarke to be here, while you trained.”

“I don’t even think she’ll be at the fight.” Clarke’s face as she was leaving their room will forever be etched in her mind. It broke her heart, but she had to do this, her only hope was that the blonde would be there to support her.

“She said she didn’t know if she could.” Lexa adds,

“She will be there.” Anya said wholeheartedly, “I know Clarke, she loves you and she’ll do what’s right in the end.”

“I hope so.” Lexa whispered, thinking of the blondes muffled cries as she closed the door behind her to go to training.

“Now come, we have a fight to get ready for.”

* * *

* * *

“Get up.” Raven yelled walking into Lexa’s quarters where Clarke was bundled up in furs sulking. The brunette went to the closet pulling out some warm clothes before throwing them on the bed where the blonde still laid. “I said get up Clarke.”

“Leave me alone Raven.”

“No.” she said firmly pulling the fur off of her revealing a red eyed puffy faced Clarke. “You need to get dressed; the fight starts in thirty minutes.”

“I can’t go.” She whispered.

“Yes, you can and will.”

“No Rae-.”

“No Clarke!” she interrupted, “Listen to me loud and clear because you are coming with me to the god damn fight even if I have to drag you down there myself. Lexa is the commander but she’s also still just Lexa and she needs you; she needs your support and love, so you need to get your ass up and get dressed because I refuse to let you sit here and feel sorry for yourself when your girlfriend is risking her life for all of us.”

Clarke stared at her friend wildly as she absorbed the words, she was basically yelled at her. She knew it was true but how could she watch Lexa possibly die- that’s the thing this wasn’t about her or Lexa or their relationship. This was about Lexa’s job and her defending it and she knew she needed to be there by her side no matter how hard it was.

* * *

* * *

The fight was in less than twenty minutes and Lexa hadn’t seen Clarke since she left their room nearly two hours ago. She knew the blonde said she didn’t know if she would come but a part of Lexa was holding out hope that she would. But as time passed, she realized holding out hope was nothing but a childish whim.

She stared at herself in the floor length mirror of the throne room, she still needed her armor but everything else was in place.

“You look good, but it seems you are missing one thing.”

Her body stiffened and she couldn’t help but smile at the voice, she loved that voice and just as she was about to give up there, she was.

“What may that be?” Lexa asks turning about and she couldn’t help but gasp at the blonde’s appearance. Her hair was in simple braids and she dawned a warm coat and leather pants, but the surprising part was her face paint. It was black and resembled the pattern of the tattoo Lexa had on her arm.

The tattoo was her first and it meant the most to her because it was the same one her father had on his arm. It was in memorial of him and Clarke knew that so seeing her honor that meant the world.

“You need yours. “Clarke smiled holding up the black coal she mixed for the woman’s face. “Sit.” She said gently guiding her to a chair before she started to apply her signature mask.

Lexa closed her eyes and allowed the blondes delicate fingers glide over her face creating the design she first started wearing years ago after her ascension.

“All done.” Clarke said as she wiped her hands on some scrap cloth before grabbing the brunette’s armor. It was only a corset style garment, but it was metal, and it protected her stomach, and any sort of protection gave Clarke peace of mind. “You can’t wear more?”

“No.” Lexa stood allowing the blonde to place the garment around her waist, “Technically that wouldn’t be fair.”

“Right.” Clarke whispered as she tied the corset in place.

“I’m glad you came.” Lexa said her eyes finally finding blue ones, behind the paint she could see the redness from crying and she wanted to give the blonde some assurance but before she could Clarke spoke.

“I need you to know that I believe in you, I’ve seen your strength not just as a fighter but as a leader and as a person and I couldn’t prouder that I get to call you my partner Leska kom Trikru. My badass grounder sexy commander girlfriend who I know will come out of this on top.” She smiled pulling the brunette in for a kiss, “I love you so much and I’m with you, every step of the way, good- bad all of it. I swear it.”

“I love you too.” Lexa whispered over her lips before pulling her in for another kiss.

“Lexa.” Anya interrupted walking into the room causing both girls to pull away, “It’s time.”

“Together?” Lexa said holding out her hand for the blonde to take,

“Always.” She replied intertwining her pale hand into Lexa’s tan one and that’s how they remained as they walked out of the tower and onto the makeshift arena.

All eyes were on them but for once neither cared, they deserved this moment, and they were going to take it.

The crowd was large and filled to the brim all preparing to watch their commander either defeat an enemy or die trying.

Clarke looked across the way seeing Visha talking to who she could only assume was Sono- her champion. The man was huge, and scars dawned his face much like the Azgeda soldiers she’s come across. She could tell he was in this to kill- that was the point, but he looked almost eager for it.

“Don’t worry.” Lexa said taking her from her thoughts,

“I’m not.” She replied shaking her head, “I have all the faith in the world that you’ll win.”

Lexa smiled squeezing her hand,

“So, do we.” Anya said joining the pair along with Raven and all the other SkaiKru that Lexa has grown to like over the months.

“I’m excited to see you kick his ass, this whole thing is giving me Ancient Greece vibes.” Raven said getting some looks from the others but also some nods,

“Heda.” Titus interrupted; his face grim. “It is time to begin.”

Lexa nodded before turning back to Clarke, she didn’t what to say or how to walk away.

“I know.” Clarke nodded understanding her plight, “I’ll be right here the whole time and when you win, I’ll still be here.”

Lexa bit her lip before nodding slightly and grabbing her sword from the guard nearby. She gave everyone- but mostly Clarke one last look before walking to the middle of the battlefield where in a short amount of time only one person will walk off of.

* * *

The fight had begun, and Clarke was on edge the whole time watching both Lexa and Sono go back and forth each getting in good hits. She could see black blood oozing not only from Lexa’s wounds but her opponents.

“He’s a Nightblood?” Clarke said to Anya who was standing by her side.

“Seems so, Visha must’ve been hiding him.”

The fight continued and Sono managed to know Lexa’s sword from her hand leaving her defenseless before knocking her to the ground. In that moment Clarke could feel her heart stop seeing the man twirl is staff as he approached the brunette preparing to end the whole thing.

But still even in this moment, even when things seemed bleak Clarke refused to lose hope because Lexa wasn’t allowed to lose. She wasn’t allowed to leave her and as he got closer, she wanted to scream for her to get up and do something, but she just stayed there.

“Come on Lexa.” She whispered to herself watching as the staff went to strike the girl, but she rolled out of the way just in time using her feet to kick the man’s leg causing him to lose his balancing and dropping his staff which Lexa picked up.

The rest of the fight was blur because the only thing Clarke could focus on was Lexa and when the blade at the end of the staff finally punctured its way through the man chest bringing him to his knees all she could feel was relief.

Sono was dead and Lexa was alive, the ground went wild chanting ‘Heda’ and the slight smile on the Lexa’s face said it all. It was a close fight was the commander came out victorious, all that was left was punishing those responsible for all this havoc the past month.

* * *

* * *

Lexa made her way over to Visha who was not thrilled about her champions loss.

“Sentries I want Visha kom Sankru placed in protective custody for the crimes against the coalition and hiding a Nightblood from the Flamekeeper’s. She is not to have visitors and will remain there until her execution.”

“Sha Heda.”

Lexa watched as the woman was escorted away before she turned to her attention to Titus.

“I want the ambassadors in the throne room immediately as well as the clan leaders who are currently in Polis as well.”

Titus only nodded before leaving but Lexa could see the pride on his face which she appreciated. They had their differences, but she did respect the man and, in a way, craved his approval at times- not all the time but at moments.

Finally, after taking care of everything she needed, she turned her attention to who she knew was waiting for her as she said she would be.

As soon as she turned, she could see the overwhelming amount of relief and pride flooding Clarke’s whole being and knowing that she made her partner proud filled her heart with an endless amount of joy.

“Congratulations Heda.” Anya smiled as Lexa joined the group.

“Yeah, that was fucking incredible you guys should do this more often.” Raven said getting a look from Clarke, “Obviously I meant with like the citizens.”

“I’m so proud of you.” Clarke said as she stared into big green eyes, there was no denying the thought of this fight filled her body with fear but seeing her woman reign victorious was more overwhelming than anything.

“Thank you for backing me.”

“I always will.” Clarke smiled grabbing the brunette’s hand as they walked into the tower.

* * *

“I have a meeting to discuss the everything that has happened and what will happen from here, but I want to talk with you first.” Lexa said one they were in her private study and alone.

“Ok.’ Clarke nodded, she had a feeling what Lexa was going to say but she just sat at the empty table and listened.

“Being commander comes with not only a lot of responsibility but also a lot of danger. Not everyone will like what I have to do, and it can end with me making enemies. I know you know that but having you as partner puts you at risk and I know you can handle yourself, but I also want to protect you Clarke. And I can’t do that if you’re refusing to follow my orders. I know you want to protect me too and I love you for it, but this is my job, and I will always be in danger.”

“I know.”

“And in the future if I’m asking you do something like go to a safe, I need you to do it. I can’t have you fighting me on every decision especially in front of my guards. I don’t want to have to use my authority over you so I’m asking you to please not make me.”

This was something Clarke knew they would have to talk about, she knew she was stubborn, but she also knew that there were times that she couldn’t be. She had to let Lexa be commander and she couldn’t do that if Clarke was towing over her every second there is a potential danger out there- which is always.

“I understand and I’m sorry, I need to work on separating Head over heart no matter the situation.” Clarke said staring down at the wooden table, that was easier said than done, especially in a life-or-death situation.

“You’re not the only one.” Lexa smiled grabbing her hands, there have been times since she met Clarke that she allowed her feelings to cloud her judgment. Which she didn’t think was a bad thing, but it could be in certain situations.

“Raven told me my parents are traveling to Polis today to check up on me.” The blonde rolled her eyes, “So I suppose I should prepare myself for that.”

“I will probably be in my meetings for a while, but I’ll try to make it to bed tonight before you go to sleep.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” The brunette smiled giving the blonde a kiss before she left the room.

With a deep breath Lexa made her way into the throne room where everyone seemed to be waiting already- as she asked.

Without a word she took her seat on her throne, her face stoic, and her body a bit sore from the fight, but it was nothing she couldn’t handle.

“Thank you for joining me Clan leaders and ambassadors we have much to discuss.” “First I want to discuss the execution of The Order members as well as Queen Nia of Azgeda. By the end of the week, they we will dead as well as any other conspirators to their cause.” Lexa said looking over the group seeing Kane shift in his seat but she didn’t think much of it.

“Heda.” Mitus, leader of the Delphi clan said as he raised a hand.

“Yes Mitus?”

“What of Sankru, I can’t imagine they will just retreat in their cause to regain Azgeda’s land.”

“I agree with that and I have a solution.” Lexa replied, “Just as there are good people in Azgeda I do believe the same for Sankru and that is why I want to offer them a chance to build on new land. As many of you know there is bare land just east of here that I banned from being built on years ago. The land was once the home to many people but after an attack on Queen Nia is became nothing but a graveyard. What was once Wonkru Safe Haven will soon be Sankuru’s new home, but first the guilty must pay for their actions.”

* * *

* * *

It had been a couple of hours since the fight and Clarke was trying to busy herself by doing some light workouts. She knew training was off the table at least for a few more months but she refused to let her body go after all of her hard work and she needed a distraction.

The past 24 hours had been nothing but a shit show and for most of it she had to worry about the possibility of losing Lexa in the stupid fight. Even now that it was over, and Lexa had once the feeling of dread still lingered. She thought it had gone, but the truth is none of this was over. Visha was captured but that didn’t mean members of The Order weren’t still plotting and they all needed to be ready.

“Clarke, thank god.” Octavia said as she sped walked into the inside gym area where Clarke was currently residing.

“What’s wrong, are my parents here?” Clarke asks standing up to meet the girl’s gaze.

“No not yet, this about Kane.”

“Oh god.” Clarke groaned. “What has he done now?”

* * *

Quickly Clarke made her way to the throne room after hearing everything Octavia had to say. The blonde could feel the rage building in her body as she went over the information and she couldn’t say she was surprised by it, but she didn’t want to think Kane was really this stupid.

Once she arrived, she remembered everything her and Lexa had just discussed, and she knew she couldn’t just barge in even if this was important. So, instead she asked Indra who luckily was guarding the door to get Anya who she knew would be at Lexa’s side.

As she waited, she paced the hall trying to figure out what would happen from here. Since her vivid dream about facing her guilt she had been heavily considering having a discussion with Kane but now it was inevitable because there was no way he would remain chancellor after this. Not if she had anything to do with it.

“Clarke.” Anya said catching the blonde off guard since she hadn’t even heard the door open. “What’s wrong?”

“Octavia overheard a conversation with Kane and someone who was working with Visha. She said the man he was talking to was someone she had seen in Polis before and she could point him out if she saw him again.”

“What were they discussing.”

“She said all she could hear was Kane telling him his deal with The order was off since Lexa won the fight.”

“Are you saying he was working with them?” Anya asks and Clarke wished she could say no, she wished it could be a misunderstanding but they both knew it wasn’t.

“I don't know, but it seems like a possibility."

* * *

[My Tumblr🤍](http://lexkru.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an emotional chapter lol but i hoped you enjoyed. When i first started writing this Kane was never meant to be a 'bad' guy but things change and even now i wouldn't necessarily say he is bad BUT he makes some not good choices and we'll see that in the next chapter.
> 
> Ok, so i am not good at writing fight scene's at all and i am not pleased with the one in this chapter. I re-wrote it a few times but in the end i just had to settle for what is in the chapter. I'm sorry if it's not as detailed or good as you expected i will work on it for future chapters!
> 
> as for future chapters i have something really fun planned but i don't know if i'll do it because it requires tons of fight scenes and as we know i'm not the greatest at that but we'll see......................... 
> 
> FEEDBACK WANTED AND WELCOME🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
> 
> also i 🖤 U for reading!


	31. What goes around, Comes around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Executions are among us as well as some good moments......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took a turn at the end but i'm not mad at it!
> 
> Timeline:  
> (Been about 7-8 months since they landed on earth)  
> 

* * *

* * *

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Lexa asks,

It had been an hour since she told Anya about Kane and Lexa was in between meetings so they filled her in on what they knew. Obviously, she wasn’t happy but even with Octavia’s information Kane having any deal with Sankru was just hear say. They couldn’t prove it and they also couldn’t find the man Octavia saw him with so that led to Clarke’s plan.

“Yes, I’m sure.” She nodded, “The only thing we can do is confront him, plus me and him are overdue for a chat.”

“Even after this accusation I can not allow him to lead a clan in my coalition.” Lexa stated and Clarke knew that, “Even if there is no truth to it, I can’t trust him.”

“I know, and I don’t plan on allowing him to return to Arkadia with the Chancellor pin.”

From the beginning all Clarke has ever told Lexa is how she does not want to be a leader and now it seemed like she would have to step into that roll anyways.

“It doesn’t have to be you.” Lexa said grabbing the blonde’s hand,

“It does.” Clarke sighed, “I allowed Jaha to get away with what he did to me and he ended up killing 23 people, I can’t let Kane make anymore mistakes that lead to Skaikru’s demise.”

“Jaha’s actions are not your fault Clarke and neither are Kane’s.”

“Maybe not but no matter what Arkadia was my home once and I can’t just sit back and do nothing.”

“Some would argue you’ve done enough.” Lexa said, “Without you they wouldn’t be in my coalition or even an ally. After what Jaha did I was sure I would end up in a war with Skaikru but then you came along and changed my mind.”

“With my sexy flirting skills?” Clarke joked,

“That, and your determination.” Lexa smiled, “You were hell bent on taking the mountain down, something my people had only dreamed of, but you didn’t give up. You have become the legendary Wanheda and you have the respect of thousands of people. You’ve given a lot to help your people and I know this isn’t what you want so I can handle it. I can deal with Kane and find a new Skaikru leader and you can stay out of it.”

“I don’t want to be a leader, that will never change but I can’t sit back while you handle it, I need to do this. I owe it to myself and to someone else who deserves some justice.”

Since waking up from her coma Clarke had thought about Josephine on more than one occasion. She thought about how she watched her family be floated for ‘stealing supplies.’ Even when she knew that wasn’t true.

The Ark was good at having secrets and using their privilege to punish people and that’s something Clarke refused to let continue here on the ground.

“If this is what you want to do then I will back you.” Lexa stated and Clarke smiled,

“Thank you.”

“He’s in the meeting room waiting for you, as well as your parents.”

“Ok.” Clarke nodded taking a breath, this was it- this was her moment spill everything that she been holding in, but it was necessary.

“Come.” Lexa held her hand out seeing the blonde’s hesitance, but she understood. Talking about what Jaha did to her wasn’t easy but she would be there to support her through it.

Lexa ordered for Kane to be brought to her study as well as Clarkes parents and her other Skaikru friends who were in Polis. She figured this conversation would be better handled privately rather than announcing to the ambassadors of Kane’s possible betrayal.

When they arrived, everyone was waiting most of them looking confused apart from Octavia and Anya who knew what this was about.

“Commander.” Kane stood from his chair, he seemed nervous- more nervous than usual, maybe he knew where this was going.”

“Sit Kane.” Lexa ordered before pulling out a chair for Clarke who thanked her quietly before sitting.

“Clarke honey is everything ok?” Abby asks, they had only just arrived back in Polis not thirty minutes ago, so she was sure they were alarmed when being asked to come to this meeting.

“That depends.” Clarke said looking around the room, besides her parents and Kane there was also Bellamy, Raven, Octavia, and Anya in the room.

“Clarke?” Raven looked at the blonde intently wondering what was happening since the last time they saw each other Clarke was all smiles after Lexa’s big win- but as we know epic highs come with low, lows.

“There’s something I need to say before I tell you the actual reason we’re here. It’s about my deal with Kane to come to Earth.”

“What is the meaning of this Clarke?” Kane asked,

“Stop talking and I’ll tell you.” Clarke seethed; she was already annoyed with the man- she didn’t need his questions annoying her more. “The last comet party I convinced Bellamy to let me take Octavia with me since there would be masks worn and I wanted her to experience something.” Clarke smiled sadly remembering how much convincing it took Bellamy to let her take the younger girl with her.

Looking over at Octavia she could tell she was thinking the same but the younger girl didn’t know any details about her deal with Kane so all of this would be knew to her.

“When Octavia was caught, I knew I needed to fix it and so I went to you.” She said looking at the man, “I was desperate, so I didn’t care what I had to do to help and you knew that. You had me place papers in Jaha’s room in order for your help and….”

Clarke paused remembering that day in Jaha’s room, the fear she felt, the way his hands groped her body before she could escape. It wasn’t until she felt a warm hand slip into hers that she was brought back. She looked over seeing Lexa’s warm look and it was exactly what she needed.

“While I was there, he came in and he… he tried to rape me before I got away.”

“HE DID WHAT?” Jake yelled standing from the table before turning to Kane, “You knew this? You sent her in there alone with that man?”

“Of course, I didn’t know!” Kane yelled back but Jake was already on his way over to him before Bellamy went to hold him back.

“Dad, I didn’t tell him.” Clarke stood Lexa following,

“No Clarke, he took advantage of you and put you in that situation!” Jake shouted,

“He wasn’t supposed to be in the room!” Kane mumbled mostly too himself, “You….. I asked you if he did anything Clarke- I asked you before you left for mount weather.”

“What would you have done Kane?” Clarke asked honestly wanting answer, “Jaha was already dead and you didn’t even want to execute him for killing 23 people! You expect to believe you would’ve cared that he tried to assault me while I was planting papers for you?”

“Clarke-.”

“NO!” Jake shouted, “Don’t even talk to her,”

“Dad.” Clarke sighed walking over to the man before pulling him and her mother off to the side.

“I’m so sorry Clarke.” Abby finally said, tears brimming her eyes, “I- we should’ve asked you what your deal was with Kane we should’ve helped or-.”

“No mom.” Clarke sighed, thinking now she knew she should’ve done this in private, but it was too late now. “You guys did help me I just- I want to talk about this but there is more to the story and I just need you both to listen. No interruption, no beating Kane’s ass.” She smiled nudging her father. “Jaha is gone, he paid for what he did and I’m ok. Having you guys and Raven got me through it I just need you both to listen.”

Abby sighed grabbing Jake’s hand who was still fuming but calmed at his daughter’s words. He wasn’t done with Kane, but he would respect Clarkes wishes for now.

Once they all returned to their seats Clarke continued.

“I’m bringing this up now because it’s relevant to you and how you chose to lead once, I gave you the power to become Chancellor.” Clarke said to Kane who just stared back, “I planted those papers and I believed you would be a better leader than Jaha.”

“I am a better leader than Jaha!” He retorted,

“The bar for that’s pretty low.” Raven snubbed,

“So, you were being a better leader than Jaha when you had me plant records about radiation experiments in his room?” Clarke asked and she could see Kane’s face pale.

“I-.”

“The real question is who made the Lightbourne’s do the experiments in the first place.” Clarke interrupted, “Josie told me everything before she was floated and it wasn’t until now that I put the pieces together, so who was it?”

“Jaha was the one threatening the Lightbourne’s not me.” Kane admitted,

“No, you just covered it up and floated them and used that knowledge when it suit you!”

“It suited you too if I recall.” Kane snubbed back,

“I didn’t know what was in it but you’re right and I’ll never make that mistake again. Everyone in Arkadia is going to know the truth about Josie’s family and about you and Jaha everything. Everything the council has ever tried to hide or cover up they’ll know that too.” Clarke said,

“I’m sure I can add a few atrocities to that list.” Abby said looking at her daughter, “I was on the council and we never knew anything about the Lightbourne’s, but we know plenty of other things that people deserve to know.”

“So, this is why we’re here because you want to reveal all the Ark’s secrets?” Kane asked, his face irate.

“No.” Lexa spoke up, her voice firm. “We’re her because a conversation was overheard between you and a member of Sankru about a deal you made with them.”

“I don’t-.”

“Don’t lie, we know everything.” Clarke lied, they knew basically nothing, but he doesn’t have to know that. “What you did could’ve gotten us all killed! People are being executed for being apart of The Order and you thought making a deal with them would be wise?”

“No- I didn’t-- I mean the leader came to me first!” Kane sighed, “She said her champion would win and if I wanted Skaikru to live once they took over Polis then I would join them. The guy the commander was picked to fight looked promising and I couldn’t risk our people’s future like that! But when it was over, I told them to there was no deal I swear.”

“How honorable of you.” Lexa mocked,

“You’re such an idiot.” Bellamy sighed exhaustedly in his seat,

“What would you have done?” Kane yelled, “They were practically threatening me.”

“I would’ve went to the commander and told her because we’re apart of her god damn alliance!” Bellamy barked back,

“Do you even realize what you could’ve done?” Clarke asked, “You put everyone in that camp at risk with one decision.”

“It was a mistake.” He sighed,

“Well, Skaikru can longer endure anymore mistakes.” Clarke stated seeing the man eyes flick to her, “From here on out you are no longer the Chancellor.”

“You can’t just remove me Clarke that is not how politics work.” He scoffed,

“You’re right she can’t.” Lexa spoke, “But I can, the day you took the mark of my coalition Skaikru became my people which means I can appoint and remove any leader I see fit. If you remain Chancellor, I’m afraid Skaikru will go down a path they cannot come back from and next time I won’t be so lenient.”

“So, then what? I’m to be executed as well?”

“We will discuss your fate but for now you will remain a prisoner here in Polis while Arkadia appoints new leadership.”

“And let me guess who that will be.” Kane snarked, his eyes trained on Clarke who rolled her eyes.

“If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times Kane, I am not a leader, but I refuse to let you or anyone else ruin our second chance here on the ground. So yes, I will return to Arkadia but not as Chancellor, I’m going to do what you and Jaha- and the council could never do, and you won’t be there to see it.”

With that Clarke stood from the table and left the room hearing some shuffling behind her. She knew there would be a million questions but right now all she wanted was a warm bath and a good night’s rest with her girlfriend by her side.

By the time she made it back to Lexa’s room she was sure she would have a million people walking in after her but the only person who came in was Lexa to her surprise.

“I informed everyone you needed some space.” she said causing Clarke to smile, “I figured after all of that you would appreciate some time alone.”

“My parents probably have a million questions.” Clarke sighed sinking into the bed,

“They said you would talk later; they just want to know you’re ok and I assured them you would be.” Lexa said before joining her,

“Don’t you have meetings?”

“I’ve sent for Silas- Sankru’s Clan leader as well as a representative for Azgeda that Echo recommended so all I can really do is wait and I’d rather do that here with you.”

“Will things ever just be chill and perfect for once?” Clarke groaned snuggling herself in the brunette’s shoulder,

“One day my love, I promise.”

Clarke smiled at the brunette’s words, she knew Lexa’s vision and how hard she’s been trying to achieve a long-lasting peace and to think her people at the hands of Kane could’ve had a part in ruining that made her sick. She would never allow anyone to ruin Lexa’s dream not even her own people, whoever she had to fight she would do it if it meant Lexa having everything she wanted.

The blonde placed a peck on the girls’ lips before wondering off towards the bathroom,

“Where are you going?” Lexa asked sitting up,

“To run us a bath, as I recall you were just in a fight and you should relax.” Clarke smiled before disappearing into the bathroom.

She started the water in the huge clawfoot tub before walking over to Lexa’s oils, most of them were floral- Lexa’s favorite. She added lavender for relaxation and something that smelled like the wild berries she loved in the forest near TonDC, for scent. She knew Elena made oils similar to this from the herbs in her garden but she would have to find out where they sell them here in Polis so she can get Lexa more.

Once the tub was full, she added some dried flower pedals which really set the mood she was attempting to create.

“Very romantic.” Lexa grinned walking into the bathroom being greeted by her favorite scents and her lovely girlfriend.

“That was the goal.” Clarke winked before going to take off Lexa’s shirt, and then her pants until there was nothing left but an impeccable view.

“Just going to stare?” Lexa smirked, causing Clarke to roll her eyes before reaching for her own clothes.

“Get in.”

Lexa stepped into the steamy water moaning at the warmth before sitting, feeling wet hands circle her waist.

“This is nice.” Lexa sighed into the blonde’s arms as they laid in the large tub, “Thank you ai hodnes.”

“You don’t have to thank me babe.” Clarke replied as she lazily ran her wet finger down the brunette’s breasts, “That is what you do for your partner after they’ve had a long day.” She smiled seeing Lexa smile, “You help them relax, so sit back and relax.”

“Those words sound familiar.” Lexa teased, as Clarkes hands roamed her body freely.

“Yeah, well I had a lover that said them to me once.” Clarke whispered before peppering kisses down Lexa’s neck.

“Mhm, well I do hope she did indeed help you relax.”

“She did and I go could go on and on telling you how or I could show you if you think you could be into that.”

“I think I could be into that.” Lexa giggled, leaning back pulling the girl into a searing kiss.

Lexa moaned in the blondes mouth as felt fingers forming lazy circles around her clit forcing her legs to open wider as she pressed her back into Clarke’s front.

In the last 24 hours they have been interrupted during a very heated moment, endured an emotion stressor on their relationship, won a battle to hopefully end a war, overthrown a branwoda Chancellor and somehow managed to make it out on top. Both would agree they deserved some alone time- time to make each other feel amazing and carefree even if just for an hour or two. They would cherish every moment of it.

* * *

Later that night as they laid in bed tangled in each other’s arms Lexa couldn’t help but smile at how strange her life was. A year ago, she never imagined she’d ever be happy again and now the word happy wasn’t enough to epitomize what she currently felt. If all went to plan, she would be one step closer to getting her coalition to the spot she’s always craved and finally there would be an everlasting peace- _hopefully._

And she also had the perfect partner by her side who was more than willing to help fuel her dreams and more than anything she wanted to give Clarke everything in the world- the sky the moon all of it. She wanted Clarke to be happy with her- with their life she just hoped she could give her that without fail.

“In ten years, where do you see yourself?” Lexa asks, causing the blonde to stir before turning to face her. Lexa could tell she was tired and almost felt bad for disrupting her until she saw her smile.

“I see myself still bounty hunting since the life of a badass never ends, but I also see myself being wherever you are whether it’s Polis or TonDC it doesn’t matter. We’ll be bonded because you can’t get enough of me and I you.” She smiled, “We’ll have a home where I’ll be waiting for you at the end of the day like the perfect housewife I am and maybe we’ll have a little goufa of our own. You’ll be the mom they run to when they’re in trouble because we both know you’re a softy and I’ll be the cool mom that all their friends fear but secretly love. We’ll be happy and you’ll have accomplished everything you wanted. Everyone will be overjoyed and at peace. Raven will build more tablets and to assure everyone gets to experience a movie because it’s only fair. We’ll have festivals and dances even when there’s nothing to celebrate. Life will be good, and we won’t have to fight any more for survival, all we’ll have to do is live.”

“I like the sound of all of it.” Lexa smiled contently, pulling the blonde into her arms. “Do you think it’s possible?”

“I know it is.” Clarke said against her chest, “Anya told me you were born for this and in that moment, I didn’t understand but I do now. You’re the only person who can do it and you will.”

“We will together.”

“I’ll be by your side always, but you are the visionary and I meant what I said today. I am so proud and honored I get to call to call you my partner and one day my houmon.”

“And I you, my love.”

* * *

* * *

**_A few days later……_ **

Sankru’s leader was escorted into the tower a couple days after Lexa’s fight with Sono. Silas- said leader seemed confused by all the latest developments but no one was buying it, specifically Lexa. She had already confirmed he recruited Visha for the cause thanks to Alec- the spy who decided to talk. With his help Lexa was able to arrest several more Order members who had been in Polis posing as regular citizens.

With that out of the way an execution date was set, the traitors would die, and they would be used as a message. Anyone who went against the coalition would suffer the same fate and she hoped it would be the thing that would stop and further uprisings.

There was also Azgeda that needed dealt with and Lexa was happy to report with Roans help as well as the representative Echo suggested named Kol- that they would be coming to terms much easier than she initially thought. Apparently with Nia captured Azgeda citizens had been praying Lexa would show them mercy and aid them. Most were not fans of Nia’s tyrant behavior and celebrated her demise and were looking forward to her execution as well as so many others.

Once the executions were over the main focus would be gaining control over Sankru and Azgeda by appointing new leaders. Roan wanted to part of running his clan and Lexa was not prepared to make him, but he did agree to help until they did find someone. As for Sankru Lexa couldn’t trust anyone from there which meant she would have to send someone she trusts to hold things together for the time being.

All that being said, things were finally looking up…

* * *

Executions were set for noon and Lexa had called for a feast to be prepared, it wasn’t a festival per say like the one for mount weather just a dinner with the intended purpose of ‘celebrating’ the end of a centuries old feud.

“How does this work?” Clarke asked as she buckled Lexa’s pauldron onto her shoulder. “Is it like Jaha’s where they suffer a bunch of cuts and then you kill them with your sword?”

“No exactly.” Lexa replied turning towards the blonde, “If it were a small group of natrona’s then we would make a show of it, cuts and a finishing ceremony from my sword. But we have over thirty Order members as well as Azgeda warriors from defeating Nia and it would just be too much. So instead, they will die privately and Nia, Silas and Visha will suffer their cuts before I kill them with my sword. The body’s will be burned together, and it will be finished.”

“Then how will the other’s die?” Clarke asks but Lexa’s face said it all,

“You don’t want to know; just know they will suffer.” She replied somberly before reaching for her sword.

“Right.” Clarke mumbled, “We still haven’t talked about Kane.”

“That is because every time I ask you what you think should happen to him you grow quiet.” Lexa replied, seeing the blonde deep in thought.

“Because you’re Heda and it’s your choice.”

“I’m not looking for you to give me an answer I am simply just seeking your opinion.”

Clarke’s views on Kane were simple, he was stupid and weak and could never make the tough choices it takes to lead. He made idiotic choices and never thought of the bigger picture apart from his plan to get to earth and he like most Arker officials could be power hungry. All of that being said did he really deserve to die?

“I truly don’t know.” She sighed, “He’s a dumbass but I don’t think he deserves to die but I also think he needs to be punished.”

“I agree.” Lexa nodded, killing Kane would be easy but that wasn’t her way. She didn’t kill because it would be easy, she killed for purpose and for punishment, but death was not the only punishment she offered. “There were a small group of Sankru that gave me information in order to avoid death. Their punishment will be labor and imprisonment, they will never truly be free, but they’ll be alive.”

“Is that what your suggesting for Kane?”

“Even though Kane has admitted his faults we still have yet to find the man he was speaking with and that creates a grey area. He can serve ten years as my prisoner here in Polis, he won’t have any freedoms and he’ll have to do labor like the others. At the end of his sentence me and whomever will be running Arkadia can discuss his fate. How does that sound?”

“Fair.” Clarke nodded, what he did was an act against Lexa and her coalition, and he was lucky he wasn’t dying so some labor and nasty prison food should be the least of his concerns.

“Very well, now we should go.” Lexa looked on the mirror once more just to make sure she looked perfect. Her face paint was applied to perfection thanks to a certain blonde, her head piece was in place in the middle of her forehead and her pauldron was secured on her shoulder.

“You look good Heda.” Clarke smiled behind her,

“As do you Wanheda.” Lexa said looking over the blonde, she was dressed in a fur jacket- most likely some sort of bear and tight leather pants that suited her perfectly. She allowed Lexa to do her hair in intricate braids as well as her head piece- she was sure Clarke didn’t know the severity of that in their culture and a part of her didn’t want to explain it, so she didn’t.

They made their way out to the courtyard where the citizen of Polis awaited the executions of Nia, Visha and Silas. The bodies of their loyal followers already decorated a pilar where soon their bodies will join them. In the years of Lexa’s reign this is the largest execution she has held. There were some defectors that she had to kill during the early stages of building her coalition, but this was her first uprising. Azgeda was a constant issue but they weren’t in her coalition- Sankru was and they decided to bite the hand that feeds them all for this outcome.

The crowd cheered loudly as Lexa walked stoically towards the throne that was placed mere feet away from where the executions would be. She waved briefly before taking her seat, she loved all of her people but the energy in Polis was different. It made her feel alive as if she was about to walk into battle and when they chanted her name her whole body filled with pride because it meant she was doing something right.

“Heda.” Titus bowed before turning his attention to Clarke who was standing by her throne. “Wanheda I can escort you to a seat nearby.”

“Ok.” Clarke nodded prepared to walk off with the man before a hand stopped her,

“Clarke will stay here with me.” Lexa ordered not even giving the man a glance,

“Lexa it’s fine.” Clarke murmured seeing the look on Titus’s face, the last thing she wanted to do was cause problems and she had no problem standing with Raven and the others.

“Heda please.” Titus said, his eyes boring into the brunette’s soul but she didn’t budge.

“Wanheda is to stand here with me.” She repeated this time standing from her throne and giving Titus a look telling him not to push her, “Have the prisoners escorted out I’m ready to start.”

“Sha Heda.” The man grumbled his jaw tight, but Lexa ignored it before returning to her seat.

“I was fine having to standing elsewhere just so you know.” Clarke said from her spot beside her.

“One day there will be a chair here for you.” Lexa said quietly, her eyes trained ahead and a slight smile on her lips. “Until then you will stand by my side.”

“Even if people don’t want that?” Clarke asked quietly watching a seal of emotions wash over Lexa’s face before it settled,

“I told you long ago It does not matter what they think.”

Before Clarke could reply Anya, who was decked out in full armor joined them taking her place on the other side of Lexa. She was excited to hear that Anya had accepted the role of Lexa’s second- not only was she happy for her friend but it made her feel at ease knowing someone who truly cared for Lexa would be by her side always.

The older blonde stared at her quizzically and Clarke already knew what she was thinking- guessing it was probably something about being by Lexa’s side but this time it was Lexa who requested it not her stubbornness.

“She asked me to stay so don’t look at me like that.” Clarke grumbled to the girl,

“It’s not that.” Anya said still looking her strangely before her attention was snatched away by the prisoners being brought out.

The courtyard grew quiet as Nia, Visha and Silas were brought out by guards and tied to their own posts.

Clarke hadn’t seen Nia since the night she was captured almost three months ago but her appearance was scarily different. She was frail and pallid as if she hadn’t eaten in weeks and her perfect ash colored hair was now stringy and thin. Her cold eyes that initially had the potential to scare the hell out of anyone with just one glare were now filled with nothingness. If Clarke didn’t know any better, she would say the woman was welcoming of death.

The two Sankru natrona’s on the other hand looked nothing short of pissed. Anger decorated their faces like it was only emotion they knew but soon they would be well acquainted with fear and anguish as well.

Clarke watched as Lexa stood from her throne holding up her hand to signal for silence which she got seconds later.

“People of Polis today we gather to punish those who decided their personal agenda was more important than the future for all of us. They had only their clans in mind when they decided to act against me and now, they will pay with their lives. As your commander my vision is for us all to prosper and thrive. For our children to live in a world where war isn’t all they know. I want everyone on my lands to be happy and to lead fulfilling lives and I promise you, one day you will. But first we must punish those who would see that those things never come to fruition. Even with their betrayal I do don’t plan to punish the citizens of Sankru or Azgeda by turning my backs on them. My vision is for us all- all of the clans and they too will thrive, their former leaders just won’t be here to see it. They will die here today knowing that their people will live on and prosper without them but first they suffer.”

Lexa nodded for her warriors to begin; each person would suffer 100 cuts before Lexa would end their lives.

It wasn’t long before the screams filled the courtyard, but no one budged besides a few Skaikru who weren’t used to this sort of thing even after mount weather and Jaha.

By the fiftieth cut Clarke watched as Roan made his way up to his mother. She had no clue he would be a part of this, but she was surprised. Until this moment the man had refused to see his mother even at her request. Nia wasn’t allowed visitors, but Lexa was willing to let the man see her, but he never wanted to. No one blamed him for it either.

“Son.” Nia croaked upon seeing the man standing in front of her. She was losing a lot of blood already, her frail body slumped against the post- it being the only thing holding her up.

“You don’t have a son.” He seethed clutching a small dagger in his hands,

“You’re right.” She coughed, “You’ve always been a disgrace to Azgeda, you always will be.”

“For Klara.” He said firmly before sliding his dagger down her scarred face until he reached her jawline. Her scream was low and exhausted but when he was done, he walked away not even taking a second look.

By the time the last warrior had made his cuts Nia was barely holding on but Visha and Silas were lucid and still fighting their fate.

Lexa stood from her throne making her way over to them going to Silas first.

“You’re mission was to see Nia punished and killed but I will not give either of you the satisfaction of seeing her die.” Lexa said to them both causing Visha to flail and fight her restraints, but Lexa ignored it.

Instead, she pulled out her sword sliding it first into Silas’s heart watching as his last breathe catches as she pulled her sword from his chest.

“Sankru will Thrive on new lands that I can promise you, it’s a shame you won’t be there for it.” Lexa said to the woman before ending her life as well.

With both of them gone all that was left was Nia, the woman she’s been waiting to kill since her ascension. The woman who took her nontu for nothing but mere jealousy. She took away years of memories and happiness all because she herself was miserable.

When she finally stood in front of the woman, she imagined she would feel nothing but anger, but she didn’t. For years she imagined this moment and how good it would feel to finally end Nia’s reign and it did feel good, but it also felt like the end of something. It felt like once this was over, she could let that anger and resentment die. She could do that knowing her nontu’s killer didn’t go unpunished.

“After all these years you finally get your revenge.” Nia mumbled to the girl,

Lexa looked at the woman before her eyes were drawn to the crowd and landed on her nomon. She knew the woman would come as most Clan leaders had but seeing her only made this moment more real. If her nomon taught her anything it was that revenge was a petty waste.

She taught her that revenge only allowed people to hold onto their grief much longer than they needed to and she didn’t want that for either of them. But this was different, Nia had hurt many others besides her family so to her this wasn’t revenge at all.

“This isn’t vengeance.” Lexa finally said turning her attention back to the dying woman, “It’s justice.” She grabbed her dagger from the sheath attached to her pants before holding up Nia’s head and slicing her throat deeply before letting her head fall. This wasn’t revenge but she figured the woman could at least suffer the same fate that was inflicted on her nontu.

* * *

Everyone watched as Lexa used the torch to set all of the bodies aflame leaving them to turn to ash. Many people started towards the feast Lexa ordered to be prepared but Lexa stayed put watching the flames.

“Yongon.” Elena said joining her daughter whose eyes were focused a head, “How is it now?” she asked knowing the girl would understand.

“It’s gone.” Lexa said quietly, “The anger was gone before I even killed her.”

“You let it go.”

Lexa nodded before turning to her mother,

“I will never be able to tell you enough how proud I am of you Leska, and he would be too.” The older woman said with a faint smile on her face, “The moment we found out you were a Nightblood he declared you would be the one to bring us peace. He believed in you, hold onto that yongon.”

“I will.” She nodded,

“Come we have a dinner to get to.” Elena smiled urging her daughter forward where Clarke was waiting for her.

“Elena.” She smiled giving the woman a hug, “How are my young warriors in TonDC?”

“Training hard to impress Wanheda of course.” She smiled, examining the blonde and noticing the metal piece on her head giving Lexa a look. “They miss you.”

“I will visit soon.” Clarke smiled before making her way to Lexa’s side giving her a look, but Lexa gave her one signally she was ok.

“Look at you two.” Elena grinned, “You’ve both come a long way from trying to avoid your feelings for each other. Now you’re basically bonded.”

“Nomon.” Lexa glared but her mother only smiled and shrugged,

“I’ll meet you two inside, are you parents here in Polis Clarke?”

“Yes, they should be in the tower.”

“I must find them then.” She smile before walking off,

“What did she mean?” Clarke asked as her and Lexa walked slowing to the tower. “That we’re practically bonded.”

“Just that we’re close I suppose.” Lexa shrugged; she knew what her nomon meant but there no need in bringing it up. “I hope you’re hungry I had the kitchen prepare many dishes tonight.”

Clarke only nodded and smiled as they walked, she felt like there was something Lexa wasn’t saying but she would just ask her later.

Citizens were feasting outside as well as in their homes, but Lexa had set up a private diner for those close to her in the tower. It wasn’t a large group just her trusted guards, some SkaiKru whom she’d grown to like, the ambassadors were asked to join as well as the clan leaders.

“I must go speak with the leaders before Titus starts breathing down my back.”

“It’s ok.” Clarke laughed, “Go, I’ll keep myself busy.”

“Ok.” Lexa nodded giving her hand a squeeze before making her rounds around the room.

Clarke looked around spotting Raven by the table, so she decided to join her.

“Hey.”

“Hey Wanheda.” Raven smirked as the blonde flipped her off, “Quite the show out there.”

“It was definitely something.” Clarke replied, “Do you think we’ll ever get used to all this stuff?”

“Probably not as used to it as Anya or Lexa because this is how they grew up but yeah.”

“You know I need to thank you for making me go to the fight, I would’ve regretted it forever if I didn’t.”

“I know.” Raven smiled wrapping her arm around her waist, “But if you ever make me be the responsible one again, we’ll be the one’s fighting to the death.”

“And you’ll lose.” Clarke smirked leaning into her, neither noticing the looks they were getting from onlookers.

“Clarke, Raven.” Anya murmured joining the pair, her face serious.

“Anya.” Clarke said, “What?”

“I know you two are used to being touchy feely and affectionate but it’s giving people the wrong idea.”

For the first time Clarke took a second to look around seeing indeed people were giving her a strange look.

“What idea would we be giving them?” Raven asked confused,

“That your my side piece.” Clarke smirked removing her hand from the girl’s waist,

“That’s ridiculous.” Raven rolled her eyes, “And maybe you’re my woman on the side.”

“As if.”

“That hardly matters.” Anya interrupted, “You just need to be more aware; they know you and the commander are together and now you wear her mark they know it is serious.”

“Her mark?” Clarke asked now being the one who was confused, “What are you talking about?”

“The head piece.” Anya said pointing to the small metal gear Lexa placed on her forehead before the executions. “She didn’t explain?”

“I- what is there to explain?” Clarke asked, when Lexa placed the small metal piece on her head, she assumed it was just a sign of loyalty or even because of her being Wanheda but now Anya was making it seem like it was more, and she was confused. “Anya?”

“Perhaps Lexa should explain just know that is a very serious act and not something all commanders do.”

“That’s ominous.” Raven mumbled,

“It’s not bad.” Anya sighed seeing a wave of emotions flood the blonde’s face, “Just allow her to explain.”

“Fine.” Clarke finally said, now that she thought about it, she had been getting looks from people all day. First Titus who looked angry but that was nothing new then Anya and Elena and even some citizens.

Clarke stood quietly as everyone around her talked and finally Lexa called for dinner to begin. The table filled quickly, and Clarke was unsure of her place at it until her eyes connected to Lexa’s who nodded to an empty chair by her side.

She could see Titus seething from his spot a few chairs down and she wondered why the man hated her so much. She couldn’t think of anything specific that she did so she could only assume it was because Lexa was dating and maybe he saw that as a distraction. Maybe she would ask Lexa about it as well as the head piece.

She took her seat side Lexa as the food was brought out to the large table, as Lexa said there was a lot of it, and she had no clue where to start.

“This is much like the spicy cheese you like.” Lexa said pointing to a whiteish block, “It is good especially with boar.” The brunette gathered a slab of the meat and a small piece of cheese before placing it on the blonde’s plate.

Clarke liked trying new things especially foods, so she picked it up taking a bit before moaning lowly at the taste. It was only when she looked up that she realized she had an audience.

“It’s really good.” She said getting a few smiles before others started suggested dishes and combinations for her to taste as well.

Five minutes in and she had tried more combinations of foods than she has in her whole life, but she wasn’t complaining. It was nice interacting with people from earth and this was the first time in Polis that she really had. Luna was also sitting nearby so it was nice to catch up her as well.

“My houmon was in the mountain and thanks to you she is back in my arms.” One woman said, a gracious look in her eyes that made Clarke smile. “Thank you Wanheda.”

“Without Heda I couldn’t have done it.” Clarke said feeling the brunettes hand squeeze her leg under the table. “I’m glad you have you wife back, what’s her name?”

“Arabelle.” The woman blushed, “She is home with our yongons right now.”

“That’s a beautiful name, how old are your kids?” 

* * *

Dinner was nice and Lexa was enjoying watching her people talking with not only the other Skaikru members but also with Clarke as well. Everyone seemed to love the blonde even the one’s who feared her. Being Wanheda comes with its plights but for the first-time people were seeing the gentle side of Clarke- the side she gets to see and that made her happy.

It was only in moments like these that Lexa let her mask slip even if just for a moment. At dinner there was no use in being the hard expressionless commander, she could talk and smile with her people without some looming threat over her head.

“Wanheda will you be staying in Polis permanently?” One of the ambassadors asked the blonde who looked to Lexa before looking back to the woman.

“I love Polis a lot but soon I will have to return to Arkadia, but I’ll find my way back here soon enough.” She smiled,

“Hopefully for good.” One woman smiled,

“Yes, we wouldn’t want Heda getting lonely with her future houmon away.” Luna snickered who was across from the blonde, and Lexa could see Titus practically fuming at his seat.

Luckily, dinner was ending soon and her and Clarke could escape up to their room.

Unlucky, for Lexa people seemed to not be able to get enough of the blonde so their quick escape turned into Lexa waiting patiently for Clarke to finish up her conversation with a few clan leaders.

“Heda.”

Lexa looked up seeing Titus walking her way and she fought hard not to roll her eyes because she knew what was coming.

“Yes, Titus?” she said as calmly as she could muster,

“Why is Wanheda wearing your mark?” he asks, a hint of disgust in his voice.

“Because I put it on her.” Lexa said in a tone that insinuated that it was obvious, “And if I were you, I would choose your next words carefully.”

“Do you know what you’ve done Lexa?” he asks, “Giving someone your mark is not something to take lightly.”

“If you came over here to tell me things, I already know then we are done here.”

“I fear your infatuation with this sky person is not healthy for you heda, right now you need to be focused-.”

“I am very focused.” Lexa interrupted, “Do you not see me fit to lead?”

“Of course, Heda.” He said quickly,

“Then there is nothing to be worried about.” Lexa replied before walking towards Clarke who had just finished up her conversation and Lexa jumped in before she could start a new one. “Ready to go?”

“Yes.” Clarke smiled grabbing onto the brunette’s arm as they started their journey to their private room.

“You are quite popular tonight Wanheda.” Lexa smiled as they stepped onto the lift,

“It seems I am, which is weird because none of these people have ever talked to me before besides Luna.”

“Maybe this was their first opportunity to.” Lexa suggested,

“Maybe.” Clarke nodded as they stepped off the lift and walked to their room, “Or maybe it has something to do with you marking me or something.”

“What?” Lexa looked over at her shocked, had she known what the head piece meant this whole time?

“The head piece.” Clarke said staring at the shocked girl in front of her, “Truthfully I don’t know what it means but Anya told me it means something, and you should explain. If you marked me does this mean I’m like your property or something now?”

“What? Absolutely not Clarke.” Lexa assured, “I didn’t mark you I just gave you my mark. Every commander gets to create their own head piece, and this is mine, it is supposed to be something important to you and my nontu used to have this gear tattooed on his back, so I chose this.”

“So, then what does it mean that you gave it to me?”

“Commander’s are not known to bond with anyone, but it has been done in the past. It’s not frowned upon, but most commanders feel it is a distraction, so they stray from love. The one’s who do find love will give their mark to their lover as a sign of their commitment. When they wear it, it shows love and loyalty but also awareness that they are together. It is also a message that they are to be respected and treated just as the commander is.”

“Why didn’t you explain that to me?” Clarke asked watching the brunette sit on the bed,

“Truthfully, I was afraid you would not want to wear it, but I should’ve asked. I am sorry if you are upset.”

Clarke walked over to her falling down to her knees and grabbing the brunette’s hand before replying,

“I’m not upset.” She smiled, “I would happily wear a sign on my forehead reading ‘I’m Lexa’s girlfriend.’ If you asked. I just wanted to know that it meant, I heard someone say it was an honor.”

“It is.” Lexa nodded, “I am basically claiming you as my equal and that is not something all commanders do.”

“Why were you afraid I wouldn’t wear it If I knew?”

“I suppose because it is a very serious gesture.”

“Well, Lexa I’m very serious about you.” Clarke replied, “I do have a question.”

“Ok.”

“Did- I mean it’s ok if you did but did you also give Costia your mark?” she asked hesitantly but Lexa’s face didn’t change,

“No.” she said simply,

“Really?”

“I loved Costia very much, but I think a part knew that I wouldn’t love her forever. I never imagined giving her my mark but when it came to you it was only a matter of when. When our people bond it’s for life and it isn’t taken lightly.”

Clarke couldn’t help but smile at the fact that Lexa never gave Costia the head piece and she felt shitty for it but also relieved.

“This what your mom meant earlier?”

“Yes.” Lexa nodded, “And because you wear you wear my necklace and I your watch. Exchanging sentimental items is a big part of a bonding ceremony but I’ve explained to her that for us at this moment it is merely a promise to each other.”

“Well, it does seem we are practically bonded.” Clarke smiled taking a seat in Lexa’s lap,

“Not yet my love.” Lexa said giving her cheek a peck,

“I’d marry you right now If you asked.” Clarke said honestly taking Lexa by surprise.

“You would?”

“I already know you’re it for me, we’re both young but that doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things.”

“You’re serious?” Lexa asked with wide eyes, they had talked about being bonded but it was always in the future never now.

“I love you Lexa, you’re the reason I know what love feels like and I can’t imagine my life without feeling that forever so yes I would.” The blonde replied her voice serious but her love clear.

“So then bond with me.” Lexa beamed, “When all of this is over, and the coalition is complete, and you’ve finished your duties in Arkadia. When we’ve achieved a peace throughout all the lands and there is nothing more to worry about, bond with me.”

“Ok.” Clarke murmured against the brunette’s lips, tears tinging her eyes,

“Ok?” Lexa smiled widely not sure if she heard the blonde right, 

“Yes.” Clarke nodded her head, “Of course, a thousand times yes.”

“Yes.” Lexa said to herself once more just to make sure this was real, but she knew solely by the look on the blonde face that it was. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Clarke whispered before pressing their lips together,

Outside of this room they had a million things to think about and in days’ time Clarke would be leaving for Arkadia alone but right now none of that mattered. Right now, they were engaged and in love two things neither of them thought possibly for themselves. So, instead of the million other things they could focus on- tonight they would only be focusing on each other.

* * *

[My Tumblr🖤](http://lexkru.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So..... Clexa is engaged? Yes Clarke will be in Arkadia next chapter but don't worry it won't be for long i promise! Also with March 3rd upon us i wanted to post something special but i have absolutely no clue what. Maybe i'll just update a few of my stories that day idk! This ship kind of changed my life- that sounds super dramatic but i know you guys will get it. Especially reading and writing Fanfiction so i'm grateful for it immensely! 
> 
> I just read the Clexaweek themes so if you're interested in me doing one of those just let me know and i'll try! 🤍
> 
> FEEDBACK IS WANTED AND WELCOME HERE! 🤍
> 
> love u 4 reading 
> 
> (This is me hours after uploading for some reason this story isn’t coming up in the Clarke Griffin/Lexa tag in the right place and that’s annoying me. This happens to me often and it’s really aggravating but I hope people are still seeing it! Anyways love you guys for reading🖤)


	32. Arkadia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: the way the weather works in Azgeda and Sankru is my interpretation not saying that lines up with the show just how i'm writing it here!! As well as the placement of the clans, i used a fan made map for reference but switched up the places.
> 
> sorry for mistakes i want to get this up but i will go through and edit!!!

* * *

* * *

Today was the day Clarke would be leaving for Arkadia along with a few others and she felt sick at the thought, but she needed to do this. She wanted to do this- she just didn’t want to be away from Polis or Lexa for too long. And yes, she was aware of how clingy that sounded and no she didn’t care.

The past few days the only place she had been was in Lexa’s arms, ever since their ‘engagement’ they had been inseparable. There were times Lexa had to leave for meeting but as soon as she was back Clarke was dragging her to bed. It was nice- beyond nice but now it was over, and they had to get back to the real world.

The maximum amount of time Clarke wanted to be in Arkadia was a month and she hoped that would be the enough. She would have help from her friends, more specifically Wells and Murphy who volunteered to help her. Raven would also be there the first week to set up heating before joining Anya in TonDC. And she would have her parents who vowed to help her do whatever she needed. They still had yet to discuss everything regarding Kane, but she figured that could wait until they get back to Arkadia.

While Clarke was away Lexa would be traveling to Azgeda with Roan, Echo, Bellamy and Kol (Azgeda rep). While there they would be focusing on appointing a new leader as well as getting them supplies and initiating them into the coalition. But Lexa’s main goal was to make sure the people there were well supplied, the political aspects could wait.

With winter practically upon them they only had about a month or so before the cold would worsen especially in Azgeda lands. But Lexa only planned to be there for a week max before returning to Polis and settling for the winter.

She would also be sending Gustus and a few others to Sankru lands for the next few months while they wait out winter and then Lexa will travel there to deal with the situation.

Everything was planned out to a T and now all that was left was saying goodbye- _for now._

* * *

It was only about 6am but Clarke thought it best to travel before the city woke up for the day and they would arrive in Arkadia just as everyone else was awakening as well.

“We have to get up.” Lexa murmured into Clarke’s neck, they had both already gotten up and ready for the day, but someone how ended up back in bed cuddled in each other’s arms.

“I know.” Clarke mumbled back but made no effort to move, “Let’s just stay here in bed all day instead.”

“We’ve done that for the past four days my love.” Lexa smiled,

“Not long enough.” The blonde grumbled before stuffing her face in the soft pillows and furs that decorated the bed.

“I know but we can’t stay here forever, and your parents are waiting so come on.” The brunette begrudgingly sat up pulling the blonde along with her who groaned.

After a few minutes of fighting Clarke finally got up and dragged herself downstairs- Lexa by her side. She knew she needed to do this, but she also didn’t want to leave Polis or Lexa’s side to do it.

“What if they don’t listen to me?” Clarke asks as they walked the long halls of the tower,

“They will.” Lexa replied confidently,

“And if they don’t?” she asks looking at the brunette.

“You make them.” Lexa said simply, grabbing the girl’s hand, “We talked this through, you have a plan don’t doubt yourself now. You and your friends are the reason they aren’t dead up in space, they should show you gratitude.”

“You don’t know Arkers very well.” Clarke mumbled, “And to be honest I didn’t do it for them, I had selfish reasons for volunteering to get on that dropship.”

“I know but you still did it.”

When they arrived, downstairs bags were being put inside the Rovers and Abby and Jake as well as a few other Skaikru members were preparing to leave. The air was already cold and according to Lexa it would get worse which in a way she was excited for- well mostly the snow.

She hoped she would be back in Polis before the snow stuck so she can enjoy it with her fiancé. That was another thing, they were now engaged- which was so weird for Clarke to think about. A year ago, she learning how to perform surgeries in Medical on the ark and now she was on the ground being called the commander of death and in love with the most powerful woman on Earth.

_Life is crazy._

“When do you leave for Azgeda?” Clarke asked pulling the woman closer, _she really didn’t want to leave her._

“Tomorrow, Bellamy has insisted upon taking one of your vehicles so it will cut the travel time down significantly.”

“And you’ll be warm.” Clarke smiled,

“Yes, and that.” Lexa said leaning down to capture the blonde’s lips, “I’m glad that you’re wearing it.”

Clarke smiled feeling the brunettes smooth finger run over the metal gear placed in the center of her forehead.

“I told you I would.”

“You’re people won’t know what it means though.” Lexa points out, honestly, she knew that’s not why the blonde was wearing it but still.

“If they ask, I’ll happily tell them but I’m wearing it for me- us not anyone else.”

Lexa only smiled and wrapped her arm around the blonde’s waist as she spotted Clarkes parents walking their way.

“Good morning girls.” Abby said as her and Jake joined them.

“Goodmorning, I know your stay in Polis did not go as expected but I hope you will return in the future for more of a relaxed stay.” Lexa said,

“We will definitely be back Commander.” Jake smiled,

“Polis is a very lovely place, your mother even suggested we visit TonDC.” Abby added,

“TonDC is great, you’d liked it there.” Clarke replied, “Maybe after the winter we can all go together?” Clarke looked over to Lexa who smiled,

“I’d like that.” The brunette replied,

“Great, Wells is ready, so we’ll let you two say goodbye.”

Clarke watched as her parents walked off leaving her to do the thing she’s been dreading most.

“I wish I could stay.” Clarke whispered as she looked over the brunette memorizing every inch of the face, she’s grown to love the past 7 months.

“I do too, but it won’t be long and soon we’ll be watching the snow fall together safely from our room.” Lexa smiled pulling the girl into her arms and kissing the small gear on her forehead. “Hold onto that, anytime you miss me just think of what’s to come. I have promised a long life together, I think we can handle a month, right?”

“No.” Clarke pouted, and Lexa laughed. “But I know you’re right, plus there’s always the radio even though that’s not enough.”

“It will be fine ai hodnes, soon we’ll be reunited.” Lexa cupped the blonde’s pale cheeks and capturing her lips. “I love you, Skai girl.”

“Ai hod yu in, commander.” She whispered, enjoying the last view of the beautiful green eyes and warm smile.

“Come.” Lexa grabbed the blondes hand guiding her towards the rover that she would be traveling in.

She opened the door and Clarke hesitantly got in sitting in the metal seat that was covered with some sort of cushion. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but Clarke hardly cared about that, the only thing on her mind was leaving her new fiancé…

“I’ll radio tonight and tell you of my progress.” Clarke said as she leaned her head out the window where the commander stood.

“I’ll be waiting..” Lexa mumbled back giving the blonde’s lips one last peck, they agreed they wouldn’t say goodbye—they couldn’t. So instead, Lexa backed away from the rover allowing it to begin the journey to Arkadia.

In front of Clarke, she needed to be strong and conceal her emotions since the girl was already feeling hesitant about leaving so, she had to put on a good front. On the outside she was fine but on the inside all she could feel was loss and aching as the rover got farther and farther away from Polis. She had grown used to having Clarke by her side the last few months so seeing her leave was something her heart wasn’t prepared for.

Only nights ago, they had pledged their love with future plans to bond and now they were a part, even if for good reason it was still an adjustment.

She knew they would be fine but that wouldn’t stop her from missing her girlfriend endlessly. Thankfully, she had a few distractions of her own, first being sending Gustus and his gona off to the dead zone.

After watching the rover disappear and even minutes after staring longingly at the trees Lexa made her way into the tower.

“Indra where is Gustus?” Lexa asked the woman who was standing post in front of the throne room. Usually, she wouldn’t subject the woman to such duties, but she needed people she trusted, and Indra was at the top of that list.

“The stables Heda, preparing for his journey.”

“Thank you, Indra.” She smiled slightly before making her way to the stables.

Also, on the list of people she trusted was Gustus, he and Indra were two of the first people she met as a child when she was brought to the capital for training.

Immediately she took a liking to the man, he was tough and strict but also a good gona and ticha and she knew when she ascended, she could trust him with her life and he’s never let her down.

When she entered the stables, she was immediately greeted by one of the stable men who she nodded at before continuing her stride. She didn’t frequent the stables much, only to visit her own horse Frankie which she was sad to admit hadn’t been often lately. But soon when all this is over, she would treat him to a visit to his favorite lake at the beginning of spring, he’ll love that. Maybe she could even get Clarke her own horse and they could ride together; the thought alone made her smile. Picturing her riding side by side with her houmon, the winding carrying her blonde locks—and maybe even a goufa pressed to her back. 

“Heda.” Gustus smiled knowingly, breaking the commander from her thoughts- lovely heartwarming thoughts. “I know that look, thinking of your skaiprisa? I’m guessing she has departed already?”

“Clarke has left yes.” Lexa said her cheeks burning from his comment, but she pushed it away, “Are you ready for your journey?”

“Sha Heda, just readying the horses and we will start our journey.”

“How do you feel on time?”

“Good, with a steady pace we should arrive in three days’ time. Hopefully, the weather is on our side.”

“Raven kom Skaikru has assured me we have at least a month before the first big snow. Apparently, she has built some weather predicting contraption.”

“Interesting.” Gustus pondered, Lexa herself was still getting used to this new technology but it had proved useful so far.

“Luckily, you will be in the blistering heat.” Lexa smiled, although Ice Nation and The Dead Zone are close in range the differ greatly in weather.

Whilst most of the clan’s experience all four seasons of weather, Azgeda and Sankru don’t. Azgeda is cold year around, although for the most part the cold is manageable and only worsens during the wintertime. Whereas The dead zone is the complete opposite, year around it remains hot and sunny, at points its unbearable but with water and supplies it is livable.

It wasn’t until she was discussing this with Raven that apparently that wasn’t normal. Usually places so close in range don’t differ in weather that drastically but her theory is that the chemicals and radiation had a hand in it.

“Yes, thankfully we will be staying at the borders where we will at least get a cool breeze through the night.” Gustus laughed, “But I am honored you have chosen me for the task Heda, I will not fail you.”

“I know you won’t.”

“I should gather my gona, I don’t want to loose daylight, if we leave now, we should make it to end of Trikru lands where we will rest before continuing.”

“I will see you off.”

* * *

* * *

The gates of Arkadia came into view and Clarke couldn’t help but feel a little nervous for what she was about to walk into. For the majority of the time that they’ve been on the ground Clarke made it a point not to spend it in Arkadia.

The Ark never felt like her home not even when it was in the sky so when they landed on earth her plan was always to go off on her own. That being said she did visit her parents often just so they knew she was ok. And they would have the occasional movie night but other than that she stayed as far away as possible but now she was back.

Her parents had filled her in on how Kane had been running things and for the most part it wasn’t bad. There were flaws like they didn’t have many skilled hunters—which was obviously a problem. Seemingly they were surviving off traded goods which was idiotic on Kane’s part. If he had any sense he would’ve talked to Lexa or even the neighboring village which is TonDC about hunting lesson. There was no doubt in Clarke’s mind that Elena would’ve volunteered gona to teach Skaikru guards how to hunt, but of course Kane didn’t do that.

Luckily, Clarke had some training in hunting, and she would radio Anya who was currently in TonDC about maybe sending some people. Raven would be joining her in Arkadia tomorrow so perhaps they could come with her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the noise of the gates being opened; she could see Murphy waiting as well as Miller who she heard was moving his way up in the guard which she was happy about.

On the ark she didn’t have very many friends but the ones she did have were like family—and most happen to be from Skybox since she used to frequent there. Her second year in medical training she started teaching an art class which she convinced the council would be a could stimulating activity for the prisoners and with her moms help it was approved.

Selfishly she did have ulterior motives since around that time Murphy was locked up and she wanted to see him and make sure he knew he wasn’t alone since his parents were floated.

In teaching that class she met a lot of people like Miller, Jasper, Monty, Harper, and a few others. They became friends and she was happy for it, it was hard though when she thought about the potential of them all being floated when they turned 18—luckily, they made it to earth before then.

“Are you sure you want to do this sweetheart?” her mom asks, she hadn’t noticed the rover stopped and they were inside of some sort of garage.

“Yes.” She nodded, she was already here now and there was no going back. “Let’s go.”

The moment she stepped out of the rover she was greeted weirdly enough by Octavia who she didn’t even know wasn’t still in Polis.

“O, what are you doing here?” Clarke asked the girl; she was decked out in grounder clothes and freshly braided hair. She looked like a warrior and Clarke was proud.

“I came to help you.” She smiled, “Think of me as your assistant, boss me around do whatever.”

“Octavia, I appreciate that, but you should be in Polis with Lincoln, training and living your life—not here with me rallying together Skaikru.”

“This is where I need to be.” Octavia replied firmly, “You gave up so much for me Clarke and I didn’t even know it. You’re the reason I’m the person I am, not that my mom and Bell weren’t good company but you visiting was everything to me. You taught me about art and watched movies with me for hours, we had girl talks and you helped me through my first period when I thought I was going to die.”

Clarke laughed remembering the panic in the young girl’s voice when she arrived in her room with some pads and some Motrin for the cramps. She was freaking out and Bellamy looked like a lost puppy trying to help since Aurora was out for work.

“And when I needed help the most you risked everything to help me.”

“I was the reason you need help in the first place.” Clarke said lowly, the fear she felt as the guards ushered Octavia away that night would stick with her forever. It was devasting and even if she made up for it, she would never forget it.

“I’m not sorry that I got caught that night Clarke, it’s the reason we’re here. The reason we get to live so it all worked out.”

“Even so, you don’t owe me anything. Go back to Polis be with your man, I’m fine.”

“Do you have to be so stubborn all the time?” Octavia groaned, “Lincoln will be accompanying Lexa to Azgeda territory, so he’ll be gone at least a week, so I’ll be here with you doing whatever needs to be done.”

Clarke was relieved to here Lincoln was joining the trip, she liked knowing Lexa would be surrounded by people she could trust especially after this Sankru mess.

“Fine.” Clarke relented, “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Octavia beamed weaving her arm through the blondes as they walked to meet the others. “So, what’s first Wanheda?”

“I talk to whoever Kane left in charge while he traveled to Polis.” Clarke had no clue who it was or how they would take Kane’s imprisonment, but she had no time for any sort of resistance. She was separated from her ~~girlfriend no~~ fiancé because of this and that put her in a kill first ask questions never mood so hopefully whoever it was didn’t push her.

“The princess is back.” Murphy smiled and Clarke walked over to give him a hug,

“Thank you for coming, I hope Emori isn’t too upset with your travels.”

“She decided to come with me.”

“So, I finally get to meet her.” Clarke smirked; she’s been curious about this mysterious woman who seemed to tame her friend.

“Maybe, I can’t have you scaring her off Wanheda.”

“She’s with you so I don’t think she can be scared.” Octavia quipped and Murphy flipped her off,

“Ok, ok we can chat later right now I need to get down to business. Do you know who Kane left in Charge?” Clarke asked the boy and he nodded,

“Some woman named Ira.”

“God.” Clarke groaned; she knew the name from her mother’s time on the council. The woman was a supporter of Jaha’s but apparently switched her tune when they found out earth was survivable.

“What?” Octavia asked, “Do you know her?”

“Know who?” Wells asked, him and Miller joining the group.

“Ira Rhodes.” Clarke groans knowing Wells would know the name. “Kane left her in charge and now I have to go inform her I’m in charge.”

“I can hear the bitch fit now.” Wells murmured,

“I take it we don’t like this woman?” Octavia asks for clarification,

“Well, she’s a grade A bitch who like all council members feels like she’s above any and everything and up until 7 months ago she was all for Jaha’s plans to float 300 people to conserve air on the ark. So, no we don’t like her but I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt for now, maybe earth has changed her.”

Wells snorted at the comment and Clarke glared at him, she needed positive vibes going into this.

“At least have some hope.” She scoffed before turning to Miller, “Unlike these two you’re here 24/7, how has it been? I need to know everything.”

“Well in the beginning everything was fine….”

* * *

An hour later and Clarke was stocked up on information and walking into the meeting room with her own little council by her side. She had no clue what she was walking into, or what mood she would get from Ira, but she prayed they could do this the simple way.

The door to the room was closed but Clarke was beyond knocking, instead she walked into what seemed to be a meeting already taking place. There were only five people in the room but the only she recognized was Ira and she didn’t look to happy at them busting in.

“Excuse me there is a council meeting going and you can’t just bust in here!” The woman berated but Clarke only rolled her eyes before walking further in the room her friends following,

“Actually, if this is a council meeting this is exactly where I need to be seeing as I’m the acting Chancellor.” Clarke said watching the reactions of those around and the consensus was general confusion.

“Kane left me in charge while he is visiting Polis.” Ira announced,

“Well Kane will be ‘visiting’ for quite a while, sit and I’ll explain.” Clarke suggested but the woman wasn’t moving, “Or stand, Kane has been arrested for betraying the coalition in an attempt to make a deal with the commanders’ enemies. He has been imprisoned and won’t be returning to his post here hence my arrival.”

“Kane was arrested?” On the people asked who Clarke didn’t know.

“Yes, he broke the laws of the coalition he’s very lucky to even be alive.”

“If that is true even in Kane’s absence, I am the Chancellor so I will deal with the future of Arkadia my way.” Ira said firmly and Clarke realized this was going to have to happen the hard way.

“Listen Ira and other people who I don’t know, I was sent here by the commander herself. Meaning I am acting Chancellor, as we are a part of her coalition, she gets to dictate who is in charge. So, from this moment until Heda herself appoints a new leader I am in charge. You have a problem with that I’m sure Kane is feeling pretty lonely in his cell and wouldn’t mind company, Is that clear?” Clarke said mostly to Ira who’s jaw was clenched and expression angry. Beside her she did see the other people nodding— _they seemed to get it._ “Great now that we got that out of the way how about you tell me what this meeting was about?”

“Can asked me to reform the council in his absence.” Ira spoke, clearly still pissed about the power switch,

“What happened to the previous members?”

“Some chose not to rejoin like your mother, and others died in landing or on the other stations.”

“That’s great.” Clarke said seeing the shocked looks from the others and the snickers from her friends, “I mean it’s not great that they’re dead but it’s great they won’t be a problem. Anyways none of it matters since I am dissolving the council.”

“What?” Ira hissed, “You cannot do that, the council was created to keep balance and peace throughout the station-.”

“Then it’s a good thing there are no more stations.” Clarke interrupted to the woman’s dismay, “And I’d argue the council has done nothing beneficial for any of us.”

“We’re here aren’t we?” Ira scoffed and Clarke laughed,

“And you think that’s because of you?” Clarke smiled genuinely wondering how it was possible for people like her to be this delusional.

“The council sanctioned the mission to earth.”

“The council did nothing.” Clarke yelled causing the woman to jump, “If I recall Ira you were a voting member of the culling back on the ark. You didn’t even approve of Kane’s plan to send people to earth and now you want to claim some sort of prize because we’re here? No, I don’t think so. So now you’re to shut up and listen and people who I don’t know you’re free to go.”

Clarke took the seat at the head of the table waiting for the others to take their seats as well. She could see that Ira was pissed they were even there since most of them were criminals on the ark, but this woman’s comfort wasn’t her problem.

“Winter is nearly here, and I’m told Arkadia has not been stocking up on meets and other storable foods, why is that Ira?” Clarke asked,

“I am not in charge of supplies you would have to talk to the farmers.” She grumbled,

“But you are, I’m sorry were acting Chancellor so shouldn’t you know everything that goes on through this camp?”

“We hunt when we need to, trading gets us the rest of the supplies.”

“That’s idiotic and not how it works.” Clarke scoffs, “In order to trade you have to have supplies, trading technology and medicine will only get you so far. Write down new trade agreements and hunting lessons please.”

“Got it.” Wells said opening up his tablet,

“Ok, next thing is housing. I’m told the survivors from mount weather have been living out of huts, not very well-built huts I might add.”

To be honest the mount weather survivors were people she avoided during her visits. She didn’t want to know how they were or what was going on, she just couldn’t, seeing as she literally killed everyone, they no but now she needed to get over that.

“Seeing as their people captured ours and bled them for their blood, I think they should be grateful.” Ira spat,

“The people that did that are dead, these people helped us.”

“You were floating people on the ark for no reason and you think you get be saints down here?” Octavia scoffed,

“You’re lucky you’re even alive young lady since you and your whore mother should’ve been floated on the ark.” Ira retorted and Octavia was out of her seat in a second, but Clarke grabbed her,

“Take a break.” Clarke told the girl, but she wasn’t budging, “Get some air O, I got this.”

“Come on Octavia.” Murphy said grabbing the girl who begrudgingly walked with him throwing Ira a look before the door closed behind her.

“You need to control her!”

“If you ever say a word about her or Aurora again, I’ll cut out your tongue.” Clarke said calmy watching the woman’s face grow angrier. “You need to realized this isn’t about you. This is about Arkadian’s and making sure they get to live their best lives because now we can but Heda doesn’t give third chances and one more problem from Skaikru and she won’t hesitate to kill every last person in this camp. So, I suggest you fall in line Ira because unlike Heda I won’t give you another chance, if you become a problem, I will kill you myself. You should keep that in mind when you leave this room, which is now, we’re done.”

They all watched as the woman left, promptly slamming the door which made Clarke roll her eyes.

“Badass as usual.” Miller complimented, “What now?”

“Well, I need hold a little conference letting everyone know there’s been a power change.”

* * *

* * *

It was noon and Gustus and the others had left a few hours ago as well as Clarke who had been in Arkadia for a least a couple hours at this point. She hoped everything would go well but she knew sky people could be stubborn.

“Heda.”

“Yes Titus?” Lexa turned to meets the mans gaze, he had been especially chipper since Clarke departure which didn’t go unnoticed. She knew eventually they would have to talk about Clarke and their future but for now there were other things to deal with.

“You asked to see me.”

“Yes, while I’m gone, I want the Natblida’s to stand guard with the gona. It will be good training for them, and they need the discipline training and I think it would be good for them.”

“Very well Heda.” He nodded, “Any other orders while you are away?”

“No, I have left Indra in my post she has a radio, and I will talk to her daily until I return. For now, that is all, start Natblida training they are waiting in the throne room for a lesson.”

“Sha Heda.” He bowed before leaving,

Lexa for years had resided in Polis and never has it felt this lonely before even when she was truly alone. Clarke was gone, Anya had left a few days prior to finish her duties in TonDC—this was the quietest time she’s had since Skaikru arrived and she didn’t like it.

She didn’t want Chaos or uprisings of course but she at least wished the streets of Polis were buzzing as they usually did. The whole fiasco with the order and the executions put a damper on things but she hoped when she arrived back from Azgeda that everything would be back to normal.

With nothing else to do Lexa decided to return to her room and pack for her trip, usually the handmaidens would do it, but she didn’t mind doing the work herself. Becoming commander, she had to get used to being waited on, even after all these years it was strange, but she knew refusing would only make them feel offended and she did not want that.

As she packed her warm furs and lined pants, she couldn’t help but wonder what Clarke was doing. A part of her wanted to radio but they agreed to wait until dark, so Clarke get settle and take the reins. She knew Clarke would get the job done so she wasn’t worried, just missing her. She hoped a month there wouldn’t be necessary, but it takes as long as it takes. Hopefully soon all the clans would be straightened out and no one had to travel anywhere, that was her hope at least.

* * *

* * *

Cold winds filled the air as Clarke stepped on the podium preparing to talk to everyone in the camp. She didn’t prepare a speech or anything, but she knew what she needed to say. The ark leaders were the worst, blah, blah, blah, I’m in charge now like it or leave and probably die in the woods since everyone here seemed to be pampered.

“This is everyone?” Clarke asked Miller who was by her side,

“Yes, many died in mount weather and some went off on there own or went to other clans like you and the others.” He replied, it wasn’t bitter, but Clarke could sense something in his words.

“Have you been anywhere?” Clarke asked him,

“Mount weather.” He answered, “During the battle and the occasional trip for supplies.”

“You should visit Polis and the other clans.” Clarke smiled,

“My dad needs me here on guard.” He sighed,

“If being a guard is what you want then to do it but if it’s not then leave, there is a whole world out there Miller. It’s beautiful but you won’t see it from these gates, come to Polis you’d love it.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Clarke nodded with a smile before turning back to the crowd, she could see the confused faces.

“I’m sure as many of you know My name is Clarke Griffin.” She yelled, hoping her voice would carry. “There’s a lot I want to say but I’ll get to the important things first, I guess. First as you can see Kane is not here and he never will be again.”

Murmurs and whispers filled the air, but Clarke held her hand up and they quieted- _a trick she learned from her commander…_

“He was arrested in Polis for betraying the commander and I am here as his temporary replacement. Look I know how the ark does things and how its leaders tend to operate but if there is anything, I can promise it is that I am nothing like them. I don’t weigh a person’s value based on their station and neither does the commander. She allowed us into her coalition and Kane almost ruined that for all of us with his stupidity. The lying that the ark has come accustomed to ends here, from now on our main goal is thriving on earth. This is our second chance, and we need to do it right and we will. Together we can all make a home here, but it takes work, nothing is just going to be handed to us. We have to work together as equals. That brings me to my next point The council and The Chancellors pin. From now going forward there will be no more council or even a chancellor. Like the grounder’s we will have a clan leader and an ambassador, which when my work here is done will be chosen by Heda. Until then you get me, and we have a lot of work to do.”

Clarke finished her speech off attempting to end on a good note and for the most part every seemed satisfied with everything she said. There were a select few that she could gouge didn’t look happy, but she didn’t care.

Once everyone started dispersing Clarke ordered Miller to gather a group of guards and volunteers for hunting. The faster they learned the better, hopefully they could get good stock before the weather gets really bad.

“Clarke.”

Clarke turned around seeing Jasper and to her surprise Maya, she hadn’t seen the girl since the mountain months ago, but she looked different. Her hair was longer, her skin a healthy tan shade and the sunken droopy eyes she had before were lively.

“Jasper, Maya it’s good to see you guys.” She smiled, greeting them. “What can I do for you?”

“Well since you’re in charge now I wanted to discuss my people and their living situation.” Maya replied,

“I’m way ahead of you, I’m told there are 22 mount weather survivors is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“Well has found ten empty rooms inside the ark, you’ll have to pair up for now, but I figured it’s better than whatever Kane has you in.”

“That sounds good, thank you Clarke.” Maya smiled,

“I should thank you too, for your help.” Clarke replied, “I was going to find you eventually to discuss having a representative for your people. They will work with whoever will be my replacement sort of as a second, but It’s to ensure everyone’s needs are being met.”

“That’s greats, the others will love to hear that.”

“Cool we’ll discuss it more later for now Jasper find Wells and help Maya’s people get settled.”

“Will do.” The boy said before walking away with Maya, hand in hand. Good for him…

* * *

**_A few hours later…._ **

“Guns will scare your pray that’s why it’ll be better using bows and even sometimes a sword.” Clarke explained, she was currently surrounded by a group of guards teaching them things they should already no, but she didn’t mind especially since she had Octavia helping.

“It doesn’t hurt to set traps either, more times or not the traps will catch more than you.” Octavia adds,

“Tomorrow we’ll start some training to get you guys acquainted with the weapons for now Octavia will teach you how to make some traps, I need to go make a call.” Clarke gave the girl a look, but she nodded assuring she was fine.

Clarke headed over to her bag inside and grabbed her radio, she needed more skilled hunters, so she hoped Anya had some to spare.

“Rae it’s me you there?” she said pressing the button,

**“Missing me already Clarkey?”**

“Always but I actually called for your girlfriend.”

**“So now you love her more than me? I knew i shouldn't have let you two get so close.”**

“Don’t take it personal.” Clarke laughed, “I just need her warriors actually.”

 **“Oh, so you just want to use her cool.”** Raven joked, **“I would let her know but I’m not in TonDC right now, but I can radio.”**

“Where are you?”

**“Outside come see you won’t believe how I got here.”**

Clarke put down the radio curiously making her way outside and to the gate where she saw the grinning girl surprisingly sitting on a dark brown horse. Ever since they landed Raven has notoriously hated horses, for the most part she refused to ride them and always opted for the rover or to walk so Clarke was shocked to her now.

“Look at you, riding all by yourself.” Clarke applauded as the girl slid down from the animal grabbing the reins,

“I know, Anya couldn’t believe it when I said I was taking a horse.”

“Speaking of I thought you were supposed to be with her in TonDC.”

“She’s busy with Eire and I’d rather be here doing something productive like work on the heaters.” She shrugged, “How is it?”

“Fine, had to deal with a council member but I put her in her place.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Raven smirked as tied the horse up with the other which she assumed to be Octavia’s. “What’s this about needing warriors?”

“mostly just need them to help teach some hunting techniques and skills. So far, they’ve been hunting with guns and haven’t had much luck obviously, so I just need a few extra hands.”

“I’ll radio Anya I’m sure she can spare a few people tomorrow.”

“Great, one less problem to deal with.”

“What are the other problems?”

That one question spiraled Clarke off into a rant mostly about how Kane didn’t plan much for the future and how Arkadia had barely advanced since they landed. Then there were the people from Mount Weather living outside, they didn’t have many free rooms inside the ark, but Clarke was thinking they could build homes like the ones in Polis. They wouldn’t be as great, but they would be livable unlike the huts Kane attempted.

By the time she was done spewing off things she needed to fix night was falling so they headed inside for dinner. After speaking with the farmers Clarke learned they had enough food for the next few weeks which was fine, but they needed to start stock piling. Luckily, it wouldn’t be hard preserving meat with their freezers and coolers so they could collect and trade a lot once they started hunting. She only hoped they would pick up the training easy so they could get out in the woods.

Clarke ate dinner with her friends and parents, it was nice, but she was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to disappear off in her room and end the night talking with Lexa.

Just thinking about the girl made her antsy so she excused herself for the night and Raven joined. She hadn’t told anyone about her and Lexa’s plans to bond but she felt like she wanted to tell someone and who better than her best friend.

“I think me, and Lexa are engaged.” She blurted and Raven stopped in her tracks belting out a loud ‘What?’ “Shh” Clarke laughed pulling her into her room, “No one knows.”

“Oh my god, wait what do you mean think?” Raven asked,

“Well, we were talking about this actually.” She said pointing to her headpiece, that she still had on. “And we basically confessed our undying love for each other and made plans to bond once everything had calmed down.”

“Clarke!” Raven shrieked, “That’s amazing!”

“You don’t think it’s too soon?” she asks knowing that’s what her parents and so many other would think.

“For you no.” Raven shrugged, “You’re a very levelheaded person Clarke, you don’t do things abruptly, so I know if you’re making this decision then you’ve thought it through. Plus, I see how you and Lexa are together and the love is clear so I’m happy for both of you.”

“I’m happy too.” Clarke smiled, “Like the kind of happy I didn’t even know existed.”

“That’s love my friend, I better be the maid of honor.”

“Of course, although I don’t even know if grounders do those things. What does a grounder wedding even look like?”

“I have no clue.”

**_“Clarke?”_ **

Clarke turned to the radio in her bag, a smile gracing her face because she knew that voice.

“Talk to your fiancé, we’ll talk more wedding stuff later.” Raven winked before leaving the room.

Clarke wasted no time running to her bag and pulling out the radio,

“Baby?”

**“I’m here.”**

“I miss you.” Clarke sighed jumping on her bed, radio in hand.

**“I miss you too my love, how is everything?”**

“Well, I threatened to cut someone’s tongue out and inadvertently said it was great that half of the council was dead, so I’d say it went pretty well.”

**“My little diplomat.” Lexa teased, “Well besides that?”**

“It’s fine and I can fill you in tomorrow but right now I just want to talk to you.”

Clarke wanted to say how hard this was, how even though its barely been a day the thought of ending all of her nights like this made her want to cry but she couldn’t. She knew this was hard for Lexa too, so she needed to stay strong.

“I told Raven of our plans to bond, she’s very happy for us.” Clarke smiled,

**“I’d expect nothing less from your closets friend, but I am happy she has wished us well.”**

“I know you have to travel tomorrow so I don’t want to keep you up.”

**“I’ll be fine, I’d rather spend my time talking with you.”**

“Great then you can tell me how much you miss me.” She grinned,

**“There are no words to encompass how much I miss you my love.”**

“Always so poetic.”

 **“But you love it.”** the brunette teased,

“I do.”

* * *

[My Tumblr🤍](https://lexkru.tumblr.com/)

LONG LIVE LEXA KOM TRIKRU💚

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it's that time of year- March 3rd-- i remember watching the episode five years ago(that's crazy) and balling my eyes out. My mom thought i was insane but she was also used to it cause i cry over fictional characters way more than i like to admit (i mean TVD has gotten a lot of tears from me alone!) Anyways i love Lexa clearly lol but this character changed my life and i love and i adore Alycia with a passion (I don't really know how i feel about Eliza but that's another thing) Anyways just wanted to say that!!!! -- end rant and Long live Heda!!💚
> 
> so the next chapter will be a time jump............ 
> 
> Thank you for reading i know this chapter was kind of boring but i needed to establish some things! 
> 
> feedback is welcome and wanted!


	33. The Wrath of Wanheda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EXPLICIT CONTENT ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we meet Pike and another character we haven't seen in a while. 
> 
> BOLD AND ITALIC DIALOUGE SIGNAL RADIO CALL-
> 
> sorry for mistakes will go through and fix

“I swear to god I’m going to rip somebody’s head off!” Clarke hissed, three weeks later and people still couldn’t skin a fucking rabbit—Clarke thought it was pathetic, but she kept that to herself.

“They’re getting better you have to admit.” The other girl laughed, taking her knife, and expertly slicing through the skin.

“It’s an improvement but I still expected better.” Clarke mumbled,

“Ease up sky girl, in no time your people will be experts.”

“One can hope.” Clarke whispered seeing Wells walking over to them a big smile on his face,

“Hey, I was going to get lunch if you wanted to come.” The boy asked nervously, and Clarke couldn’t help but smile watching the interaction.

“I’d love to.” The girl smiled, “Only if you can handle this.” She turned to Clarke motioning to the four other rabbits she needed to skin,

“Go I got it.”

“Are you sure?” she asked hesitantly,

“Yes Costia, now go!” Clarke smiled looking up at the girl—months ago she would’ve never imagined having regular conversation with her but in a strange turn of events they seemed to become acquaintances.

“I'll find you tomorrow for training?” Costia asked,

“Yes, as long as you don’t tell my mother.” She mumbled, a month later and she was still being treated as if she was on bed rest. “Meet out back?”

“I’ll be there.” She nodded before walking off with Wells,

Clarke continued skinning the rabbits, silently humming to herself and thinking of what she needed to do today.

“Need some help?” Octavia asked walking over to the bench Clarke was currently sitting at,

“Sure, Costia was helping but Wells drew her away.”

“I still think it’s weird you two are friends.” Octavia replied grabbing a knife and on of the rabbits.

“We’re not friends, not really.” Clarke mumbled thinking back to the day Costia arrived in Arkadia a couple weeks ago,

* * *

**_Flashback-_ **

It had been a week since Clarke arrived in Arkadia and things have been fine, Trikru warriors were teaching hunting skills and Raven even got the heat up and running so that was a plus. Things in Arkadia were looking up and then Clarke got a call on the radio from Lexa informing her that they found more Skaikru in Azgeda lands. From what she understood most of them were from Mecca and Farm station and had landed in Azgeda territory months ago.

Clarke could tell by the tone of Lexa’s voice that it wasn’t good, Nia had been keeping most of them prisoner and when she was captured, they were left in Azgeda with no sense of what to do. Of course, Lexa ordered them to be fed and clothed but apparently some Skaikru were weary of the grounders and refused help. Luckily, Bellamy recognized a few and assured them it was ok. Even then they refused to go back to Polis where Lexa promised they would be cared for, so she suggested they go to Arkadia—which Clarke wasn’t too thrilled with.

It wasn’t because she didn’t want them here, they simply just didn’t have the room. They could barely house everyone even with people doubling up, Polis was the better option until they could expand housing in Arkadia but of course most of them were refusing to go which inadvertently caused an argument between Clarke and Lexa.

**“What would you have me do force them to Polis?”**

 _“Yes!”_ Clarke replied as if it was obvious _, “We don’t have the room Lexa, I already have people sleeping on floors.”_

**“They won’t go Clarke; it is clear whatever they succumbed to while in Azgeda has made them untrusting of my people.”**

_“Our people.”_ The blonde corrected,

 **“You know what I mean.”** Lexa said tiredly, **“I don’t want to argue with you Clarke, I can’t deal with stubborn Skaikru while also attempting to gain control over Azgeda.”**

_“Well then I’m sorry for stressing you out **Heda**!” _

**“Don’t do that Clarke, I know you have a lot to deal with as well but forcing them to Polis would only make them more distrustful of us.”**

_“Find then send them here where they’ll be sleeping fucking outside then!”_ Clarke yelled before shutting the radio off and storming outside.

She knew wholeheartedly without a doubt that she was overacting and throwing a tantrum was not going to help the situation but there was too much that needed to be done and now this. She needed to call Lexa back and apologize but first she needed air.

On the way out she was barely watching where she was going when she bumped into someone knocking her back a bit.

“Fuck, watch where you’re going.” She scoffed, looking up to see the last person she ever thought she’d see here but there she was in her beautiful model stature glory. “Costia?”

“Hello Clarke, I’m sorry by the way didn’t see you.”

“No.” she huffed, “I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention, what are you doing here?”

“Trading.” She said motioning to what seemed to be fish now scattered onto the ground, “Although I’m not sure if anyone will want them now.”

“It’ll be fine.” Clarke assured going to pick the fish up and returning them to the basket, “I didn’t know you were Floukru.” Usually only they trade sea animals since they’re so close to the water.

“I was born in Trikru territory, but my parents moved to a village near Luna’s a few years ago. It’s a small village but it’s near the water and very peaceful.”

Clarke nodded picking the last fish up and handing the girl the basket. She noticed something flash across the girls face but she couldn’t quite place it.

“Everything ok?” Clarke asked,

“Yes, I uh-.” Costia eyes flicked to the blonde’s forehead, “Lexa gave you her mark.”

Clarke’s brows furrowed for a second before she remember the metal gear on her head. She forgot she was wearing it, some days it felt silly to wear it, but it made her feel closer to Lexa and that’s what she needed. But now she was here with Lexa’s ex—who she never gave the mark and things are…… awkward?

“Yeah, a few weeks ago actually.” Clarke finally said watching the girl nod, she didn’t seem sad or hurt though—which was a relief because Clarke wasn’t trying to hurt her even if she barely knew her.

“That’s great, things must be serious.”

“Costia I’m really sorry, I know you must hate me and that’s understandable but if anything, I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know Clarke.” She smiled, “And at first I did hate you, but I let all of that go when I left Polis. I loved Lexa and I always will, but I think we both knew really deep down that we weren’t forever. As long as you make her happy then I wish you guys nothing but the best.”

“Thank you.” Clarke smiled,

“Of course, I should go It was good to see you.”

“You too and I’m sorry again for being a bitch to you.”

“Water under the bridge.” She smiled before walking away, “Oh and Clarke you still owe me a re-match.”

* * *

**_Present--_ **

“Plus, I’m pretty sure she comes here for Wells.”

“What’s up with that I thought he was dating someone?” Octavia asks,

“He was, she cheated on him he was so sad O.” Clarke sighed, “You know seeing Wells sad is like the worst because he’s such a puppy.”

“He is, but Costia seems to be helping.” She smirked nodding over to the couple who were eating across the way,

“Yeah.” Clarke smiled, the second time she saw Costia was a few days after her initial visit and she was with Wells. Apparently, they had become friendly since the girl he was dating was from Costia’s village. After that it seems they remained friends and Costia would visit him often but neither seemed to be making a move on each other even though the want as clear.

“In a change of subject, I heard Pike was being annoying again.”

Clarke groaned at the name; Pike was one of the Skaikru Lexa found in Azgeda and had been a pain in Clarke’s ass since he arrived. Luckily, Bellamy was able to convince at least half of the 48 members to go Polis which left the others to travel to Arkadia. Clarke wasn’t happy about it, but she knew it was out of Lexa’s control, so she accepted it and attempted to make room for them.

The classrooms were now filled with cots and makeshift beds, but it would have to do for the time being. When the SkaiKru members from Azgeda arrived, some were not very happy with their living arrangements, especially Pike.

Clarke knew of Pike from the ark he was a teacher, and she had the displeasure of having his class her final year. He was fine for the most part, but he had his moments, Clarke could sense a harsh side to him, but it wasn’t until a few weeks ago when he arrived in camp that she was introduced to it.

Pike was nothing she couldn’t deal with but that didn’t mean she enjoyed it. He repeatedly questioned her position—claiming she was just a child and they needed a ‘real’ leader. He also used every waking moment to bad mouth the grounders even some to their face which almost resulted in his death. Artigas—a warrior from TonDC nearly slit his throat after one of the man’s comments and Clarke was content to let it happen but unfortunately Wells stepped in before it could escalate. Pity, him being dead would’ve saved her the headache.

“He believes the people from mount weather should give up their rooms for the Arkadian’s.” Clarke said, that was the man’s newest argument. “I told him that wasn’t going to happen, let’s just say he didn’t like that.”

“I heard he’s been trying to rile up people.” Octavia whispered causing Clarke to stop and listen, “He’s been going around trying to get him on his side I guess, I don’t know but it’s clear he doesn’t want you in charge.”

“Killing him would solve so many of my problems right now.” Clarke grumbled; she knew she couldn’t just kill him for being annoying, but she wanted to. “Have people been siding with him?”

“Not that I know of, even some of the people he arrived with seemed content with things here and with the grounders.” Octavia said, since their arrival Clarke had the younger girl be her ears. Any talk of any sort she wanted to know about it and Octavia always managed to get it. She was proving to be a good spy—thanks to her friendship with Ontari no doubt.

“Maybe I’ll get lucky and he fucks up and gives me a good excuse to kill him.” Clarke smiled, thinking about how convenient that would be.

“Hopefully.” Octavia says, “So have you talked to Lexa?”

“Not in a few days.” She huffed, after the arrival of Pikes group communication with Lexa became choppy.

Both girls had so much to do and little time to do them since they wanted to be back in Polis by the end of the month. Lexa’s week trip to Azgeda got extended due to everything going on there and it didn’t help that the radio was spotty there which left them not being able to talk for days at time.

Clarke hated every moment of it, she already hated being away from the girl but eliminating the radios made the pain worse. She had her necklace and the mark to remember her but hearing her voice kept her grounded. It reminded her that this is temporary and that soon they would meet again.

She thought after Lexa’s trip to Azgeda they would get to talk more but unexpectedly Lexa was called The dead zone by Gustus due to some unrest which meant she be going even more out of their range since Arkadia and the dead zone were not very close.

That was a few days ago and thankfully they got to talk for a little while before she left. The conversation wasn’t about anything other than how much they miss and love each other but hearing each other’s voices was enough to hold them over _\- for now._

“But it’s fine.” Clarke added, “Soon we’ll be out of this place and everything will be fine.”

“That’s the spirit.” Octavia smiled, but those words were the only thing Clarke had to hold onto for the time being.

* * *

A few hours later……

“Wells this is amazing.” Clarke smiled, looking at the small house in front of her. It was a one-person home, but it was built expertly and 100% better than the huts they had before. “I can’t believe you built this.”

“Well, the people from TonDC were a big help, the techniques they have are incredible and taking woodshop on the Ark didn’t hurt either.” He shrugged, “This was more of a trial, after winter we can really begin building.”

“That sounds amazing Wells.”

“And what do you expect us to do until then?” Someone asks from behind them, Clarke couldn’t help but groan at the annoying voice.

It was like she could physically feel her body on fire when she turned to see none other than Charles fucking Pike standing there.

“Until the winter passes, and we can get more building supplies from the other clans we will just have to keep making room inside the ark.” Wells answered, and Clarke was glad for it.

“Make more room!” the man scoffed, “We’re already sleeping on top of each other.”

“That is why we are working on making more room.” Clarke said as calmly as she could, “I know it’s not the best situation, but we are working on fixing it.”

“If kids weren’t running this place, we could’ve had this sorted weeks ago!” he shouted, “First thing you could do to clear some space is kick those outsiders out and give people who actually deserve it a room.”

“I understand your frustrations Pike, but we aren’t going to do that.” Wells replied, “I assure you we are working on it-.”

“Not hard enough clearly.” He interrupted, “We need to take action.”

“Listen you can’t just come in here and start making commands, you’re not in charge and you need to realize you place here.” Clarke replied to the man who barely even looked her way.

“Who even put you in charge little girl?” he asks her finally looking her way.

“Like I’ve told you several times I am here under the commander orders.”

“Ahh yes, the all might commander. “he mocked, “The grounders are running us into the ground! The commander hasn’t done a damn thing for us.”

“I’d say she’s the reason your alive.” Clarke said, “She could’ve left you to die in the blistering cold, but she had you escorted here, god know I would’ve left you to die if I’d known you be such a bother. Luckily Heda is nicer than me.”

“That savage did nothing for us! She’s lucky we didn’t kill her and her people on the spot.”

As soon as the words left his mouth Clarke was on him, her dagger pressed to his throat as she held him against the wall of Well’s freshly built house.

“You want to say that again?” She whispered pressing her dagger into his throat—not enough to cut him, not yet.

“Clarke!” Wells yelled,

“Say it again, I dare you.”

“Clarke!”

Clarke pressed the dagger further seeing a pool of blood decorating her knife, the cut was small, and she would’ve kept going until she heard her.

“Wanheda, Teik em gonot!” another voice demanded, **(Wanheda, let him go.)**

The voice filled her ears, and she couldn’t help but feel her body relax because for days all she’s wanted is to hear that voice and now she was here—somehow.

“Now, Clarke.” She heard Lexa say and finally she let up on the man’s neck,

“If I ever hear you talk or even speak of her in a bad light again, I’ll kill you myself.” She growled before pushing the man to the ground, Wells helping him to his feet.

“I want her arrested!” Pike yelled holding the small cut on his neck,

“Have him escorted to Abby for his wound.” Lexa ordered Wells who nodded dragging the man inside the ark.

Lexa made her way over to Clarke who still hadn’t turned to face her,

“Take me somewhere we can talk alone.” Lexa said to her quietly and the blonde nodded still not turning around instead leading them inside and to the meeting room.

As soon as Clarke opened the door, she was prepared for Lexa to be angry that she just almost killed someone in front of the whole damn Arkadian population, but he shouldn’t have talked to her like that.

“I know it was erratic and stupid so please don’t say it.”

“It was.” Lexa agreed locking the door before making her way over to the blonde who still hadn’t faced her, “But we can talk about that later.” she whispered placing a kiss on the blonde neck.

“How are you here right now?” Clarke sighed leaning into the brunette’s touch.

“Doesn’t matter.” Lexa murmured pulling the blonde’s jacket off before throwing it to the floor. “I missed you so much Clarke.”

“I missed you too baby.” Clarke said finally turning around seeing the beautiful face she’s missed for the passed three weeks. Her face was covered in her paint most likely from traveling through the clans. It didn’t matter either way she was gorgeous, and those forest green eyes make her whole-body shiver- finally she was with her houmon- her home.

Eagerly she leaned forward capturing the plump lips into her own, desperately kissing them as if it was the last time she would ever get to.

Before she knew it, her clothes were littering the room and Lexa was pushing her against the table with only their underwear on attacking her neck and chest with her amazing mouth.

“Fuck—we should- ah go to my room.” Clarke moaned as the warm mouth enveloped her breast. “Lexa!”

“No.” she mumbled looking up to cloudy blue eyes, “Right here.”

“People sit here.” Clarke said halfheartedly, not even caring at this point.

“I’m sure this will be the most interesting thing to happen in this room.” Lexa smirked, kissing her way down until she reached the blondes thigh placing a chaste kiss on each of them. “Tell me to stop and I will.”

“Fuck Lexa you know I don’t want you to stop, so don’t tease me just fuck me.”

Lexa laughed before running her tongue over the blonde’s clothed center, “Sha Wanheda.”

The next thing Clarke knew her panties were torn from her body and Lexa’s amazing tongue was licking and sucking on her folds.

“Baby!” she moaned her hand catching braids in an attempt to push the brunettes head forward, “Fuck Lexa I need more.”

Lexa smiled as she lightly sucking on her clit while her fingers went to work teasing her entrance. Maybe another time she would let the blonde beg a little more, but it’s been three weeks since she’s seen her, and she had no time for games. Slowly she slid two fingers inside her tight entrance eliciting a loud moan from the blonde. Lexa placed one last kiss on the hard bud before making her way back up to the blonde’s lips.

“Like that?” Lexa whispered, above her lips—increasing the speed of her fingers until the blonde was a mess under her, “Is this what you wanted my love?”

“Yes, baby- just like that Lexa!”

“I missed tasting you.” She whispered placing a soft kiss on one of her huge breasts, “And touching you.” _another kiss_ , “And making you moan my name as you cum all over my fingers.” _another kiss,_ “Did you miss my fingers making you cum _Klark_?”

“Yes.” She moaned arching her back as Lexa sped up her pace,

“Yes what?” Lexa asked, taking a hard nipple in her mouth.

“Yes, I missed cumming on your fingers, and your mouth and everything! Fuck! Please Lexa.”

She knew Clarke was close, so she sped up a bit causing the woman to scream many things mostly ‘Lexa’ or ‘fuck’ or ‘baby’ sometimes all three.

“I don’t know if should let you cum after the little show you put on out there.” Lexa teased slowing her pace down getting a groan from the blonde,

“Please baby.” She begged attempting to move her hips onto the girls fingers but Lexa stopped her, “Lexa!”

“Just because I missed you so much, I’ll let you cum.” She smiled, regaining her pace, and watching as the blonde came undone. Moans and gasped filled the room as she came hard on the brunette’s fingers.

“Mhmm.” Clarke sighed, her body coming down from it’s amazing high. She hardly noticed Lexa laying next to her on the hard table. “Thank you.”

“You taste so amazing.” Lexa moaned licking her finger clean of Clarke release,

“You taste better.” Clarke smirked leaning over placing a kiss on the brunette’s shoulder while her hand made its way towards the girls covered center feeling how wet she was, “And you’re dripping.”

“That’s what you do to me.” Lexa moaned at the slight pressure decided to push her own panties aside running Clarkes fingers through her wetness, “It all for you.”

“You know.” Clarke whispered climbing on top of the brunette straddling her, “What you did was cruel, almost not letting me cum.”

“But I did.” Lexa smiled sitting up, throwing one of her legs over Clarke’s so that their centers were rubbing against each other, causing both of them to moan.

“If I were cruel, I’d do the same to you, but I love you too much and I don’t plan on teasing you.” She smiled wickedly before slowly circling her now drenched pussy against Lexa’s wet folds. “I’m going to fuck you like this with my pussy and make you scream my name for the whole camp to hear and then I’m going to fuck you with my fingers until you cum all over my face, do you want that baby.”

“Yes.” Lexa nodded, she loved when Clarke took control of her—she was the only one who ever could.

“Yes what?” Clarke teased pulling her center back hearing Lexa whimper at the loss,

“Yes, I want you to make me cum all over all your face.”

“You don’t want me to make me cum by letting you rub your wet little pussy all over mine?”

“Yes, please Clarke!” she begged,

“I like it when you beg Heda,” She smirked before pushing herself back onto Lexa feeling her warm folds rubbing against her own, _this would be fun…_

* * *

An hour later both girls laid exhaustedly on the metal floor using their clothes as a makeshift blanket as they caught their breath after whatever round they ended up on. The table became to uncomfortable so somehow, they ended up on the floor, but neither were complaining. They were in each other’s arms and that’s all that mattered.

“We should probably go back out there soon.” Lexa mumbled as she starred up at the metal ceiling.

“I’m not ready to share you yet.” Clarke replied, cuddling into the girl’s arms.

“I know but we have to.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“I wanted to surprise you.” Lexa smiled, “The problem in the dead zone was handled and you have another week here so I figured instead of traveling back to Polis I could join you here and we’ll go back together.”

“I’m glad you’re here.” She sighed, “If you hadn’t been, I probably would’ve killed him.”

“What did he say to you?”

Clarke sighed thinking of Pike’s comment, “Basically that he should’ve killed you back in Azgeda and that you’ve done nothing for him.”

“I see.”

“He’s been a problem since he arrived.” Clarke added sitting up, “I told them there was no room here, but they came anyways instead of going back to Polis with the others and now he wants to complain every time he gets the fucking chance and fine I can deal with complaining but I won’t allow anyone to threaten you in anyway, ever.”

“I know my love.” Lexa smiled, “But you also can’t just kill someone because of a comment.”

“So, then you have to punish me?” she smirked, but Lexa’s face told her that may be the case. “What’s my punishment?”

“Have you found your replacement yet?” Lexa asked sitting up as well and collecting her clothes to put on.

“Not exactly, I thought my dad would be a good choice, but he doesn’t want it and he’s busy running engineering trying to work on steady electricity among other things. The only other person I thought of was Wells, he’s pretty much the reason I haven’t killed half the people in this place and he’s really taken a leadership role here.”

“Do you think he will want it?”

“I don’t know.”

Lexa nodded putting the rest of her clothes on—Clarke deciding to do the same. Once they were dressed, they cleaned up their mess, whipping down the tables and floors before leaving the room. Clarke was a little embarrassed to see Lexa’s guards standing post outside of the door but she shook it off pretty quickly.

Clarke still had no clue what the brunette was thinking but she figured she should just wait and see.

“Before you go all commander mode, I just want to say I love you and if you really do have to punish me then I understand. Whatever It is I’ll take it and I won’t hold it against you—I just... want you to know that.” Clarke sighed letting the girl hand drop as they walked outside and into the courtyard.

Before Lexa could reply Octavia and Wells walked up to them both with urgent looks.

“Heda.” Octavia bowed,

“Octavia.” Lexa nodded, “Wells, is everything, all right?”

“Pike is throwing a fit demanding Clarke to be arrested and he’s not exactly calming down.” Wells explained,

“Take me to him.” Lexa said and the boy nodded hesitantly before leading the way to the infirmary.

Clarke trailed behind letting Lexa take the lead as they entered Medical where her mom was treated a few patients. 

“Commander.” Abby smiled widely upon seeing the woman,

“Abby it is good to see you, I’m looking for the one called Pike.”

“Right.” Abby said throwing her daughter a ‘we’ll talk about this later’ look before responding, “He’s right this way.”

They followed Abby until she pulled back a curtain revealing an angry Pike who was handcuffed to the bed.

“Pike kom Skaikru.” Lexa said firmly getting the man’s attention, “How is your wound?”

“As if you care.” He scoffed, before turning to Clarke. “She attacked me and I’m the one who gets handcuffed.”

“You’re handcuffed because you won’t calm down.” Wells said to the man,

“Do you claim yourself to be apart of the sky people’s community?” Lexa asked him,

“I was born on the ark of course I am a part of this community.”

“That’s what I thought” she nodded, “Skaikru has pledged their allegiance to me and my coalition. That means I am your commander; I outrank ever person in this camp including Clarke. I understand Azgeda has treated you poorly, but they were not my people and I can’t condone what they did, but I can sure you the clans a part of my coalition are not like them. But I’ve already explained this to you and your friends and still you chose to come here and be hateful and problematic. It’s unnecessary.”

“The conditions here are horrible!”

“They’re horrible because you brought your people here when I informed you there wasn’t fucking room.” Clarke yelled causing Lexa to give her a look, “Sorry Heda.”

“Wanheda is right Pike, your people were informed that Arkadia was not fit to house all of you and instead of going to the capital where you would’ve been housed and cared for you came here. Any issues you have are your own fault but that doesn’t matter now. Tonight, you made a comment about my life and the lives of my warriors and that must be punished.”

“I want her punished she nearly killed me!” he yelled,

Lexa nodded turning towards Clarke, “Wanheda for your behavior tonight I am stripping you of your role as Chancellor. From this point on you are not in charge of Arkadia.”

“Finally.” Pike sighed,

“Wells kom Skaikru, from this point on you will be acting Chancellor until I say different.” Lexa said watching the boys shocked expression, but he nodded, “Octavia, Pike is to be escorted to wherever you keep prisoners until the morning where I will decide his punishment.”

With that Lexa made her way out of the room ignoring Pikes yelling and shouting, her guards trailing her.

“Commander!” Wells yelled running after her,

“Yes Wells.” She stopped, her hands finding their place behind her back.

“You put me in charge i-.”

“If you believe you are not up to the task you can tell me now, but Clarke believes you are, and I think the same.”

“You do?”

“Yes, you are very diplomatic Wells and good with people two traits every good leader needs.” She smiled slightly, “If you decide by the end of the week you don’t want it, I will find someone new.”

“Ok, i- uh thank you commander.” He bowed awkwardly but Lexa just nodded before her eyes flicked to Clarke who was still standing by Medical.

“Wait for me outside.” Lexa said to her guards who nodded before leaving, “You’re upset?” She said to Clarke,

“No.” she replied honestly, “I told you I wouldn’t be no matter what you did, I messed up I understand that. I am relieved though; I’ll still help Wells while we’re here, but I hated being Chancellor.”

“I figured you’d appreciate the break.” She smiled,

“This is hardly a punishment Heda.”

“Don’t tell anyone but, I favor you Wanheda.”

“I’ll keep it to myself.” She smiled, planting a soft kiss on the brunette’s lips. “You look tired.”

“Besides, you wearing me out, we’ve had a long travel day.”

“Then come, you need to rest.” Clarke said pulling her to the direction of her room.

“Trying to get me back in bed Wanheda?” she smirked,

“Maybe.” She shrugged, “Although I do have to warn you since we’re short on rooms I am sharing with O, so no funny business.”

“Buzzkill.” Lexa smiled and Clarke laughed,

“You spend way too much time around me.”

“I do, but I love every minute of it!”

“I know.” The blonde smiled sweetly, damn wasn’t she glad her commander would be sleeping in her arms again.

* * *

[My Tumblr🖤](https://lexkru.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is wanted and welcomed!


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